Tag Archives: cancer

One of those feelings…

03 Sunday Mar 2019

Posted by in Uncategorized

≈ Leave a comment

Tags

, , , , , , , , , , , ,

Once again I have that feeling… that feeling that something greater than myself is going to happen.  I usually have that feeling around Christmas with the Hope the season brings.

I’ve stumbled a bit this morning… I set my breakfast on the table and started scrolling through Facebook and I come across a post by CBC… https://www.cbc.ca/news/canada/london/cervical-cancer-diagnosis-lhsc-london-study-1.5038907?fbclid=IwAR0Yex6tG8om9v9BMZBaMMQLlgFNh54gU-bbuwrLfvivknhi_C7z4qRwbzU

Read it, or don’t read it.  The bottom line is it’s about how a woman in London, ON. had regular pap tests and then her doctor didn’t refer her for biopsy because he didn’t feel it was necessary. Now I realize the title of the article is a bit misleading in that it blames that pap test itself but, I believe, they are trying to sell the point that pap tests can be unreliable like most tests.  The worst part is, they didn’t catch it in time, she’s been through treatment and was in remission but cancer has returned.  She will never see her children grow up.

For those of you who know my history, you know that the article HAD to throw me!  And it most certainly did!  That’s the big picture that I have always talked about.  I did what I did because I saw this occur time and time again with cancer patients.

So now I’m finding I’m once again at that point where I feel like I want to, need to am SUPPOSED TO burst forth and do SOMETHING but, as usual, I don’t know what that something is!

Is it something I’m supposed to write?  Is it something I’m supposed to do?  If it’s either of those things… can I get more of a hint? Perhaps just spell it out!

I’m a writer, I feel like I have written all I can but I’m also a nurse, a Life Coach, a teacher, a mom, a sister, a daughter… the list goes on, of course.  But what. is. it.?

I don’t know.  As much as I wish I did, I don’t know… or at least not yet.

So I will continue my writing and I will continue to write what comes to mind.  Maybe something, just something, will suddenly occur to me!

Answers…

15 Sunday Oct 2017

Posted by in Uncategorized

≈ Leave a comment

Tags

, , , , , , , , , ,

As you know, I saw the specialist on Wednesday morning.  The specialist who still will not acknowledge the fact that there were malignant cells in what he removed in March.  He went over everything, bypassed my one concern and then said he wanted to wait until February and do yet another of the biopsy procedures.

That’s when I said ‘stop’.  I wanted to discuss surgery as an option.  I have not, up until now, divulged the cancer I had but will now because it’s much easier to tell the story… cervical.  So I asked about a hysterectomy because I’m in my 40s.  Not having any more babies and explained that my anxiety is out of this world and I can’t keep going from procedure to consult to procedure to consult with no real end in site and no answers.

And then what?  When HE determines that everything is okay I spend every year wondering if there are going to be bad cells turning up again?

It’s not worth it.  My family doctor had asked me why they just wouldn’t do the hysterectomy based on those first biopsy results and I explained that the specialist merely told me “we weren’t there yet”.  Well, because of my anxiety, I win… finally!

So, my message to all of you is to keep on pushing when it comes to your health.  Who knows where else cells are hiding!  So on November 16th, that’s where I will be.

Remember my asking when I would have time to read those writing magazines I bought?  Well, here it is!  Except that I did manage to read through The Writer which was very good and left me feeling good about my self-publishing!

I’m sure that by the middle of November there will be new ones out for me to get and read.  It’s also NaNoWriMo so it’ll be interesting to see if I’ll be able to sit and write!

One thing is for certain, there will be a LONG list of things I won’t be able to do and my daughter will HAVE TO step up and do a lot of it!  Laundry, vacuuming, getting the garbage out, etc.  I have a really long list of things I need to do in a month as well.  I’m even hoping to be able to get back to work part-time after two weeks… but the boss is on vacation starting December 14th so I could, essentially, be back off for that time.  We’ll see… it’s unfortunate that I have no idea how I will feel.

I will, of course, be posting between now and then, as usual!  If you haven’t signed up for NaNo yet make that happen!  Take the challenge! Write 50,000 words in 30 days!  You can do it!

