Tag Archives: Spirits

An advice

Posted by fiveloaf on

Met a man in his early thirties a few days ago.
A good man while I was waiting for a friend. He saw me sitting alone on the kerb and so he approached me asking if I was in trouble because according to him, I looked distressed. I was not. He asked me if I was hungry and if I am he is willing to offer me some money for food though he says he doesn’t have much. He stays upstairs facing the apartment entrance lobby where I waited for my friend, and that he has observed me for awhile from his apartment before he decided to come down and approached me. And if he could help.


He walks with a limp with one ankle in bandage. I asked him about his limp. That was when he told me that he is recovering from a bad fall and showed me his injuries, one of which was on his spine which according to him, has undergone six operations. I asked him how he fell. He told me he jumped down from the flyover heading towards Penang bridge but did not die. For a second, I was stunned.


This man used to have a decent job as an executive in a factory. Until unbeknownst to him, he began to be inflicted with what he suspected was bouts of depression. Which forces him to do weird things. And gradually found himself incapable of helping himself.


He is sane in fact, unlike the perception I had of him which I had seen encountering some mental cases I have see in my course of living. I think this fall had him reflect back on the many good and some bad things he did in his past because he told me, a stranger, his many deeds. Which could be the consequence of him leaping down the flyover. He told me that each time he sees an animal being rolled over by passing cars, he will never hesitate to stop his car and give them a proper burial. He told me that one day he saw a piece of black cloth on the road with rusty nails inside. And after he cleared the road, that was when he began to have hallucinations and bad dreams . He reflected on many things he did when he was younger. And he thought everything that happened to him was a retribution. I think he was trying to discover the cause of his mental state of mind.


To me, I feel that he has done many good favours which far outweighs the menial things he did. In fact, I like this man, a lot. He asked me many questions which I am quite capable of discerning and help clear his doubts.


To me, here is a good man, maybe born to a poorer family but it is clear to me he suffers from something many people suffers from. Which is that he overthinks. Things like how money became the centre of living and what he can do with his life after the fall. Obviously he can’t go back to his previous job but I hope he will. I suggested Paralympics. But he told me he wasn’t keen on sports. I gave him hope and other options and try to clear his mind. And gave him some fatherly advice, the littlest I know about. He was sobbing as he recalled his life.


To cu the story short, never have I encountered such a good man with an indeed pleasant face. And a good heart. Though he isn’t as studious, I thought he deserve the best. I told him the next time I see him again, I want to see him as a young executive who has managed to pull back his life. After a failed suicide attempt which could not have been driven by his mental state but of things he touched. After so much goodness he has done for others. Even to me. It doesn’t matter if he is educated, or not as rich. But I thought to myself. That if I ever have a son, it would be him. For sure it would be him.


In our vicious world, a person like him would indeed be a blessing. It is indeed rare. Whilst others in the world goes through their humdrum life, here is a good man who outshines my shadow. Very unlike the many I know whom are selfish to themselves, striving for success which we can’t carry with us when we die, if we die. I salute this young man. Saved by his deeds.
And to the many younger generations outside, I wish to offer some advice. Our hand takes and holds, and our legs kick. If you ever see things lying besides or on the roadside or on your personal patio or the entrance to your home, never ever use your hand to pick it up. But you can use your leg to kick it aside. Charms are still abused by many people. But it cannot be transferred to you if you use your legs. But never ever use your hands.It sounds folkloric, but the practice did not change since thy kingdom come. Do not ever for once think you’d be protected because of your faith. Exorcism and deliverance applies to good people with strong faith.


I wish him the best.

Multiple Worlds

Posted by fiveloaf on

There are multiple worlds co-existing within our existence at the same time. Past, present and future worlds all hovering within, and possibly beyond our breathable air, and the day we as individual earthlings expire from this world would only mean that our soul would be teleported to another world and assume characters better equated to our understanding of what life is, without discounting heaven and hell as the two overtly emphasised extremities.

This hypothesis puts to rest the many mysteries surrounding sightings and events that went beyond the scope of normal scientific understanding, like how dreams appear when we’re in sleep mode, then dissipates the minute we open our eyes. It also explains how some people whom have passed off from this world eventually reappears, getting another chance at life inside a new womb years or decades later, after having spent some time exploring another world what is commonly termed as ‘reincarnation’ very much revered in Tibetan Buddhism.

