Little Moments Thursdays

How many Thursdays have gone by that I have intended to recount the little moments of the week but have allowed myself to get distracted with the gazillion other things happening in life. Not this Thursday, I promised myself. So here I am typing away.

Taking two days off during the work week. Monday did not feel like an off day but on Tuesday, I made it a point to carve out some time for myself and declutter my headspace. Time well spent!

Watching Manifest with Da. First, the plot had us hooked but now we are watching it out of habit. Still, the joy is in watching something together and bonding over it.

Chit chatting with the kiddie gang at the bus stop. What better way to start the day than a good old dose of innocence.

Low key golu set up and visits. For Tuls’ poonal, we made a poonal set that sits in a golus of friends and family.

Started learning Dhanashree Thillana. The music is oh so soulful!

Hope your week was filled with little moments that you savored.

Our kadai kutti

Of the many things I so love about him, these are some of my favorites

His thank yous and love yous. When you hear it, you just know that he means it!
How once something catches his fancy, he allows himself to immerse in it, to be consumed by it.
How he laughs out loud, oblivious to his surroundings, as he silently devours his books.
How he showers us with a boatload of handmade gifts for birthdays, holidays and anniversaries.
His creative outlets from photoshop to video editing to making animation out of a bunch of scrap papers or coming up with a fiction.
A stickler for punctuality, how he takes responsibility for being on time for all his commitments.
How he is own person, self sufficient and at home with his strengths and weakness
The way his eyes twinkle at the mention of his favorite food
How he is clear about what he wants and what he doesn’t want

To this darling child, happiest of birthdays. Continue to be the awesome, kind, hard working, charming you. We love you our precious kadai kutty.

Celebrating…

… my appa on his b’day. Wishing a world of happiness and the best of health and spirits to one of the most compassionate, empathetic and detail-oriented persons ever. Happy b’day dearest appa, with lots of love from the Jing Bang Gang.

Lucky us!

My childhood friend, who lives two houses away from us, has fondly nicknamed her Annapoorni, a name associated with goddesses of food and nourishment in Hinduism.

Almost every mid-week, she visits my friend to drop two bags of treats. One for each of our families. It’s a visit that we have come to expect with fondness and gratitude. The treats are her culinary experiments and they vary by week and by season. Her speciality is what the boys call as monuts – a cross between donuts and muffins. Some days it is ricotta filled pancakes. On other days it would be savory corn breads, hakka noodles or pasta. During the summer it can vary from watermelon ice cream to strawberry shortcakes to peach strudels. And in fall, it’s pumpkin and cranberry filled delicacies and apple cakes. Did I forget to mention the holiday treats? Mint flavored brownies, fruit cakes, bread pudding, raisin and choc chip cookies, fudge, just to name a few. My personal favorite is the simple dhal, and the spicy potato sabzi she brings.

And it’s just not about the treats and the food. It’s in how she shares them with us, week after week, unconditionally, without expecting an acknowledgement, a thank you or a favor in return. She doesn’t even mind that we don’t return her food containers. It’s baking, cooking, and sharing simply for the love and joy of it. Nothing more, nothing less.

Who can be so selfless with their time, energy, talent and resources, you ask? Only someone who has a heart filled with goodness and has earned the nickname of Annapoorni.

Back to School – 2021-22

It hadn’t occurred to me until I was actively packing his lunch box. Is this lunch box too small for this child who has grown by leaps and bounds since I last packed lunch for him a year and half back? How could I have not thought about it? I rush to the pantry and rummage through the scant collection of plastic containers and pick one.

Today was the first day back to school. It took a little bit of reacquainting with old routines. One child was excited to go back after being remote schooled for 18 months. Another child was reluctant to go back after spending a summer of leisure. For one it was the last but one first day of high school. For the other it was the last first day of elementary school.

As is my routine, I sent the elementary child by school bus and followed the bus to see him gathered in school with his classmates and to say hello to his teacher. This is no longer needed but I do it because this is my last chance. Next year, I will not be allowed to go to the bus stop, let alone the school. That last bit of holding on before letting go.

Back home, I take stock of all the extracurricular activities and commitments, and I try not to get dizzy. There is so much to do. There is only so much I can do. I have to treat my time and energy with respect. Be mindful of where, on who and on what I am expending time and energy so I spend them on matters that are close to my heart and not drift away unintnetionally.

Little Moments Thursday

Just as the summer began, it felt like life was bearing some semblance of returning to a new normal. Pandemic fatigue led to pandemic indifference and now we are back to square one talking about surging numbers and masking up. And don’t even get me started on the resistance towards wearing masks. If you don’t want to do it for yourself, do it for others. If you don’t want to do it for others, do it for yourself. Either way, it’s a win-win situation.

With that rant out of the way, here’s recounting some little moments that made my week.

This week was my 16th work anniversary. I feel fortunate to work for a company and in a team that fosters an atmosphere of growth. I don’t think of myself as an ambitious or competitive person. But I am curious, I find joy in learning, I love putting things in perspective for our clients, and I strive to do high quality work. I am deeply thankful for the financial freedom, intellectual stimulation, and the exposure that my job has given me.

Watching Hari blow the stumps with his bowling. The child took three wickets last game and I was there to see him in action! I just love to see this kid on the field, be it cricket, baseball or more recently frisbee.

Ram rolling up his sleeves to make Christmas presents! I know that Christmas is only another five months away. What can I say, this child likes to get a head start. When an idea strikes, he just keeps going, consumed by the process. Otherwise, mostly he is sitting on the couch, giggling at the pranks of Garfield.

