OpenMindOpenHand

I am leaving. Now that I know what I want to write, I need to set up a schedule and get started on that. Therefore, no time to entertain myself with alleged s-types and their silly little games.

If you really want to talk, I am @rough_elegance on Twitter. Do not contact me on that site with a lot of "Mistress", "Goddess" b.s.  It is not that sort of site, and I have non bdsm friends, family and colleagues. I will block you for that sort of thoughtless behavior.

"You still have the power to look out of a thumbnail photo and make a fellow's heart beat a bit faster"- N.T.S. 

It's a lovely compliment. Even more so, because, I truly do respect his opinions, about everything but Laura Ingalls Wilder and God.

Time for a rest break. If you are already writing to me (and where are you UK boy?) feel free to continue. I'll get back to you, eventually.

Oh my! It is no wonder there are so many people on this site who don't know what BDSM is! This is from Wikipedia:

"The term BDSM was coined as a condensed acronym in the 1990s to combine communities and practices that had a significant amount of crossover – bondageand discipline (B&D or B/D),dominance and submission (D&S or D/s), and sadomasochism or sadism and masochism (S&M or S/M). BDSM is currently frequently used as a catch-all phrase to includes a wide range of activities, forms of interpersonal relationships, and distinctsubcultures which may or may not fit well into the original three intended categories. With an ethos of "your kink is OK!" many BDSM communities welcome anyone with a non-normative streak who identifies with the community; this may include cross-dressers, extreme body mod enthusiasts,animal players, latex or rubber aficionados, and others."

Coined in the 1990's ? Really?  hahaahaha  Maybe the 1690's! The only thing I agree with that is said in that quote is that CURRENTLY BDSM is used as a catch-all phrase. Just because that's how it is currently used, doesn't mean that's the correct usage, though, now, does it?

The rest of what Wikipedia has to say on the subject of BDSM is equally wrong. Probably, written by someone born in the 1990's, who only has experience of  the shallow b.s. that most often passes for BDSM now. 

To me, slaves are people who work, share in your life to some extent, who act as tools towards helping you reach your goals because they wish to be those tools. 

Slaves can be people who retain property, friends, and even all the basic things of their vanilla life,  and, even though being owned 24/7, they can be people who only actively serve at certain intervals or in certain ways.

Slaves can be people who wear regular clothes, only the clothes they are allowed to wear or who are not allowed to wear clothes.

Slaves can be lightly disciplined, as the way a beloved child would be; they can be sternly disciplined, as a beloved child would be in a more old-fashioned family; they can be disciplined harshly but fairly; or, they can be micro-managed and learn through constant humiliation, pain and fear.

Since the slave is freely offering themselves for service, it should be taken into account how they wish to serve, what use is best made of them, what would help them to thrive in their slavehood. However, the primary concern of their potential owner should not be "What must I do to own this slave?" but "Is what this slave needs or wants something that I care to do?" 

Most slaves offer oral sex. I do not wish it from them. They also tend to offer an end to housework. I like housework, though I need help to do it well. They also tend to offer pampering. Now, some pampering is good, when it's the kind I want at the time I want it. When the slave''s goal is to pamper and groom, though, it can make one feel like their doll, instead of their owner, so a little of that goes a long way, and I find it best, more often than not, that the slave pays for professionals to do that grooming and pampering. Otherwise, they tend to get above their station.

Many slaves offer to starve and suffer. Starving and suffering tend to break down one's health and so they are not very useful activities for a slave to engage in. They do not thrill me, for I do not wish anyone to starve or suffer. The only way this could be useful is if we were in a situation where there was very limited food and someone needed to go out in the blizzard, to fetch wood for the fire. In that case, starving and suffering of slaves becomes a very useful, kind act. I'm still not much for it, mind you, but, at least it has a point to it! 

Many slaves want to have butt plugs forced up their bum, and be ordered to crawl around on their hands and knees, and they refuse to clean the floor by any other method. This is a needless waste of time.

If they want a butt plug in, they should earn some free time, by getting their chores done faster and they should purchase, keep, and use that butt plug during their off hours. Slave butts are not a joy to use. Feces comes out of them! The use of butt plugs hastens the break down of the anus and increases the likelihood of anal leakage. I don't play with scat, so why would I want a leaky slave? Therefore if they must use them, it should be on their own time, and then they should always wear clothes, so as to protect my sensibilities and furniture.

Many slaves want to be with me 24/7. If I wanted a needlessly clingy person in my life, I would still have my last boyfriend. If I have to be with a slave 24/7, and I can never go on vacation without that slave, or go on a date without reassuring him and calling him at odd intervals, etc. then that makes me the slave.

Slaves should be willing to wait upon their owner and to wait for their owner, as it is deemed necessary; not by the slave, but, by the owner. 

Short version: Slaves should be honest about what they are, they should seek out knowledge (in unobtrusive ways first) of what a potential owner desires, and they should only contact that person if there seems a real likelihood of compatibility.

One slave I am talking to, he seems highly compatible in some ways, but, one possible barrier is that he is very much concerned with country life. I've had country life. Sometimes I enjoy country life, but, I could not guarantee that I would always enjoy it, never want to live in the city, etc.

Does that mean we would not and could not suit? Not necessarily. It means that is his condition, that he must live in the country. If another condition is that I must never travel without him, must always live directly with him, then, we are not suited. For, sometimes, I actively need things related to cities, like movies and people that I know who dwell in them. Err.. dwell in the cities, not the movies!

Another fine conversation, about to be trashed (but, first, posted for your edification and possibly your education):

innerme on 11/7/12 at 10:04 AM Good Day Ms Hope you don’t mind I introduce myself, I am a submissive mature man, im fit and kind person , enjoy life, I am single im doner swan , I honestly do not switch, and have been submissive all my life although in my job I am alpha, I lean towards being slave mostly. I would love to find a dominant woman for a lasting relationship, someone I can confide my feelings of surrender too. I would be willing to relocate for someone who we booth felt this is it , if not friendship is always welcome . Thank you for your time and if you are interested in a submissive man as me , I would look forward to your response.

Me:I don't know what "doner swan" means. If by lasting relationship, you mean solely as you being a slave and me being an owner, with no thought of it being romantic or sexual, i might be interested.

him:are you saying no sexual contact at all? in a long term relationship

Me: You know, if you bothered to read, and to understand what a SLAVE is, this would not even be a question that you'd waste my time on.

Why ever would I have sex with a slave? Don't be gross!

him:everyone has a different view of what a slave is , being a christian does it not bother you

Me:Then, maybe, everyone should read a book, or at least a dictionary. OR, here is a concept. Maybe, just maybe, the people who want to be slaves should read the profile and journal entries of those who they think might suit their definition of what being a slave is, to find out if that is true, BEFORE they contact them.

I am not here to justify myself to you. First, you want me to have sex with you, then you think I should find slavery appalling because I am a Christian? Everyone is a slave to someone, as you'd know if you understood anything the Bible says, and, yet, indiscriminate sex is spoken of as wrong.

Feel free not to respond, because you are too uneducated, too close-minded, and too concerned with only your self to be of any interest to me.

Me:You know what ? Never mind. I'll block you, to help you out. You obviously don't care what others think and you obviously have no self control if you want to be in a sexual relationship that's outside of marriage. Goodbye.

What education, do you ask? Well, you learn more about me, personally, and what a waste of time it is to show up and offer me something I darned well do not want. lol  Also, perhaps, you'll be inspired to look up the definition for slave in a dictionary.

sexslavedavid on 11/7/12 at 8:45 AM thank you for visiting my page :-)

Me: I only visited it so that I could hide it, and it would no longer show up as being related to my search. I have no interest in sex slaves.

him: i only smiled at you, just for thankin

me:I am telling you that there is no need to thank me, because, I only went to your profile to hide it. You are very polite to say thank you, but, in this instance, there is no need.

Goodbye, David.

him:can i ask why you need to hide my profile

me:No, because I already told you.

him: ok you said you wanna a slave inside all for you, loving you, without sex arguments

me: No, I did not. Why don't you scroll down to what I said to you in the beginning and then you will know what I said to you.

him: can i ask you what is your search related in/for? thanks

me: No. As I said, I have no interest in sex slaves. That's all you need to know, since that is what you are.
Then, of course, I blocked him. Not that I bear him any malice, but, either he is not paying any attention to anything I write, on purpose, or he doesn't know the language very well.

Recently was told by a kinkster that I don't know what BDSM is. That's alright, for I have also been told by atheists, Muslims, and Catholics that I don't know what a Christian is. It all works out the same.

People who have never been what they detest without proper investigation and study, or what they think they already are witout proper investigation and study, have no basis for judging what a person who really is that thing believes.

Yes. I went there, Catholics. Don't make me whip out the secular history of your religion and smite you with it's truths. Yet, I don't say it's only Catholics, by any means. It's just that it happens to be a very kinky religion and, therefore, springs to mind, first and foremost, when discussing things pertaining to this site.

Now, he had 30 years experience in BDSM, he said. 30 years of experience at playing with other people, having kinky fun, meeting with people and being hurt by them. So, he had 30 years experience "in the lifestyle", but, the lifestyle was not BDSM. 

He also told me that is not a dating site and CM is only a dating site, but, that they are for exactly the same activities, otherwise.  CM is not a community, is a community. CM is for meeting people you want to share your fetishes with, while is about sharing your BDSM experiences with, but, not for sharing your fetishes with. There is nowhere on where it is about meeting people, don't you know?

It makes me wonder if he has actually read any writing on either site, perhaps explored groups or forums, etc. 

I told him to look up and pretty much left it at that. It's written in pretty big letters that this is a BDSM community, and it is written nowhere that BDSM and fetish play are exactly the same thing, so, please use this site only to find kinky sex partners.

.. it's purpose should be self evident. .  If you are into fetish play, there's a place to commune with your kind. If you are into BDSM, here's a place to commune with your kind. 

Obviously, some things intersect, in that some people are really into owning other people, but, also have specific fetishes or they are amused to own people with specific fetishes, and some people really want to be owned but also have specific fetishes, and then, of course, they do belong on both sites, but, there is still usually an emphasis on one over the other. The one that is most important to you should help you determine where you belong.

I had also suggested Alt.com to him. That's the dating site! It's all about meeting people with your kinky desires and hooking up with them. Which, that is what  he was looking for. 

If you want a hook up, nothing else, then you shouldn't be invading a community. Remember, every whore on a street corner thinks that whoring is what street corners are for. The city planners, crossing guards, school children, residents of the neighborhood, they usually think it is for something much different.

It doesn't matter that 20 whores say it is for whoring. It doesn't make them right just because they seek to subvert the corner's purpose. The corner is meant for the purpose it was built, and it is meant to be used by the people who live in the community. That's why whores  get asked to leave.

Yes, kinksters. I went there. All of you are whores, or worse: whores that are too stupid to get paid! If you want to be whores and sluts, who are just out looking for sex, that's your call. Only, you should be doing it on a 'whores and sluts, out looking for sex" community, not a BDSM community.

BDSM is primarily about living by one's nature, strategic relationship building, owning and being owned, and the mental connection that develops between the owner and the owned. It doesn't matter how many times you stand on the corner and yell that you believe it is otherwise. If you do not believe this, you are no part of BDSM and are not fit to judge.

The main thing wrong with the people on this site is a dire lack of imagination. There are so many variables on what could be a workable situation. You have to be willing to think beyond "normal".

