Wife accused me of stealing her élite moisturizer because I’ve been looking “way too dewy.” And guess what? She’s right. Stuff is a game changer that they’ve been hiding from us, boys.
Joe Bernstein
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Joe Bernstein
@Bernstein
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- Me to my 4 year old after my 2 year old kicks him in the faceDO NOT RETALIATE AND YOU WILL BE REWARDED
- I love this theory that Stanely Kubrick was murdered by the Illuminati for making a movie about their disturbing sex parties, but then they released the movie with the disturbing sex parties anywaysStanley Kubrick died of a heart attack in his sleep six days after showing the final cut of Eyes Wide Shut to Warner Bros. He reportedly considered it his "greatest contribution to the art of cinema". Many have speculated that he was murdered for it and that this scene is why.
00:00 - I think one of the main advantages of going to Harvard/Yale/etc. is meeting really rich people who will take you to their family’s vacation homes over the summer.
- Sometimes you come across a group of Millennials who are still living fully in the Master of None/Warby Parker era. With their natural wines. These people must be treated gently, like the Japanese soldiers who didn't know World War 2 was over.
- My sons at the Prospect Park splash pad when I tell them it's time to go home
- “Yukio Mishima? The avid collector of European furniture?”
Yukio Mishima in his house. He was an avid collector of antique European furniture, funded by the phenomenal success of his early novels. - I’m sorry, it’s just really funny that this website has given a free pass to almost all reality television, the most manipulative format in the history of human entertainment, and is coming down hard on *Nathan Fielder*
- The median restaurant in Western Europe is called “King Taco Burger Kebab” and mostly serves machine espresso to 58 year old drunks.Americans *genuinely* believe they have better food than France. They really believe it. It’s truly extraordinary.
- A common defense of Musk from his admirers/friends (and I heard it a lot reporting on him) is that he really does spend all his time thinking about how to save humanity and that he considers everything else a distraction. The Twitter debacle would seem to, uh, contradict that
- I like how much AI researchers are like early 20th century nuclear physicists. “This thing we’re doing is really dangerous… and maybe unethical… but let’s keep doing it… unless… oooh it’s so scary… but also cool… are we the new Gods? We’re full of regret and spirituality…”
- Counting Crows, Blues Traveler, Hootie and the Blowfish, bands of that nature. I don’t think the vibe they were expressing exists anywhere in the world anymore. Not sure how I’d explain it to my kids if I had to.
- Worst case scenario on the train: A crazy guy started shouting gibberish, my 4 and 2 year olds thought it was hilarious, and started loudly imitating him
