flint

fleave @ 2015-07-10T08:09:00

2015-07-10T12:09:31Z

Wow it's been two years since I updated

Um I guess I should give a brief overview huh

During this time I've realized I'm transgendered, I now go by Zed and I'm turning 18 this month. I can't believe I'm turning into an adult, it's something I never thought would happen. I had been so depressed but I made it though. I'm okay now

fleave @ 2013-12-30T00:42:00

2013-12-30T05:42:28Z

I've changed a lot when I was gone. Darker and more serious but more mentally stable.

fleave @ 2013-09-09T17:57:00

2013-09-09T21:57:27Z

Im still alive

And im doing okay. Still friendless, but im doing okay.

fleave @ 2013-01-10T22:03:00

2013-01-11T03:02:35Z

I'm sorry for being a failure friend. I'm sorry I've been so busy. I really deserve to just be alone. I had to delete my tumblr but if anyone wants to talk my URL is doctorfoxx.tumblr.com ._. I wouldn't be surprised if people here thought I was dead, I haven't posted in forever. Im sorry

fleave @ 2012-10-28T04:54:00

2012-10-28T08:54:24Z

When will depression leave me

fleave @ 2012-10-08T19:42:00

2012-10-08T23:42:33Z

i never go on lj anymore because i basically spend all my time on tumblr

im probably not going to post much more on here so my new writing blog is squidgysorous.tumblr.com

fleave @ 2012-08-05T02:56:00

2012-08-05T06:56:51Z

Back in America

thought I'd be happy but I found out today that one of my best friends who was also my boyfriend killed himself when I was gone

I'm alone as always

If I lose anything else that I love I'm calling it quits I can't do this anymore, I'm in so much fucking pain

fleave @ 2012-07-02T00:21:00

2012-07-02T04:21:14Z

my friiend is trying to kill himself again and i dont kknow what to do

fleave @ 2012-06-27T11:11:00

2012-06-27T15:11:00Z

Things keep getting so much worse. My grandparents said that I was hateful and depressed and thats why I don't have friends and they said that my family hated me and that i was just like my half sister. Id rather die than be like her so i basically started crying but they kept going on and on and then i got in a huge fight with my friend and i really dont know why im not dead yet because ive been replaced by everyone and everything i do or say someone gets mad or hurt

fleave @ 2012-06-13T14:54:00

2012-06-13T18:54:54Z

I can't stop fucking crying

fleave @ 2012-05-28T00:24:00

2012-05-28T04:24:03Z

I'm so tired of living

fleave @ 2012-05-15T23:42:00

2012-05-16T03:42:34Z

LJ is being the biggest pile of literal fucking horse shit

it won't let me respond to anything OTL

fleave @ 2012-05-14T11:58:00

2012-05-14T15:58:33Z

"Because then you're watching television, you're watching the news, you're being pumped full of fear, there's floods, there's AIDS, there's murder, cut to commercial, by the Acura, buy the Colgate, if you have bad breath they're not going to talk to you, if you have pimples, the girl's not going to fuck you, and it's just this campaign of fear, and consumption, and that's what I think it's all based on, the whole idea of 'keep everyone afraid and they'll consume'"

fleave @ 2012-05-13T18:22:00

2012-05-13T22:22:29Z

I'm so fucked up alright I'm writing like 5 creepy stories in the dark, no ones home, its dark and rainy out, and I'm listening to music that's probably considered demonic in my room alone and yeah wtf is wrong with me and these freakin stories are disturbing in general

fleave @ 2012-05-11T11:24:00

2012-05-11T15:24:52Z

If I do this Frerard story right then it'll be like, the coolest shit ever

but knowing me I'm totally guna fail and mess up

and SHIT I gotta go in a couple hours on a trip, I'll be back Sunday. I'll talk to you guys if I can

fleave @ 2012-05-11T01:48:00

2012-05-11T05:48:12Z

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=U3ZECJnAl2U

You guys have no idea about how much I love Jeremy McKinnon, I owe him my life and sanity. I'd sell my soul just to be able to brush against him. He means the fucking world to me and I love him so much, he's my hero and I'd do anything to meet him

fleave @ 2012-05-10T20:25:00

2012-05-11T00:25:52Z

So I'm chillin in the book store and across from me was this preppy ass family with their son about my age and I look over and they're staring at me with disgusted looks because I'm in my usual band t-shirt, converses, black jeans and all that and they're quietly talking about me -probably saying how I'm demonic or some shit- and I was finally like listen here squid scrotums I'm not here to claim your sons soul for Satan okay leave me alone and they got up and left xD

fleave @ 2012-05-10T18:56:00

2012-05-10T22:56:53Z

Holy crap I'm writing so many sad stories. I was listening to Chelsea Smile and some of the caught my attention

"We all carry these things inside that no one else can see, they hold us down like anchors, they drown us out at sea. I look up to the sky, there maybe nothing there to see, but if I don't believe in him, why would he believe in me?" and I was like wow thats accurate right now. Then my Blink 182 fic is pretty much based off my suicidal thoughts, I basically started writing to get everything of my chest and that happened so yeah. And then finally I'm writing a My Chemical Romance fic but I'm telling no one what its about because I don't wanna ruin the ending x3 hehe

-Pointless post-

XD

2012-05-05T23:42:15Z

fleave @ 2012-05-01T19:31:00

2012-05-01T23:31:01Z

I'm so sorry for being the shittiest friend ever. I'm the worst person in the world and I know I totally let my friends and family down and I really wouldn't be surprised if you guys wanted to tear me to shreds by now. I'm the biggest failure ever and I'd be really surprised if you guys still want to be my friends, I'm trying so so so so hard to be there but so much shit has happened that I can't get on much. Everything's basically falling apart and it's all my fault and I'm sorry.

fleave @ 2012-04-28T21:36:00

2012-04-29T01:36:58Z

wow I'm the biggest asshole ever I haven't been on in a while. Lots of school stuff and even more stress

THIS

2012-02-05T21:17:40Z

lol makes a lot of sense

2012-02-04T06:08:46Z

fleave @ 2012-01-30T23:30:00

2012-01-31T04:30:57Z

I wish there was just one person who wouldnt let me down

fleave @ 2012-01-22T01:23:00

2012-01-22T06:23:26Z

really really really sorry i havent been on here much