The version in the left is when he was already starting to change his look. For example he'd already started growing out his hair and no longer had this haricut:
How do you weed out abusers by waiting for sex? All it does it weed out the guys who were only interested in sex. If an abuser wait for sex before becoming abusive, they'll just wait longer. And become abusive still. Some don't even become abusive until after marraige.
This scene is so funny because why did they just take his word for it. Like, we came here very determined to kill you but because you said we can't burn you because you have the blood of someone we've never heard of, we're gonna leave you alone.
This is why Assad being called antiblack for pointing out their pasts in relation to the coffin scene made no sense. Louis saying if the painter dies within the year, he can quintiple the price is ALSO a direct callback to "I profit off the misery of other men and I do it easy"
And if he doesn't wait for sex to start, OP would have been abused anyway, without having had sex with him. So not sure your methodology prevents abuse in any way.