college

Reflection and Rediscovery

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It’s surprising how I’ve written zero blog entries in 2017 when a lot actually happened in 2017. Spring 2017 was my best semester in terms of academics, Summer 2017 was my best summer in terms of work life balance, Fall 2017 was my most hectic semester in terms of juggling school, job hunting, and extracurriculars, and Winter 2017 was my most edifying break since Summer 2014. In general, 2017 was a very eventful year: I went skiing for the first time, spent winter break in Boston, participated in a hardware hackathon, spent spring break in the U.S. Virgin Islands where I went paddleboarding and parasailing for the first time, interned in San Francisco for the summer, rode in a paddle boat for the first time, hiked a total of 21 miles in Yosemite National Park, biked across the Golden Gate Bridge, went on a spontaneous road trip to Philly and New York for Thanksgiving break, biked around west Manhattan, accepted my first full time job, choreographed a Kpop dance for the first time, finally took (and passed!) my last general institute requirement – biology, and served as a counselor for 6th-7th graders for the first time during Winter Student Spiritual Convocation.

2017 challenged me in every aspect of my life. I remember being super stressed during September and October because I was doing a lot of interviewing that required traveling, and the combination of the two drained me mentally and physically. But I thank God for reassuring me while I was uncertain of my professional future. Speaking of being stressed, I used to find social interactions stressful because I tried too hard to please everyone, but from exposure to people with varying backgrounds, interests, and values, I realized that pleasing everyone is not only impossible but unnecessary. Through interactions with other interns in my 10 week summer internship, peers during vacation trips, and 6th-7th graders as a counselor during a weeklong church seminar, I learned how to connect with different people and not take things too personally. I also surprised myself with how adventurous I can be. I quite spontaneously went on a 14.5 hike with little knowledge of what the terrain would be like and agreed to go biking in two different unfamiliar cities after not riding a bike for maybe 8 years?! While nothing seriously bad happened except that I tore a pair of pants at the knee from falling of my bike in Manhattan, NY, I definitely felt challenged physically and am still shocked and amazed at how daring I was to complete such physically demanding activities. Aside from discovering my adventurous self, I also discovered how easily my emotions can affect my work – usually by unhealthily destroying or building motivation. For a good portion of Fall semester, I slept at 3:00am on average because I was frustrated with schoolwork and dumbly chose to sacrifice sleep.

I spent the last two weeks of 2017 reflecting a lot not only on the past year but also on my 3.5 years in college, and it made me embark on a journey of rediscovery. I realized that while I have picked up new interests since I got to college such as dance and photography and am slowly transforming from being an introvert to being an extravert, I have sadly deprioritized certain activities that I previously made the effort to habitually do. Those activities include journaling, blogging, and reading the Bible regularly for personal spiritual cultivation. I believe the biggest change was I developed an uneasiness of being alone. I sought to always be in the company of others. This explains why I slowly neglected the above mentioned activities – they are all more effectively done alone. It’s unfortunate how in the process of trying to “find myself” in the exciting phase of college, I’ve forgotten how to find value, comfort, and contentment in having alone time. Without well-utilized alone time, I was living too much in the moment and became too dependent on the presence of others for happiness. A huge side effect was lack of self-reflection, and thus lack of self-improvement, which is a cause I used to passionately champion. Because of this realization, I’ve determined to train myself to treasure and make good use of my alone time, especially in these last few months before I start living the work life and actually adulting. That being said, here’s to a year hopefully full of productivity, God’s blessings, and continual self-growth. :)

From the muse in me,

~ marG

Done with Frosh Year Reflections: Home Away from Home

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My first post in the “Done with Frosh Year Reflections” series was about living away from home. I touched on how I became more independent, realized that responsibility comes with freedom, and became more appreciative of my parents and upbringing. In this post, I’ll share about dorm life, making friends, and how I found my “home away from home”.

