The tactile quality of Picasso’s famous Blue Period
lies not in its stark eerie nor its monotone pale glaze
of darkness but of how quaintly the wrist of its subjects c
url like flowers trying to reach for the moon,
in the bleak of the night.
Out of the Box?
All those lessons on creativity and how one has to think outside the box?
Well, China did that. But were persecuted. Kind of selective persecution
by the gurus of creativity and out of the box thinking.
Back Back Back
In a flashback
if you playback,
kindly layback and
re-read that feedback
which is a kickback
from that outback
that had us setback
thus the cutback
and the piggyback.
Drifted
“I enjoy talking to myself. I mean, what do you think
play-writers, bloggers and poets do all the time? If you
don’t enjoy wordplay, and losing your thoughts in
situations that affects you, and reformat it into some
kind of understandable monologue, honestly do you
think you have the niche to become a writer? I
monologue all the time~ and am loving it!
That doesn’t mean I am crazy!
Maybe a bit drifted…
Mayhem
Your environment shapes you,
your circumstance shapes you,
the people around you shapes you.
No wonder you are in such a mayhem.
Beggars On The Streets
“There’d still be beggars on the streets
for as long as there are those
who capitalize on the simple
and the weak
and charges exorbitantly
from those in need.
There’d still be beggars on the streets
when one’s prayers
are rudimentarily centered
upon oneself.
There’d still be beggars on the streets
when education and healthcare
is not free for a lifetime
and monopoly is allowed to thrive
in a capitalistic society.”
Enterprising Hongkies
The British knew how enterprising the Chinese are.
It is recorded in their colonial files. Thus, to keep the
Hongkies at bay so they don’t seek control nor defy
the ruling government, they encourage horse betting
so that they can suck back fast enough every single
hard earned cent. At the same time, the British allow
the property prices to sky rocket. That’ is to keep the
Hongkies busy for generations. So the Hongkies want
back the British?
Please don’t make me laugh.
Western Education
A western education ensures that everyone falls
in line thus if you don’t conform, you are considered
a threat. They will then evict you off the system that
remains till today, exclusively theirs to benefit from.
China indeed knows that.
Mercury is in Uranus
During his routine medical check, the long suffering patient asked the doctor, “Do you think I’ll live a long and healthy life?”
“I doubt it”, said doctor, “Mercury is in Uranus right now.”
The patient said, ” I don’t go in for any of that astrology nonsense.”
“Neither do I”, replied the doctor, “My thermometer just broke in your ass.”
(Author unknown)
Preference
“Everyone has a preference and that preference makes you identifiable. I
t is that preference that separates you from other collectors that no patron,
architect, designer, curator, style, trend, interest, hobbyists or other collectors
can influence you on, when it comes to setting your own taste. Everyone has
a preference of form, subject, style, medium, shapes, colors, composition,
texture etc. All these shapes your taste.
A good friend will accept your preference whereas a bad one will consider
your preference inferior to his or hers. A preference makes you true to your
liking instead of goose hunting other people’s opinion and taste. Do not be
unduly influenced. That only happens to freshies.”
Need of Focal Point?
“Art always emphasizes on the focal point of a picture. It is that spot where your eye fixes and the whole composition grows and revolves around it. That interpreted, if art then is nature, the focal point would be the crater atop the volcano as seen on plan where everything caves in. And everything that revolves around it are just bleak terrains. Of hardened lava perhaps? Where then is the garden where a child hops around splattering their feet in the stream? Where then are the decayed logs where the mushrooms sprout? And the spiders spin their webs? Where then does the rabbit burrows? Does such formality always apply on every subject matter in art? For someone who has been dabbling in art for four decades and growing, I would say no.
If someone painted humor, that humor would be constrained if the composition is symmetrical. That turns the painting into a whimper of giggles instead of listening to a big loud roar. Why is that so? Because where the focal points are, there, symmetry would be also. Symmetry draws stiffness unless that is what is intended in your composition.
