Invidious comparison

Feast your eyes on one of the smoking-hottest females ever to grace this Earth with her pulchritudinous presence: the stunning Ann-Margret.Ann Margret.

And now, try hard not to puke at the maggot-gagging sight of American Traitor Bitch Jane Fonda, mugging with her NVA pals and making goo-goo eyes at an enemy AAA battery.

Comparison? Ain’t none, if you ask me.

I remember reading someplace or other ages ago that somebody actually tracked down that same NVA flak battery some years after the Vietnam “conflict” had ground to an ignominious halt and established that one of the guns in the above pic had almost certainly brought down an American F105 “Thud” mere weeks before the Leftist tool Fonda mounted up, grinned lasciviously, and started humping the infernal thing, to the eternal delight of the camera-wielding press scoundrels nearby.

Thus was Hanoi Jane’s defining moment captured on celluloid, her disgrace enshrined indelibly, her reflexive hatred for America and everything it stood for placed well beyond the bounds of reasonable debate. Thus did a million zillion kajillion posters, T-shirts, bumper stickers, and patches come to be.

Ann-Margret Olsson was dubbed “the female Elvis” by their fellow cast and crew members when she and the King were co-starring in Viva Las Vegas; because of its aptness and unerring accuracy the nickname stuck.

Ann-Margret began recording for RCA Victor in 1961, first recording “Lost Love”. Her debut album And Here She Is…Ann-Margret was recorded in Hollywood, arranged and conducted by Marty Paich. Later albums were produced in Nashville with Chet Atkins on guitar, the Jordanaires (Elvis Presley’s backup singers), and the Anita Kerr Singers, with liner notes by mentor George Burns. She had a sexy, throaty contralto singing voice.

RCA Victor attempted to capitalize on the “female Elvis” comparison by having her record a version of “Heartbreak Hotel” and other songs stylistically similar to Presley’s. She scored a minor success with “I Just Don’t Understand” (from her second LP), which entered the Billboard Top 40 in August 1961 and stayed six weeks, peaking at number 17; the song was later performed by the Beatles in 1963. In 1962, Ann-Margret was nominated for a Grammy Award for Best New Artist.

Her only charting album was Beauty and the Beard (1964), on which she was accompanied by trumpeter Al Hirt. Other career highlights included appearing on The Jack Benny Program in 1961 and singing the Bachelor in Paradise theme at the 34th Academy Awards in 1962. Her contract with RCA Victor ended in 1966. In 1963, Life Magazine mentioned that her recordings had sold in excess of half a million units.

Ann-Margret was a far better dancer and/or actress than she ever was a singer, it must be admitted. But as a Female Elvis, she was not just the best ever, she was also the one and only.

Of course, Ann-Margret and Elvis Aron Presley embarked on a truly torrid love affair during the filming  of VLV which continued to smolder for quite a while afterward also. The Ultimate Celeb-U-Couple were the Toast of Tabloid-town until finally Ann-Margret faced up to certain hard realities: 1) that she would never be allowed to take Priscilla’s place; 2) that she was getting pretty bored with Elvis’s “helpless hermit of Graceland” schtick; and 3) that basically, there was no real future for her with Elvis beyond the unsatisfactory one she was already up to her comely clavicles in.

After doing the math, the incredible Ann-Margret strutted out of Elvis’s life and back into her own on those long, flawless gams of hers. Even so, the two maintained a solid, comfortable “just friends” relationship right up until the King’s August 1977 passing, making her one of the very few women in Elvis’s life to pull off that daunting feat other than Gladys “Satn’in” Presley and the redoubtable Ginger Alden, who first met Elvis when she was all of 5 years old, then at 20 dated him for two months before E popped the question and she responded in the affirmative. Margret also remained very close with her all-but-father-in-law Vernon, throughout the extended illness which plagued his last few years, until the heart attack which claimed his life in mid-1979.

2 thoughts on “Invidious comparison

  1. Viva Va Va Va Voom

    Immortalized as Ann Margrock in the Flintstones too. You know you’re a star when…

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