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one more-a few days ago my fun got interrupted when I noticed that beticious stopped running the horse races-I just an msg back from them and they said they were working on it-I choose to spend so much time over there mainly because I basically grew up speaking spanish-so I don't really have to use google translator-I posted to them in both languages uncertain if they would respond to english but they did! I feel so much better now-I had noticed that the odds were off but I thought perhaps that was their way of paying lower-but no it was a bug-LOL and I just bit my tongue when one of the 20-1 horses paid only 2-1 odds-hahha I had no idea it was a mistake |
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one more thing (update) back to that website I was having so much fun on being a featured member of-the admin refused to control the spam and from experience that is what will bring a website down faster than anything-there are ways to alleviate it-
so I cursed the dude out in philliapeanese and insulted him with things that are considered vulgar in their culture-
it really pissed me off |
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some really sweet guy in the kinky circles I run around in asked me out -actually I run around all over the damned place (I declined) but the point is that the mere fact that some dude did ask (at my advanced age) makes me feel good (and it gives me the giggles too) |
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***book review***
(book titles)ecstasy 10 stories of exquisite pain and fetish an anthology
both a waste of time and money-however from these purchase mishaps I have discovered that porn needs to be quirky,personal,and in your face ballsy-just cock doesn't cut the proverbial vagina reading the pages-I'm a girl I can get dick anywhere-dammit if I am willing to buy it then I expect a whole hell of a lot more for my money-the only pain I felt was the utter disappointment I experienced and the only fetish that could qualify for here as arousal was in the emptiness of my pocketbook afterwards which brought zero joy |
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It's been said that where there is smoke there is fire, I have always felt like running from the heat reduces passion, so with that being said here are a few accusations over the years that have been thrown my way.
BITCH-o yes in the context of me having selfish moments I do and then I try to make up for regrettful memories that cannot be fixed. It has made me a better person.
PIG-yep, I have a natural high metabolism that I inherited from a parent that was born long lean and skinny. I have bitten my own fingers in a frenzy to consume calories. Unfortunately, I carry on the tradition of often eating two meals at a time from the genes that were passed onto me. Never having weighed more than 115 pounds (except when pregnant) I just live with it. I feel blessed having not experienced what restrictive diets must feel like.
PLAYFUL-I am indeed and I try to over compensate for this by indulging in workaholic tendencies. They say that idle hands are the devil's playground. I believe it. A busy mind/body is the best excorcism for those demons.
PRETTY/UGLY-I have been referred to as both. Beauty is in the eye of the beholder. I can say honestly though beyond the blue eyes and blonde hair I do have a huge for head-I measured it. I have turned this to my advantage and I can face palm like nobody else.
CRAZY-Yes, I think outside of the box. Sanity is defined by two primary things-(my checklist) One-if you need medication to function then you probably qualify for that label and I do not. Two-as defined by the general population sanity is what considered normal and what is acceptable changes. I am ahead of my time. Only rational people get bored, I have committed that to memory.
DRUNK-no I don't do alcohol because I think it smells like piss-however the phrase "liquid courage" does apple to me-without the liquid-I do have big balls and I am not afraid to rock the boat. I am honored that people recognize this. I have a high standard of morals and values and I completely accept the fact that those things make an easy life hard. Obstacles are adventures waiting to happen and there is no greater excitement than that.
SLUT-you must be wanting some otherwise you would not have pointed it out. I am consoled by the fact that extremely attractive women have expressed their desire for me in this manner.
Life does NOT get better as you age but your perception of it can. I make no apologies for these things. Once you accept the dark only then can you experience the light.
One more thing-I have been told that I laugh like a horse-puhlease douchebags! I laugh like this!
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Stop hunting they tell me. Long after I have blinked from staring back at them I continue to stare into the depths of my own soul attempting to process the request. My first reaction is denial. I need my prey to be able to satiate my hunger.
Why are they asking me to starve?
They insist that there will be enough nutrients available for me inside of my enclosure. Their loving condemnation will restrict my diet to a barely sustainable meager existence. My craving will grow and I will become more and more irritable as each day passes.
I have been thoroughly admonished for my ravenous appetite. I am full of shame instead of being full of the proper meal that I require in order to thrive. If I dare to break their trust I will be full of guilt that will dehydrate me from inside of my own bone marrow.
I can feel the void inside of my bowels starting to create anxiety. Apprehension that will all too soon consume my every thought. The ache will gnaw away at me until I find myself bumping up against the barrier, pushing and groaning to escape the confinement.
The weight of my gluttony will eventually crush me and I will escape. The images of consuming the delicacies that give me strength flood the inner recesses of my vision. I will run free and race wild. I will track my prey will the skill of acute intent to capture.
I am hungry.
Yes, some of my quarry will elude me regardless of my years of tracking experience. But that is OK. I know those are the ones that have very little meat on them so they can out dodge me. I let them go with barely a snide snarl. My fangs are mounted to indulge in tart fat little mounds of flesh.
Oozing and kicking as the life force squeezes out of them and into my waiting jaws. The tiny squeaks that they emit as they struggle to contain the sheer agony of being devoured are what satiate my foraging frenzy.
Reluctantly, I allow the images of a successfully passionate pillage to evaporate with the saliva that has dribbled down into the plate of sterile sustenance that I have been offered.
Maybe I can make it through one more day.
I can hear the snap of the collar as they lead me from my bowl to the next room. I curl my legs up next to my shivering body and dutifully lay my head in the lap of my owner nuzzling him gruffly for a few pats across my hide.
Soon, I will hunt for the next submissive male that reveals in my sadistic passion, pissing themselves in anticipation to kneel meekly in the face of my presence. Tonight, however, I remain breeched in the cloak of a housewife. |
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She is pacified now, laying down with a content and peaceful demeanor. It's not always that way. As a matter of fact, a few weeks ago, we were thrashing around on the floor in an attempt to dissuade her from another revolt. She likes to go outside. She likes it a lot.
I used to keep her in the attic with plenty of space to maneuver around. However, the outsiders would catch glimpses of her peeking out through the bars of the only window and then start in with THEIR antics. Some would jeer, some would run away in horrific mortification, and yet others would taunt her to venture an escape.
She's fiery she is, lots of spunk. That's why it is so damned hard to control her. It became necessary to relocate her to the basement. I couldn't put up with the howling, the pleading, the whining. There was just too much temptation for her upstairs. I know, trust me I know how cruel it sounds to keep her locked up and often it is I that feels like the monster.
I can't honestly say that I blame her for the rage imploding tantrums she throws when all she really wants is a stroll outdoors. Let me ask you, though, which is worse? The merciless teasing that she endures when the others see her because she does not fit their molded idea of what is normal or the safety that is offered inside of a well protected environment?
I love her and I do not want for her to suffer, yet my love suffocates. Often I do not know if I am trying to protect her or them or perhaps a little bit of both? At least, downstairs when her urges rise to the surface the walls are insulated so that those outside can not hear her screams for mercy.
The padded lining is not enough to keep us from recoiling away from one another. I do the best I can to surpress my resentment. If I am lucky, then the arguments do not end in profanity and instead only fizzle down to self loathing. I have attempted many times to help her adjust to society's rebukement and always to no avail.
She's crafty she is, lots of ingenuity. Time passes and I ease the restrictions I have placed upon her. Eventually, she finds a way to get past me and slip outside. I vow to myself that the next time will be different. I will be more vigilante. The next time always the next time.
