Tag Archives: verse

now, baby, now, baby baby!!!

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~

VALLEY O’ DEMOCRACY NO. 35

by rawclyde (1999)

!

So, boys, here’s another answer: marry quaint Lady Poverty

forget those worldly women who crave diamonds & property

who bump their knolls in your face & expect you to eat

like they’re your dessert when they’re in fact your defeat

~

~

When Ma n’ Pa die take your inheritance & explore the land

buy an old truck, make a book store out of it, make your stand

in a spot that’s right and forget getting fat and rich

if you get too poor, grab a shovel, dig a ditch

~

(2025)

~

Do it for half the year in the Tower o’ Babel where there’s all kinds of jobs

if you’re not too particular & don’t mind working with wise-cracking slobs

now repair ye olde shrine & buy more books that shed bright light

and get the hell out & return to that spot that is right

~

~

There’s your answer, boys, thee only answer I got

I don’t know if it’s gonna work but I’m giving it a shot

and one more thing, you gotta learn how to be humble and pray

‘cuz it’s for the glory of Your Creator that you’re pokin’ along your

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way…

verse from an out-of-print book

A Love Song To The American Lizard

by Rawclyde!

(Copyright Clyde Collins 1999)

YouTube video via Jessica Denson

post illustrated via artificial intelligence

blame the post editor: Spitball Fury

valley of democracy no. 23

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But we want Diane the swift Lizard Lady

we want her so bad we don’t mean maybe

with her fantastic running ability, scales & all

oh Diane, my eternal fall is having heeded your call

!

We want Diane the Lizard Lady so swift

to whom my tongue was my most sincere gift

a symbol of my wish for eternal servitude

even slavery, especially if she got a little rude

~

~

Oh Diane, I beg, please appear & dump on me again!

i’d love it so much, i’d love it with a drooling grin

Oh Diane, please forgive me for referring to you as a “whore”

when you had 3 boy-friends & I was the one with the lowest score

~

I’d chop it off just to be your eunuch one day a week

go ahead, make thee other two cum, then sit on that with which i speak

I’ll lick yer clit ’til ’tis a mighty tidal wave upon foriegn shores

I’ll crawl on my belly while doing ALL your domestic chores

…

rawclyde

!

text

copyright clyde collins 1999

art

courtesy of clyde caldwell

~

valley of democracy no. 15

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by rawclyde

!

All I wanna be is a human being on planet Earth

I don’t have to get married, raise children, or give birth

to a new creed, a new law, or a new way of life

I just wanna live right despite nature’s or man’s strife

~

But, little darlin’, if you insist, your man I’ll be

we’ll do what’s gotta be done and raise a family

we’ll add two dozen kids to the population of a big city

and I’ll even run for mayor if it makes you proud of me

~

Oh yes, little darlin’, yes yes!  I’ll build us a boat

do all the rowing just to see your sweet smile float

as I sing to my precious delicate dove

we’ll float tenderly into the Tunnel Of Love

!

Into the tunnel of love we will float float float

into the tunnel of love in our little row boat

and when the river goes dry beneath the desert sky

we can crawl hand in hand across the sand you and I

!

And when our bubble do burst & we’re dying of thirst

and there’s nothing left but to lay down and curse

I’ll be your husband and you’ll be my wife

and we’ll live right despite all this terrible strife

…

from

a love song to the american lizard

(copyright clyde collins 1999)

valley of democracy no. 10

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by rawclyde

!

Vladimir Lenin has somehow transfigured into a buzzard in this desert land

and so has Elmer Gantry, the professional (by Sinclair Lewis) good man

together they glide in lazy circles above the tiny town of Why

where I’ve parked Holy Mary’s shrine beneath this “wasteland”s sky

~

They’re peaceful creatures tipping now and then as they glide in the air

feeding on the dead, I suppose, when I don’t see them around up there

once one starved a lot of peasants, the other fooled a lot of folks

down below, I roll cigarettes, light ’em and enjoy my coffin-nail tokes

~

Holy Mary, I believe, wouldn’t mind appearing in a peasant’s vision

but in the United States, ha! we only believe in subtraction and addition

the subtraction of God & thee addition of money in the bank

plus dope and television and nobody upstairs to humbly thank

~

Except the buzzards, Vladimir & Elmer, oh and here comes Harry

Harry?  Where’d he come from?  Oh no!  Also here comes Gary

there’s all kinds of buzzards around here but I see no road kill

and out of the pure blue appears a real beauty whose name is Jill

~

Well, it’s good to know there’ll be no funeral expenses when I go

it’s good to know I’ll nourish some o’ God’s creatures at my final show

they’re so peaceful, they don’t bother anybody, don’t make a sound

I’ll just have one more cup of coffee as they peacefully glide around

…

(copyright clyde collins 1999)