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omg
testgoddesses of pop~* v2
untiitled

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MAGIC BULLET
sprinklebell

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MAGIC BULLET
sprinklebell


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MAGIC BULLET
sprinklebell

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MAGIC BULLET
sprinklebell
HAY

this is just a post to push down the autoplay video from the front page

WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE DOG BREED?

please reply in pictures ty

this was weird
mikeismyname
i work front desk at a physical therapy clinic.

i went to wendys to get dinner. while i was waiting in line, the cashier, an older woman maybe in her 40's, was like... eyein me. she looked like an older version of selena, but chubby.

anyway, i got to the register and i ordered my food. she saw my shirt, which has our companys logo on it, and asked how long ive been working there. i told her a few months and the conversation went like this:

selena: oh a few months? i dont like getting massages from women, makes me uncomfortable
me: oh well, we have a few guys there, too! you should come by, they can really help you out.
selena: oh no, i dont want any of them....i want you to do it

all this happened while i ordered two jr cheeseburgers.

me: uhhh ohhh hahaha, no, im not a therapist, i work in the front
selena: well, it only takes a little bit to get your license, right? ill wait for you.

now, she didnt say this as a joke. she said this with a straight face. she was looking at me with stone-cold (steve austin hell yeah 3:16) look.
anyway, i then moved to where you get your food and went on my phone to look busy so she wouldnt talk to me. then, she came up to the counter, grabbed my cup (i had one from a gas station) and asked what was in it.

me: oh, i got diet dr pepper, but its ok, i dont want you to get in trouble
selena: too bad, we dont have diet. it's a shame, i wouldve have...topped you off...

at this point, i kinda lost my appetite. it wasnt that she was ugly or anything (i mean, she was kinda janky lookin but whatever), it was just so....weird. it must suck to be a chick bc that shit was fucking awkward. and ive never really been hit on before, so that too made it fucking awkward.

finally, she was putting my food in the bag and continued on

selena: yeah, i work as caretaker, too. when people ask me if i make enough money, i show them my 2011 ford focus and say, 'what do you think?'
me: yeah, cars are cool ok bye thanks

and i left

ruined someone's surprise engagement
mikeismyname
i work at a massage/spa clinic at the front desk. these two girls, around 26-28 came in for massages. they got their massages done and i was up front waiting for them to come out.

the first girl, ill call her glasses, came out first, alone. my boss was up front with me talking to a customer and i was getting ready to ring up glasses. while i was checking out glasses, she asked if we could do group sessions. i asked her how many people and she said around ten or so, for a bridal shower or whatever. i was like, "sure, we can do that"

then, her friend, i will call her blondie, came out of her session. she was like "wow, i need to get my bf to get my a gift card for valentines day here", so i i knew she didnt have any idea about the engagement.

she came up to my computer and i started ringing them up when i asked glasses "so did you wanna find out about that group session?" and she was like "OH NO no thanks hahaha." at that point, i was like OOOOH SHIT and tried to recover. then glasses turned to her friend and was like "for my parents and grandparets, yknow" and blondie was like "oh ok, cool whatever"

THEN my boss finished up with her customer and came up to us and said "oh, so i heard you mention you wanted to do something for a bridal shower??" and everything just stopped and got really awkward and quiet. glasses was like "uhhhh hahaha no, i was about my grandparents and stuff, to have them all come in ahaha" and blondie was like "oh my gaaaaaaaah" but like, to herself, under her breathe and i was like "eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee lemme go ahead and check you out"

then they left and i started laughing to the point of tears and explained to my boss what happened and she was like "i dont curr"

(no subject)
orly
dolcetta
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bO1PIauwBWs&feature=related
id like to make a response video tbh

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mikeismyname
hey what was your personal album of the year? not necessarily something that just came out in 2011 (obv it can be), but an album you discovered this year that really stuck to you


(no subject)
MAGIC BULLET
sprinklebell
THROWBACK


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MAGIC BULLET
sprinklebell



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doggy
harasenaj




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reality
not_kosher
LOL i love how brenden and liz act like moderating ONTD is a real job

brenden - you are not perez hilton (although the resemblance is uncanny)

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mikeismyname
i made this twitter account

i havent tweeted anyone besides just now. the first tweet was the only tweet there
i logged in and saw i had two mentions

what

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mikeismyname
post here and lll give you your very own chris-chan


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nicolas
catalytically
hey guys! so it looks like we're spending another 6-9 months in mexico SO we might move to.....

cordoba, veracruz



irapuato, guanajuato



queretaro



I wouldn't mind taxco, guerrero tbh


Where should I go!? also my cousin is moving back to Acayucan, Veracruz (or Cordoba!)




poast poast
doggy
harasenaj
poast

answer honestly pls.
keeping it real
k_nkles
Poll #1769724 3 questions

which _refuse member don't you like?

tell me a secret.