Have you ever personally encounter writing objects mysteriously disappear from your own study table even though you could swear that was where you left it, and sometimes, reappears again years later? Can that be considered a form of reincarnation? Have you personally ever witness things that are not there like objects, shapes, people or light, feel movements on your body that is not real like bugs crawling on your skin or your internal organs are moving around, or smell things that do not exist, and hearing voices and sounds that no one else hears? These are medically termed as hallucinations as experienced by schizophrenia and bi polar disorder sufferers. But unlike hallucinations, have you ever heard of encounters with supernatural beings, some of disturbing form we termed as ghosts, others as gods and good spirits from another era even though you are of sound mind, is not on drugs of some kind and in perfectly good health? Have you ever wondered about fables and ancient stories of giants, gods and mythical creatures who lived amongst us now is no longer to be found? Have you ever watched documentaries of bizarre discoveries of objects so futuristic we have no explanation of its existence inside rubbles? How did they appear, then disappear like ships getting lost in the Bermuda Triangle? And the recent sightings of UFOs that appears and vanishes from behind clouds?

We were taught that a dot represents one dimension and a line is two. And objects that has form that could casts shadow as three. We then conveniently classify and group all ghosts and apparitions as fourth. But is there a possibility that there are more dimensions than those we are familiar with beside heaven and hell that we were taught about? Fifth dimension? Sixth? Are they countable? Where do they end?

Parallel universe is not a new hypothesis but has limited following. It is a theory denounced and kept away by the religious who repeatedly stress on the two extremities, believing only in heaven or hell, and to Catholics, keeping all the souls of unbaptised infants and the just who passed off before the coming of Christ into a place called ‘limbo’ ~ without wanting us to take comfort for the fact that there are many other plains of existence co-existing amongst us at the same time.

To be teleported from one existence to another, we needed to die or sleep, and with it, opens an escape window or a door which routes us to another space and time, depending on where we fit in (and not only the good to heaven and the bad to hell as we are conditioned to believe) ~ very much like the apps on our phones or channels on our television where with just a click, we are teleported and transported to another plane of activity. The movie ‘Everything Everywhere All At Once’, offers a glimpse of what multi verse means similar to what is stressed here.

Science has taught us to believe that all it takes is to build faster spaceships to frontier our universe in search of intelligent life which might take millions of light years to reach and perhaps another thousand years of advancement in technology. To them, it is an inter-galactic thing. That other existence is found in other galaxies. But is it possible that these different existence coexist in the same plane in this lifetime in this universe, much like frequencies of a radio? Doesn’t that explain the age old Chinese believe that when our spirits are low, we’d encounter ghosts? Still, to enter or exit one frequency, we needed an opening. That door or window which hovers amongst us but is invisible to us, but through that opening or openings in the sky or sea or land or in the back of our mind, is where the UFOs and apparitions say hello to us, and sometimes vanishes, not only our pens and eraser, but cars, and ships as well. And that door or window that hovers in the atmosphere acts as the app to these different planes of existence? So where is that door or window located? Could there only be one door? Or multiple doors? Do they have a fixed location just like the Bermuda Triangle or are they always hovering but scattered around the globe? Is there a time they appear or disappear? Or are they found in the back of the minds of every living being? Which is how that period of inactivity as we sleep is when we’re entering an unknown frequency which allows us to dream? And a deeper slumber known as death is when we enter a new plane of existence never to return? If it is an inter-galactic thing, we would be able to dream, traverse to that space, play our episode and then escape from it all in a night’s of sleep, wouldn’t we?

Although it isn’t wrong to belief in heaven and hell, and the believe in God as the creator of all life and the world, it is not plausible enough to explain all the paranormal facets and mysteries of life that leaves us boggled till today not unless we keep an open mind.

Because one day after death, you might just be a shepherd thriving in the desert, and I might be one of those heroic characters reliving the historical novel ‘Romance of the Three Kingdoms’.

