darkenedred

............

How could-- how could she even--

...God damn it!!

I don't even know what the hell I'm supposed to do! Whatever fate she's experienced, I will always be tightly bound to it-- so what does this mean for me?!

Yubel... I...

Damn it... damn it all to hell...

I shouldn't be so angry about this, and yet... this same anger... I can't stand this...!

((OOC: A-Also, he's mostly dressed in armor, of course, which covers pretty much everything except his face, and even then he has a mask. But if anyone wants to stick to him, I can figure something out...? Haha yeah right.))

Then, I'm leaving that wretched place. No more children blasting holes through my ceiling, at least.

Better than having another Sephiroth to live with.

However... I just realized something.

( Screened to JohanCollapse )

( Private // ALWAYS hackable hurrCollapse )

[Juudai is stalking around outside despite the snow, avoiding his apartment in an attempt to get away from the lack of privacy and the source of rage.]

Idiotic child.

If he fails to fix the damn ceiling before I lose what little patience I have left, I will thoroughly enjoy crushing every molecule of his until his body is effectively the size of a pebble.

[Whether he realizes it or not is hard to tell, but he's radiating dark energy, and a lot of it. It's like steam in reverse; the black wisps fall to the ground and pool around his feet rather than rise up in the air, being left behind in his wake wherever he walks and vanishing without a trace soon thereafter. It's even more apparent considering his being surrounded by pure snow, which makes him stand out terribly -- black and deep red against white will tend to do that, after all.]

...It's beyond me why they'd even opt to bring a child here in the first place...

...My roommate is gone once again.

For a time, I suppose, I'll be able to maintain some semblance of peace.

.................

...In the meantime... a question for anyone who cares to answer.

Assume there is a piece of trash on the ground, and there are two people. One notices the trash, but decides not to pick it up; the other does not notice it at all, and therefore fails to dispose of it as well.

Which of them is more at fault?

[Juudai listens closely as some cogs inside him shift. He is sitting straight against a wall somewhere, clearly in a deep trance that appears to be much like one that could be induced by meditation.

Somewhere in his mind, a voice carries over the void of darkness that sprawls under his feet. (Well, it isn't so much under as it is around, shaped under and around his body like it was holding onto him.)

"It's nice here, safe here. Don't want to leave. Do I have to?"

Juudai snuggles down, surrounded by a little more darkness. He feels comfortable, better than he had been for so long. Like before the insanity came crashing down on him, despite not knowing what caused it in the first place.

"Yes. Get up, Juudai."

The voice calling out to him reminds him of one long gone, of something long past. Familiar but so very different.

"No..." Blunt truth, blunt lies.

"Juudai."

"I can't! Not now!" Juudai choked out. Too much, too much. He wasn't able to deal with it all. He couldn't--

A pair of hands (those aren't hands) latch onto his wrists and drag him from the cocoon of shadows (LIES) that have spun around his body, thick as they are. A face, clear as day, stares at him. His eyes, topaz in color, stares directly at him, full of hope, and he smiles gently.

He looks in his eyes -- his own eyes -- just as it all shatters like a glass.

Then, Haou speaks aloud to himself as he returns to the world he is forced to survive in, eyes focusing slowly. It's likely he doesn't even realizing he's speaking.]

...When the time comes, I won't let you go. I promise.

((OOC: So like. Those of you who know GX, before you go bonking me on the head for this, allow me to explain myself. Yes, Juudai and Haou are very much the same person. HOWEVER, at the time Haou was first awakened, I have a belief that Juudai's personality split into two at the time as a result -- an unspoken that, based on some of the dialogue in the series, seems pretty feasible. While they later merged back together again when Juudai takes control of Haou's power by his own means, his first round as Haou consisted of a dominant persona and another hidden underneath that no longer had the strength of will to surface, unable to handle his own mistakes as he was.

This whole post is basically Haou trying to confirm this and get in touch with the deeply hurt Juudai he thought was gone... I mean, naturally, you're going to want to protect yourself, right? And since he wasn't done with his first time being Haou when he was pulled into ME, the personalities are schisming further apart than they normally would have as he mires himself deeper in his own all-consuming negativity.

...Okay, uh. Shoot me if you want to now that I've explained that. >>))

[It's a little disturbing, the livid, insane snarl that twists his lips long after the destruction of Super Fusion.

Juudai is in the park, and his presence is extremely apparent based on the large amount of dark energy manifested there, one currently being concentrated into disintegrating a rather thick tree. It's not quite fire, though it acts like it, slowly eroding away at the bark and innards of the tree until it's simply a mess of fine ash on the ground. Juudai keeps his hands on the trunk while his powers eat away at it in a painful slow-burn, a shudder wracking his shoulders every now and then.

Once he's done with one tree, he moves onto another one. And then once at least four or five trees of various thicknesses have been "burned", and ashes surround him on all sides, he drops to his knees and pounds the ground with his fists once.]

No matter how many times I do this... no matter what I destroy, no matter who I kill, no matter what I do... no matter what... it won't ever bring me any solace anymore. Even if I were to have killed her already, I still can't calm down, still can't fix anything... still can't change anything... can't... can't...

...Damn it, damn it, damn it!! But I have to keep going!

[And thus, he just continues to try and soothe himself by destroying inanimate objects around him, over and over again. He'll probably continue to do so until he tires himself out entirely.

Clearly this means he needs to be bothered some more.]

((OOC Notes: Throw anyone here without fear; Haou won't attack them physically unless they happen to be a certain dragon-hermaphrodite-Duel Monster, or unless they reeeeeally are trying to provoke him. And anyone's welcome to call him out on what he's doing, too, ehehe.))