Tag Archives: Christian Nationalists

The book “Fahrenheit 451 tells the story of Guy Montag and his transformation from a book-burning fireman to a book-reading rebel. Montag lives in an oppressive society that attempts to eliminate all sources of complexity, contradiction, and confusion to ensure uncomplicated happiness for all its citizens. As Montag comes to realize over the course of the novel, however, his fellow citizens are not happy so much as spiritually hollow. People in this world are constantly bombarded with advertisements and shallow entertainments, leaving them no space to think for themselves or assess their own emotional states. The result is a society that grows increasingly selfish, pleasure-seeking, disconnected, and empty.”—Full Book Analysis, SPARKS NOTES

I recently left the country for an extended trip down under and during my travels refused to engage in social media or read the news. I had had it with the state of our nation and the ignorant madness being perpetrated by some of our citizens. As soon as I returned, I checked in with the oldest and wisest human being I know—a 95-year-old African-American woman who takes no prisoners—whom I’ve known most of my life, and whose mind is still sharp as a tack.

“Hey Sweetheart,” I said, as my nonagenarian friend picked up the phone. “Missed you. How’s everything been since I’ve been gone?”

“Since you’ve been gone my vagina broke,” she said, without any trace of irony.

“Come again,” I replied, with my foot firmly pressed down on the pun pedal.

“Don’t try and be cute with me,” she said. “I’m being serious. I can no longer hold any pee in my body—pee constantly squirts out of me all the damn day long. The minister of my church dropped by to check on me and give me Holy Communion the other day, and I told him that my church-going days are over because my vagina is broken.”

“Pray tell, what did the Right Reverend have to say to that bit of illuminating news?” I asked as I tried to suppress my uncontrollable giggles.

“He mumbled something about providing an escort to the Ladies Room during the church services which are three stories downstairs in the basement.  I told him that I didn’t need a date, I needed a new vagina, ASAP!”

“Brah-ha-ha! Well, besides your broken muffin, did anything else break while I was gone?”

“Yes. My heart broke. Florida’s Governor Ron DeSantis and some group called the ‘Moms for Liberty’ are trying to turn our country into Ray Bradbury’s Fahrenheit 451. Do you remember how long a road I traveled working in the public school system to get our Black children educated through reading and their contributions respected in this country?”

“Yes Ma’am, I do since I’m one of your protégés, and I’ll be eternally grateful that you saved my mind and my life. So, what exactly happened?”

“You should look it up on your Google machine to get the full story,” said my mentor of old. “Basically, DeSantis signed a law that says if even just one parent objects to a book in their school system, they can get it banned or marginalized. Some illiterate woman in Florida, by the name of Daily Salinas, filed a complaint against Amanda Gorman’s poem, The Hill We Climb, as containing ‘indirect hate messages’, and it was moved and put under restricted access of the school library where her two children attend so that no other children could read it. Just like my vagina can no longer hold my pee, my heart can no longer hold the fear of what’s happening in our country due to the assault against books by idiots.”

“You mean the Amanda Gorman who was the first person to be named National Youth Poet Laureate? She who graduated Phi Beta Kappa from Harvard University? The young African-American who published six books before she turned 25—three of them specifically written for children? That adorable young woman who wrote and read The Hill We Climb at President Biden’s inauguration? What could Ms. Salinas find objectionable about Amanda’s work? Is she offering children as human sacrifices to the Devil at her book signings?”

“Well, we’ll never know what that foolish woman found truly problematic. She doesn’t even know because she confessed in an interview to only reading ‘snippets’ of the multiple books she filed complaints against, including The ABCs of Black History, and Love to Langston. She never read Amanda Gorman’s book. When asked by an interviewer if she’d even read any reviews regarding Amanda Gorman’s poem, she proudly said no! Can you believe that heifer?  That idiot of a woman said (and I quote): ‘They have to read for me because I’m not an expert. I’m not a reader. I’m not a book person. I’m a mom involved in my children’s education.’ (By ‘they’, I suppose she means the people who put her up to this travesty!) To add insult to injury she claimed that Amanda Gorman’s poem was written by Oprah Winfrey! Lord, have mercy! The woman’s not only stupid, but she’s blind too!”

“I just googled Daily Salinas,” I said, “and found pictures of her hobnobbing with the Proud Boys—that horrid White Supremacist group. I see another pic online with her at a Moms for Liberty school board protest. (That’s the Florida group who is trying to eliminate the teaching of sex education in schools, LGBTQ+ rights and racism in American history.) Her Facebook page even showed some pretty raunchy Right Wing and hateful anti-semitic posts until she deleted it. So, in other words, she’s a tool being used by hate groups, and she’s too dumb (because she doesn’t read) to know it. Good grief!”

“All I know is that this book banning ignorance is spreading like wildfire. It’s already a prominent issue in Texas, Missouri, Utah, Oklahoma, and South Carolina. And the Governor of Arkansas has signed a new law that threatens up to a year’s jail time for librarians who make banned books available to minors. According to the New York Times ‘a vast majority of the 2,571 titles that drew complaints last year were by or about L.G.B.T.Q. people or people of color.’ Can you imagine where you’d be today if you hadn’t had full access to your school and public library—if you couldn’t have read Langston Hughes’ poetry or James Baldwin’s prose? You would have never found your calling or your voice!”

“Yep,” I replied. “I’d be illiterate. Impoverished. Uneducated. Dirt poor. Visionless. Certainly not a writer today. Anyway, My Love, I can fix your vagina with a lifetime supply of Depends. As to your heart, that may take a while, and we both may pass on to be with Jesus before this war is won. But I promise you that wherever I have influence I will rally the troops to fight this book banning ignorance so that we aren’t thrown backwards another hundred years. I’ll light a fire under my children and their children to fight this evil spirit with all their might. Trust me, there are enough people like us who love books—books that changed our lives for the better—who will never allow America to become a Fahrenheit 451 as long as they wake up to this danger before it is too late.”

AMANDA GORMAN FIGHTS BACK

” I’m gutted. Because of one parent’s complaint, my inaugural poem, ‘The Hill We Climb,’ has been banned from an elementary school in Miami-Dade County, Florida.”

“And let’s be clear: most of the forbidden works are by authors who have struggled for generations to get on bookshelves. The majority of these censored works are by queer and non-white voices. I wrote ‘The Hill We Climb’ so that all young people could see themselves in a historical moment. Ever since. I’ve received countless letters and videos from children inspired by ‘The Hill We Climb’ to write their own poems.”

“Robbing children of the chance to find their voices in literature is a violation of their right to free thought and free speech. Together, this is a hill we won’t just climb, but a hill we will conquer.” “So they ban my book from young readers, confuse me with Oprah, fail to specify what parts of my poetry they object to, refuse to read any reviews, and offer no alternatives… Unnecessary book bans like these are on the rise, and we must fight back.” —Amanda Gorman Tweets

Amen, Sister-Friend, Amen!

Eleanor Tomczyk is an author and a satirist who is an award-winning voice-over performer.  In 2011, she created the blog, “How the Hell Did I End Up Here” which features mostly satirical posts that have thousands of readers around the world—although she was recently banned in Pakistan (for real!).  Tomczyk’s three books were featured in a recent book festival: “Monsters’ Throwdown,” “Fleeing Oz,” and “The Fetus Chronicles—Podcasts to my Miseducated Self.”  Currently in her 70s and living life like it is freakin’ golden, she is a consummate storyteller and much sought-after motivational speaker.  If you don’t believe me, just ask her!

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