And now, a quick summary of where we are, courtesy of your friends at the Hidden Message.
- We’re broke. No, I mean really. Really, really, no dough, all skint. As in out-of-doors, hand-to-mouth, ramen-is-lookin’-good broke. Wall Street is advising clients to invest in canned goods and ammunition.* And those in charge – the ones who nominally have to fix all this – are the idiots whose belief that everything is best when it’s auctioned off for a profit on the way to the golf course caused about 95% of this mess in the first place. This means that not only are we broke, we’re also screwed. And so is the next President.
- Speaking of which, the nominal “opposition” “party” is lining up to drink the Kool-Aid proffered by these same idiots. Doing the dispensing is the current Presidential candidate, who is just happy that his base thinks he walks on water and everyone else is distracted by the wailing and gnashing of teeth on Wall Street – otherwise they might realize that caving in when the chips are down is really nothing new for this guy (FISA, war funding, etc.)
- The Great Reformer, John McCain – a “maverick” in the same sense that Obama is “opposition” – is “suspending his campaign” and heading back to Washington so he can strap on his Superman cape and save the country. This apparently means…um, we’re not sure. He’s still collecting money, doing interviews (except on Letterman), running ads, and the like; he knows as much about the economy as he does about taming mountain lions in the Kalahari; and he really can’t strap on a cape without his wife’s help. But he won’t debate, given that this is so all-fired important, and especially he won’t allow have Sarah Palin debate. She should be seen and not heard, after all…meanwhile, the “maverick” is cozying up to the current Pres Resident on his recovery plan (*ack ack ack*) and desperately hoping no one brought along a camera, or otherwise makes the connection that this walking disaster incumbent of the 30%-and-falling approval rating is actually, y’know, in his party.
- While McCain drops the Cone of Silence on his cartoon-character running mate, Cynthia McKinney has offered to debate Obama in McCain’s absence on Friday. This will of course happen, right after Sen. Obama removes his own appendix with a bottle of Scotch and a rusty chainsaw.
- The Libbies believe that the reason all of this happened is that there was just too much regg-uh-lay-shun, durn it!…which is the best reason I can think of to not allow the LP to run a luncheon, much less the country. Or, rather, they would be saying this if they weren’t currently having an ego-fueled bitchfest between Bob Barr and Ron Paul that makes Ralph Nader look like Mr. Rogers (more forthcoming from the HM on that score).
- In a related topic, Chuck Baldwin of the John Birch Soci Constitution Party, the noted pastor who believes that America was founded solely as a Christian nation, is the current crush object and donation recipient of the Ron Paul Blimp of Luuuvvv. In further related news, Verne Troyer has signed as a center by the Los Angeles Lakers, and a spokesman for the sun has revealed that it will be rising in the west tomorrow, “just for a change of pace”.
Yeah, I’m watching this election. The problem is, I’m not watching it from far enough away.
* Yeah, I nicked this line. Couldn’t help it.
Filed under: politics | Tagged: barack obama, bob barr, chuck baldwin, cynthia mckinney, democrats, elections, greens, john mccain, libertarians, rant, republicans, ron paul, sarah palin, sarcasm, the economy, wall street, whine | 7 Comments »
The Hidden Message 
