Wow it's been two years since I updated

Um I guess I should give a brief overview huh

During this time I've realized I'm transgendered, I now go by Zed and I'm turning 18 this month. I can't believe I'm turning into an adult, it's something I never thought would happen. I had been so depressed but I made it though. I'm okay now

I've changed a lot when I was gone. Darker and more serious but more mentally stable.

Im still alive

And im doing okay. Still friendless, but im doing okay.

I'm sorry for being a failure friend. I'm sorry I've been so busy. I really deserve to just be alone. I had to delete my tumblr but if anyone wants to talk my URL is doctorfoxx.tumblr.com ._. I wouldn't be surprised if people here thought I was dead, I haven't posted in forever. Im sorry

When will depression leave me

i never go on lj anymore because i basically spend all my time on tumblr

im probably not going to post much more on here so my new writing blog is squidgysorous.tumblr.com

Back in America

thought I'd be happy but I found out today that one of my best friends who was also my boyfriend killed himself when I was gone

I'm alone as always

If I lose anything else that I love I'm calling it quits I can't do this anymore, I'm in so much fucking pain

my friiend is trying to kill himself again and i dont kknow what to do

Things keep getting so much worse. My grandparents said that I was hateful and depressed and thats why I don't have friends and they said that my family hated me and that i was just like my half sister. Id rather die than be like her so i basically started crying but they kept going on and on and then i got in a huge fight with my friend and i really dont know why im not dead yet because ive been replaced by everyone and everything i do or say someone gets mad or hurt

I can't stop fucking crying