She is Me and I am Her-My Muse |
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****book review****
I once joined a website after spotting a blog written about macaroni-it was the way she wrote about shells and cheese that intrigued me- believe it or not it was seductive
(book)best bondage erotica-the only thing I got out of this one was a cigarette burn trying to flip through the pages in a futile attempt to find a story that was appealing and non existent. The point is that the entire book holds no surprises-no plot twists. I have read better bdsm blogs before. |
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one more blog while I am feeling ballsy enough to write it-
I don't have a kindle and honestly I never really planned on buying one-when I first noticed them and saw how much cheaper the books were upon purchasing them digitally I did give it a thought-and for lack of a better way of saying this-I asked myself exactly how was I supposed to take one into a hot flowing over the brim bubble bath and not drop it in the water accidentally? It has happened on occasion at least once and the thought of electrocution is unsettling-and the benefits of being naked in water when reading a steamy novel has it's advantages-
alas I have found a book that is available ONLY on kindle-it has well over 90 reviews and almost everyone of them are raving about one story in particular-
(here is where that previous thought about price in the last blog ties in) I followed a few recommendations today and did the "peek inside" feature that is offered and found a book that I would not spend a penny on that was over priced-then I found one that was already on my list (very expensive) and one of the reviewers said that she had been "traumatized" by reading one of the stories
that's what that kindle book is-the whole thing is a trauma inducing anthology-with that one story being the most traumatic-in today's age and with my own chronological age taken as a factor-there is very little that I have not already seen or heard as far as plot twists go-however this ONE story is a genuine one of a kind
I am going to have to buy a fucking kindle-that damn book will wind up costing me over $200-oh shit crackers-I thought about trying to get one on ebay but then I read something about the kindles have to be registered-so I am considering selling my books back to POWELLS and using the funds to get a kindle-I love their used book buy back program |
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****book review****
to make a long story short-I hate to spend money on myself-so after amazon raised the prices on some of the items I was purchasing EXORBITANTLY-it became cheaper to shop elsewhere-so I had nothing to spend my amazon gift cards on-and decided to load up on books instead of spending hours looking for material online-
(book title) "best fetish erotica"-I made a list of books that I wanted to buy and I am starting with the cheapest ones and working my way up-just because a book is expensive doesn't mean it is any good-
I liked the first story called "girdle boy" as with most anthologies they put the best story first-I can't say I cared much for the fetsih plot but the ending sounded a lot like something I would think of and I liked that because most stories won't go down that type of dark alley
the other story I liked was called "machine girl" a fetish plot involving extreme objectification. As with most porn the sex scenes are obvious that the writer is struggling to over score with flowery prose in order to describe basic fucking-however this was a little different due to the fact the author went above and beyond in her description of what the men looked like-kudos |
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today is the birthday of one of my favorite submissive males on facebook-and he is asking for more likes for his page-so I am sharing his link here
In Celebration of Female Supremacy 2
happy birthday chris! |
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blog rollllllll today-played two from ellis over at cap2win and hit the longshot-my roi suffered-badly last month (as a matter of fact I picked every second third and fourth horse there was and almost no winners in the money yes but not in MY money)-and I need to get it back up-next time I am going to throw out the ones on the pick 6 that have no workouts and I am going to try one more time to single a leg in order to get the price down to a playable component-the one that looks like it has held it's current form the longest-the ticket will still climb upwards of a a grande but a lot more affordable than what I had previously calculated
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results
delmar pick 6 friday 9
2-5-8 (win)#2
8-3-9 (win longshot)#3 (win on exacta)
4 (loss)
13-4 (second place on #4)
1-3-9 (third on #3)
6-11 (third on #11) and that is how the entire month went less than 1/3 winners-hopefully better next month |
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update (nosy people-LOL)
I hit the longshot (the only one in the pick 6) but I can't get the ticket down low enough to play with all 6 winners-it's going to have to be a high bet-the issue is that there are some pick 6 jackpots that the amateur and pro cappers under/over bet -the field looks a lot like middle class runners but it is NOT-that is why the money goes so high-2 people won yesterday and split 100,000 dollars=half the battle is in knowing when that situation is going to occur-the other half is loading up with the right horses-the best I can do is around 5 grande on a ticket which is out of my league right now-3/4 per leg-I discovered this play at belmont last month and at the last minute so it needs to be re cross referenced when the track comes up again-and then crossed over to aquaduct and santa anita=would consider this at gulf stream only if there were no more than two maidens on the card (because of the rainbow only one winner style they have) the problem with the lower pots is that a good sized ticket is at least 500$ and after taxes even with a consolation prize of hitting 5 right then there is no room for profit-taxes take half |
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let's see how close I get today
delmar pick 6 friday 9
2-5-8
8-3-9
4
13-4
1-3-9
6-11
cost 2 wager $200
and last friday it was worth half a million dollars |
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the dumbass that followed me over to WP can knock it the fuck off with the emails-like NOW |
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space saver no time to type this out right now so I will come back
http://www.amazon.com/Stirring-Up-Storm-Sensual-Sexual/dp/156025727X/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1375969317&sr=1-1&keywords=stirring+up+a+storm
procrastinated long enough............................
(book review) there were 3 notable stories, make that 3 1/2
"market intimacies" is the type of porn that I find book worthy-I shy away from adult rated material simply because I lean towards "odd sex"-and the two characters involved were far enough apart in description to draw me into the plot.
My favorite story was "moving on"-it was the type of drama that will stay with me for a long time-I realized after reading it that porn either IS the story or it is a part of the story and can never really be both at the same time. I wish I could write shit like that-it was that amazing. It is what keeps me awake at night.
"til death" was a twist of what is seen in real life far too often in bdsm circles and that is part of what has kept me procrastinating from even buying books. I really do not want reality intruding in my fantasies. Call it a love hate thing-stories like that SHOULD BE fantasy only. Hate the fact that they are not.
I have decided to go with the anthologies as it is my preferred reading style. I find it far too difficult to make the commitment to just one plot-it is very rare when I do and I almost always wind up buying every single thing the author writes when I find someone with a style that I enjoy.
The half story..........can't remember the name of of it and again it was an issue of fantasy hitting way too close to reality but I enjoyed the fact that a rarely seen point of view was described (there was some type of clucb scene involved) |
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cat news---------------
our beloved crackheaded cat has finally given up his throne on top of the order that was recently shipped (I think it's been about two weeks) I need to get him a cat tower but after seeing the way he has acted I am not so sure now............
I like to mail order instead of doing the bump and grind in the real stores and the our cat just went nuts, normally I unpack everything the minute stuff arrives but I waited until the next morning and found our cat unwillingly to move on top of his perch
For the past two weeks he has literally JUMPED from the boxes to his food bowl and back again (note I did not say got down and walked I said JUMPED) like he grew wings LOL
I have not had the heart to take away his box tower
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and I was right-the jackpot at delmar was over half a million dollars tonight-and no one hit it LOL oooooooooooo LOL o fucking L...............my point being that some are high and some are low and it takes technique to no which ones will be high
anyways still working on getting future tickets low enough to be playable |
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and wait one more thing while I am at it.....fuck you.....no wait make that a FUCK YOU ASSHOLE, and here is why,
when you (yes the idiot that sent me the email mana) requests for a "web" writer to get back online....I reiterate FUCK YOU
Not everyone who writes likeable shit is natural at it, some of us happen to be laden down with
1 time constraints (daily life)
2 time restrictons (getting into the process of creating art takes time and not to mention coming up with material-often half of which gets trashed before the save button ever gets pushed)
3 stage fright=just because a writer puts their ass out on the line does NOT mean it was an easy thing for them to do in the fist place
appreciate it while you see them-otherwise go on about with your bad self and your miscontrued assumptions and go pester someone else
and btw I will more than likely be joining some lezbo sites-I sure as hell do not want to hang around your likes |
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have you ever just felt like no one ever listens to a damn word you say?
anyways............to answer the "email" I got this morning............
I am busy LOL
if it is that BIG of a fucking deal (no anger intended just my MO in speech lately)
I have committed myself to buying my porn instead of googling it, I promised myself to do like one book a month from amazon and I have upped the time I spend on equibase so much so that they now think I am a spider..........woot unblocked after only 24 hours!
and I pinkie promise to try and leave the pro cappers alone no matter how hot they look,damn I have got to work on that
now the fine print...the pick 6 over at del mar today will be mega hot and equibase just put up a tip sheet that I am using over at HandicappingPays.com.....I am not entirely convinced that the site is legit so it is important to try and win at least once to see for myself |
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I received an email today from a facebook "friend" who was passing out "gifts" the present was a coupon code....................................
now there is nothing wrong with that BUT
there happens to be a disproportionate amount of kinksters who are livin la vida loca and have no idea of how the rest of the world eeks out a paycheck just barely managing to scrape by from pay day to pay day................
so here is alink to website that really does have the cheapest prices online-they have a HUGE sell bin-http://www.dear-lady.com/ you can literally get 5 or 6 items for $25
FOR THOSE OF US WHO REALLY DO LIVE ON A BUDGET-I NEARLY SHIT MY DRAWERS WHEN I SAW THAT THE "FRIEND"
WAS RECOMMENDING A DEVICE WELL OVER THE 200 MARK
OMFG
on a saner note- I just found out that the local burger joint has peanut butter and bacon milkshakes on half price night! I am so excited!
