Most relationship communication falls into one of five patterns. Four of them slowly erode trust. One of them builds it.
Defensiveness refuses to own any part and makes excuses instead of listening. Stonewalling uses emotional withdrawal as punishment. Criticism attacks character instead of addressing behavior. Contempt is the most damaging of all because it signals that you've stopped respecting your partner as a person entirely.
Healthy communication sounds like "I feel this when that happens." It takes responsibility for your part. It seeks to understand rather than win.Knowing which pattern you default to under pressure is the first step to actually changing it. Read More »