Building an Umbrella: 

First of all, notice the shape of an umbrella. The  "hood" spreads out and a lot of area is covered under it. What is covered under it, however, is not actually a part of the umbrella, but, what the umbrella is used to protect.

At the top of the umbrella, there is one sturdy piece, out of which several less sturdy pieces radiate and to which they are attached. Each is solidly embedded in the stronger piece, but, each also has its own point, at the end.

The top piece also makes up the beginning of a larger section that runs all the way down, so that, from top to bottom, it is the central part, which makes the umbrella hold together, fold and open, lock and unlock, and easy to handle, through those parts which are added to help it with its functioning.

Between each rib, there is much good, useful material and it is this useful material which makes the umbrella truly work in protecting what it is set over. Yet, without the central piece, and the things attached to it, the material would be of no real worth in protecting much at all.

In a BDSM relationship, the dominant is the central piece of the umbrella. S-types are the ribs, devices and tools and rules are the locks  and handle. The material is what the s-types bring to the relationship. What is underneath is whatever they choose to make of their lives together, in private.

In the context of describing BDSM as an umbrella, it must be noted that while many things may be acceptable to be part of that private life, the material must be that which, along with the strength of the central piece,, helps the umbrella perform its primary function.

The central part of BDSM is made of bondage (ownership), discipline (learning, teaching, control, self control), sadism (owning slaves) and masochism (submitting to being a slave). If you are not interested in owning or being owned, you are not interested in BDSM.

The ribs, which attach to the central piece are the variations of theme by which the ownership, discipline, slavery and mastery may be accomplished, such as 'old fashioned wedding', 'live in", "actual plantation style usage', "1950's household", "Gorean" "Old Guard", etc.

The material that covers over things is, obviously, all about keeping things safe, sane and consensual. Umbrellas are to protect, and the BDSM umbrella must be filled up, regardless of what sort of lifestyle one leads into from the central core of BDSM, with things that are safe, sane and consensual, so as to best protect both slave and owner.

if you are seeking abuse, to abuse, just pain, sexual use or misuse, then you are not interested in being safe, sane and consensual (remember it is "and" not "or"), and, therefore, have no part in the world of BDSM.

Yes, BDSM is an umbrella, metaphorically, in that it can encompass a great deal within it. Yes, a pain slut who wishes to be owned can find their place under that umbrella, as can a whore, a Christian, an atheist, a virgin who wishes so to remain, and many other persons who are many different things. 

They can only fit under the umbrella, though, once they have constructed the umbrella through wishing to own or be owned, accepting that it is their nature to be so, and building up their understanding and the good materials that they can bring to the relationship, so as to make sure they and their chosen partner are safe, are sane and that what will transpire is something that will be consensual, for the sake of owning and being owned within a loving relationship built through strategic thinking  and natural inclination.

Those who have an editing streak, and a desire to be helpful, are welcome to make suggestions that will, perhaps, help with clarity.

In some ways, I shouldn't blame you little s-types who think it is more shameful to be put to use as a real slave than used for sexual or other forms of greed. You are, after all a product of your environment, and your environment, for most of you, tells you that slavery is shameful and that free sex is the same thing as freedom.

However, your environment is what has not been working for you what you need something different than to be able to be free to be yourself, and what you are trying to shake.

So, knock off the "vanilla" thinking and figure your shite out. Do you want to a slave or a sex worker? If the former, we might have use for each other. If the latter, I suggest you move to Nevada and do it legally. Yeah, you can get on your knees all day there, even let people whip you, and find plenty of clients who will let you call them Mistress or Master. Or, you can find plenty of people to be clients for, who will do the same, if you want to pay them, instead.

I have room in my life for slaves, or friends, or even something that's both; and maybe for one very special man, who shares my religious beliefs and moral outlook, to marry. I have no use for sex workers, no matter what title they call themselves. Don't hate them, just, don't need them or want them. That's MY lifestyle. If you don't agree with it, don't be a part of it.

Seriously, what is the point of writing to someone you have obviously not paid attention to the wants or needs of, which they did take the time to express in their writing; make demands of them which have nothing to do with the way they wish to live; and then act shocked and judgmental because they don't want  what you are offering? 

If it is important enough to write about it is important enough to read about first! 

Then, there are other things (referring to a post I made a few down from here, regarding neighbors and such).

Like, how I have a Bissell Little Green Clean Machine, which someone removed the bristles on. It was still working, though, until someone cut the cord off of it. Now, I could probably get the cord replaced, if I had the money, but, I don't. 

I have an old mixer that I got very cheap at a thrift store. The new counterparts to it cost over $100. It worked like a dream. Until someone stole the detachable cord for it. 

In both cases, this was not related to my inability to take care of myself or in making good choices of what to buy. It was someone else's greed and thoughtlessness that caused the problems.

Just like the broken handle on my vacuum cleaner, which occurred when I was out of town. I may be able to fix that, though.

The holes in the doors and walls in this house that I want to fix up occurred before the house was purchased by a member of my family. Yet, when a potential slave comes over to see me, and they are allowed to see the house, they make assumptions about lack of self-control, because the holes are there. They also make assumptions about how I choose to live my life and the sort of surroundings I prefer, instead of listening to me when I say that the house is one I can take over and fix up, and that I have already put several thousand dollars worth of work into it, but, I have no truck to haul things away, I have Fibromyalgia and not much work hours, so my resources are extremely limited, etc.

Look up Fibromyalgia, some time. It is not something you can "wait to get better" before you live your life the way you want to live it. It's like the government- it causes a lot of pain, wears you down, puts a lot of constraints upon you, but, you learn to live around those constraints and have a life, despite its bets efforts to prevent same.

People are often giving me advice that I should wait to seek out slaves until I have my "shit together". Uhm .. why? One waits for luxury, until one gets one's life together and can afford more than enough. When one can only afford enough or less, one foregoes luxury and seeks the things in life that can make one's life better.

A slave is not a luxury item, unless it is a plaything. I wouldn't want just a plaything as a slave, even if I had billions of dollars. How gross! Slaves are human beings and humans are made to work, to share their lives with other humans, and to be productive. Slaves should be even more sharing and more productive, and they should enable their owners to be the same.

Most of what is best about BDSM is not about money or what the walls look like, anyway. It is about the sharing, the leading and following, and all the beautiful things of minds united in the common cause of living lives governed by our true natures.

My true nature, among other things, enjoys the challenge of gathering materials, making plans, achieving goals. It is all about dumpster diving, Craig's List free "for sale" items, improvising, adapting overcoming, avant garde decor, spicy food, singing odd ditties and dancing in the rain. I love to build and change things, and make them my own -you included. Coincidentally, this usually means bringing out their beauty or adding beauty to them, while keeping them just as functional, if not more, than they were before. 

A marble palace would mean nothing to me . An adobe hut that we built together would mean everything. To look at a wall and know that our hands raised it up, to look at a painting and know that one or more of us created it and inspired its creation, to eat a meal and know that we grew the vegetation within it, would be far better than just the spending of money earned. 

In practicality, probably money would also have to be spent. You know what I mean, though.

Reality check boys: 

If you are not one of Jehovah's Witnesses, do not respect them and understand them and agree with them at least, then there will never be romance between us. If there is no romance, there is no marriage. if there is no marriage, there is no sex.

That does not mean I would not own you, train you in some way for some sort of monetary or non-monetary compensation, or etc. It means I have different standards for what I will own versus what I will elevate to the most important person in my life.

For you little scam artists, who like to lie, be aware: I do ask questions and do not just accept the word of random strangers on a site where most are known to be scam artists, liars, users or shallow players.

I like communes, that have a strong leader and aren't prone to drinking kool-aid, announcing that the leader is a deity, or gathering up guns and threatening other people. You know, the sort of place where one person decides the activities (the big stuff, anyway) and the other people join them in doing those activities or follow their directions. Where people can be trusted to do what is necessary, to do it well, and to consider the greater good of the whole or at least the greater good and wishes of their leader.

Some place for being comfortable in one's own skin, reveling in the joy of nature and the  small comforts of man, where gardens grow, and water awaits your swimming pleasure; where meals are prepared and eaten together, and where everyone is encouraged in their work, whether they work in an office, are an artist, at Wal-Mart, or wherever in whatever capacity. Even the ones who elect, and are allowed, to stay home and attend to the others who earn the income.

My future home is not large, but, the yard is a decent size, and it is a fine place to start with a few people There would need to be a privacy wall, so that the neighbors can keep their prying eyes and loud voices to themselves, and we can dance nude in the moonlight, garden in the raw, or skinny dip in the pool if we are so inclined.

Of course, that would mean there would also need to be a garden and a pool!  lol It is the bones I have now, of what could be a small oasis, away from the world.

Later, perhaps we'd find something bigger and better suited, depending on how many came to live with us. In fact, there is a place, already, that I might be able to use, which is in a small town ,and it is a big house with a rather large yard, which could be suitable for many people to live such a life together. Again, it would need a privacy wall, garden, pool, and actually much more repair than this little place in Tucson, but, what of it? If you have the hands and the will, you can accomplish much!

Here's the thing. I live in the sort of neighborhood where you have to lock your tools up if you want to keep them, and where even what seem to be the best of neighbors can turn out to be freaks, in a heartbeat. 

Now, my neighbor, who I had some deals going with, whereby he got something he wanted and i got something I wanted, for the house that is both my dream and the current bane of my existence, decided he'd rather screw me over on some other deal he says he made with me, but, which is not the actual deal we made.

To wit, he asked me to help him sell this iolite vaporizing system on Craig's List. He told me the minimum amount he'd take and said if I could sell it for at least that much, he'd give me $20 for my efforts. That was our agreement. Then, he asked my son, later, if he would want it, and told me if it worked for what my son smokes then we could just keep it, instead, for the money he owes me, which, coincidentally, is exactly the minimum amount he would take, minus $20.

It's actually quite nice, but, my son tried it and it does not work for him. So, I took it back to the neighbor and told him so and told him that i'd still help him sell it on Craig's List. At which point, he started freaking out on me about how I was going back on the deal and he'd never do that to me, and how I still owe him $20  to meet the minimum price.

Then, they started doing stuff like smoking marijuana outside when the wind is blowing directly toward my house, because they know i am allergic to it. And, they had previously borrowed my rake and pruning shears (2 of the 3 that came in the set) which they were allegedly going to use on their yard and then on mine, but, now they won't give me the tools back so that I can use them.

What's the point of me telling you this? Well, because this is the sort of shite that happens in my life. The first time i moved into the house, the neighbors on the other side of the house broke in and stole several lap tops, most of the food, and they did it 5 or 6 times, stealing everything worth anything and some things that were nothing.
Some of the stuff they stole were my tools that i had then, and some stuff that my dad gave me to fix the crack in the shower floor.  As a result, I could not get things done and the house was thrashed all the time. 

Eventually, I moved out of the house, but, there were relatives living in it, and some of their friends, and we tried it with various people, but, they never kept the place clean or took care of anything. Several different variations of people were tried and the result was always the same. This is a house in my sister's name, though, so i really had no control over what went on.

Now, the house is empty, except me and my son are over here a lot, and now my son is sleeping in the house. I fixed quite a few things there, made a deal with the neighbors for yard work,and have made a great deal of progress - with very limited funds - on fixing the place up.

