Tag Archives: disconnection

personal

Dreaming of Peace

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I woke up at 3:42 this morning. I know this, because it adds up to 9. I’m not sure what my fascination with the number 9 is, but it’s something that sticks out in my head. When I put numbers in stories, such as weight, addresses, whatever, I make a conscious effort to make them add up to 9. This isn’t something new, I don’t think, but years and years of 9’s.

I woke up at 3:42 this morning, my head full of nightmares. I was dreaming of people I hadn’t thought of in a long, long time. I don’t know if there would be a good time for this, ever, but especially not this week, the last official week of class, the hell week before the time reserved for finals starts up.

Her name was a translation for peace, and I remember when I first met her that if I ever had a daughter, I would use her name.

But then I found out why she was there.

In an effort to be preemptive, I’ll warn that this will definitely not be work safe. It will be unpleasant and graphic. I just thought I’d warn you.

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Eat Pray Exercise

Miracles Part II (Orig: March 7, 2008)

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When ink joins a with a pen, then the blank paper

can say something. Rushes and reeds must be woven

to be useful as a mat. If they weren’t interlaced,

the wind would blow them away.

Like that, God paired up

Creatures and gave them friendship.

Rumi, Essential Rumi, trsltd by Coleman Barks

I read over the Part I part, and I realized I went no where near where I meant to with it.

So I’ll try again.

Apparently it takes a really long time for something to slip down between the folds of my psyche. I’m slow like that at times.

One of the big sayings at the Unity church which I attend is “Know that you know that you know.” Which, on an intellectual level, I got. There is a difference, obviously, between intellectually understanding and really, really getting something.

I don’t know the particular moment that I got that I got that I got it, just that I didn’t at one point, and then I did.

There was a particular moment when I realized something absolutely wonderful, though. There was a shining, singular moment when something spectacular and fabulous and utterly wonderful occurred to me. There was a shining, singular moment when I realized something so profoundly simple.

That I didn’t have to be fat anymore.

Continue reading Miracles Part II (Orig: March 7, 2008) →