Tag Archives: communication

2025 Reflections

Posted on May 2, 2025 | 9 comments

I have one of those addictive personalities.  I have to complete things I start!  Me and online games are like an alcoholic in a liquor store.  (NOT a good thing).  Back before the challenge I was hooked on this new game I downloaded on my phone.  Whiteout Survival.  (Maybe you’ve heard of it).  Well, it really is a cool game and a ton of fun.  But all good things come to an end and after a while the game started to be more like a job than a game.  There were politics of who you could and could not attack and when you could do it.  We had to complete certain tasks and do this or do that and it was not fun anymore so I deleted it. All that to bring me to my reflections on this year’s A-Z Challenge.  Blogging for me is fun and a hobby.  I don’t get paid for it and it’s not my job.

(I know I’ve posted this before but it’s worth repeating).We tend to follow blogs we are familiar and comfortable with. When visiting new blogs if it takes too much time to find the post or the beginning of the challenge, I leave.  If I can’t find out how to comment, I’m probably not going to spend time visiting again.  If I have to create a username or an account on that platform, forget it. (Sorry, I’m not doing that.)

Time is precious. We all want to make our minutes count. Once they are gone we can’t get them back. I know I am going to use my minutes on something I enjoy. If reading and commenting on a new blog is more like work than a hobby or enjoyment, I’m not going to do it.

If you want to catch up or you missed any of my A-Z posts here’s the quick links so you don’t have to go scrolling.  This is a pretty cool thing and I highly recommend doing it.  I love it when other bloggers do this because it helps me to “catch up”.

Armageddon Accountability  –  Broken – Character Building – Defer to Differ – Engage – Faithfully Fight Forever – Green Eyed Monster –Harbinger –Interpretation Impacts Others – Judgment – Kitschy vs. Knowledge – Listen Mentor – Nobody Noble –Obstacles = Opportunities –Philippians 4:6-7 –Quixotic – Reality Check –Sunshine me a Sonnet –Trellis –Unicorns –Vapor – Wisdom Welcomes Problems –Xenophile –Yellow Dot –Zapped

Usually I add links of fellow bloggers in my reflections post but I really did not have the time to visit too many so I don’t think it’s right to give shout outs.  However if you check out my N Post I did do some name dropping.  I’m hoping to be-bop around through the road trip however, I’m not going to sign up because it’s not fair to others.  I like to think that I can still do all the writing and reading that I used to do but as I have said before work really cuts into my fun stuff. Retirement will help I’m sure if that ever happens.

Questions from the A2Z Reflections Post:

  • Did you finish the challenge? Yes, see the badge?
  • What was your favorite post to write? Y- Yellow Dot
  • What was your favorite comment posted by another A-Z participant on your blog this April? I really don’t have a favorite but I was happy to learn a new word from my fellow blogger Donna who used curmudgeonly in a comment on Reality Check.
  • Did you follow the A-Z team on social media? (Who and where?)Not this year, although I used to follow Tamara on FB.
  • Did you follow the A-Z Challenge on social media? (Which platforms?)No but I shared mine on my Facebook page
  • Did you feel supported by the A-Z team? (The Team: Arlee Bird, J Lenni Dorner, Zalka Csenge Virág, John Holton, Jayden R Vincente, and Ronel Janse van Vuuren.) Yes
  • Did you like the graphics for this year? Yes very cool
  • Did you like the A-Z blog’s theme? Yes
  • Did you encourage other bloggers to take part in the challenge this year? Yes I talked my friend Nen into participating, and I was hoping she was going to use her talent at sharing artwork but maybe she will do that next year.
  • Did you have a theme on your blog? If so, how did you come up with it? Yes, Empathy was my theme because I wanted to learn how to be more empathetic.
  • Did you learn anything new because of the A-Z Challenge? Yes I learned empathy comes from experience, you can’t fake it or pretend that you have it, because it’s just rhetoric if it’s not real.
  • Will you consider doing the challenge again next year? Absolutely and I wish we didn’t have to wait a whole year…. maybe we should have one every six months?

That’s my reflection. I love this challenge because it gets me writing again and I need to do it more often so I’m really gonna try to do something maybe once a week…anything and I’m sure something will come to mind.  I appreciate each and everyone who joined me in my A-Z’s of Empathy and I’m telling you right now, next year, God willing, its gonna be something way more fun.

Cheers,

 

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Zapped

Posted on April 30, 2025 | 4 comments

If it wasn’t for my choosing the A-Z’s of Empathy as my theme this year, I would have been all over writing about Zinfandel and Zig-Zags, or maybe even zebras and Zarex.  I don’t know why but I feel like I’m in the Batman and Robin cartoon I’m at the KAPOW! ZOC! Or ZAP! Out of the cartoon and back to reality.  I know you remember what I’m talking about!

I’ve been zealous about this challenge and have completed each letter with zeal (well all except for the Unicorn, I did cheat there). This month flew by so fast and I have been in this weird blogging zone.  I did not have time to write letters to my non-blogging friends.  But I kind of feel disappointed because I came to realize that if I’m not reaching out to them, they’re not reaching out to me.  It all goes back to if you want to have a friend, you gotta be a friend, right?  Which brings me to my final word of the A-Z of Empathy: Zapped!

Have you ever heard the zzzzt, zzzzt, sound of bugs in a bug light getting zapped?  That’s kind of what I feel like as I contemplate my last post. I’m zapped back into reality of the daily routine now that the challenge is over. I should say I’m very candid when I express my opinions and thoughts on topics.  I don’t sugarcoat realism and say that it’s going to be a picnic if it’s an execution. Most times that truth hurts. Say what you mean and mean what you say, right?

