Jayda discusses her show trial

ebffluffy Fluffy, Jayda Fransen, Legal, Muslim, political uniform , , , , ,

bf-jayda-fransen-discussing-show-trial-lutonIt wasn’t a show trial, you stupid bint. It was a run of the mill, common or garden hearing in a Magistrates court to deal with a petty criminal.

I watched your video. You didn’t discuss the trial at all – not in any way that made sense.

You showed an edited video making it look like the other party started it.

Why don’t you show us the beginning? You know – the part where you single out the woman because she’s white and that goes against your small-minded idea of what Muslims should look like. Why not show us that part?

Why don’t you show yourself crossing the road to have a go at her in front of her kids?

Why don’t you just come clean and admit that you’re a great big fuck up – just like all the rest of Britain First?

You won’t do that because you’re just a liar. You and your arse-wipe leader, Golding. He’s a liar too. I was amazed at how many of your lies EBF has exposed when I started reading back through their blog and the Facebook memes of yours they’ve shown up. That’s why it’s so great to have been asked to join them. I can help put the final few nails on your coffins, you fuck-witted, neonazi scumbags.

In your video you soon stop talking about the trial altogether. No surprise there – there’s nothing you can say that won’t show you up for the sulky, whiney child you really are. So you go on to talk about the judge instead. If you thought that would make you less whiney, you’re wrong. It just makes you look even more stupid… and whiney.

Face it Jayda – you fucked up, you got caught, you have to take the shit that comes with it. That’s the British legal system.

If you don’t like our laws, Dutchy…. Fuck off back to Holland!

EBF has a new blog writer

ebffluffy Britain First, EBF, Exposing Britain First, Facebook, Fluffy, Jayda Fransen, Paul Golding, Robin Lomax, Steve Lewis , , , , ,

I’m ‘Fluffy’ and I’ll be joining the rest of the blogging team from now on. I hope you like what I have to say.

fluffy-logoI’m not one for pulling my punches – at least not in writing. I don’t mean throwing actual punches. That’s for scumbags like the Biffers who’ve no other way to get their point across. Actual debate’s beyond them so they intimidate and threaten people instead. When people who really aren’t clever enough for politics try to become a ‘legitimate political party’ they get hostile and make arses of themselves. And there’s no bigger arse than Golding.

So expect me to be a bit arsey back. I can’t help it – it’s in my blood.

I’ve been reading through all the previous blog entries here and I have to say it’s really made an impression. I knew Britain First was a bunch of wankers before but I didn’t know just how bad they were until this weekend. These people really are nasty – with a capital NASTY. If you haven’t already had a good look around the blog make a point of it. Especially look at the PDF downloads. They really do ‘Expose Britain First’.

I’m not going to get into the PDF writing thing myself. It looks like it’d take up a lot more time than I’ve got to play with. I’m planning on doing a sort of commentary on the Bifferati’s antics as stuff comes up. Like Grasser-Golding’s whiney video about Jayda’s court case. That might be my first proper blog. When I saw that I just laughed. He’s like a whiney-arsed kid who can’t handle not getting his own way. Come to think of it that pretty much sums up Britain First anyway. They’re mostly just childish little shits who can’t handle the fact that the rest of us don’t mind brown people.

Golding’s problem is he’s still a child. Fransen’s problem is she chose the wrong movement to back. She could have joined a different movement or cause and done such a lot better for herself. She’s the sort of hard-faced cow who’d rise to the top in loads of different groups. But instead of making a killing starting a fluffy-kitten appreciation club with lots of pictures of me and my furry little friends (imagine the Facebook likes that would attract) she joined the fascists instead. So now she’s bitter and a bit disappointed that she didn’t choose more wisely. Oh well. Never mind Jayda, lass. You’ve made your bed. Now you’ll just have to lie in it. Be careful though – Golding has a medical condition. You might want to look it up. It’s called nocturnal enuresis.

As for all the other Biffer glitterati, they’re hardly worth mentioning (but I will). There’s Lewis the middle-aged loser who sees the Biffers as his last chance to make something of himself. He’s right… it is… and he won’t.

Then there’s Lomax the military ‘expert’ who thinks pot noodles will be ok for field exercises in Wales. What a joke he is! He’ll be next for the political uniform charge, I should think. The arrogant little turd just won’t be able to help himself but wear his black ‘security’ hoodie with its ‘chief of staff’ badge sewn on like a cub scout’s jumper. I’ll have to watch him. He’s going to be too funny to ignore.

