One man with one son, married one woman with two daughters, and created a Blended Family. ………. “…God who brings the dead back to life, and who creates new things out of nothing.“ Romans 4:17b
6 Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. 7 And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.
Philippians 4:6-7 NLT
6 Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication, with thanksgiving, let your requests be made known to God; 7 and the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus.
Philippians 4:6-7 NKJV
6 Don’t worry about anything; instead, pray about everything. Tell God what you need, and thank him for all he has done. 7 Then you will experience God’s peace, which exceeds anything we can understand. His peace will guard your hearts and minds as you live in Christ Jesus.
Philippians 4:6-7 NLT
I was longing for peace one day and remembered these verses memorized many years ago. Lord, we have so many needs; I have so many needs. Needs we cannot meet on our own, and we so desperately need You. We need You to storm from heaven and send angels and break strongholds and cast out demons and remove barriers and remove anxiety and worry and fill us with Your peace that passes and exceeds anything we will ever be able to understand this side of eternity, and we need it continuously. Thank You. Thank You for being God, for being our God, for knowing everything and for having all Power to do what needs to be done, to fulfil Your purposes in this world and in Your whole Kingdom. Heal our hearts, minds, souls, spirits, and bodies. Soothe our souls with Your peace and love. Wash over us with Your joy. Thank You for Your peace and love and joy and hope and healing; how desperately we need You.The things of this world are increasingly dark and formidable and scary, but You are bigger, and You ARE in control. The things in our own worlds, our own homes, are also often dark and formidable and scary, but You still know and still care and still love us and are still in control, even in the tiniest things that no one else will ever see or know. You are. You are. And I am so eternally grateful for that. Thank You, Jesus. Now I ask and plead with You to continuously fill us with Your amazing peace; may it continuously flood our hearts and souls and minds and spirits and bodies and guard our hearts and minds, and enable us to live for Jesus the Christ with every breath of our lives. May Jesus continue to pray over us that our faith may never fail. We love You and trust You and so desperately need You, Jesus. In Jesus’ most Holy Name, amen.
I grow weary of the struggle, of one thing tumbling after another, of hoping for a block of time of respite only to have another thing tumble my way instead. A good friend often reminds me that it’s the spiritual war I’m in, and I want to believe that’s true for the Bible says it is true:
For our struggle is not against flesh and blood,
but against the rulers, against the authorities,
against the powers of this dark world
and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms.
Ephesians 6:12
It’s a challenge to remember that, though, when so much continues for such a long and extended period of time with no tangible end in sight. My humanity and emotions and mind struggle with what is seen as what is seen offers me little hope for dreams and goals and joy, and the extended and seemingly unending length of the season drains my soul and wearies my mind. I’ve always been one to look ahead, to forge ahead, to believe I could make life better by forging forward and deciding it to be so and being creative and making choices that would reap beautiful gardens of good and hope and joy. I wonder where that person went who believed all those things; I miss her.
It’s challenging to remember that God truly is in control of everything all the time. That His will and purposes endure and stand. That regardless of our circumstances or how we got here, God is in it, He is here, He is still God and still doing God things. That’s hard to accept, sometimes, when we hear of vile things happening in this world. Our small, human minds struggle to understand these things if we’re even capable of understanding them at all without the grace of God giving us the ability to do so.
On my way to work on Friday I heard pastor Phillip Miller talk about Jonah in this episode of Living Hope. Pastor Phillip Miller said:
Why did the Ninevites respond so quickly, so comprehensively, so wholeheartedly to Jonah’s lousy message? It’s not because his words were particularly compelling. What are they responding to? What made him credible to them that they would just snap to attention like this? This is a good question, I think. This is where historical backgrounds actually are so helpful to us. Did you know that the Assyrians—Nineveh’s the capital of Assyria, the Assyrian Empire—the Assyrians worshipped a god called Dagon? Dagon, D-A-G-O-N, who was, they believed, a great fish-god from the sea. We have numerous reliefs, stone carvings of the Assyrian depiction of Dagon as this fish-human hybrid being. He’s like a fish with the face of a man. He’s got legs like a man, but he’s a fish, okay? And this is Dagon. This is the god they worshipped and believed in. So here comes Jonah walking into the city with skin pale and sore from the GI tract and acid burns of a great fish. And he’s smelling of fish vomit, and he’s filthy. And I’m sure they would have asked him, “What on earth happened to you?” And he would have told them, “The Lord God, the maker of heaven and earth, he commanded the great fish of the sea to swallow me and bring me to shore and vomit me up so that I could come to you with this message: ‘Yet forty days and Nineveh shall be overthrown.’” Isn’t this amazing, friends? God used the great fish of the sea, the thing that Ninevites connected with their god and worshipped, to transport his own prophet with a message from Yahweh, the one true God. And the Ninevites, when they hear the message, they realize Dagon can’t help us out of this one, because Jonah’s God is the Lord and ruler of all the gods, including Dagon. And if he commanded this great fish and the great fish of the sea obeys this God, then we’d better obey that God as well. And here’s the bottom line, friends: God is sovereign over all. He’s sovereign over all. He’s sovereign over the storm. He’s sovereign over the sailors. He’s sovereign over the lots that were cast. He’s sovereign over the sea. He’s sovereign over the great fish. He’s sovereign over all the gods of the ancient world. And he is sovereign over all. And even Jonah’s half-hearted message, friends, cannot thwart the sovereign will of God.
In this narrative, the people of Nineva were receptive because Jonah was swallowed and expelled from the huge fish, which happened because Jonah ran from God. It’s amazing to me that God continuously uses even our sin or the sin of others to accomplish His purposes … that He uses even evil to accomplish His purposes.
So I’ve been writing this in between other things, and I thought that it would be a simple post. Writing tends to take on a mind of it’s own when I begin 🙂 . Some things have happened to make it a rough month, and the last 24 hours caved in on me. But I was reading something and saw the Proverbs 19:21 verse, which I had memorized many years ago in a different version, and God just gently lifted my spirit. It’s challenging to remember all the things of God when life caves in on us, or it is for me, and I’d rather cry curled up in a ball than face yet one more day. And then God does His God thing and sends me the gift of His Word to soothe my soul. Thank You Jesus, for the gift of Your Holy Word, to soothe my soul. I need You; I so desperately need You. In Jesus’ Holy Name amen.
I was pondering this some more … and it’s not Jonah’s sin that God used, it was how God redeemed Jonah’s sin that God used to reach the people of Nineva. So it’s not about us, but about our Holy God and what He can do and what He does. How powerful is that!
“But the LORD is in his holy Temple. Let all the earth be silent before him.”
Habakkuk 2:20
Can you close your eyes and imagine? The whole earth silent, before Holy God. No sounds of birds or cattle or cars or motors. No voices. No animals. No wind. Nothing. Silence, before Holy God. The Power of such a moment. The Peace.
13 All these people were still living by faith when they died. They did not receive the things promised; they only saw them and welcomed them from a distance, admitting that they were foreigners and strangers on earth. 14 People who say such things show that they are looking for a country of their own. 15 If they had been thinking of the country they had left, they would have had opportunity to return. 16 Instead, they were longing for a better country—a heavenly one. Therefore God is not ashamed to be called their God, for he has prepared a city for them.
Hebrews 11:13-16
These verses came up in something I was reading recently, and I was taken aback by verse 13: All these people were still living by faith when they died. They did not receive the things promised; they only saw them and welcomed them from a distance, admitting that they were foreigners and strangers on earth.
Who are these people? And how long did they live?
Abel:
Hebrews 11:4 By faith Abel brought God a better offering than Cain did. By faith he was commended as righteous, when God spoke well of his offerings. And by faith Abel still speaks, even though he is dead.
The story of Abel is found in Genesis chapter 4. A quick search states that contextual evidence shows Abel was likely over 120 when he died.
Enoch:
Hebrews 11:5 By faith Enoch was taken from this life, so that he did not experience death: “He could not be found, because God had taken him away.”[a] For before he was taken, he was commended as one who pleased God.
The story of Enoch can be found in Genesis chapter 5, and Genesis 5:23 says that Enoch lived a total of 365 years.
Noah:
Hebrews 11:7 By faith Noah, when warned about things not yet seen, in holy fear built an ark to save his family. By his faith he condemned the world and became heir of the righteousness that is in keeping with faith.
The story of Noah can be found in Genesis chapters 5-9. Genesis 9:29 says that Noah lived a total of 950 years.
Abram/Abraham:
Hebrews 11:8-12 By faith Abraham, when called to go to a place he would later receive as his inheritance, obeyed and went, even though he did not know where he was going. 9 By faith he made his home in the promised land like a stranger in a foreign country; he lived in tents, as did Isaac and Jacob, who were heirs with him of the same promise. 10 For he was looking forward to the city with foundations, whose architect and builder is God.
The story of Abram/Abraham can be found in Genesis chapters 11-25. Genesis 25:7 says Abraham lived 175 years.
Sarai/Sarah:
Hebrews 11:11-12And by faith even Sarah, who was past childbearing age, was enabled to bear children because she[b] considered him faithful who had made the promise. 12 And so from this one man, and he as good as dead, came descendants as numerous as the stars in the sky and as countless as the sand on the seashore.
The story of Sarai/Sarah can be found in Genesis chapters 12-23. Genesis 23:1 says that Sarah was 127 years old when she died.
First, I really hope I don’t live to 100 much less 120, or 365, or 950, or 175, or 127. I hope I don’t even live till 90! But how amazing their faith … living for so.many years, not receiving the things promised, only seeing them from a distance.
They lived their whole lives not receiving the things promised, only seeing them from a distance.
And were still living by faith when they died.
May the same be true of us. I’m finding it’s harder as I get older. When I was younger I thought that faith and living for Jesus would be a breeze when I got older. But that hasn’t been true for me.
Holy God, Jesus, please pray for us as You prayed for Peter, that we would not lose our faith. Fill us with Your faith, and enable us to remain in Your faith all the days of our lives, till our very last breath. I know that many of us are living through hard, harsh, and difficult times. Times of real suffering and trial and difficulty. We don’t understand. We are weary and worn. And we so desperately need You, Jesus. We need Your faith. We need Your endurance. We need Your love and Your hope. We need Your peace. Thank You, thank You, for being our faith, for being our endurance, for being our love, for being our hope, for being our peace. We love You and worship You and praise You, and we choose You. In Jesus’ Holy Name, amen.
8 “For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways,” declares the Lord. 9 “As the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways and my thoughts than your thoughts.
Isaiah 55:8-9
I’ve been pondering God and His ways and His thoughts being so much higher than ours … and I’ve realized that they’re not simply higher, but that they’re also different. I keep thinking that God’s ways being higher are like shades of a color … that I’m down here being a very light blue, and God is up there as a deep and vibrant and pure blue. Yet I wonder that God is not even on the same color wheel … that He’s nothing I can imagine … He is so much higher and very different from all I can imagine and conceive. And even that thought is beyond my ability to articulate. We try, though, to define who God is and who He is not. God knows we need to do this, but He’s also instructed that we’ll likely not come anywhere close this side of eterenity. And that’s a very good thing, indeed, for if we could truly understand and know who God is and understand His thoughts and His ways, then He wouldn’t be God … and we desperately need Him to be God.
Thank You, God, for being God, and for choosing to be our God. We so desperately need You. So many times I’ve thought I had You figured out, and then I discover I was wrong. I am too limited to figure You out, but You love me anyway. Thank You. Thank You for loving me and for never giving up on me. Thank You for being God, so infinitely greater and higher and more magnificant that any human can imagine. In Jesus’ Holy Name, amen.