Yet, for some reason, when people are judging me as to whether I am dominant or not, whether I can take care of myself or not, they are judging me by the criminal activity of other people, the slovenly behavior of other people, and the lack of income that is a direct result of a bad economy which, literally, millions of people are suffering from. Oh, and for having paid my child support payments , having helped homeless people, having fed pregnant starving women, etc. 

i don't need to be judged. I don't need someone who is going to want to offer me worthless pampering when I am trying to clean up, fix up, and secure a house so that i can have a home. 
I need someone who can build or buy a storage shed, put in a hard day's work, and who wants to be a part of helping other people and helping me do things around the house that I cannot do, so that I do not have to hire people or make deals with neighbors, so that I don't have to be in a situation where, potentially, I am going to be ripped off.

Someone who likes rules, discipline, fun times, and really wants to be a slave. I have enough users in my life, enough people who want something for nothing. We all do. Let's make something where it is about us and where it is about bettering, first, our lives and, then, the lives of others. 

And, whether you want it or not, stop judging me and adding to my troubles by being annoying. Just because someone is dominant does not mean they can make their neighbors not be liars or make the cops do their job. We are not super heroes. We lead those who wish to be lead, but, we are just human beings, like everyone else, and, like everyone else, prone to being  ripped off, raped stabbed, or whatever other bad things happen as well as being listened to, helped out, helping others and all the good things that happen.

This is real life. Enter in or stay out. Don't stand at the entryway, sneering! 

What are you scared of? You know what should frighten you? Leave you kneeling before that someone looming, trembling in the flesh and shaken to the core? 

Self discovery.

Everything else is safe enough.

If it's not, then, you've chosen quite poorly.

Oh my God: the journal entry of a 23 year old girl;

"yayyyyyyyy!!!!! i'm going to do it.  on friday afternoon at 3pm a couple i met through will pick me up, blindfold me and drive.....

i've been instructed me pack 2 sets of matching panties & bras, 2 white tees, two pairs of shorts, 1 sweatshirt, overnight accessories and nothing else (no phone, jewelry, scrunchies, flip flops, stuff i would always bring with me).

i return on sunday night and will give you all the details....... i can't wait.

(yes, i trust them, we've met up 6 times so far....... :) :) :)"

So, of course, I wrote to her and tore her a new arse for being an idiot. Yet, if she makes it home alive, she'll probably think it proves she was correct in her actions. 

Safe,, sane and consensual, people! The first word is "safe" and the second word is "sane'. Those two seem to go right in one ear and out the other, around here! 

Nice. I just finished writing this lovely, long explanation of something important and i got a 404 Error. (sigh)

Fundamentals of key holding: 

You have something that is locked up. Usually it's your genitals. Doesn't have to be.

You give the key to someone to hold for you. At that point, you specify if you want them to keep it away from you for good or whether you are interested in a certain time frame or reaching a certain goal.

Then, you give them a reason to either keep the key from you or to give it to you later. That reason can come in the way of doing a certain amount of chores, performing a certain number of humiliating acts, paying a certain amount, or, in the case of them keeping it from you forever, them expecting a certain type of one or more of these kinds of services at regular intervals or as a 24/7 thing where you are at their beck and call.

It can come in the form of blackmail, too, yes. "Pay me ....  (or Do this ...) or I send the key to your wife at her place of work and tell her what it's for.", Though, that necessarily involves other people and that's actually quite rude to them. 

The point is, whatever you do for them, it keeps them holding onto the key in the manner in which you hope that they will do for you. 

This is called TPE aka: total power exchange. If you only send them the key, but, give them no form of service outside of saying words at them in a tedious manner, or only doing things you enjoy doing, there is no exchange of power, now, is there?  

Likewise, if they demand you do the work or pay the money, and yet, just working or paying money is not a big thrill for you and you need something else to feel owned or properly used /useful, this is not an exchange, but, is all one-sided in their favor.

Now, with a slave, it is quite possible that TPE is that they do the work or pay the payments and so are serving and by being allowed to serve are both being useful and given a feeling of being owned all at the same time, by their own actions. This is why slaves are so very lovely and should be cherished as the wonders of nature that they are. Sadly, few of them exist, as they are actually dominant people who are fulfilling their own desire to serve and there are few truly dominant people in the world. Still, some submissives have enough dominance to fit the bill.

If you ask me to be your keyholder, you will be referred to this and you will have to decide what you mean by that and what you are going to offer as incentive. If you are long distance, unless you own an art studio or publishing house, or something else of equal worth to my life, it will almost certainly be in the form of money, because, you can't trim my trees or fix the swamp cooler from there!  If you can't make a decent offer, that results in both of us getting something we want or need, then don't bother making any offer at all.

Okay, I was leaving this site again. Then, I decided I would prefer to change my life in other ways, just now. 

I am open to friendship, respectful and old-fashioned romantic entanglement (only with a strong man who loves God and is weird enough for me to understand and be understood by), general companionableness, and, of course, owning a slave. 

Still, not having sex with anyone I am not in love with and married to. That has not and will not change. Thank you for understanding.

I'm leaving the site again. If you are someone I have enjoyed talking to or if we have some definitely unfinished business, I am rough_elegance on Twitter. Do not approach me with any silly Mistress, Goddess, or even Ma'am talk there, though, or I will block you.

Quote from the profile of a domme: "I am a lifestyle Domme looking for slaves... Looks are not as important to me as willingness to serve and attitude.

This is about a lot more than me just telling you what to do in bed-- or spanking you. But you should know that already...."

Good profile, that! 

Another thing, boys: What is with wanting to do "demeaning" chores such as washing dishes, changing diapers, vacuuming a floor, ironing, and other things that women have been doing for decades, if not thousands of years? 

They are not demeaning! They are helpful. Going around, insulting the sex that has done the majority of them, in every land where they are done, throughout the history of the known world, and acting as if you are being dehumanized by merely acting half as useful as a decent old-fashioned wife, is not any part of being submissive. The more you allegedly revere the females of your society, the less you should view their contributions throughout history as being nothing but a form of punishment for them.

I happen to like doing those things; just not for men who look down on me for doing them. Which means, I wouldn't want you in my house, since you, the alleged submissive slave would sit in judgment of me for daring to still be a woman while being a dominant.

Screw you! 

I want a man (or woman) slave who can be helpful in completing the housework, paying the bills, making the house more of a slave-friendly environment that suits my needs for privacy from the neighbors, furthering my art and writing as a means of stress relief and income, etc.  That may include, at times, the slave doing all of some or all of all of those things; but, then again, it may not. That depends on how life is going for me, and what the slave's capabilities are, and how many others are involved.

If you view housework as a punishment, rather than as a means of being useful and helpful, we will not get along. 

I wish you people would get over yourselves. I am dominant, not just dominating. I do have my weaknesses, but, being a weak-kneed, craven slut who can be bought for money is not one of them. And, it certainly is not two of them. (grin)

I am more or less asexual, unless I am in love. All my sexuality is focused toward one man. If it ever becomes focused toward another, it will be because it is him that I love.

Random flesh is not for sexual use or misuse, but I will use it for my amusement, for your instruction, and for your punishment.

I will show you fear in a handful of dust - T.S. Eliot 

Don't confuse BDSM with fetish play. Don't confuse slavery with sex.

BDSM is about truth and strategy, fetish play is about escapism and, often, pretending to be something you are not. Slavery is about work and obedience. Sex is about inciting lust and using flesh

I shall attempt to explain financial service/servitude to you, again, as most of you seem to be using your ass for a hat and it appears to be negatively affecting your thinking abilities.

Financial service is ANYTHING that involves money. It is not cruel, all encompassing, about draining a man's resources dry, blackmailing, tricking people into spending money or trading money for my services to you. It is also not paying your fair share of the rent and utilities.   It is if you pay for lunch, go and fetch me something without expecting gas money, buy me any presents, pay a bill in full or in part, willingly give me a voluntary gift of money as a one-off, a few times or even at regular intervals. It can be very dear and costly, or it can be very simple and relatively inexpensive. 

Financial servitude is where you are my slave and I own whatever income you earn, minus whatever we have agreed upon for you to keep for your survival. I do not require this of all slaves, as my goal is not to be a parasite. Some slaves want it this way, though, and I am willing to accommodate them so long as part of their slave duties are to manage their income and pay their taxes. I will not take over a bank account. I will not accept power of attorney over a slave.

Now, here is where things seem to go very badly: a potential slave will write to me and ask me what my financial demands are, what tribute I must have, or some variation thereof. I do not have a pat answer, except to tell all potential slaves that I could not possibly tell them specifics without knowing more about them, what they have and what they need for themselves.

For some reason, most of you (who have contacted me in the manner above) think that this answer is less honest, and more money grubbing, than the people who say they need $2,500 per month or $100 per week, no matter what. Why do you do this? Ass-hat'itis, I'm guessing!

People who say they need a specific amount are looking for people to pay their bills. People who are not looking for a specific amount, but, who are taking your needs into consideration are people who are interested in using your finances as part of your enslavement, the TPE that binds you together. 

I don't say I need to know more about you so that I can gouge the maximum amount out of you. I say that I need to know more about you, because, maybe, I would want you to serve even if you had very little to give in that way. Maybe I'd take you, even if it meant the inconvenience of having you be live in so that the income you earned for me could be put to better use than it is being put to now.

It is purely insane to think that the person who actually wants to know information about your needs, your mindset, and your abilities is the one who is less trustworthy as compared to the one who only wants you if you can provide a specific amount.

Take your asses off your head, open your eyes and ears, and think for once! 

Today, someone posted a comment on a FB photo and asked if I've been losing weight. So, I must be doing something right! 

Was supposed to be going out to my parents house, with the little pregnant girl that's been hanging around, but, she has not come back this week. She called, once or twice, and talked to my son, so I know she is alive; but, think she is still smarting from when I made her leave, before. 

Pity, as there is someone of my acquaintance who was interested in the possibility of her serving him, in a way that would have been mutually beneficial for all three of us. Not something I am going to discuss with her over the phone, though. I don't even know how she would take such an idea.

I am not into extremes. Of course, what is extreme to one person may be mild to another, so to better define it, let me say that I might whip you for fun but not for hatred or dehumanization, and I prefer to be on a friendly level with those who serve me with occasional bouts of harder work or harder play, rather than using them up.

Do not bother writing to me, to tell me that you want to serve me and are willing to move to Tucson. Either prove it by actually moving to Tucson and then getting in touch with me, in which case I'll believe you and you'll have already proven yourself to a great degree, or, figure out how to serve me from there.

Hint: If it involves the torture of your cock, or it's pleasure, it's not service to me, but it is service to you.

Someone who wants to be defiant and get broken down and forced into things is not a submissive or a slave. I don't know what they are! But, I do know what they are not. Probably, they are confused dominants. 

Uh huh  You're so good at oral? You believe in female supremacy? You love women? You know how to make a woman moan and beg, and submit? Really?

Explain the clitoris to me. I already know most of you, even the medical doctors, can't; because, it isn't what most of you think it is.
Tell me the top three ways to turn most any woman on.

Tell me the #1 reason why most women want money from men.

Explain to me the difference between what stress does to women as opposed to what it does to men, in general.

Define the difference between manly domination of women and womanly domination of men.

That's a start. If you get any of it right, I might just believe you are at least trying. I don't know anyone male who has or can get all of it right, though; and, not too many females, for that matter.

"Submission is a gift not a prize. 
Control is a state of mind not a contest of will.
To submit is to trust.
To surrender is to trust completely.
Power exchange is only as real as it appears to be"

Your worth does not revolve around what others think, Your worth is what you put in yourself and know in your heart.

