Today’s Thank Yous

  • Thank you to Da for going to the elementary parent potluck year after year for the past eight years without insisting that I take a turn.  Somehow I have never been inclined to doing it and Da goes without making any fuss about it.
  • Thank you to Da for saving me a part of his eggplant parmesan sandwich from his lunch just because I so like it. It was such a small thing but it made me feel so loved…!
  • Thankful that Hari joined me on a jog this morning. I haven’t worked out in ages and have been struggling to overcome inertia. It will take multiple tries to get the momentum going but I am glad I had company to make a start.
  • Thankful that although I had a late start to weekend chores, I feel reasonably ready for the week. It helps that it is going to be a short work week.

School

Going to Hari’s and Ram’s schools is akin to visiting a temple. It’s a sacred place for me. I always leave the schools feeling grateful and inspired. Grateful that my children are growing and thriving in a nurturing environment, where they are allowed to be who they are while being encouraged to give their personal best. Inspired because when I am there I feel like I am surrounded by great thinkers.

Today, we had been to parents-teachers’ conference at Hari’s school. We were pleased to get updates on Hari. The teachers told us he is a model student with the right balance between work and play. Following the conference, Hari took me to his classroom and as expected I was clicking away all the quotes and nuggets of wisdom in the classrooms. Here, I am sharing with you one of my favorite finds of the day.

DREAM BIG

If there were ever a time to dare,

to make a difference,

to embark on something worth doing, it is now.

Not for any grand cause, necessarily —

but for something that tugs at your heart

something that’s your dream.

You owe it to yourself

to make your days here count.

Have fun.

Dig deep.

Stretch.

Dream big.

Know, though, that things worth doing

seldom come easy.

There will be good days.

And there will be bad days.

There will be days when you want to turn around,

pack it up,

and call it quits.

Those times tell you

that you are pushing yourself,

that you are not afraid to learn by trying.

Persist.

Because with an idea,

determination,

and the right tools,

you can do great things.

Let your instincts,

your intellect,

and your heart

guide you.

Trust.

Believe in the incredible power of the human mind.

Of doing something that makes a difference.

Of wroking hard.

Of laughing and hoping.

Of lazy afternoons.

Of lasting friends.

Of all the things that will cross your path this year.

The start of something new

brings the hope of something great.

Anything is possible.

There is only you.

And you will only pass this way once.

Do it right.

 

Wonder

Thank god, they don’t leave the lights turned on in movie halls. I simply couldn’t stop myself from shedding buckets and buckets of tears while watching Wonder this morning. The movie is as heartwarming and uplifting as the book is, although Hari is of the opinion that the book is the better version.  In the movie, Julia Roberts killed it. As a matter of fact, the entire cast brought the story to life. What fine acting! I can’t wait for it to come on Netflix.  

Do it anyway!

The kids lined up to board the school bus like they always do. Ram got in and had a conversation with the driver, which was unusual for him. Just as I was wondering what it could be about, the little chat we had that morning hit me.

Ram had misplaced his mittens a week back. He was nonchalant about looking for it. Over the course of the week, we had a number of conversations around the curious case of missing mittens. “I don’t need an extra pair of gloves amma. I have another pair.” “I don’t want to look for it mommy.” I explained to him that we all lose stuff. It happens. It means we need to get better at taking care of our things and it starts by searching for what we lost. So check in the Lost and Found box at school, check in the Lost and Found box in the bus, I had advised.

He checked at school. No luck. When I asked him about checking in the bus, he confessed, “I am feeling shy to ask the driver amma. I don’t want to ask amma. I am ok with just one pair of mittens.” I told him it made sense, I too feel shy about talking to people sometimes. I then tried to reframe the situation for him. “Think of it as something that you need to do to find your mittens instead of thinking of it as having to talk to the driver.”  I was not sure if he understood, but he nodded and asked me to remind him to ask at the bus stop.