[Verse 1] Well, blue skies and hillsides feel so far away And I wrote in my notebook that I’ve seen better days Than the ones as of late I can’t bear that weight
[Verse 2] The rain won’t stop pouring out my window pane And I haven’t left my bedroom in 76 days I wish something would change ‘Cause I’m losing faith
[Chorus] So I brought it up in a desperate prayer Lord, why are you keeping me here? Then He said to me, “Child, I’m planting seeds I’m a good God and I have a good plan So trust that I’m holding a watering can And someday you’ll see that flowers grow in the valley”
[Verse 3] So whatever the reason, I’m barely getting by I’ll trust it’s a season knowing that you’re by my side Every step of the way And I’ll be okay
[Chorus] ‘Cause I brought it up in a desperate prayer Lord, why are you keeping me here? Then He said to me, “Child, I’m planting seeds I’m a good God and I have a good plan So trust that I’m holding a watering can And someday you’ll see that flowers grow in the valley”
[Post-Chorus] Mmm Mmm
[Verse 4] When I’m on the mountain and looking down below I’ll see a valley of flowers that needed time to grow And I’ll thank you for the rain The hurt and days of pain
[Chorus] And I’ll bring it up in a grateful prayer Thank you, Jesus, for keeping me there You know just what I need and you’ve planted seeds ‘Cause you’re a good God with a real good plan And you hold my world in a watering can So I can have peace ’cause flowers grow in the valley
5 Then the angel spoke to the women. “Don’t be afraid!” he said. “I know you are looking for Jesus, who was crucified. 6 He isn’t here! He is risen from the dead, just as he said would happen. Come, see where his body was lying. Matthew 28:5-6
2 Then the Lord said to me,“Write my answer plainly on tablets, so that a runner can carry the correct message to others. 3 This vision is for a future time. It describes the end, and it will be fulfilled. If it seems slow in coming, wait patiently, for it will surely take place. It will not be delayed. Habakkuk 2:2-3
The Bible makes many promises, and we want them fulfilled now. Or at least in a reasonable amount of time … this week or even this year would be nice. And when that drags on, we hope that whatever promises we’re holding onto will be fulfilled in our lifetime on this earth. It’s easy to get angry with God when His promises seem slow in coming, isn’t it.
But we can bank our whole lives on this: What Jesus said He will do, Jesus will do. The Bible is Truth. God IS God. God has been and is and will be who He says He is, always. God never changes. And, the hard one to believe sometimes: God truly is good.
Lord, what You have said You will do, You WILL do. What You have said will happen, WILL happen. Strengthen us, Jesus, Fill us with Your endurance and long-suffering patience. This life is hard, so very hard, but You are continuously All-Powerful and in total and complete control of everything all the time, and what You have said will happen, WILL happen, at the exact time that You determine. There is nothing that can stop You or Your will. For surely Your will WILL take place. If it seems slow in coming, enable us to wait patiently, for it will surely take place, it will not be delayed. We so desperately need You, Jesus. We cannot do this life without You. Thank You for being God and for choosing to be our God. Thank You for never leaving us nor forsaking us. Come into our worlds and be here, now and always as You have promised, being a light unto our paths and a lamp unto our feet, guiding us one breath at a time and comforting us in our sorrows and sufferings and enabling us to cast all our burdens and cares upon You for You truly do care for us. For You are who you said You are, and You WILL do what You said You will do, in Your time and in Your ways and for Your purposes and for our good. We so desperately need You, Jesus. In Jesus’ Holy Name amen.
It is the foundation of all we believe, for if it is not true, our whole lives are meaningless. Jesus, Messiah, fully man and fully God, was crucified as an atonement for all the sins of all the world of all time, and then He overcame death and rose from the grave and forever sits at the right hand of His Father, God. Hallelujah.
16 “For this is how God loved the world: He gave[g] his one and only Son, so that everyone who believes in him will not perish but have eternal life. 17 God sent his Son into the world not to judge the world, but to save the world through him.John 3:16-17
8 God saved you by his grace when you believed. And you can’t take credit for this; it is a gift from God. 9 Salvation is not a reward for the good things we have done, so none of us can boast about it. 10 For we are God’s masterpiece. He has created us anew in Christ Jesus, so we can do the good things he planned for us long ago. Ephesians 2:8-9
Do you know our Jesus? Have you chosen Him? It is not an easy path or life; it is one full of sorrows and suffering, but it is also rewarding and full of life both here and in eternity – eternal life in heaven with our Lord and Savior Jesus the Christ, the Messiah, and God the Father, and the Holy Spirit. There is nothing you can do or think or say that will earn your eternal salvation. It is fully a gift from God that you must choose to receive. Please receive the gift of Jesus now 🙂
Holy God, You are the One who draws all people to You. Draw us all to You continuously. May those who have never chosen You turn from their sin and choose to receive the free gift of eternal life that You paid for with Your life. Holy Holy Holy are YOU, alone, Lord God Almighty, for the earth is filled with Your Glory, the Glory of Jesus. All creation cries out to You and bows before You. Even the wind and the waves know You and obey You and submit to You always. Wow. Thank You. Thank You. Thank You for living and dying and conquering death for all the sins of all the world of all time, including mine. I am eternally humbled and grateful. In Jesus’ Holy Name, amen.
5 Then the angel spoke to the women. “Don’t be afraid!” he said. “I know you are looking for Jesus, who was crucified. 6 He isn’t here! He is risen from the dead, just as he said would happen. Come, see where his body was lying. Matthew 28:5-6
2 Then the Lord said to me,“Write my answer plainly on tablets, so that a runner can carry the correct message to others. 3 This vision is for a future time. It describes the end, and it will be fulfilled. If it seems slow in coming, wait patiently, for it will surely take place. It will not be delayed. Habakkuk 2:2-3
Some of the things I’ve read about Mast Cell Activation Syndrome, MCAS, say that people who have it have thought they were crazy, and so they were super relieved to have a diagnosis to define all this … well, crazy! stuff going on with their bodies! That’s exactly how I have felt over the years … that this is crazy. Mentioning little things here and there to people brought such weird responses that I eventually just never said anything. How many times can you say that you’re dizzy and have brain fog before someone thinks you really are crazy and just making things up. Anyway, it’s been a relief to know that I’m *not* crazy, or at least not because of these things (and other parts of this diagnosis) 🙂 . Thank You Jesus 🙂
I am so excited to report that I finally had a really good day today! Woo Hoo!
I guess I should back up a little. I’ve been pretty sick for a couple months. The PA I had seen before in the functional medical practice I chose here in Florida left, so when I called to schedule a sick appointment in February, I just asked for the first available practitioner. He turned out to be really good for me; a young man, probably in his 30’s, partially educated in another country, and more on the scientist side of medicine but with a very calm and caring bedside manner. And he asked questions no one has asked before, and learned some things no one else has found. I’ve seen him quite a few times since, and he has diagnosed me with Mast Cell Activation Syndrome (MCAS). I’d never heard of it before, and it’s a bit complex, at least to me, but basically (in my still very limited understanding) my body thinks it’s allergic to most everything. I think I’ve probably had it or a sort of pre-MCAS, if there is such a thing, for many years, but I got three illnesses back-to-back-to-back, and my immune system was shot, and I was just really sick. I’ve already used up all my sick time at work for this calendar year (but SO grateful I had sick time!!!) and some of my vacation time, but that is okay. Because now I know … and I’m on a slow but diligent path to feeling better.
This has caused some tension and conflict at work due to various issues, and I awoke very early this morning, more like the middle of the night, knowing I needed to talk to my manager. I prayed and prayed but still felt restless in my spirit, so I texted three friends to pray for me before I left for work.
Have you ever asked someone to pray for you? Do you have people you can contact to ask to pray for you? It is so humbling and so powerful. A Christian therapist taught me to do this about twenty-five years ago, and it has truly been a life-line for me over all these years.
“I invoke God’s strength to sustain Ame this day.”
“It’s always a privilege to pray. Always please ask.”
“As I was praying I knew God was hearing my concerns over you.”
I am humbly and deeply blessed.
I was able to talk to my manager and was very grateful it seemed to be a very good conversation. She can be difficult, but I think she’s been going through her own challenges, so I’ve prayed for her some, and I was mindful of that during our conversation, and we ended our time talking about her. I was amazed at how relieved I felt after this conversation, like a huge burden had been lifted from my soul.
But it was more than that, I think. I felt like God was using the prayers of these three women who have lived their own challenges and know the power of our Holy God to lift me up and lift off these burdens. It was so freeing. But my prayers did not do this, which is very frustrating. I had to ask three others to pray for me, and God directed me pretty specifically in these three.
All through the Bible God uses people to help people. He humbles us that way. We need each other. We need to be held up to our Holy God by others. And we need to hold up others to our Holy God often, daily.
Holy God, I am so humbled and so blessed. You have provided friends, life-long-forever friends, who love YOU enough to pray for others, to pray for me. And I am so eternally grateful. So very grateful. I ask that You would bless these ladies and their families exponentially for loving You enough to care for and pray for me. You know the turmoil that continues to stir in my soul and spirit, the angst that I struggle with, and yet You still love me despite my very real struggles, and You love me enough to raise up others to pray for me when I need reinforcements. Lord, I want to pray for those reading these words. Every one of us has our own struggles we must face, and if we’re in a season of peace, we need to be preparing for a coming season of difficulty for surely it will come in one form or another. I ask that Jesus would pray for us as He prayed for Peter in Luke 22, 31 “Simon, Simon, Satan has asked to sift each of you like wheat. 32 But I have pleaded in prayer for you, Simon, that your faith should not fail. So when you have repented and turned to me again, strengthen your brothers.” Lord, I pray that our faith would not fail. I pray that when it is dark and our minds are oppressed and our lives are shattered and life seems to offer no hope and the darkness continues to close in and answers seem elusive and continually far far away, that we would continually turn to You over and over and over with every breath all of our days even when it feels like nothing has changed and we can’t hear or see or feel You and it seems like You’re not listening (even though You always are) and You seem so far far away. The spiritual war is fierce. Satan wants our souls; don’t let him have them. Raise up angels to protect us. Put thick hedges of thorns all around us to protect us. Clothe us with Your armor continuously so that Your Helmet of Salvation protects our minds and our thoughts and our dreams and our daydreams and our eyes and what we see and our ears and what we hear and our noses and what we smell and our mouths and what we taste, eat and speak. So that Your Breastplate of Righteousness protects our hearts and our souls and our feelings and our character and our integrity and our spirits and our emotions and our beauty and our joy. So that Your Shield of Faith wards of the relentless and fierce arrows of the evil one that seem to come from every direction. So that Your Sword of the Spirit, Your Holy Word the Bible – so that we have an insatiable hunger and thirst to read and memorize and dwell in Your Holy Word so that we might know You and trust You and not sin against You. So that we are wrapped in Your Belt of Truth; may Your Truth weave all in and through every fiber of our beings so we instantly recognize Truth from lie and always choose Truth, and may Your Truth continuously set us free. And may our feet be fitted with the Readiness that comes from Your Peace; may Your Peace flow all in and through and around us and may others feel and sense and know Your peace flowing from us when they are in our presence. We need You, Jesus; we all so desperately need You. May our faith in You not fail. Thank You for loving us and caring for us. In Jesus’ Holy Name, amen.
I copied the transcript below which can be found at the same link as the video.
Transcript
0:03
There is a quiet war that rages where no one can see it [music] deep within the corridors of the mind. It does not announce itself loudly, but [music] it
0:12
shapes everything. I’ve lived through days where the real battle was not in circumstances or people, but in the quiet repetition of thoughts I could not turn off. Words looped inside me.
0:24
Questions [music] echoed. Regrets rehearsed themselves. and fears drew their own conclusions before I could
0:30
answer them. What I’ve come to see is this. Most of our outward struggles begin as inner whispers.
0:38
What we repeat becomes what we believe.
0:42
And what we believe begins to shape how we live, how we love, and what we fear.
