I’m here at work….my schedule says 8 but I don’t see anyone else. So I’m just awaitin’. I’m starting to wonder if there was a boo boo on my schedule because usually I’m the second person here not the first. Its nice to have that extra moment alone sometimes but, this girl sure could’ve used that extra half hour of sleep.
So, at least I get to write and jam! Last night I wrote a letter to Mr. Insomnia….let me tell you that bastard didn’t listen. He has absolutley no respect for the tired. Next time I will reach to his superiors first. Although, I did get a bit of sleep last night. I don’t remember S coming to pick the baby up. She must’ve come right after I fell asleep because I was wide awake at about 2:30am. Does anyone else have tricks or rituals they do to try and sleep? I pile my blankets and pillows into the living room, flip on the tv, and try to bore myself to sleep. I also….don’t laugh!….have a bear I can’t sleep without. D gave it to me to replace the other one I used….I know, I know, but I can’t get rid of it! It takes me somewhere when my life made sense.
Speaking on that subject…..I’ve started the healing process. Every second gets easier and easier. Yesterday I went and got my nails done, the next step is to get my hair done. 🙂 my sister and I took the baby out for lunch and met up with some family. We had a good time! There are so many things I missed that I didn’t even realize. I was so consumed in my relationship, I forgot about the world. (One could argue D was my world, but I digress) What’s making this easier than normal, is all the things I keep finding out. I never realized how fake things were and how wrong I was…..I never realized how controlled my life was. I’ve met a great group of people and I’m rebuilding some old relationships. I can’t say that I don’t still love D or that our relationship was a waste, because I learned so much from it. I’m finally at the place where I can forgive her and I do. I will always be there for her as a friend but, I’m standing on my own two feet and I’m ok. 🙂
Ok, work time.Â
I am the Master of my Fate 