Pinned
If u wanna be happy the rest of ur life
Never make a prairie falcon ur wife
They need a moderate altitude
To catch burrowing owls for food
Ben Mekler
73.5K posts
Ben Mekler
@benmekler
Writer (Ticket to Ride), Director (Demi Adejuyigbe is Going to Do One (1) Backflip), Producer (It Ends), Inventor (Lysol)
Born May 30
Joined July 2008
- My dad is in New Orleans for the first time and called me with a childlike sense of wonder I have never heard in his voice before. He said “this is a happy place”, “all of the food is good”, and “I saw a dog parade and there was a chihuahua in a wig, she was the princess”
- Gen Z will never understand growing up with parents who basically poured a gallon of milk into your body with a funnel every day because Big Milk told them that if we didn’t drink enough our bones would go soft and we’d turn into pudding people and get kidnapped at the mall
- I want her to change her name to Megan Gun Kelly so bad
- Called my mom to check on her and we wound up arguing over whether Shrek is Jewish
- Are ye sure
2003 was such a a cursed year for film, just no true masterpieces - I took Gizmo to get groomed and when I went to pick him up I casually asked “how’d he do” and the woman behind the counter said “bad”
- Imagine having so much money you could make life demonstrably better for every living person on earth and deciding to spend it on being a huge fucking loser instead
- Stop mid-sentence to cough really weird while hammering my chestIf your girl consistently makes you meals like this…men what are you going to consistently do?
- Your husband just sliced the tip of his thumb off making dinner and it won’t stop bleeding. You’re rushing to the emergency room and this happens. WydJames Corden, Camila Cabello, Billy Porter and Idina Menzel stopped traffic in LA for a flash mob with a cover of Jennifer Lopez’s “Let’s Get Loud” to promote #CinderellaMovie
- for me I guess my grandma dyingGwyneth Paltrow broke down and ate bread during quarantine. What was your lowest point? theguardian.com/lifeandstyle/2…
- Vin Diesel taught Judi Dench how to play Dungeons & Dragons on the set of THE CHRONICLES OF RIDDICK and she went on to become DM for her grandchildrenPlease share a fact you are excited to know.
