So this past weekend I went to Seattle to visit with The Twins. More than just a normal romp, it was also about just spending time with them as they go through a very difficult time. Their Dad, a most awesome fellow, was diagnosed with cancer about a year ago - and now the word is he may not see 2015. I only spoke in depth to one sister about this - the other knows I am there if she wants to talk. Mostly we just focused on having fun and being as normal as possible in light of all the drama in all of our lives. Went to see Benedict Cumberbatch in 'Frankenstein' for Halloween, eating a LOT of waffles. And a really special treat: Fran and I went to the zoo on Saturday specifically to see the red pandas. As we stood there reading the map, a very nice zookeeper asked if he could help us. When we enthusiastically asked the way to the red pandas, he said "Well they aren't actually out today, but follow me". John, the most awesome keeper, took us behind the scenes to meet the pandas up close. It was really amazing - got to feed them, pet them (insanely soft!!) and it was just a terrific gift he gave us. He said he was glad to because he likes giving visitors really special moments with the animals if he can, and it reminds him to be thankful everyday that this IS HIS JOB!
So, high on the glow of a very good visit with two of my best friends, I head home. When I landed, there was a message from my kennel that there was an incident earlier that day, and could I call. Turns out that Sebi had a seizure - but he seemed in reasonably good kip when I picked him up. And I love my kennel - they are staffed by vet techs & vet students so of course he was well looked after. I called my vet on the way home and set up an appointment for the next day (and by the time I made it to the kennel, like 15 minutes after this all started, they had already spoken with the vet's office - good folks all around).
Sebi had another seizure as soon as I got home. It is terrifying to watch something so overwhelming knowing you are helpless. Cut to the chase - he had 4 seizures in as many hours and in the emergency room, proceeded to have another. The only benefit of that was it got him to the head of the line immediately.
He's home now, and very woozy from the drugs managing his seizures on top of the other things he had to imbibe to be tested/x-rayed/ all of it. He is comfortable enough, although his back legs are determined to go their own way about 50% of the time. His tumor seems to have come back - we're testing to see if it is the type that may have gone to his brain, hence the fits.
It's been a very stressful 48 hours, and one where I have had to seriously think about Sebi's fate. It's part of the deal we all have with our pets - that we will take care of them and love them and when it's time send them off with peace if we can - but it's mostly way back in our minds. Until now. Sebi is 13, which is on the aged side for a dog of his size. He may have a few more months and even years in him, but I have to make sure they are *good* years. I had the initial results of his biopsy, but the vet needs to talk with the oncologist in detail to get a better sense of what is going on. He's probably going to need an MRI (which means more anesthesia, which makes me anxious because the barbiturates for the seizures already have him stoned and impaired) before we have the picture at 100%.
I'm not going to do anything wild for my lovable and rather daft old dog. I am going to make him comfortable, and I am going to make sure we get as many *good* days together as we can. He's been a huge part of my life for 9 years, I love him to pieces, and I only sobbed once so far (in public of course).
It looks like the next couple of months are going to be tough on many fronts, but I know we will all get through even if we get a little beat up and bloodied as we do it.
So, high on the glow of a very good visit with two of my best friends, I head home. When I landed, there was a message from my kennel that there was an incident earlier that day, and could I call. Turns out that Sebi had a seizure - but he seemed in reasonably good kip when I picked him up. And I love my kennel - they are staffed by vet techs & vet students so of course he was well looked after. I called my vet on the way home and set up an appointment for the next day (and by the time I made it to the kennel, like 15 minutes after this all started, they had already spoken with the vet's office - good folks all around).
Sebi had another seizure as soon as I got home. It is terrifying to watch something so overwhelming knowing you are helpless. Cut to the chase - he had 4 seizures in as many hours and in the emergency room, proceeded to have another. The only benefit of that was it got him to the head of the line immediately.
He's home now, and very woozy from the drugs managing his seizures on top of the other things he had to imbibe to be tested/x-rayed/ all of it. He is comfortable enough, although his back legs are determined to go their own way about 50% of the time. His tumor seems to have come back - we're testing to see if it is the type that may have gone to his brain, hence the fits.
It's been a very stressful 48 hours, and one where I have had to seriously think about Sebi's fate. It's part of the deal we all have with our pets - that we will take care of them and love them and when it's time send them off with peace if we can - but it's mostly way back in our minds. Until now. Sebi is 13, which is on the aged side for a dog of his size. He may have a few more months and even years in him, but I have to make sure they are *good* years. I had the initial results of his biopsy, but the vet needs to talk with the oncologist in detail to get a better sense of what is going on. He's probably going to need an MRI (which means more anesthesia, which makes me anxious because the barbiturates for the seizures already have him stoned and impaired) before we have the picture at 100%.
