I have to admit that I was finding it pretty difficult to work out what to write this week, I mean just how much regurgitated shit can you manage to read or hear before getting writers block, until the Christmas present that was the incarceration of Der Fuhrer, so here it is, my take on the best and funniest news we at EBF have had all year.
Goldibollocks, you see, like the rest of his High Command think they are above the law, that when they are arrested, interviewed or confronted by the police that this is a plot by the establishment to silence them and the twelvty million supporters they purport to have. Well Goldibollocks, well Screechy, well shittroopers I have news for you, it’s not. The reason you are harassed, arrested,bailed or confronted is because it’s against the law.

Now it’s hard not to laugh at them, I know believe me, but trying to be serious for just one paragraph this is a quick résumé of what Goldibollocks did to get banged up. Earlier this year, to great fanfare and video on their page Goldibollocks, Screechy and the shittroopers visited Bury Park in Luton for a Christian patrol. Screechy went batshit crazy and verbally assaulted a young Muslim woman whilst bravely surrounded by the shittroopers and quite rightly Bedfordshire police got miffed about it. Screechy and Goldibollocks were bailed with certain stringent conditions. One of which was not to go into a mosque in the British isles without written permission. When it was time to come to court he played a blinder pled guilty and got a criminal record, Screechy was also hauled up and also got convicted of her part in the Bury Park fiasco. One thing remained though……..no more mosque invasions.
Whilst Screechy was out of the picture Goldibollocks and some pretty unsavoury activists went to Cardiff and entered a mosque without prior written consent, Goldibollocks says he didn’t go in but he was definitely the unhinged mastermind behind it. Thinking they had got away with it how they laughed. However behind the scenes the authorities decided that bending over and being fisted by the biffers on a weekly basis was pissing them off and hatched a cunning plan. Fast forward to Screechy’s trial and the announcement that Goldibollocks was to be charged for contempt of court. After much hissing and screaming at the establishment Goldibollocks relinquished control of Bifferdom to spend more time with his family. The more cynical amongst us knew this was a blinding legal move on his behalf as he could say he no longer had control.
On Thursday he went to court played a blinder, pled guilty and expected a slap on the wrist. Naughty boy Paul but as we’re so frightened of your online masses and your plethora of MPS, MEPs and councillors we’ll let you out just don’t do it again, was what he, his legal team and the biffer High command thought would happen. By all accounts his bottom lip trembled as he was told you’re going down for eight weeks, 4 suspended. You see Screechy, Goldibollocks and the rest of your tacky insignificant crew people get fucked off with being constantly disobeyed and you went too far.
Now we could go over the top and take the piss more, we could ask that he’s banged up with Muslims, or someone who calls him Pauline, but the others have too much class for that. Instead I’d like him to spend the 4 weeks in solitude, snivelling like the cowardly fuck he is. He won’t have his shittroopers there, no one to hold his hand if someone says something nasty to him.

I hope prison will break him, make him scared shitless, I hope that he’ll come out chastened by the experience, but I doubt it. In fact if you read comments from biffer towers you’ll see the twats are out and Screechy wants money to appeal. Appeal, fuck off you conning bunch of fucking arseholes. He pled guilty end of.
One of the comments I loved was,
“I bet if it was a Muslim he’d be free.”
To which one of our regulars wrote
“Hmmm, like Choudary.”
So what next for the biffers? Well Screechy will continue with her soapbox, spouting all sorts of absolute garbage, Stevie will continue his one man assault on Gregg’s, the shittroopers will continue to look as menacing as my little ponies and in 4 weeks time a fucked up Goldibollocks will emerge to the waiting throng of twelvty million press and sign a multi million pound deal with Brietbart to screen his life story. In all honesty, we just don’t know. One thing we are sure about is that this will lead to some more conning, a huge amount of racist and religious bigotry and Screechy screeching.
One more thing you can be sure of, once the offices collective hangover goes we’ll be there to fuck them up, we’ll be there to highlight their lies, we’ll be there to highlight their bigotry, we’ll be there to counter their get togethers and we’ll be there to highlight their cons.
But for this weekend I’m getting pissed, and staying pissed. Maybe, just maybe this will curtail their activities and that is something to raise a glass of Babysham to over the Xmas break. Now if you’ll forgive me I’ve got an unopened bottle of expensive Valpollicello to uncork and toast His Honour Judge Moloney for having the bollocks to stand up to the bully.
Toodlepip
We’ve waited a long time for this news. Sometimes we thought it would never happen. The big celebratory packet of chocolate Hobnobs has sat gathering dust on the EBF office shelf for far too many months, neglected and ignored. Only Kit would occasionally take it down from its place by the Facebook admin rota and stare deep into its plastic wrapping as though willing the chocolate out from between the oaty goodness within. With the iron determination of a Biffer waiting doggedly for evidence she steeled herself for a long delay before the celebrations could begin. But now she waits no longer.
Pahahahaahahahahahahahahahahahaha. They say something’s are constant in the world, like drinking to much over the festivities, the Queens speech, Nigel Fartage spouting crap and now the biffers latest begging bowl email which has me reaching for the Tena Man.
The government won’t proscribe you, however unfortunate that may be. They find you as irritating as dog shit on the bottom of their shoe but they really don’t see any need to take you seriously. The right wing groups they will go after are the ones that are really dedicated to violence and want to cause deaths. They’ll go after alliancess like National Action and a few of The infidel groups., not your mob of conmen Walt’s and foreign supporters. You can just about muster enough followers to take over my front room let alone anything else.
Finally the rise of the far right seems to have been checked for now, Hofer in Austria lost, citing Fartage as the problem, Geert Wilders found guilty in Holland but surprisingly not sentenced to anything (musht have been thosh shpeshel shiggerettes) and Uncle Jim and his pet racist, Griffin trying to fight KTI’s corner so badly that even Hitler’s mouthpiece The Daily Fail had a go at them.









The assassin known as Thomas Mair was convicted this week and as a white man I apologise for his terrorism. As the racists keep asking normal Muslims to apologise for Daesh I will get in first. Whether or not when he shouted “Britain First” he meant it as a battle cry or as a tribute to his favourite racists no one can be sure but the deafening silence from biffer towers and the pictures of him at one of their wanky days out prove it to me. The Nazi paraphernalia found shows that once again a line white terrorist is as bad as the Daesh ones.

Last Thursday, November 3rd we heard that Jayda Fransen had been convicted of religiously aggravated harassment and wearing political uniform. Why she wasn’t also done for failing to surrender to bail is a bit of a mystery but that’s OK. It was the least important of the three charges against her.
The fact is that almost before the ink was dry on the restraining order they were at it again. Paul Golding released an 11 minute long video slagging off the victim, the judge and the police, relying heavily upon extracts of CCTV that presumably were made available to BF as part of court processes and not for the purposes of further harassing the victim. We think that’s also a potential misuse of legal process. That’ll be for the courts to decide for sure though.