The conclusion is, subject matters will decide your composition. A good composition is about balance, not symmetry. Good artist will know when to emphasize on focal points and when it needs to disintegrate into a landscape garden. Paintings with a focal point may draw attentions better initially, but given that if you are going to live with it and face it all day long for the next five years or more, it is those without a focal point that won’t bore you. Perhaps it may also be because men are all born hunters, their affinity to nature and garden is natural indeed. That said, paintings without focal points are not necessarily bad compositions. All in all, it still depends on the context. Especially in larger sized paintings, try to compose a garden. There are lots of stories to tell in a garden and people’s eyes wander around when in a garden. That’s what makes larger paintings come alive. The experienced aficionados of art has got to agree even when the conventional audience disagree.”
Merdeka Day
“As Malaysians, we should all take stock and celebrate with pride, the love our forefathers has for the country and how the many races set aside their differences and hurdled through the many obstacles to gain independence for us, from our colonial masters, which is what ‘Merdeka Day’ or ‘Independence Day’ or ‘National Day’ is all about, call it what you will. We should all do our country a favor and stop bickering on how August the 31st is not genuinely our National Day, reason being that, that wasn’t the date Sabah, Sarawak and Singapore was co-joint to us but September the 16th is. Let us not forget that our National Day, just like in all other countries, is also a celebration of ‘Independence’ and not a celebration of our ‘founding’ whether or not we gain or lose some extra brothers or sisters prior to or after that important date.
It is but a political ploy hyped up by irresponsible parties to create unrest, hopefully to gain mileage which would then translate to votes.
As citizens we need to address this together and come to terms because this problem has been blown out of proportion, so much so that many states, in their endeavor to be politically correct has downplayed their celebration and organize something mediocre on an important day like ‘Merdeka Day’ is!
We should again start celebrating Merdeka Day on a grand scale each year on the same day our Tunku raises up his hands to shout ‘Merdeka’ seven times to rejoice our new beginning in the company of every happy citizen witnessing this feat at Merdeka Stadium in 1957.
Let us not mix up and confuse August 31st with September 16th. Not like we can’t celebrate September 16th but September 16th is not Independence Day but August 31st is.”
Save Our World
“Man cannot befriend another man even though they are just next to them. Man cannot befriend another man, not unless they recognize some similarities between them. Without the similarities, they will appear defensive and many a time, hostile, when they don’t see eye to eye with you on things that mattered. Those similarities are created, sadly, using religion, race, origin, status, and common interest as a divide. And that is really a shame.
The internet is a wonderful platform that enables humans to bind together, worldwide. That brings about huge possibilities for people across borders to befriend one another. It is an invisible bridge that connects us. They say it has become a borderless world. But the grounded reality is, even neighboring countries still stays disconnected due to strict border controls. One still needs visa approval to cross borders, passports to verify your origin and screening laws they claim protect themselves against aliens like you.
It’s a laughing shame that humans cannot accept other humans as their own. Many fail to recognize that we are of one race. The human race. They color code you, like how their forefathers color coded your ancestors and insisted you not to betray what they believed in. They teach you how to bear grudges against their enemies for another two millennium. They want you to make their enemies, your own. The impatient uses you to seek revenge promising you martyrdom .If you don’t, you’d be considered a heresy in need of deliverance. In extreme cases, they sent you straight to heaven first, with the mindset vested in them to look at you as the devil when you are all human inside. Unfortunately this divide happens all the time between believers of different denominations, sometimes between the same denomination attending different temples. Family members with different beliefs continue to stay broken. As if we don’t have another choice. Or do we?
As humans, all of us are endowed with only one brain. We can choose to think good, or we can choose to think bad. Not unless you are born a freak of course. Likewise, we have only one tongue. We can choose to speak good, or we may choose to speak bad. So indeed, we do have choices to think or express ourselves. And to look the other way when we see or hear foolishness blasting on the main media everyday. We can all react correctly if we wanted to.