Again there is yet another unexplained mystery and sightings, mostly horrible and ghostly, of spirits living amongst us, scaring many out of their wits in dark alleys and abandoned abodes in the darkest of nights, of those who succumbed to tragic accidents and deaths where the souls of victims did not deport. The Catholics has a term for it when describing the killing of Cain and the ‘Massacre of the Innocents’. What is commonly known as ‘souls that cries out to heaven’. And many Asian families vehemently perform rites of vengeance through mediums, summoning these tragic souls to seek revenge and relief against the unknown perpetrators which they believe is the rightful thing to do before these unfortunate souls can be teleported to the rightful new world. The Chinese on the other hand has rites in ode of these tragic souls where offerings were left at the roadsides in particular nights and the Gates of Hell is opened. It is on the seventh month of the lunar calendar what is known as the ‘Hungry Ghosts Festival’. The question to ask is why can’t tragic souls find the window or door out to another world? Or have they and this is just a belief? And are all their perpetrators lined up straight towards hell?

As a footnote, science has uncovered that the structural and functional unit of all living beings are made up of cells. These cells consist of proteins, which are a type of molecule, together with water, which is another molecule, and other elements which all made up different molecules. And molecules are really a collection of atoms. Water is composed of Oxygen and Hydrogen atoms, and proteins are made of Carbon, Hydrogen, Oxygen, as well as other different component parts. Therefore, the molecules that makes up the cells of the body are really vibrating atoms which when collided or dispersed could shape-shift as we assume the life of another being we are destined to.

Just my two cents.

Ego or Spirit

Posted by fiveloaf on

A person is either led by ego or by spirit.

When a person is led by ego, it simply means that they believe peace, love and happiness only happens after they have surrounded themselves with everyday material things they possibly ever wanted. And so their endeavour in life, or in friendship is to surround themselves with people whom they think can help them accomplish their goal or be of benefit to them. Otherwise, they’ll keep a distance.

If a person is led by the spirit, they believe that everything will fall into place once they have found love. And with love, nothing is too hard to accomplish. Beginning with peace and happiness.

We will not get anywhere with a partner who thinks otherwise of us.

As Christians, we are all called to be led by the spirit. And with spirit comes love. Our bible preaches love. And Jesus did famously once say that ‘Love is Enough’. So are two lines of God’s Ten commandments which Moses carried down from Mt Sinai. And if we could all trust in the spirit to guide us, so it was promised that love, peace and happiness would eventually flow into our lives. Some are even convinced that it doesn’t stop there. It includes trivial things that matters to many, like materialism.

However, in today’s society, the ego led far outweighs the spiritually guided. The same woman who squats up and down the pew every weekend year in year out to give praise and thanks to God is ironically the same woman who wouldn’t tie the nuptial knot with a man who could only offer them a glimpsed hope of financial stability. They will reason with him why love is not enough and that they couldn’t be possibly feeding on sunshine and fresh air alone. Any man who professes their love without backing up with financial stability to them is not being realistic. This same woman will forgo character faults and imperfections for as long as the man is rich enough. Even if the man is taken.

And thus, one ponders if their faith in God is grounded without so much as trusting in God’s words? And why go church then to give thanks and praise when his words they refuses to heed? Are the teachings of the church to blame? Having faith is one thing. But being spiritual is another.

Churches may have grown bigger and bolder in size. But did the faith of the laities grow in tandem? If not, why then must it outgrow its waistline if it bleeds in contrast to the meekness and humility of Mary, the bedrock and mother of the church which Peter was assigned to build? The church has fallen under the weight of naivety, and hypocrisy is central to its sin. Old wine will certainly burst in new skin. It has grown in darkness because it manifests the shallowness, and understanding of its laities. There are many eggs around but what’s the use if they are all rotten? For a good tree will bear good fruit. And a bad tree, bad fruit. Does this explain the attitude of parents who discourages their daughters to marry the poor? Or that the parents are merely being protective therefore they are proactively guiding without understanding that the ways of the world are not God’s ways?

If you ask me, right now as I am deep in my thoughts, I think that women who latches onto men for material comfort a.k.a. ‘Conditional Love’ instead of genuinely loving him for love’s sake, is going to wean herself off once the milk and honey no longer flows. Facing with that kind of situation, it is better for a man to stay single, work hard and stay happy than being married to a miserable woman who nags and craves for something more than the intimacy of hearts, but are not willing to strive through hardship together.