Lee Cooper’s keeping his head down. He might be waiting for further instructions from Jimbo about who to talk to next. He seems to be a bit of a go-between fencing deals between the money men and the street thugs. Guess which camp the Biffers fall into. I’ll give you a hint – they’ve no money.

There’s so many names to get familiar with. So many far right fools to take the piss out of. I hardly know where to start.

Most of the senior women have gone – defected to other fash groups before the Britain First legacy destroys them as well. So have most of the regular supporters of both sexes. Every event they hold gets less and less people attending. Even their supportive Facebook comments are nearly all from overseas. There aren’t many Brits left who haven’t seen through them. Even the genuine fash know that the Biffers are only about making themselves rich. That’s why they’ve all gone off to join other far right nationalist groups instead of giving all their spare cash to fund Golding’s and Fransen’s champagne lifestyle.

So I think I came in a bit too late myself. I’d have loved to be writing about the Biffers when they actually looked like they could’ve been something big. Reading back over the blog’s previous posts that looks like it might have been fun. But as Johnny-come-lately I’ll just have to put up with deriding them as they collapse. That’ll be fun too in its own way.

So look out for the moniker: Fluffy. You’ll be hearing more from me in the future.

 

It ain’t over just yet!

EBFBlogger Britain First, Dowson, Jayda Fransen, Jim Dowson, Legal, Paul Golding, political uniform , , , , , , ,

It’s been an excruciatingly long couple of days waiting to hear if Fransen would be sent down or not. To quote the ‘persecuted paytryoot’ herself… it’s been very ‘intense’. But now, finally the long wait has come to an end and we have both verdict and sentence.

bf-luton-magistrates-court-fransen-frightened-golding-smugJayda Fransen, Deputy leader of Britain First, neoNazi,  liar, bully, has been convicted on two counts. She was found guilty of wearing political uniform, a charge that both Fransen and Golding are trying to ridicule even though Der Fuhrer recently pleaded guilty to the same offence, thus making it almost impossible for Fransen to be acquitted today. Secondly she’s guilty of religiously aggravated harassment. The British judicial system has acknowledged what we already knew… Jayda Fransen is a vicious bully with nothing but contempt both for the law and for her fellow citizens.

As every reader of this blog will know, I’d have much preferred Fransen to have been sent to prison for her offences but that wasn’t to be. Instead she received a fine, costs and victim surcharge amounting to a total of £1,910 and a restraining order preventing her from harassing the victim for 2 years. Let’s look at these penalties in a little more detail.

judges-gavel
The court may have imposeded a fine, costs and victim surcharge but Fransen’s already raised more than enough fashcash from the Biffers to cover her Uncle Jimbo’s investment.

£1,900 is small potatoes to Fransen. She’s already raised more than that to pay her barrister.  So there’s no harm done there then, Jayda. Your gullible sheeple have already paid your fine for you. Not only that, you’ve enough left over for another jolly to Hungary to help Uncle Jim stir up the neoNazi thugs over there.

When Britain first put out their inevitable appeal for help with Jayda’s fine and costs please bear that in mind. They already have pocketed more than they need in their ‘legal defence’ appeal (unless the good Mr. Guest turned out to be much more expensive than might reasonably be anticipated). Jimbo must be laughing all the way to the bank. His little legal speculation has paid off handsomely with absolutely no financial risk to himself at all.

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Is this video in breach of Fransen’s injunction? We think so.

The 2 year injunction is interesting too. Or rather Fransen and Golding’s response to it is. On the very afternoon that the injunction was put in place the despicable duo made and uploaded a video singling out and verbally abusing both the District Judge and the victim. The first set of comments might reasonably be seen as contempt. The second appear to be a blatant and deliberate breach of the injunction almost before the ink is wet on Fransen’s acquiescing signature. We’re sure that Luton police will want to have a word with the court about that.

In summary then…

Two out of three convictions isn’t bad,

Prison time would have been more to our tastes but those are the breaks,

A freshly broken injunction might well mean that this saga is far from complete.

And, of course – we still have Golding’s return to the High Court for breach of his injunction to look forward to. It looks like the coming season of goodwill might be a bit more festive for team EBF than we’d anticipated.

Ho ho ho!

