BUNKERVILLE | God, Guns and Guts Comrades!

On 23 February 2021, the U.S. Senate was in the hands of (ugh) Democrats — which is not very different than a U.S. Senate in the hands of (ugh) Republicans.  In any case, is there any real difference?  Some would argue, “No, there isn’t.”  And among those people, there is plenty of justification for that argument.  

Take Little Tommy Vilsack, for example.  There was never a more dyed-in-the-wool socialist serving in government since Franklin Roosevelt.  Yet, the U.S. Senate, whose majority in that august body is exactly two, voted to confirm Tom Vilsack to serve as U.S. Secretary of Agriculture by a vote of 92 to 7.  

An overwhelming victory for the man who authorized the distribution of federal welfare benefits application forms, printed in Spanish, to potential illegal aliens living in Mexico.  At best, Vilsack’s confirmation should have netted him no more than 50-48.  In a real world where all the women are strong, all the men are good-looking, and all the children are above average. 

Vilsack was born in an orphanage.  Now, this wasn’t his fault, but understanding his early years may help us to understand how he drifted left into that netherworld where there is nether any patriotism nor common sense.  So, the baby tagged with a question mark was adopted by Bud and Dolly Vilsack, who named him Thomas James. 

Vilsack graduated from the Shady Side Academy.  That’s all I’m going to say about that.   

According to my sources (whose initials are KID), Tommy asked Christie to marry him after confirming that she didn’t vote for Richard Nixon — and found out that her father owned a law firm in Mount Pleasant.  After marrying Christie, Tom went to work for her father.  It’s sometimes interesting how things work out, eh?  

In any case, Tom made it into the world of politics as Mayor of Mount Pleasant, Iowa senator, governor of Iowa, failed Presidential candidate, and Secretary of Agriculture under both Obama and Biden.  Vilsack is the longest (ever) serving Secretary of Agriculture … in the entire galaxy. 

The amazing thing about Vilsack’s election as governor is that he was elected by a small margin.  Jaded political analysts think all those dead people voting capped the election in Vilsack’s favor, but that’s probably just trash talk.  

Still, Iowa has only had five democrat governors in the entire 20th century, so … were it not for Vilsack signing an executive order allowing 115,000 convicted felons to vote, he might still be a mayor over near Lake Wobegon.  The question is, how far left is Vilsack?  I answer you decide:  Vilsack was on Hillary Clinton’s shortlist as her vice presidential candidate.  That’s pretty far left. 

No one ever accused Tom Vilsack of being a genius; indeed, he isn’t.  So if you want to reduce U.S. reliance on foreign oil, what do you do?  You agree with your president to shut down all domestic oil production.  So now the curtain begins to rise, and we can understand how the U.S. Senate, with 48 conservative seats, overwhelmingly confirmed Vilsack as U.S.D.A. Secretary.  No, we don’t understand that at all.  His first confirmation vote for that position in 2009 was unanimous consent.  Amazing. 

And Tom Vilsack re-introduced us to Shirley Sherrod.  He previously hired her as the Director, Rural Development in Georgia.  Vilsack ended up firing Shirley Sherrod (nothing personal, just business), but he recently rehired her as an advisor on the U.S.D.A.’s new Equity Committee.  That should help propel America forward, but it’s hardly change we can believe in.  In fairness, though, Shirley needed the money.  She’s only worth $5 million.   

One month before Obama left office, Vilsack resigned his office and re-entered the world of unemployment.  A short time later, though, he accepted a position as President of the U.S. Dairy Export Council.  No, no conflict of interest there.  Nothing to see.  Move on, please.  Well, I don’t blame him.  The Council paid him $999,421 a year.  

That’s almost as good as being an employee of the U.S.D.A. and then suing them for their racialist policies.  Well, good for Tom — but I’ll be thinking about his salary the next time I purchase a jug of milk. 

So, Vilsack is back — and an amazing thing about his acceptance of Biden’s nomination is that in 2015 Vilsack notified Obama that he was thinking about resigning because he “didn’t have enough to do.”  Okay, well, the job is far from $999,421 (before taxes), but it’s better than having to go to work in the morning. 

I’m looking forward to Tom Vilsack’s biographical memoir: How I escaped going to federal prison.