On the other hand, we can choose to be affected and get distracted by all the silliness happening around the world. Still, there is instinctively a clear choice for us. Be it to think positively, or negatively, given situations that appears to be unpleasant.
My personal appeal to everyone is to try to react correctly and help save this world. Our world. If we don’t, God will come. And show us how to compromise through our shortcomings. Maybe you want that to happen. To show to your God how weak you are. Even when you are made in his image? I don’t.
Be a master of your own destiny. Be weary of those who seek similarities using religion, race, origin, creed, status, and common interest as a divide. That can unduly break up friendship, acquaintanceship, even families. Save our world.”
Uh Oh Ah
I am seriously not amused when your profile name is “Uh Oh Ah”.
As if you need to announce your peaking orgasm to me .
Don’t you know that even clowns have manners when they added newer friends?
Fart
Be more original.
Come out with better topics for discussion
that people are familiar with and can relate to such as
“Fart, its social standing in society,
awkward detection
and implication over ones health.”
Mind and our Environment
“How our mind thinks organizes our environment.
When our roads are chaotic and disorderly,
it reflects the mindset of our past leaders.
That is why you should visit the homes of people
before you deal with them.”
Alien
“As usual, Malaysians are divided over an ‘alien’ just because he shares the same religion with the majority.
If religion were to be the pride and pillar of his preaching, then he should start making sense of his patriotism and loyalty by promoting peace than risking his permanent resident status by insinuating provocatively.
And if religion were to be the pride and pillar of our country that you have to side your good brother even though he misbehaves, then be God’s good example. Forgive the rest since you allow yourself to forgive him.
It doesn’t help the country one bit by being petty as you picket with the wicked with your prick dangling outside your zip as if that has become your brain or mouthpiece or something…”
Challenging Viewers
Some simple robotics does not make an artwork be. For visual art is not rocket science neither is it magic, neither is it a stage set designed to fascinate. It is the encrusting of a submerged consciousness subtly emerging in layers. It is an inconclusive maze. It is a mixture of alchemism and personal philosophy tied to your identity and your thoughts and that is what gives it the classical flavor. It is in all sense an autobiography. Without all these, they are but picture making. Not one bit can be regarded as paintings.
From high hopes to a depressive preponderance, one does wonder if the majority pushes hard enough to challenge the viewers thoughts with a larger dosage of pragmatism and well-meaning crits and whatever that encapsulates inside the artist’s mind, can they be contextually articulated into meaningful content without the inference of showmanship, quaint theories or be set free from the wand of prying opinions. Also, will they foremost gets sucked in by the preferences and whims of the lobbyists?
Kinetic art as well as Sound art sounds fascinating but being hindered by a lack of understanding of mobility and utter reliance on the robotics knowledge of the fitter isn’t. Just as being placed side by side to an overage contestant who should be disqualified isn’t. And being stashed inside a mouse hole when directional signs are lacking isn’t. Or cramped to an awkward corner when others have miles of space isn’t. The second question then arises if some curators are sensitized to the space given, are they also trained to handle criticisms constructively?
Competition under a new government, very much like ‘old wine in new skin’ is a springboard for which many freshies tried to catwalk for the first time. Sadly, many are left with sprained ankles. Just like being cramped into shows where the obvious superstars wasn’t you. And you work is only there to enhance the superstars status. Unless you don’t mine being the casualty, that is the price one pays for being adamant to stupidity.
But did the majority push hard enough to challenge the viewers thoughts?
Look Middle East Policy?
“Look East policy is today Look Middle East policy? Surely this can’t be the education revamp for Malaysia Baru? Forcing khat writing down SRJKs throat? Blaming them for the exodus of Malay school kids from SRKs? Isn’t it clear this is a populist approach designed to enhance some incapable politicians career whilst escalating racial tensions by scapegoating the Chinese and Indians schools for teaching their own language freely? Can anyone learn khat without first knowing how to speak and write Arab? And how may I know does khat writing, quota maintaining and changing from white shoes to black helps in the development of holistic education? How?