Needless to say, I had forgotten all about it. But he had remembered. He had mustered all his courage to go up to the driver and talk about his missing mittens. It was not easy but he did it anyway. And guess what? The mittens were sitting snugly in the Lost and Found box! Quickly grabbing them, he waved at me, his heart puffing with pride and his eyes shining with confidence.

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Ram joined Boy Scouts this year. The much dreaded popcorn sales was upon on us sooner than we thought. As part of that effort, Boy Scouts are expected to dress in their uniforms, explain their mission, and sell popcorn to random passersby.

One fine hot Fall afternoon, Ram went with his dad to sell popcorn. I went for a brief few minutes to see the child in action. For the first few times, it was hard for me to watch him get rejected. How could someone reject a little child’s plea for buying popcorn? Soon the mommy bias faded and good sense prevailed. Not everyone likes popcorn. Not everyone believes in Boy Scouts. Not everyone has money to indulge a child that’s not theirs.  And rejections build character, it’s good for him in the long run. As I was building these stories in my head,  Ram and his scout buddy did not let rejections deter them from going to the next person. They did what they had to do. Ram took the rejections in stride, in spite of the inhibitions he was feeling within. It was not easy, but he did it anyway.

************************

These two images are etched in my memory. They remind me of how the child pushed himself beyond his comfort zone and did what it took,  not without inhibitions but in spite of his inhibitions. They inspire me to reach out when the easier thing would be to hold myself back.

 

BFG

Last night’s mental list of things to do.

  • Dust kitchen counter
  • Make dinner
  • Unload and load dishwasher
  • Iron Da’s clothes
  • Research on renovation related stuff
  • Plan meals for next two days

Guess what took priority instead? The thing that was not in the list to begin with – the BFG costume for Ram!

BFG

There was a lot of moaning and groaning in my head. Why can’t the school just do a Halloween parade instead of creating a Story Book Character Day*? Why can’t Ram just pick a more readily available costume such as an astronaut or the Ninja Turtle? Why can’t Da return the tile sample tomorrow and work on this costume instead? Why me?

Ram had thought through and had his heart set on being the BFG (Big Friendly Giant) based on a book by Road Dahl. He already had a vision of how he wanted to look. There was no turning back at this point. Well, the small problem was, errr…. the only person who could help him last night, yours truly, is not exactly an artsy craftsy creative person. How are we going to pull off a last minute BFG costume when we are spending an hour looking for socks and bath towels?

Let’s just say, necessity is the more of creativity. Ram and I teamed up and raided our Halloween pile to do our own costume – a vampire cape for BFG’s night time cloak, a Nehru vest for BFG’s waist coat, a regular pant and an army t shirt. Now what do we do for giant ears? What about Sophie? Ram borrowed an idea from Hari’s Halloween costume – we were going to use a headband to attach two giant cardboard ears so he could wear them with ease. After some drawing, cutting, taping, the giant ears were ready. For Sophie, we took a little girl toy from the Candyland board game, and stuck it to one of the giant’s ears. We emptied the K’nex box and made it into the giant’s suitcase. The only thing that was missing was the trumpet. We conveniently agreed that the BFG was not going to be in a particularly musical mood the following day.

As I waved Ram at the parade this morning, I was so proud of what we had pulled together. Cute little Sophie peeking out of his “ears”, one of his hands clasping the suitcase, and the other holding on to the BFG book.

I am thankful that Ram stretches my imagination, squeezes my non-existent creative juices and makes me do things that I would never try on my own. When he sees you doing things for him, you can sense his gratitude welling up for you. His eyes sparkling with excitement and anticipation.

There are very few things that are rocket science, isn’t it? With some imagination, a lot of willingness to try and fail, and some patience, more often than not, you find a way to make it work!

* The goal, as the name implies, is to dress up like a character from a book. It could be any book!

Cocoon of love

This week, at home, the only places that we have access to is the bathroom, a small path in our kitchen and the basement. The pungent smell from the flooring polish is overwhelming and gag inducing. The dust on the kitchen counter from all the sanding limits the cooking (yay!). We finish all our tasks as quickly as possible and crawl into our tiny basement where all of us are huddled together. Hari in a twin mattress on the floor. The rest of us on the queen sofa bed.

