• Happy Janmashtami to those of you who celebrate. It’s a festival that pulls my heartstrings and fills me up with vatsalyam. Every inch of my heart is filled with gratitude for the blessing of raising two boys. For the past couple of years, I have been gravitating towards the Bhagavad Gita, an yearning to soak in the wisdom it offers. I am not quite certain where or how to get started but I trust that I will find the path. 

• Today was also the first day of the school year for Ram. It feels like back to school just snuck up on us. He has had a summer of leisure. He attended a couple of weeks of scouts camp, nothing organised otherwise. Every year he takes on a project on a whim. Last year, he was on a mission to get to know his family tree and hit the 1,000 member mark. This year, he has been bank hopping collecting quarters. A family friend generously gave their coin collections that are several decades old. 

• Over the weekend, Ram and I went on a 20-mile hike to finish up a scout requirement. We had a good time on the first 10 miles but it got progressively harder after that. We walked like we were doing adi pradakshinam for the last one mile of our walk. All in all, to earn this merit badge, we have done four 10-mile hikes and one 20-mile hike. Phew! 

• Our Hari has been spending the summer months with us! He has been interning remotely, and catching up with his circle of friends. He and Ram have been cooking quite a bit this summer, taking care of their own breakfast and lunch needs and even making meals for us.

• We have been binge watching Monk as a family. Yes, that show from decades back which is a mystery that is not really a mystery. We love Adrian Monk and his quirks. I enjoy the mentor-mentee relationship between Lelland and Disher. Natalie of course! I used to like Kroger a lot and how much Adrian obsessed over him. We have to hurry up and finish the series before Hari leaves for college in a couple of weeks.

The kadai kutty of our household is camping out in the woods this week. Small things remind me of him. Like when I am scooping a spoon full of ripe juicy kiwi. Treating ourselves to kiwis and mangoes has been our summer indulgence.  I think of him as I take a walk in the woods and I start sensing the weight of the water bottle. Do you have people in your life who take it upon themselves to carry things for you? This child is one such person.  It’s hard for me because I am such a person too. I can’t bear to have others carry things for me. So he and I are constantly arguing about who will carry what for how long. I miss him at the end of the day when he would give me an ultimatum to sign off from work. I smile to myself as I leave my glasses outside the case in the car. His stern reminder to put my glass in the case rings in my ears. I miss him a lot at night as we collapse on the bed to binge watch Monk and at bedtime as we cuddle with our respective books. 

Alright now, if you will excuse me now, I will have to grab a pen and write to him. That has been our ritual when he is at camp. He would write to me and I to him and together we would read it aloud once he returns.

At the start of the year, on a whim, I deleted social media apps on my phone. I have YouTube on my phone and I still check FaceBook and Instagram once every few days on my laptop but that’s pretty much it. 

What am I not missing? 

• The Influencers and the posts that got thrust on me by an algorithm that thinks it knows me better than I do myself. I didn’t quite realise how much they cluttered my mindspace. 

• The impulse to escape somewhere when things got overwhelming in the moment. This was hard in the beginning because I felt restless not knowing what to do and where to go. I don’t think I have found a cure for it but it has been interesting to observe the impulse of the mind to run into the wilderness (metaphorically speaking) at the slightest hint of discomfort. 

What am I missing? 

• Instagram gave me moments of bonding with Hari and amma. I miss discussing Zarna Garg with Hari or Anu Hassan with amma. 

• Community updates and gossip – where is the best place to see Northern Lights? What are other parents doing to help their kids move out of the dorm? What new shops have opened in the centre? 

Not having social media on my phone works for now. Only time will tell if I will stick to it. As far as things I am missing out, maybe I need to have a dedicated time over the weekend to catch up on specific personalities and communities that I follow. 

How about you all? How are you managing your social media habits? Have you tried detoxing?

I was sharing with Ram how we decided that we are going to pool all the Barnes & Noble gift cards we have received over the past few years and split them between Hari and Ram so they can buy something of their choice instead of us choosing it for them.

I told Ram that may be he could get the pricey lego architecture set. Instead of being happy, he seemed disappointed. “Why love… I thought that would make you happy. It was supposed to be a treat for all the commitment and hard work you have put in for different activities.” “But mom, I want to be surprised for Christmas?” 

Ha! The magic is in the surprise, in the not knowing. “Oh, you thought this was instead of Santa’s gift?” I winked at him. The kid perked up. “Don’t worry, this is different. Santa will bring something, you made it to the NICE list after all!”

That’s the story of Christmas this year in our household.

Thankful for this November ritual that makes me want to pause every day this month to recount my blessings and put pen to paper. Thank you to those of you that accompanied me on this journey either through your comments, likes or just simply reading what I had to say. 

Wrapping up this month with two of my favourite little moments for the day. Making lemon rice for Hari as he travels tomorrow. It’s like the good old high school days. Early morning cuddles with Ram. 

Here’s wishing you all plenty of little moments day in and day out.

Ram and I have taken a break from our one-mile runs for the past week as he has been feeling under the weather. Otherwise for the past three months, we have tried to run a mile a day for three days per week. This routine is part of the Personal Fitness merit badge that he has signed up for at scouts. This merit badge requires him to show improvement in his eating habits and fitness level (running, stretching, strength training) over a course of three months. He is not required to meet an absolute standard rather an improvement relative to his base performance. 

Trust me, this merit badge is easier said than done. Doesn’t help that Ram is already overscheduled or that the weather is the kind that makes you want to curl up with a book in hand.  But thankfully, between the two of us, we recognize that this is a stretch goal for us and we remind each other that we need to show up and put in the work if we want to make progress. So we have been gently pushing each other, “let’s go mom”, “Ram, budget time for running.”

Ram’s eating plan is to have only two desserts per week. And if running is hard, eating right is even harder. So many many temptations… Two days of dessert is not bad, right? Except that throw in birthdays, playdates, halloween, diwali, and thanksgiving in the mix. Temptations galore! In his report to his coaches, Ram did confess that he struggled with this goal especially because he had not determined at the outset what was considered as dessert. 

I am grateful that we embarked on this journey. This has been an exercise in being aware and mindful. I know we will not continue to keep up with this level of rigour once the testing is done but I do hope some of the learnings stick.

After being indoors for two days, I was delighted to have a silent companion as I walked through the busy town centre tonight. Who else but the moon of course! Thankful for the little moment of awe!

After a quarter of working hard at college, Hari has been unwinding at home for the past ten days. The first few days, he missed his dorm room and college. “Mom, it’s weird. It’s the little things. I noticed that the fork at home is smaller than my cafeteria.” “When I left college, I thought to myself that this was going to be my last stir fry in a while.” Needless to say, it only took him two days to get used to his cosy queen size bed and not having to be adulting full time here in the place where he grew up.

I am happy and thankful that he feels at home here and there. As much as we miss him when he is away, we wouldn’t want it any other way! It’s a gift to feel a sense of belonging and strong ties to multiple places.