My mailbox was a big disappointment this month (with the exception of the surprise early birthday present from Auntie Margie). Tall Cool ☺ne reminds me all the time that it’s not others or letters from friends that give us self-esteem. He’s right but I like my mail, (sometimes so much that I order stuff from Amazon just so I can get mail.) Self-esteem comes from within, personal achievements, past experience, how we deal in relationships with others. The more we understand ourselves and our own feelings the better we can relate to others. Building empathy is a skill, not a trait we either have or don’t—it grows with awareness and practice. In conclusion, there are three basic types of empathy:

Cognitive empathy – Understanding what someone else is thinking or feeling intellectually (putting yourself in their shoes).

Emotional empathy – Actually feeling the emotions that another person is experiencing, almost as if their emotions are contagious.

Compassionate empathy – Going beyond understanding and feeling, and taking action to help or support the other person.

Hope you enjoyed this journey through the A-Z’s of Empathy and maybe you have been zapped into looking at things from another perspective.  Have you ever been zapped by a response or maybe a non-response from someone who was delivering empathy? Have you ever zapped someone?

Cheers,

 

☺

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Xenophile = Barbara

Posted on April 28, 2025 | 8 comments

Looking for words that start with X is always a chore for me during this challenge. Usually I cheat and do some sort of X marks the spot kind of adventure.  Today I dug out my trusty old Webster’s Dictionary and found that there are about 120 common words that begin with X.  The Oxford dictionary currently has 400.  Mindless useless information unless you are working on the X post for the A-Z blogging challenge.

This was definitely going to be a chore for me because this A-Z of Empathy that I chose for my A-Z theme has been somewhat of a struggle for me already.  I’m tired of empathy and I simply want to be done and write about puppies and rainbows and beer and skittles.  But then PTL! (Someone used that in a chat with me the other day and I had to ask them what it meant because I’m terrible at acronyms!)  The word was laid out in front of me almost on a silver platter.

Xenophile is someone who is attracted to foreign people, places and customs ~ isn’t that what empathy is all about?  Experiencing what someone else is living.

I may not eat some of the snacks of other countries and I’m probably not going to agree with the some of the punishments either, but because the punishment and the rules for certain crimes are different in our country, doesn’t mean it is the same in others.  This has been that way for thousands of years and the United States is not going to change it.  (Maybe other countries don’t want to be changed).  We can learn about it and we should respect it. Xenophile is how empathy should be.  We put ourselves in their place but it doesn’t mean the way we feel about a certain situation is the going to be the same way that person feels.  Love to learn it, try to understand it, but don’t try to change someone’s way of thinking to our way of thinking.

The even more interesting part about this word that I found, is that God even invites us into this.  Ephesians 2:19: “Now therefore you are no longer strangers and foreigners but fellow citizens with the saints and members of the household of God.” I know, it’s deep isn’t it?   You know another interesting concept of the word Xenophile? The name Barbara, of Greek origin, means “stranger” or “foreign”. It derives from the Greek word barbaros, which was used by the ancient Greeks to refer to people who were not Greek.

Have you ever looked your name up to see what it means?  Does it match your personality? Do you ever empathize with someone but not actually feel how they feel? (How can we know exactly what they feel?  Everyone is different.)

Cheers ☺

   

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Wisdom Welcomes Problems

Posted on April 26, 2025 | 2 comments

 

Have you ever put a puzzle together?  Solved Rubiks’ cube? Have you completed a crossword puzzle?  Gained access to the next level of a video game?  Of course you have, we’ve all succeeded at some kind of challenge, right?

Every year I’ve been planting dill in my spice garden only to have a few sprigs come up randomly all over the place, never in the row that I plant the seeds.  Super frustrating.  I blamed the birds, the rain, and the wind. Before planting, I said to the packet of dill seeds, “You are gonna grow in two neat little rows this year!” I lined the garden with two rows of toilet paper, sprinkled the seeds over the top and covered with another row of paper and top soil. Watered and waited. There are two neat rows of dill sprouting from the garden.  Problem solved.

Fear of the Lord is the foundation of wisdom.  That’s the message Tall Cool ☺ne’s mother wrote in the bible she gave me back in 2008.  I didn’t know the depth of its meaning back then. In fact I even wondered why anyone would fear the Lord.  God is good, why should we be afraid of Him? A wise man will hear and increase learning. Wisdom involves a change of behavior.  Change of behavior involves experience.  No one ever finishes wisdom, there’s always more to learn. The more we change, the more experience we receive and the better equipped we are to handle situations. Problems can be a ladder enabling us to climb up and see things from a different perspective.  Today’s A-Z of Empathy welcomes problems to gain wisdom and change perspective. The challenge encourages growth.

What challenges have you gained wisdom from?

Cheers,

   

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Trellis

Posted on April 23, 2025 | 2 comments

Since spring has sprung, Tall Cool ☺ne and I have been working on a lot of outside projects. We started building a “potting shed” two years ago and it’s really coming together this year.  There’s an outside sink and plenty of counter space for transplanting flowers, a peg board with all the tools for what we need and just under cover space for whatever other outside projects that we find to busy ourselves with. We’ve nicknamed the potting shed “Upta Camp” because that’s what it’s kind like,  Although it has a dirt floor, and the lawn mower and rotor tiller are parked in it, I found myself being careful not to spill potting soil when I was doing a transplant the other day.  Isn’t that funny?

We have a few different trellis systems in the yard.  A small trellis for the rose bushes that grow behind the shed.  There is a wooden lattice trellis to block some tires in the back yard that is actually a shooting backstop. A fence trellis in the front yard holds the passion flower vine that is fresh with new blooms, although, as you can see above, it’s somewhat overtaking the fence.  Even a tree masquerading as a climbing trellis for a creeping vine. The vine was over-powering the tree so much we were concerned it would kill it, so we had to remove the vine from the tree and relocate it to another place.  The relocated vine is struggling some, but I think it will be okay.  I’m hoping it will eventually cover up those tires. (Harvey Town)!