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after all of the companies that urged facebook to delete pages aimed against those who live the bdsm lifetsyle-basically snubbing their noses at us-one company rises to the top and shows people the way it is supposed to be done
HIBDON tires waives all payments for people living in oklahoma due to the tornadoes-thankyou-this is the way companies are supposed to care for their customers!
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and here is another company that has made a commercial that has gone viral-quality versus crap wins every time (warning it will make you cry)
" rel="nofollow nofollow" target="_blank"> |
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This past summer I engaged in orgies, played the pick 6 and won a few grand, made the front page as a feature member of an adult website, and participated in a revolutionary protest against internet censorship. I enjoyed myself and at the same time none of those activities are politically correct.
I remember the first time I understood the concept of political correctness and realized that it would never apply to me. It was the end of summer of my first teenage year and one of our first writing assignments in school was to create a paper about the activities we spent our seasonal vacation indulging in. I knew what was expected. We were supposed to write about summer camps and sleep over slumber parties and family get togethers that included swimming, camping, and amusement parks. That was a problem for me since I had done none of those things and had instead spent my summer reading. I wrote the paper anyways and I fabricated the most amazing story of a trip to a vacation resort.
I have since wondered silently to myself if the political correctness of the american dream actually brings people the happiness that they are raised to believe it will produce. I look around and I see people blogging about being bored and complain about how they have nothing to write about. These same people are married, have kids, take vacations, and sleep soundly behind their white picket fences.
I kind of feel sorry for them
" rel="nofollow nofollow" target="_blank"> |
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I had a blog posted here and then I erased it so I could post it on the other newer smaller site I am a feature member of-I found out today that the admin is a female so that was a surprise-although I have been uploading daily over there it still slips my mind-oh well the party doesn't start until I walk through the door
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Yee fuckin' haw ! |
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http://thedoggstar.com/end-times/robot-agenda-mark-beast/
http://rense.com/general85/endofmoney.htm
more and more companies are starting to pay people with credit cards instead of regular bank checks. What if they do start chipping people...........................................
AND WHAT IF THEY TURN THE CHIP OFF? NO ACCESS TO ANYTHING
I want to see a movie about that, about someone who was born chipped and then revolted, like and they went to a camp of other revolters who teach freedom principles,
I just watched the movie called "purge" and it was actually one of the few movies whose plot I could get into-sadly there are only like one or two movies a year that I like
perhaps I should write stephen king a fan letter and see if I can talk him into writing a novel about it
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well I guess I am happy again-(for however long it lasts) since I am a feature member on another kink network I have decided to go ahead and start leading male subs over there-hell why not? They can see me on the front page so they understand admin trusts me
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due to this last encounter with my gut instinct being correct.............let me elaborate-I am like damn good at this. The first time I spoke with admin over at bdsmfriendbook it was what they did NOT say that set my red flags up, this time they came right out and started slandering members by calling them drunks.
I am now considering loaning my services out to whomever may feel the need to use them.
I feel like I might be able to turn this into a business-but I would do it for free instead.
This scene goes through my head every time I am right-and I am right every single time
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**very important update**
I decided to give bdsmfriendbook a second chance against my gut instinct-omfg I was wrong!
I posted a blog challenging the right to delete one's own profile and the admin accused me of being a drunk-I took a screenshot that way I can preserve it for further legal action for defamation of character and slander...........
I made the blog "me only" comments so I have proof that the person who left the snide remark was an admin
BDSMFRIENDBOOK IS NOT SAFE- if you have an account over there you can go read the latest blog entitled **warning** and see the slanderous comment left by admin |
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There are basically three different types of story plots. The real, the half real, and the- gawd -I -hope- that -never- becomes real. To better illustrate ~the real (texas chainsaw massacre) the half real (carrie remade 3 times into a movie) the not real (any zombie or vampire)
Invariably, I believe it is easiest to write the half real. Because on some level with the other two categories the climax becomes superficial. Take the real stuff. People already know since the score is credited to an already passed event what is going to happen therefore the entire movie success is hedged on the perfect suspensful screen shot angle. Or in the case of a biographal book the readers are looking for previously unpublished facts. The not real stuff has an even more difficult barrier to cross because we all know vampires suck blood and zombies eat people therefore the emphasis on the action has to be turned away from the fantasy and onto the human complex.
That leaves the half real as the most accessible way to stretch the imagination without blowing the summary so far out of proportion that the artist does not fight an uphill battle with the audience in a tug of war for lost attention.
The half real is under attack right now in the usa. Kids who post dark humor jokes and even darker morbid rap videos are actually being arrested. I could set here until I am blue in the face and argue about why that is wrong and over the past few weeks I have.
But today I am not going to...................today I am going to talk about what I think is right about it. A lot of what I write comes from the half real perspective and I want to elaborate on how I do that what I do.
1. Number One-I don't give a crap what you think. Yep, I know every single little how to blog that has been copied and plagiarized a million and one times over will TELL you that is wrong, Today is not about what is wrong. Today is about what is right. Fuck you. As luck may have, it there may be a time or two when I say what everyone else is thinking but do not count on it.
2. Number Two-I march to the beat of a different drummer. Which means I feel ,think, and speak from my gut instinct. I am not going to lie, I used to buy into the media diaherria fed crap they dished out until one day I watched something on tv that I will never forget. My intuition told me that what was being broadcast was not the truth. A few weeks later the headlines confirmed that. But for that short period of time I HATED myself. I thought there was something wrong with me. My stomach actually twisted into a pretzel.
3. Number Three. I am not afraid. Although I have my moments of panic and paranoia, I feel no fear. I know that the only thing I will ever be guilty of is expressing MY passion. That's right. MY pain, MY love, MY life. A thousand condemnations cannot sway me from this perch that I call the home of my character. They asked him "where is the kingdom of heaven" He responded "inside of your heart." I stand firm on this.
4. Number Four. I am willing to adapt and compromise but I refuse to run from my sentiments. I will do whatever it takes to survive. If that means running and hiding so that the freedom of my humanity can live to see another day,sing another song, or pop another couchie, then I will. If that means my spirit has to grasp the reins of submission and I must surrender a flag of submission so that I am unfettered to explore then I will swallow my pride.
5. Number Five~I can tolerate other people's intolerance. I can selflessly love those who are selfish. I can patiently wait for karma to catch up to those who spread hatred. I can do all those things and more. I guess mainly because I believe that faith can move mountains even if it has to be one small stone at a time. Every experience we have in this life is a learning one and in order to make lemonade out of lemons we must first handle a substance that is the color of piss
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I found this link in the googling search for another concept I want to write about
http://boostblogtraffic.com/stephen-king/
the entire book review is worth reading but here is one quote from the author who quotes the author he is reviewing
“Not a week goes by that I don’t receive at least one pissed-off letter (most weeks there are more) accusing me of being foulmouthed, bigoted, homophobic, murderous, frivolous, or downright psychopathic.”
those are stephen king's words
this is what the blog reviewer has to say about that
If you’re not getting any hate mail, it’s not because you’re the world’s most lovable writer. It’s because you lack the conviction to say anything of substance.
The penalty isn’t death. It’s worse:
Invisibility.
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(my words) that's powerful and it's food for thought every time hate mail arrives-the substance that is referred to I happen to call passion-o hell let's go a step further-being spiritual myself I do believe that God called forth the heavens into existence with WORDS-in a smaller scale the writer themselves is doing exactly that when they compose literature(any type of literature) and satan called forth eternal damnation with the power of his lie towards Eve-that is fascinating
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(my words) even stephen king is accused of being "murderous" (on a weekly basis) this is part of my point in regards to free speech-it MUST be preserved and NOT just for famous authors-http://reason.com/blog/2013/06/07/teen-arrested-for-posting-rap-lyrics-on because if shit like what is described in the last link is allowed to continue then THERE WILL BE NO MORE STEPHEN KINGS- although what I am about to post is fictional it does have a very real chance of becoming reality in the very near future
I have lost track of how much time I have spent chained to the wall-they do not bring food three times a day. They throw water at me instead of letting me drink it.