All of us winding down together in the same room at the end of the day has been the best part of our renovation. It’s just the right kind of physical proximity. The kind that is reassuring, not suffocating. The kind that’s mostly filled with silence with some chit chatting as the impulse strikes. The kind that has space and togetherness at the same time.

I feel deep gratitude to be wrapped in this cocoon of calm, quiet, reassuring love.  

All in lighter vein

That in which Hari patronizes my laziness…

I lock the front door, gaze at the overcast skies, recall the weather forecast, and loudly proclaim, “Common sense tells me I have to take an umbrella.” Hari who was at my earshot shot back “Amma, let’s just pretend that we are people without common sense and go without an umbrella” It cracked me up like no other. And by the way, that my friends is how the teen brain thinks and acts!

That heartwarming moment in which I realize Da and I are made for each other…

I was staring at my off-white and black dress for tad too long. There was a light orangish old food stain on it. I couldn’t make up my mind – is this food stain blending with the dress or standing out?  I really didn’t want to change but the stain was there for everyone to see. I called Da for a reality check, “Do you think I should change my dress. Can you see the food stain?” The guy looked at it with all the focus he could muster, and asked. “Do you have a black sweater? Just wear that to hide the food stain” Tell you, that instant I knew, we are made for each other!

Travel Musings

I am writing this post in the South Carolina airport waiting area. There is a good one hour for boarding and seven long hours to reach home. In spite of the lingering headache, I feel relief.  A relief from knowing that my work for today went well and I can get back to my routine work tomorrow. I feel a wave of gratitude fill my heart.

Although I have not gone around the city, Charlestown seems to be a nice place. It’s brisk and sunny outside. People are consistently warm, polite and kind. My cab driver, who was on the elderly side, is one of the friendliest persons I have met. As he said good bye to me, he shared the rules he lives by – “Be thankful, be courteous, and be on time” I nodded with a smile, his good nature rubbing on to me.

I parade the airport up and down for Panthers t-shirt for Hari. He had asked for one, “It’s ok if you don’t get it, but look for one amma” I don’t like the price tag, I am not impressed with the quality, but I overlook and grab the black t-shirt. The memory of the incessant text message from him yesterday cheers me up. I confess, when I am the one receiving the text messages, I am less judgmental and have more tolerance for teens with cell phones. “I wish I have all the cool gifs that you have,” I texted him. “When you come home, I will show the app to you” he replied instantly. This is how role reversal creeps in, an advice here, a teaching moment there, and reassurances thrown in the mix.

What to buy for Ram? Can’t make myself get another set of color pencils. The Hudson store has very limited options and I don’t want to spend too much. I manage to find a travel Snake and Ladders board game. When I spoke to Ram this morning he seem to have had a rough night with the coughing. Poor little one. I think of all the giggles that the dad and son had over Pinky and the Brain, and the innocence of it all makes my spirits soar.

I buy an apple turnover Nutella pastry for Da from the gourmet bakery. “Ram eat your breakfast”, “Hari did you pack your snack?”, “Did you book the taxi Maha?” He managed to squeeze all these questions in one conversation to three different people during my call this morning. It’s a crazy week to single handedly hold down the fort. The painters and the flooring guys are at home to do what they need to do. We have limited access to essentials and over 2/3 of the house is off-limits. Being the uncomplicated guy that he is, he takes it in stride. He does what he can, is content with very little, gives his all to his family and has no qualms about saying no when he cannot.

Another day. Another adventure. Thankful that we thrived.

This and that…

I am thankful that the 5-minute presentation at the Indian  school assembly went well. The kids were engaged and my two boys gave their seal of approval. Grateful for the opportunity and the support.

I am thankful that Ram’s very belated b’day celebration with his bus stop friends turned out to be just what we wanted – a cosy celebration, clean fun, and quality time.

I am very grateful that a friend was surrounded by company when she needed it most. I am thankful that I was able to take her home;  my car gas tank was full and my cell phone was charged, without which I would have been useless.