All that to bring me to the T post of the day.  Trellis: a frame of latticework used as a screen or as support for climbing plants.  Each one of us is like a climbing plant.  We strive to grow and as we grow we need a balustrade of sorts to support us along the way. Some people are content with a little handrail while others are unfulfilled unless they have a huge network of support. Every person is different.

In my A-Z empathy journey I’ve come to realize empathy is not just to be used when someone is going through a hard or bad time.  Empathy can be sharing in joy with someone too.

“You got a new car, Wow!  Congratulations, good for you!”  “You got the promotion at work?  Excellent, I always knew you were the best person for the job!”

Sometimes we are the trellis for others and sometimes others are the trellis for us.  When this post came to mind, I was starting to feel like the tree with the vine growing all over it, sucking the life out of me.  Lucky for me I was able to recognize that I need support too and even though my banister is lacking right now, I can always go to the ladder of Jacob for help. Matthew 11:30 For my yoke is easy and my burden is light. 

Who do you need to be a trellis for today?  Who has been your trellis lately who you can thank? Support your trellis, but let your trellis support you too.

Cheers,

 

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Quixotic

Posted on April 19, 2025 | 2 comments

 

With only ten more posts to do for the A-Z’s of empathy I’m finding myself struggling with not repeating what I’ve already expounded on with empathy. It all seemed like a good idea at first and I have to admit I have learned a lot about myself about how and when I deliver empathy.  I have even caught myself a few times where I had to pause, ponder and ~dang pen ink ran out.  I had to rethink my responses.

If we have that fellow feeling with another person we can relate to what they are experiencing, but without that understanding and identity knowing what to say or how to respond is vain. Sometimes I set myself up for failure. Okay not sometimes, most times.  I make lists every day and never finish them.  I set goals that are impossible to achieve (in my mind it’s to challenge myself because when I have a goal I struggle to accomplish, it makes me look into ways to become better to succeed).  I know, I’m weird.  Maybe this A-Z of empathy I endeavor to persevere should be regarded as quixotic.  What do you think?  I leave you with a little Gordon Lightfoot.

Cheers,

   

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Philippians 4:6-7

Posted on April 18, 2025 | 6 comments

Today I really wanted to write about Penny.  She is my sister whom I have had no contact with since 2014. We had a falling out, words were said and since then my attempts (more than I can count) to reconcile have been futile. Tall Cool ☺ne says, “Don’t cast your pearls…” and my mother says, “she’ll probably never talk to you again…”  Encouraging, aren’t they?

I know I should just let it go; why is reconciliation so important? I think of her as my family bond, the person I used to take baths with when I was 5, my sister who I should be able to share all my hopes, my dreams, and my secrets with. We’re supposed to take trails down memory lane and be there for each other through triumphs and failures.

Most times what we want and what we get are completely different things. Not always bad and not always good, but different than what we expect.  Jesus went to the Cross, yet before that He went to the garden and prayed to His Father “…the cup to be taken away from Him…” but ultimately it was God’s will, not His.

We can’t predict the future.  We can’t purge the world from all the evil and corrupt things that happen.  People will pretend to be something they are not. Politics will continue to cause war and discontent between nations and countries.  Families will argue and feud like the Hatfields and McCoys (and it will probably be as stupid as over a pig).  Yet all these things will come to pass.

I know you are wondering what the heck does any of this have to do with empathy.  Everything.  The next time an opportunity arises to deliver empathy, first pause, second pray, third ponder:

Philippians 4:6-7 be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication, with thanksgiving let your requests be known to God and the peace of God which suppresses all understanding will guard your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus.

I have a peace about my sister. One day when she’s ready I will be here for her.

Have you ever wanted one thing and received something different?  How did you react to that?

Cheers,

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Obstacles = Opportunities

Posted on April 17, 2025 | 2 comments

I have to say instead of writing a blog this morning I wrote in my journal after I had my Bible Study.  Bible study always comes first before anything else and this morning I struggled with a verse and I couldn’t let it go until I understood it.  Ever have a time when you read something and it just doesn’t make any sense at all?  So I wrote in my journal until it finally made sense to me and needless to say, it was time to go walk and no time to write.  Then, when I was trying to explain why I couldn’t understand it to Tall Cool ☺ne, he told me I had a carnival going on in my head.

Quick story to explain what he means by that.  We recently got rain barrels to help with keeping the garden and flowers hydrated without draining the well.  There was an obstacle filling the watering cans.  Water jugs didn’t fit under the spigot. Tall Cool ☺ne is so smart.  He just took an old hose, cut and hooked it to the first rain barrel, and voila, the water goes into watering can without issue.  I asked why he hooked it to the first one and not the second one.  When the rain comes out of the gutter it pours into the first rain barrel and then there is a hose on the back that drains into the second barrel. He looked at me like I had three heads and asked, “What are you talking about?”  I was thinking rotation and use the old first.  He said, “You have too many things going on in that head of yours. It is water and rain barrels, let me worry about where the water goes.”  Okay, but it totally made sense to me.

Obstacles equal opportunities.  The rain barrel is just an example and that really has nothing to do with empathy.  But I look back at obstacles that I thought were preventing me from doing something when in fact they were there to help me learn something. Those experiences can be used to share with others when they need help or examples.

My obstacle today caused me not to do so well in surveys at work.  We earn part of our salary based on a percentage of good surveys.  A lot of times it is something we have no control over; system issues, people don’t understand the survey system: 1 is bad and 10 is good.  Reading is fundamental and some people don’t read.  Most times it’s lack of empathy, or at least that’s what they tell me. Sometimes I just don’t have it in me. But I can tell you what my going forward plan is …. not only will I consider getting up at 3AM instead of 3:20 but something I hate, but I like my bigger paychecks, so more empathy work templates it is.  I will try my hardest not to have that obstacle again.

What kind of obstacles have you faced that can be used as opportunities?

