music

I Told You I Was Trouble

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So I’m three acts deep in the Tempest, and I am digging it. I am digging it, digging it. For the first time in a long time, I’m not feeling like some voyeuristic pervert giggling in class every time a pun is used. Apparently, the Tempest is really dirty. Well, I was, at least until  Mike reassured me that it wasn’t just me.

I really thought I was losing my mind. That this influx of hormones, of interest, of, yes, I’ll admit it, of The Filthy Shakespeare which I just purchased was at fault.

I’m rather relieved that it was the bard himself.

Having decided to do the legal music thing (and listening to a bit of her on YouTube), I also ordered Amy Winehouse’s Back to Black. I had been off-put by her rep, I suppose, not having heard her until very recently.

Oh. My. God.

Continue reading I Told You I Was Trouble →

blogging

I Love You, But…

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…you broke my blog.

I love wordpress. I mean, for the most part, I can figure out WordPress.

But now, after getting technical support for my Third column sort of just disappearing, I’ve been told I must go through every post and format the pictures in it (and something about the “read more” thing which I don’t understand) in order to get it back.

The picture doesn’t make sense. It works inside the post (i.e., within the whole of the text-post), just not on the main page.

Maybe I should just take pictures out of the main page, but I was trying to add a little visual diversity.

But I can’t deal with it right now, either way.

I’m just sad.

This makes me sad.

It worked fine yesterday. It wasn’t until I tried to copy posts from the other blog that I had problems with it.

Oddly enough, it happened (and the inability to upload pictures) just as I was going to (gulp) post the first full-length pictures I’ve had taken since my wedding.

Maybe it’s just not time yet. But at least I was prepared for it.

writing

One Task Down …

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So it’s Sunday, and I’ve finally, finally finished my short story that was due at 6:00 on Friday.

It’s now almost 3:00 pm on Sunday.

It was pointed out in class that no one had written about sex yet, and after that, every one after that (so far) had some sexual element in it.

I tried to do something different, although with that sort of invitation, it was kind of hard to resist writing some sort of straight-up sex scene.

Mary Gaitskill has this way of writing about the ugly and the sordid and making it something sweet an intimate. At least some times, I think. I doubt I was as successful as she, but that was what I was going for. It’s only version 1.5 (and very, very late), but I’m rather proud of it, actually.

Of course, it hasn’t been torn apart yet. That might make a huge difference.

Continue reading One Task Down … →

Eat Pray Exercise

Miracles Part II (Orig: March 7, 2008)

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When ink joins a with a pen, then the blank paper

can say something. Rushes and reeds must be woven

to be useful as a mat. If they weren’t interlaced,

the wind would blow them away.

Like that, God paired up

Creatures and gave them friendship.

Rumi, Essential Rumi, trsltd by Coleman Barks

I read over the Part I part, and I realized I went no where near where I meant to with it.

So I’ll try again.

Apparently it takes a really long time for something to slip down between the folds of my psyche. I’m slow like that at times.

One of the big sayings at the Unity church which I attend is “Know that you know that you know.” Which, on an intellectual level, I got. There is a difference, obviously, between intellectually understanding and really, really getting something.

I don’t know the particular moment that I got that I got that I got it, just that I didn’t at one point, and then I did.

There was a particular moment when I realized something absolutely wonderful, though. There was a shining, singular moment when something spectacular and fabulous and utterly wonderful occurred to me. There was a shining, singular moment when I realized something so profoundly simple.

That I didn’t have to be fat anymore.

Continue reading Miracles Part II (Orig: March 7, 2008) →

Eat Pray Exercise

March 5, 2008 (Orig: March 5, 2008 Quel Surprise! )

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We have commanded you to pray and fast from the beginning of maturity; this is ordained by God, your Lord and the Lord of your forefathers. He hath exempted from this those who are weak from illness or age, as a bounty from His Presence, and He is the Forgiving, the Generous.

Baha’u’llah, The Kitab-i-Aqdas


It’s that time of the month again! This time, I’ve discovered 7.6 lbs gone this month, bringing my total gone to 10.2 lbs.

Thank God. Literally.

And something I just said two days ago: “And my second day into this particular commitment is way too early to go and break it.”

It wasn’t about the Fast, but it could have been.

Monday, I had a horrible day. My energy crashed about 3 pm, and I couldn’t get it back. I napped. I broke the Fast for coffee (very much trying to stay away from food for it), and I finally ended up eating, but nothing helped.