(no subject)
mikeismyname
what do you think of chicks on tumblr like this one
http://beckyloves.tumblr.com/tagged/me/

(no subject)
ritsukacom


2 hot 2 handle.

HEY FATTIES!!! (RIP ontd_fatties)
nicolas
catalytically
ok I just uploaded 3 Jillian Michaels videos, I know some ppl here have wanted to dl them so xoxo!!

Jillian and ontd_refuse lol jk ilu all xo


Jillian being a BA



Read more...Collapse )

Also yes I know it's Thursday

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nicolas
catalytically



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reality
not_kosher
Image and video hosting by TinyPic

Does Brenden deserve porn

yes he's fat and never gets irl sex
11(26.2%)
no he's fat and never gets irl sex
31(73.8%)

(no subject)
nicolas
catalytically
2night's inspiration:
[22:54] [witches]: ("yeezy taught me" juicefromjesus) what is a chorizo
[22:54] [witches]: ("designer pussy" chrswith1eye) sausage~**~
[22:55] [witches]: ("yeezy taught me" juicefromjesus) official or just slang
[22:55] [witches]: (danceofdays67) nah its officially like meat
[22:55] [witches]: ("yeezy taught me" juicefromjesus) steve you are so gross
[22:56] [witches]: ("yeezy taught me" juicefromjesus) we would be great friends
[22:56] brizzlebrawleo: have you seriously never had chorizo
[22:56] brizzlebrawleo: like even i know what soul food is
[22:56] [witches]: (danceofdays67) uh oh
[22:56] brizzlebrawleo: jk ilu


take this fucking bolillo and cut it in half like burger bread, turn on your stove and use a fucking comal

put the two halves of bolillo face down, maybe add a LITTLE BIT of butter to the comal like, rub it on the comal etc and let the bolillo toast a little

take the chorizo out of the baggie and put that shit on a frying pan

do NOT add vegetable oil to this, the juice from the chorizo will work just fine

that's motherfucking chorizo just throw that shit in there and let it cook then throw some eggs in there and let it all mix the fuck up ok

don't forget about the bolillo set that shit aside ok and your scrambled eggs/chorizo will look something like this only not as ugly


if you WANT, you can add a little bit of black pepper, but i'd definitely suggest throwing some salt on there



get out some fucking mayonnaise and spread that shit on your bolillo where it got toasted

AND DON'T USE MIRACLE WHIP that shit's for pussy bitches and people who were obviously born with reversed taste buds

anyway now that your chorizo/scrambled eggs is all nice and cooked pour that shit in your bolillo then add some fucking AVOCADO SLICES


it is now a BREAKFAST TORTA

and no I wouldn't put tomato/lettuce in there wtf this shit isn't a fucking salasd BITCH
eat that shit UP and orgasm straight out of your mouth

(no subject)
nicolas
catalytically
cocklover69: I would love to spend an afternoon in a museum with you, then have lunch, walk through the park, come home, and make mad, passionate love to you.
cocklover69: I can't wait to have you in my arms and to kiss you.

lol omg..... i'm just like oh sweet so where would you take me, spoil me etc lol jk about the spoil part........... but ya

pix for lols




he said he's a classically trained musician and that he conducts choirs and orchestras omg!! w o w look @ his successful ass

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nicolas
catalytically
omg I can't breathe, I am lol irl
xoxo113: you are a very handsome young man




I'm speechless

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nicolas
catalytically
Rofl a str8 guy messaged me last night...


"Hey bro, whats up. So how was your day? You should so come back to Houstone, me and you could get together ;)"

I said: "Hi! Last night was really long, sorry I hadn't seen your message until now. I can't wait to come back! Were you drunk when you sent this? You're straight"

"lol. nope i was not drunk sexy ;) im just real curious..."



why me......

