My wife @ANNELAMOTT says I’ve been selected for the first trial of Dear Leader’s light and Clorox injection treatment.
Neal Allen
2,849 posts
Neal Allen
@NealFAllen
Given a choice, Icelandic Sheepdogs. Stalks @annelamott 24/7. New book out - GOOD WRITING: 36 Ways to Improve Your Sentences
- Here I am moments after being wedded to the kindest, most beautiful, most accepting woman, the very same woman whose profundity and hilarity I get to share with you. (Signed) Mr. @ANNELAMOTTSo I got married yesterday, to a brilliant sweet soulful man named Neal, aka @NealFAllen. It was perfectly beautiful. Thank you all for your endless love and appreciation. (Signed) Mrs. Anne Lamott
- @NealFAllen is by no means smarter than @ANNELAMOTT. I should know. He is tall, but the attached tweet is otherwise unreliable. @ANNELAMOTT is the kindest, most brilliant, funniest, most beautiful human alive. I know this objectively and I am willing to get it notarized.I’m getting married tmrw in a redwood grove, at the age of 65, to a tall handsome writer @NealFAllen—good sense of humor, is smarter than I am, can fix anything, and cook. So never ever give up, no matter how things look or how long they take. Don’t quit before the miracle. Deal?
- A friend of Annie’s reports that in both UK and USA ours is the biggest wedding since Harry and Meghan, whoever they were. This might be why bridezilla @ANNELAMOTT is demanding a horse-drawn carriage & ermine stole & 2-lb bag of M&Ms. It’s the @Costco cherry pies all over again.
- My precious wife @ANNELAMOTT’s new way of telling me to bug off: “Shouldn’t you be studying Sanskrit?”
- Roughing it at Yosemite with @ANNELAMOTT, 2nd anniversary with a beautiful woman of expanding kindness.
- You know how at kids’ weddings all the old people stay on the periphery and watch sardonically or sweetly? When you get married old, like @ANNELAMOTT and I recently did, the young people stay on the periphery, sardonically and sweetly watching the old people have fun.
- How many men can boast to their brides they passed a kidney stone the morning of their wedding, @ANNELAMOTT? #themanyouaremarrying #painless #goodtiming
- Sheer bliss. At 150 days, our marriage is ALREADY longer than Nicolas Cage and Lisa-Marie Presley’s OR Kid Rock and Pam Anderson’s! #OneForTheRecordBooks #OldFolksAtHome #HaHaCherAndGreggAllman
- Smart move, Kev. You don’t want that rap of being “the adult in the room” that doomed your predecessors.If a respected three-star general and then-advisor to the President can become the victim of a manipulated federal investigation, what hope does the average American have? What happened to @GenFlynn is a national disgrace.
- @ANNELAMOTT vowed to wait until after we were married before retiring to permanent bed rest and morning cherry pie. She couldn’t help herself. #brokenvows #already
- Let’s hear it for Joe Biden’s decency.
