reverse_solidus

I made no secret of who I am. I was upfront, and my only crime here was trying to spare your feelings. Yes, I could have played along, ruined the SIGNIFICANT relationship that you half the time lament, and half the time rave about the wonderfulness of. I could have allowed you to labor under the impression that I was going to come visit, and sweep you off your feet, and 'take you away from all this'... but even if I had followed through? It would have been as a friend. Only ever as the best of friends.

I am male, and gay. This is not a transient state. This is not something I could put aside for that 'one right person'. I really don't believe it works like that. You need to look at what you want, and what you have, and if you aren't trying hard enough to make it work? Try harder. And if you are? Maybe it wasn't built to work. That happens, about 50% of the time, and there is no shame in it. There will be no shame.

I am not attracted to women. I find them often beautiful and wonderful and brilliant. But I am not sexually attracted to them. That is the bottom line. I have also stated, I don't know how many times, that I am not in a place where I could be 'in a relationship' with anyone. Not like that. Hell, I made that whole 'preferences' post on Tumblr, and I know you read it. We talked about it.

Your words have hurt me deeply, especially after everything I have gone through. Everything that you know I've gone through. I do not understand how a conversation that started with me worried and making sure that you were okay, ended the way it did. I was not asking for a separation. I was not looking for burned bridges, and nothing nothing nothing I said should have prompted the reaction you gave. But it happened, and there is no taking that back. So... goodbye. I hope you find some help, from a source you can actually trust. Obviously, that wasn't me.