Copping
July 4, 2026
Nineteen-Year-Old: It looked like he was copping a feel of her grave.
Advances
July 3, 2026
Twenty-Two-Year-Old: There’s been a lot of advances in smoke bomb technology.
Electrifying
July 2, 2026
Me: It’s like running a shower curtain bar between your floor and ceiling, and then electrifying it.
Condo
July 1, 2026
Nineteen-Year-Old: A spider condo!
Bugs
June 30, 2026
Twenty-Two-Year-Old: I forgot he’s in it for the bugs. I thought he was in it for the love of the game.
Big Swamp
June 29, 2026
Brother: We’ve got to build up the big swamp energy.
Sweatshirt
June 28, 2026
Nineteen-Year-Old: I was going to bring my Garfield sweatshirt. I would have died.
Twenty-Two-Year-Old: I would have resurrected you with the power of love.
Me [singing]: “That’s the power of love.”
Twenty-Two-Year-Old: I weird myself out.
Fungused
June 26, 2026
Brother: That guy got fungused up real good.
Lessons
June 25, 2026
Me: I had a dream where we joined a synagogue located on a Mississippi paddle boat. There were a lot of “Huck and Jim” lessons at the religious school.
Your Dialogue is Unrealistic. 