Today they demand to know where I have buried the bodies. The fact that I have only written a horror story eludes them, they no longer draw the line between fantasy and reality.
Truth be told I do not even write much about gore. Every now and then, a bit of fatality and a tad of annihilation plait their way into my short novellas. That is the great thing about fiction (or at least it WAS) one can right an ending befitting of the karma that just seems to go hand in hand with wild assed fables.
I really did not know what to expect beyond interrogation and entrapment. I knew they would find my weak points first and most of what would take place would be for that purpose.
I snapped eventually. They asked me for like the hundred time about dead people that did not exist.
"Why do you kill people?" they demanded to know.
I shouted back that the only dead people that were going to be around here were THEM as soon as they let me go.
Yes, I stepped in it. They got what they wanted.
I closed my eyes and I silently hoped that they would just take me to a cell where I could rot.
But NO.............they wanted MORE.
Where did I dispose of the bodies at? How many? What weapons did I use?
What the hell was I supposed to say? I was after all a fan of most media fiction and I spent hours digging for the good fan written fiction. That made me guilty in their eyes.
There is something hauntingly beautiful about death itself because IT is always after us. Always.
The deer that you do not see at midnight driving home from the bar that causes a car wreck. The door that you forgot to lock before you went to bed. The store you walked into during an armed robbery.
These are all sticky notes to us from a higher power. Reminding us in the most horrific way to appreciate every single day that we are blessed with. Once you accept this fact then you can love deeper than any ocean, you can cry harder than any storm, you can sing sweeter than any rockstar.
I think I caved in faster than they thought I would. They kind of looked disappointed.
But the fact remained that I write these stories and then I forget about them. Crap, I have got to remember some plot lines!
I wrote a story about a rabid dog once,but would they believe that? I wrote another story about............black widows and the trunk of a car.........but is that too far fetched? O wait! There was this one story where the protagonist melted a roll full of coins and poured it down someone's throat. But that's no good either because they would find none of those murder weapons in my house because they were just figments of my imagination in the first place.
I see the water, they are now pouring it on the ground in front of me. I am so thirsty. Parched.
OMFG! I have used tampons! Maybe if they look in the trash they can convince themselves that is someone else's blood!
I wish I could just say that I ate someone but then they would ask me where the bones were.
I have got to think of something and quick! They are starting to stare at me in a funny way. I do not like it.
The graveyard, I finally admit. I buried them in the grave yard. I do not remember which plot.
Surely that will satisfy them. That is where we all end up anyways.
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I suck at throwing pity parties. As a matter of fact, the last time I attempted to do so was around six months ago. The words were so stale and the thoughts so crusty that I felt mortified to share it with anyone so I posted in under a different profile.
The theme of my pity parties is always the same. I want to be a wallflower. Instead, I find it impossible to shirk the tie dyed camouflauge plummage that covers my nappy ass. I don't know what I am doing wrong. I post mundane blogs so that I can infiltrate the newest cyber community without being obtrusively spotted and I attempt to upload photos that damn near look like everyone else's. It doesn't work.
The second I become comfortable enough to post an original piece of free spirited art-the lime light of an upper wordly admin appears. I just want to blend in. I do not want the eyes of the cyber world oogling the front page so called masterpiece that bears my screen name because a webz diety has deemed the honor to be bestowed on my innermost scrawlings.
I spend hours reading TOS and looking for networks where that very thing can be avoided. Yes, I would like to have a few friends to call my own. However the cost of companionship is coming at an overly inflated price when it arrives on the heels of turning me into the newest latest hottest superstar.
AAH MAN I FEEL BAD NOW-but until I find that perfect place online I have no one but myself to blame
That puts pressure on me to perform. If I wanted a stage I would go to a strip bar. I just want to chat and share my often 3 cornered squarish thoughts that flow in horizontal patterns of psychedelic circles. That puts pressure on me to be nice in order to avoid potential conflict of jealous rivals. That puts pressure on me to self scrutinize every single little idea I have before I expose it to an all too eager waiting audience.
Thank you for thinking I am all that and a bag of chips-but shit, my self esteem is going to go into overdrive so that I do not risk loosing your approving adoration for a half licked dorito.
Well, as always I will do the best that I can to step up my game, now where the fuck are those chill pills because I am in bad need of an overdose.
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this is why I left facebook
http://www.cnn.com/2013/07/02/tech/social-media/facebook-threat-carter/index.html
quote from the article
"The law enforcement, the sheriff's department, the district attorney's office -- nobody wants to be the one that let him go," Flanary said. "They don't think about the person or the crime or the lack of crime ... they don't want to take responsibility for something happening in the future."
it does not matter that the kid ended the statement with LOL JK-they arrest first and detain for up to a year without trial-that is ONE helluva stretch of the imagination but the fact remains that it DID happen............
now what about all those groups that have pages on facebook that have spent YEARS uploading bondage pics of women-who is to say that someone may not report them for suspicion of actually having a woman in real bondage?- even if they post a disclaimer?
personally I think that only a few handful of americans still want free speech and democracy to continue enough so that they have the balls to continue protesting-even though the links I posted in the last blog clearly make it illegal to do so...............
I spent the better part of the morning googling links to understand how to survive the new world order that is being signed into law on a daily basis.
I think at some point it is better to act wiser and smarter than to work harder.
let me reiterate one more time-the usa government no longer recognizes disclaimers-that means for jokes or rap videos-or anything else-all art is in danger and can now be prosecuted-http://reason.com/blog/2013/06/07/teen-arrested-for-posting-rap-lyrics-on
you either write about bunnies and post pics of disney styled rainbows-or you find your ass locked up
the pics they are deleting are of red spanked bottoms (partially covered) they are equating violence (even if it is consensual remember they do not recognize disclaimers) to that of terror-or terrorism if you will................facebook is trying to get in compliance with government standards. I believe thatfacebook is actually being NICE by deleting the page admins to keep them from getting thrown in jail
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http://educate-yourself.org/cn/projectbluebeam25jul05.shtml
project blue beam
it's a long document to read and here are my personal thoughts although they may be offensive............
I was raised religious and then in my early twenties I had one of many ephiphanies,this one caused me to re read the material I was brought up with and then go to as many alternative sources as possible..........
Some part of me has always thought that there was some "hooey" involved in the rapture of the masses at the end of the world..........It was just a gut instinct.
That document makes sense.
I think MAYBE one reason why is because imao God stopped embarrassing people upon arrival of the new testament and for Him to start humiliating folks by taking some and leaving others just does not sound right.
^^ that link sounds right
===============================================================
(this is a quote from the passage)
In his book, 'The Body Electric,' Nobel Prize nominee Dr. Robert O. Becker describes a series of experiments conducted in the early 1960s by Allen Frie where this phenomena was demonstrated as well as later experiments conducted in 1973 at the Walter Reed Army Institute of Research by Dr. Joseph C. Sharp who personally underwent tests in which he proved he could hear and understand messages delivered to him in an echo-free isolation chamber via a pulsed microwave audiogram which is an analog of the word's sound vibration beamed into his brain. Becker then goes on to state, 'Such a device has obvious application for covert operations designed to drive a target crazy with unknown voices or deliver undetectable instructions to a programmed assassin."
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and technically although it is a stretch of the imagination-with all the attacks on free speech (the links I have posted) where kids are going to jail and THEN being aquitted-in a way that is an attempt to cleanse the population-and it does give other countries the right to invade under certain global agreements against genocide |
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I JUST found this commercial today-2 days after I predicted they would start rewriting the fables-
commercial
" rel="nofollow nofollow" target="_blank">
this is the story I wrote 2 days ago-
The fur coat lay on the bed half eaten from last winters' mothballs. I stared bleakly at it remorsefully. It was going to have to be one of the items that I would be taking with me.
I looked over my shoulder at the dead teenager forever sleeping on the floor. They walked in and shot him. **bam** One shot to the forhead.
His mortal sin was posting a joke on the internet. At first, the governement handed out life sentences for posting comments that they did not like.
Then it escalated. It snowballed.
The very first execution happened to be of a child whose parent even voted for the newly elected official. The newspapers had a heyday with it.
