So i'm back from my road trip to Philly to chill with Joe. Got to meet his friends and live in his dorms for a weekend.

It was a freaking amazing time, great beautiful city. So many hilarious shenanigans and the usual craziness.

Here is a list of things we did as far as i can remember, and i'm probably missing things:

Thursday:
Walked Drexel and Penn Campus
Got introduced to Wawa, the supermarket/sandwich shop of amazingness (got a Pita)
Saw Watchmen at the super nice theaters at Penn

Friday:
Didn't wake up or leave until hours after we had planned
Discovered the awesomeness that is food trucks with a egg/turkey/cheese on a hoagie
Franklin Science Museum (walked thru a giant heart and went to the amazing planetarium IMAX)
Wandered through key parts of Philly taking ridiculous pictures including love park, the sorry pieces, city hall, and south st
Me and joe went into a shop of the occult and got cursed (All weekend I wanted to drink a Monster, and Joe couldn't get an erection, it was a joke)
Walked through the magic gardens (beautiful recycled mosaic wonderland)
Got real philly cheesesteaks at Geno's
Free italian ice at Ritas
Got amazed when we went into a store from the street and suddenly we were in a huge mall
Went and got salsa lessons
Random Pizza
Joe's friend Jakes place for a small party
Fell asleep in their apartment watching Big Trouble in Little China after this amazingly awesome movie called Demon Knight (lazer eyeballs, thats all i've got to say)

Saturday:
Slept in later than we meant to again and then went to the Philly zoo
It was the 150th anniversary of the Zoo, saw the World Series Trophy
Random cake competition, we ate the cake
Waited in line forever for zoo starbucks... because they had breakfast
Saw MOST of the animals before it closed
I was absolutely positive that the wire around one animal's exhibit was not an electric fence, so sure that when Joe said "so touch it" i thought nothing of it and ended up getting an extremely dangerous high current/voltage shock which i felt in my chest and also wiped out my memory for 10 seconds (i had no idea what happened at first and I was just confused)
Went back to Joe's to pack up his shit so he could move out
Looked up a nice place to eat and ended up getting coconut curry chicken at a Malaysian restaurant called Penang (it was super nice and really good)
After that Joe tricked me by saying that him and his friend have an ongoing competition to see who can run across the grass in front of Independence Hall to the other side the quickest. Feeling fast and competitive I decided to empty my pockets and make the run, only to meet them on the other side later and have them disappointed that a security guard didn't tackle me for running on the grass, which is apparently what sometimes happens to people who have that prank pulled on them.
Saw the liberty bell through the window because it was nighttime by that point
Constitution center, US mint, franklin bridge, penns landing
Then we went to take the subway and stood near this crazy guy near the tracks who was screaming to nobody in particular "Say it in English, I don't want to hear it in Spanish, I want to hear it in English!! NOT SPANISH!!!" he said that about 100 times and then he started talking about the twilight zone and i considered speaking spanish or telling him that the twilight zone airs with spanish subtitles now
711 Slurpees
Another Party at Jakes, Moved Joe in there for the week
Group drunken air guitar and drumming with full chorus singalongs to popular rock hits
There til the wee hours of the morning then passed out

Sunday:
Joe's phone turned off and he missed the alarm so we slept in AGAIN and he was almost late to check out of his dorm
Went to the huge art museum without our friend mike because he took too long to get up
Took pictures with Rocky and we were too lazy from eating Philly food all weekend to run the steps like Rocky
Only payed 9 cents to see the whole art museum because it was pay what you wish day
Played on the statues across the street (joe rode the moose, and I spooned a naked statue lady with a giant snake)
Saw I Love You man at the Penn Theater, it was hilarious ... Jobin
Then I grabbed my shit and said my goodbyes and drove the three hours back to shitty binghamton to a quiet lonely house to write a paper and start the mundane stressful binghamton engineering life again (i'm jealous of everyone who gets to life like we did this weekend in college EVERYDAY, half the guys we hung out with were engineers and yet they were cool and had tons of fun)

this is actually mostly just a record for me, Joe had to recap the entire weekend for me day by day I just reworded and expounded on it because I seriously have such horrible memory that I can't remember the details of what we did, and it JUST happened so i figure I should get it down so I can remember this for times to come

