determinedI've been discussing my situation with more people lately. I think it's important for me to be honest about it and my depression diagnosis, because it basically forces me to stop hiding from it. For so long, I convinced myself that I was just sad sometimes and doesn't everyone get sad now and again? Now that depression is "on the table" and out there, I can own it and work on it.
I started the Lexapro on Saturday, and the first day was definitely interesting. I felt a bit like I was on cold meds. Somewhat lightheaded and nauseous at times. I realized that I can no longer wait many hours before eating, otherwise I start to feel sick. I'm told some of this will pass, and I hope that's true. I seem to feel hungry a lot more, as well. After reading how much weight gain has been associated with pretty much every SSRI, the hunger thing does concern me a bit. Like anything, though, you have to determine if the risks outweigh the benefits. For me, I don't think they do.
This week my shrink said that "pills don't build skills". I think many who just take meds, but don't work on any underlying causes that might make you need to take them, are missing a great opportunity to heal from within. I'd already been making progress well before I started taking Lex, and I look forward to continuing that. If you broke your arm, you'd put it in a cast. My brain just happens to be a bit broken right now, in a sense, and the Lex is the cast so I can heal from within. And to think, all those years when my stepdad was telling me how g-damned useless/worthless I was, I foolishly thought that my thick (cast-like) skull was deflecting it all. Oops. Guess not! He's still a dick for it, no matter what he was trying to compensate for.
In related news, I'm still a petite pretty pretty princess.
grateful