0:48
We often try to fix our lives from the outside in. Changing [music] habits,
0:52
chasing peace, silencing the noise. But healing begins far deeper than the surface. It begins in the mind [music]
1:00
where thought becomes conviction and conviction becomes direction long before modern science mapped the brain’s
1:07
pathways or named the phenomenon of neuroplasticity. [music]
1:12
God had already spoken to this hidden terrain. Scripture wasn’t only given to save my [music] soul. It was also meant
1:19
to heal my mind, to reshape what I dwell on, to renew how I interpret [music]
1:24
pain, temptation, time, identity, and hope. And it does this not through noise or speed, but through holy repetition.
1:35
The mind is never empty, I’ve learned. It is always being trained by something. Either the world trains it by fear,
1:44
distraction, and opinion, or God trains it through truth spoken again and again.
1:51
What I rehearse inwardly,
1:54
I eventually live outwardly. In seasons of confusion or anxiety, I used to assume I needed a radical shift in circumstances.
2:04
But often what I needed most was a shift in focus. A turning from what was merely loud to what was deeply true. God, I
2:14
discovered rarely shouts at the mind. He reshapes it patiently. One verse repeated in faith becomes more than
2:22
memory. It becomes transformation. A truth spoken aloud each morning can become a shield by nightfall. This is
2:29
not a religious slogan. It is architecture of the soul. Repetition in God’s design is not mindless. It is
2:38
restorative. It is the gentle rebuilding of the foundations we didn’t realize were cracked. I used to read scripture
2:45
for information or obligation. But now I’ve come to see that when I repeat God’s word, when I let it circulate inside me, when I speak it softly under
2:54
my breath, when I write it down and carry it with me, it doesn’t just comfort me, it rebuilds me. And that has
3:02
changed everything. I used to think my thoughts were private and passing shadows that drifted in and out of my mind, harmless and forgettable. But I’ve
3:10
come to realize that nothing shapes my life more quietly, more consistently than the words I allow to echo in my own
3:18
mind. There is a voice inside me that never stops speaking. Sometimes it’s anxious. [music]
3:25
Sometimes it’s critical. Sometimes it’s full of old lies that wear new disguises.
3:31
But always it is forming something. With each repeated phrase it lays another
3:38
brick. Thought by thought, belief by belief, a structure is being built within me. And whether I like it or not,
3:46
I end up living inside the house my thoughts have built. Scripture says, “As a man thinks in his heart, so [music] is he.” Proverbs 23:7.
3:57
It is not the outward noise that defines me. [music] It is the inward dialogue.
4:01
The story I repeat to myself becomes the script I follow. The words I dwell on become the shape of my soul. It makes
4:10
perfect sense then that God would command his people to meditate on his word day and night. Not because he is
4:17
demanding performance, but because he is offering protection. His instruction is not to burden me, but to anchor me. If
4:25
the mind is left unattended, I’ve come to understand it will still be taught,
4:31
just not by truth. In the absence of God’s voice, other voices take [music] the stage. Fear, comparison, bitterness,
4:41
shame. They do not need an invitation to speak. They simply fill the silence. God designed my mind not to be empty, but to
4:50
be filled and formed by truth. His truth, his word, was never meant to be a once a week reading or a quiet
4:58
background hum. It was meant to be the dominant note, the firm foundation, the inner rhythm by which my thoughts are trained to trust rather than tremble.
5:07
When I begin repeating his word, even in the smallest phrases, you are with me. I am not alone. Your grace is enough.
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Something begins to shift. The lies grow quieter. The mind becomes steadier. The old fears don’t disappear overnight, but
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they stop [music] leading. This is not magic. It is designed. And slowly I begin to realize the mind God gave me
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was never meant to be a battleground of confusion. It was meant to be a sanctuary of truth shaped word by word
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until my thoughts begin to echo the voice of heaven. For much of my life, I thought repetition was for the weak-minded, those who needed reminders
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because they lacked resolve. I feared that repeating God’s word might become empty ritual, a kind of spiritual muscle
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memory without meaning. [music] But now I know better. Repetition, when rooted in truth, is not lifeless routine. It is
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soul deep renewal. When God spoke to Joshua before he led the people into the promised land, he didn’t give him a
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sword or a strategy. He gave him a sentence. Keep this book of the law always on your lips. Meditate on it day
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and night. Then you will be prosperous and successful. Joshua 1 to8. Before the
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battle, before the breakthrough, God pointed Joshua inward. Why? Because courage begins in the mind and faith
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must be trained long before it is tested. The more I sit with scripture,
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the more I see that repetition is not God asking me to prove devotion. It is God inviting me to practice truth until it becomes instinct. Until my first
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reaction is faith, not fear. Until his promises are not just words I know, but reflexes I [music] live by. The enemy
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knows the power of repetition, too. He whispers the same lies in new disguises.
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You’re not enough. You’ll always struggle.
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Nothing will change. And if I’m not careful, those phrases become familiar,
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comfortable, even. But just because a lie feels familiar doesn’t make it true.
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That is why I must train my mind to recognize truth by hearing it often,
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letting it sink in deep until it sounds louder than the lies. When Jesus faced temptation in the wilderness, he didn’t
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argue or explain. He responded again and again with what was written. The word of God wasn’t a distant tool. It was his
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first defense. Repetition had done its work. Truth stood up inside him and
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spoke without delay. C. S. Lewis once said something to the effect that you do not always feel the truth, but you must
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train yourself to act on it. I found that repetition is how truth learns to walk without crutches. It moves from
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theory to instinct, from page to bloodstream. [music] It becomes the voice I recognize, the path I remember,
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the song I hum when no one is listening.
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So now when I repeat God’s word, I do not do it to be heard by heaven. I do it so that heaven’s words can shape my inner world, one repetition at a time.
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There are times when my mind turns into a hallway of echoes. Each thought, a footstep repeating the same old fears,
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[music] regrets, and half-truths. I’ve walked that corridor many nights. I’ve heard the whisper of shame louder than
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8 minutes, 37 seconds
the promises of peace. And I’ve learned this. Most of my battles are not against
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what’s around me, but what loops inside me. Fear has a rhythm. So does anxiety.
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So does shame. They don’t shout, they rehearse. A single fearful thought becomes a pattern. A mistake becomes a
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story I tell myself on repeat. Regret plays back memories [music] with just enough distortion to make the past feel
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like a prophecy. But scripture doesn’t just interrupt these patterns. It rewrites them. God’s word does not enter
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to coexist with the noise. It enters to silence it. David knew this. That’s why he spoke not just to his enemies but to
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his own soul. “Why are you downcast, oh my soul?” he asked again and again. He did not deny his feelings, but he refused to let them have the final word.
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He gave that privilege to God. Paul learned it, too. [music]
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When his mind might have been overtaken by weakness, he reframed it with revelation. When I [music] am weak, then I am strong. That sentence did not
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emerge from comfort. It was carved in hardship, [music] shaped by grace, and it redefined the thoughts that could
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have otherwise defined him. I’ve had to learn to speak scripture into my mental spirals. When fear says, “What if everything falls apart?” I answer with,
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“The Lord is my refuge and strength, an everpresent help in trouble.” When shame says you’ll never be enough, I respond,
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there is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus. And when regret whispers, you should have done better, I
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remind myself. His mercies are new every morning. This is not self-help. It is spiritual survival.
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Repetition becomes my rescue line. Each scripture I speak is like stepping off the old path and into a new one. One
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carved by truth, not trauma. There is a quiet brilliance in how God works. He doesn’t just confront lies. [music] He
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starves them. And when I feed my mind with truth long enough, the lies grow weaker. Their voices crack. Their grip
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loosens. God’s word does not erase my emotions, but it puts them in context.
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It doesn’t always make me feel better right away, but it makes me see clearer.
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And sometimes that clarity is what healing begins with. I’ve discovered that there is a strange kind of power in
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[music] saying things aloud, especially when those words are true. Not motivational slogans or borrowed affirmations, but ancient eternal truth
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that carries weight beyond emotion. When I speak scripture out loud, something shifts, not just around me, but within
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me. There were seasons in my life when I knew God’s promises, but still felt like a stranger to them. I would read, but silently.
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I would hope, but quietly. And in that quiet, I noticed how loudly my fears
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spoke. Shame doesn’t whisper. Insecurity doesn’t ask for permission. [music] They speak boldly. So I learned I must answer
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back just as boldly. The scriptures say that faith comes by hearing, not by thinking, not even by reading, but by
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hearing. And not just hearing anyone’s voice, but hearing God’s word. If faith
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grows through what I hear, then I must make sure my own voice echoes truth.
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That’s why I began to read the word aloud, not just for information, but for formation. Jesus never whispered to the
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wind. He spoke to storms. He commanded demons. He called out to the sick [music] and they were healed. When Jesus
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opened his mouth, the physical world aligned with the spiritual truth he carried. And as his follower, I began to
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understand if the word is in me, then my mouth is not decoration. It is a weapon.
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I started preaching to my own soul. Not in crowds, not on stages,
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just in the quiet of morning or the stillness of night. I am a child of God.
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I am forgiven. I am chosen. [music] He who began a good work in me will carry it to completion. Uh, at first it felt
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strange, like talking to an invisible audience. But over time, I noticed something. My fears grew quieter. My
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confidence grew steadier. My identity began to solidify. Not on the sand of how I felt, but on the rock of what God
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had said. CS Lewis once observed that what the mouth confesses, the mind slowly believes. I found this to be
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true. Words shape the world outside, but they shape the self within. And when those words are rooted in God’s word,
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they don’t just encourage me, they transform me. The enemy often tries to define me by my wounds. But scripture reminds me of who I am by God’s will.
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And every time I speak his word aloud, I reinforce a new architecture in my soul.
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A house not built by hands, but by truth, there was a time when my thoughts felt like they had a mind of their own.
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One disappointment could spiral into fear. One harsh word could reopen years
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of silent wounds. It felt as though my brain had learned only one route to return again and again to anxiety, to
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self-doubt, to panic. I didn’t know then that my mind had been trained by repetition and that it could be
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retrained the same way. I used to think peace was a gift handed down to me on special days if I’d earned it. Now I
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know peace is not found by accident. It is built one thought at a time. The
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Bible describes God’s word as a lamp to our feet and a light to our path. But lamps don’t always flood a room. They
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illuminate just enough to take the next step. I began to wonder, what if I let God’s word light the paths inside my
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mind? What if instead of instinctively running to fear, I trained my thoughts to walk toward peace? So I began again.
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I whispered scripture when my chest tightened. I repeated promises when memories returned. I recited truth even when my emotions protested.
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It didn’t feel powerful at first, but I kept going. Day by day,
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a different path began to form in my mind. A quiet road that led away from panic and [music] toward peace. Cs
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Lewis wrote that the mind must be trained as one trains a limb. And that’s what I did. I trained my thoughts to
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lean on God instead of spiraling in worry. I taught my inner world to follow the light of scripture instead of the shadows of fear. [music]
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And slowly something began to change.
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Not just in my circumstances, but in my instincts. Peace stopped being something I begged for and became something I
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carried. [music] Now when anxiety knocks, it finds fewer doors unlocked.
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When fear tries to rise, it must contend with truth that is already rooted deep within me. Not because I am stronger,
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but because the word has rewired what I once thought was permanent. I’ve learned that repetition isn’t mindless. It is
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holy. It is how heaven teaches earth to think again. And the more I repeat what God has said, the more peaceful I
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become, not as a fleeting mood, but as a new pattern of [music] being. There’s a verse in Philippians that quietly undoes
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me. Let this mind be in you which was also in Christ Jesus. For years, I read
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it as a command beyond reach, like being asked to leap a mountain. But then I began to understand it is not an instant
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transformation. It is an invitation into alignment. Jesus didn’t live by impulse.
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He lived by the word. At every turn,
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whether in the wilderness, surrounded by crowds, or praying alone, his response flowed from scripture. Not reaction, but revelation. The more I repeat his words,
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the more my thoughts begin to mirror his. Slowly, steadily, my instinct begins to shift. I notice it when I’m
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wronged, and mercy surfaces before resentment. I see it in moments of pressure. When trust comes before panic,
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[music] it is not perfection. It is a reorientation, a turning of the mind toward heaven’s way of thinking. C. S.