Pictures that I took with my cell phone are up on facebook (my cell phone apparently actually takes really good pictures) but most of the really funny pictures with us guys in them are on somebody elses camera and I plan on tagging the crap out of them when they get uploaded :P

SO FUN... why the fuck do I have to live here? and go to this shitdump college, I really loved being myself for a weekend and being surrounded by people who'll sing and laugh along rather than just give me dirty looks and tell me i'm "acting strange" or make fun of how "white" i am whenever I exhibit any happiness. Vacation is good :-)

Bored and lonely, its 2:30 am.

I SHOULD be sleeping, instead I'm just messing around with the pedal I built and the loops in my guitar processing program, here's the product of my mood tonight, just me improvising some weird shit, because I feel weird and lost in space

http://download215.mediafire.com/gd2bm0bm2vmg/ynwymzhdzty/CreepOutEdited.wav

Last day of classes
Hours of projects, lectures and brain strain
All now blend together into utter exhaustion
As I walk through the frigid cold to the parking lot
Something makes me tilt my head up away from the icy ground
The moon is beautiful
I stop in my tracks
For a second just watch and nothing else, then
Look left
Look right
Look back and once more forward
Nobody walks tonight but me
Looking back to the moon and just like that...
It's become common
Here and now is nothing but yet another moment
With nobody to share it with, and...
It's become common

oh my, i'm in bing, my summer is over... it was amazing.

So many great memories made with my friends, we revisited our childhood and it feels good to act like a kid again, sometimes you need to just cut loose and laugh.

the final week was a great way to end my summer, i'm so glad i decided to stay in the area all the way until yesterday (sunday). Even though i didn't have any time to settle in and classes started today without even giving me a chance to adjust. I really don't feel like i'm in learning mode... i'm still stuck in summer mode and "lets just have fun, party, smoke hookah, and laugh" mode... i really didn't want to leave syracuse. The good news is i suppose living in our new place is pretty cool, only time will tell how much i'll really like it... but i'm trying to keep a positive attitude about binghamton and not just start off by saying that it will suck. My room is ridiculously small, and i have SO much stuff, it was difficult but i managed to somehow fit everything in here and be very conservative with my space... its really cramped but its the best i can do.

I didn't eat a single thing at all for the entire day yesterday, and for the very first time in my life i actually noticed a significant body change. Usually my metabolism is so fast that i've never seen my weight fluxuate in any way... i could eat a little, or eat a ton, and i'll just look exactly the same all the time. Well everyone in bing is telling me that apparently i'm taller (which i don't get how that can be) and that i look like i lost weight... and gained muscle (which is scary cuz i didn't mean to lose weight... i was skinny enough as it was). But this is entirely different, after not eating at all yesterday i was actually shocked to see that i had become noticeable thinner... my abdomen was so flat and tight that it shocked me (and i honestly didn't even know i could possibly have a smaller stomach or more abs than i already did, so i was surprised). I think i made up for it today since all i ate was chocolate donuts for breakfast, and a chicken sandwich and fries for lunch, haha.