Celebrating my amma and niece this week. Happy b’day to amma and Shraddha. Wishing you two all the happiness your hearts can hold. Amma and I have been talking about books and reading lately. She has been reading voraciously and has been exploring and nurturing her interests during this pandemic. I am so very proud of her! And my niece, what can I say, she is such a doll – curious, hard working, smart, lovable and loving. I am one dotting athai.

Hope all of you are staying safe and making the most out of each day! Tudlu for now.

Remember by Lisa Genova

I am in my upper 40s. I hate to admit it but I am forgetting more and more things with every passing day. Mostly proper nouns. Like characters from books and movies. I am finding it more difficult to memorize last names. It is unsettling. So much so, believe it or not, I have googled – is it common to forget proper nouns? Ironically, I don’t remember what the results were. I can only guess it was nothing remarkable or fruitful.

I chanced upon this book Remember by Lisa Genova at my library and reluctantly picked it up. And it has been quite the revelation!

To start with, there is a whole spectrum of memories. Working memory (that part of your memory that helps you remember from start to end), muscle memory ( brushing, biking, drinking, bathing – things that we master with focused attention and practice), semantic memory (facts of life), episodic memory (what happened, accounting of our life experiences), and prospective memory (our to do lists).

What is foundational to making memories? You remember things that you pay attention to. You remember things that evoke an emotional reaction. Things that are routine in nature are seldom things that you recall. Facts, events and experiences that you do not retrieve gradually fade away with time. Visual and spatial cues help us remember better.

How can you sharpen your ability to remember? Eat mediterranean diet, sleep for 7 to 9 hours, meditate regularly, stress less, do not shy away from using external tools (calendar, reminders etc.), pay attention, repeat and quiz yourself, use imagination to have spatial and visual associations with proper nouns.

Please do not miss an opportunity to read this book. One of the best I have read in a while. I am closing with a few gems from the book.

“Memory is everything. Memory is nothing. “

“If you consider memory a really big deal, you will value the true awesomeness of your memory enough to take care of it. You’ll know that by using the right tools, your memory is unlimited in its potential. You can learn a new language, play a guitar and score an A on that test. You’ll also appreciate your memory, and plenty of research has shown that gratitude is associated with greater happiness and well being.

At the same time , if you also hold memory as not a big deal, then you’ll be comfortable with and forgiving of your memory’s many imperfections.

By not engaging in blame or a battle with your memory when it forgets, as it inevitably will, you’ll feel calmer and less stressed. And less chronic stress is good for your memory and like gratitude, your overall well being.”

“Take it seriously. Hold it lightly. Memory isn’t everything.”

And one more thing, I found her advise on diagnosis on Alzehmiers heartening.

“Diagnosis doesn’t mean you’re dying tomorrow. Keep living.

You won’t lose your emotional memory. You’ll still be capable of understanding love and joy. You might not remember what I said five minutes ago or even who I am but you’ll remember how I made you feel.

You are more than what you can remember”

Uyiur thanni

I placed the raspberry plant carefully in the hole that I dug and closed it with the dirt. I felt gratitude well over me. I was thankful to my dear friend who generously gave me this plant without me asking for it. At that moment, I felt blessed to be surrounded by friends who care and that this living plant was now gracing my yard. A piece of her garden growing on mine.

Amma’s words uyir thanni rang loud in my ears as I fetched the red bucket with water. A few years back when amma worked with us in our yard, she taught us this term. The first water that you pour over a plant after planting it is uyir thanni. It is it’s sustenance. Life giving and nourishing. Both Da and I have learnt to treat this final step of planting with sanctity.

As I poured the uyyir thanni, I set intentions, and sent positive vibes to the plant. Hang in there, stay strong, may you grow and thrive here.

Equally True

I follow Happier with Gretchen quite religiously. In that she often talks about how the opposite of a profound truth is also true. She says, “This is a mysterious and powerful aspect of human nature. I want to accept myself, and expect more from myself. I want to think about myself so I can forget about myself. I want to use my time efficiently, and I also want to take time to wander and play.”

I have been contemplating on philosophies that are the opposite of each other, still equally true. And they revolve around the notion of perfection.

On one hand, you don’t want perfection to be the enemy of good. That is, not being so hung up on the notion of perfection that it becomes a stumbling block to taking action, to following your heart or to making your dreams come true. Better to be imperfect and make progress than being stuck in the quest for perfection.

On the other hand, anything that is worth doing, is worth doing well. Put your best work in all that you do because it is a reflection of who you are. You need to hold yourself to higher standards, strive for perfection, so you can churn out high quality work.

We should not let Imperfection become a loophole for sloppiness. Nor should we let perfection be the reason for inaction.

2020-2021 school year done!

One full academic year of remote learning done for Hari. He worked hard, coped well with less instruction time on a rigorous subject content (esp. bio), and just went with the flow. He made the best out of this unusual school year. I am so proud of his resilience and perseverance.

Ram along with other elementary children had to adapt to all kinds of learning. Imagine being masked all day. Imagine sitting in the classroom in winter with windows open. No, it’s not the end of the world. But it takes adapting, which he did without a whimper of discontent. I was reading one of his essays in which he talks about Covid-19 and the resulting learning experience. He wrote about his glasses fogging up so much that he decided to remove glasses because he was able to see better without them. He vented his frustration at not being able to connect on Zoom during the library hour, and having to ask for help in the Google Classroom hoping that someone would respond. He wrote about being in the classroom meant they were together and not alone in their learning. Even when he didn’t complain, it looked like there was a lot that was going in his head and heart. I am just so very proud of his flexibility and adaptability.

Thanks to all educators and administrators. You came out with flying colors in these testing times!