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Lewis once said, “Holiness begins not with behavior but with attention.”
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That struck me because where I fix my attention, my life eventually follows.
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Scripture becomes my lens. It recalibrates my desires.
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It reshapes my reactions and in time it reforms my character. This is not mechanical recitation. It is formation.
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It is choosing day after day to think with Jesus instead of merely thinking about him. When I repeat the word, I am not just memorizing, I am being molded.
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[music] And perhaps the miracle is not in how quickly I change, but in how faithfully God renews me. Not with
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flashes of glory, but with quiet threads of truth woven through the hours. Every repetition becomes a stitch in the
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fabric of a new mind. I used to think holiness was something I must force into my hands. Now I see it begins in my
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thoughts and flows from there. To align with the mind of Christ is not to have no struggle. It is to face that struggle with the word dwelling richly within me.
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And that changes everything. I used to believe that most spiritual battles happened outside of me, situations, circumstances, [music]
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people. But I’ve learned that some of the fiercest wars are fought in silence within the private corridors of the mind. And the weapon God gave me to win
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them is not louder effort or sharper arguments, it is truth. Scripture calls the word of God the sword of the spirit.
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And now I understand why. When fear creeps in like fog, when lies hiss in the dark like old serpents, it is not emotion or opinion that silences them.
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It is the voice of God spoken through a mind that has been trained by his word.
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There was a time when the enemy had easy access to [music] my thoughts. He knew where I was vulnerable. Where doubt ran
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like water and fear made its home. But the more I repeated scripture, the more those old pathways were replaced. The
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lies still knock, but now they find locked doors. [music]
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Truth is my new security system. A scripture-shaped mind does not mean I never struggle. It means my response is
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no longer instinctively panic, but peace. Not automatic worry, but trust, not confusion, but discernment. C. S.
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Lewis once wrote that courage is not simply one of the virtues, but the form of every virtue at the testing point.
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And I’ve come to believe the same is true of truth. When truth is tested in battle, it becomes light. And that light builds something stronger than defense.
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It builds fortitude. Something remarkable happens when the mind is renewed by truth. Others begin to feel
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it. My peace becomes a refuge for the anxious. My clarity helps steady the confused. My courage gives hope to the
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weary. Without preaching a word, a quiet, truth anchored mind becomes [music] a lighthouse. A mind rebuilt by
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God’s word is not merely protected. It is powerful.
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A fortress of light cannot be easily shaken. And now when the shadows rise, I do not fear them. I reach for the truth already written within me. Looking back,
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I can see it now. God was not only healing my heart. He was quietly rebuilding my mind. The transformation didn’t arrive with lightning or noise.
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It came like morning light, steady and faithful, rising through repetition and surrender. Old thought patterns that
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once felt immovable are beginning to weaken. New ones rooted in peace, truth,
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and grace are taking their place. This is the sacred work God has invited me into. Not to force my mind into instant
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holiness, but to cooperate with his word, one repeated truth at a time. I no longer define myself by the thoughts I
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used to think. I am not the sum of my anxious spirals, my regrets, [music] or the lies I once believed. I am not the
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voice that whispers, “You’ll never change.” I am a soul [music] being renewed, a mind being rewired, a heart
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being restored by the hand of the one who made me. Se Lewis once wrote, “The hardness of God
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is kinder than the softness of men.” And I would add, the slowness of God is wiser than the rush of the world.
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[music] His word does not crash into the mind. It moves like water over stone,
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patient, gentle, and utterly transformative. There are days I still wrestle with my thoughts. But I no
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longer fear them. I no longer bow to their power because now I carry something stronger than repetition. I carry truth. And truth is not fragile.
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It does not flinch when tested. It stands. And when I stand in it, I do too. Repetition is not religious
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striving. It is faithfulness. [music] It is saying, “Lord, I believe you again today, even when yesterday’s faith felt
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thin. [music] It is choosing to speak light into the dark, even when my emotions haven’t caught up yet.”
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Renewal, I’ve come to learn, is not an event. It is daily cooperation with grace. So tonight, as I quiet my
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thoughts once more, I whisper what has become my daily prayer. Renew my mind,
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Lord. Not just so I can think better, but so I can live freer, love deeper,
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walk stronger, so I can reflect the mind of Christ, not only in what I believe,
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but in who I am becoming. And if you walk with me through these pages, I hope you feel it too. That quiet stirring,
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that invitation.
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Because the God who authored your soul is also the one shaping your mind. He is
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not finished. He is not in a hurry. And he is not discouraged by your process.
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One repeated truth at a time. He is forming something new in you. A mind marked by clarity, peace, resilience,
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and hope. This is the miracle already happening even now. Not by might, not by
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striving, but by the gentle repetition of truth again and again until it becomes who you are.
There are little things that can help a lot in various circumstances, and finding a way to prevent massive clean-up of broken glass jars turns out to be a huge deal for me. My Husband’s grip isn’t always strong, and he’s home alone often, especially while I’m working. And he likes certain foods in glass jars. And we have a dog. So to both make the jars easier to grab and to make potential clean-up easier if he drops one and it breaks, I simply wrap the jars in clear packaging tape. I start by turning the jar upside down and putting three or four large strips across the bottom, depending on the size of the jar. And then I turn it right side up and start at the top and simply wrap the jar from just under the lid down to the bottom around-and-around with the packaging tape. And then I don’t worry if he drops it. There will be a mess, but a small mess, and the glass will be mostly contained, and he can probably clean it up well enough on his own that glass won’t get in the dog’s paws or that the dog won’t lick up glass while trying to lick up any remaining food that my Husband might not be able to fully clean. And the ‘splash’ and ‘bounce’ won’t be an issue, so I don’t have to worry about it bouncing up and getting on the top of his feet. And he should be able to walk around the mess to get shoes on before he cleans it up so he doesn’t get glass in his feet.
When my girls were young, we would put rubber bands around jars to give them a grip to hold onto. It seems that somewhere along the way I came up with the idea of wrapping jars in packaging tape, but I honestly cannot remember now. We still use rubber bands for grip on various items.
In the last week I’ve heard of three elderly people who struggle to eat. A coworker’s elderly mother who has early dementia. Another coworker’s elderly widower friend who seems to also struggle with memory as well as diabetes, and my lovely next door neighbor in her mid-eighties. And I believe the reason is that they do not have any motivation to eat when no one is home, when they are alone. My coworker’s elderly mother does not live alone but is alone most of the time. The other two live alone.
Isn’t it interesting how sharing a meal is such a huge and important part of who we are as humans? Due to my severe diet restrictions, it is rare that I can share the same food with other people, and there are extremely few menu items I can eat at a restaurant. I do not mind going to a restaurant and just sharing the time with a friend while they eat, but I’ve learned it is greatly disturbing to whomever I am with if I do not also eat. I’ve found this is true with coworkers, too, when they bring food for anything at work; it is greatly distressing to them that I cannot share the ‘communal’ food with them. They continuously ask if I can eat various particular foods, and I simply cannot.
I think this is a sad outcome of a fragmented society and fragmented families. We’ve lost the multi-generational caring for one another. We’ve decided that kids need to grow up and move out and conquer the world … on their own. I’ve just never bought into that. Even before I had children, I wanted my future children to be close, to live close; I wanted us to always and forever be a close family, both physically and emotionally, if that fit into God’s plan for all of our lives. Rather than raising my daughters to fly away, I raised them to follow Jesus and whatever plans He has for their lives. If that includes ‘flying away,’ then it does, but the ultimate goal is that they follow Jesus and His plans for their lives.
Being my Husband’s caregiver, living in Florida with so.many.old.people, I see how fragmented families is to our detriment, not our benefit as a culture and a society. My lovely nextdoor neighbor is twice widowed with no children. Though she longed to have children of her own, she was not given that gift. I call her everyday now and walk over at least once a week. She’s not a big fan of texting, though she will text, and she does not have an email or a computer.
I continue to invest a lot into my daughters and our relationship; I cannot imagine not doing so. We are very close but not enmeshed. And I am eternally blessed that they both see us as forever … that we weren’t just slapped together for a temporary season, but that God put us in a permanent family. It could end up that I am alone at some point in the future, but I doubt that it will be because my daughters abandoned me or simply moved on and left me behind.
Families are such a delicate thing … fragile, challenging, often full of turmoil, difficulties, conflict. We don’t always like each other, and there are often those we simply cannot have any kind of relationship with for various reasons. The Bible does not hide these truths about families. When we marry we are to leave our father and mother and cling to our spouse, but it doesn’t mean we have to abandon our parents; we do, however, need to redefine those relationships.
I don’t have answers for these elderly people who won’t eat because they are alone. I can’t help everyone though I’d love to sometimes. In the meantime, I’ll continue to maintain and develop the family relationships that I can, praying, being, listening, knowing that someday, I’ll need them as much or more as they’ve needed me. It’s a sobering thought, growing older and being in need, but if we live long enough, it will become our reality.
I’m humbled by the very first line: Be still, my soul, the Lord is on your side. That has brought me immense comfort this week.
Bear patiently the cross of grief or pain; Leave to your God to order and provide; In ev’ry change He faithful will remain. So very powerful. May the hymn and the words wash over you with the same peace and comfort they’ve washed over me.
1. Be still, my soul! the Lord is on your side; Bear patiently the cross of grief or pain; Leave to your God to order and provide; In ev’ry change he faithful will remain. Be still, my soul! your best, your heav’nly friend Thru’ thorny ways leads to a joyful end.
2. Be still, my soul! your God does undertake To guide the future as he has the past; Your hope, your confidence, let nothing shake; all now mysterious shall be bright at last. Be still, my soul! the waves and winds still know His voice who ruled them while he lived below.
3. Be still, my soul! when dearest friends depart And all is darkened in the vale of tears, Then shall you better know his love, his heart, Who comes to soothe your sorrow and your fears. Be still, my soul! your Jesus can repay From his own fullness all he takes away.
4. Be still, my soul! the hour is hast’ning on When we shall be forever with the Lord, When disappointment, grief, and fear are gone, Sorrow forgot, love’s purest joys restored. Be still my soul! when change and tears are past, All safe and blessed we shall meet at last.
5 At that time there was a Jewish man in the fortress of Susa whose name was Mordecai son of Jair. He was from the tribe of Benjamin and was a descendant of Kish and Shimei. 6 His family[a] had been among those who, with King Jehoiachin[b] of Judah, had been exiled from Jerusalem to Babylon by King Nebuchadnezzar. 7 This man had a very beautiful and lovely young cousin, Hadassah, who was also called Esther. When her father and mother died, Mordecai adopted her into his family and raised her as his own daughter.
Esther 2:5-7
I’ve continued to ponder in Esther since Purim; it’s a fascinating book, fascinating story. Amazing. Miraculous. Powerful. The part that Mordecai played in Esther’s life cannot be separated from who she was when she went before the king.
8 As a result of the king’s decree, Esther, along with many other young women, was brought to the king’s harem at the fortress of Susa and placed in Hegai’s care. 9 Hegai was very impressed with Esther and treated her kindly. He quickly ordered a special menu for her and provided her with beauty treatments. He also assigned her seven maids specially chosen from the king’s palace, and he moved her and her maids into the best place in the harem. 10 Esther had not told anyone of her nationality and family background, because Mordecai had directed her not to do so.
Esther 2:8-10
So great was her love and affection and respect for Mordecai that she obeyed him long after he gave her instruction. He said, so she did. Simple, yes. But also complex. She did not obey him out of fear; there is no fear towards Mordecai in Esther. There is only devotion and respect and trust. She trusts him.
11 Every day Mordecai would take a walk near the courtyard of the harem to find out about Esther and what was happening to her.
