External Influences – We’ve already discussed the fact that most people don’t have a very ‘Internal Sense of Power and Control’, that is, most people pay far more attention to factors and influences outside of themselves, than they do to their own inner strengths and abilities. What’s more, they believe these EXTERNAL influences are significantly more powerful than their INTERNAL strengths.
This leads to people feeling quite powerless – especially around their emotional responses to these outside influences – which in turn creates a number of different effects, some of which you will have heard of, like ‘social anxiety’ and ‘obedience to authority’.
Stanley Milgram set up the most famous ‘blind obedience study’ at Yale in 1963, to test how many volunteers would give (progressively worse!) electric shocks to people – just because an authority figure (a man in a white coat) told them to do so. The last click on the shock machine read ‘DEADLY SHOCK’, and yet despite this warning, two thirds of people turned the dial all the way round and shocked the other volunteers until they heard them yelp, and collapse to the ground with a thud (actually no-one was harmed during the experiment as actors were used and there were no real shocks happening).
This experiment has been replicated many times around the world and the results are consistent each time – about two thirds of people will give another person a major electric shock, just because they are told to by an authority figure.
What has this got to do with you ’thriving at home’? Well, it’s just an example of how susceptible people can be to external influences.
These external influences play havoc with our thinking, and we just end up responding to them in robotic fashion. We don’t THINK about how we are going to respond, we just respond.
What external influences are currently playing havoc with your thinking?
Well, the most damaging current external influences for many people are social media, the news and their friends/family (usually in that order)
✴️ How many times a day are you currently being told frightening and shocking news that leaves you fearful for your life?
✴️ How many times a day are friends messaging you/sending you ‘helpful’ videos and stories?
✴️ How many times a day do you tune into the news to hear terrible story after terrible story?
Each time you read, see or hear one of these stories or bulletins, you feel more deflated, more scared, more feeling out of control.
But what SHOULD you do?
You need to follow Govt. guidelines – Stay home and protect the NHS, but what can you do to protect your own sanity?
It’s not difficult: turn off the news, come off social media, stop talking to negative/catastrophic friends
If watching the news leaves you feeling panicky and anxious, STOP WATCHING IT! When you have a stronger Sense of Power and Control, the news will no longer automatically influence your thinking and will not leave you creating anxiety and fear in the way it might do at the moment.
Or, if one of your friends or family members is a real ‘Debbie Downer‘, recognise that their negativity is a huge threat to your positivity as you start changing your thinking habits. By all means, talk to these people, but put additional effort into protecting yourself: anxiety is catching (so is positivity).
And, social media: something that absorbs your time and attracts your attention. Social media can be wonderful ONLY IF you actively monitor your intake and the impact it has on your thinking.
This is hard, by design: tech companies pay millions of dollars in their attempt to hijack your mind so YES it is hard to look away & even harder to switch off. The enticing use of images, dramatic language and likes are addictive. The media you watched is not innocently created for your entertainment, nor merely for information, but intentionally engineered to manipulate and control your mind.
This means it’s really hard to maintain control of your mind unless you switch everything off: this is not due to weakness on your part; but you will need to make a deliberate choice to take control, for your sake.
With all these things, you have the option to change your ‘media diet’. Not necessarily for ever, but for now.
Rest assured that ‘important news’ will still reach you; social media will still be there and friends and family will want to spend MORE time with you once you’ve retrained your brain to think calm, powerful thoughts.
Remember, you have choices. You always have choices. Instead of watching news, why not watch comedy instead? If you always listen to the radio in the car, you could use this time for podcasts or an uplifting playlist. Instead of talking to an anxious friend, do a workout or tidy your sock drawer or take a cup of tea outside and enjoy the sunshine. Make it easy for yourself to think more positively.
If you want to THRIVE through these testing times, take our advice and act upon it!
Wishing you all a relaxing Easter weekend. We’ll be back on Monday 🙂
You can read the FULL series of blogs/info posts on our dedicated #thrivingathome page here. External Influences