(no subject)
nicolas
catalytically
Hello, i just looked at your pic and profile. You are different.


My name is Mark ***-***-4955

Thanks,

Bye




oh okcupid

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nicolas
catalytically





































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nicolas
catalytically
I'VE BEEN MEANING TO POST ABOUT THIS
BUT I KEPT FORGETTING
NOW I WON'T.............DID ANY OF U EVER FOLLOW THE MAJORA'S MASK STUFF










I think I pasted them in order lol. Anyway, creepypasta etc
http://www.youshouldnthavedonethat.net/

(no subject)
MAGIC BULLET
sprinklebell

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nicolas
catalytically













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bobdole88












(no subject)
MAGIC BULLET
sprinklebell
what r u doing?

(no subject)
nicolas
catalytically
















Discuss

Stop Motion Post
spectralstar
Go to http://www.piterwilson-toys.com/wcsmt2/maker/ and comment with a .gif of yourself. We will tell you how amazing it is etc.~

I'll brake de iyse


eta: lol if no one responds.

(no subject)
MAGIC BULLET
sprinklebell

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nicolas
catalytically

(no subject)
MAGIC BULLET
sprinklebell
Image and video hosting by TinyPic

(no subject)
Jerri
sprinklebell
Any good docs on youtube you could recommend?


(no subject)
MAGIC BULLET
sprinklebell
Can anyone direct me to the Britney Spears freaking out at Starbucks post on ONTD? I will trade you a soulful funky song on youtube for it

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nicolas
catalytically
"Tiffany's Mexican Molestation"
Part 3 in the TKK Fan Fic Diaries
Characters: Tiff, Bra (sweet_tiff4prez/catalytically)
Rating: NC-17
Author: Calvin (aurosan) Welcome to my casa (house)