That's for a friend of mine to think on, should he read my journal. Feel free to think on it, yourself, even if we are not friends, though. The point is that you read it, write to yourself about what it means to you or what it reminds you of from your own life (always writing in a positive way) and then share what you have written, if you want to, with other people who are also doing the same.

To me, right now, it means that I am reveling in the noticed fact that my legs are changing. In a way, they look kind of weird and gross, because they are just starting to get a more defined knee area back; but, I love it, because I know why they look that way and so I really don't care for other people's opinions about my knees.

I've been doing a great deal of exercise at the swimming pool, every week, for a while now. I have lost around 25-30 lbs without suffering in any form, have enriched my life with new acquaintances, and I have earned my more defined knee area, and I am very, very proud of it. 

Look, I could give you a list of absolutes, without knowing you, but, it would be very convoluted and full of statements with words like "only along with" and "unless" or "except in case of".

See, BDSM is about strategic relationships. Strategy is about planning, and trying to get the best advantage and relationships are about two or more persons. Take the two words together and it means it is not all about me, nor is it all about you, but, it is about both of us knowing more or less what we need, want and will put up with and seeing if each of us has enough to give the other to make it worth our while to spend some time together.

It doesn't have to be love, permanent, based on mutual affection even. It just has to be based on actual abilities and mutual consent.

So, absolutely true: http://www.xtranormal.com/watch/8325689/the-meeting 

The video is highly representational of what most often goes on in conversations and you need to understand that is what most women are dealing with, sometimes for several hours a day! 

Yes, I mean it. It is actually an under-exaggeration of the way most men on this site act!

I:

Am more inclined toward fun than fury

Love God and do my best to follow His lead

Prefer DIY to purchased luxury, most times

Enjoy quiet things, such as walks, swimming, reading, writing, painting, drawing, people watching.

Occasionally enjoy loud things, such as music to clean by, dancing, singing odd songs at weird times, having inappropriate conversations in front of strangers.

Believe in behavior modification, corporal punishment, military-like discipline, time out, corner time, consequences, reward/punishment, hypnosis, brain-washing techniques to achieve desired goals - especially as relates to behavior and health.

Believe in being fair, allowing reasonable limits and needs for slaves, only punishing  where offense has occurred, informed consent, an owner's right to use their property as they see fit within the bounds of what is legal and moral to themselves.

Never pay for anything related to your service, and if you are a slave with enough earning power, I never pay for anything else either. 

Never take the income from my slave's without their full consent and understanding of the nature of our agreement.

Am in love and have no interest in being with another man sexually.

Don't believe that everything physical or pleasurable is sexual.

Feel happier when you are caged, sitting at my feet, kissing my feet, begging to give me a gift, happily working away at your task, or are being used for my own personal amusement.

Need people in my life to react to; not necessarily to agree with, use, be used by, be equals with. How they fit into my life can vary, but, I need them to truly be what I am. I am not into large crowds, but, I am into people.

Am your atypical absent-minded professor, at times, and have the cluttered environment to prove it; but, am willing to allow you to help me make it otherwise.

Have no interest in a slave who will "do it all", for I am capable, willing and happy to do some of it, and the slave doing any of it will be as a helper, only, in most cases.

Believe that pain play, cold water treatments, restrictions of speech, sensory deprivation, cage time, odd bouts of only being allowed to walk on your knees for the evening, and such as that can be very instructive and lead to you being a better person.

Am an artist, and, as such, am inspired rather than motivated.

You:

Just read all that about me and understood, enough.

Have some sort of income (at least enough to pay your way)

Respect other people's religious beliefs, political stances, lifestyle choices.

Love people, especially the weird ones.

Are slightly in awe of artists, or, at least, their art.

Would love to help build and create, including yourself.

Believe that the pleasure of serving the needs of another is more important than serving the sexual desires of yourself.

Are ready to give your all to the one who will accept you for yourself

Prefer to be treated fairly to cruelly, but, will forgive cruelty should it occur on occasion.

Want to be disciplined, so as to learn more about yourself and to be a stronger person.

Will keep your cock, mouth and ass to yourself, unless directed to do otherwise, realizing that you are only a slave and not worthy to be the lover of your Mistress.

Are happy to be yourself or at least wish to be.

Love to be helpful.

Prefer DIY to pre-packaged luxury and are secretly thrilled by thrift shops, garage sales, dumpsters packed full, junk yards and fixer-upper homes.

Want to be a slave, fit for good work and companionship, rather than a sex toy, pain slut or dehumanized thing.

If this is close to true, if this thrills you to read, we might have something to discuss.

People are motivated by our needs. Figure out what our needs are and then we discover ourselves.

You know.. what's wrong with a good old-fashioned relationship, wherein you show up on schedule, do your chores; show up on schedule, spend the afternoon being flogged and spanked; show up on schedule, drive me to where i need to go; show up on schedule, take me shopping with an agreed upon limit? Maybe you have to rearrange your house, change your dressing style, learn a few rules and protocols. Nothing too fancy, nothing too restrictive for either. Just enough to have fun!

Why does it have to be so hard?

(sigh) There are two people I know of who are worth talking to, who are continuing to talk to me, on this site. Neither of them are at all the same as coming anywhere close to finding a proper slave. As per usual, just going to the grocery store or the swimming pool gets me closer! 

Do you see Female Supremacy on my interest list? Take a hint!  As I recently told someone (during an inappropriate conversation in front of strangers, as it turns out): There are some women who are supreme, and some men who are supreme. The majority of either, however, are mindless, boring chuckle-heads. 

If you want a self-delusional woman who has such low self-esteem that she cannot admit that she has flaws but still love herself anyway, go find one. It's not me.

Quote from a profile. Please read and consider amongst yourself, regarding each activity: is it safe, is it sane, is it consensual? 

Seeking no rights no limits slavery situation 

caged

CASTRATED

toilet

beaten

collared

leash

humiliation

Female Supremacy

Eunuch service

24/7 no release slavery please.

Me, personally, I can see 6 different things on the list (though some are really repeats of the same desire but in different words) which would not qualify as safe or sane, and which would not be consensual past a certain point.

Then, there is this: BDSM is about forming strategic relationships that are mutually beneficial for all parties concerned.

How are the fulfilling of his desires beneficial for him? Or, for the person who would fulfill most of them, for that matter? How will it make either a better person, draw them closer together, imbue them with inner strength, make them more comfortable, give them ease so that they may find their life an oasis away from the cloying norms of an uptight society?

If it is not safe or sane, and it isn't consensual to a great degree, and it is something that would make one less fit as a person, instead of more, then how could it possibly be BDSM?

BDSM is about using strategy to develop safe, sane, consensual relationships that fulfill your needs, at least enough of your needs. 

I've seen very little of it displayed on this site.

Things from an old profile (obeyWORKlisten): 

And, some from the journal entries: 

"well reasoned and loving discipline"

looking after "spiritual growth and physical needs" of they who submit to guidance and fulfilment.

"There is a huge difference between punishment inflicted out of anger and cruelty by one person overpowering another, and discipline that is meted out with love and reason, gratefully and willingly received. "

"We believe that a man can adopt a submissive and servile role and allow his wife to dominate him sexually, if it is absolutely clear that outside of the bedroom, the husband is the spiritual head of the marriage. "

FYI, a man choosing to allow a woman to bind him with rules is still capable of being the spiritual head of the marriage, even if it is beyond just sex, because he has chosen that it should be so - she has not forced him or tricked him into it. And, if it is not marriage, there is no admonition that the man must, in any way, be the head of anything. He can willingly submit as a slave or servant for any woman where their lifestyles are compatible.

The above are concepts and ideas, some are quotes taken from another site, related to BDSM as can be healthfully practiced by Christians.

Keep in mind, practising BDSM is not like practicing Druidsm or Buddhism, where one must necessarily incorporate teachings which conflict with the Holy Scriptures. It is more like practising vegetarianism; a movement toward a more healthy lifestyle, eschewing the crap that, in modern day, passes for nourishment and acting more in tune with nature.
Nature, darlings, not animalistic instinct. It is the nature of man to rise above the animals, to think, to love, to have rules and regulations, to own and be owned, to serve and be served. And, of course, to cultivate.

I love Jehovah and I have no room in my life for those who would insult me for this love or who would seek to turn me away from it; but, I do have room in my life for those who can respect this love and the practices that stem from it and serve me in a manner that reflects respect, if not admiration, for same.

You should understand that and if you are not one who can do this, you should go on your way to find what will work for you. Whereas, if you understand it and can embrace such a life, where there are definite BDSM practices but not where it is about "dark desires'" or shameful practices, then, perhaps, you should contact me. 

There is no sense in contacting me unless you think you might want to be a part of my life. It wastes your time and mine.

Some persons have expressed their opinion that my going to the Tuesday night cheap movies is a sign of a lack of dominance, even more so if I tell them to take me there. 
Well, which part of enjoying the spice of life that is sweet anticipation and exerting self control, as well as thinking of the bigger picture and what is worth spending that extra money on and what is not, then abstaining from excesses when they will not please one as well as leading potential slaves into a mind-set of thrifty indulgences over waste sounds out of control to you? 

You need to learn to use your mind to think,  consider, extrapolate information from surrounding persons and habitats in whatever way it is possible, and to act based on as close to accurate knowledge as possible. That's why you have it, in the first place. It's not just a place to store information on pornos, sports statistics and video game scores! 

Are you in Tucson or are you able to be so, within a matter of days?

Are you contacting me because you have read my journal and know you want me to consider you for service?

Do you know what skills and finances you have available for service?

If the answer to any of these questions is no, do not contact me.

Understand, I am seeking real slaves, as in you will not make up the rules, I will not modify my life to please you but you will modify your life to suit my needs and I will brook no limits or demands past basic health and safety concerns (which will include protection from social suicide).

Okay, try this on for size: 

You are a middle-management sort of fellow, or maybe even just the guy who delivers mail around to the various offices. Your hair cut is staid, your clothes are off the rack and ill-fitting, you need to lose a few lbs or gain a few lbs or at least learn how to dress so the lbs that you have are shown to better effect, and generally your life is lived in a haphazard fashion. It's always a mini-horror festival getting out of the door on time in the morning, because it takes you forever to find something clean and unwrinkled to wear, and your casual clothes are basic t-shirt or sweatshirt and jeans. Your place is a jumble of belongings, and you eat out or get take out a lot because you feel like you just don't have time to do all that cooking and cleaning, or maybe you don't even know how to cook.And, of course, you have this secret urge to be dominated by women, but, you're scared to get involved with someone who wants to take over every aspect of your life or who demands exorbitant sums of money without giving you any clear indication of what you will be receiving in return. It's not even just about the sex, though you're pretty sure you'd like that to, its that you have this constant aching need to serve, to be ordered about. to be whipped .. when someone gives you a little swat on the behind, you wish for more; if you're with a girl and she tells you to do something you ask "Is that an order?" with rising hope, and then you get crushed by falling back into disappointment, because either she tells you no, it's not, and she's not like that or she says yes, but, you know its just a joke to her. It doesn't matter what it is. It could be that she told you to hand her a pen or take out the trash.

BUT ... 

You have your day job, you have your family, your friends, your hobbies and while you might be willing to change some things in your life, in fact you know you need to change some things, you are not willing to give that all up. You NEED normalcy. Maybe you have a religion that you belong to, which you would like to honor and try to follow, but, you don't know how to balance that with these feelings that you have.