Esther 2:11
She trusts him because she knows he cares for her and protects her to the best of his ability. I’ve pondered what that would look like, what it would feel like, and I truly cannot imagine. What would it be like to grow up in a home with a father/father figure who instilled great security and trust and respect and love? Some of you know what that’s like; I do not. In the void of that security and trust and respect and love, fear and anxiety and chaos were planted. Certainly no trust or devotion or respect. No safety.
But God needed Esther to have that foundation of love and security and trust and respect … for such a time as this.
When Mordecai learned about all that had been done, he tore his clothes, put on burlap and ashes, and went out into the city, crying with a loud and bitter wail. 2 He went as far as the gate of the palace, for no one was allowed to enter the palace gate while wearing clothes of mourning. 3 And as news of the king’s decree reached all the provinces, there was great mourning among the Jews. They fasted, wept, and wailed, and many people lay in burlap and ashes. 4 When Queen Esther’s maids and eunuchs came and told her about Mordecai, she was deeply distressed. She sent clothing to him to replace the burlap, but he refused it. 5 Then Esther sent for Hathach, one of the king’s eunuchs who had been appointed as her attendant. She ordered him to go to Mordecai and find out what was troubling him and why he was in mourning. 6 So Hathach went out to Mordecai in the square in front of the palace gate. 7 Mordecai told him the whole story, including the exact amount of money Haman had promised to pay into the royal treasury for the destruction of the Jews. 8 Mordecai gave Hathach a copy of the decree issued in Susa that called for the death of all Jews. He asked Hathach to show it to Esther and explain the situation to her. He also asked Hathach to direct her to go to the king to beg for mercy and plead for her people. 9 So Hathach returned to Esther with Mordecai’s message. 10 Then Esther told Hathach to go back and relay this message to Mordecai: 11 “All the king’s officials and even the people in the provinces know that anyone who appears before the king in his inner court without being invited is doomed to die unless the king holds out his gold scepter. And the king has not called for me to come to him for thirty days.” 12 So Hathach[a] gave Esther’s message to Mordecai. 13 Mordecai sent this reply to Esther: “Don’t think for a moment that because you’re in the palace you will escape when all other Jews are killed. 14 If you keep quiet at a time like this, deliverance and relief for the Jews will arise from some other place, but you and your relatives will die. Who knows if perhaps you were made queen for just such a time as this?”
Esther 4:1-14
Five years have passed since Esther was crowned Queen. Five years since Mordecai instructed Esther not to tell anyone of her heritage, and she has continued to honor Mordecai. That’s quite a long time. Chapters 2and 3 tell more of the story of Mordecai, and they’re worth the few minutes to read. A person in authority knows when to draw the hard line. To speak the Truth in a firm and somewhat harsh way, and this is where Mordecai is at the end of this narrative. The Truth is harsh, and that required him to be very blunt and firm with Esther. And Esther’s reply?
15 Then Esther sent this reply to Mordecai: 16 “Go and gather together all the Jews of Susa and fast for me. Do not eat or drink for three days, night or day. My maids and I will do the same. And then, though it is against the law, I will go in to see the king. If I must die, I must die.” 17 So Mordecai went away and did everything as Esther had ordered him. Esther 4:15-17
Because of Mordecai, Esther was prepared for such a time as this. I lament not having a father or father figure growing up who would give me the beautiful foundation and security that Mordecai gave to Esther. As I was pondering this on the way home from work today while battling the demons from my earthly father, I realized that my background prepared me for something different, and that my such a time as this needs the background I came from. I don’t like that. I weep for the little girl who was raised in such a home with a father and a mother who did the things they did and continue to do her. I long for and crave the security and love that Mordecai gave Esther. The pain consumes me sometimes; the war is fierce and the battles often relentless. But they put me in places the Esther’s of this world will never go. May I be found faithful.
It’s been awhile since I read the book of Esther, so I’m enjoying reading it again during this season of Purim. I read and pondered the first chapter this morning. A celebration lasting 180 days for all his nobles and officials and all the military officers? If everyone was partying, who was running the 127 provinces during this time?! I’m sure he had it covered, but … I think I would grow weary of celebrating for 180 days 🙂 . His display of wealth and power is very impressive.
I’m not going to get into Queen Vashti and the decision she made to not become an object to a bunch of drunk men. However I’ve found it interesting when I’ve read in the Bible how many times it says that people shared information by word of mouth. “18 Before this day is out, the wives of all the king’s nobles throughout Persia and Media will hear what the queen did...” Current media does transfer information quickly, but that’s pretty impressive.
The other thing that really stood out to me is how powerfully the decisions of those in power affect the general population. This has always been true. People are greatly influenced. So this begs the question … what do I allow to influence me? What do you allow to influence you? I enjoy listening to In the Market with Janet Parshall when I’m driving home from work sometimes, and she often says we should approach current events with the Bible in one hand and the news in the other. In other words, filter everything through the Bible. “All of us, like sheep, have strayed away. We have left God’s paths to follow our own.” Isaiah 53:6. We are often compared to sheep in the Bible, mindlessly following. May we choose to follow Jesus. May we filter everything we see and read and hear through the Truth of God’s Holy Word. 13 “You can enter God’s Kingdom only through the narrow gate. The highway to hell[f] is broad, and its gate is wide for the many who choose that way. 14 But the gateway to life is very narrow and the road is difficult, and only a few ever find it. Matthew 7:13-14. May we choose the difficult and very narrow path that leads to life.
These events happened in the days of King Xerxes,[a] who reigned over 127 provinces stretching from India to Ethiopia.[b]2 At that time Xerxes ruled his empire from his royal throne at the fortress of Susa. 3 In the third year of his reign, he gave a banquet for all his nobles and officials. He invited all the military officers of Persia and Media as well as the princes and nobles of the provinces. 4 The celebration lasted 180 days—a tremendous display of the opulent wealth of his empire and the pomp and splendor of his majesty. 5 When it was all over, the king gave a banquet for all the people, from the greatest to the least, who were in the fortress of Susa. It lasted for seven days and was held in the courtyard of the palace garden. 6 The courtyard was beautifully decorated with white cotton curtains and blue hangings, which were fastened with white linen cords and purple ribbons to silver rings embedded in marble pillars. Gold and silver couches stood on a mosaic pavement of porphyry, marble, mother-of-pearl, and other costly stones. 7 Drinks were served in gold goblets of many designs, and there was an abundance of royal wine, reflecting the king’s generosity. 8 By edict of the king, no limits were placed on the drinking, for the king had instructed all his palace officials to serve each man as much as he wanted. 9 At the same time, Queen Vashti gave a banquet for the women in the royal palace of King Xerxes. 10 On the seventh day of the feast, when King Xerxes was in high spirits because of the wine, he told the seven eunuchs who attended him—Mehuman, Biztha, Harbona, Bigtha, Abagtha, Zethar, and Carcas— 11 to bring Queen Vashti to him with the royal crown on her head. He wanted the nobles and all the other men to gaze on her beauty, for she was a very beautiful woman. 12 But when they conveyed the king’s order to Queen Vashti, she refused to come. This made the king furious, and he burned with anger. 13 He immediately consulted with his wise advisers, who knew all the Persian laws and customs, for he always asked their advice. 14 The names of these men were Carshena, Shethar, Admatha, Tarshish, Meres, Marsena, and Memucan—seven nobles of Persia and Media. They met with the king regularly and held the highest positions in the empire. 15 “What must be done to Queen Vashti?” the king demanded. “What penalty does the law provide for a queen who refuses to obey the king’s orders, properly sent through his eunuchs?” 16 Memucan answered the king and his nobles, “Queen Vashti has wronged not only the king but also every noble and citizen throughout your empire. 17 Women everywhere will begin to despise their husbands when they learn that Queen Vashti has refused to appear before the king. 18 Before this day is out, the wives of all the king’s nobles throughout Persia and Media will hear what the queen did and will start treating their husbands the same way. There will be no end to their contempt and anger. 19 “So if it please the king, we suggest that you issue a written decree, a law of the Persians and Medes that cannot be revoked. It should order that Queen Vashti be forever banished from the presence of King Xerxes, and that the king should choose another queen more worthy than she. 20 When this decree is published throughout the king’s vast empire, husbands everywhere, whatever their rank, will receive proper respect from their wives!” 21 The king and his nobles thought this made good sense, so he followed Memucan’s counsel. 22 He sent letters to all parts of the empire, to each province in its own script and language, proclaiming that every man should be the ruler of his own home and should say whatever he pleases.[c] Esther chapter 1, NLT
In honor of Purim, I thought I’d share chapter 9 of the book of Esther. It is so powerful to me that these events happened somewhere around 483-473 BC, and this great holiday is still celebrated today. There is much hope in this story as it tells of the power of our Holy God. The process through which God saved His people was meticulous and detailed, and it was a process. And that’s how God works throughout the Bible. He is meticulous. He is detailed. He works in process. He is continuously in full control. And He is always All-Powerful. Evil is never in full control; God is.
So on March 7[a] the two decrees of the king were put into effect. On that day, the enemies of the Jews had hoped to overpower them, but quite the opposite happened. It was the Jews who overpowered their enemies. 2 The Jews gathered in their cities throughout all the king’s provinces to attack anyone who tried to harm them. But no one could make a stand against them, for everyone was afraid of them. 3 And all the nobles of the provinces, the highest officers, the governors, and the royal officials helped the Jews for fear of Mordecai. 4 For Mordecai had been promoted in the king’s palace, and his fame spread throughout all the provinces as he became more and more powerful. 5 So the Jews went ahead on the appointed day and struck down their enemies with the sword. They killed and annihilated their enemies and did as they pleased with those who hated them. 6 In the fortress of Susa itself, the Jews killed 500 men. 7 They also killed Parshandatha, Dalphon, Aspatha, 8 Poratha, Adalia, Aridatha, 9 Parmashta, Arisai, Aridai, and Vaizatha— 10 the ten sons of Haman son of Hammedatha, the enemy of the Jews. But they did not take any plunder. 11 That very day, when the king was informed of the number of people killed in the fortress of Susa, 12 he called for Queen Esther. He said, “The Jews have killed 500 men in the fortress of Susa alone, as well as Haman’s ten sons. If they have done that here, what has happened in the rest of the provinces? But now, what more do you want? It will be granted to you; tell me and I will do it.” 13 Esther responded, “If it please the king, give the Jews in Susa permission to do again tomorrow as they have done today, and let the bodies of Haman’s ten sons be impaled on a pole.” 14 So the king agreed, and the decree was announced in Susa. And they impaled the bodies of Haman’s ten sons. 15 Then the Jews at Susa gathered together on March 8[b] and killed 300 more men, and again they took no plunder. 16 Meanwhile, the other Jews throughout the king’s provinces had gathered together to defend their lives. They gained relief from all their enemies, killing 75,000 of those who hated them. But they did not take any plunder. 17 This was done throughout the provinces on March 7, and on March 8 they rested,[c] celebrating their victory with a day of feasting and gladness. 18 (The Jews at Susa killed their enemies on March 7 and again on March 8, then rested on March 9,[d] making that their day of feasting and gladness.) 19 So to this day, rural Jews living in remote villages celebrate an annual festival and holiday on the appointed day in late winter,[e] when they rejoice and send gifts of food to each other. 20 Mordecai recorded these events and sent letters to the Jews near and far, throughout all the provinces of King Xerxes, 21 calling on them to celebrate an annual festival on these two days.[f]22 He told them to celebrate these days with feasting and gladness and by giving gifts of food to each other and presents to the poor. This would commemorate a time when the Jews gained relief from their enemies, when their sorrow was turned into gladness and their mourning into joy. 23 So the Jews accepted Mordecai’s proposal and adopted this annual custom. 24 Haman son of Hammedatha the Agagite, the enemy of the Jews, had plotted to crush and destroy them on the date determined by casting lots (the lots were called purim). 25 But when Esther came before the king, he issued a decree causing Haman’s evil plot to backfire, and Haman and his sons were impaled on a sharpened pole. 26 That is why this celebration is called Purim, because it is the ancient word for casting lots. So because of Mordecai’s letter and because of what they had experienced, 27 the Jews throughout the realm agreed to inaugurate this tradition and to pass it on to their descendants and to all who became Jews. They declared they would never fail to celebrate these two prescribed days at the appointed time each year. 28 These days would be remembered and kept from generation to generation and celebrated by every family throughout the provinces and cities of the empire. This Festival of Purim would never cease to be celebrated among the Jews, nor would the memory of what happened ever die out among their descendants. 29 Then Queen Esther, the daughter of Abihail, along with Mordecai the Jew, wrote another letter putting the queen’s full authority behind Mordecai’s letter to establish the Festival of Purim. 30 Letters wishing peace and security were sent to the Jews throughout the 127 provinces of the empire of Xerxes. 31 These letters established the Festival of Purim—an annual celebration of these days at the appointed time, decreed by both Mordecai the Jew and Queen Esther. (The people decided to observe this festival, just as they had decided for themselves and their descendants to establish the times of fasting and mourning.) 32 So the command of Esther confirmed the practices of Purim, and it was all written down in the records.