They are evrerywhere now. Armed vigiliantes burdgeoning fully loaded weapons with the blessing of the union.
It used to just be on the web. We all remember the lady who took a knitting class and got frustrated and said "I just want to stab the person who invented this crochet pattern in the face" She got turned in because there were video recorders they had enough evidence.
They shot her as she was sitting at the dinner table with her 2 month old toddler. **bang** One shot to the back of the head.
This is not Nazi Germany-this is the usa-in about 5 years.
Even the bed time stories had to be cleaned up. Red riding hood shakes hands with the wolf at the end. No violence. No tolerance.
I slip on my tattered sleeveless coat and I walk outside. I am going to go spitin the face of the cop that shot my son. I know it will be the last thing that I ever do.
I know this and I know that hell has officially frozen over.
Brrr* it's cold in here
============================= ==========================
needless to say we are fucked-it's there watch the commercial
the dark alleys ways are coming
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**the sub frenzy blog** I am going to add to this-
http://sub-mission-sos.blogspot.com/2011/05/sub-frenzy-and-self-control.html?zx=ad36693c33ea7a86
I tried the routine of exercise it recommended (based off my own instinct) but I did NOT try the sexuality in conjunction with it-that sounds like a mistake I made-I have got to remember that......................but then again I am not entirely ok with someone just handing me their genitals after a few emails.
and every other link I can find is a fucking carbon copy of that one-(face palm)
and I need to remember the phrase "forcing your submission on me" that sounds important and Domly- : )
and the think with the cold shoulder-legend has it subs do not like this and view it as wretched-however from first hand experience I do not feel it is meant to be taken that way-I feel like it is because the Dom/mme is hurt (angry) and does not know what else to do
yep something else I have to go figure out |
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When the femnazis (allegedly) got the censorship bandwagon rolling on facebook the war cry was that bdsm was abusive. Yes regardless of the links back to medical research that has already deteremined that it is no longer classsified as a pathology and further research has proven that bdsm activity engaged in consensually can be healthy.
At that point I had an epiphany. I knew what to say but only from a submissive point of view and that one coming from a long term loving relationship. I could not speak from the other side of the issue. I felt like that needed to change so I decided to assume the role of a Domme and start my own harem.
The first thing I noticed was that after I laid ground rules was that there was an obvious need for compromise. So again I offered solutions. This is where shit got hairy.................
The solutions I offered were not accepted. As the Domme the first thing I discussed were hard limits for BOTH myself and the subbie. My subbie was not ok with my hard limits and continued to push even after I restated in a second attempt to draw the line.
Whoah................
What to do what to do? So I doubted myself and then found another Dominant to run this crap by. It was clear to me at that point that the traditional idea of punishment was going to be in order. But it looked like it was going to be punishment on a regular basis.
I very much desire for my exploration of bdsm to be a two way street with my subbies that is why I clearly posted in my profile that I do not mind one who tops from the bottom. Perhaps I am mistaken there. Perhaps I am expecting too much?
I simply cannot bring myself to punish. Inflict some sadistiic pain that is mutually enjoyable yes.
I kind of got the feeling that the subbie was going to get what they wanted through manipulating me. Or at least attempting to.
I also get the feeling that this is going to keep on happening.
I kind of think that part of the problem I am having is that when I engage with another adult I want for them to act like an adult. I am not really so sure it works that way.
I cannot blame a subbie who has sub frenzy for being demanding-but I really am stumped.
hehhe-it's not funny but I gotta laugh about it.
I hate the fact that I am learning on real people-because either which way while I am figuring out how to "Domme" people are going to get their feelings hurt. Including me and that does not seem right.
**edited** I feel like I need a flash course on sub frenzy**I am going to work on that |
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During the recent facebook deletions I have witnessed many of U/s posting a question that sounds like this'-how do we explain to the vanillas that what W/e do is not abusive?
My first response is that power exchange exists in all walks of life. We all submit to something on a daily basis. Whether it is the red stop light or the hunger pains we experience at noon or the fact that the coupons DO have an expiration date and you better use em up quick!
Some of us recognize the craving for less power and someof us respond to the need for more of it. Please do not tell me that the other day when I saw you throwing a damned fit at the bank because you had to wait thirty fucking seconds for another window to open that you did not secretly LOVE being "dominant"
I am not that stupid but you want to treat me that way by censoring U/s? I think it is time for you to step back-the fact is that 50 percent of all marriages end in divorce and I am pretty sure that most are vanilla-That means half of you are screwing up your own relationships-yet you think you know more about my personal life than I do?
O really? Damn here we go...............
I talk all day and do not misunderstand I enjoy it but when I am with my Dominant I am more than pleased to give up that OBLIGATION. I understand that frightens you. However I am schooled in the art of social manners and I feel this to be often burdensome. I do not throw hissy fits in public and demand to see the manager. I stop and I listen and I work out ways to solve issues. This is time consuming. My dominant can sway almost anyone with one simple charming grin and that is often more than enough. I actually feel like I am getting some of my power back when my Dominant uses a ball gag. I understand this disturbs you. But during the playtime we have together I am FREE. I release my resentment towards the dorks who emotionally drained me over the past 24 hours while I carried out daily life.
I move around all day long too. Yes I have eyes in the back of my head and I use whatever body parts I can to double as an extra set of arms because I am the QUEEN of multitasking. I have errands to run, food to cook, a job to work,family to catch up with, and now I have a mess I have to clean up because my cat took a crap on the floor (he has decided he wants his litter box moved-this is a game he plays) I am so busy that there are times I talk on the phone and pee simultaneously. I understand that this causes spasms of elation to flow through the veins of the feminists because I have successfully demonstrated my ability to be SUPERWOMAN. I would stop and take a bow but my cape has a smudge on it from the coffee I spilled earlier when I was trying to answer the doorbell and grab the mail. Oops my bad. Sometimes I want a turn to stop and smell the roses,chill out,vegetate. I know that you would rather have me in front of the tv watching commercials that will give me guilt trips over not buying enough of the latest techno crap they are selling. I have got enough crap dammit-why do I need more? Instead I choose to curl up at my Dominants' feet and (OMFG) lick his toes,or read a real paperback book while he delicately brushes my hair from my face with his fingertips. I know this type of recreation disgusts you.
In conclusion, I have learned that feminism represents above all else intolerance and dictatorship. The very traits you point your little waggy finger at and accuse ME of are the ones I see you demonstrating. |
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this is a quote from the link
"We take any threats of that nature seriously," Wells said. "We don't know if they're going to carry it out or not. It's the job of the courts to decide whether to indict and to determine someone's guilt or innocence. Our job is to obtain the evidence and submit a complaint."
http://www.usatoday.com/story/news/nation/2013/07/03/teen-facebook-threat/2485921/
if you use ANY word the usa government does not like-that could be you in jail-
my family and I had a long talk last night-and we pretty much all agreed that america is now under communist regime..............perhaps in a few years if/when we get a white male back in office this bullshit will stop.
Even art is outlawed-if it contains words the government does not like. There is a link that goes to a kid who faces 20 years for a rap video online if you google it.
I am having a really hard time accepting this-major corporations and politicians still retain the right to free speech but it has clearly been revoked for everyone else.
http://www.forbes.com/sites/erikkain/2012/01/02/president-obama-signed-the-national-defense-authorization-act-now-what/
they even have the power to assasinate without trial-
http://www.nytimes.com/2011/10/09/world/middleeast/secret-us-memo-made-legal-case-to-kill-a-citizen.html?hp&_r=0
I know believe that IS what was behind the attempted gun law restrictions-I think that the more gun law restrictions they pass the harder they make it for some states to annex in the future event of a civil war
In this clip-">
Evie asks-is it worth it? and he answers 'you wear a mask for so long that eventually you forget who you were underneathe it.
I feel like it has come time for me to decide-I feel like it is time for all of us to decide-do I log off and pray that the next official will restore our freedom and hope that I can remember who I used to be? Or will it all be in vain and this IS the way life will stay?
I have one more link to add if I can find it.
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http://www.okgazette.com/oklahoma/article-18604-cracking-the-code.html
At some point since I refuse to believe in government induced censorship I thought perhaps I might need to write this down. This way when the men in black come for me we will not have to set through repeated retellings of an endless story that will stay the same.