Maybe you've gone to a pro domme and she's given you a taste of something that makes you want more, but you can't afford to keep paying her all that money and you don't feel that connection with her that you know you need, and it is not actually helping you because spending all that money in that way just makes your life harder and you still aren't really serving anyone.

Enter the dominant female. She might be 5 foot tall, 4'2", 6'4", 5' 7; she might weigh 380 lbs, 250 lbs, 170 lbs, 110 lbs, 98 lbs, 89 lbs; she might have size 12 feet, size 10, size 8, size 5; she might be long haired, short haired, multicolored and multilengthed punk haired, red-headed, shaggy, blonde, brunette, sporting a giant afro; she might be Asian, African, Ukrainian, white American, hispanic American, black American, black British, mixed, fully Celtic or something else altogether; she might be rich, poor or middle class; she might be a messy bessy or a neat nora in her non-slave-owning state; she might be a granola chomping au naturel hippy living off the grid,  a sophisticated worldly woman who lives in the upper atmosphere of society, a 9-5'er like you and like you her life might lack pizzazz because it is hard to fit BDSM desires and "normal" life together, a bored housewife who has decided to act on her own whims for a change, a Nun who has a desire for the old days when corporal punishment was still allowed .. she could be anything else, in any walk of life, at any age, by any looks, and none of it matters. She is dominant.

Sweeping into your life one day, because you invited her, she was walking down the street one day and spotted yours submissive needs splattered like gore in the wake of your passing, or for whatever other reason she has for sweeping in and she takes a good look at you, at your surroundings, and says "Oh yes! This will have to change!" Before you can protest, she then announces "But, we'll worry about that next week. For now, you are needed elsewhere. Come along." and she walks out, expecting you to follow.

You follow and she leads you to a truly nasty apartment, that makes yours look like Mr. Clean is your roommate. "You may begin with taking out the trash that's piled up." she tells you. You look and there is an overflowing garbage can, stacks of pizza boxes beside it and several leaky looking garbage bags of varying sizes and fullnesses nearby. 

"Are you freaking kidding me?" you ask her. "This is disgusting!" 

"Hmm .. imagine that!" she quips. "Me wanting someone to clean up something disgusting, instead of leaving it there to offend me further." 

"Is this yours?" you demand. "Because, if this is yours...." 

"If I want someone to judge me, I'll call the courthouse. I wanted a slave, so I came to you. Do it." 

You stare at her, in disbelief. She stares back with patient amusement. 

Do you take out the trash? If not, you are dismissed. Go home and be sad about your never-changing state of lackluster survival.

If yes, then, welcome to the first step in becoming a slave.

I am becoming increasingly interested in opening up a sort of training facility for slaves and submissives. It could be used as a BDSM vacation for some, gaining experience for others, a means of getting in shape for others. Depends on their motivation. 

Something with very strict house rules, assigned times for meals and  chores, restrictions on what to eat, enforced exercise times, practice in various slave postures and actions, possibly training for increased pain tolerance, etc.

Something like Catholic Guilt's little place, but, without the more extreme use and abuse. The focus would not be on breaking people down, but, on improving their health and focus.

Dear s-types: 

If you are a male, who is interested in BBW females who do not want to have sexual intercourse with you, and you want to pleasure the various bits of their nether regions with your mouth only, and you want them to use a strap-on to ream your arse, and you want them to "force" you to perform fellatio on another man or on their strap-on, and you want to wear a chastity device around the woman at most or all times, then you should not be listing yourself as straight.

You are obviously homosexual! Yes, homosexual. Not bisexual, even, but, definitely, all the way into wanting to have sex only with men. That is why you only want women who are bigger than other women (as men tend to be), and only want ones who are willing to allow you not to engage in outright coitus with them but who are willing to mimic and facilitate you having outright sexual intercourse with men. 

This is not a site for you to hide and play your silly games upon. This is the place where you tell the world what you are and try to find someone who will fit your needs. If you are a gay man who feels he needs to hide it, so as to keep his job or his family, say so and begin seeking a dominant female (or whatever kind of female works for you) who will be glad to help you with that and tell her what you can do for her in turn. Don't make it sexual, though, because you are not someone who wants to have sex with women and it is insulting to be offered things that a man would want rather than things a woman would want. 
Or, you know, find a male "roommate" or "friend" or "mentor" that you can get all your weird gay sex and domination from in private, but, who will just seem like another guy in your life to the rest of the world, if that's your thing.

Just STOP lying and wasting the time of dominant women who have done nothing to deserve that sort of abuse! 

Mind you, I am all for heterosexuality and I would be only too glad if everyone on the planet were heterosexual and capable of chaste behavior, unable to rape or molest anyone, etc. That's just not going to happen, yet, though, and, so, while I would never encourage anyone to learn to be homosexual, I would encourage them to look at their own desires and then stop trying to conform other people, who are no part of them, to meet their desires; but, to, instead, find people who are already interested in fulfilling those desires.

I will accept one of two sorts of s-types in my life, at this time:

1) Those who believe in God, want to discipline themselves to His ways, but, are having trouble reconciling their desire for "odd" things  with their desire to live a clean Christian lifestyle. This will include daily Bible reading, quizzing, reinforcing each other's goals as regards learning moderation and cleanliness of thought; and, may include the setting of very strict rules, eating habits, schedules, the use of behavior modification techniques, and the use of a reward/punishment system. This can be live-in, long distance or living nearish-to and it can be rather casual (more as teacher/student) or rather hardcore (speech restrictions, cagings, floggings) etc. The goal is never sexual.

2) Those who simply want to engage in some mild to medium hard-core non-sexual "fetish" play, such as cages, being flogged, etc. This would not be session work, but, would be part of an on-going relationship, with agreed upon times of meeting and agreed upon service for me from you.  I have no interest in meeting strangers and being put through my paces, but, I want to know you as a person, at least to the extent of being able to trust and be trusted in these activities. Service can include financial service, servitude or play; housework; yard work; building me things and doing handyman work that I would find useful; "step and fetch it" work (or drive and fetch it, possibly); and, perhaps, more.

In either case, I will be your owner and you will be my slave for the duration of our relationship. I do not pay for anything related to slaves, ever. If they want something to be used for their discipline or pleasure, and I feel it is appropriate, then I will allow them to purchase it and give it to me as a gift, or retain it if I would rather they do that. Otherwise, they must make do with what is available. 

Some sort of financial use will always be made of my slaves, at least to the point of them fetching me things and paying for the gas, occasional presents, spur of the moment small parties,  occasional demands for$20 here or $50 there for my amusement, or other small things of that nature; and, of course, anything related to equipment or necessaries of tending to the slave. Tribute is accepted, if freely given. 
Basically, don''t expect to call yourself a slave, without putting in some effort; don't expect something for nothing.

We all have different ideas of how to live life, even within the context of having decided to join this site.

People keep making me offers that are regarding them living in deprivation, while I, their cruel Mistress, live in luxury, due to having stripped away their possessions and taken over their bank accounts. zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz zzzzzzz

I'm more the type who would make you stop at a likely looking dumpster, rescue that old broken down chair or set of chest o' drawers, and haul it back to my home, so that I could sand it down, paint it up, reupholster, or whatever else is needed. You know, to take something no one else wants, much anyway, and turn it into something unique and beloved by me. 

Which, by the way, is, most often, what I've done with the slaves I have owned. Some of whom then went on to be unique and beloved by some other owner. 

I would prefer to live in Fred Sanford's junkyard than in Donald Trump's penthouse apartment. Why? There is more freedom there. I can build, work, play, and make lovely things, to keep or to sell. It is a playhouse of the imagination, which spurs the flesh on.

Don't offer me luxury. Offer me comfort. 

Don't offer me sex. Offer me intimacy.

Don''t offer me suffering. Offer me service.

Don't offer me your pain. Offer me our pleasure.

The short version of my distinction between subs and slaves is this: 

Subs are primarily for fun, but, are sometimes also useful; slaves are to be useful,but, are sometimes also for fun. I am seeking slave.

The reason I'm not much in the mood for talking (as is witnessed by my journal entries) is that I am tired of my time being wasted. Most of the people on this site are selfish bitches, looking for other selfish bitches and seeking to get something for nothing. It is equal parts boring and disgusting, really.

I'm looking for a different mind-set than that. I have not found it. If and when I do, I will have my full time slave that I will love and wish to keep. Until then, I am willing to allow part time service, or engage in a long term relationship that revolves around only certain activities, or full time service without any sort of contract with time constraints. However, I am not willing to do anything that will disturb my own lifestyle or which will not benefit it, in some way. You won't get something for nothing, here - you'll get something for something or something for everything.

Consider whom you are speaking with, and make me an offer that is worth my time to consider. I shall not consider any that are all about your selfish needs.

Quote from old journal (RhiannonBBW). If you want to see more, go look up the profile.

Wrote this to a slave boy. Sharing it with you, in hopes it will help you understand if you should write to me or no:

The thing is, I want a normal life, with slave. When I say that to people, they think I mean I just want to be bossy and use a guy's money, or only be kinky in the bedroom; or, they think I mean that I want to force men to run around naked all the time, degrade them, and make their life a living hell and that is "normal". But, I don't mean either thing. I mean a normal life, with slave. There are plenty of examples of it in literature and movies, based on historical data, for people to learn by, but, for some reason, they do not. They learn all the abnormal Caligula slashing people up, feeding slaves to dogs, extremely abusive, kidnapping people and forcing them into the sex trade part of history but that is not what slavery was about, most of the time, Those were the aberrant bits that made people so disgusted that most of the world gave up slavery! 

Slaves are normal human beings, who happen to be forced into a job; or who willingly go into the job out of necessity; or, who are naturally predisposed to the lifestyle of a slave. And, if they are more than that - pain or sexual sluts, etc. - that is related to their moral state and desires, and the moral state and desires of their owners.  

It's frustrating talking to slaves who think that their potential owner has to cater to their whims; but, it's equally frustrating talking to the ones who think they have no right to their own feelings and thoughts. I believe it's true, mind you, up to a certain point- where there is no moral dilemma, for instance - but, I don't believe slaves have no right to say no. I believe they can say no and I would respect them for saying no to something that was against their religious beliefs, for instance. I might punish them for it, if it was something I really felt I needed, though, and felt should not be against their moral beliefs. Can't think of a good example of that, just now, but, it could conceivably come up.

That's what so many do not get. I was a slave. I said no a lot, and if I had a darned good reason, I probably wouldn't get punished. Every time I did it, though, I knew I had the right and I knew that I risked being punished for it. And, I knew that even if I did have a good excuse, I could get punished for it, just because they would be disappointed and want someone to take their frustration out on.

That's part of the normal life, with slave. It's not all agreement, or all punishment, it's just regular life where people cook and clean and eat and go to work and watch movies and all that, and sometimes have a party or spend some time in some mutually enjoyed physical activity or .. or whatever .. except that one person is definitely a slave and one person definitely is in charge. It's very comfortable, sweet and relaxing, most of the time; with an undercurrent of satisfaction and excitement. Like love, or friendship, but, not just exactly those. Sort of like parent-child relations, too; especially in the way of it being very important to both and it not being degrading that one is above the other and with only one doling out the rules and punishments and the other being subject to their whims of where to live, how to dress, etc.

Quoted from old journal entries (from RhiannonBBW):

Just to be clear: Not every aspect of a slave's desires needs to be compatible with every aspect of a potential owner's desire. What you should be looking for, as a slave, is someone who is compatible in the big things, such as letting you have your reasonable hard limits and being able to control and discipline you in a way that will actually make you feel owned. The rest - sex play, pain play, etc. - is something that can and should be compromised on, and that compromise might be that you are lent out to people who are willing to use you in certain ways that your potential owner is not interested in, or that you learn to do without them most of the time but might receive them as a reward if you give very good service for a specified amount of time.