This explains how a women who is ego led, who surrounds herself with material comfort, will keep on searching for happiness in her relationship. Because if she could recall, she wasn’t acquainted to the man just for love alone. So her relationship sad to say, has no substance. And there’s always emptiness in her heart and a void in her soul. And bless all the woman who took the leap for love and toiled with him till success rains down from heaven. Because to this kind of woman, the promise of God is always there, for as long as one is spirit led.

The speaker of truth has no friends.

And I am a purist.

If the same consolation is used year in year out, that all have sinned, maybe the church should be reminded that it had already been two thousand years. Is the church thriving on sin to remain relevant? Or should the laities stay uninformed so that the mystery of the holy trinity remains till perpetuity? And hypocrisy is allowed? If all have fallen thus the need for God, then why single some people out over your own self and nail them to the cross when it should be your own bitchiness that should be nailed? To pacify your imagery holiness as gatekeepers of heaven? My ember did not fade. I was also chosen by God and not by you. And my blood still runs. And for as long as my grey matter still works, I will still continue to unravel the mysteries of the unpleasant. And for as long as I can reason correctly, no, I won’t return to church.

I don’t need it.

Merry Christmas.

Casting out Charm

Posted by fiveloaf on

To know if a person is charmed (In Hokkien’Tiok Kong Thau’), experienced mediums or deliverers will look into the victims pupil and observe its dilation and sheen.

To confirm his suspicion , he will make the suspect crawl under fishing nets left basking at the beach during sunrise or make him cross a river. For it was said that evil spirits wouldn’t cross a river or sea, and so are charms.

For if a person can do that with ease, that means he/she is not suffering from some kind of charm or possession. Evil spirits will also get themselves trapped in the net and so are charms, therefore the possessed will refuse to crawl beneath them. That is the reason why fishing nets has always been part of the accoutrement found above door entrances in shophouses, besides the more popular pakua ‘Eight trigrams’ used in Taoist rituals that has a curve mirror smacked in the centre of it.

If a person is found charmed, the medium or bomoh will first search for the ‘opening’, a gateway where the charm enters from, and then determine the origin of the charm inflicting him. That opening is usually an object left in the garden or main door of the home of that person charmed. Without that gateway, the charm cannot enter the home and attack the person. Evil spirits can also enter homes through other means, like sneaking under umbrellas for instance, which is also another reason why locals shun carrying open umbrellas when they enter into their own houses at night, whilst our fellow Malay friends washes their feet before entering.

The openings or gateway are usually claypots wrapped in cloth left perched in between branches of a tree. Inside the pot, depending on the severity of the infliction, were found rusty nails, amongst other things. The colour of the cloth will also determine where the charm originates from. That will direct the medium to the source if he needs to seek aid, if the charm is too powerful hence refuses to leave that person. A yellow cloth is left by a Chinese shaman, the red, by the Thais, and the black, the Malays. So it was believed that the most fearful charms comes from the Thais.

When they are found, the medium will then perform some incantations, climb up the tree, and dislodge it by the kick of his feet. The act of kicking or knocking it down with the feet is sacred, for if hands were used, the charm will also enter the medium when he picks it up. Other than football, our feet cannot pick up things.

Hence the old wives tale of shunning the idea of picking up things left on the roadside not meant for you.

~ Strange Occurrences 2 ~

Posted by fiveloaf on

Out of the few places I have ever lived, Fidelio Street was the most memorable. That was way back in 1981-2. We moved into that scruffy one story terrace link which was once occupied by my 3rd Ee but now has become my 2nd auntie’s abode. As a tagger, she gave me a room at the very end which in those days I believe was the utility. She didn’t inform me earlier that we are moving off from Joo Chiat Road, till very late and when I found myself there, she told me that her whole family is going back to Penang for Chinese New Year leaving her 3rd daughter Janice who works as an assistant manager at a fast food restaurant alone with me.

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If my memory serves me right, I couldn’t leave because exams was drawing near and I was catching up on some late assignments I think. Janice is today Dennis by the way after having a legalised sex changed operation in Singapore. So all’s good as I remembered the new bus route I needed to take , and carried on my routine as usual. (My routine also includes my daily diversion to Orchard Road to meet my outside friends. Rich spoilt kids but really a few of the most endearing people I have ever met).

