Advances
July 3, 2026
Twenty-Two-Year-Old: There’s been a lot of advances in smoke bomb technology.
Electrifying
July 2, 2026
Me: It’s like running a shower curtain bar between your floor and ceiling, and then electrifying it.
Trash Can
June 22, 2026
Man: I was with a girl last night. I was like, “I’m with a girl, getting a trash can? This is not good.”
Expired
June 20, 2026
Man: We have freezer pops in the bottom of the freezer.
Man’s Son: Those are expired.
Man: They’re just sugar. They don’t expire.
Man’s Son: Then why won’t Mom let me eat them?
Power Up
June 15, 2026
Restaurant Manager: Do you want me to make you a new one?
Me: No, I want to find the button.
Restaurant Manager: Don’t eat that, or you’ll power up.
Salad
June 12, 2026
Server: Is something wrong, Brett?
Me: The power button from my phone fell into my salad.
Deviled
June 10, 2026
Restaurant Manager: Fried deviled eggs. Fried deviled eggs. Fried deviled eggs.
…
So now it’s going to show on your feed.
Roadie
May 31, 2026
Bartender: My roadie’s in the beer cooler.
Weed
May 28, 2026
Me: Nice car. Pity it smells like weed.
Your Dialogue is Unrealistic. 