I Write Her

Wedding Ring

The ring won’t come off,
stuck
around my finger for a year,
tarnishing.

The emergency room attendants grasp
ring cutters,
two large, young men
delicately snap
the gold band,
placing the two halves
of an opened circle
in my palm.

The jeweler melds
the ring together.
You can hardly see the cracks,
all the tarnish polished off,
the red impression around
my finger nearly gone.

Veneration

I
A new church where I haven’t been to confession, 
still, the priest knows my sins,
yelling at me to come up and take communion,
wafer stuck in my throat, 
like smoke,
and nothing else.

II
The usher doesn’t need to speak,
flames in his eyes and gestures,
waving me forward to venerate the cross,
again, standing frozen,
not wanting a cold icon,
icy metal body, against my lips.

III
Windowless church basement service
for divorced families,
no communion.
The tight hairband of the veil,
guazy dress,
float away.

The Wrong Church

I was there
in a Protestant church,
my sister in a white hat,

my mother disappointed it wasn’t a veil,
too shy to dance with my new brother-in-law,
afraid to go over to my grandparents’ table,

enemies to my mother after my parents’ divorce.
Shaking, I sign,
witnessing that invalid marriage,

second vows with her second husband
allowed once I slide the paper,
thin as a wafer, to the priest.

A long-distance chilliness follows
about missing my nephew’s December
wedding in the church

decked out in Christmas
poinsettias, sparkle, evergreen, mink coats.
Our cathedral window arches moon’s cloud, 

a filmy eclipsing.

Things That Are Red

my grandfather’s hair
my nephew’s truck and hair
my mother’s lipstick
my father’s misshapen plaid sweater
my sister’s vacuum cleaner, a Red Devil
my husband’s coke can
my other nephew’s choir gown
my mother-in-law’s roses
my grandmother’s eyes
my brother-in-law’s tonsils
the abalone my father-in-law gave me before he died
the blood tying us together

~~~

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