and now i'm going to jump ships and kinda just convert my daydreams into text, not that anyone wants to read it:

so 10 months ago Greg became single, he's been that way ever since. Greg realizes he had very few friends in binghamton since he spent his whole first year with a girl and never bothered to try and make friends. Before then, he hadn't been single for more than a couple of weeks in like 2 years. So naturally he suffered from withdrawl without any companionship and slowly start to go insane. Then as a result of really having nowhere to go Greg developed what he thought was a justified crush on a friend of his, but it was really just him being stupid and hating being single. He proceeded to become more crazy, got drunk alot, said so many stupid things, and just completely ruined how everyone viewed him after that... Greg became known as pathetic. So he just waited for summer to come. Then one day as he was just coasting along thru finals week waiting to get out of there, after losing all hope, he meets this girl, had it not been the worst timing ever, he may have had an interest in pursuing something, but the semester was over and he was going home the next day, so he did nothing. and summer started finally, and he re-united with his real friends from home. Almost instantly he was back to himself and having a good time, and better yet, over his stupid shit from binghamton, and dealing much better with his hate of being alone. Then Greg meets a girl in syracuse, is almost immediately attracted to her character and eventually the end of summer comes and the night before leaving for bing, there is some spark, but it doesn't get a chance to ignite any further, just remains a spark once the night ends, he sleeps returns to binghamton, and daydreams constantly, not prepared to get down to business and do all this learning stuff... just kinda sick of having his best moments at the most inconvenient times. ja;lwjrk;alsvmgwerpqewrito/;dlmv.zx,vdf

I read livejournal's everyday but somehow always forget that I TOO have one. Have i even updated this summer?

so far things haven't felt much like summer, just cuz i haven't been outside much in fact I've gotten NO sun.

I've been working out like crazy, every single weekday i work out, monday, wednesday, friday is arms/chest/abs and tuesday and thursday its legs/abs. So as i work so hard to improve my body... i'm still COMPLETELY white, its disgusting, i would gladly not be white if i could haha..

Although i haven't been outside much (during the day at least) I still have been doing alot of stuff, plans all weekend every weekend, lots of cool people to hang out with. I really like syracuse, i can get along with people so well, not one person seems to think I'm an asshole or annoying or any of that bullshit i was getting in binghamton. Its pretty great to have real friends and real conversations and real genuine laughter and fun, i'm pretty happy about that.

I'm also meeting tons of people that either have been going to binghamton and i didn't even know it, or are transferring there next semester and I'm surprised because i didn't think anyone from my area, especially from CNS went to bing. So maybe I can find some of them while i'm there and get a more homely vibe from bing.

in other news work is good, thats about all i can say about that without violating government protocols :P

I'm selling the most beautiful thing i've ever called mine http://cgi.ebay.com/ws/eBayISAPI.dll?ViewItem&ssPageName=STRK:MESELX:IT&item=300237054543

thats right the beast must go... sadly, its a beautiful piece of art but its not what i want out of a guitar... and in the end its playability and in my case portability that matters.. and frankly the beast is... well huge and hard to carry around and fit in my car everytime i travel between homes.

aww both my ferrets are all curled up just looking at me :P

I started playing DDR again... apparently i'm still good at it, even though i haven't played in more than half a year.

oh and i rode a bike last nite, haven't done that it two years, also great

and I wandered around bridgeport with a friend, and I've been seeing so many people from high school and talking to them, some of them i never was even friends with in high school and seems like we can all just talk to each other now with that one thing in common. So basically i'm living in a retro experience and its pretty awesome, i miss the old days... so if i can still feel like i'm there every once in awhile i can be grateful for that.

ok, time to go skate (yeah... thats right.. i'm 16 again, WOOO!!!!)

:)

is really not that professional, i can come and go to work as i please, do what i feel like doing at my desk when i feel so inclined... really nobody watching over my shoulder to baby me or hold my hand. In fact currently I'm writting a piece of software which will become an integral component in a much larger piece of software for a very important system that will affect whether or not people's lives will be saved. And i'm doing that by myself, at my own pace, with little to no supervision, it feels good to just get a creative energy going and teach yourself new things, and come up with an idea that excites even the most veteran programmers you work with into having confidence in you, even though you are only an intern (thats why the handed the whole part of the project to me after i showed them my prototype).