Cheers,

   

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Nobody Noble

Posted on April 16, 2025 | 9 comments

As I’m reflecting on the past posts of my A-Z Empathy theme and I’m reading comments from faithful followers and bloggers, I’m grateful to have this opportunity to share my words.  But today I’m stuck with how to explain empathy.  Who am I to write about empathy?  Who am I to explain how to be empathetic?  We live in a time where want and desire has replaced need.  We think we need things and then we justify it by explaining it is to make us more efficient, to make us more productive, and to make us better at what we do. When it all comes down to it, it’s to make us more comfortable.  Am I right?

I think I need a new laptop.  The one I have is more than 10 years old and there is this round black dot about the size of a silver dollar in the upper left hand corner of the screen (I don’t know what caused it).  But I have to minimize my documents and web pages in order to get to the file tab.  It’s annoying and cumbersome but I deal with it.  You would think I would give in and just buy a new one, but I don’t for a couple of different reasons.  1. I’m cheap and I don’t want to spend the money on a laptop when I can work around the issue of the one I have, and 2. New means change and I’m not ready for learning the “ins and outs” of a new computer…I’m used to this one.

This brings me to where I am with today’s post.  Sometimes I think I know the “what about” and the “why behind” the things others are going through.  Sometimes I think I can understand when I really can’t.  I’m nobody noble.  I’m here to be your friend, your mentor, your harbinger.

I know it’s not much of a post today so maybe you want to hop on over to some of the other participants in the A-Z blogging challenge.

My friend who is joining in the challenge for the first time.  Everyone loves a smile and some I’ve yet to visit and some I definitely want to get caught up on. Our founder of the challenge , our graphics queen, our spreadsheet guru. Faithful followers who visit and comment even when I don’t visit back. Some fun blogs that just make me giggle any time I visit. Ever read a good book?

Cheers,

         

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Mentor

Posted on April 15, 2025 | 2 comments

Happy Tax Day to the people of the United States.  A day a lot of people dread and others look forward to. I guess the ones who look forward to it don’t wait until the 15th, they file as soon as the w-2 forms come in so they can get that money fast. I’ve been on both sides and I’ve yet to figure out that happy medium where the taxes come out even and there is nothing owed and nothing returned.

In my younger years there was a time where I listened to unsound council who told me “we  don’t need to pay taxes”.  There was another advisor who said “Don’t ever mess with the IRS. Always pay your taxes.”  About ten years after listening to the unsound council I learned a hard lesson about what can happen when the IRS is not paid.  Wages were garnished, bank accounts froze, and it was a complete mess.

Today’s empathy word is mentor. A mentor is a wise and trusted advisor.  Someone who will come along side of you and knows what you are about to experience.  I’ve had mentors and I’ve been a mentor.  Being a mentor, for me, taught me more than I thought I knew.  I like to think I’m still a mentor to my children.  Sometimes I try to mentor my mother, but she’s a little stubborn … okay, she’s a lot stubborn.

Mentors are important because they help guide where one struggles. Tall Cool ☺ne guides me with things I beat myself up over. Like not being able to get a post done before walking or being too tired to wash the dinner dishes.  He reminds me that we can only do what we can do.  One thing at a time and it will all come together when it is supposed to.  He is my hero and mentor guiding me with things I struggle with.

There are good and bad mentors.  There are the ones who truly have the interest of others at heart and then there are the ones who just want to toot their own horn, so to say.  I’ve been in both of these places so I’m very good a recognizing both aspects of mentorship.

We all have that need for guidance and we all want to be that person that someone looks up to. Even if we don’t have a mentor we can look to we have the ONE who never fails and never guides us wrong.  Psalm 61:2…when my heart is overwhelmed, lead me to the rock that is higher than I.

Do you have a mentor?  Have you been a mentor? Have you ever been led wrong?  Have you ever led anyone wrong?

Hey we made it to the half-way mark in the A-Z Challenge.  Be sure to visit some of the other 172 bloggers who signed up for the challenge.  I’ll be back tomorrow with my N for empathy, yet I’m clueless as to what that will be.

Cheers,

                         

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Listen

Posted on April 14, 2025 | 4 comments

I think I’ve mentioned how Monday mornings come way to fast.  I only have a few minutes before it’s time to walk so today’s word on empathy is: Listen.  In order to be able to deliver empathy, we have to listen, or in this day and age of text and instant messages, read.  I’ve heard it said, “reading is fundamental”.  We all have a need for righting the wrongs and being able to fix things.  In our own selfishness or pride it’s easy to miss a detail in reading or writing a message.  It’s easy to not hear something in conversation because we are too busying thinking up what our response is going to be.

In order to deliver empathy in a meaningful, honest manner, we have to take the time to hear what that person is saying/typing.  As I’m writing this post, my yellow cat is biting my pen as if to say, “Are you listening?  I want some kitty loving otherwise the pen is going to be your hand.”  Sometimes we have to listen to the lingo not just the words. Learn to read between the lines before responding, otherwise it’s just lickspittle.

I leave you today with this short and sweet post.  Listen to the lingo, live, laugh, and above all love.  Jesus loved us so much, He came and died for us..

Have you ever responded to someone and missed a detail?  Have you ever left out a detail and when someone responded back to you, it wasn’t the reply you were expecting because some detail was missing?

Cheers,

 

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Kitschy vs. Knowledge

Posted on April 12, 2025 | 4 comments

Kitsch was the word of the day yesterday.  I had never heard of it so I did some more research on it.  Apparently there is a hair product company named Kitsch. I was more interested in the definition: something cheap or tacky that appeals to popular taste.

I pondered that for a while and it brought me here.  I thought about how many times I tell someone about something I am going through and I automatically get a response for the situation. Never really thought about it until I saw the word of the day yesterday and I thought, yeah it’s a kitschy response.  Do you do this?  I do this all day long at work.

