Note: This is a Satire/Social Commentary on our current events. Humor is the best medicine. Enjoy.

I heard Diddy’s mouth is a butt cheddar freemasonry.

I heard Diddy assassinated the first Durag.

I heard Diddy choreographed the attacks on Yams and Hummus.

I heard Diddy disguised himself as distractions so the Kardashians could take selfies at the Gaza lipstick corpse marathon.

I heard Diddy told North Korea to mind fuck their diabetic flag.

I heard Diddy bungee-jumped off Mount Everest and yelled: ‘Idaho Mahogany Dumplings’.

I heard Diddy sunbathed near the Waco massacre event.

I heard Diddy shaved Pete Davidson’s toes so more or less resembled a skinhead Mohel.

I heard Diddy painted his face so white he mirrored John Wayne
and score tickets to the Holocaust.

I heard Diddy threw urinal stalls at the college protesters
just so they become moronically like Barbra Walters.

I heard Diddy dressed like Stormy Daniels not realizing that he violated his own gag order.

I heard Diddy attends the ‘Met Gala’ posing as Tattoo Typo Zionist Pamphlet.

I heard Diddy played the Maraca during the opening of Phil Donahue show
while mimicking a bum’s nutsack.

I heard Diddy got diaper rash during the trial of George Foreman grill.

I heard Diddy buys Louis Vuitton purses with menopause currency.

I heard Diddy wrote the original folk classic song ‘Let me fart in your hands so you can smell its beef twinkle.’

I heard Diddy co-founded Colgate not to confuse it with Pizzagate, oops!

I heard Diddy uses midget deodorant to ward off against Lake Minnetonka.

I heard Diddy rubbed canola oil on Tina Turner’s nips to end geriatric yeast infections.

I heard Diddy wore a Dashiki during David Copperfield’s cross-examination.

I heard Diddy runs an underground Fat Amish lemonade stand.

I heard Diddy gave Putin a reach around so he can pee on his next targets.

I heard Diddy paid himself to be insecure for a prenup he forged as Lionel Richie.

I heard Diddy lost a dance battle with Carlton Banks during Pearl Harbor.

I heard Diddy mouth washed to the sound of transvestites mowing the lawn.

I heard Diddy is colorblind because he could not tell an Orange juice from the Armenian genocide.

I heard Diddy baked so many pies he creamed himself in his pants and donated Welfare checks made out to Milli Vanilli.

I heard Diddy time-traveled to 1992’ riots; did 10 sit-ups and smoked a pound of oregano just to offend everyone at their expense.

I heard Diddy wrote the script for ‘Butt Clog Driller Pecker’.

I heard Diddy uses Kanye jizz to wash his Nike Cortez.

I heard Diddy broadcasted fruitcake trafficking blackmail Hurricane Katrina.

I heard Diddy helped Wayne Brady bleached his voice white and not Pomeranian.

I heard Diddy could not distinguish contradictory from perjury that is why plungers exist.

I heard Diddy bought a pubic crucifix, which reminds me –
if the verdict bends over; is it a yamaguchi or a guilty bra strap.  

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