Tag Archives: Rumi

Fabulous Friday: Fabulosity Part One

In a Facebook Rheumatoid Arthritis group that I’m in, someone posed the question: How did your life get better after being diagnosed with RA?

Not necessarily because of RA, but after you found out you had it?

I marked it, saved it for later for when I was a) not hurting so badly and b) could actually think of ways my life has gotten better.

My answer, when I had sketched it out, was far too long for a Facebook post. In fact, it’s far too long for a single blog entry.

So I present to you, Part One.

I.     I have become more mindful.

I say this one first, because it is the foundation for all the rest of the ways my life has improved.

Within the past few months, I have incorporated meditation into my morning routine, a short piece of time where I try to do nothing but follow my breath. It’s a bit funny…everything comes along just as I sit “to sit,” as they say, and that’s when the dog’s butt must be scratched, the wild cat who detests me decides to rub against me, and the cats in the far bedroom knock something over that may or may not make it dangerous to walk into my bedroom.

But I sit.

2. I also take 20 minutes in the morning and use it to attempt to learn something new.

I have what may be a literal ton of books in my house–many of them I haven’t read. I’ve made a vow with a passion that Brienne of Tarth could appreciate: I  will not get any new books until I read the ones that I have. I’ve been tested. There are so many things out there I want to read, and I am ever-so-grateful for Amazon’s wish-list feature.

oathkeeper

Aah, my precious. Is that an Oathkeeper in your pocket, or are you happy to see me?

But I have so many books that I have and, at one time or another, wanted to read them. So, I read them first.

Right now, for example, I’m reading Dealing with People You Can’t Stand: How to Bring Out the Best in People at Their Worst by Dr. Rick Brinkman and Dr. Rick Kirschner.

I think i won it for raising my hand at a customer service conference I went to several years ago.

It’s a decent read, at least at 20 minutes at a time. I don’t know that it’s affected my behavior in dealing with people. In fact, I don’t know that it’s directly changed anything except pointed out the irrationalities of some of my own behaviors.

It’s just one of many elements that have been introduced within a short amount of time. But I am different.  I deal with people differently. I deal with my time differently.  I deal with forgiveness differently.

My life has deepened; it has–perhaps not more–but different meaning.  What I love has been magnified:  a flower that is where it “shouldn’t be,” a shared laugh with a friend, really, really good coffee, the feeling of accomplishment at adding another 1,000 words to the novel.

What I don’t love has lessened or fallen away:  the attraction to negativity, the addiction to distraction.

Mindfulness–as it’s progressing for me, anyway–has been the single biggest change in my life, but it has set the stage for every other positive that has happened since I was diagnosed.

It reminds me that flares are temporary, life–with or without   flares–is fleeting, and my proverbial clock is ticking. It forces me to examine the question: What do I want to do with my life?

Rumi said, “Let the beauty of what you love be what you do.”

RA has, at the very least, sharpened my focus and led me, perhaps kicking and screaming, in small steps toward the beauty of what I love be what I do.

I won’t go so far to say that “RA is a gift.”

I am SO not that Zen.

But it has brought about changes for which I am grateful.

And that is something.

(Image Sources: Featured Image taken by my cell phone; Brienne with Oathkeeper from HBO’s Game of Thrones found here.)

Fabulous Friday — Not Here

BOOKSometimes a phrase or verse absolutely captivates me; it’s just that fabulous.  It gets me thinking, the wheels turning, and I must, must, must share.
This week, it’s Rumi.  From the Soul of Rumi, translated by Coleman Barks. For some reason, I can’t seem to format the title with the rest of the poem.
I’ve had worse days.
Not Here

 

There’s courage involved if you want

to become truth.  There is a broken- 

open place in a lover.  Where are

those qualities of bravery and sharp 

compassion in this group?  What’s the

use of old and frozen thought?  I want 

a howling hurt.  This is not a treasury

where gold is stored; this is for copper. 

We alchemists look for talent that

can heat up and change.  Lukewarm 

won’t do. Halfhearted holding back,

well-enough getting by?  

Not here.

This is the essence of writing, for me.  And, as I’ve recently discovered, the essence of life.

Continue reading Fabulous Friday — Not Here

One Task Down …

So it’s Sunday, and I’ve finally, finally finished my short story that was due at 6:00 on Friday.

It’s now almost 3:00 pm on Sunday.

It was pointed out in class that no one had written about sex yet, and after that, every one after that (so far) had some sexual element in it.

I tried to do something different, although with that sort of invitation, it was kind of hard to resist writing some sort of straight-up sex scene.

Mary Gaitskill has this way of writing about the ugly and the sordid and making it something sweet an intimate. At least some times, I think. I doubt I was as successful as she, but that was what I was going for. It’s only version 1.5 (and very, very late), but I’m rather proud of it, actually.

Of course, it hasn’t been torn apart yet. That might make a huge difference.

Continue reading One Task Down …

Miracles Part II (Orig: March 7, 2008)

When ink joins a with a pen, then the blank paper

can say something. Rushes and reeds must be woven

to be useful as a mat. If they weren’t interlaced,

the wind would blow them away.

Like that, God paired up

Creatures and gave them friendship.

Rumi, Essential Rumi, trsltd by Coleman Barks

I read over the Part I part, and I realized I went no where near where I meant to with it.

So I’ll try again.

Apparently it takes a really long time for something to slip down between the folds of my psyche. I’m slow like that at times.

One of the big sayings at the Unity church which I attend is “Know that you know that you know.” Which, on an intellectual level, I got. There is a difference, obviously, between intellectually understanding and really, really getting something.

I don’t know the particular moment that I got that I got that I got it, just that I didn’t at one point, and then I did.

There was a particular moment when I realized something absolutely wonderful, though. There was a shining, singular moment when something spectacular and fabulous and utterly wonderful occurred to me. There was a shining, singular moment when I realized something so profoundly simple.

That I didn’t have to be fat anymore.

Continue reading Miracles Part II (Orig: March 7, 2008)

And So It Begins, Again

I have an overwrought mind. My mind is overwrought.

I was going to blog about the weather. Oh, the weather. Frightful, wonderful. It’s raining and has been all morning. It’s also cold.

Cold, wet, miserable LOVELY weather. Weather that makes you stay in bed. Forces you to, really, as you succumb to the warmth and coziness of comforters and covers and, dare I say it, warm balls of fur.

But then I was thinking of Rumi:

“When ink joins with a pen, then the blank paper

can say something. Rushes and reeds must be woven

to be useful as a mat. If they weren’t interlaced,

the wind would blow them away.

Like that, God paired up

creatures, and gave them friendship.

It’s been on my mind a bit for a few different reasons. Partially because whenever I pick up the book, it falls open to that page with my scribbles and exclamation points. Partially because, meaning aside, it’s just lyrically beautiful.

And partially because of the quilt thing.

Continue reading And So It Begins, Again

Dancing Moments

Sometimes I wonder if I go through life half-mad. Not angry, necessarily, but a bit past the reaches of “strange.”

But there are moments that show me that I’m not. Moments that, in the big picture are entirely trivial and yet the uncanniness of them spooks me sometimes.

The past few days have consisted of moments such as these.

The night of my last final, I met some folks at the Mexican restaurant and indulged in a bit of margaritaing. (I know it’s not a verb, but it really should be) The next morning, or more accurately, the next afternoon, I bummed a ride to my car.

On this day, the one directly following my very last final, thus marking the end of studying and other nonsense for four weeks, I left the parking lot of the restaurant and, not passing go, went directly to Barnes and Noble to find a GRE prep book.

I know, sad.

Continue reading Dancing Moments