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On the first night, I found myself alone after unlocking the gate, then the main door and back to my tiny ‘cell’. I cleaned myself up and rested on the lower deck of the double decker bed provided me, with my right side of my face exactly facing the room door. Right where my toes are is one wardrobe with its side facing me and another wardrobe facing it which is the wall of the entrance where the room sits. Thus where my torso was till my legs, there was a retro sideboard with a low table top and a large mirror. Very fashionable in those days. There I placed my talcum powder, comb, hair gel, etc. My needs were simple. As I was about to catch forty winks, I could hear the main door of the house open, then closes. By the way, between my room and the main door which is the family cum living area sat the air well and the bath stall we use with a separate water closet. But all’s good as I was expecting my cousin to be home. I could hear the footsteps walking in , but instead of stopping where her bedroom was, the steps came in nearer and nearer. She must be wanting to use the bathroom I thought but the footsteps walked right through into my room! without even opening the door! I was tensed up for a moment as the steps walked to the sideboard , and I could feel the presence of someone fiddling with my things because of the sound it made. I dare not open my eyes then because I remembered my bedroom door was a latched type kind where there was no lever on the outside!

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My mind was racing and I closed my eyes tightly but caught myself fiddling with the blanket provided me with my toes which is at the far end of the bed. When my hands could grab it, I covered myself with it and hid under. And I was sweating profusely not because of the warmth the blanket could bring ! I was hoping for the sound to end and whoever that is to go away . It did finally, but not until I was chanting the usual ‘Amithaba’ that all Buddhist were taught of, which is a form of protection. Whilst chanting, my mind envisions a room full of strange, very distorted furnitures almost like an attic. Not long after that scene ended, in my mind, I could only see darkness. Then a door of light opens up shining brightly, then did the whole experience normalize by itself.

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I shared this with my cousin the next morning and she was also taken aback . We agreed to a time and waited for each other at the bus stop before we walked back together each evening for about a week or so, taking turns to stake out as we bath.

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Many years later, as I sat back with my cousins reminiscing the old days, one cousin who used to lived there with her parents recounted one moment whilst their family was at the living watching tv , her adopted brother ( hardly 5 yrs old I think) came in to tell them that there was an old lady with long hair all white waving for him to come. That happened at the air well.

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I’m sorry I don’t have a photo of that premise.

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END.

Strange Occurrences

Posted by fiveloaf on

This event happened many years ago when I was just backed from Singapore. Around 1987-1988?

It was late, around 1am in the morning and I was still sitting on my table doing drawings for my clients due to dateline. I was in the middle hall, with a doorway which opens to a bedroom on the left and a staircase to the right before one gets to the large living hall, then the driveway, then the gate and then, the road. The table I used to work on was oriented to face the front of this large semi detached house inside the hall with louvre windows flanking the entire length of the left wall. I was basically doing sketches when a flash of very bright lights zoom passed me across my left. I looked to the side, then looked down again, little did I pay heed. After a short while, I thought I heard a sound similar to a large iron ball rolling on the parquet flooring upstairs and because it is overhead of where I sat meaning upstairs I thought to myself that it could be a rat running across. But then the sound went diagonally from the other corner of the hall where I sat, and it rolled diagonally to the back of the hall, my behind. I didn’t quite pay heed because on my desk is a project screaming to be completed. The next minute, at the very same end, again that object rolled from behind me and went back to the same spot it first came from. On the ceiling. I didn’t think much about it but I knew it was kind of unusual and because it was late, I didn’t want to scare myself so I got up, and hurried upstairs to sleep.

At that time, living in this house was just my mom, my brother, my Ji Ku (2nd uncle), Devi, our maid and me. I was given the last room where my Tua Ku uses but he had passed away. Above the hall where I sat is another hall, then does it reaches my back room. I took a quick glanced at that space where I heard the sound from. But there was, just sitting there, a tall brass bed my grandma uses and some old furnitures. Nothing else. I went to sleep. This house actually belongs to my grandma. But not long after she passed on, the siblings agreed to sell it because business wasn’t doing well.

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And for those who doesn’t believe in phenomenas such as this, that was quite an experience. And, it is also an unlucky house. For those who knew, that house took away two lives, my maternal grandma’s, and my Tua Ku’s ( mom’s brother), and apart from that, my granduncle’s first and second wife, though they don’t live together, all, a year apart from each other. So for four years in a row, imagine we were all wearing black. For four years, we didn’t celebrate Chinese New Year.