Rest assure I am not proud to highlight this!
Never Forget You
Last weekend, my daughter and I were checking out a house she was interested in buying. When the owner came to the door, she looked at me and said, “Roger? I know you. We were good friends when we were young. I’m Rose. Don’t you recognise me?”
I drew a complete blank.
She showed me an old black and white framed picture of her when she was a teenager — still nothing.
She then went in her room, took out a shoe box full of old trinkets, flipped through them, took out an old faded b&w photo and handed it to me. At the bottom of my photo I had written, “Rose, I will never forget you.”
(Author Unknown)
Funny short jokes 2
1. What’s the difference between stress, tension and panic?
Stress is when wife is pregnant;
Tension is when girlfriend is pregnant;
Panic is when both are pregnant!
2. Grammar Teacher: Do you know the importance of a period?
Kid: Yeah, once my sister said she has missed one, my mom fainted, dad got a heart attack & our driver ran away!
3. A young boy asks his Dad: “What is the difference between confident and confidential?”
Dad says: “You are my son, I’m confident about that.
Your friend over there, is also my son, that is confidential!”
4. A bookseller conducting a market survey asked a woman,
“Which book has helped you most in your life?”
The woman replied , “My husband’s cheque book!”
5. A prospective husband in a book store:
“Do you have a book called, Husband the Master of the House? ”Sales Girl :
“Sir, Fiction and Comics are on the 1st floor!
6. Someone asked an old man : “Even after 70 years, you still call your wife “Darling, Honey, Love.” What’s the secret?”
Old man : “I forgot her name and I’m too scared to ask her!”
7. Wife : I wish I was a newspaper. So I’d be in your hands all day.
Husband : I too wish that you were a newspaper. So I could have a new one every day!
(Author Unknown)
Still inside the ditch
While riding my Harley, I swerved to avoid hitting a deer, lost control and landed in a ditch, severely banging my head.
Dazed and confused I crawled out of the ditch to the edge of the road when a shiney new convertible pulled up with a very beautiful woman who asked, “Are you okay?”
As I looked up, I noticed she was wearing a low cut blouse with cleavage to die for…
“I’m okay I think,” I replied as I pulled myself up to the side of the car to get a closer look.
She said, “Get in and I’ll take you home so I can clean and bandage that nasty scrape on your head.”
“That’s nice of you,” I answered, but I don’t think my wife will like me doing that!
“Oh, come now, I’m a nurse,” she insisted. “I need to see if you have any more scrapes and then treat them properly.”
Well, she was really pretty and very persuasive. Being sort of shaken and weak, I agreed, but repeated, “I’m sure my wife won’t like this.”
We arrived at her place which was just few miles away and, after a couple of cold beers and the bandaging, I thanked her and said, “I feel a lot better, but I know my wife is going to be really upset so I’d better go now.”
“Don’t be silly!” she said with a smile, while unbuttoning her blouse exposing the most beautiful set of boobs I’ve ever seen. “Stay for a while…
She won’t know anything. By the way, where is she?”
“Still inside the ditch with my Harley, I guess.”
(Author Unknown)
Grandma
“I have a natural fondness for my grandma. She cares for me, laughs with me, and tells me stories about her past, and about dad and his siblings. Many a night I share her bed until mom decided that children should not be sleeping with old people, as according to her traditional belief, they will suck the life energy out of the younger generations. Most of all, she makes me feel safe each time I was abused by mom for reasons unknown. Many a time, she took the beating meant for me and releases me from the toilet dungeon I was in. Once she receives a flower pot on her head trying to protect my dad against the wrath of my mom. She is my real life guardian angel. She is self sacrificing and the greatest nanny one could ever wish for. If there’s anyone whom I’d like to meet again , it is her Mdm Ooi Hoe. She deserves this tribute because I just dreamt of her. And memories came flashing back.
Love you grandma. Your sacrifices is immense. I can’t imagine how both grandpa and you could endure the rough sail hibernating in a bumboat for months to reach nanyang to find new hope for all of us.”