Well … I’ve been ‘grounded!’ LOL! I now have double pneumonia and am at home for the rest of the week to rest and heal. The PA caught it very early, so I’m hopeful this will clear up quickly, unlike four years ago when it took many weeks.
I’m working at searing this truth into my heart and soul and mind: Salvation is from the Lord. Pastor Colin Smith spends quite a bit of time on this truth in his last sermon in his Jonah series. If you scroll down in the link, you’ll see the sermon notes – not verbatim, but close. He writes and says:
The Bible Talks about Salvation as…
…A Continuing Process
“For the message of the cross is foolishness to those who are perishing, but to us who are being saved it is the power of God.” 1 Corinthians 1:18 (NIV)
In the New Testament salvation is not only a completed transaction, it is a continuing process. Your salvation has begun, but it is not yet complete. We are not yet what we will be. We still struggle with the flesh and fail in many ways. Yet you are not who you were. You have been born again. You are a new person in Jesus Christ. You are being saved, and that process comes from the Lord.
We see this in Jonah. He had known the Lord for many years. But sin got a hold in his life, so God disciplines him and saves him through a storm and a fish.
Then in chapter 4, Jonah falls into sin in a different way, he becomes angry, bitter, frustrated, and God is still saving him. Salvation is more than an event. It is a lifelong process in which God is always at work to make us like Jesus. The continuing process of our salvation (the Bible calls this sanctification) comes from the Lord.
God is truly our Savior from everything we need saved from, and I find that I need to be saved from much in my life 🙂 . I want to try to figure out how to ‘save’ me and mine in all the various situations and circumstances. I want to find the ‘solution’ and I want to be able to be that solution. But as Jonah teaches us, Jonah needed salvation when he was drowning in the sea and falling to the very bottom and had no hope or ability to save himself. Jonah also needed salvation from himself and his sin of running to Tarshish when God called him to Nineveh. I really love how Pastor Colin Smith teaches on Jonah; it is so encouraging how he teaches us about God’s amazing love to Jonah and to us.
It often seems to me that pastors teach that we have to be perfect or our lives are screwed up forever. But Colin Smith teaches something different in his series on Jonah. We’re not doomed if life throws us curve balls. We’re not doomed if we sin. There is hope in the darkness. There are so many things that happen in this life that we have little or no control over, but we can be encouraged and have hope because our All-Powerful God DOES have total and complete control and has already worked out our salvation for our place in eternity and also in and from whatever circumstances or struggles or suffering we find ourselves in.
Holy God, we so desperately need You. You truly are our only Salvation. In our humanity we seem to be on search and rescue missions to find and be and do and become whatever salvation we need at any given time, but all our salvation comes from You. We need rescued and saved from many things in this life, Lord. May we learn to turn first to You for everything. I ask that You would heal me and save me from further illness as I’ve been sick with something almost continuously for a month now. My body is weak, but You are Strong and You are Healer, so I call upon You and ask for Your Mercy. I ask for Your Mercy and Grace and Healing and Peace and Salvation for all who read here and for my family and friends and for myself. You are God, Holy, Patient, Loving, Healing God, Savior, Salvation. Thank You; thank You. I love You and so desperately need You. In Jesus’ Holy Name, amen.
I would love to write more on these sermons, but I’ve been sick a lot lately. I had a cold-type virus that turned into a sinus infection where the second time I went to the doctor she told me that due to being a caregiver and how worn down I am that I must be very careful or I’ll get very, very ill; she wasn’t mean but she was emphatic and firm. She put me to bed for three days, and I eventually recovered. Then I got a stomach virus this past week, and now I have that sinus thing again. Allergies are also brutal, but the doctor told me my immune system is shot right now, so I’m just not able to fight things off. I’ve had to take a lot of sick days at work and turn down a position that would have given me more hours.
So this series on Jonah is timely for me. But it’s also a whole different perspective than I’ve ever thought of Jonah before, and it totally makes sense to me … and it’s a great encouragement for all Christians, particularly those of us who have been Believers for a long time. So many parts of this series that have been like pieces of a puzzle being put into place.
So I hope you take the time to listen. I’ve listened to several of the sermons more than once and will eventually listen to all of them multiple times, I’m sure, because there’s just so much truth in each of them, and I want it to seep into my very soul.
I hope you are all well. I’m not ignoring anyone 🙂 . May we continue to choose God, to choose to believe that God truly IS The Great I Am and that He loves us with an everlasting love and that He has never left us nor forsaken us and that He truly is right here, with us, right now, in the midst of all our suffering and trials and challenges and even in the midst of all our joys and celebrations. He truly is God, Sovereign, Just, All-Powerful, and Omnipresent. How I love Him!
When my girls were growing up I decided that my they would always have the choice to obey me. They could choose to obey me the first time and life would be in favor with me. Or they could choose to disobey me, endure the discipline, and then obey me. I called this The Easy Way or The Hard Way. They could obey me the first time and be in favor with me – the easy way. Or they could disobey me, endure discipline, and then obey me – the hard way.
When we started watching a little girl many years ago, she decided to test that. I told her that in our house she gets to choose either the easy way or the hard way, and both my girls immediately cried out, “The easy way! Choose the easy way!” LOL!
I’ve noticed that this is the theme of the whole Bible. We get to choose the easy way or the hard way. If we obey God, we remain in His favor – this doesn’t mean life isn’t hard or harsh or difficult or that we won’t endure suffering, but it does mean that we remain in His favor. Or we can choose to disobey Him, endure the discipline, and then face our God in repentance. Some people never choose God this side of eternity, but every single person will bow to Him when they cross over. Every.single.person.
As you read the Bible, especially the Old Testament, watch this pattern repeat itself over and over. And choose to obey God now. Choose Him. Choose Jesus. Acknowledge that God IS, that Jesus died for your sins, that He loves you and longs for a relationship with you, repent of your sins – something we must continually do all of our lives, and choose Jesus.
“If you decide to go to Tarshish, there will always be a boat to get you there.”(3:39 mark)
“Now Jonah was running from the Lord, and there was the very opportunity waiting for him; the boat was there in the port. Never trust circumstances when you are refusing the word of God. For if you are running from God, there will always be opportunities for your sin and your rebellion to become worse. Now thank God that’s not the end of the story. Jonah’s sinful heart is taking him away from the Lord, but God wonderfully in His mercy is set and determined on bringing Jonah back.”(4:38 mark)
(5:56 mark)“I want to suggest that in the story we’re going to look at today of the conversion of the ship’s crew, we have one of the clearest pictures of the Gospel in all of the Bible. If you want to know simply, and if you’re the kind of person who thinks in pictures, what is the Gospel all about, you’ll never get it clearer I think than right here. Because the Gospel at its heart is about two things. It’s about the storm, and it is about the sacrifice. It is about the storm of God’s judgement, and it is about the sacrifice by which we can be saved from that judgement. And these two things are powerfully presented to us right here in this part of the story we’ve come to today.
“So let’s look first at the storm then, beginning at verse four [Jonah 1:4]. ‘The Lord sent a great wind on the sea, and such a violent storm arose that the ship threatened to break up.’ Now let’s pause there for a moment and think about this. God sent the storm. God sent the storm. Storms don’t happen by chance. Folks talk a lot about mother nature as if nature operated by its own independent power. But the Bible never suggests to us that nature operates by its own independent power. The Bible says to us that God sustains all things by His powerful word. That’s Hebrews chapter one and verse three. When the disciples were with the Lord Jesus – and remember He calmed the storm, the disciples said about Jesus, ‘Who is this? Even the wind and the waves obey Him.’
“So when it comes to storms, when it comes to disasters, when it comes to tragedies in life, you have two choices as to what to believe. Either you will believe that God is in control even of these things, or you will end up concluding that He is somehow a helpless or at least passive observer.
“Now, Christians debate how we understand the Bible on these issues, and someone might well say, you know if you’re saying that God is sovereign, controlling all things, doesn’t that give you a problem if you say that God is sovereign even over storms that wreck ships. Listen, I would rather live with the problem of a God who is sovereign over all things than live with the problem of a God who is a helpless or passive observer of the worst things that happen in life. Wouldn’t you?
“God sends the storm. The storm is God’s intervention in Jonah’s life. You may want to think about this a little, but I thank God that God did not leave Jonah to his own free will. Jonah’s will was moving right in the wrong direction into a wasted life. And but for the intervention of God, that’s where he would have remained. But God was messing with Jonah’s rebellious will to save him from a life wasted in disobedience.
Don’t you thank God for the way in which His hand has intervened in your life? And where would you have been if it was not for His gracious intervention in your life? And at the same time this God who steps in and messes with all kinds of human affairs; He is stepping in to redeem a ship’s crew, to touch the lives of a group of men who know not the first thing about Him. Our God is amazing. Even His judgements are filled with His mercy.
And if He can use the crucifixion of His own Son to bring the redemption of the world, you can trust Him and His wise and loving hand in the darkest storms and the greatest tragedies of your life as well. Our minds will struggle with this but I want to encourage you to hold tightly to the comfort of knowing that God is sovereign and that though we live in a confusing world, we do not live in a world that operates on random chance.” (begins at 5:56 mark)
This verse is especially powerful to me as it describes the character of our Holy God. We want God to answer now. We want Him to fulfil His promises to us now. But while God is working everything out for His glory and our good, He is doing so in His time, and His time is rarely our time 🙂 .
God’s time often seems to tarry, to be slow in coming. And Habakkuk says we are to wait patiently.
God WILL fulfil all of His promises; it will surely take place.
And God will not be delayed.
Take heart, my dear friends. God is Powerful. He is continuously working. If we could see and know the whole of what God knows, we would absolutely fall on our face before Him and concede that He truly IS in control and He truly IS working everything, EVERY thing, out for His glory and our good in His time and in His ways, which are always the ultimate best every time.
Holy God, thank You for writing that You know that waiting on You seems slow to us. Fill us with Your patience as wee wait. Fill us with Your grace and mercy as we wait. And may we celebrate and be ready when You do act, for You will! You will not delay! Thank You! In Jesus’ Holy Name, amen.
I heard part of one of Pastor Colin Smith’s sermons on Jonah recently and made a note to look it up and listen because the part I heard had such a unique perspective. And … wow. This is SO good, especially for ‘mature’ Christians. He titled the series, How to Avoid A God-Centered Life. There are eight sermons in the series, and I’m working my way through them.