So i've been working Mon-Fri, working out every single day after work, trying to sell my guitars and my laptops (all of which are not selling at all), and getting out with friends on the weekends. In other words i actually sort of have a life! Its rather enjoyeable, for the most part relaxing, it feels good... i feel like i have very little on my shoulders. Work is no big deal because i enjoy it, i get to spend my day learning, apply it immediately, at my own pace, and i don't have to take a test after... I love to learn, and this is the best way to do it in my opinion. I may not have a ton of friends anymore here in syracuse, but the few i do i really enjoy and they are probably the best friends i have anywhere. the working out is satisfying too, i love the feeling where you work your body to the very edge of being ill and you can't even move without falling over that edge. It just feels great to be in shape and i know its a huge deal these days to have a negative self image and never feel satisfied with what you've got to show, but i can honestly say i've got absolutely no problem with how i look, hey... i'd fuck me. And i hate how since everyone else hates how they look if one person does truly like how they look its considered cocky, i wouldn't accuse anyone who is happy with themselves of having a big ego... i wish more people could be happy with themselves because i've known my fair share of people who weren't happy with themselves even though they had alot going for them, and i could imagine many people could easily be happy with THEM.

in other not-so-news, apparently i still throw off that opinionated jerk vibe. A person i hardly know on a personal level at all was quick to point out the very same thing that many people in binghamton who DID know me on a personal level were all hating me for. they said ALL the same exact things.... practically in the same order, it was if they'd just read it off a post-it which is stuck to my forehead:
Opinionated
Stubborn
Loud
Obnoxious
Annoying
Offensive

figures, i've developed such an unbearable character that i can't even meet new people without them being able to classify me in 10 minutes.
it's not something i worry about so much here, because i do have my few friends who reassure me I am not those things and that I haven't changed all that much in their opinions, and they still think of me as a friend and so i'm grateful for that, plus I've got alot of other things here to do and keep busy with. Living with a family of four in a house with 2 bedrooms makes it so i really don't ever have a moment alone, and although the company isn't great, it is true that i don't like to be alone, and so that does wonders for my outlook, i don't have all this time to sit at a computer alone and think about all these things (the only reason i'm writing now is that every once in awhile i feel like it might be nice to someone out there to here how i'm doing, i haven't got a sure feeling that it is that way, but the possibility is enough for me to spare a moment every now and then and let my fingers fly.

i actually spend no time at the computer anymore... this is the longest i've been on my computer in 2 weeks, just typing this entry. It's mostly because its muggy and warm and it smells like ferret poo (ferret cage is right behind me... and i mean RIGHT there, if i move back an inch i'll run into it) and worst of all is that my computer desk is literally a piece of wood inside a closet. On my left is another computer desk, if i move my left elbow 8 inches i'll hit it. On my right is a wall, if i move my right elbow 10 inches i'll hit it. My desk is super tiny... and like i said... in a closet, and behind me a ferret cage... 0 inches to move. So if you didn't know this already... i'm mildly claustrophobic... and well you can imagine how sitting at my computer feels after about ten minutes (and trying to play guitar is.... well its actually more of an art finding a way to sit and hold the guitar without it hitting anything than actually playing it is)

getting out of my hole and chugging kool-aid now, my weekend is relatively free with the exception of some day errands, til next time, kawoooosh

i miss the past

i miss...
high school, where i was surrounded by people i could relate to.
the teen center, where i was surrounded by people who loved me.
i was an individual and people loved that i was who i was, and wouldn't ask me to change.

and my friends were individuals, and i loved them each for different reasons, but i was happy.

i used to come home with a smile on my face just because i had a good day laughing and goofing off with my friends.

a good day...

i can't even comprehend a good day now.

i don't even remember the last time i fell asleep thinking about what a great day i had, with a smile on my face, and excitement to do it all over again the next day.

holy hell i don't even really feel anymore, its sick

the people i knew in syracuse were amazing and i took it for granted that people like that existed all around me. I never would have imagined that going to a different town in the same state would take me so far away from the kinds of people i feel at home with.

today i felt a part of my old self shining through, as i found it in me to actually want to listen to someone else, and as i found a smile forming on my face as i heard how well a friend of mine was doing. That old familiar feeling of overwhelming empathy, where my own emotions can actually be altered just by knowing how a good friend is feeling. That is how i used to care for people, but it's changed so much, and so i realize now that more than anything else... i miss who i used to be. it just took a friend to bring it out of me.... and thats what i'm missing here... a friend.

uhh so it's been a while. Last i wrote was before the foo fighters show... i'll start with that.