The same country blood runs through my veins that runs through Bradley Mannings and Karen Silkwoods. Although there are many people who oppose oppression of the first amendment right to free speech I have my own personal reasons.
I am an oklahoman. No I do not post that online-My tax dollars are paying the elected officials who choose to censor and I want my damn dollars worth!
My state is open and free. Literally. It seems as if we have more grass than people. There really isn't much entertainment to engage in here so I believe that is what encourages our imaginations and boldness to go where no man has gone before.
Our water is called lake dirty bird-it's that nasty. Our version of a waterpark has not had some features changes in over 30 years making it LOOK hazardous. Our version of "disneyland" is disgusting-it smells like pee. Yeah, for real.
Our eductional system sucks and it always has. We are better of in the library seeking information on our own.
Even our own newspaper writers call us balls to the walls crazy for living in tornado alley. I agree. We have passion that does not die even when entire cities are wiped off of our maps.
Believe it or not we are good people. Although it would seem that due to the recent facebook mass deletions of hillbilly redneck pages the media now thinks of as undesirable.
That's sad because we produce a lot of talent. The band HINDER comes from oklahoma. Reba Mcentire, Carrie Underwood,CHUCK FUCKING NORRIS,hell even Dr. Phil is from here!
The word is that we simply cannot keep producing such talent if you are going to unjustly shred the first amendment bill of right like a piece of junk mail. Because when you censor and give jail time then no one gives a crap anymore about the good things in life
Shame on you...............now I think it's time to
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this is MY original artwork-since my government no longer recognizes the line between jokes/art and reality-I offer this for perusal because it is only a matter of time- "> (v is for vendetta)
https://www.wsws.org/en/articles/2013/06/29/cart-j29.html (governement)
The fur coat lay on the bed half eaten from last winters' mothballs. I stared bleakly at it remorsefully. It was going to have to be one of the items that I would be taking with me.
I looked over my shoulder at the dead teenager forever sleeping on the floor. They walked in and shot him. **bam** One shot to the forhead.
His mortal sin was posting a joke on the internet. At first, the governement handed out life sentences for posting comments that they did not like.
Then it escalated. It snowballed.
The very first execution happened to be of a child whose parent even voted for the newly elected official. The newspapers had a heyday with it.
They are evrerywhere now. Armed vigiliantes burdgeoning fully loaded weapons with the blessing of the union.
It used to just be on the web. We all remember the lady who took a knitting class and got frustrated and said "I just want to stab the person who invented this crochet pattern in the face" She got turned in because there were video recorders they had enough evidence.
They shot her as she was sitting at the dinner table with her 2 month old toddler. **bang** One shot to the back of the head.
This is not Nazi Germany-this is the usa-in about 5 years.
Even the bed time stories had to be cleaned up. Red riding hood shakes hands with the wolf at the end. No violence. No tolerance.
I slip on my tattered sleeveless coat and I walk outside. I am going to go spitin the face of the cop that shot my son. I know it will be the last thing that I ever do.
I know this and I know that hell has officially frozen over.
Brrr* it's cold in here |
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here is what makes me so mad about facebook censorship......it would seem as if raunchy redneck-age and bdsm are being unjustly bulls eyed-
it seems to be OK in the media but not from a real person?
how 'bout some hillbilly handfishin?
">
9 and half weeks
">
the secretary
">
pathology
">
wild orchid
">
and now the usa gov and facebook both admit that they do not understand that a joke ends with lol and jk
http://www.cnn.com/2013/07/02/tech/social-media/facebook-threat-carter/index.html
there have actually been a lot of young men recently arrested for comments and in one case a RAP video-
here is the problem with that-only a handful of people are actually going to make it to the big screen-the rest of US (yes I said us) are forever at the bottom of a web screen writting our short stories or posting our pics or composing our music.
It's ok for stephen king to write gruesome but not an unknown writer? because that is what it amounts to-if a RAPPER can get arrested then who is next? the painters? the bloggers?
Many years ago before most of you were born comedians like George Carlin also got arrested and went to jail for their art........ http://www.thesmokinggun.com/mugshots/celebrity/hollywood/george-carlin
certain humor is deemed illegal now-I think that's scary. We are right back to where we started but the jail sentences are LONG in some cases 20 years.
https://www.wsws.org/en/articles/2013/06/29/cart-j29.html
recently many of the pages that I have liked on facebook have posted FUNNY signs with the words "crazy" and "kill"-right now they could be prosecuted-yes right now
I have been going to the advertisers' pages and I have been publicly posting this message-
facebook has removed many pages because they think that certain people do NOT have the right to spend their money at certain stores-my lifestyle is being prosecuted-(I am a redneck and a submissive wife) due to this I am reporting your page because if my money is not good enough for you then you are not good enough to be on MY facebook page
This shit has got to stop and it has got to stop NOW.
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actually it's a lot worse than that-in order for free speech to be revoked there has to be immediate threat PROVEN-under the new laws enacted in the usa-no such proof is needed-and they have the right to EXECUTE with out trial-
yep-if you or anyone else uses words they do not like online-they CAN walk up to you and put a BULLET through your two front eyes-
even if it is an 18 year old kid making a joke
if you do not have a prepaid funeral plan-now is a good time to get one-they are like 1,000 for cremation-yes you can google what I just said
I have heard those gerber plans are awesome-you might want to make sure your kids are covered too |
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http://www.change.org/petitions/release-justin-carter-and-change-the-investigative-criteria-for-terroristic-threat-laws#share
well the shit just hit the fan-the kid in that petition is facing 8 years jail time for a snarky facebook joke
a woman who was not even a part of the conversation did a search and located the kids addresss-(she stalked him) and that was all she wrote
I am sure everyone is aware of the new surveillance that was recently established-
I am shocked.....................no more free speech. That's the icing on the cake-yet the fact remains that in other countries people are literally doing the same thing with no repurcussions
That's bad-first a joke what next?
O gawd the whole country is screwed.
Now would be the perfect time for a zombie apocalypse
sign the petition please and lets get this kid out of prison |
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well I was going to post links-https://www.facebook.com/TheLovingDomIi?fref=ts and this one-https://www.facebook.com/ICoFS2
see that little war on screen where one page admin accuses the other of being a predator? I am taking the side of the one making the accusations............
why though? because he is the nicer one? because MOST guys are assholes who get drunk and do not use condoms...that's why pre ordained steroetypes
that's one of the reasons WHY I would NEVER go public with a scene-only online-shit I can't even get some of my subbies to handle having their cock turned into a damn flower for my pleasure
however with that being said I have been on the side of having shit flung at me-I firmly believe it is important to allow the people to speak-I have always published all comments when I was keeping a blog over at w.p.
I think each and every statement needs to be addressed and not run away from-that is until the website turns into a pedo palace the way that w.p. turned into-then it's time to leave-LOL
even when the allegations hurt-even when they run out of excuses to attempt to inflict torment and start name calling-it ALL needs to be addressed-
for example "trailer trash" yeah they ran out of things to say-and this is how I responded-">
because when it slides that far from the truth it just turns into basic yo mama jokes
That is part of being Dom/mme know when to hold 'em when to fold 'em when to walk away when to run-LOL
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I wanna jot a few notes while I am still thinking about this
there seems to be a common style in the kinky world for guys-bald head and goatee-even my husband looks this way-odd but sexy
secondly-I kinda wondered if I would have the gumption to stay "in the lifestyle" with my ever increasing age being a factor-I will not lie about it-it's really not that bad-if anything it just seems to be one more taboo thing-
next-the male subbies I seem to get to follow me are the ones that I flirt with and not actually have online rolepaying sex with...........I find that odd too
I nailed one in the balls and forced the other one to sing for me-pleasurable for everyone involved and thus friendships start from that point-I am kind of relieved that I don't have to be turbo nymph
last there is no way in hell I would ever do this in real life, even being a female role playing Domme there is just too great of a chance of violating someone's boundaries-even when I start a scene that is suggested by the subbie they sometimes back out-I ALWAYS try to give them control over how the scene gets staged-and then I custom build it.
Last night I had an amazing scene going on where the dude wanted us to be college co eds and he was going to be my sex slave..............