IE: Mistress does not really wish to shove a butt plug up your wazoo, kick you in the ribs, drag you by your hair into the bathroom and piss down your throat, as it is not even remotely a turn on to her and she thinks it's kind of gross; but you feel you really need this to be a happy little slave boy. So, she says that you may earn each little aspect of it, by building her a decent living room sofa,  making her an excellent dinner for a part of five; learning how to properly wax her legs and then doing so; and, planting her a garden. Then, you do those things, to the best of your ability and she, being gracious and a woman of her word, rewards you for them by sticking things up your butt and hurting you and humiliating you in ways you enjoy, which are now definitely a reward and not just play, because you earned them and they are a gift, because she wants to give them to you or she wouldn't have made the deal, and, yet, she still has the ultimate choice as to whether she will engage in such activities, to begin with or ever again, so you are not topping from the bottom.

Or, perhaps she would say that she is definitely not going to do some of those things, but, you may earn the others and the rest you will have to go find someone else to do. 

Stop looking, in fear, for the absolutely perfect situation. None exists. Take good enough and run with it. Good enough for now, with potential to be good enough for a ways down the road. They might change, you might change, and this may not be a life long affair. Is it better to sit, alone, and dream of being owned by perfection that does not exist, or to be owned and gain experience, while learning who you are and what you really want? Think about it.

Dear Ass Bunnies A/all:

When you seek people out to abuse, humiliate, degrade, or sexually use you, this is not you providing service to them. It is them providing service to you or, possibly, both of you playing together.

When you seek to trade that sort of activity for money, that is not service or play. it is attempting to force a dominant person into being your whore.

When you are willing to accept pain, humiliation, or sexual conduct from a person that you have an established relationship with, or to be punished for refusing to accept it, because you want to please them, this is part of serving as a slave. It is not, however, what slavery is about or the activities on which such a relationship should be based.

I don't care if you think I am beautiful or gorgeous, because I am not here to trick you with my looks (or someone else's), nor am I seeking your sexual attention.

I want SERVICE, in a way that benefits us both and hopefully will benefit others, too. End of story!

Quotes from old profile (RhiannonBBW):

Quotes from an old journal entry (masterlymother):

First time-wasting ignorant message, received before I even finished my profile

You would be what i seek, except for the money portion...lol. If You ever put aside financial Domming, let me know.

slave

Guess what?  If I was to use my time, body, and energy in pursuit of helping you reach your goals without receiving anything in compensation, that would make me your slave. Idiot! 

PS: Idiots: (and if you are not an idiot who thinks that financial service means that there is no affection present, then I am not talking to you) If you invite your mother to lunch, do you make her pay just so she can prove that she loves you? Or, do you feel like her showing up and spending time, having a meal with you is related to her affection to you, even if you pay for the food?

If you are living in your mother's house, do you tell her that you will help with none of the bills,  but, expect her to pay for them all, as well as her doing the majority of the cooking and cleaning and spending hours of her time, every day, on checking up on your life to see how you are progressing? Or, do you help with the chores and the bills, and try to do a little more than her out of gratefulness for her time, concern and sheltering of you?

God gave you a brain. It is not in your pants. God gave you a mouth, it is not in your pants either. Stop thinking with your cock, talking out your ass and start using your real brain to think and your real mouth to ask questions.

Quote from old profile (masterlymother):

Strict, task-oriented Mistress, with love of rules and protocols, seeking hard-working, generous s-types for goal-oriented or long-term discipline-based relations.

I view the role of a Mistress to slaves and subs as being like that of a very strict mother: keeping them to task, setting chore schedules, administering punishments or rewards for their behavior and accomplishments.Financial service is a must and sex, between me and you, is not an option,

If you just need help with a certain goal, that requires monitoring, I charge $75 per week plus expenses. Expenses include any special equipment or clothing needed, meals when with you, transportation costs if any, and any other reasonable needs. In other words, I will not pay for anything related to your being disciplined or receiving extra attention from me. This can be online or in person. I will accept cash only, which, if you are from out of town, will be placed in a very pretty card and mailed to an address I will give you.  I will not begin until payment is received. For this $75 I will spend up to 7-1/2 hours per week on you.

If you are a 24/7 service slave, what the financial service will be depends on the exact situation. Obviously, a slave who is living with me is going to have more money to devote to service than a slave who has a family to support. 

I have personal goals of losing fat, gaining muscle, learning to eat for health in an enjoyable way, repairing and decorating my home, writing books and getting them published, creating and selling artwork, growing spiritually closer to Jehovah God, and helping others who are in need - family first, but, not just. Any persons I will consider for more than goal-oriented situations will have to be of use in me obtaining these goals.

This post is in praise of guypantysniffer. It has nothing to do with wanting him in my life, approval of his fetishes or anything else but this:

He is truthful! First, he admits that he is a vanilla guy who is looking for specific sexual kinks to be fulfilled and then he reiterates it later, by saying that he loves women and sharing these kinks but that this does not mean he is submissive or a slave.

Now, that's the kind of vanilla person that is not so bad to have around. It may be all about the sex for him, but, at least he is not pretending to be something he is not, and, in that way, he is showing far more respect for the dominant women than most men  on this site who claim to be submissive or slave.

Good job you, guypantysniffer!

Take a hint, other boys!

Quote from journal entry (if you care to see more, look at bbwBSDMuse, for as long as it stays around):

Some people have no concept of slavery. Guess what ?When the slaves got on the auction block - as some did, by choice- they did not call out to the crowd gathered around: "Which one of you has the biggest tits?" or "I can only work for you on Friday afternoons, because I need the other evening and days off open for my real life!"

Nor did they demand "I want to stay living just where I am." or "I might want to live with you, but, you have to tell me more about the kind of home you have and what side of town it's on."

However, I have no issue with a person, wishing to be a slave but having limitations, clearly expressing those limitations. It's just that there is a world of difference between "Would I be expected to live with you and what side of Tucson do you live on?" and "My work is such that I would need to remain where I am." or even "I can transfer to Tucson, but, I don't have a vehicle/know how to drive and would prefer not to move unless I could be within a short bus ride away from my employer."

Though, that last still sounds a bit weird, for a slave, because, really, your job is to do what I want you to do and if I want you to be on the bus 6 hours a day and working 8, that's my business, not yours. Yours is to say "Yes, Ma'am," and then do it!

Quote from old journal entry:

Okay, you crazy bitches - two things:

1) I am NOT bringing you to my home, giving you my phone number or home address, or my name even, until we have met face to face, at least. Even then, even if I decide to keep you, I may have you live away from me while I train you to my needs.

2)Did you happen to notice that 'Female Supremacy' is not in my interests list? This is because I do not believe in it. What part of my living for Christianity makes you think that I believe that Jesus was inferior to me? No, but, in fact, I believe in most cases it is men who are more fit to be the one making the major decisions in life, such as where the family will live, and the woman should be home caring for the children and making sure supper gets done.

Yes, I mean that!

No, really ... it's true.

It's just that there are dominant women and there are submissive men, and they do have to muddle along through life, same as everyone else, and they shouldn't have to be unhappy all their lives, trying to fit themselves into a mold that just doesn't fit them.

It's also that there are people who are naturally born slaves, who simply cannot function, at least not happily, without having someone else to lead them in mostly every aspect of their life. And, they are beautiful people, who deserve the same love and respect as everyone else.

And, of course, there are the weird and wonderful people who can truly be happy being a slave, submissive or owner, because, what they really care about is the end results of activities, not who directs them.

And, there are the switches, who, believe it or not, is not who I was just talking about. Switches, like bisexuals, are mostly geared toward one sort of way of life, but, occasionally need the added zip of the other side.

The people you thought were switches, they are the dominants, too. Didn't know that, did you? Well, they are. They are psychologically dominant, not just something that is learned, not something they need out of fear or circumstance. And, they tend to view things in terms of the greater good, because it is their job to lead. Which is why, when they encounter that person who can lead, they can follow in support of them if that is what is needed to get the job done.

Sex doesn't matter, sexuality doesn't matter, nothing matters when it comes to whether you are dominant or submissive, switch or slave, except that you are what you are, and that is what you should remain true to. 
If I was dominant because I was female, then all females would be dominant and you wouldn't have to seek a dominant female out, would you? They'd be nothing special or hard to find, would they?

Males are generally dominant, and that is provable by looking at almost entirely every society that ever existed on planet Earth. However, there have been female rulers,matriarchal societies, and individual relationships where it was obvious the woman was the better leader. 
That's the truth behind your fantasy. Not stop trying to force your fantasy that I am just the same as every other woman, and that they are all goddesses, off on me. We are all part of the same race called Man. If all women were goddesses, all men would be gods, because we are all blood and flesh and bone related.

Also, I spent too much of my life getting crap for not acting normal, right, as a woman should, being told that "men do not like women who are faster" or stronger, or more intelligent, and being put through misery by all the back-biting whores (read other females) who couldn't take the fact that I was their natural-born superior, and who sought to drag me down to their level for the perceived insult of what was, after all, just me being born the way I was born. Don't tell me that they are all like me. Their periods change because I spend too much time with them, and they get scared because my mere presence has altered their body chemistry, and they, attempting to live in their unnatural state of being allegedly able to do and be everything that men are and trying to pretend that they are the same as everyone else, freak out and try to destroy what scares them. Only, they never do, because they are too weak and chuckle-headed to get the job done.

Does that mean all other females are weak and chuckle-headed? No, some are beautifully and strongly submissive, wonderfully and sexily dominant, and some really are just the equals of men. But, the world is full of chuckle-headed bitches of both sexes and I have zero patience with people who deny that fact.

Quote from old journal entries:

A friend has recently told me that I'm too nice and it took me aback. Having paid more attention to myself, I can see that he is right. I have spent so much time dealing with children, family and co-workers, trying to appear normal before judges (custody hearings), etc. that I have started to do something quite wrong, and it is this:

When I talk to an alleged sub or slave, I spend my time trying to determine if we are a good fit, before making any serious demands or allowing them to come visit. I have this weird thought in my head that I want to be fair, not to take advantage of them until and unless we are sure we are compatible and that I am the woman who will fit their needs, to the proper degree.

What utter crap! I am not their mother, no matter what any former profile may have said. I am the one they should be seeking to please, and if they have not made their own desires clear, if they have pursued someone who they find out is not what they thought she was, whose fault is that? Not mine. I have left plenty of clues as to who and what I am.

If men are lazy sods, who show up and don't get what they expect, they deserve what they do get. So, yes, I shall take advantage of what they bring or what they offer, and laugh at their disappointment if and when it comes.

Quote from journal entry of older profile:

I need a foot slave. I have particularly trying feet. They have been admired by many, and I have been offered hundreds of dollars, at various times, just to allow some man or other to kiss and fondle them for an hour or so.I am not, however,, their biggest fan.

The foot slave would need to:

1. pay for professional pedicures and foot treatments, from time to time. This includes acupressure or acupuncture treatments and massages.
2. learn how to do pedicures and foot treatments in private, including massages
3. ,obviously, stock up on the items needed to perform the pedicures and foot treatments.
4.  take care of my hands in a similar manner, for I do not wish to have mismatching body-parts, any more than they may already be now.
5. measure my feet and legs for the purchase of footwear.
6. pay for custom-made footwear
7. see to it that all things related to feet are provided and cared for, including massage and dressing of the legs, as well as the feet. Such as stockings, to go with heels, to be more specific.
8. ,when allowed as a reward, spend a great deal of time kissing and licking my feet, and sucking my toes.

