user avatar
Liz Miele
@lizmiele
my new special SPACE CAMP is out now here: punchup.live/lizmiele but I am no longer active on here follow on threads or Bluesky: @lizmiele
Brooklyn, NY
linktr.ee/lizmiele
Joined July 2009
1,098
Following
15.9K
Followers
  • Pinned
    user avatar
    Liz Miele
    @lizmiele
    Mar 19, 2024
    My new special MURDER SHEETS premieres on youtube in 2 wks! Watch live w me Apr 2nd 9pm ET! •• Til then SUBSCRIBE to my channel: youtube.com/lizmiele, watch my last 3 specials & come c me do my newest hour on tour + the album version is on presale: album.link/lizmiele
    00:00
    156K
  • user avatar
    Liz Miele
    @lizmiele
    Jun 11, 2018
    I’m 33 now. The age Jesus quit comedy and got into magic. I hope I reach the same number of followers.
  • user avatar
    Liz Miele
    @lizmiele
    Jul 1, 2020
    They say New Yorkers are mean and unfriendly but we wear masks, we social distance, we stayed home without complaining. Where’s your southern kindness now? Actions speak louder than words, no? I might call you a cunt but I would never endanger your grandma.
  • user avatar
    Liz Miele
    @lizmiele
    Feb 10, 2021
    My dad is 2 years older than my mom and he’s eligible for the vaccine but she isn’t. And my dad was like, “I’ll wait for you.” And she was like, “What are you crazy? This isn’t the Titanic. Go get the vaccine. You’re old!”
  • user avatar
    Liz Miele
    @lizmiele
    Apr 15, 2019
    Going off birth control has ruined my face. But I’m determined to fix it! * Joke from my 2nd album, “Mind Over Melee” Available on all the places you buy and listen to things.
    00:00
  • user avatar
    Liz Miele
    @lizmiele
    Mar 22, 2020
    Being quarantined w/ my boyfriend has fast forwarded our relationship 40 years. We are like two 70 year olds right now We don’t have work We have nowhere to go All are friends are dead What I’m trying to say is we had a fight about where the cashews were today #CoronaVirusUpdates
  • user avatar
    Liz Miele
    @lizmiele
    Jan 31, 2023
    Replying to @UberFacts
    School shootings
    50K
  • user avatar
    Liz Miele
    @lizmiele
    May 5, 2019
    Yeah but do they give to charity?
    user avatar
    UberFacts
    @UberFacts
    May 4, 2019
    Earthworms have five hearts.
  • user avatar
    Liz Miele
    @lizmiele
    Aug 22, 2017
    "If your morals are set and stuck in the 50s than maybe your technology should stay there too..."
    00:00
  • user avatar
    Liz Miele
    @lizmiele
    Aug 20, 2020
    Dude after show: Jewish? Me: No, just rock the look. D: Puerto Rican? Me: Nope, just like big earrings. D: Middle eastern? Me: Are you trying to figure out if you should hate me?
  • user avatar
    Liz Miele
    @lizmiele
    May 6, 2019
    I was in the middle of my joke about being scared to walk home alone in NYC at 2am when a heckler interrupted me to, I guess, agree?...Fun/weird interaction with heckler @ @deadcrowcomedy in Wilmington, NC Pic by @Em_Donaghy Video edited by Nate Notermann
    00:00
  • user avatar
    Liz Miele
    @lizmiele
    Mar 9, 2020
    Thanks London! (This happened the night b4 I headlined. My fans r better ppl) But thank you to all who came last night! It was so fun! And thanks to @MariaShehata for opening & @topsecretcomedy for having me. Berlin this weekend. Then Stockholm, Geneva & Zurich. Tour US in April.
    00:00
  • user avatar
    Liz Miele
    @lizmiele
    Dec 18, 2018
    Please give up your seat for pregnant women, old people, people with disabilities and cats who’ve had a long day napping in the sun
    user avatar
    Bodega Cats
    @Bodegacats_
    Dec 18, 2018
  • user avatar
    Liz Miele
    @lizmiele
    Aug 23, 2022
    **TRAILER** My new special “The Ghost Of Academic Future” premieres on YouTube Sept 6th @ 8pm ET! You can turn on notification reminder + pre buy the album on iTunes & Amazon. youtu.be/XWbqA94Qsi0
    00:00