I’m really glad you could make it,” Tiffany purred as she poured herself a glass of Crunk Juice.
“Thanks for paying to fly me out here, after I spent so much money on the phone I thought my parents were going to kill me!” Braulio spewed with his thick lisp, he was a small greasy latino, with a hunch similar to Quasimodo’s. He slumped deeper into Tiffany’s bed in her dorm for all the gym majors at Kent University.
“You know I’d do anything for you, but now I think that you need to do something for me.” Tiffany paused, and laid a thick seductive glance on Braulio’s round and pasty latin face. “I think you know what I want, and you owe me for flying you out here.” Tiffany crawled over her K-Mart sheets, crusted over with her own love juices from the night before to the object of her nubian obsessions.
Braulio’s heart was racing, he identified himself as a gay teen, and he had no interest in Tiffany, but as he looked into the small crevice created by her cleavage falling out of her T.J. Maxx top his mouth went dry, and nothing was working to make it wet again. His small red tongue dashed back and forth, attempting to moisten his mouth.
This only made Tiffany more excited, Braulio’s tongue darting across his crusted lips made her loins tingle in anticipation. She had been planning for this exact moment ever since she first saw Braulio, she knew that she wanted, his supple twelve year old body to fulfill her deepest desires.
“Braulio, I want you to calm down, I know you’ll enjoy this... yeh.” Tiffany took one of her long, black, crooked fingers and stuck it between Braulio’s nipples. She dragged her finger down to his belly button with such force that his shirt ripped in half. He pudgy and pale stomach flopped out over his “From First to Last” belt buckle. “Oh.. yeh.” Tiffany moaned.
Braulio was experiencing completely new sensations, he didn’t know what was going on. He knew he was gay, or at least he thought he was, but his body was betraying him. As Tiffany circled his now naked nipples with her fingers he felt his underwear tighten. The feeling was inexplicable, and exciting. He wanted more, but he was embarrassed to say.
“It’s okay baby, I can see your face flushing, I know this is what you want.” Tiffany said, she had seen right through Braulio’s assorted faggotry. She stood up on the bed, without saying a word, and peeled off her tight top. Then, sharing more seductive glances with Braulio she hooked her skirt and garter belt with her fingers and slid them down her short and hairy legs.
Tiffany stood there with nothing but large stained panties, and a sports bra on. “Don’t look so surprised, I am a gym major,” she said in response to Braulio’s inquisitive look. She reached around the back, struggling with her own bra, finally she ripped it off. Two globular pieces of fat bounced out, each discolored and misshapen. Both were tipped with small and pointy nipples, similar to Braulios.
Tiffany lowered herself back down, this time onto Braulio’s lap. “Go ahead, take them into your mouth.. yeh.” She purred as she juggled her own breasts in her hand, giving them to Braulio. His hands shook as he reached up and grabbed a hold of the first breasts he had ever handled in his life, besides his fathers. He took note that they felt like sacks of cooked oatmeal.
“Yeh... oh... yeh...” Tiffany couldn’t believe the sensations traveling through her body as Braulio manhandled the wet sacks of flour on her chest. Tiffany closed her eyes in a state a bliss, but they shoot back open as she felt a wet sensation on her nipples. Braulio had lowered his head onto her breasts, and was now suckling on her lovely lady lumps.
“Yeh... oh yeh... you better slow down or I’m gonna shoot ghetto style all over you.” Braulio looked shocked, but stopped what he was doing. Tiffany climbed off of him, settling back onto her crusty sheets. “I want you to play with my shit nigga, can you do that for me?”
Tiffany stood back up and grabbed onto the slide of her large panties, she took hold of them and slid them off quickly. Braulio had never seen a snatch before, and he was surprised at the sight. Tiffany’s oversized labia, accompanied by large and snarled labia flaps was quite the sight.
“I want you to finger me, and I want it now.” Tiffany growled as she lowered her pussy towards Braulio’s face. He took a trembling finger and slowly slid it in her pink love canal. “Oh... yeh... yeh.” She repeated over and over, Braulio had worked one of his sausage fingers deeper into her pussy, and now he was working on stroking the underside of her long and thick clit. Liquids poured down Braulio’s fingers, wetting his arms and the sheets of the bed.
The moment was so intense, and passionate. Braulio’s small boner was aching against his white washed jeans, he needed to set it free. He pulled out his finger to better get hold of his belt and undo it, but Tiffany grabbed his hand before he could undo a thing. “Nigga what do you think you’re doing? Did I give you permission to stop pleasuring me?” She screamed, frustrated that she wasn’t getting off anymore.
“Sorry Tiff, but I’m so fucking hot, my four inch chubby is burning inside of these thrift store jeans. I need to unleash it.”
Tiffany was a total cock slut, the idea of his latin sausage in her mouth made her excited, so she let him continue. As Braulio wrestled with his belt and pants his pocket began to vibrate.
“Shit! I think I have a call!” Braulio said, stopping his task to answer his cellphone.
“What the hell are you doing?” Tiffany shouted when she saw him talking out his phone. The possiblities raced through her mind.
“I want you to put that in me, right now.” She ordered.
“But it’s my mom!” Braulio pleaded, he needed to answer it.
“Well your momma is gonna fuck da flyest bitch tonight babe.” Tiffany said as she grabbed Braulio's wrist, moving it toward her stinking love hole. “Put it in me.”
Braulio jabbed Tiffany with the still vibrating phone, her whole body writhed in pleasure. Seeing Tiffany in such a state of ecstasy Braulio could no longer contain himself, he shoot a small, infetile load, directly in his underoos.
The phone stopped vibrating, and so did Tiff. She was shocked, and appalled that Braulio would be as selfish to cum without getting her off first.
“GET OUT OF MY DORM! GET OUT AND DON’T COME BACK UNTIL YOU CAN PLEASURE A WOMAN!” Tiff screamed while standing back up in her bed. Braulio scampered up, and grabbed his torn t-shirt. He looked up into Tiffany’s eyes, he wanted to cry, he wanted to feel something. All he could do was leave, leave while the love of his life stood naked on her bed at Kent University, in the dorm for gym majors.

desktop poast
jobros rock my world
breezie
i'm bored. show me your desktop!

tyfytCollapse )

Very serious issue
egage
simr2277
Need your opinionCollapse )

TYFYT
Tags:

(no subject)
reality
not_kosher
Hey guys, check out my Teaser for Acapella by Kelis over at http://myspace.com/djrichardliguori

(no subject)
Steele~
datpeter_steele
Hot Text - http://www.sparklee.com











(no subject)
reality
not_kosher
anon

(no subject)
goddess eye
foxxxygrandpa

(no subject)
reality
not_kosher
nm this place is officially dead

(no subject)
reality
not_kosher
uh ok