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mj
@maurajbg
ginger studies/critical redhead theory
Washington, DC
Born August 18
Joined January 2014
470
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1,661
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  • Pinned
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    mj
    @maurajbg
    Feb 25, 2015
    ME: Say "Anagrams are stupid" one more time & I will rearrange your face. YOU: Anagrams are stupid. ME: You farce.
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    mj
    @maurajbg
    Feb 2, 2025
    My boyfriend bought 10 pounds of confiscated knives from the TSA and they are now the party favors for his birthday party
    6.8M
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    mj
    @maurajbg
    Nov 29, 2024
    My friends are having a baby THIS WEEK, so my boyfriend and I made a little book about their cat going to look for them after they leave for the hospital to have their son
    Kids' book with the text "Next he checked the museum of art, where galas last all night/He didn't find his parents, but he was dressed just right" and an image of a tuxedo cat on the red carpet at the Met Gala next to men in tuxedos
    Kids' book illustration of a tuxedo cat and a baby
    268K
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    mj
    @maurajbg
    Feb 2, 2025
    Replying to @JEllulz and @kurizmatik
    eBay listing!
    240K
  • user avatar
    mj
    @maurajbg
    Jun 2, 2016
    This plant has a decent shot at winning the 2016 presidential election
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    mj
    @maurajbg
    Feb 2, 2025
    Replying to @the_geek_00
    Did yours say Muir Woods on the other side?
    199K
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    mj
    @maurajbg
    Nov 30, 2024
    Replying to @maurajbg
    I can't post the baby because he hasn't been born yet and also I don't post my friends' kids on public social media, but here is the cat! He thinks all the baby stuff is for him.
    Photo of a beautiful green-eyed black and white cat
    Photo of black and white cat in baby bassinet
    14K
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    mj
    @maurajbg
    Feb 17, 2020
    "Unreliable narrator" makes me think of a narrator who's always late The book starts out in 3rd person, and halfway in the narrator shows up, all "Sorry! Forgot the novel was today!"
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    mj
    @maurajbg
    Jun 3, 2015
    I'm naming all my children after Instagram filters. Hudson, Walden, Valencia, Kelvin, Brannan, Willow, and the twins, Toaster and 1977.
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    mj
    @maurajbg
    Nov 30, 2024
    Replying to @maurajbg
    Clowns to the left of me, babies to the right. Here I am, stuck in the middle with you.
    Children's book illustration of a cat going to look for his parents in a hospital ward
    18K
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    mj
    @maurajbg
    Jun 20, 2018
    I got a free IUD from my school’s health services in undergrad ($500+ value) and when my dad found out, I could actually see the part of him that was Catholic fighting the part of him that gets excited about really good discounts
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    mj
    @maurajbg
    Aug 2, 2024
    My aunt showed me a type of lily without leaves called the Naked Lady and I immediately googled "naked lady" expecting to get results about the plant
    11K
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    mj
    @maurajbg
    Oct 27, 2014
    I'm dressing up as a public radio station for Halloween so my parents will support me again.
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    mj
    @maurajbg
    Feb 2, 2025
    Replying to @Elon927282690 and @twink_letits
    About 45!
    150K