I'm not going to do anything wild for my lovable and rather daft old dog. I am going to make him comfortable, and I am going to make sure we get as many *good* days together as we can. He's been a huge part of my life for 9 years, I love him to pieces, and I only sobbed once so far (in public of course).
It looks like the next couple of months are going to be tough on many fronts, but I know we will all get through even if we get a little beat up and bloodied as we do it.
Okay, so almost a week ago I finished Rad Onc (YAY!) so that makes most of the journey over. But allow me this small space to actually moan a bit: UGH!! So right about the last week the boob started to, well, GLOW for lack of a better term. And the second degree burns intensified a bit so now I have blistering, weeping and VERY tender skin. I had had some skin markers put on for the very last round, and my awesome rad onc tech asked, at the end of the last session, if I wanted him to take them off. Politely said OH HELL NO because bandaid & tissupaper skin = Bad Time.
( Oh my I think I have been bottling...Readers are warned!Collapse )
WELL that was a spit up! Good lord I feel I should offer a medal to anyone who read all that. The venting was delightful :)
There we are - ah, how nice to ramble for a bit
( Oh my I think I have been bottling...Readers are warned!Collapse )
WELL that was a spit up! Good lord I feel I should offer a medal to anyone who read all that. The venting was delightful :)
There we are - ah, how nice to ramble for a bit
Today was the last day of chemo! YAY! So pleased to have this little phase of the adventure over :)
All in all, chemo was not that bad. Steroids made me nuts (doc was awesome and fixed that issue) and the drug cocktail delivers *wicked* heartburn for about a week, but all in all considering some of the really frightening things one hears about bad reactions to chemo, not bad at all.
The two 'hard parts' of this are done. Lumpectomy took out the bad tumor (100% margins, nothing in my lymph nodes) and the surgery recovery was complicated because of the size of the wound, but managed. Chemo is four months of jumping up and tensing everyone someone coughs or sneezes. Am looking forward to having my immune system, my nose hair, and my head hair back, in that order.
Next is radiation - 10 minutes a day five days a week for five weeks. They run it almost like a drive thru: go to the office, special valet just for radiology, run in, get zapped, get on with your day! My lunch plans for March, basically.
Woot!!!
All in all, chemo was not that bad. Steroids made me nuts (doc was awesome and fixed that issue) and the drug cocktail delivers *wicked* heartburn for about a week, but all in all considering some of the really frightening things one hears about bad reactions to chemo, not bad at all.
The two 'hard parts' of this are done. Lumpectomy took out the bad tumor (100% margins, nothing in my lymph nodes) and the surgery recovery was complicated because of the size of the wound, but managed. Chemo is four months of jumping up and tensing everyone someone coughs or sneezes. Am looking forward to having my immune system, my nose hair, and my head hair back, in that order.
Next is radiation - 10 minutes a day five days a week for five weeks. They run it almost like a drive thru: go to the office, special valet just for radiology, run in, get zapped, get on with your day! My lunch plans for March, basically.
Woot!!!
Well -
There are good things and bad things about spending 5 weeks living back home with your parents.
On one hand I cannot articulate properly how happy I was to be recovering from surgery and processing all the next steps in a nice happy place with a big garden full of quail and all my meals catered to. It was wonderful just having people *around* when things were going sideways with my one wound.
On the other hand, living without the dog was terrible and sometimes you just need your own damn space!
But my house was being literally gutted and rebuilt under the guiding hand of my sister. It was not an option to be here (yes here for I AM HOME AT LAST) and it wasn't an option not to get the work done. The house was old and unfit for recovering in primarily due to issues I mismanaged. Never, ever, underestimate how depression can trick your brain into saying some things are Ok when they ARE NOT. The good news is my depression is now well managed, but needless to say I still needed major help healing the house.
So I now sit here with new floors (entire house), new windows, new paint all downstairs, new carpet up the back steps, a new bathroom and a new kitchen. Plus all of the old insulation is out. New furniture, new this, new that....new extra $50K on my mortgage (which was going to be paid off this year, oh the irony!) but all of it worth it because now I have a really beautiful warm clean safe place to get through chemotherapy in. And this wasn't an indulgence because I wanted debt - this is what had to happen and I am just lucky it happened well.
My sister has been astonishing in all of this: she has taken care of *everything* because my health is her primary issue. My biggest issues have been to choose new paint colors and slight anxiety over the granite chose for my new countertops. She found the team to get all this work done quickly because it had to be done before chemo started. That starts this week - the team is finishing up things today and will be 100% done by Tuesday.