There’s a Lighthouse…

09 Saturday Sep 2017

Posted by in Uncategorized

≈ Leave a comment

Tags

, , , , , , , , ,

In the harbour, shining faithfully, pouring its light out, across the water…

Those are the next words that Garth Brooks sings in his song When You Come Back to Me.

I have kept that lighthouse in my sights though, I must admit, it has disappeared from sight a few times.

And here I am, sitting at the trailer again, looking out the sliding door towards the lake; a lake that from the lookout is royal blue but from the beach is green.

I wanted the escape to wind down from my vacation before I go back to what could be unpleasantness at work.

As you know, I had my procedure the last time I posted and the results were in yesterday… I picked them up last evening.  There were no malignant cells in the samples he took (he took 2 this time!) which is excellent.  That means he got it all in March.

I’m going to remain cautiously optimistic until I see him in a month.

In the meantime, maybe I can try my best to get back to some of my writing.  I have had ideas, I just haven’t been able to write anything… is that any big surprise?

I just bought a copy of Writer’s Digest Writer’s Workbook and look forward to sitting and reading through parts of it.  It even has worksheets inside.

So while I walk around the park and take pictures and try to relax I hope my brain will be, once again, working on the story that I’ve been wanting to write.

Maybe I’ll go to the beach for the sunset after all… I’ll just dress warm!  And make sure I pack my notebook!

 

Anxiety++

29 Tuesday Aug 2017

Posted by in Uncategorized

≈ Leave a comment

Tags

, , , , , , , , , , ,

I don’t even get to have the anxiety on the side!

I don’t think I have ever known anxiety like I have in 2017.  And it just keeps getting worse!  I am down to 37 hours before my procedure appointment and the anxiety has definitely made itself known starting with a mini attack yesterday afternoon!  Best case scenario is he takes a look and there’s nothing to biopsy.  Oh how I wish for that answer!

Anyway, as for work, well, it was a Twilight Zone week last week and I am now on vacation.  It ended on a good note on Friday and you know how bad it’s been.  The stress was greatly reduced this past week.

I’m hoping to get plenty of writing done in the next 2 weeks but I really need to eliminate this anxiety first!  It’s definitely taking its toll!

I did escape to the trailer this weekend, however.  It was Saturday to Sunday and I came back early for a bridal shower but it was awesome!  The weather was a bit cool but it was sunny!  AND… Saturday night was “Halloween” because the resort is closed by Halloween.  Had I known I would have taken my costume along and got right into it… oh well, I did go into town, got candy and some of the few decorations that were available.

There way more than 50 kids and that’s all I bought candy for so I put my empty bowl inside and went to the beach (for the second time) for the sunset.  It was beautiful!

So speaking of giving away things, this weekend, for the last long weekend of summer, I am giving away Confessions in the Mural on Kindle from September 1-4.  Here are the links…

Amazon.com:

Amazon.ca:

So make sure you get your copies before it runs out!

As I said, I hope to get some writing done!  I also plan on heading back to the trailer in a little under 2 weeks and I’m going to stay until the afternoon sometime!

Life…

23 Sunday Nov 2014

Posted by in Uncategorized

≈ Leave a comment

Tags

, , , , , , ,

Ah Life… that wonderful thing that does it’s best to interrupt any writer’s mojo!!

I ended up with a 3-day weekend which hasn’t been so great.  My dad called Friday afternoon as they needed to borrow my cat carrier, one of their cats hadn’t been eating for about three days and had lost an incredible amount of weight.  A two hour vet appointment later told the tale–she had cancer.  Cancer of the liver that caused enough swelling that it was crowding the other organs, including the stomach and one of her lungs.  There is no treatment.  Yesterday, they took her back and had her put down.  An incredibly sad weekend.  Needless to say, I’ve hardly been home!

I thought of Pierce, Joanna’s cat in The Trinket Box and how she would react if Pierce got sick.  I’m not going to write it but it certainly gave me food for thought for another time.

So life tends to intrude so often for a writer.  Is it everyone?  Or just me?

I did manage to get my handout material written on Friday morning for Platform tomorrow night.  This afternoon’s task will be the PowerPoint presentation as I’m starting from scratch on it! I can’t cut and paste anything!!

So how do we, as writers, carry on when life gets in the way and cuts us off?

I’m not sure we’ll ever know the answer.

Design a site like this with WordPress.com
Get started