That is all.

Quote from an older profile (bbwBDSMuse): 

From the time we begin, you have approximately three days to prove yourself to me, through toil, gifting, obedience and public acts of devotion. Everything rests upon your actions during those three days. I will not discuss whether I even wish to own you or help you until you have given me some reason to believe in your sincerity and abilities.

I am especially interested in artists, even more especially writers, but, might consider anyone who is interested in using their interest in BDSM to improve, not destroy, their life. 

You must be able and willing to kiss my feet in public settings, accept that I am the one who will set your limits, to learn protocols, accept discipline including physical punishment without courting physical punishment, and to accept whatever demeaning situation or work I put you into.

I will listen to your needs and desires before setting your limits, but, when the limits are set, your only recourse is to agree or to leave. I will not negotiate.

Quote from an older profile (MyLifeMySlave):

The basic rules for contacting me, for those interested in possible service to me, are as follows: 

Answer the questions. You may break them up into sections or answer them all at once. In addition, you should write an essay on why you think you are one who will suit my needs. Do not write to me, otherwise, without permission.

Understand that from the point where you contact me with the answers to the questions up until a final decision is made, there will be approximately 72 hours in which for you to be considered and accepted.

If you are looking for something slower, more romantic, more sexual, more promising of catering to your specific fetishes, where the woman has certain looks or dresses in a certain fashion or otherwise less slave-like, move on.

I am telling you what I want from you: hard work, obedience, and an understanding that, except as is NEEDED, everything will go MY way. Figure it out, if this is for you, within the 72 hours. I may add extra time, due to my schedule, but, not due to yours.

Here is where I weed out some lazy ones: When you write to me to answer the questions, the first email message should start with "iconic zebras are the whirl-wind end of domestic perturbance". Yes, just like that, even with the quotation marks.

In other words, be ready to actually be a slave and don't waste my time or yours.

Information about me, including various scenarios I might find enjoyable and be willing to consider for less than 24/7, can be found in my journal entries and in my interest list. Do your own research. I will not  be answering questions of s-types too lazy to bother trying to find the answers.

End of story.

• Where do you live now? With whom? 

• Are you relocatable? If yes, how long will it take you to relocate while retaining your current employment (transferring to Tucson, for instance)? If no, then what are your expectations of being able to serve from where you live?

• What skills do you have related to home repair or maintenance? Be specific. "I have handyman skills" is not specific! "I know how to do drywall, repair roofs, install electric but not gas water heaters, do minor electrical work, hang doors, and can build simple cabinets from scratch." is specific. So is "I have no handyman skills whatsoever, but, I can help other people who do and I certainly can pay for a good lot of materials."

• What is your current employment?

• What is your current income?

• What are your current financial obligations? Be specific. I want to know how much for rent or mortgage, car insurance, house insurance, taxes, child support, internet, cable or satellite tv, gas to get to work, car repair and maintenance, food, and anything else that is recurring or is generally needed.

• What skills do you have that are related to domestic service? Be specific. IE: Washing dishes by hand, good at organization, know how to cook basic dishes, gourmet chef, etc.

• Do you have any children? If so, how will they relate to service? IE: Do they know what you are? Are they young and will they need to be living with you? Do you have visitation and can you afford to travel for that purpose, if it is necessary to do so?

• What racial, ethnic, national, sexual, religious or other sects, divisions or groups are you prejudiced against? Why? Be honest or let it be on your own head if you end up being owned by someone you consider inferior or a lunatic. She'll enjoy correcting you, just the same.

• Do you have an artistic inclination or talent? Explain.

• Do you enjoy reading? What and whom do you read? 

• Name three of the funniest movies you can think of. Explain.

• Name three of the funniest comedians you can think of. Explain

• Name three celebrities you admire (dead or alive). Explain.

• Name three historical figures you admire. Explain.

• Do you believe that unborn fetuses may be aborted by the choice of the mother and that the father has no say in it, and that the mother is not committing an immoral act by making such a choice? Do you believe that in all cases or in special circumstances only? Explain.

• Do you believe in the death penalty? For whom and why?

• Do you believe that people with learning disabilities or physical impediments are inferior and that fetuses known to be likely to have such problems should be aborted? 

• Do you think giving SSI or welfare assistance to the truly needy is wrong?

• Do you believe in God? Why or why not? Who is he to you? How do you feel about people who believe in God? What if they do not agree with you but believe something else; can you serve them? Under what circumstances?

• Do you wish to be maintained in chastity? Always or part time? Why?

• Do you believe that a Mistress must be cruel, even evil, and use her sexual powers or that she cannot dominate men, otherwise?

• Do you believe that a Mistress cannot own slaves and, yet, serve or be submissive or even just equal to a man in her life?

• Are you specifically looking for someone who has a certain body type, coloring, height, weight, or fetish need? Explain.

• Are you ready to be lightly tested (under $100) for a willingness to serve financially?

• Do you have any current health issues? Need medication? Explain.

• Name three favorite bands or recording artists. Explain

• If you've read this whole thing, be sure and start your message with "rectified zebra", including quotation marks, so I will know you are serious.

• Are you into pain for your own pleasure? Is it better used for reward or punishment for you?

• Do you know anything of planning for proper nutrition, herbal healing, or alternative medicine? Explain.
• Is it more important for you to be broken by your Mistress, or lovingly but firmly hemmed in by her rules?

Quote from journal of an older profile (if you want to know more from this profile look up madramblings as I am done quoting from it, now):

What do I want out of a slave? 

A happy, healthy person who is focused on achieving goals that are worthwhile, such as helping others, knowing God better, bettering his health, bettering his education, taking care of his responsibilities to his family and his community. Someone whose life is not dedicated primarily to physical pleasures and pursuit of wealth. Or, at least, someone who wants to learn to be these things.

Someone who has a natural inclination towards friendliness, giving, sharing, obedience and helpfulness.

Someone who is prone to accepting people as they are and helping them to be the best them that they can be.

Preferably someone who is a bit mad, and who embarks on bouts of BDSM play with a smile on his face and can really relax into a good drubbing, revel in his time of being caged, and who can come out of a hot box with a smile on his face and a better idea for how to make healthy cupcakes than he had before he went in.

The sort of person who can balance "vanilla life" and "bdsm life" into just "life", the same way one balances "church life", "work life", "family life" and "time by oneself" life.

The kind of person who will say "Oh! This place IS a mess. Should I start now, wherever I see to? Or, should I wait until you tell me where and what to do?" With all the appropriate politeness, "Yes, Mistress" talk, etal, of course!

Someone who knows how to say "If you really want me to, I'll go to the store and get the beer and cigarettes, Mistress; but, you told me before that even if you order it, I probably shouldn't listen to you, so, which you should I be listening to right now?"

hee hee hee  That makes me sound like an alcoholic! I'm not. It's just that, most times I want beer and cigarettes, its because I am coming down with a flu or cold, and, for some reason, that makes me want to drink and smoke. So, yeah, when I really have the urge, it is the worst time to have someone around who will obey me and go get them. Go figure! 

Anyway ...

Do you see what I am talking about? I want someone who is PROUD to be a slave, but, not full of pride; who is grateful to kneel and kiss one's foot, but, is not groveling incessantly; someone who is giving, but, is not looking to be stolen from; someone who is, in fact, very positive and happy in their slaveship.

Quote from journal of older profile:

Boy, are there are lot of you that just don't get it. If you can't fit in with a Christian lifestyle and you can't stand writers, there is no point! If you think I am the one who should be pursuing you, showing you my skills and auditioning for you, there is no point! 

You are the one who wants to be a slave? Act like it! If you can't figure out your own "selling" points, then, find someone else to help you figure it out. 

For me, I only want real slaves, who really want to work hard, submit, be used in all manners that I wish to use them. Oh, see, there are two words that are emphasized there: I, as in me, not someone you hope I will turn out to be but who I actually am; wish, as in desire, as in I will not be using them in some way that I do not desire just to make them happy.

Though, it may be true that I may use them in ways that I know they desire and which I generally do not desire, but, on that day, I just happen to want to be nice, or see the look on their face, or make them lose control in a certain way. That's not a guarantee, though.

As a slave, if you have talents they will be put to my use IF I want them to be; if you have income, it will be put to my use IF I want it to be (with limits only being about your strict necessities); if you have skills, they will be put to my use IF I want them to be; and, yes, your sexuality is under my control as well, but, in the manner I wish it to be, not the manner in which you wish it to be.

Therefore, as I have said before, if you wish to serve me - even might wish to - you need to display your talents, skills, income, and needs; and, you need to give me reason to believe that you can serve the needs and desires of a dominant Christian woman who is a writer and a home owner.

You may read my journal entries to learn more about me as a person. It is not necessary, but,  it will give me reason to believe that you are more intelligent and sincere than others.

I get hundreds of applicants a week. What makes you stand out from the crowd?

This is ugly:

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This is beautiful:

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If you cannot understand the difference, or see what I see, I cannot help you.

Quote from journal entry of one of my older accounts (two in order of appearance in my life, as they are both related):

some alleged slave: hi, id be interested in knowing more about you, particularly your 2 named interest and how they relate to slavery. thank you

Me: And, I care, because?  I am not here to answer survey questions or to be interviewed. I am not on offer. Slaves offer themselves, owners decide if the slave is suited

Me (over 8 hours later): You do sound rather interesting; but, as I said on my profile, and in my journal entries - somewhere or another - a real slave doesn't need to know all the details of my life to know IF to serve. They need to know if I will accept their actual needs, including their needed limitations, and if I want them to serve me.

You may read my journal entries, if you want to know more. I have no problem with that, but, I will not answer questions of the nature you asked, especially when they have already been answered as well as they can be answered without knowing the particular talents, skills and resources associated with the slave. 

If you might be interested in serving me, you need to tell me why I would want you to, and that includes how you can serve the two interests on my list, if you can; what these trigger fetishes are; talents; skills; relative income; if you can relocate; how you can relocate or otherwise make yourself available for use; costs of anything that would be a constant in the way you live now (if you must remain there) or even if you should be living with me (gas, car insurance, child support, taxes, costs related to work life (clothes, equipment, union fees); needs related to staying in touch with family or friends, keeping a mobile on you at all times for work (if on call); religious or spiritual needs, including restrictions on eating, dancing, drinking, etc.; religious beliefs if you are not some form of Christian because there are beliefs that I will not accept into my home; and a photo of your face would not be remiss, as what is in one's eyes often tells more than anything else. That is not strictly necessary for now, though.

There is a reason I am doing it this way. Things have somehow gotten reversed on this site, wherein the alleged slaves expect to be pursued, wooed, given promises and guarantees, told all information about the alleged dominants and auditioned for. It's disgusting.

Anyone who wants to be a slave, not just a fetishist or a lover that gets spanked sometime or a sex partner, will pursue being a slave and in the world of BDSM that means them acting as their own seller, too, more often than not.

I have never owned a slave that did not come to me, pursue me, beg me and give me cause to believe that they would be an asset to my life, that was not willing to mold themselves to my needs, and that did not give me their all - except what little must be reserved for God. I will not do so, now.

some alleged slave: 

WOW! you said your name is madramblinngs? :-) just teasing. that was a written masterpiece. Thank You.