Before coming to college, I was most excited about dorm life and making meaningful friendships, and I believed that the two were strongly correlated. My thinking was that ideally, where you live is where your closest friends are, er rather, where your closest friends are is where you live. At MIT, the housing process is unique in that each of the 11 undergraduate residence halls have their own distinctive culture – some more distinct than others – and we students, for the most part, get to choose where we live. Every spring, MIT students from different dorms create i3 (Interactive Introduction to the Institute) videos to give prefrosh (a term for soon-to-be freshmen) a glimpse of the culture of the dorms. In the summer, prefrosh then submit their rankings of which dorms they would like to be placed in. When school starts in the fall, there is something called REX (Residence EXploration) where freshmen can explore each of the dorms more and if they wish to switch dorms, they can enter into the FYRE (First Year Residence Exchange) lottery.

I personally had a hard time ranking the dorms. While I did visit most of the dorms during CPW (Campus Preview Weekend) and I watched all the i3 videos multiple times, I couldn’t figure out my top 3 choices until it was very close to the deadline to submit housing rankings. I ended up being placed in my fourth choice dorm, a co-ed cook-for-yourself community dorm with numbered and cultured houses that was located second furthest on Dorm Row. My twin sister was also placed in the same dorm as me, although she ranked it third. When it was time for REX, I participated in my dorm’s In-House Rush, a day for deciding which sub-community within the dorm you wished to live in. Because I knew more upperclassmen in a certain sub-community from my pre-orientation program, I chose to live there. I ended up rooming with a fellow freshman who actually had a very similar class schedule as I did, which was convenient. However, as I got the hang of classes and settled in, I realized that my social life was lacking something. I wasn’t very happy and I felt that I didn’t really belong in my community. The friendships I had made so far seemed superficial, and I longed to find a group of people I felt comfortable with talking about basically anything.

First semester ended with me feeling intellectually enlightened but socially lacking, so I purposed to be more initiative in social situations and be more active in clubs that fostered my interests when second semester came around. I got a new schedule, and I saw my new classes as new social opportunities. I also decided to invest one hour a week in MIT Asian Dance Team (ADT). This was something I had not planned to do before college, but I thought of it as a perfect opportunity to get some exercise, learn something new, and meet people. Perhaps one of the best decisions I made during freshman year was joining the Asian Christian Fellowship (ACF). ACF was such a welcoming community, and I felt very much at home during weekly CGs (Community Groups or Couch Gatherings). I met some of the most admirable people in ACF, and I also grew close to the other freshmen in ACF. As the semester rolled on, I found myself spending a lot of time psetting (a term for doing homework, or psets), derping around, and basically enjoying myself in a certain dorm that was an all-girls meal-plan dorm located second along Dorm Row. I felt that the best thing I could do for myself in college was to find a nice group of people to enjoy college with, and so I went with my gut feeling and decided to move dorms starting sophomore fall simply because I felt I would be happier there.

Although it took me almost a whole school year to find my “home away from home”, I am glad that I did in rather unexpected ways. College is a time for exploration and life is full of surprises. :)

Done with Frosh Year Reflections: Drinking from the Firehose

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At MIT, learning is likened to “drinking from the firehose”, an expression that attests to the rather immense amount of information students here chug down in a relatively small amount of time. Although “drinking from the firehose” can be overwhelming at times, after two semesters and ten classes at MIT, I’ve discovered how exciting and enlightening learning can be. Some classes even influenced my interests and revamped how I approach life.

As a first-year student, my classes were mostly either GIRs (General Institute Requirements) or HASS (Humanities, Arts, and Social Sciences) requirements because well, they’re required. I did squeeze in two intro CS courses though, since I was pretty set on studying computer science. I’ll save my thoughts on GIRs for another post when I’ve completed them, as I’ll be able to provide a more thorough reflection then. In this post, I’ll focus on the HASS classes I took my freshman year, because they were especially eye-opening. I can say that I wouldn’t be the person I am today, if it weren’t for the HASS classes I took so far.