Fransen on trial – And Golding for dessert!

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Yesterday morning Jayda Fransen and Paul Golding posed for the obligatory Biffergraph outside Luton Magistrates’ Court. The occasion was day 1 of Fransen’s trial on three separate charges, all of which seem ‘open and shut’ conviction material to us. But then we haven’t seen all the evidence or heard all the arguments. It was interesting to note the different expressions on the pair’s faces though. Fransen looked nervous, as though she knows she’s fighting a hopeless case and is likely soon to be viewing the world from the prison windows. Golding on the other hand looked smug.  He too knows that Jayda will most probably be ‘going away’ for a while and it’s easy to imagine him planning to rebuild his power base without his more popular rival. One might even think he’d planned just this sort of coup from the start when he first began encouraging his deputy to do all the things he was too scared to do himself. It’s hardly surprising he looked smug.

bf-luton-magistrates-court-fransen-frightened-golding-smug
Golding seems smug but Fransen’s face shows only fear

After the Biffergraph all went quiet. The case had been slated to begin at 10am and not a peep was heard from inside the court. The few public seats were taken up either by the press or by Biffer ‘security’ whose tight-lipped stares and grim demeanour made it very clear to all other members of the public that they wouldn’t be welcome inside the court for the duration. Team EBF, deprived of eyewitness contact inside the court itself only had to wait until lunchtime though, safe in the knowledge that Dutchy and Der Fuhrer wouldn’t be able to help themselves and another Biffermovie would soon be online. We guessed right!

It’s difficult to feel the outrage Golding is trying to convey when you’re fighting back tears of laughter in order to keep on listening as the sad story unfolded. Suddenly Golding wasn’t quite so smug any more. He thought he’d gone for a 2 day jolly in Luton to watch the court take Fransen out of his hair. Perhaps he’d expected to look up old BNP buddies like Tommy Robinson while he was in the area. Two days of beer, Biffergraphs and best of all – a bloodless coup that would remove his greatest threat from play long enough for him to bury her memory and destroy her credibility within the movement. If only, if only, if only that had been true.

BF Luton court Golding served not so smug now.png
Fuhrer Golding – not so smug-looking, now!

Instead Mr. Smugface got something else entirely.  Two uniformed police officers from the Luton and Bedfordshire constabulary presented him with a legal pack and a summons. It seems that he also has to answer for breaking his High Court Injunction. We can’t say we’re surprised. The Biffers have been flouting the terms of their voluntary injunction almost since the day they signed it. So Paul will be in court himself before too long. Not here in Luton though. This is the High Court where he (and possibly Jayda too) will answer charges of contempt, a crime which as Golding rightly points out is a serious, imprisonable offence. It’s not the most promising start to your bid to regain control of the Biffers, is it Paul?

Of course we really don’t know for sure what’s in the folder Golding was presented with. We don’t even know for sure that it came from the police. The Biffers have lied about important developments before, after all. But if it is true… if Golding really is to stand trial too… there’s the distinct possibility that both he and Fransen will be banged up at the same time. That’s like cutting the head off a chicken and watching it run around until it runs out of energy and falls over. With no adequate candidate to replace them the Britain First chicken probably won’t run around for long before it dies altogether.

So come on Magistrates… come on Judges… Between you, you can see these feckless fascists off for good. Please make it so… we’ll be your best friends if you do!

Fransen on trial – let the proceedings commence

EBFBlogger Britain First, Jayda Fransen, Legal, Paul Golding, political uniform , , , ,

Today the long-awaited trial of Jayda Fransen begins. By tomorrow night we should have a verdict. We’ll have cause either for celebration at the effective demise of Britain First or for frustration at the apparent ease with which these wannabe storm-troopers of the new British Reich seem to flout the law at every turn. Obviously we hope for a severe penalty but in truth, like everybody else, we’ll have to wait and see.

bf-ebf-jayda-fransen-what-a-numptie

It will be interesting to observe just what happens to the Biffers if Jayda does get sent down. It’s not as though Der Fuhrer will have the bottle to take her place. For all his bravado Paul Golding consistently complied with every request or demand the courts made of him.

He signed on every week at his local police station while Fransen tore up her bail sheet and refused to attend.

He settled out of court, playing ‘a blinder’ which saw him concede to every demand made by Luton police.

He bottled it and ran away when Jayda needed him to contest the ‘political uniform’ charge as a way to ensure her own acquittal.