Mom and my 2nd auntie used to be firm believers in mediums etc and because of the string of bad luck inflicting everyone, they were told by one medium that there is something which my grandma kept which should be appropriately, in spiritual terms, sent off. So the house was bustling as they were ransacking grandma’s possessions. Grandma kept a lot of things since pre war days so the house in s way do look like an attic. And guess what they found stashed below her four poster bed? A deity (Jepun Hood) which she has not worshipped for years! Whether that was the spirit living inside the house that was disturbing everyone because of neglect, we will never know.

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Long after we vacated this place, I asked my mom how did she end up in the room downstairs when she has her own, preferring to share a room with our maid? Because I noticed that , maybe six months before we moved out , but didn’t want to ask her earlier. She was older and I also thought it cumbersome for someone older to want to climb stairs. Only then did she relate to me that there was once she saw a big black genie choking her. And she got frightened. My younger brother, who was once occupying the front room facing the road, then joined in and told us he was once also strangled by a huge black genie. Whether or not it is the same black genie or not, that I can’t be sure. I did t get to see it. He also told us that at one time, in the middle of the night, he thought he heard a sound of chains dragging on the tar road outside so he got up to inspect it. Lo and Behold! he saw the two Chinese Guardian of Hades, the cow head and the horse face strapping and pulling a man across the road!

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One day, I chanced upon our maid. She still oases by that house everyday because of her work commitment. She told me the night after we left, our neighbors whom she met told her they saw flashes of lights being switched on and off and the sound of what seems to be a legion of people shouting and screaming at each other. Obviously my neighbors could see everything because we share a common chain link fence.

The day when I found out that mom decided to move off from this place, I made a decision to go on my own, at the age of 24? and rented a small cubicle with its own entrance from a man whom much later became my faithful client because he generously offered me the job of designing his home where I stayed and he owns. Thus, from landlord, we too became friends after that. He told me his sister was fascinated with what I designed for him and asked if she could copy the design? So generously I said yes! without even asking for a gratuity or even asked him the location of his sisters house (although that design would have looked better with a slope access like his).

Time passes by and probably about six years later? , I went avisiting my landlord at his shop located at Chowrasta. The conversation went on and he popped the question as to where I was living before I moved into his place? He was completely overwhelmed as our conversation went one full circle to reach the doorstep of where this whole story arises, which is his sister’s home! Previously our home! (He is a Pakistani Muslim by the way)And I was relating to him this same story and experiences without realizing his sister is now occupying that house!

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He told me his sister bought it and since then, together with the husband, they are facing financial difficulties as business is not moving as fast as it should etc etc. He told me his sister also had similar encounters but hers was different . She felt the presence of someone always following her each time she climbs up or alight from the stairs. At first she didn’t want to alert her hubby but feeling the need to engage an Imam to reconsecrate the home which they actually did before moving in, she then told him. The imam once again got the home re-blessed and recommended them to hang holy scriptures all over which they did! But still, that thing did not stop. They then tried the bomohs as a last resort. That didn’t work also. The uncanny thing is, his sisters family is still living there today.

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A few years back when I returned to Penang and had to bypass this road, for memories sake, I had this picture taken. This was the place with the encounters.

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But the story hasn’t ended.

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Three to four years back, I stumbled upon my neighbor’s son who once lived next door to us. Although we don’t talk much those days and we were quite young, me around 23-24 and he was my junior, as a courtesy talk, I asked him how he and his family is, and reminiscing the old times. He told me, just what our former maid told us. He also told me of the many unrest in their house starting with his grandfather’s death and how their business empire fell. And their whole family broke up. He told me he had the house checked at the land office and through the records, there was an old (khu khar lau) bungalow on stilts that stood where the row of eight semi detached house were built on. His family also went to consult a Chinese medium who is also a seer who told them the developer did not perform the rites to appease the spirits that the land was sitting on because it was infested with many killings during the Japanese occupation period.

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But the house still remains until this day, unperturbed , and oddly, as I thought to myself, why didn’t my former landlord’s sister moved out? The plague in front of the house is still there so I assumed they are still residing inside.

Today that property would have cost rm2mil because it has a vast backyard. We sold it for rm350k then.

But then again, for us in the know, who would want it?

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