Unlike GIRs and even courses for specific majors (aka the technicals), HASS classes (aka the non-technicals) are generally more flexible. There is a broad selection of HASS classes to choose from, and HASS classes are further categorized into HASS-H (Humanities), HASS-A (Arts), or HASS-S (Social Sciences). For both semesters of freshman year, I took HASS-A classes, namely MAS.110 Fundamentals of Computational Media Design and 21M.600 Introduction to Acting.

I took MAS.110 in my first semester as part of the Media Arts Sciences Freshman Year Program at the Media Lab. It was an incredible experience as I got to explore the intersection between technology, art, and design and cultivate my creative side. To be honest, I didn’t really understand what the title of the course – Fundamentals of Computational Media Design – meant initially. It just sounded very cool. And it was! I got to learn about typography, familiarize myself with different styles of art, play around with Scratch, and explore various forms of audio/visual expression – from cameras to musical instruments to computer graphics. This was the first actual art class I have taken, so I found it refreshingly intriguing. I did have to step outside my comfort zone a couple times because the class involved a lot of participation – reading essays out loud and giving/receiving critique, presenting project ideas and finished projects, and sharing thoughts from readings. As the semester progressed however, I let my passion for my projects and curiosity overcome my fears of not being coherent/eloquent in my presentations and impostor syndrome, which is actually a very real thing at MIT. Because of MAS.110, I’ve discovered my fascination with lines and string art, a new obsession with how code, art, and design work together, and a deep appreciation of music as a powerful medium of expression.

Based on recommendations from a few upperclassmen about which HASS classes to take and some luck, I lotteried into 21M.600 second semester (it’s a very popular HASS-A class at MIT). I had never taken theater classes before, so 21M.600 was a really new experience for me. One thing that surprised me was how physically, mentally, and emotionally demanding acting is. There’s way more to acting than memorizing lines of text, which was my initial conception of acting. We spent the first 20 minutes of every class “warming-up” – stretching and yoga – and then a good 40 minutes of partner/group exercises that involved physical activity in silence or vocal activity often accompanied with physical activity. These exercises were very out of my comfort zone at first, because a key thing to these exercises was acting/reacting on impulse (less thinking), and I usually like to think extensively before I act or voice my opinion. But these exercises allowed me to really free my mind, something I needed especially during stressful days. I also became more comfortable in my own body and more aware of myself and my surroundings. I realized the importance of committing to actions and learned to make connections through “inner images” and “countdowns”. For the first time in my life, I learned to embrace myself as an artist who is capable of controlling my interactions with other people and objects in a calculated yet creative manner. Now I feel much more comfortable expressing myself, and I pay more attention to how I carry myself and how others carry themselves.

It’s hard to imagine how just two classes can influence me so much – and non-technical classes at a technical school at that. I’m so glad I took these classes as they’ve helped me gain new perspectives on life, both in an intellectual sense and a psychological sense. Drinking from the firehose can be so enriching, and I’m looking forward to what’s in store for me in the fall! :)

From the muse in me,

~ marG

Done with Frosh Year Reflections: Living Away from Home

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Wow, freshman year of college went by so quickly. I was officially done with freshman year at MIT a little over a month ago, but I gotta admit I haven’t fully processed the fact that my first year as a college student is over until recently. Now that I’ve had some time to reflect on the past school year, I find it fitting to share some of my thoughts in a series of blog posts ~

I’ve changed a lot within the nine months I’ve spent at school in Cambridge, MA – and a lot (though not all) of the change stems from living away from home (I’m from Los Angeles, CA). For me, living away from home is a big deal because 1) I have never moved all my life until college, 2) I have never lived in the East Coast before (read as never experienced real winter before), and 3) both my twin sister and I would be living on the other side of the country from my parents.