He never did anything that put him at risk of imprisonment. Let’s face it… Der Fuhrer really hasn’t got any balls. At least Hitler had one (according to a popular wartime ditty).

bf-paul-golding-answering-bailSo if Fransen is locked up we can probably expect Paul to fade away too. He’s not brave enough to take on actual policemen without his more courageous sidekick and his grovelling performance both in and out of court has already made him a laughing stock. All Golding’s ever really done in his brief period of infamy is terrorised old men in empty Mosques and sent threatening letters to single women. He’s nowhere near as popular with the rank and file Biffers as Jayda is either. He’s even less dynamic as a speaker than Jayda. He’s less courageous and he certainly doesn’t have her sex appeal. Fransen may not be the world’s most attractive woman… her mean-spirited personality destroys any skin-deep beauty she might otherwise enjoy… but Golding’s nothing more than a slug in human form.Even most British fash think he’s a joke.

But what of Jayda herself? What will 6 months or a year of porridge do for her?

In truth, we don’t really know. She may come out all the stronger for it but that seems unlikely. Her failure of confidence in and immediately after Burton-on-Trent revealed just how hard it is for her to maintain the façade of impassioned, fearless stalwart of the cause. It seems very likely that a taste of life behind bars will have a sobering effect on her too – especially since any subsequent convictions will be likely to result in even stiffer penalties.

That’s why we hope for a custodial sentence this week. Not because we particularly want Jayda to suffer (although we won’t lose too much sleep if she does) but because there’s nobody within Britain First’s leadership with the courage to carry on following such a blow. We strongly suspect that if Fransen goes down this week Britain First will never recover.

Britain First really isn’t a British version of Hitler’s National Socialism. Britain First lacks the leadership and the dedication to weather even the gentlest of storms and Fransen’s incarceration would be a blow quite beyond their mettle. Golding might carry on releasing pointless videos but he’s already lost his way in the minefield of legal restrictions he surrounded himself with. Like the inept decorator he really has painted himself into a corner with his ridiculous antics. There may be some desperate displays of substanceless bravado but that will be all. And Fransen, even once she gets out of pokey will be in no position to rally the troops to her – subsequent penalties will be too great a deterrent.

We hope for a custodial sentence at the end of this trial because it’ll mean the end of Britain First in all but name!

BF Shame of a nation.png

Fransen’s failure: Not quite the show trial she’d hoped for

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Many of us have long suspected that Jayda Fransen, unlike her cowardly Master, Paul Golding, has deliberately courted legal proceedings as part of her leadership bid. It’s well known that her brief failure of confidence in Dudley lost her Dowson’s support, effectively destroying her hopes of the Britain First Fuhrership, at least for a while.  After Dudley’s failed demonstration Jayda disappeared for several weeks, presumably licking her wounds and nursing her injured pride but then she returned with a vengeance. Since then she’s clearly and deliberately baited the police and the courts, refused to answer Bail (whilst her brave Master consistently turned up like the puppy he is) and even now posts videos of Luton Muslims on line in contravention of a court order. She’s even risking prosecution for attempting to pervert the course of justice by proclaiming her biased version of events online prior to the trial date.

BF Jayda Fransen court trial Luton give them hell.pngIt may not immediately be obvious to all EBF readers just what Fransen might be trying to achieve with all this conspicuous law-breaking. To us it’s clear – she’s copying her ideological predecessor just as she does in so many other of her policies and behaviours. Jayda has borrowed many speeches and key phrases from Hitler, Goering and Streicher in the past. Now she’s trying to recreate Hitler’s famous show-trial of 1924.

She’s even promised to “Give them Hell in court”, clearly planning to imitate former corporal Hitler who used his three-day trial to unite the fractured German right under Nazism.

We’re always sorry to disillusion people, especially when they’ve staked their entire career on flawed logic but we think it’s important for Jayda’s own sake that she has a clear idea both of the judicial and the political reality before she carries out her ill-advised attempt to give anybody Hell. Presumably she won’t want to add contempt of court to the three charges she’s already facing. Far from making her a nationally recognised political martyr the result is likely to make her an even bigger joke and loser than she is already.