I designed the scene and I came up with the context of making up an assignment for art class that we had missed...........I wanted to turn his penis into a flower
He ran off before I could finish. I really liked that scene dammit |
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http://i.imgur.com/vHcT9Ok.jpg" alt="Create your own banner at mybannermaker.com!" border="0" />
pet made this for me today-a little bit of bittersweet here-he asked me for instructions and I told him all that I wanted was for him to be happy-yes I am aware that in the end he is probably better off with Mistresses that are closer to him in his age bracket and can use him in more fitful ways that what I can devise-I am proud to be able to share him with my "kinky sisters" but damn it's sweet-
This is part of the reason why I decided to change directions after the facebook censorship-if people can expend so much energy hating U/s-then maybe I am missing something-perhaps I need to deepen my own appreciation for what exists within O/ur lifestyle
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this is a copy/paste from a facebook page that I like and is trying to rebuild-(I won't post the comments but they are worth reading)
~his lili~ Here's the thing, when I created this page it was something I did for myself. I wanted a place to go where I could truly be myself. When these attacks started happening to all the pages targeting BDSM as abusive to women. I was offended. I take it personally and it is because I care. Some may say it's just facebook, it is not your life. Well the truth of the matter is it is my life. What at first was just something fun to pass the time has changed for me. Here is why.
My sir and I have been together for 17 years now. I have not truly been submissive to him until 2 years ago. When I say truly, I mean our relationship is something I would never have called vanilla, but it didn't have a label on it. We naturally fell into a milder d/s type relationship years ago. BDSM has always fascinated me. It took a very important dear friend of mine to make me open my eyes and ask for what I as a woman needed from my partner. You all know her as pet, the other admin on this page. I will share what she means to me another day, because well our relationship is something I am not sure I will ever understand. But I know she is a beautiful important person in my life and I need her.
In the beginning after having the courage to ask for something I thought was probably not going to happen for me, my husband was reluctant and viewed BDSM as abusive towards women. It took a long time for us to research and learn together what it really is to be in a d/s together. Now he recognizes that our relationship is stronger for it. There is more security for us. We just love another way than others. To each their own, right?
Well when people start infringing on my rights to come out in the open and share a part of myself with people and judge me for the way I live my life, it pisses me off. I care too much, to let people brow beat me and have me running and hiding out in closed groups or other sites on the internet. If this page gets closed down, I would loose respect for myself if I just gave up. I will not give up, because I will be damned if some Women who don't get it, are going to tell me how to behave in public. I will not let anyone tarnish my life, or make me feel ashamed for who I am. If I walk away and hide, I would not be making my sir, who had so many hang ups in the beginning of our relationship, proud of me.
So if anyone thinks this is not my fight they are DEAD wrong. Stay tuned the party is just getting started. And thanks for all the words of support.
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with that being said even though I continue to follow and support them I am giving up-throwing in the towel-I am going to hide with the harem of adorable men I will seduce into worshipping me in dark ass corners of the web-I do not think I will ever go mainstream again
http://i.imgur.com/HN5CVO0.jpg" alt="Create your own banner at mybannermaker.com!" border="0" />
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http://www.change.org/petitions/facebook-to-successfully-petition-facebook-to-change-their-terms-of-service#
I am on facebook and saw this petition today- I am trying to help out by posting the link here~
that is where I am in ONE place~ and W/e fought a hard battle over the past few days-fb deleted everyone-
this is the group that was believed to have started the censorship-https://www.facebook.com/WomenActionMedia
pardon my language but I am tired-we stomped some righteous ass! one lady was posting bdsm pics all over their page and I hit them with bdsm youtube and bdsm poetry that I wrote that had been published by major companies-it was an attempt to make them understand that WOMEN were the ones posting the pages-and O/ur bdsm was not abusive
we shamed the crap out of them but really do you know how good it feels to stomp some ass?
LOL~Yeehaw!
we discussed the bs that was started and people tried to explain to them that men are submissive too and yes they like to be chained up and gagged
eventually I finally decided that it was because some of the fb mods had joined the bdsm pages and been rejected for acting like asses-so they sought revenge-I have seen a few on wordpress
regardless of the case it was said to be humor pages and military pages too
it does not matter they fought hard and are still fighting and I stand behind them every step of the way
my good deed is done I am going the fuck to bed
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regardless of how the relationship turns out this has been one HELLL of an amazing day! **yes my hubby knows**
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new story WHIPPED LIKE CAPPUCIANO
I like coffee the way that Steve Erkel likes supenders. One cup is not enough. The same way that a shop-a-holic masturbates over a no limits credit card, I too swoon over a never ending flowing mug of Java. No coffee and is like sex with no lube. What's the point?
He comes towards me or maybe he actually never left my side. I am not afraid of him. He does not understand why. He spits on me taking his time to watch the drool form goops of saliva bubbles running down my cheeks.
He does not fight fair because he thinks that is beneathe him. Instead when he makes physical contact he goes for my achilles tendon. Every time. Every single damn time. I have learned how to stand still long enough to steel myself against his kicks. The scars I have from the talons he has attached to his heels create a map of victory from the abuse I have survived.
Now he just punches me in the back of my knee caps so that I lurch forward from the jolt. Lunch will be a lukewarm plateful of carpet soaked in my own sweat which will coat my tongue with the sour stench of his reprehension.
The coffee. Yeah, the coffee is what pumps enough caffeine into my system to allow me to FEEL. I need that. His brutality has caused me to dissasociate from being connected to anything but his warped mentality.
Sometimes I wish I could be afraid. Sometimes I wish I could fuck my own self.
The wolf in sheeps clothing. I love him. The bruises that he leaves behind show me exactly who I am.
Eventually he sets at my feet and he sings because I have wore him out. He cannot break me with his violence so he attempts to seduce me.
What to do what to do except blush?
I force my tongue down his throat and capture his tongue full of wistful lies and suck until he cries from the pressure.
Eventually his cock wilts and he adds to the puddle of my sweat on the floor in a burst of disappointed loathing and belated self pity. I feel sorry for him.
I walk away because I always walk away if I stay he will come at me flying with open palms to slap me into a feigned submission. Say my name BITCH, he commands Say my name CUNT he orders, and when I grab him by the head of his curly ashen locks and twist his infuriated bulky mass to a place below my nose I look down and whisper into his ear.
Satan |
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he got me FLOWERS-on the first day flowers-that's some serious shit-LOL-I copied the pic he sent me-he made them! isn't my pet awesome!
http://i.imgur.com/qw5t6Yb.jpg" alt="Create your own banner at mybannermaker.com!" border="0" />
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update-I have my first pet ((human pet)) I did not think I would be able to do this-I am so fucking proud!
Yeehaw ((bdsmfriendbook made a new account private))
LOL my pet is even entertaining me! ((we happen to both share an unusual fetish-seriously what are the odds of that shit happening?))
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I think I just really got lucky
btw did NOT meet him here-although he has an account here
I am so hawt! hehhe-go cougar! |
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well-I have a few things to say
**first of all I did see the volunteers tab and I checked out collarme's twitter and new facebook page-so it seems they are officially a dating site now from what their tweets are saying......and everyone knows volunteers means censorship so of course I have no delusions about my profile actually staying after this gets posted-I have already copied and pasted it so the writing has been saved-I was deleted the first time due to an image I posted-it was not obscene or illegal it was just one of the websites I was frequenting at the time (a banner for it)
anyways my big news-for who ever gets to read it before the volunteers erase it
I am no longer on wordpress-they posted a pedo lover on the FRONT page of freshly pressed
I have done everything to get away from that shit,literally everything
A femnazi blogger is encouraging others to write to baku the pedo that owns FL-http://maybemaimed.com/2013/03/05/ready-to-ditch--tools-to-make-the-transition-easier/
the link talks about the pedo incident
I am gathering a few things from this-first if someone asked you to write to the KKKK clan and ask them to please strop hating white people do you think it would work?
Well as long as the blog has the name FEMNAZI then it does not matter-you can tell people to do whatever outrageous thing in the name of feminism and still make the front page...............
