Feeling in control – A little over forty years ago, two psychologists ran an experiment in a nursing home.
They wanted to see if they could reverse the effects of institutionalisation on the elderly residents i.e.feeling powerless, with no control over their lives, little hope and positivity. One group of OAPs were encouraged to take more responsibility for themselves – in order to increase their sense of power and control – and the second group were left to rely on staff taking care of them.
The experiment was very simple: both groups were given a pot plant. The ‘responsibility’ group were taught how to water and look after their plants, whereas the other group’s plants were looked after by the staff.
The results were profound!
The group that had spent time watering and caring for their plant felt and acted very differently to the other group… they were happier, more positive, took more exercise, joined in more activities in the home with the staff and generally experienced improvements to their general sense of wellbeing. The most striking thing was that – over the next eighteen months – 50% less of the responsibility-group had died.
When people think in a more powerful way, they feel more powerful, more in control. When people take part in activities that make them feel more powerful, they learn to think in a more powerful way.
On a very basic level, this is what your mental health is based upon – how powerful and in control you feel.
The more powerful and in control you feel, the better your thinking, beliefs and attitudes will be. You feel more in control of your emotions, more able to deal with the pressures and hurdles in life, you’re happier and more positive, and you put more effort into looking after yourself.
There are dozens and dozens of experiments like this one – all with very similar results…
What this experiment shows is – contrary to popular belief – you actually have a choice about your mental health. It’s not pre-determined; it’s not set in stone; it’s not written in the stars; it’s not dependent on things “going your way.”
Every day, YOU can make choices that make you think and feel better. You do not have to feel anxious or stressed.
This may be news to you.
Think for a moment of someone you know who is always buoyant and cheerful. Someone positive and resilient who makes the best of every situation, and bounces back from problems and adversity with apparent ease.
Contrast them to someone you know (this could even be you) who feels quite anxious, stressed or prone to bouts of low mood.
The difference is not what happens ‘to’ you. The difference is how you respond to things. If you respond to what life throws at you in a powerless way, you WILL feel overwhelmed, and your mental health will suffer.
If you respond with helpful, powerful thoughts, you will feel calm and optimistic. The Thrive Programme is about taking responsibility to learn the skills that make this easy and automatic for you, and accepting that you have a choice over how you think and feel. You’ve probably never been told this before, and just let your thinking go unchecked; mistakenly believing that you’ve always been like this and it can’t be changed. In fact you CAN change – once you take responsibility to do so. The choice is yours, and now is the time. Whether you’re seven or seventy (or a hundred and seven) now is a great time to invest time and energy in learning to thrive.
A plant or animal is said to be thriving when it is growing, developing and being as successful as it can be within its environment. We have seen thousands of people choose to learn to thrive. They have taken responsibility for their thoughts and feelings, and taken the time to develop self-awareness and the necessary skills. It takes practice, for sure, but it’s not difficult.
Children can learn these skills just as easily as adults and OAP’s in nursing homes…
When we hear the phrase ‘mental health’, it can bring to mind ‘mental illness’: But, mental health is a spectrum. Poor mental health leads to depression, anxiety, low self-esteem, a strong desire for control and so on. Mental WELLNESS, on the other hand, encompasses positivity, resilience, optimism and a sense of calm, even in times of change.
How are you feeling today? How do you rate your mental health? Are you prone to bouts of sadness or moments of panic? Do you wake up feeling stressed, already worried about what the day might bring? Is your mood unpredictable and prone to changing at the drop of a hat, in response to something happening? Or, do you feel calm and stable? Do you wake up feeling calm and positive, unfazed by the ups and downs of life?
It’s helpful to imagine a spectrum: -5 at one end, all the way to +10. Take a moment to consider how you are feeling. Minus 5 is down and depressed; 0 is ‘Ok’ and +10 is where we all want to be: optimistic with unshakeable confidence that you’re living your best life and have the skills and resources to manage anything and everything. Where would you place yourself on this spectrum?
If you’re feeling bold, why not share your number in the comments below?
We don’t just want people to overcome mental health issues (move from say a -3 to a + 4) – we want everybody to learn how to thrive (+9 or 10).
On Wednesday, we’ll set to work on building the strong psychological foundations you’re going to need as you stop letting life just ‘happen to you’ and instead start ‘happening to life’. Until then, spend some time paying attention to your thoughts… are they positive, powerful and calming?
PS Congratulations! The simple fact you’ve read this post shows you’re already taking responsibility and have made the choice to improve your mental health.
That’s great news!
You can read the FULL series of blogs/info posts on our dedicated #thrivingathome page here. Feeling in control.