A situation that happened most recently help craft this post.  I was helping someone with their auto policy and they were upset about the increase in the premium.  I gave my premade empathy filled response (I mentioned this is mandatory whether we believe it or not) and added I’d be upset too if my policy increased over $1000 and I’d do whatever I could to get the bill lowered.  They also added that they had perfect driving record and never filed any claims.  That was odd that the bill went up that much and it was my goal to find out why.

When we were growing up if we couldn’t hit a baseball or dribble a basketball we didn’t get to make the team.  Cold hard truth: you aren’t good enough for the team.  In today’s world everyone makes the team whether they can or cannot hit or dribble a ball.  We don’t want them to feel like they are not good enough.  In my humble opinion, not every kid should make the team.  Maybe they would be better off on the chess club or the drama group.  This generation of entitlement is our own fault.  Instead of kitschy responses we should be honest and give them other options to look into.  Instead of saying “you can be anything you want to be”, we should be saying “it looks like you are not getting the hang of it with that hockey stick, maybe you would be better at figure skating”. Or, “I don’t think you will be the next Vincent Van Gogh, but a piece of clay might be right up your ally”.

Granted some people don’t like to be taught.  The young person with the $1000 increase on their auto policy lied about having an infraction on their motor vehicle report. First I asked if it was accurate because they said they had a perfect driving record.  They said it was.  I explained the ways we could bring the premium down if they did certain things, their response was “I’m not doing that because it was not my fault.” According to the motor vehicle report, it was their fault, but this person obviously grew up believing they could do no wrong and everything is someone else’s fault.

Empathy has to be honest and not misleading. Jesus cleansed the Temple.  Matthew 21:12.  Not that we have to overturn tables, but being honest is an opportunity to teach.  How have you been kitschy with your responses instead of taking the opportunity to teach someone how things could be different?  How have they reacted?

Cheers,

         

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Judgment

Posted on April 11, 2025 | 4 comments

Let me tell you a story about two brothers named John and James.

John, the older of the two, and James played on a little league baseball team many years ago.  Even though the two played on the same team they both were in competition with each other always trying to be better than the other one.  James could hit a home run like it was nothing, and John could pitch strikes all day long.  James couldn’t run and John couldn’t catch, but the coach always did his best to help them each excel at what they did best.

One Saturday afternoon the game was at the bottom of the ninth and the brother’s team was down by two runs.  There were two men on and James was up to bat.  John was coaching at third base.  If James could hit the ball far enough into the outfield he could have plenty of time to run the bases and make it home.  He stepped up to the plate and the crowd was cheering him on while others were making fun of him because they knew he couldn’t run that fast.  He whacked that ball as hard as he could, and it flew right out into the bushes at the edge of the outfield.  “Run! Run!” everyone was yelling.  James took off running, tagging first base, and the outfielders were searching frantically in the bushes for the ball.  “Run! Run!”  James kept on running and tagged second base.

The crowd started yelling more and clapping.  “Throw it!  Throw it!  Run! Run!”  John saw that the outfielders threw the ball into the short stop.  “Run, James!  Run!”  John waved James onto home plate.  James was running and the short stop threw the ball and James was running so fast and the ball was coming so fast.  Instead of the ball going into the catcher’s glove it hit James right in the head and knocked him out cold.  After six days in a coma, his parents took him off the life support and he died without ever waking up.

John grew up always feeling responsible for his brother’s death.  Even though he married and had children of his own, he missed so much of their lives because he spent more time in the bottle than he did at birthdays and other memorable occasions.  Eventually his wife divorced him and he grew into a lonely, grumpy old man.

One Easter Sunday, John was by himself as usual, when a knock came on his door.  It was one of his grandsons.  Ironically it was the one named after his brother, James.  He came in with a book in one hand and a thermos in the other.  “Grandpa, I have to share something with you before it’s too late.”  The old man gruffly said, “I don’t want to hear it.”  But James was persistent and he took two mugs down from the cupboard and filled them with hot chocolate from the thermos.  Then he opened his Bible and he spoke.

“One night there was a bright star which guided three men who were the three wise men to the birth of Jesus, who later in life became a carpenter and a fisher of men and souls.  He had twelve apostles who spread the Word of Christ.  But on one black day of hatred, envy and death, He was crucified.  He shed His blood for us to purify and save us.  He rose and is now in Heaven seated with the Father and the Holy Spirit.  He did all of this because of His great love for us.”

“Grandpa, everyone says you’re a mean old man because of what happened to your brother.  What happened to him is not your fault and Jesus loves you and forgives you.  You don’t have to feel like it’s your fault, just talk to Jesus and tell Him how you feel.”

Of course John, being the grumpy, old drunk that he had grown into wasn’t going to listen to what anyone had to say and he kicked his grandson out of his house and told him if he was going to preach to him not to bother coming back again.  That night, John died in his sleep.

There is a lot more to that story, but that is enough to make one contemplate who they are judging. As I started to write todays post I thought about whom I had to forgive and who I needed to speak a kind word to.  There is so much stuff that gets in the way of our lives that sometimes we lose sight of the true meaning of why we blog.  It is not about the accolades.

This little baby boy born in a manger came to live a sinless life only to die a brutal death on a Cross in order for us to have eternal life.  We celebrate His birth for that.  When we get wondering who did or did not comment,  when we judge others on what they do; over eating, or over drinking, or over spending, when we get so involved in things, we lose sight of what is important:  we forget to forgive. We are not here to judge.

(I know I’ve shared this story before.  I wrote it in 2011 at Christmas time and every time I read it, it brings a tear and a new prayer in my heart. I hope it does the same for you.)  Jesus had more empathy and sympathy than anyone ever.  He gave up everything for us.  I’m ashamed to admit I judge people too often and I need to stop that.

Who have you been judging lately that maybe it’s time to let that go?

Cheers,

                                                                       

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Interpretation Impacts Others

Posted on April 10, 2025 | 8 comments

In a virtual world of work at home and social media, interpretation has become so important. How people respond to the written word is much different than how people respond to the same verbal word. Being able to see an expression plays a huge part in understanding what the person is saying and feeling. Without that, the written word becomes our own interpretation.

