Words get lost with you
It’s just me trying to be mum
What’s there to say
When my words are invigilated
Like I am in examination
Impressions based on a nod
It has always been like this
Eventually it’ll cease maybe
But right now I’m fragile
Wishing if there was a way out
Why do these feelings get bottled up?
Stinging till there is a cure
Wait until I find a backdrop
Shivering with cold silence
I find none to offer a warm hug
Blinking back tears I know
I may never be alongside you
Done with wandering
My heart whispered
“HEY LISTEN TO ME ! I DO BRING JOY”
And I finally listened..

Even if we’re not cross
No longer together
It’s weird to see you smiling
Scrolling your phone & grinning
Every new ping diverts your attention
Shiny cute dimples appearing
Making you look more adorable
Awkward eye contacts still barge in
Hoping to digress our convos
I slip away from your nirvana
To sit where you don’t see
Play of emotions on my face
I gulped in my lack of control
And gave you a bigger smile
Indicating “I am happy for you”

God!Killing you with my bare hands
Is a fucking relief claiming you are died
Your every drop of blood dripping on the floor
Courtesy of the shovel
Your shallow heartbeats fade 
Leaving a white color on your skin
Dumping you on a hard wooden floor
Saliva lumped your throat
Scratches bruised your Adam’s apple
The blueish purple veins rushing in your hand
Show no more circulations
I sigh with a sense of rightness
Armed with strength
I slayed my fear

P.s: People it’s all a imagery and I ain’t a serial killer lol..You know some people are kinda vultures madding crowd with fear and atrocity so here it goes for them a Lil venomous writeup :p

Exhilarated & profound
You’re honestly
Sneaking peak at my face
Deciphering like a dotting love
What if I’m keeping things
Effortlessly trying to be rarely cross
About the between-the-lines look
I reach for my comforter
To signal you to hush &
Let bygones be bygones
When I’m literally the sleepest
So step aside & don’t screw other
Blackholes drilled in me

Radiant and vibrant
I am caramelized in a glow
Humour fancies me
Dark shades under my skin
No longer dance
I’m over that freight train
Of persistent nerve wrecks
Reluctant to get the trauma again
I overheard my head pledging
To be better for the humans around me
Gulping in a dose of optimism
I gleamed regardless lame banter
Even now the mirror looks at me with a smile.

I love you, right?
We’re like storm together
Meant to have a forever
Lovers quarrels, verbal jabs, mute wars
We have done this all
Exchanging pleasantries
With uhhhs and hmphs
Still I can’t let my guards down
Your every reaction is a contradiction
I let my boxing gloves on
To get tough with the upside down
Of letting go of my heart soreness
After no more holes and voids
I survived whilst not
Talking about how I feel.
It will always be
Yin and yang
Dark and light
Good and evil till we last.

You are like a skyscraper beyond reach. Everytime I try the elevator to reach you, it just stops in the middle leaving me blackedout and stuck. You grump now looking down upon me like I am a gross bedroom closet hanging open for disgust. There were days when our paths strided in sheer happiness of unity – the days when I was emerging as a rock to stand by you and for you. Now watching the tables turn I see you rising but you are showing no signs of empathy. Trying not to give a rat’s ass I know this wheel of time will keep on spinning till it rolls you over the ground in a mud where you won’t see me giving you a hand.

P.s: I guess we all face such craptastic situations when we dreadfully need someone to help us and they just turn away even after we had been there for them in their grievances.

This voice in my head never lies.It is running after me every time I try to buzz it off ,shaking my insides not to stray; actions I am not really sure about or maybe about every random thing I do that gasps my breath. It’s a whisper proclaiming me to hear what it has to say. I try to close my eyes to dodge it away but somehow it echos, tapping my chest to listen what it has to say.Recognizing it’s benevolence I know this voice is my real mercy in midst of my cold hearted blood.

“You are still mourning over the lowest phase of your life. It will never cease until you get out of your hermit zone.I see you muddled up in thoughts so vague where you get stagnant and unresponsive.Even if you see no chance to survive then why do I notice your little grin with a blank stare? Don’t you think I can’t see you feel thst gleam in your eyes when you take a sip of a chilled coke, or go running with me down the golf track, or what the smell of a fresh bake cake do you, the excitement of rising up early to see sunish hues of dawn ,or sharing my intrigue for some new food, the amusement in making me nervous with your awful jokes, or the sudden air of comfort you inhale over my lurking over your stuff, the rain drops shining on your beautiful face. There is so much more to you than a girl who is furious with fears, insecurities and happiness. You can’t deprive yourself at your chance at happiness just because you think it won’t work. It will anyway when you embrace loose strings and knots woven in you are actually helping you become a master piece. You can’t quit now just because things aren’t going your way.Somehow you need to feel okay with whatever will happen,it’s bound to happen. Don’t frisk away now in oblivion, just trust your instincts with all your might. “
Twining her fingers in mine,  I saw her smiling after a long long time.

He kept thinking –

“She should have called…But she didn’t, she never really does . Who am I kidding when I wait every four five second for phone bell to ring but there is no sound except the distance echo of thunderous rage pacing in my mind. You know what she is just used to my initiating every move like a first text,  a first hello, a first sorry, a first good gesture..hanging onto all my first steps to move alongside.You know it’s us to be blamed for giving them all our priorities, setting a level where they are just accostumed to our pampering because weirdly we have raised the bar in their prestige and we critically judge ourselves for not following the pattern we had set to please them . They at the end are so confident relying on us for taking the start and bingo they go unnoticed for even causing a brake fail in our lives.”