Twas pretty kickass, got to work along side the foo fighters stage crew the whole time. Set up some HUGE lights and 4 video screens and did a whole shitload more. The show was kickass, i had the best seats in the house (inside the barricade with the sound and light operators with a clear unobstructed view of the stage head on. Walked backstage right by Serj Tankian before his band went on to play. Also walked right by the foo fighters room in the back halls of the event center and saw them all. I'm not much of a famous people person... i don't really idolize people so i wasn't as enthralled to be seeing these guys as others were, but some people thought it was pretty cool that i saw them so i figured i'd mention it.

after that is a blur and i have no concept of what happened when, but there were parties that ended in disappointment, a sudden week of extreme busy-ness, horrible experiences with C code, an 11 hour gig last nite that left me pretty exhausted and nobody was around afterwards (at 1am) to do anything. today i drove some peeps to downtown and we walked around and did random shit and then went to walmart (woohoo...) and then pretty much just sat around and were bums and watched movies and i passed up a party (for the first time this semester) because they've all been ending the same way for me... i sober up before anything good ever gets a chance to happen, i leave disappointed that i didn't meet ANY attractive girls, then i find out all the good things happened right after i left, and i go home and sleep in my empty bed in my empty room (like every night).

so i'm very active lately, been doings lots of lifting at work, plus i've been doing gymnastics everytime since the first meet, i'm learning some new stuff (latest is a back tuck, or a backflip from standing position basically). I bloodied up my face practicing those on the trampoline last time, pretty much got really tired from doing them and got lazy on one of them and didn't flip all the way and landed on my face and got trampoline burn on the top of my nose. Now that its trying to heal up it looks like an upside down horseshoe on my nose, i hope it doesn't scar, other than that i don't give a shit. My plan is to head straight for the trampoline next time and pick up where i left off, gotta get back on the horse when it bucks you.

most of my entries are friends only lately, not that it matters, hardly anyone reads this but its just a safeguard i suppose.

i'd really enjoy someone to fall asleep with and hold on to lately, its really irksome. I simply hate sleeping alone every night, and the roommate's pretty much always gone every night so its just a quiet dark empty room and no matter how much i do it i can never get used to being that alone.

i hate things that are complicated... i wish certain things would just be clear as day and there were no obstructions to the things we wanted. After awhile these things have a way of creeping in under my skin and i feel like i'm just being taunted and teased.

and another thing, its not my fault that i am not attracted to alot of the people in binghamton... i feel like everyone thinks i'm such a close-minded person but i have preferences and standards as everyone does and i don't believe in screwing around with people who i'm never going to really be into.

people make it seem so simple and give me suggestions like oh maybe you should just do this or that... i wish everyone could think the way i do for once or at least be a friend enough to listen just long enough to actually take in what i'm saying and understand it. anytime i ever have to explain something that i believe or a way i think (which i shouldn't have to explain at all but people can't leave me alone and not pick me apart all the time) it's like i'm being drilled, everyone knows exactly how i should think and aren't afraid to tell me so, i'm just simply not allowed to have those thoughts and also have respect, i'm sick of the lack of respect, show me a real friend and i'll bet your pointing 90 miles north of Binghamton.

i have my car, i enjoy driving, sometimes i just think about driving home on the weekend and spending the time with my pets. I miss indy and the ferrets so much. Animals were always my best friends because they are eternally loyal and its unconditional, find me that in a human and i'd be pretty damn surprised. Yeah my faith in humanity is that diminished, everyone keeps telling me i'm cynical and pessimistic, but then again, everyone keeps telling me alot of things and frankly i'm sick of listening when nobodies got anything good to say about me.

