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blessed that the past six months have felt less like 'becoming a better version of myself' and more like becoming ๐ฎ๐บ๐ด๐ฆ๐ญ๐ง
bao
5,042 posts
bao
@baoteching
if you're looking for my cousin Tao they're not here || poems @mortalspoils
in the steamer
Joined August 2020
- almost a year ago my bf convinced me to date him seriously by saying "you don't have to do inner work by yourself, you can do it *within* a relationship" and he's soooo right. it's so much better actually
- for decades i've been trying to make myself do more things more intensely all the time when really the trick just BE. SILLY.
- when I say I want a rich life, I meant a life with ๐ต๐ฆ๐น๐ต๐ถ๐ณ๐ฆ. one you can sense when you glide over it with your fingers. the ridges and bumps of excitement and disappointments. the smooth line of boring but necessary effort. fractally revealing itself with loving attention.
- i want to make cool projects so i can meet cool people making cool projects
- Replying to @baotechingbeing together constantly pushed me to own up to my shit i wouldn't have realized before, because it wouldn't have been triggered! also it's just nice to not be 'done' before a relationship. to actually get shaped _together_ instead. 10/10 would recommend
- i love how neutral my bf is of my ~shameful secrets~. i can divulge anything and it won't change his opinion of me. man's got a superpower
- every living person whose life and career i admire has one connecting thread: it seems bespoke to them, a set of costume tailored to enhance the form that they were sculpted as. their life can not be anyone else's but theirs
- i didn't do this consciously, but it's amazing to realize: i got better by ignoring advice, opinions, and commands from people who are miserable and listening to those who are happy and thriving!
- Oh my god. This entire time, this entire *decade* I've never felt "fear of failure" and "perfectionism" describe my feelings when I get stuck. But I can never articulate it better. I found it: to me it feels as if *trying* itself means I've failed miserably
- i enjoy being feared. i enjoy being intimidating. i'm annoyed i've spent decades feeling bad when i intimidate someone with my capabilities and power. never again. THERE I SAID IT.
- my 50 year plan is essentially: - make art and cool shit - use it to get money and meet cool people, invest in the community - make bigger art and cooler shit (more equipment, weirder experiments, longer timelines, more physicality)i want to make cool projects so i can meet cool people making cool projects
- the rebel in me who distrusts authority on sight hates to admit it but I deeeeeeeeply truuuuuuly enjoy being told what to do, as long as I'm not forced to do it
- Replying to @soundrotatorone of my prev new years resolution was "compliment people more" and that spirals into being more attentive and open to others and more focused on the details of the texture of their being. I think people really appreciate being seen truthfully that way