Sometimes if we are not sure about how a person references something we need to ask. Don’t be upset with the interpretation of your own mind. Get clarification from that person. In the virtual world of social media and “I wanna be noticed”, it is easy for the typed word to be misconstrued by the eyes of the reader. Tall Cool ☺ne says all the time, “Say what you mean, and mean what you say.”  God gives all believers spiritual gifts. But we also have spiritual responsibilities. Within those responsibilities, we are to teach others the truths of God (Matthew 28:20) we are to serve one another in l♥ve (Galatians 5:13), we are to walk by faith (2 Corinthians 5:7), and we are to live wisely (Romans 16:19)

Have you ever read something and interpreted it differently than the writer intended? How did you react? Did you bring it to that person and ask for clarification? How was that taken? How can your interpretation impact others?

Cheers,

 

 

 

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Harbinger

Posted on April 9, 2025 | 4 comments

One that pioneers in, or initiates a major change.

This morning I come to my blank page in the A-Z notebook to write today’s H post.  (I always manually write my posts and then move them to a word document and then post to WordPress—yes I know, old and anal and too many steps for you young fast bloggers of the new age). Manual writing is a therapy for me and then moving to a word document is a form of proof reading to make sure I get things as right as write can be☺.  Engage thoughts before pushing pen I guess one would say.  Not to mention, as I’m writing, I’m hoping something more than halitosis comes to me this morning at 3:25AM.

I was thinking about how sometimes I just know what comes out of a person’s mouth is complete B.S. Have you ever experienced that?  They mean well and they say all kinds of things trying to be nice, but you know in your mind they are full of it and they really don’t have a clue as to what they are talking about. It’s like halitosis.  The road to hell is paved with good intensions.

Therefore this brings me to today’s H word of the A-Z’s of empathy.  Harbinger.  “I’m your Huckleberry,” as Val Kilmer portraying Doc Holiday in Tombstone said. (May Val rest in peace, I loved that actor).  I’m your huckleberry, the harbinger of the new and improved use of empathy. I don’t want it to be a template of fluff.  I want it to be real.  There is a way to be kind and not be fake. If we don’t know, we don’t know but we can still be kind about it. We don’t have make things up to try to make someone feel better.  Be real.  Be kind.

I think we’ve gone so far into making stuff up with fluffing the empathetic responses that now when we say, “I’m sorry,” people don’t even care.  For example the other day at work someone wanted to get an extension on making their payment because they had a family emergency and they just lost their job.  That’s really sad and I can relate to both of those things and I start with “I’m sorry that you are experiencing that…”  Immediately the person tells me they don’t care if I’m sorry, they just want to know what I’ going to do about the extension on the bill.  But then I get to see the notes and the same excuse has been used over and over again.  What I want to say is, “It’s too bad you’re a loser and you can’t seem to manage your money and too bad, so sad, your policy is about to cancel”, but instead I have to fluff it up with blah, blah, and blah. Like a bowl of rice.  By itself it’s not very appetizing but dress it up with some gravy or some stir-fry veggies and then it’s easier for people to digest. It’s still rice in the end and the same truth comes out.  Most days I don’t agree with all that fluff, but as I mentioned before, even if we don’t agree, we do have to submit to certain hierarchy and authority.

I think in real life situations with people we know and interact with on a daily basis we should be able to be kind, be nice, and yet be honest.  Don’t say we know how someone feels and we can relate to something that we’re clueless on.  I’ll be your huckleberry…I’ll come along side you and be there for you to cry with.  I might not know what you are feeling and I might not understand the why of what you are experiencing, but I’ll be here for you. If I can’t relate to it I’m not going to try to sugarcoat it with a bunch of rhetoric but I will be honest and truthful with what I do know.  What do you think?

Cheers,

                         

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Faithfully Fight Forever

Posted on April 7, 2025 | 8 comments

Monday mornings come way to fast.  There are a lot of F-words I could expound on for today’s A2Z Challenge.  I’ve had a few people at work drop the f-bomb on me.  There was a time back in the day when I used to drop the F-bomb quite frequently and it didn’t bother me so much as it does now.  Now it makes the hair on the back of my neck stand up.  Isn’t that funny?

I battled back and forth through the night with what to base today’s challenge on. Fighting doesn’t seem like an empathetic word. Faithful is definitely a word that might involve empathy.   Something happened over the weekend that made me realize that for me, being empathetic isn’t condoning something that is wrong.  Someone pointed out to me that I wasn’t being very empathetic over a situation that happened.

Ever since Eve succumbed to the serpent’s lies in the Garden, the battle of wills began.  Gaining control over another.  We all want it.  We all want to be right, even when we’re wrong.  Even when we break the law.

Maybe I’m wrong on this one, and I think I mentioned when I started this theme that I struggled with being empathetic at times, and was hoping to gain insight.  I have to admit that I can’t empathize with stupidity.  “Oh I know it’s against the law, but that doesn’t apply to me, so I’m gonna do it anyways.” (This is just an example, it is not the situation that happened, but someone did break the law).  A person robs a bank, gets shot by the police and now is laying in a hospital bed fighting to survive a gunshot wound.  I feel sorry for that person, but I have no empathy for them. Maybe some people have that.  I don’t. That person is an idiot who chose to break the law, hence they need to deal with the consequences.

I asked for spiritual discernment, even prayed for it and God is faithful. He will answer our prayers.  Sometimes it’s tough to see what I see in people and I wish I didn’t. But I can’t give it back. It’s like seeing a dead animal or an accident on the side of the road. You can’t not look after you look.  I’ve learned now if I see an animal in the road ahead in the distance, I look away or close my eyes until we are past it. I know that sounds incredibly silly but my heart hurts to see a dead domestic animal in the road.  Why would someone hit an animal and then leave it to die?  Why can’t pet owners take better care of their pets?  Not that wild animals have any less value than a domestic animal…they all have same, but my heart just can’t take the trauma of seeing it anymore. I wish sometimes I could look away from what I see in people.