Going to college so far away from home challenged me to be more independent in all aspects – from what I eat for lunch to how I get from place to place to when I wake up/go to bed. As someone who tends to be indecisive and dependent on others, I found it rather difficult to assume greater responsibility for things I had previously taken quite lightly. Over the school year, however, I learned that I must be responsible for my own well-being, my studies, my extracurricular activities, my faith, my habits, etc.. because if I don’t, no one else will. That alarming truth impelled me to overcome my indecisiveness and dependency. It also helped me build confidence. I began to really do things for myself because I actually felt the need to. Choosing classes, going shopping, using public transportation – these are just a few examples of things I began to more confidently do by myself. I guess you could say I discovered freedom and learned to embrace the responsibility that comes with it.

Besides learning to be more independent, I also developed a strong appreciation of my parents and upbringing. I got homesick in late September, about a month after I first arrived at MIT, and I’ll admit I got homesick again a few weeks ago, almost a month since I came back to campus for the summer. It wasn’t just that I missed my family back home in LA, the more time I spent away from my family, the more I built up a deep gratitude for everything my parents have done for me and a longing to express my thankfulness to them. There were countless times when I felt so blessed to have my family as my family. In particular, I am very thankful that my parents allowed me to explore the world of music early on through piano lessons, that they educated me well in health and nutrition, that they stressed how important church and faith are, and perhaps most importantly, that they encouraged me to treat them as not only parents, but also friends, spiritual buddies, and fellow imperfect human beings. Before college, I took most of these things for granted, but having gone through freshman year,  I realized how much my upbringing has shaped me to be the person I am today, which I will touch more upon in a subsequent post.

It’s amazing how living away from home can give you such an insightful perspective on life. And it’s only been a year of college.. still have three more to go!

From the muse in me,

~ marG

Adventures on a Snow Day

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I guess one of the perks of going to school in New England is getting snow days (no class). We’ve had two consecutive snow days so far since the start of the semester on February 3.

Being the Californian I am with basically zero experience with “real” winter, I saw snow days as a chance to have fun in the snow. I ended up going with a friend on a photo walk across the Harvard Bridge and taking some photos in a playground covered with snow.

Here’s a sampling of some of my favorite pictures from that day (taken with a Nikon D5200):

Charles River covered in snow
Charles River covered in snow
Harvard Bridge and the Charles River
Harvard Bridge and the Charles River
Camera snow tripod
Camera snow tripod
Monkey bars
Monkey bars

From the muse in me,

~ marG

A (belated) Reflection on First Semester of Freshman Year in College

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As of today, there are ten more days until second semester of freshman year in college starts. Yep, it’s time to brush up on my study habits and brace myself for a new semester of “drinking from the fire hose” (what learning is analogous to at MIT).

My first semester of freshman year in college was quite an experience. If I were to describe it in one word, it would be “eye-opening”. I’ve learned a lot in these first four months – about Newton’s laws, modern art, dorm life, living without a meal plan, using the T subway system, different cultures, and I’ve gained a deeper understanding of myself and who I want to be.

I’ve compiled some of the main things I’ve learned/observed/discovered from my first semester in college (in no particular order):

1. Collaboration is uber important.
2. Remembering people’s names easily is a admirable talent.
3. Music is my stress-reliever. ♫
4. Cooking is a good way to take a break from schoolwork.
5. Sometimes, to fit in, you need to stand out first.
6. There are ridiculously many doppelgangers on campus. o.O
7. Classes with fewer units associated with them are not necessarily easier.
8. Time management skills are directly related to success.
9. What you reap is what you sow.
10. Time is priceless.
11. Google is basically my best friend.
12. The library is a pretty good spot to take a nap.
13. (reasonably) Spontaneous trips are fun.
14. There are so many opportunities to get free food, T-shirts, and random goodies.
15. College is, overall, better than high school. :P

And that’s all I can think of at the moment. Looking forward to building more memories in the coming semester!

From the muse in me,

~ marG