Here’s why Jayda’s appearance before the beak will be nothing like Hitler’s ideological triumph after the failed November Putsch…

Hitler was already well-known

beer-hall-putsch-hitler-1923Adolf Hitler had been working away at uniting the far right for many years by the time he appeared in court. Starting as an unknown speaker in Munich’s beer halls his personal charisma and compelling prowess as an impassioned public-speaker had been drawing huge crowds for years. He had the support of at least two major paramilitary groups, (the Brown shirts and the Steel helmets) and was a regular guest of Berlin’s political and financial high society. This ability to mix with people from all backgrounds, together with his oratory skill made him a household name.

Fransen is a little-known wannabe fascist who can’t manage more than a hundred or so listeners at rallies, even when they’ve been planned and advertised for months. Britain First’s recent national conference in London involved only 25 people from the whole of the UK.  Hitler’s offence, The Beer Hall Putsch involved several hundred of his followers, hastily organised and sufficiently dedicated to drop everything at their leader’s beck and call. Fransen has no such network of willing footsoldiers, no senior political contacts and no sympathy within the judiciary. The context for Jayda’s hearing in Luton is very different from Hitler’s.

BF Jayda Fransen 25 in audience London conference.png

Hitler had senior contacts

By the time of his trial in 1924 Adolf Hitler had wormed his way into the drawing rooms and private clubs of some of the Weimar republic’s most influential ‘movers and shakers’. The best Fransen has been able to manage is to act as ‘marketing totty’ for terrorist-sympathiser, Jim Dowson to make a fast few quid out of gullible British fash.

The judges were sympathetic to Nazism from the outset

Following the almost impossibly hard terms of the Treaty of Versailles in 1919 the German people struggled with starvation, unbelievably rapid inflation and almost impossible conditions of life. Extreme politics were commonplace and both the far left and the far right had formed violent militia, sometimes hundreds of thousands strong, resulting in genuine running battles on German streets. Centrist politics were being squeezed out and most citizens found themselves having to choose between one extreme or the other, if only because everyone else was becoming increasingly impotent.

beer hall putsch 1923 sa storm division Munich.jpg
Brown-shirted SA (Storm division) militiamen were hastily mobilised in support of Hitler’s Beer Hall Putsch in November 1923

In modern UK no such polarisation applies. There are no armed, uniformed militia terrorising UK streets and our judges and magistrates don’t need to favour any extremes at all.

Hitler was a charismatic speaker

The few televised clips regularly trotted out on popular TV documentaries don’t really do justice to Hitler’s oratory. He was more than just the shouty man so regularly portrayed on our TV screens. Eyewitness accounts make clear the immense preparation that went into Hitler’s versatility as a speaker. He would build in cadence and volume, gradually becoming more and more flamboyant as his oratory rose to crescendo after crescendo, each one punctuating a speech that itself built relentlessly in tempo and passion until he almost hypnotized the audience be it one thousand or one hundred thousand strong.

Fransen by comparison appears hesitant, nervous and occasionally apologetic whenever she takes to the stage. Even her video rants on ‘Jayda’s soapbox’ are amateurish by comparison. She’s no orator and she’s no potential leader of a new British Reich. If Jayda tries to eulogise for some bygone Britain the way that Hitler used his trial to mourn a lost Germany, she’ll very quickly either shut up or be done for contempt of court. This is to be a court appearance – not a political rally.

Fransen Hitler speaker no comparison.png

Hitler’s crime mattered to the average man in the street

Adolf Hitler had assembled several hundred armed veterans and surrounded a Munich beer hall. They had taken hostage members of the political and aristocratic elite (including nationally respected war hero, General Erich Ludendorff) and genuinely planned to overthrow the German government. That’s a serious crime attracting serious media coverage.

judges-gavelJayda Fransen is rude, bigoted and brazen but she really hasn’t done anything to come close to her uncle Adolf’s attempted Putsch.

Basically the Deputy Fuhrer of Britain first might believe she’s being clever by taking on the establishment in the political show-trial of the century but actually she’s just going to be one more ‘business as usual’ prosecution in a minor Magistrates’ court that really doesn’t give two hoots about her plans. The magistrates are just there to uphold the law, whether Fransen likes it or not.

It’s a boy!

EBFBlogger Britain First, EBF, Exposing Britain First, Jayda Fransen, Muslim, Paul Golding, Tolerance , , ,

stork and babyA few days ago I made hubby the happiest man in the world. Don’t get me wrong, he wasn’t unhappy to begin with and I know he loves our two girls to pieces but last Tuesday morning something altogether different happened. Last Tuesday I gave him a son. I thought Hubby was going to burst when he first held our gorgeous, perfect little boy. Now he’ll have an excuse to buy trainsets and airfix models and pretend it’s ‘just for the lad, you know’.