We get to choose the battles we want to fight and the ones that aren’t worth putting in the effort. People who think rules don’t apply to them won’t sit high on my empathy list.  They need the chip knocked off their shoulder.  Everyone is different and everyone has a different story to tell.  That’s what makes us all so important in God’s eyes.  He gave each one of us a story to tell and made us all special in different ways.  We get to faithfully fight forever in the battles we chose to engage in.

Empathy involves understanding and sharing the feelings of another person while sympathy is feeling sorry for someone and their situation without sharing their feelings.

What situations do you struggle with when you should be empathetic but you are sympathetic instead?  I’d love to read your examples so that I know I’m not alone.

Cheers,

   

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Engage

Posted on April 5, 2025 | 7 comments

It’s Saturday morning and I slept in until 4:45AM.  No walk today.  I took a look at my list I made last night of things to do today and I have no idea how they will all get done (they won’t).  I’m now behind on six letters of correspondence.  My son’s birthday is Tuesday and I need to put his package together even though the USPS still probably won’t deliver it on time if it gets mailed today.  (I just realized it’s been 4 years since I’ve seen my s☼nshine and 6 years since I’ve seen my daughter!) Where does the time go?

I recall back before I started working from home ten years ago, when I could spend my days writing, cooking, and cleaning … um, yeah, okay so I didn’t do much house cleaning, but writing and cooking was my life.  I remember when I would reach out to people, they never had time to talk or respond because they were too busy.  I couldn’t understand how everyone could be so busy to not have time to respond. I made the mistake of saying out loud, “God, maybe one day I’ll be so busy I don’t have time to respond”.  Be careful what you wish for, or what you say to God because He listens.

Therefore, this brings me to today’s Empathy word: Engage. I promised to visit other blogs—and I will eventually.  Too many times I see blog hoppers jump from blog to blog with a little generic template that says “here from A-Z, good luck with the challenge, blah, blah, blah”.  Maybe that’s okay for a lot of people but I’m not going to do that.  If I’m going to take the time to visit, you’ve taken the time to write it, I’m going to read it and at least make an effort to comment about what you wrote.  As I’m writing this post today, I’m convicted about the template life has become.

Templates are something I use in my life daily at work.  I have a whole folder of “Empathy Templates” for every situation that comes up.  You know what the worse part of that is?  It’s what our world has turned into.  Even our daily life.  I remember when I first moved to South Carolina from Maine and would watch the local news.  I would freak out because every single night there would be a report of a shooting. How could that be? That never happened in Maine.  Tall Cool ☺ne would say, “Happens all the time, you get used to hearing it.”  The sad part about that is he’s right. We fall into the products of our environment.

It’s easy to get caught up in templates, generic responses.  I do it all day long at work.  People can’t pay their bill, there’s a template of how I understand what it’s like to be strapped not having the money to pay bills.  People report a death, there’s a template how I understand because I’ve lost a loved one too.  There’s a template for everything and I don’t even  have to engage in what that person is really going through.  It’s heartbreaking because this is what our world is now.  We don’t have to engage because someone or something (Alexa, Siri…A.I.) has taken the time to put every response together for us.  Do you know what I mean?

How many times do you send a text message and the person responds with a thumbs up or a heart or my pet peeve is prayer hands. (I think that is a templated response that too many people use and really don’t even pray.) Instead of me going off on a tangent I’m going to end for now. I need to engage in my Saturday morning list of things to do.  Things for you to ponder:  The next text or email you get, how can you engage instead of sending a templated response?

See you all here on Monday with F-words.

Cheers,

                           

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Defer to Differ

Posted on April 4, 2025 | 5 comments

I think I mentioned I chose the theme empathy because it’s something companies are stressing their employees use more of when dealing with customers.  In my job, we get correctives for not using enough empathy.  Personally I think that’s ridiculous but we all have a hierarchy we have to adhere to.  We don’t have to agree but we do have rules we have to follow.  I figure in this journey of A-Z through empathy I’ll learn something and maybe even share some insight with others.

Yesterday during our walk I told Tall Cool ☺ne I didn’t know what I was going to do for the letter D.  I was tossing around Devil’s Advocate in my mind but couldn’t come up with how that would have empathy.  Empathy and devil is just an oxymoron.  Tall Cool ☺ne always has a good story to tell about the people he works with.  A bunch of hillbilly rednecks if you ask me but they are entertaining.

He told me about an email that was sent out using the word differ instead of defer. Of course the two words have completely different meanings and the way it was used in the email made no sense at all … another word was used incorrectly in the same line so it was just nonsense. (Spell checking is not proof-reading, people!) We joked about it and had a good laugh that made the grueling 4 mile hike at 4:30 AM at least entertaining.

Hence came the title of today’s post.  When we come in contact with people, first impressions mean a lot.  It’s hard to have confidence in someone who has a bad first impression just like it is easy to be misled by someone with a good first impression.  Shouldn’t we all have a motto to “defer to differ”?  Yield to the distinctiveness of someone we come in contact with.  We don’t know their story.  We don’t walk in their shoes.  God’s word says He will not give us more than we can handle: “No temptation has overtaken you except such is common to man; but God is faithful who will not allow you to be tempted beyond what you are able, but with the temptation, will also make the way of escape, that you may be able to bear it.” {1 Corinthians 10:13}  What God prepares one person for isn’t the same as another. I am fearfully and wonderfully made…we all are.  And we all carry different baggage that we should defer to differ.

Who do you need to give more grace to?  How’s everyone doing?

We’ve almost got week one down.  Don’t give up!  You can do it!