The next morning, I’m bright and shiny and happy, happy, happy to be eating breakfast before sunrise.

Continue reading March 5, 2008 (Orig: March 5, 2008 Quel Surprise! ) →

Eat Pray Exercise

Miracles Part I (Orig: March 3, 2008)

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Thy name is healing, O my God, and remembrance of Thee is my remedy. Nearness to Thee is my hope, and love for Thee is my companion. Thy mercy to me is my healing and my succor both in this world and the world to come. Thou, verily, art the All-Bountiful, the All-Knowing, the All-wise.

– Baha’u’llah, The Hidden Words

In January, I was the recipient of a healing so incredibly deep that I will never, ever be the same.

I don’t know the exact moment. Despite my thinking that healing was a singular moment where the proverbial magic wand is waved over someone’s head and all the hurt and pain was taken away (which, in a way, is exactly how I feel), there was no specific moment for it. At least not one that I can pinpoint.

Considering it was junk I had been holding onto, clinging to, really, for almost half my life, the fact that I don’t remember the moment when I felt released or realized that it was gone amazes me.

It was simply there until it wasn’t. It wasn’t until I went to eat something (non-specific because I really don’t remember) or do something that was part of old habits, and I just sort of said to myself, “I don’t have to do this anymore.”

Continue reading Miracles Part I (Orig: March 3, 2008) →

Eat Pray Exercise

And So It Begins (Orig: March 3, 2008)

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Today marked the beginning of the Baha’i Fast, a spiritual practice which I first encountered last year.

I don’t have any of my numbers handy — my starting weight and things like that, but since I’m such a fan of important dates, I thought this would be a perfect day to begin this blog.

Even if there’s only 20 minutes left in the day.

I really didn’t accomplish much of anything today. I worked, slept, and spent some time with some out-of-town friends.

I also left my medicine at work this morning. That was sort of surprising, and I wasn’t going to bother with it (conceivably unwise, but factual nonetheless) until I remembered that my vitamins were in it, too.

I’ve been making monthly health goals — specific practices which I adopt each month in order to completely create a new healthy lifestyle one or two steps at a time. This month it’s drinking 6 cups of water a day and taking vitamins.

They’re not so much goals as they are commitments. Which is why I found myself, at approximately 10 tonight, driving to work to get my medicine bag. Not because it had medicine in it, but because it had my vitamins in it.

And my second day into this particular commitment is way too early to go and break it.

blogging

April so Far …

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…Isn’t that different from March, only there is a very observable lack of ice cream.

I’m not exactly sure where I got the idea that life would be smooth sailing once I made a commitment to something. It’s been anything but.

I have (read: had) a short story due at 6 this morning. Not done. Lots of stuff: Not done. There are four-ish weeks of school left and there is so very, very much: Not done.

On the other hand, I’ve managed to see this guy (It was in March, but it was so cool that it carried over):

Phil Jones’ didgeridoo workshop. I think if I go to one every year, in about 10 years, I’ll have figured out how to play.

Continue reading April so Far … →

college

Aroo?

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So, a momentary panic set in when I went to order my cap and gown. No big deal, it passed.

It wasn’t until I sat down with the Bear to meet for our independent study and tried to schedule future meetings with him so that there was none of the confusion that has seemed to plague us of late.

And, as I looked at the calender, I realized that there are officially six weeks left in the semester. Two of them are reserved for finals. I have four weeks left of school.

Four weeks. Four!

So, yeah, the panic has begun, a bit early this time, I think. But then again, there are other contributing factors.

We read Othello for Shakespeare again, and I realized that I liked Othello far better than Cymbaline (which utterly, utterly sucked in its ending, by the way) or anything else we’ve read so far this semester.

And Jenny says I’ll make it, and Jenny’s never wrong.

But right now I’m really starting to wonder.

English

Why Oh Why?

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Am I here again, at the blog? I have so much to do. Really. I’m so far behind…Really.

And yet here I am, at the blog, twitching.

I entered another contest, this one a short fiction and locally.  I wasn’t ready to go public with the Tool story, I don’t think, so I did a quick run-through revision of Ten Pennies, and submitted that.

The biggest change was I took out the hokey ending.  I didn’t wrap it up, but I guess that’s ok. He left and he’s happy. That’s all that matters. He still tells her he loves her.

So. I’m here, at the blog, and I can’t sit still.

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