At the beginning of the first sermon, Resist God’s Call to Something New, at the 2:51 mark, Pastor Colin Smith says:
“At the end of the book, even after the miracle of being saved by the fish. Even after the triumph of a whole city turning in repentance towards God. Even after all these miracles in being used in such a singular way by God, you find that this man, Jonah, is angry, he’s dissatisfied with his life, and he is out of sorts with God. Now that takes us into a surprising truth, that those who throw themselves most fully into the service of Jesus Christ often experience inner conflict more intensely, more intensely, than others. When you get into the heart of spiritual conflict in ministry like Jonah was, you will find more inner struggle, not less. Read the lives of any of the great saints of history, any of the great Christian leaders. Read the life of a man like Augustine, or Martin Luther, and you will find as you read the lives of great Christians that they experienced intense struggle in their inner lives, more intense than many others.”
It’s challenging to know that the closer we get to Jesus, the more fully we live our lives following Him, the more inner struggle we will experience. I could really relate to what Pastor Colin Smith had to say. And while it’s challenging to know this, it’s also comforting to know that I’m normal, that what I’m experiencing is normal.
I want to listen back and share more quotes from what I’ve heard so far, so if I have time to do so, I will. In the meantime, you will not be disappointed taking the time to listen, and ponder.
Here are the individual links to all the sermons in this series:
Habakkuk is a short little three-chapter book towards the end of the Old Testament. I hadn’t thought of it in awhile until I heard a preacher on the radio mention it recently. I cannot remember who the preacher was, but it propelled me to read the book again. We think the depravity of our times is new, but the Bible proves there’s nothing new under the sun.
2 How long, O Lord, must I call for help? But you do not listen!
Habakkuk 1:2NLT
“How long, O Lord,” is a phrase written in several places in the Bible and one everyone can relate to during at least one season in their life.
5 The Lord replied,“Look around at the nations; look and be amazed![a] For I am doing something in your own day, something you wouldn’t believe even if someone told you about it. 6 I am raising up the Babylonians,[b] a cruel and violent people. They will march across the world and conquer other lands.
Habakkuk 1:5-6 NLT
Here is another theme seen more than once in the Bible that always amazes me due to the absolute Power of our Holy God. God says that HE is raising up the evil Babylonians to do HIS bidding. There’s not one evil person who believes God is more powerful than they are, but He is, and He even uses their evil for His purposes. That is mind-blowing.
I will climb up to my watchtower and stand at my guardpost. There I will wait to see what the Lord says and how he[a] will answer my complaint. 2 Then the Lord said to me, “Write my answer plainly on tablets, so that a runner can carry the correct message to others.
Habakkuk 2:1-2 NLT
I will stand at my guard post and station myself on the ramparts. I will watch to see what He will say to me, and how I should answer when corrected.
I find this interesting. Habakkuk 1:1 says, “This is the message that the prophet Habakkuk received in a vision.” In this vision Habakkuk cries out to God and God answers. The Berean Standard Bible version captures the wording more accurately according to the Hebrew. The Hebrew word for corrected is 8433 towkechah, and it means: 1. chastisement 2. figuratively (by words) correction, refutation, proof (even in defence). Isn’t it interesting that Habakkuk states his complaint to God and yet knows he needs to be corrected? I’m sure that scholars much brighter than I who have studied this thoroughly understand it much better. But I wonder … as I’ve come to difficult places and dark places and confusing places in my life, I’ve often realized that if one of us – God or me – is wrong, then it must be me because God is never wrong. So I need God to correct me and draw me back into alignment with Him. I wonder if this is where Habakkuk was in this verse.
14 For as the waters fill the sea, the earth will be filled with an awareness of the glory of the Lord.
Habakkuk 2:14NLT
You will want to read these three short chapters yourself because I’m just picking out a few verses, but I love this image and truth. For as the waters fill the sea, the earth will be filled with an awareness of the glory of the Lord. WOW. We cannot escape it. For every knee will bow and every tongue will confess that Jesus Christ is Lord. It WILL happen. Even the rocks will cry out. When the fall happened in Genesis 2-3, all of creation was separated from God, all of creation instantly was out of alignment with our Holy God, and all of creation longs for Jesus to return and set everything right again. Take a moment, close your eyes, and let the glory of the Lord fill you with an awareness of Him and His glory; let is wash all over and in and through you as the waters fill the sea. It’s powerful.
20 But the Lord is in his holy Temple. Let all the earth be silent before him.”
Habakkuk 2:20 NLT
This is a powerful image. The Lord IS in His Holy Temple; let ALL the earth be silent before Him. When God says it’s time to be silent, He means, it is time to be silent. May we take time to be silent before our Holy God and just be, and listen. Some time ago I heard someone ask a long-time professor what is different about this generation of kids, and he immediately answered, “They are distracted.” We have cell phones and are instantly connected continuously, and it makes us distracted. I’ve noticed I’m much more distracted than I’ve ever been, and I’m not sure how to ‘fix’ that. It makes it challenging to sit and be still and silent before our Holy God for any length of time. Time to quiet our souls and our minds and our thoughts and our whole beings and be silent and still and quiet before our Holy God. But we desperately need this. So many times in the Gospels it is written that even Jesus went away to be alone and pray and just be with His Father in heaven; if Jesus needed that, how much more so do we?!
2 I have heard all about you, Lord. I am filled with awe by your amazing works. In this time of our deep need, help us again as you did in years gone by. And in your anger, remember your mercy.
Habakkuk 3:1-2NLT
This immediately reminded me of the last chapter of Job:
Then Job replied to the Lord: 2 “I know that you can do anything, and no one can stop you. 3 You asked, ‘Who is this that questions my wisdom with such ignorance?’ It is I—and I was talking about things I knew nothing about, things far too wonderful for me. 4 You said, ‘Listen and I will speak! I have some questions for you, and you must answer them.’ 5 I had only heard about you before, but now I have seen you with my own eyes. 6 I take back everything I said, and I sit in dust and ashes to show my repentance.”
Job 42:1-6 NLT
Job has been corrected, reproved, and repented. Habakkuk has also been corrected, reproved, and repented. May we also be continuously willing to do the same. We all sin. We all need correction and reproof. And we all need to repent so we can more fully align our hearts and souls and minds and thoughts and goals and our whole beings with our Holy God. Hopefully we sin less the longer we live with our Jesus, but we still sin. And we still need Jesus.
2 I have heard all about you, Lord. I am filled with awe by your amazing works. In this time of our deep need, help us again as you did in years gone by. And in your anger, remember your mercy.
3 I see God moving across the deserts from Edom,[b] the Holy One coming from Mount Paran.[c] His brilliant splendor fills the heavens, and the earth is filled with his praise. 4 His coming is as brilliant as the sunrise. Rays of light flash from his hands, where his awesome power is hidden.
5 Pestilence marches before him; plague follows close behind. 6 When he stops, the earth shakes. When he looks, the nations tremble. He shatters the everlasting mountains and levels the eternal hills. He is the Eternal One![d] 7 I see the people of Cushan in distress, and the nation of Midian trembling in terror.
8 Was it in anger, Lord, that you struck the rivers and parted the sea? Were you displeased with them? No, you were sending your chariots of salvation! 9 You brandished your bow and your quiver of arrows. You split open the earth with flowing rivers. 10 The mountains watched and trembled. Onward swept the raging waters. The mighty deep cried out, lifting its hands in submission. 11 The sun and moon stood still in the sky as your brilliant arrows flew and your glittering spear flashed.
12 You marched across the land in anger and trampled the nations in your fury. 13 You went out to rescue your chosen people, to save your anointed ones. You crushed the heads of the wicked and stripped their bones from head to toe. 14 With his own weapons, you destroyed the chief of those who rushed out like a whirlwind, thinking Israel would be easy prey. 15 You trampled the sea with your horses, and the mighty waters piled high.
16 I trembled inside when I heard this; my lips quivered with fear. My legs gave way beneath me,[e] and I shook in terror. I will wait quietly for the coming day when disaster will strike the people who invade us.
17 Even though the fig trees have no blossoms, and there are no grapes on the vines; even though the olive crop fails, and the fields lie empty and barren; even though the flocks die in the fields, and the cattle barns are empty, 18 yet I will rejoice in the Lord! I will be joyful in the God of my salvation! 19 The Sovereign Lord is my strength! He makes me as surefooted as a deer,[f] able to tread upon the heights.
Habakkuk 3NLT
These verses are so powerful, and the end is striking and convicting. Habakkuk describes a ‘scorched earth’ scenario, and within that, he writes, “yet I will rejoice in the Lord! I will be joyful in the God of my salvation! The Sovereign Lord is my strength! He makes me as surefooted as a deer, able to tread upon the heights.” Wow.
When the darkness surrounds us and is so thick we can feel it and not see. When all the life in our world has lost its blossoms and fruit and everything fails and the fields and barns in our world are empty and we have nothing, will we still be able to say, “Yet I will rejoice in the Lord?”
Habakkuk can write this because he knows that with God there is hope, because God is life and light, and this world is temporary but eternity with Him for those who have chosen Jesus is forever. In our darkness and pain and ‘scorched earth’ seasons of our lives, may we yet praise Him, trust Him, and know that He IS. That God will never leave us nor forsake us, even now, even in this darkness. He.is.here.
Holy God, I don’t pretend to know and understand everything about this powerful little book in Your Holy Word, but I am thankful it’s here. We need to know You are with us in the darkness, when our lives seem to have been destroyed. We need to know how to be corrected and to be drawn into alignment with You. We need to yet praise You. We need to see You moving and to see Your brilliant splendor fill the heavens and to see the earth filled with Your praise. Your coming is as brilliant as the sunrise; rays of light flash from Your hands where Your awesome power is hidden. 3 I see God moving across the deserts from Edom, [b]the Holy One coming from Mount Paran. [c]His brilliant splendor fills the heavens, and the earth is filled with his praise. 4 His coming is as brilliant as the sunrise. Rays of light flash from his hands, where his awesome power is hidden. Fill our hearts and minds and souls and spirits and bodies with an awareness of the glory of the Lord as the waters fill the sea, and enable us to take time to be silent before You. We need You, Jesus, we so desperately need You. I pray for Your peace and Your healing to fill our souls and our beings, our minds and our hearts and our spirits. We love You and worship You and praise You, Holy God. In Jesus Holy Name I pray, amen.
11 As Jesus continued on toward Jerusalem, he reached the border between Galilee and Samaria. 12 As he entered a village there, ten men with leprosy stood at a distance, 13 crying out, “Jesus, Master, have mercy on us!” 14 He looked at them and said, “Go show yourselves to the priests.”[b] And as they went, they were cleansed of their leprosy. 15 One of them, when he saw that he was healed, came back to Jesus, shouting, “Praise God!” 16 He fell to the ground at Jesus’ feet, thanking him for what he had done. This man was a Samaritan. 17 Jesus asked, “Didn’t I heal ten men? Where are the other nine? 18 Has no one returned to give glory to God except this foreigner?” 19 And Jesus said to the man, “Stand up and go. Your faith has healed you.[c]”
Luke 17:11-19
Leprosy is a horrific disease and very visible. In Bible times people with leprosy were isolated:
So it’s a BIG deal that Jesus healed ten men with leprosy. And yet, only one chose to thank Him.
I want to be the one, don’t you? I want to be the one who remembers to thank Jesus every time He does something for me. I don’t always remember. I forget sometimes. I want to remember but life picks us up and carries us forward with it, and we have to stop and turn around and pause, and thank our Lord, our Savior, our Holy God, for His goodness and graciousness and mercy towards us.
Lord, we want to be the one who remembers to say thank you. We forget sometimes. We get carried away by the blessing or sometimes it seems insignificant or any number of things. But we don’t want that. We want to be the one who always remembers to stop and say thank you. Thank You, Jesus, for being God, for being All-Powerful, for being Good, for being Love, and for choosing to love us. Thank You for all the itty bitty tiny things You do for us and the great big things and everything in between. Thank You for all the many things You do for us that we never know about. Thank You. In Jesus’ Holy Name, amen.
English Standard Version Many are the plans in the mind of a man, but it is the purpose of the LORD that will stand.