WOOT!

I got a call today, and Sensis has extended me a job offer
$15/hour - Full Time, All Summer, Paid Holidays, 401K, the works
In the Defense & Security Systems department at Collamer (the location thats really close to where i live)


Go me... I celebrated with a 5 minute victory dance by myself after i got the call, it was quite liberating.


Tomorrow is the Foo Fighters concert. I'm skipping my two classes and working production for the entire show. Means i'll be helping set up the sound system and whatnot before the show, then helping out backstage for the duration of the actual show most likely. Should be fun!

In other news I joined the gymnastics club, i've gone for 4 hours worth of gym time so far. It's been fun, I'm actually quite motivated about getting in shape now, it feels good to be sore each day. Plus i get to flip around on trampolines and practice with lots of cool people that i've met. Eventually they are going to make me cough up a membership fee, but i'm just going to hide in the shadows as long as i can before they do that.

Things are looking up in just about every area except the fact that i'm still not getting any :P Granted i haven't tried, but there's just nothing on the local market i'm interested in.

Til next time!

so it would seem as if i'm finally getting a good semester here as far as classes/academics go.

so far the first professor i met for Data Structures & Algorithms is a retired Lockheed Martin engineer, AND as a bonus, he uses linux (ubuntu). He asked everybody who used linux to raise their hand (and about four of us including me in a rather large class raised our hands) and then he said, for the rest of you, i highly suggest you dump windows and switch to linux, it's stupid not to. That gave him extra points in my book.

the second professor was for Computer Organization & Microprocessors and he runs linux (also ubuntu) as well! And whats cooler is that he runs it on a tablet PC. Even better is that he is apparently writting a textbook for that classroom, but its a work in progress, therefore we haven't got to buy a book, he is just letting us have copies of it online chapter by chapter as he writes them.

the third and final professor that i met today was in Electrical Circuits and he does not use linux, but he does use a tablet PC which is helpful and nice for presenting his lecture. But what he lacks in operating system he makes up for in everything else. This particular class's lecture meets monday, wednesday, and friday, from 4:40-5:40pm, which sux because thats a horrible time to have your last class on a friday. Well one of the first things he says to us is that he doesn't want to come in that late on friday's any more than we do... and therefore he wouldn't ever be having a friday lecture! So i just opened my schedule and put a huge X thru that class and now on Fridays my last class ends at 11:50am! Sweet! He said he will instead be posting a video lecture online that we may watch whenever we please before the next Monday's lecture, i can definitely deal with that, thats awesome. If that wasn't awesome enough.... there is MORE. He then randomly mentions that one thing we should know about him is that he's a guitar player, and that 50% of his brain is dedicated to thinking about guitars. I was only half paying attention but when i suddenly started hearing the magic word "guitar" being thrown around i payed attention quick! I was like "holy shit this guy rocks!" On his webpage he has links to cool electrical circuit stuff related to guitar impedance pedals and shit like that, AND he said that during the course he was going to link many electrical circuit concepts to electric guitars and pedals and stuff, and i was thinking "are you kiddding... i couldn't ask for a more personalized course, he's going to take something i wouldn't normally have fun learning about and put it in the context of guitars! How sweet is that, if only every course catered to my interests like that, haha.

So i only have one more class that i haven't yet gone to, thats tomorrow, and its also my only class tomorrow since my lab is not meeting this week. That class is Probabilistic Systems I, and it sounds boring but we'll see how the professor is. Overall, the three classes i've gone to so far have decent professors, and i don't even have to buy ANY textbooks so far, plus they just seem like interesting classes. So far i'm pretty psyched about this semester, next thing you know i'll meet a whole group of cool people and some awesome girls, and i'll join a band and win the lotto and all kinds of other lucky stuff (wishful thinking)

til next time *woosh*