Forgive the lack of baby photographs or other details that might be used to identify our family but you all know what it’s like. This is a happy time for us and I’m not about to let anyone spoil it with protests against mixed marriages or any other Biffer nonsense about brown Muslim men ‘stealing’ white British women away from proud, patriotic white blokes. Nobody stole me. I love my beautiful brown man but even if I didn’t, there’s no way I’d be interested in the racist Neanderthals of Britain First anyway.

But enough of them. I promised Hubby I wouldn’t let myself get too distracted by racist cockwombles now that we have a brand new human to care for. One thing that’s become really obvious over the last few months is that life is too beautiful to waste worrying about immature hate-mongers like Dutchy and Der Fuhrer. I’ve promised team EBF that I’ll still write the odd piece for them. In truth I don’t think I’ll be able to resist, especially now that I won’t be working for a while. But I won’t be writing anything like as regularly as I used to.

But as I sit here with my feet up in front of the telly, a tiny, warm little person snuggling in to my neck and shoulder I can’t help but wonder about the sort of world my little boy will inherit. There’s so much hatred to be overcome right now – especially hatred toward children both here in UK and across the channel in France. I’m reminded of a verse from one of my favourite songs… ‘The night I heard Caruso sing’ by ‘Everything but the girl’.

“I thought of having children but I’ve gone and changed my mind
It’s hard enough to watch the news, let alone explain it to a child
To cast your eye across nature, over fields of rape and corn
And tell him without flinching not to fear where he’s been born”

I’m determined that my three children will grow up knowing how to love, not how to hate.

Maybe it’s time to think about a different song. This one’s by the Beatles…

“All you need is love”

A view from a barstool #39 by Landlord

ebfmarcia Britain First, Jayda Fransen, Jim Dowson, John Broomfield, Landlord, Paul Golding, Robin Lomax, Steve Lewis, Tony Carmello, View from a barstool , ,

Beer 2“It’s the most wonderful time in the world” so the Christmas song goes. Nope the grumpy, athiest Landlord hasn’t taken leave of his senses nor has the barmaid ran off with me. It’s the time that some unwashed lefty landlords and I get together to do CAT tests on the promotional barrels of Hobgoblin (rather a lot of them) and discuss all things fascist and how we go about countering them around the country. Also they help me to write this blog. Last year they helped me on Bigot brother or big Bigot, this year we have come up with a new soap opera, Bigot Street. Hopefully someone picks it up or it could be a bigger failure than Eldorado. Forgive me any typos please, writing this after a few pints of the nectar probably isn’t the best time to do this.

This is set in a street that the fash dream of, a late 50’s terrace and people leaving the doors open. At number one a rather rotund gentleman known as Goldibollocks lives, a British flag or seven decorating both front and back, so it appears there are more people there than is thought, he appears to be the leader of the gang. He doesn’t work for a living just cons everybody and pretends to be a political heavyweight whilst being shit scared to enter into debates.

At number two is a loud mouthed harridan called Screechy who spends her days again not working but living off the begging bowl. Everyday she changes her security arrangements paid for by unsuspecting members of the public that think she does more than just screech at anybody that doesn’t pray to her particular god. She also tells all that she is a legal whizz having studied at Bigot Street’s local college, ‘The School of Hard Knocks’. She appears to have a hatred of anyone that doesn’t think the same way or is slightly tanned. She was in awe of Goldibollocks but now appears to be happier with her uncle.

Number 3 is the local newsagents, ran by a man who everyone calls Uncle Jim. He seems to like black and white flags and calling for crusades. He has all the newspapers in the shop, The Express, Mail, Brietbart. He’s the local lay preacher that hates homosexuality, Catholics and Islam. This could change depending on who he can fleece the most out of. He hates socialism but seems a bit taken by the Russian president.

Number four is a Fatman who works at the bakery. This bakery sells nothing but pies. He is a touch more literate than the others and although the bakery never opens although there always appears to be pies there in the morning. Mr Lewis is also treasurer of the streets council as he has the batteries for the calculator and the typewriter. He also can’t be trusted with the local church fêtes banner as it seems he loses them too easily.