Cheers,

barbie

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Zealous: Spirit Feeding † Flesh Starving

Posted on April 30, 2024 | 6 comments

As we wrap up the final letter of the A-Z challenge, it’s plain to see I have a lot of zealousies (I know that’s not in the dictionary as a word but I’m using it anyway). I’m zealous about my husband and making him happy. I try to do things I know he likes. I make food (for the most part) I know he enjoys. Of course I am not perfect at this and I can tell you he would love me to have a zeal for housework. But that’s probably not going to change after all these years.

I have a zealousness when it comes to letter writing. I have missed that so much this month. Typically I’m a 10-12 letter-a-week writer. I’ve been lucky to manage one. I am looking forward to getting caught up with my pen pals and get back to a normal (not that I’m normal by any means) routine.

I have a zeal for cooking. I love trying new recipes and making old recipes even better. If you have never visited my kitchen, I’m inviting you over. You have a free pass to Crackerberries Kitchen.

My desire to share my experiences and devotion to Christ is marked with zealousness. My whole life has changed since I accepted the free gift Christ offers by accepting Him into my heart. It was 16 years ago when I took that plunge under the water over Memorial Weekend and outwardly pledged my commitment to live for Christ. It has not been an easy road, and I know I can expect more trials and tribulations. But you know what? In the end I’m going to spend an eternity on roads made of gold. I’m going to be in a place where there are no more tears, no more suffering, and no more persecution. I’m going to heaven when I die. What about you? Will I see you there? What’s your zeal in life?

Cheers,

This is part of the A-Z blogging challenge.  Don’t forget to visit some of the other bloggers in the challenge and also check out Crackerberries Kitchen!

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Where’s Waldo: Spirit Feeding † Flesh Starving

Posted on April 26, 2024 | 5 comments

Wow! It has been an adventure for sure. What I have discovered about myself through this year’s challenge is that even though I had a plan and a theme, what I had in mind and what plucked out on the keyboard were two different things. Well laid plans aren’t always what we think they are going to be. Next year I’ll probably ditch the theme idea. That is, if my wrinkles give me wiggle room, and if the werewolves don’t get me!

What have you discovered about your writing through the challenge? Will you do it again next year? What kind of changes will you make? Where will your blog take you from here? Will you continue to blog throughout the year? If you are not a blogger and just a reader, would you like to see more of my posts throughout the year?  These are questions I’ve been asking myself, so I am passing them on to you.  Feel free to share your thoughts in the comments.

Stay tuned, we have X, Y and Z left.

Cheers,

This is part of the A-Z blogging challenge.  Don’t forget to visit some of the other bloggers in the challenge and also check out Crackerberries Kitchen!

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Variety Show: Spirit Feeding † Flesh Starving

Posted on April 25, 2024 | 5 comments


Typically I wake up in the middle of the night and my thought for the days post will come to mind and I’ll start pondering it in in the wee hours of the morning until my watch vibrates at 3:25AM. By then the post is pretty much written and I just have to transfer it from brain to dashboard. Today that was not the case. So here we are with another post that has nothing to do with my theme. I really hope you enjoy the variety show.

A Good Cause

Outside Perception

Everyone Has a Story

Crackerberries Kitchen

Finding Eliza

How Would You Know?

The Other Side

Lisa’s Garden Adventure

JMD Creative

Leap of Dave 

Janet’s Smiles

Sue’s Trifles

A whole slew of other blogs to choose from

Hope everyone is having a great day.  Only four more letters to go.  We can do this together.

Cheers,

 

 

This is part of the A-Z blogging challenge.  Don’t forget to visit some of the other bloggers in the challenge and also check out Crackerberries Kitchen!

 

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Recognize: Spirit Feeding † Flesh Starving

Posted on April 20, 2024 | 2 comments

Recognize the beauty in all things

**Side note ↑ I took that picture yesterday from my flower garden.  First one this year. ♥

Yesterday I was talking with Tall Cool ☺ne about the challenge and how I never know what the next day is going to bring. I said I thought I was going to have this buttoned up and all my posts were going to be ready so that I could breeze through the challenge.

”Maybe this is not what God wants you to do,” he suggested.

I pondered that for a moment and my perception to what he said was that God didn’t want me to write anymore. NO! I don’t think he would have given me all of these great blogging years to just hang it all up now because I’ve had a little writer’s block. I recognize that sometimes we have to accept what it is. Some days are better than others and the words will flow out like no body’s business. Other days a little more effort will need to be put forth.

I recognize that. There is beauty in everything and if we accept the things we cannot change, the courage to change the things we can and the wisdom to know the difference, we got it made.

What things are you recognizing through the challenge this year? Tell me about it.

Cheers,

This is part of the A-Z blogging challenge.  Don’t forget to check your spam folders for comments (I actually found quite a few) and also check out Crackerberries Kitchen!

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Oy Vey: Spirit Feeding † Flesh Starving

Posted on April 17, 2024 | 3 comments

My French teacher used to use this term a lot back in high school. She was forever saying, “Oy Vey” or “Mon Dieu”! I never really thought too much about it until later in life I found myself mimicking her “oy vey” or “oi, yoi yoi”. Interestingly enough, it means woe is me.

It’s first found in Psalm 120:5 ~Woe is me, that I dwell in Meshech, the intensity of the psalmist’s distress — woe is me. If you continue to read you will see that the writer is for peace, but he lived amongst pagan people.

I found myself uttering “Oy Vey” when I realized I had nothing for O. I even made up a recipe for the kitchen today. Then in the midst of thinking I had nothing I realized I had everything. “…woe is me if I do not preach the gospel!” 1 Corinthians 9:16.

For those who have God on their side, He always comes through. I love my God. He is amazing and I will preach until the day is long. I have nothing without Him but with Him, everything is possible.

Be encouraged!

Cheers,

This is part of the A-Z blogging challenge.  Don’t forget to visit some of the other bloggers in the challenge and also check out Crackerberries Kitchen! 

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