I have been very frustrated with the wound issue: I need to be cleared for chemo so I can get back to work (only allowed back after first round of chemo is done) and cant get cleared for chemo until docs sign off on wound! The lump was pretty large: in taking it out and making sure it had 100% margins it basically created a larger hole in me than my body could deal with. The plastic surgeon had originally tried to 'preserve the look' of the breast, but that didn't fly and the wound just kept filling with blood and breaking. Ugh. Finally she took me back to the OR, took out more skin and closed up the hole - which will now leave a noticeable dent on the side of the boob. I pointed out I DO NOT CARE and do not want/need reconstructive surgery. After all these issues the idea of more surgery makes me want to puke, frankly. As it is I am wearing a special wound vac now to try and get this last stubborn bit closed off at last. Heal, damn it!!
I am chomping at the bit to get back to work. This was supposed to be my year of PROMOTION not huge absences for illness. Talk had started, damn it! I am particularly mad at this because I *know* I should be further up the damn food chain. Ugh, breathe.... Plus of course I like work, which helps!
There are good things and bad things about spending 5 weeks living back home with your parents.
On one hand I cannot articulate properly how happy I was to be recovering from surgery and processing all the next steps in a nice happy place with a big garden full of quail and all my meals catered to. It was wonderful just having people *around* when things were going sideways with my one wound.
On the other hand, living without the dog was terrible and sometimes you just need your own damn space!
But my house was being literally gutted and rebuilt under the guiding hand of my sister. It was not an option to be here (yes here for I AM HOME AT LAST) and it wasn't an option not to get the work done. The house was old and unfit for recovering in primarily due to issues I mismanaged. Never, ever, underestimate how depression can trick your brain into saying some things are Ok when they ARE NOT. The good news is my depression is now well managed, but needless to say I still needed major help healing the house.
So I now sit here with new floors (entire house), new windows, new paint all downstairs, new carpet up the back steps, a new bathroom and a new kitchen. Plus all of the old insulation is out. New furniture, new this, new that....new extra $50K on my mortgage (which was going to be paid off this year, oh the irony!) but all of it worth it because now I have a really beautiful warm clean safe place to get through chemotherapy in. And this wasn't an indulgence because I wanted debt - this is what had to happen and I am just lucky it happened well.
My sister has been astonishing in all of this: she has taken care of *everything* because my health is her primary issue. My biggest issues have been to choose new paint colors and slight anxiety over the granite chose for my new countertops. She found the team to get all this work done quickly because it had to be done before chemo started. That starts this week - the team is finishing up things today and will be 100% done by Tuesday.
I have been very frustrated with the wound issue: I need to be cleared for chemo so I can get back to work (only allowed back after first round of chemo is done) and cant get cleared for chemo until docs sign off on wound! The lump was pretty large: in taking it out and making sure it had 100% margins it basically created a larger hole in me than my body could deal with. The plastic surgeon had originally tried to 'preserve the look' of the breast, but that didn't fly and the wound just kept filling with blood and breaking. Ugh. Finally she took me back to the OR, took out more skin and closed up the hole - which will now leave a noticeable dent on the side of the boob. I pointed out I DO NOT CARE and do not want/need reconstructive surgery. After all these issues the idea of more surgery makes me want to puke, frankly. As it is I am wearing a special wound vac now to try and get this last stubborn bit closed off at last. Heal, damn it!!
I am chomping at the bit to get back to work. This was supposed to be my year of PROMOTION not huge absences for illness. Talk had started, damn it! I am particularly mad at this because I *know* I should be further up the damn food chain. Ugh, breathe.... Plus of course I like work, which helps!
So I get to be cancer free AND have Peter Capaldi as my Doctor?!? Best news in weeks.
This also reminds me I need to finish up the last season - got distracted, heh. Think I will load up the ipad and binge watch while recovering from surgery at my parents' house. I intend to stream Doctor Who, Top Gear and Mythbusters, with a dash of ADventure Time and a smattering of Avengers. Ahhh....
YAY CAPALDI!!
This also reminds me I need to finish up the last season - got distracted, heh. Think I will load up the ipad and binge watch while recovering from surgery at my parents' house. I intend to stream Doctor Who, Top Gear and Mythbusters, with a dash of ADventure Time and a smattering of Avengers. Ahhh....
YAY CAPALDI!!
I am forcing myself to read a minimum of one book a month, because I let work consume FAR TOO MUCH of my time last year. I mainly download audiobooks and ebooks, but I try to buy at least one hardback a month, at my local booksellers, because I want to support the store, and I love the feel of an actual book. Yes, I'm one of those. Plus, my local store allows dogs, so Sebi comes in with me and is given food and attention - everyone is happy.