Number Five is lived in by security guard Lomax. He is never seen without a stab vest, body camera, dodgy gloves and heavy walking stick. He seems obsessed with Screechy and Goldibollocks as he follows them everywhere they go like a faithful lapdog. He really should be licenced but can’t con anyone to put him through the course as he is too far down the hierarchy of Bigot Street. He is most likely to run in the opposite direction of anyone tanned.

Next there seems to be a confused gent. He hates immigration but has a name like Carmelo. He seems hell bent on getting into the A team and climbing the ladder of the hierarchy and closer to the honeypot. He seems to want to take on the immigrants with a stab vest, camouflage and a ruler.

At number seven, although on the outside of the main team is Nasty Nick. He seems to have talked his way in by sucking up to Uncle Jim. He has political ambition and appeared on the TV being owned by an audience. He wants all his fellow bigot’s to follow him to Hungary to set up racist world but no one wants to invest.

At number eight, although his house has the number 228 on it is a chap called Broomfield. He has the number 228 as although a paid up member of the gang he is an embarrassment to the high command.

Here I must stop with the houses, mainly due to the fact the Hobgoblin is taking effect.

At the end of Bigot Street there is a pub. A real olde world one with bar billiards (would have been a snooker room but Screechy and Goldibollocks kept taking it for filming). This pub sells great British beer like Stella, Carlsberg and Guinness. The top shelf of Smirnoff, Bacardi and Jim Beam, you know none of that foreign muck here. The Bigot’s stand around the old Joanna singing patriotic songs and wishing it was 1958 when blighty wasn’t overran by johnny foreigner, we all sang the national anthem and we respected the law of the land (as long as it wasn’t made by communist police and the lefty lackeys of the judiciary. The bigot’s talk long into the night deciding that a wall round their street complete with machine gun nests and barbed wire before toddling off for a non halal kebab.

So that’s the idea, I only need firty faaaaaaasand paaaaaands to get it off the ground. Can you chip in.
TARGET firty faaaaaaasand
Amount conned a midget gem, a marshmallow, three buttons and a safety pin.

Anyway, I should be back next week cuddling another barrel and reporting on all things biffer if the hangover goes and I have bought a big enough anniversary present for the wife.

Toodlepip

View from a barstool #38 by Landlord

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Beer 2A Screechy special

A lot on at Landlord towers as my eldest daughter dumped her boyfriend after he called me a lefty do gooder and a Muslim appeaser. She found out he was a biffer and promptly told him where to go. The youngest son is being marched to the local mosque during the half term break after calling Fatima a fat Paki bomber and although said in the heat of the moment he realises that I or my wife won’t stand for this and time for him to learn.

By now you will have seen the latest begging email for Screechy’s defence at her forthcoming witch hunt sorry court case. This email was funny it has the landlady thinking I’m close to running off with the barmaid as I chuckle long into the night. This being so I’ve decided that this week’s blog will be all about the harridan and not the way the publicity seeking biffers would like.

The Email starts and immediately my chuckles begin. She is according to the high command “an extraordinary woman” and asks whether I have ever seen a young lady with more courage, bravery and guts as our Screechy? Well Goldibollocks yes I have. From Florence Nightingale, the suffragettes, the women who fought in the world wars and those since then. The doctors and nurses, cleaners and all those in the NHS, The policewomen putting themselves on the front line (usually keeping the peace when fucknuggets like Britain First come to town.) Fire women who help keep us safe and the female members of our armed forces and the lady who lives down the road who’s husband died leaving her with four kids. Instead of turning to the welfare state she has two jobs and looks knackered all the time. These are examples of extraordinary women not someone who’s sole aim is bigotry and conning money out of people to keep her lifestyle.

Paragraph two, pass me the gag, she has been abused by the police while confronting Anjem which is so far away from the truth. She confronted him for the publicity, when she knew Choudary couldn’t say anything because of his bail condition she also turns up with her shittroopers. This isn’t brave this is cowardly. The Email goes on that she is harassed by anti terrorist police (send me a number for a divorce lawyer quick) now forgive me for this but in this world of terrorism I’m pretty sure that the security services have better things to do than harass cockwombles.

It continues, “now the corrupt PCC’s are dragging her into court with the intention of jail time.” Again forgive me for laying it straight but if you don’t break the law of this land you won’t be prosecuted or face jail time.