I really am just blown away-to the point to where I did some googling-and it is starting to look like that pedo is becoming "acceptable"-kind of like the rape apologists-people are just accepting pedo as apart of life-and I cannot
anyways,there it is ,and I am happy for you all and the changes the you made-and yes I do not care if you delete this
I am going to update my profile- |
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FL is sending people out to rape women
http://www.barrenbrain.com/blog/2013/01/28/has--popped-its-bubble/
I was right. I didn’t want to be right about that. excerpt from the blog
Claims about lack of safety and bullying on the network are rife. There are countless stories to be told. Moderators are known to have breached users privacy by sharing private email addresses of popular female members at gatherings. Some of this information was used to locate a person’s home.
I know collarme has a censor filter so the link won't show up
right where the lines are after "has--popped" fill in the full word for FL
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oh lusty where have you been?
well, I have been adding an extreme amount of bdsm pages to my facebook likes feed and I have been actively engaged in the bdsm community on wordpress
I have been happy and that is the point. This period of contentment involved the absence of the big brother censorship that collarme dishes out when it deletes shit from albums...and of course FL is just fubar.....and then I found out that a child was sexually harrassed by Baku.....apparently this happened a while back but I have been out of the loop due to the fact that I am just tired of all the big brother shit
So yesterday I snapped
There was one too many references to fl's fubar status going across my feed
I did some amazing photoshops of Baku as the pedo that he really is and I posted them on fl's facebook page.....I told everyone about how one of the last remarks I left on my fl account before I was banned was the fact that I thought the fl staff was pedo-and come to find out I was right
Every time you log into fl you are supporting pedophilia-advertisers do not always pay per click they sometimes pay based off of website traffic
Think about that,
The person who owns fl is a child molestor and when you log onto fl you are giving him a paycheck that means that being a child molestor is OK with you |
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fair warning-one of the bdsm pages I have liked and followed (actually many of them) continue to get reported by vanillas who do not understand that many of us have either been banned from a kinky network or are sick of the censorship-
as retribution for that act I am now reporting the fb limit each day (which is about 20) of anyone who has left a comment or liked something on fl
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reposted here from wordpress from a blogger called "beaten into submission"
http://beatensub.wordpress.com/2013/04/17/why-disney-is-like-bdsm/
(it is an original blog)
Why Disney is like BDSM
In Disney you can be thrown in a cage and no one will think it’s odd.In BDSM you can be thrown in a cage and no one will think it’s odd. In Disney you have a Queen who you serve.In BDSM you have a Queen who you serve. In Disney dreams come true.In BDSM dreams come true. In Disney you have magic and talking animals.In BDSM you have magic and talking animals. In Disney you can be a good guy and still get whippedIn BDSM you can be a good guy and hopefully you will get whipped In Disney you have magic words that can make everything better.In BDSM you have safe words that can make everything better. In Disney you can have hard core gender roles and it isn’t odd.In BDSM you can have hard core gender roles and it isn’t odd. In Disney you work hard for your happy ending.In BDSM you work hard for your happy ending. In Disney you can have the strangest things happen to you and no one will think twice.In BDSM you can have the strangest things happen to you and no one will think twice. In Disney if you want to break out into random song and dance it’s okay.In BDSM if you are told to break out into song and dance it’s going to happen. In Disney you can be a slave to your evil stepmother and no one will worry about you.In BDSM you can be a slave to your ‘evil’ Mommy/Daddy/Mistress and no one will worry about you. In Disney the standard punishment for being bad is being chained in the dungeon In BDSM the standard punishment for being bad is being chained in the dungeon. So really, I think everyone should watch Disney, it taught me a lot about how to have a healthy BDSM based relationship. |
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reposted here from wordpress (because I am bored) the blogger is called "a submissive's initiative"-who also has a facebook page-the blog's credit was given to a screen name called "hisgoodgirl"
Why I Don’t Bitch About My Girfriends/Boyfriends on the Internet
By HisGoodGirl
It is remarkably easy to convince your child that Santa exists. After all, the child trusts you implicitly – why wouldn’t they take your word when you tell them there’s a red-suited jolly guy who brings them presents via a venison-powered transportation system?
Still, it’s a little declasse to do victory laps around the block, yelling, “See? I convinced Virginia that yes, there is a Santa Claus! What wondrous proof that Santa exists!”
Yet people do it. They do it all the damn time, particularly when it’s about ex-boyfriends or arguments they’re having with soon-to-be ex-girlfriends.
The reason I’m writing this essay is something a friend of mine wrote a while ago: “The high road sure is a frustrating bitch, sometimes. Luckily, there’s all that rewarding moral superiority.” That stuck with me, because I worry that’s how I come off when I tell people, “I try not to blog about the arguments I’m having with my lovers” – as if the reason I avoid airing my dirty laundry in public is because I’m just naturally superior.
No, it’s because I’ve learned the feedback you get is nonsensical and misleading.
There’s one of three reasons people read what you write on the Internet:
1) They’ve come to trust your opinion enough to want to know what you have to say. (Thankfully, this is the most common reason.)
2) They think you’re a fascinating train wreck, and want to see what sort of dysfunction you’re up to this week.
3) They think you’re an active hazard, and your blog is a lighthouse warning of what deplorable fuckeries you plan on committing.
Now, in the case of #1, you’ve built up a big ol’ well of trust to draw from. People have showed up because you’re either a good friend who they like, or because you’ve dropped enough truth-bombs that they’ve become a fan of your blogsmithery. In either case, whenever you post that Facebook status, you are talking to people swimming in a deep pool of “Benefit of the Doubt.”
In other words, you’re talking to an audience that is on your side already. And as long as whatever you write doesn’t insult them directly, well hey, all your complaints are gonna sound good! I mean, if I’m in an argument and dash off some Chinese fortune cookie complaint like, oh, “You can’t have true love without true trust,” then twenty people will like it on Facebook and the comment threads with my friends will be about how yes, true love needs a partner who believes in you.
But like all advice, that’s good in a vacuum. What if my wife’s complaint is that I’m spending all my free nights with a single girl she has never authorized, a girl who she knows is deeply attracted to me? What if she’s come home to find us cuddled up on the couch, knowing that I’ve been texting her at mysterious times and never letting Gini see what I wrote… And then, aggrieved after she’s been haranguing me for more detail on what’s going on, I flee to my Twitter and write angrily about her neediness and lack of belief in me?
NOTE: This has not happened. But if it damn well did, then my complaint of “You can’t have love without trust” becomes an obfuscated complaint of, “Gini doesn’t trust me when I’m doing sketchy things.”
But hey! I write the posts, so I get to frame how all this turns out. And I’m talking to a veeeeery Santa-friendly audience. They all vouch for my status as a Good Guy. And what I get are tons of attaboys, and you keep dropping that wisdom, and lots of positive feedback for something that I could well be completely wrong on in the first place.
In other words, what I get when I post about my troubles to the Internet is an echo chamber, telling me how wonderfully correct I am. It’s the kid, hanging the stockings by the fireplace. Because relationships are relative things – it’s right in the fucking word, people – any complaint I have, no matter how fucktastically incorrect, can be extracted and made to be true for someone.
“The beautiful thing about being a grown-up is that you get to choose your own family.” – Charlie Manson
“When all else fails, you just have to believe in yourself.” – Jenny McCarthy, head of the anti-vaccine movement
“When you find the right person, you have to follow your heart.” – Britney Spears
See? All true for someone… But not the people I’ve attributed them to.
And what’ll happen if I keep posting discussions on what’s wrong with my girlfriends? Some of the #1s will automatically take my side, whereas many others will quietly slide into the #2s (train wreck) and the #3s (uses your blog as a warning). But they won’t post, generally. Why would they? Your blog/Facebook/Twitter is generally a positive space, unless you’ve been so psychodramatic that you’ve actually edged out all the #1s and now the #2s and #3s are in the majority.
(NOTE: This sad state can be assumed if you’re in high school. Everyone’s nutty in high school. Be prepared to be flayed alive, should you complain.)
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in regards to the boston attack the other day-I am on a website that has been mentioning the "boston tea party" A LOT-so many times that it had raised my suspicion levels........I don't know if there is a connection there but, it just seems strange
and the weird thing about it is the website is yougov-a survey site-but over the past few months there have been dozens of question about the "boston tea party' idk wtf? |
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suspended by sex
swallowed gravity feigning
bound by rope dancing
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I blog now exclusively over at wordpress-there is a great deal more affection over there and it is wonderful to have a "like" feature to use in addition to the "follow" feature-they have a really nice section on bdsm tags |
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