Of molehills and beehives
“The meaning and purpose of life become clearer when we look closer at the ants and the bees. As earthlings, we are all destined to build kingdoms just like they do, their many molehills and hives, amidst all the grandeur the kingdom of God has to offer. Except that as people, our ways are a little more complex than theirs given that we were deprived of feathers,furs and fins but was endowed with grey matters significantly larger than theirs. And we got sidetracked somehow whilst building the biggest molehill on earth, we wanted it to touch the Sky. But as the story goes, God did not allow it to happen. Anyway, so eventually, the whole world will, if fate would have it, come together as one, if all of us fight for a common good to save our planet from destruction, and build and build sensible things within and beyond. What we do with ourselves daily as we contribute to the growth is the little little rejoices and surprises we are rewarded with for efforts well spent just like the ants and the bees, occasionally stumbling upon some exotic nectar, or upsets even, as they fall into pit-holes and traps.”
Kris Lee 2019.
It’s an asshole!
A man kills a deer and takes it home to cook for dinner.
Both he and his wife decide that they won’t tell the kids what kind of meat it is, but will give them a clue and let them guess.
The kids were eager to know what the meat was on their plates, so they begged their dad for a clue.
The dad said, “Well, it’s what mummy calls me sometimes.”
The little girl screams to her brother, ” Don’t eat it!
It’s an *ass hole* ! ”
(Author Unknown)
Question of Ethics
“There are things too personal to be disposed of, not unless one is in dire straits. If an auction house values its integrity, they should be more stringent in accepting consignments, otherwise they’ll suffer the risk of being labeled a dumping ground. Sketches, prints of all types, posters, studies, generally they cluster into a special category called ephemera or paraphernalia acceptably but separately categorized inside the same catalogue. There are cases where consignors needs to force sell, and cases where auction houses are coerced to sell, but there too are situations whereby collectors scale down or inherited properties disposed of because the heir is not keen about art. But even-though so, it is the duty of responsible auction houses to advise the courts in the case of force-sell or in other cases, the would-be consignor, the fair market value of the property consigned. Fair market value is determined by the art appraiser using approved formulas. Not by the whims and calls of the consignor nor the auction house. That said, malice becomes the glaring motive when an auction house especially an experienced one being aware of the fair market value, agrees to an undervalued consignment from an experienced consignor.
Going back to the first point, the consignment is more a case of ethics than anything else but it could be better handled by the auction house otherwise misunderstanding will occur.
As for the undervalued estimates of other properties under consignment, force selling, selling off an old investment and disposing inherited properties are all acceptable reasons, very frequent appearing as ‘No Reserve’ lots, but they need to be investigated on a case by case basis by the auction house concern. Galleries and living artists are frequent victims of such irresponsible estimates.
But if a collector insists that he can do whatever he wants since he owns the artwork, or the auction house insist that they can call whatever price they want despite the resources available for reference, then it is perfectly correct to imply that their motives are intended. For the fact that every action is a manifestation of one’s intention.”
Wipers
Make me God and I shall make long eyelashes essential in my creations. For those who has them, you’d understand how it feels when it wipes the surface of your eyeglasses every now and then. Just like wipers on car screens.
Cares for looks
Some women thought that man only cares for looks. Until they were dumped years later for women whose maturity cradles his insecurity, whose humor tickles his fantasy, and whose wit conserves his legacy.
False Reasonings
“Lift off the veil and you’d see clearer. Take off your shoes and you’d understand pain. For what which has clouded you from truth and what which has protected you from thorns, is what that has basked you in comfort all this while, blinding you with false reasonings. Take them all off and wisdom shall once again, be yours”.
Taste
Taste is the ability to judge what is beautiful, good and proper. It is aesthetically driven. Not by the most exquisite of brands. But by the ability to juggle form, color, texture, patterns and space well. Not everyone has taste. That’s why brands sell.
fiveloaf 
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