The edict from biffer high command then goes on to list her crimes and although we’ve covered them before I’ll laugh my way through them.

Firstly, the aggravated racial harassment, to which biffer high command says Screechy was attacked first. Now I’ve seen the videos, both of them, and even the biffers own heavily edited video appears to bear out the fact that the abuse stemmed from one person and one person only, again flanked by her shittroopers and bodyguards she appears to abuse a women and when the woman starts to own her she cries abuse. Again not courageous but cowardly.

I notice that the other two charges aren’t listed on there, could it be she may plead guilty to wearing a political uniform bravely capitulating like her beloved Fuhrer. And not answering to her bail conditions which she so bravely ripped up in front of a camera then found out she was in breach and defiantly pleaded not guilty to.

So the to the crux of the email. Not five, not seven and a ‘alf not even ten but can you focus a favour and give us fifteen faaaaaaasand paaaaaands because you are getting fucked off with us and fings are so expensive nowadays. I mean Screechy might have to get a job if you don’t.

The Email asks me if I ever knew of a more courageous woman. I’ll leave it up to you to decide but in all my years I’ve never known a bigger coward, and hopefully a jailed, humbled coward at that. I started off in EBF feeling rather sorry for Screechy but that has changed to almost, and I stress almost, a dislike.

So that’s it, I’ve come through this week I’m not sure about the divorce but as our legal fund is bare could you please send hobnobs, midget gems, pot noodles and Marmite to us just in case. We don’t like to ask but hey why not?

Toodlepip

A view from a barstool #37 by Landlord

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Beer 2Well then here we are again, nights drawing in, central heating fired up, logs for the fire delivered and stored, Pimms back in the stockroom until either Wimbledon starts or someone remembers they like it (along with the babysham and Blue Nun I’ve forgotten about for years). And the biffers still twatwaffling on about things that happened years ago.

As we were reliably informed by biffer towers they’ve reached 1.5 million likes for their tawdry page on Facebook. “Bigger than any other political party” they say, proof that “Britain wants Britain First” Now not one to put a dampener on this lads but Britain doesn’t want you, there’s 40 odd million other Facebooking souls in the UK and as you quite like to say after the referendum the majority have spoken. Also they quite like to bandy the phrase “legitimate political party” about quite regularly but which other legitimate political party has no local council seats, no MP’s, no MEP’s, no mayors and have a conference in the back room of the Dog and Duck. In fact their argument has more holes in than their accounts.

Ah, says our pet troll, you only have 91000 likes you are just jealous. Well me ol’ mucker we aren’t. We don’t pay to promote our page, we don’t pay for likes or use clickbait. The admins and followers have been brought together because of the lies, bigotry and downright racism of the conmen and women that are Biffers. We, all of us, work bloody hard to expose them at every turn.

We also, don’t, when the cash cow that is their British followers catch onto their cons and won’t pay to stop Goldibollocks and Screechy having to get a job turn to bigots and racists across the Atlantic or the other side of the world to fund ol’ uncle Jim. In fact we are pretty sure that if uncle Jim could con money out of Russian communists there would be a “Red First”

bf-jayda-fransen-screechy-day-of-nonsense-in-telfordAway from this, Screechy’s court case is rapidly approaching. She wen’t  missing for a while (perhaps she was with Jimbo in Hungary) but our EBF satellite and drones eventually picked up her screeching voice in Telford. Maybe the signal didn’t reach to Hungary so we had to wait until she got back to her beloved Britain before we could detect her raucous tones. The truth is we don’t really care because as long as she feels the full force of the law next month we’ll be happy.

She and the Biffers can’t play their silly little games this time, no petulant ripping up of bail conditions, no sending their shittroopers to a town to stick two fingers up at the authorities… just silence. The reason, if all being fair, she could be spending time at her majesty’s pleasure, could be hearing the opening titles of Porridge (go on admit it you’re saying it now) and we and many, many others will be making virtual high fives all through the Britain she claims to love so much.

I hate to bang on about anything but one thing I must ask, please tell your families, mates, pets and neighbours. The Biffers and other scammers are due out again, trying to get you into parting with your money for Remembrance Day. Please make sure you only give to the RBL and don’t let the fucknuggets get any money intended for veterans.

Now back to the stockroom. I’m sure there’s a case of Lambrini there somewhere.

Toodlepip