Brr

Today is the first really cold day we’ve had this winter, and it’s truly unjustifiably cold in our apartment. It’s been less adequately heated than usual all winter but this isn’t ok.

Supposedly they did something to the water heater this fall, so there is a possibility it’s an honest mistake, but I have my doubts. I know at least one person has complained about the heat already– like a month ago– and nothing has changed.

We now have a promise that the heat will be checked when other unrelated things are fixed tomorrow. IDK.

What I believe about disability accomodation in schools

in an abstract, “if everything were perfect” sort of sense.

In an ideal world, anyone who is capable of learning the skills/information taught in a class should be able to get a school transcript with a passing grade in that class, if they choose to put in the time to learn those skills and information.

If the material being taught is not beyond a person’s grasp, but the format of the class makes it prohibitively difficult for them to learn the material or complete the assignments then they should (again, ideally) be able to get accommodations or an equivalent class taught in a different way.

Some examples:

A person might be able to do all the assignments for a class, but not be able to physically attend the class every day because of pain or fatigue issues. They might be able to do an online class instead.

A person might be able to do school assignments sometimes, but not always on a regular schedule, because of symptoms that occasionally flare up and then improve. They might still be able to finish all the assignments for a class, if allowed to turn them in late.

A person might be able to learn the material for a class, but not able to complete a particular type of assignment. Someone who can’t give a speech might be able to write an essay instead, and if public speaking isn’t the topic of the class, an essay could be considered equivalent to a spoken presentation.

Misophonia

I should probably stop telling myself I definitely don’t have it at all, when what I actually mean is

  • I have it inconsistently and not very often– I can’t sum it up with a list of bad sounds. Whether a sound bothers me seems to depend a lot on context (lack of other background sounds, whether I’m trying to focus on something, repetitiveness of the sound)
  • I can deal with it– I have disproportionate anger and frustration and, yes, violent intrusive thoughts about unpleasant sounds sometimes (as well as about other sensory things) but I’m very practiced at relaxing and letting them wash over me and reminding myself that other people are allowed to fidget. So, like, it’s “not that bad”… for a certain value of “not that bad”.

Anxiety-ish

(Or: this post again, prompted this time by me reading an informational thing about “avoidant personality disorder” which is sort of a subset or a different way of conceiving of social anxiety.)

Is there any social-anxiety-adjacent condition that isn’t defined by fears (of rejection, of criticism, of embarrassment) and/or negative self-perception (believing you are unlikable, incurably awkward, etc.)?

Because I have neither of those things, but I also can’t express an opinion in public without vibrating, so.

————

Maybe I’m interpreting these things overly literally.

But in my head, there’s a difference between having a fear of a thing, and having a physical anxiety/stress reaction to it?

And the descriptions I read of social anxiety etc really do seem to put a focus on worrying thoughts– things like “[a person who has this condition] is preoccupied with being criticized or rejected in social situations.” And some suggest that one aspect of social anxiety is being afraid that you will seem embarrassed— like, worrying that people will notice you are blushing, or worrying that you’ll have a panic attack.

And I don’t really have any of those things.

 

Kudos to me

Another resolution-y/ADL thing that I’ve actually been doing really well with since this summer: not letting expired food sit in the refrigerator and get gross.

I made a decision sometime in (I think) June that even if I couldn’t clear out the whole fridge right then, I would at least not let any more expired things collect in it. The rule was, every time I took out the trash, I’d check the refrigerator and throw out anything that had expired since the last trash day.

And I’ve kept to that rule every time! Since June! I’ve managed to chip away at the previous gross stuff, too, an item or two each trash-day. I must have taken out a dozen old jars of pasta sauce since then– that’s the thing I usually forget about. By spring it should be pretty much empty, and I’ll be able to scrub everything down and have a really clean refrigerator.

Which is good since we’ll be moving at the end of May. I almost forgot about that.

So Numbers Guy got Sparkly a Christmas present

It was a piece of jewelry.

And he explained how he decided what to get:

He wasn’t sure what Sparkly’s favorite color was, so he collected all the selfies Sparkly has sent him on his phone, took out the work outfits that are mostly-black because they’re suits, and put the rest into a program that sorts images by the predominant color.

Apparently the color Sparkly most often wears is blue.

(I would not have figured this out without a program either. Ey likes a lot of different colors.)

He also decided on a necklace based on the fact that ey has tons of earrings but doesn’t wear them very often, and never wears bracelets.

So he got em a necklace with lots of sparkly blue rhinestones.

Round of applause for Numbers Guy please.

Pre-resolution

I spent the evening finding a new to-do list application. I’m trying out Todoist, because it

  • has reasonably functional repeating tasks
  • has a nice simple interface
  • has a desktop app so I can put it somewhere prominent on my computer

My actual resolutions are to get back on a regular schedule with various self-care things. When Sparkly’s work/school schedule stopped being regular, I really fell off the wagon with things like eating lunch at a regular time. I may not be able to really pull things together until eir spring semester starts, and I may have to adjust some things to fit eir schedule, but I’m going to start trying now anyway.

More nebulous things I should do more of:

Talk to Sparkly about food, try new recipes, etc.

Plan things so that Sparkly can bring lunch/coffee/etc. from home

Play with the cats

Knit

Email my parents