I went to by my new book (Vampires in the Lemon Grove, by the wonderful Karen Russel). Sebi struck gold, as there seemed to be about 40 old ladies there setting up for something and everyone had to admire him. Then I paid for my book: $27.95!! And it is *not* that big a book! Gave me a bit of a moment, but it's worth it.
I did also just discover Boris Akunin's Erast Fandorin series of historical detective novels. Now these I am downloading one by one off of Audible to listen to. It is a series of detective novels, each one dealing with a different style of mystery trope. The Winter Queen is the first, and it got me hooked.
And on a completely unrelated note, I have just noticed that my LJ header is now some random cat theme I have never seen before.... Or maybe that is the site Header?
Yeah, not spending a lot of time over here lately, LOL. Curse you, people who dragged me to FB!
I went to by my new book (Vampires in the Lemon Grove, by the wonderful Karen Russel). Sebi struck gold, as there seemed to be about 40 old ladies there setting up for something and everyone had to admire him. Then I paid for my book: $27.95!! And it is *not* that big a book! Gave me a bit of a moment, but it's worth it.
I did also just discover Boris Akunin's Erast Fandorin series of historical detective novels. Now these I am downloading one by one off of Audible to listen to. It is a series of detective novels, each one dealing with a different style of mystery trope. The Winter Queen is the first, and it got me hooked.
And on a completely unrelated note, I have just noticed that my LJ header is now some random cat theme I have never seen before.... Or maybe that is the site Header?
Yeah, not spending a lot of time over here lately, LOL. Curse you, people who dragged me to FB!
I always forget about this account - but now that LJ seems to be having a nervous breakdown, signing in juuuuuust in case, LOL
Yes, yes - crossposting. No worries.
Yes, yes - crossposting. No worries.
Just got off the phone with my Sis. Nico is going to be going to a major Karate tournament this summer - originally they thought it was going to be in Mexico. Turns out the team was invited to a BIGGER event in ORLANDO! Now of course I am very proud of my Nephew, but .....
AT LAST! DISNEY WORLD AND HARRY POTTER!!!
I will face a week in Orlando in July for this one :)
We're looking into condos now. I am so excited: I have never been to Disney World!! And it's a given that I want to go to Universal ;)
WHEEEEEEEEEEE!
AT LAST! DISNEY WORLD AND HARRY POTTER!!!
I will face a week in Orlando in July for this one :)
We're looking into condos now. I am so excited: I have never been to Disney World!! And it's a given that I want to go to Universal ;)
WHEEEEEEEEEEE!
Oh Halloween - my sister texted me today because she was *awesome* and picked up a key piece I need for my Halloween costume while in one of those seasonal superstores. THEN she found the zombie garden gnomes and lo, as a thank you I said I will spot her two as a thank you.
About an hour later I get a video of the 2 year old merrily playing with the gnomes in her playhouse. Because hugging and singing zombie garden gnomes are where it is at!
Made my whole day!
And reminded me I haven't put up my fruit bats.... Damn you busy life!
About an hour later I get a video of the 2 year old merrily playing with the gnomes in her playhouse. Because hugging and singing zombie garden gnomes are where it is at!
Made my whole day!
And reminded me I haven't put up my fruit bats.... Damn you busy life!
So last night I clicked on a random Netflix recommendation: It had Maggie Smith THEREFORE it had to be good.
It was good, but it also was very distracting because it is a lovely kids movie based on the Green Knowe books. I was all pumped for Maggie, then found myself jumping up and yelling BRANSON YAY followed soon after by LORD GRANTHAM YAY. Well, more yay for Branson, but you get my gist. Then at the end, I see it is directed by Julian Fellowes. LOL. Well, he certainly has favorites.
It's called 'From Time to Time' and actually was a great little family movie. If you have read the Green Knowe books I will say it is LOOSELY based on them. Nothing like the original mini series I think was done in the 70s.
It was good, but it also was very distracting because it is a lovely kids movie based on the Green Knowe books. I was all pumped for Maggie, then found myself jumping up and yelling BRANSON YAY followed soon after by LORD GRANTHAM YAY. Well, more yay for Branson, but you get my gist. Then at the end, I see it is directed by Julian Fellowes. LOL. Well, he certainly has favorites.
It's called 'From Time to Time' and actually was a great little family movie. If you have read the Green Knowe books I will say it is LOOSELY based on them. Nothing like the original mini series I think was done in the 70s.
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