Proverbs 19:21
I am getting better. I’m surprised at what a hit this took to my system, and I’m continuously surprised at how things change as I get older! LOL! I really wanted to be able to take that position and make it work, but my body just could not do it. I have to trust God, and how wonderful it is that we can trust our Holy God! My body is still a bit weak, not quite there, yet, but it will get there; I just have to be patient and careful.
New International Version In their hearts humans plan their course, but the LORD establishes their steps.
I am thankful the Lord establishes my steps. If I had moved into that position and my health not been able to handle it, then I would have likely been out of a job as the company did not plan to replace the position I’ve been in. As it is, I was able to keep my position and not lose my job. Thank You Jesus 🙂 .
I do not know what God has planned, but I do know that He has a plan. I believe Him. His purpose will prevail. He is establishing my steps. And in my little human mind, I cannot imagine what He has prepared for me! I love my Lord, my God, my Jesus, my Savior, my Redeemer.
Lord, Holy God, Savior, Lover of our souls, Strong Tower, All-Powerful, Omniscient God, we worship You and praise You. Thank You for protecting me and for protecting my job. Thank You for guiding my steps and for working out Your purpose in my life and in this situation. Please continue to heal my body, mind, heart, soul, and spirit. I lift up the one who is reading and ask the same for them, that You would reveal Your Love and Power to them, that You would show them that You are God and that You are here, with them, caring for them. May Your purposes always prevail. Infuse us with Your peace and confidence that He who began a good work in us will complete it till the very end. This life is often very hard. We fight through the struggles and sludge through the mire and the clay, and yet You never leave us. You stay with us. You protect us and care for us in ways we will never see or know this side of eternity, but You do it anyway. Thank You, thank You, Jesus. And then You put us on solid ground and help us and guide us as we walk along. Thank You, Jesus. You are so good to us. Thank You, Jesus. Comfort us, heal us, reveal Your Power and Love to us, provide for us, guide our steps, fill our thoughts and minds with the thoughts and mind of Christ, and fill us overflowing with Your Peace that passes all understanding. In Jesus’ Holy Name, amen.
Thank you SO very much for praying for me and for checking in. I am deeply grateful. I was to transfer to another position at work and ended up having extreme anxiety over it. The position would have been very beneficial in many ways, but the extreme anxiety was not good. I decided to talk to my manager about it, and she was actually very helpful and gave me great perspective and insight and guided me in declining the job offer. I literally declined the offer at the very last minute, so I’m sure there are some people who are very much not happy. But, when I went to the doctor last week when I was sick, she was very concerned for my health. She mentioned that people in similar situations are wearing themselves out and getting very ill. And two different friends shared very sad stories of family who have suffered greatly being caregivers. And there are just many things that only I can do for my Husband as his Caregiver. And the new position would have made these things very difficult on me.
I couldn’t figure out if the extreme anxiety was because God was telling me no, or because the enemy was trying to keep me from doing something good. That’s when I decided to talk to my manager and see what she had to say as I needed a different perspective, and there are some things about the environment I would have transferred to that I didn’t know how to interpret, and she was able to give insight as to what I saw. When I went in to talk to her on Monday I had no idea how the conversation would go. I sincerely want to only do what God wants me to do, but sometimes it seems hard to discern that. The conversation was really good, and I was confident that I needed to turn down the new position.
When I went in to work today I was a little concerned for various reasons, and when I saw I had a message from HR I was leery of opening it. But the HR woman was so kind saying she understood Caregiving firsthand and that she would be praying for my Husband and me and that God would provide the right thing at the right time for us. I was so humbled; it was like a hug from God. Isn’t it amazing where another brother or sister in our Lord Jesus Christ shows up! I needed her words today to wrap up this process and give me peace.
My body is pretty much recovered from being sick although I can tell my lungs took a little hit, so I’ll be nurturing those back to full health. And my system took a bit of a hit from that extreme anxiety, so that will just take some time. And that’s okay.
29 “And don’t be concerned about what to eat and what to drink. Don’t worry about such things.30 These things dominate the thoughts of unbelievers all over the world, but your Father already knows your needs.31 Seek the Kingdom of God above all else, and he will give you everything you need. Luke 12:29-31 NLT
I’ve been reading in Luke lately, and verse 30 has really got my attention: 30 These things dominate the thoughts of unbelievers all over the world, but your Father already knows your needs. Ouch. Jesus is speaking here, and of course He is right 🙂 . It’s challenging, sometimes, to not let the worries and cares of this life dominate our thoughts in the same ways of unbelievers. May we continuously lay all our burdens before our Lord, at the feet of our Savior Jesus.
Thank You, Jesus, for these who have prayed for me and continue to do so; what a gift, a precious and priceless gift they are. Hear their prayers, Lord, and return to them blessings a hundredfold for caring enough to take time to pray for me. What a blessing. What a gift. I am so very humbled and so very grateful. May Your favor rest on their lives and may You move in powerful and personal ways in their lives for Your glory and their good. Holy Holy Holy are You Lord God Almighty, who was and is and is to come. Holy Holy Holy are You Lord God Almighty, the earth is filled with Your Glory. King of all kings. Lord of all lords. Ruler of all rulers. All Powerful and in control of everything all the time. God. Father. Good. Rock. Redeemer. Creator. Lover of our souls. Our Strong Tower. Thank You for being God, and thank You for choosing and loving us. We desperately need You and love You and worship You and praise You. In Jesus’ Holy Name, amen.
22 Then, turning to his disciples, Jesus said, “That is why I tell you not to worry about everyday life—whether you have enough food to eat or enough clothes to wear.23 For life is more than food, and your body more than clothing.24 Look at the ravens. They don’t plant or harvest or store food in barns, for God feeds them. And you are far more valuable to him than any birds!25 Can all your worries add a single moment to your life?26 And if worry can’t accomplish a little thing like that, what’s the use of worrying over bigger things?
27 “Look at the lilies and how they grow. They don’t work or make their clothing, yet Solomon in all his glory was not dressed as beautifully as they are.28 And if God cares so wonderfully for flowers that are here today and thrown into the fire tomorrow, he will certainly care for you. Why do you have so little faith?
29 “And don’t be concerned about what to eat and what to drink. Don’t worry about such things.30 These things dominate the thoughts of unbelievers all over the world, but your Father already knows your needs.31 Seek the Kingdom of God above all else, and he will give you everything you need.
32 “So don’t be afraid, little flock. For it gives your Father great happiness to give you the Kingdom.
33 “Sell your possessions and give to those in need. This will store up treasure for you in heaven! And the purses of heaven never get old or develop holes. Your treasure will be safe; no thief can steal it and no moth can destroy it.34 Wherever your treasure is, there the desires of your heart will also be.
I’ve had this virus, probably an old-fashioned cold that turned into a sinus infection, for ten days now. And while some of it is getting better, my body is still pretty weak and I was struggling to make it through the end of work today. Since I had double pneumonia several years back, I was a bit concerned at how weak I was, so I stopped by an urgent care on the way home today thinking they’d tell me I was fine and this was just taking longer and I could go back to work tomorrow. The good news is my lungs are clear, today, but she said that while I’m getting better that I won’t kick it and it will come full back if I don’t rest for the next three days. Full rest. Three days. She was emphatic, so much so I asked if she had talked to my daughters, which she couldn’t have because I’ve never seen her before. So I had to call out sick tomorrow after having had to call out sick a couple days last week. Don’t like having to use sick days in January. I think I might watch some TV. My Husband records movies, so I should have a good collection to choose from. He’s sick, too, and I had to take him in to get antibiotics yesterday. If you think about it, please pray for me. My body is just so worn down in its new ‘normal’ state. I’m scheduled to move to a full-time position in a couple weeks, too, so I really need my strength. And for my Husband who seems to be responding to his antibiotics which is very good; want to avoid needing another hospital visit with him. Thank you 🙂
I have a coworker whose mother has dementia, and while she does not live with her mother, or her mother does not live with her, she helps with her mother a lot, and her mother calls her all the time wanting and needing. We were talking about Caregiver Fatigue, a new-to-me term I recently learned about, while another coworker was near. His father’s memory is declining, but his father lives two hours away. He made the comment that he deals with the same things we do.
And as I’ve thought about all that throughout the day, I’ve realized a few things. No, he has no idea what I deal with. And while my coworker whose mother lives in the same town understands, she gets to leave her mother and go home and not have to deal with her for extended periods of time. I’m not undermining their situations or demeaning them in any way, and I do have compassion for them because this is hard. Really hard.
But they do not know, because they cannot know – and that’s okay – what it’s like to never get a break, for home to no longer be a respite from life that feeds your soul but has become the place where my hardest and most exhausting work never ends.
I’ve read several novels by Daphne Simpkins. In her bio it is written:
Daphne Simpkins is an acclaimed Alabama author and speaker whose work centers on the profound experiences of caregiving, aging, and memory care, deeply informed by her lifelong role as a caregiver and her Christian faith, inspired by the parable of the Good Samaritan. With a distinctive voice that blends empathy, insight, and Southern storytelling …
Her beautifully written novel, Belle, is about the wife of a man with Alzheimer’s. The book’s description on Amazon includes this sentence:
Contrary to the reputation of caregiving, Belle Deerborn is anything but trapped, depressed, or hopeless.
I can’t say I’m in that same place, but the book has tenderly seeped into my soul as Simpkins delicately describes the thoughts of a caregiver. And I find myself comforted … I’m not alone. I’m not crazy for having these thoughts, for having these feelings.
I firmly believe there are those with the gift of caregiving and nursing; I am not one of those. I do not have either gift. My daughters will still emphatically state that they would have much rather been at their dad’s when they were sick than at their mom’s because I go into a full blown panic attack. It’s something I’ve spent countless hours in prayer pleading God to remove over the years, but as He never did I’ve accepted it’s a thorn in the flesh for me.
So, this role takes an enormous amount of mental and spiritual energy from me. I have to pray a lot that God would strengthen me and fill me with the things I need to get through this day, this hour, this moment. And I don’t think I’m alone. Being surrounded by older people down here in Florida, I have many customers who are or who have been caregivers, and they always, always, show enormous compassion when they learn I’m my Husband’s caregiver. Interesting, I just realized they never quiz me or drill me; they simply accept that it’s true and show enormous compassion. And it’s in their eyes, this compassion. Their eyes say, “I know, I know.”
Mornings are the hardest for me. Another day of challenges. Will another ‘something’ happen today? How will we get through this another day? Will I have enough strength? Will I handle it with care and grace or will I lose it and fall apart? How much longer can I last like this? Unlike the character in the novel above, hope seems elusive for me and I often feel trapped and depressed and panicked, but I can’t show that when I have to deal with the multiple things that come up.
A customer came in last week whose Husband died during the holidays, and without giving me hardly any detail, she said it was a gift. Now she’s having to make her own doctor’s appointments to deal with her own health (and they seemed pretty serious), but now, now she can.
Every level is hard. The parent or loved one who is miles away, the one who lives close but not in your house, and especially the one who lives with you for whose care you are solely responsible. It is not bad or wrong to not know what it’s like to be a caregiver, and if you do not know I hope you never have to. But once you do know, it breeds a deep compassion for all other caregivers.
I’ll never forget the encounter I had with a woman before we left Texas. I was purchasing something from her, and her conversation was neutral, however when she learned I was a caregiver her whole countenance changed, literally changed. “You’re a caregiver?!” Because she had been one, too, for many years before her charge (I think it was her special needs son, iirc) passed on. She literally came into my world emotionally. I was still pretty new to this whole thing and hadn’t yet experienced it enough to understand her reaction and response, but I do now.
Lord, Holy God, mercy, grace, peace, hope, and endurance. I pray for these, begging for them, for Your mercy and grace and peace and hope and endurance. You are my God, You love me, You are Hope, You are my Strength, You are my Provider. I choose You. I trust You, Lord, for You are my God and my times are in Your hands. I love You and so desperately need You. In Jesus’ Holy Name, amen.
BlendingAme 