I originally wrote because i was and am curious about your Christianity and how you reconcile it with BDSM if you at all do.

Beyond that, i as a slave am not expecting to be pursued as you alluded. All i want is to be able to build a basic rapport with you to see if there is a real basis for moving forward in slavery at all. This type of relationship is no different in that regard from any other. People are people. You aren't a mechanical domme and me not the same as a slave. We have to relate. People relate by communicating.

Me:  

Yes, it's like any other relationship - where in one does not expect to be friends, lovers or family. Such as employer/employee, co-workers, professional and person consulting them (therapist, life coach, etc.). Screw your rapport. I have no time to waste with someone who thinks being a slave is like dating.

Goodbye.

Another example of someone who does not get it. Proves never to trust a "slave" whose very ID claims that he is elite. Pfffttt!

Update: 

some alleged slave: you are a character thats for sure.

 Me: I'm sure your opinion matters to someone. It's not me. Go find them, is my suggestion. I'm interested in slave(s).

I was recently asked about how I reconcile my being a Christian with BDSM. Took a while for him to ask it in a way that didn't sound like a load of prying or judgment, but, he finally did make it clear that he was asking because he is a Christian and is having a great deal of difficulty doing so, himself.

Actually, I have far more trouble reconciling being on this site and being Christian than anything more directly related to BDSM. This site has very little to do with BDSM and his heavily geared toward sexual play and fetishism, there are pornographic images, and people keep offering me really nasty things that I don't want, there definitely are men who are being kept for unnatural purposes and many of them who beg me to keep them for unnatural purposes. 

This is the point where you do not write to me and tell me to stop judging you, because, when you do write to me in that way, you are actually judging me. If you wish to live your life that way, it is your business; but, it has nothing to do with either Christianity or BDSM. You may say you practice either or both, but, if your focus is on sex, kinky activities, or doing things that can cause the black plague to rise up and smite us all (*ahem* toilet people) then you are, in fact, not practicing either but are, perhaps, only loosely associated with one, the other, or both. Your loose associations do not concern me, so long as you are not attempting to direct my life or be enslaved within it.

There didn't use to be BDSM, you understand, because, it used to just be called "life". In life, many people were enslaved, including people who were enslaved as apprentices, servants, children of the house, serfs, peasants, etc. Many of those people had some mild rights under the law, but, they were subject to the will of another.  In theory, in most cases, everyone was subject to God, but, the High King was not subject to any other man; except as he had to allow concession and, sometimes, pleasures, to make his rulership work, for instance.This  was "total power exchange' because while he did not have to listen to the Queen, the Princes, the peasants or serfs, or his slaves or servants, it was going to go a lot better for him if he occasionally did and this was an understood and accepted part of life. 

The apostles were bought as slaves to the Christ and elevated to be his brothers, and they were all in union with him as a slave to God. Yet, they were still subject to following the teachings of the Christ, having bound themselves to him, by God. They were given help by God, through Jesus, and in turn they did their will. .They were exhorted to follow certain rules and live by certain standards, to work tirelessly in service to God, to go out with only the clothes on their back and to earn their food and lodging. Doing this, they were often given help in time of need, given the words to say, and helped in the work they were sent forth to do. This is total power exchange.

Western society is based on the unnatural belief that slavery, indentured servitude, ownership of one's children and spouse, are wrong. This denial of reality causes much conflict, unnatural and violent reactions, a cooling off of emotional attachments, street gangs, strife, enmity and other selfish actions. Your spouse is an entity unto themselves, with no responsibility toward you and you none toward them? They do not live for you and you do not make your choices based on bolstering up both them and your marriage? Then, what is the point of marriage? Of course your spouse belongs to you and you to them, and one must sacrifice one's time, energy, finances and whatever else one has, to some extent, in the feeding of the marriage union and in seeking to fulfill the needs and at least some of the desires of one's spouse. If both people are doing as they should, this is total power exchange. And, this is what God does tell us to do with our spouses.

In fact, in one of the chapters I was reading today, it was said that the husband does not exercise authority over his own body, but, his wife does; and the wife does not exercise authority over her own body, but, the husband does. Take that along with the marriage vows, and, what you are being told to do is 1) Follow all the rules of your owner (God) 2) Treat your fellow slave with respect 3) Be subject to the needs of your fellow slave, treating him or her as your master, when it comes to sexual needs because you are restricted from having sex with others and you are ordered to sexually please them 4) Think of them constantly, because your master wishes it that way and as you think of them you must also think of him, understand that he has given you this other slave to be both your servant and master by proxy, and you must remember to give him thanks and to show your appreciation.I could go on. I think you see my point, though.  

BDSM is a denial of the unreality of persons who wish to live so unnaturally that they believe no one owns anyone, no one should ever be punished/ that it is better to let crime run rampant and be sexually indiscriminant  and then destroy the inconvenient people who have gone to far or been generated at an inconvenient time through the death penalty and abortion, than it is to teach discipline, engage in behavior modification or take responsibility not only for your own actions but also the actions of those whom belong to you.

Christianity is also the denial of the unreality of such persons. In both cases, the emphasis is on self control and discipline, control and discipline of others, making one's owner proud,  keeping one's property safe, and living life as it should be lived rather than as confused people insist it should be lived; yet, following the laws of man up to the point where it is impossible to do so while living  as one has chosen to live. In Christianity, it is  said "until they conflict with the laws of God."  In BDSM, it is a matter of mutual consent between parties. 

BDSM does not have to include God within it, but, with or without God being involved, it has many of the same elements as natural life and as Christianity and the way societies used to be structured. So, there is no reason why God cannot be included in it, and, in fact, good reason why he should be, since that gives added focus to self control, discipline, rule planning, and the leading of one's property.

In all likelihood, that is not the answer he was seeking, because it is all philosophical and most people choose to dwell on the more practical. Such as, if you are serving someone and they want to stick a  dildo up your butt, make you have sexual relations with someone who is the same sex with you and then pretend to be a dog for a while, maybe even letting another dog ride you, how do you remain in union with the Christ.

The answer is that you do not. You should only serve people, or be served by people, who are willing to make concession for your needs, and if you are Christian then your needs include monogamous sex inside of marriage to a spouse of the opposite sex or no sex at all. And, as someone engaged in BDSM, you need things to be safe, sane and consensual. That scenario doesn't allow for either sort of need, so, don't be in it.

However, there is much that can be done to and with a slave that does not conflict with the laws of God and that by intent do not conflict with the laws of man. One should not seek to incite lust, engage in thievery, act with anger, cheat on one's spouse, etc. One can, however, take a slave, tie them up, whip them and stick them under a couch, because it is enjoyable, in some way or another, to you both and who is to say it is wrong? It is consensual, and while it is weird it does no damage so it is safe and that makes it sane. It is not inciting lust, committing murder or adultery, stealing anything, or taking someone away from God. So, why not? 

The short answer, then, is that one reconciles them by actually reconciling them, and recognizing that the rules that God has set forth are RULES. You dedicate yourself to them and always put them above those of your owner, just as you have been told to follow the laws of man until they conflict with the laws of God; and, as an owner, you remember the part in the Bible wherein masters are told to remember that how they treat their slaves is how God sees that they think slaves should be treated, and that they belong to God so they should be careful to treat their slaves as they would be treated by God.

The end.

Quoted from an older profile's journal:

You know what I wait for? Someone with some gumption, as they used to say. You know, someone who would see what I am saying, assess their abilities and have the nerve to say to me - because they want to serve so badly and they have considered all the angles that they have reason to know about - something like:

"Ma'am, I only have a very limited income and I have a wife and kids to take care of, and she keeps track of most of the money, so I couldn't serve you, financially, outside of maybe buying a piece of equipment here and there, over time. But, what I could do is help you with fixing some things around the house, cleaning, and - hey did you ever hear about FreeCycle? If you found things that you wanted on there, that would help make your yard look better or to furnish your home, clothes that would fit you or whatever else you wanted, I'd do my best to go and fetch them for you, even if it meant putting in the time and effort to shovel up gravel, take apart cabinetry, or renting a bigger truck for a short time. I'd just tell my wife I was helping out someone, which wouldn't be a lie. I just want to serve, in the way that I can."

Or, even something like " I have long work hours and a pretty tight schedule, so I can't come serve you every day and may not ever be able to come physically do the work, but, perhaps I could serve you by hiring people to come do the work and we could dedicate the time I could spend with you to training in discipline and pain play?"

Or, even "I'll pay you $50 to allow me to come over and you put me in a cage for at least an hour. That's all I want to do. I don't want to serve you, but, I'll be obedient while I'm there with you and I'll bring the cage and clean up any mess afterward."

Or, even "I have no money to give, for real, and no car for the FreeCycle thing and no desire to be caged, Mistress, but, if you'll consent to making me a chore list and coming over to make me do it, once a week and thwack me for not moving fast enough, like you talked about before in your journal entry, I will also come over and clean your kitchen really well, once a week or some other room if you'd prefer to switch." 

Or, even " I have no money, I have no job. I'm on unemployment right now and struggling to pay rent, which is about $800 including utilities and plus groceries and all that. Would you let me pitch a tent in your back yard and use your bathroom and kitchen and wash clothes, so that I can save some money while I am looking for work?  If you say yes, I'll give you $100 toward the utilities I'll be using and pay an equal percentage of the grocery bill and eat whatever it is you think we should be eating."

You know: someone who is thinking, who is trying to find a way to get what they need or really, really want, without trying to force other people to do things that they don't want to do or otherwise seeking to take unfair advantage of me.

I know there are people who think that way, but, the ones that I have encountered have it ingrained in them that it is more polite to offer nothing and ask for sex than it is to actually just ask a bold question concerning addressing their actual needs. Weird! I have nothing against people attempting to fulfill their needs, or to attempt to find a way to make themselves happy in a way that doesn't harm others. Let's do that!

Quoted from an older profile's journal:

A quote from the profile of another alleged slave:

"i do believe that a relationship can be built on a few differences and a lot of similarities

…So, first, the few differences…

i am slim and relish to serve a, Voluptuous,Rubenesque, Full-Figured, BBW Goddess

i am submissive and eager to bow to a No-nonsense, Blunt, Powerful, Dominant Mistress

…And now the lot of similarities…

i am impatient to be humiliated by aDegraderess 

i am excited at the idea of being facefuckedby a Straponess

i am enthusiastic when worshipping the entire body of a Facesitteress

i am willing to drink the nectar of a Golden Showeress

i am keen to be faceslapped by a Whipstress

i am ready to be spat on by a Squirteress

i am prepared to have my cum forced fed by an Agressoress

i am thrilled to be verbally abused by aCurseress

i am primed to be forcefully gagged byDildoress

i am disposed to wear bodily fluids by aSnotress

i am motivated to have insults written on my body by a Dehumanizeress

…Moreover, i have a head on my shoulders and You must have one too, capable of making the distinction between playing and real life, being drugs and disease free, being able to communicate on another level…i can further describe myself as not being a pain slut, but more a humiliation whore, craving to use my tongue and body to satisfy any desire of an imaginative Sorceress who does not shy away from intensity …"

Where is the work? Where is the usefulness? Where is he talking about doing anything to make her happier, more comfortable, supporting her in achieving her goals, or  doing anything actually slave-like? Sounds to me like he wants to find himself a lover, who acts really mean and kinky in the bedroom,but, considers the rest of life "real" and the kinky activities "play". 

That is not BDSM and that is not being a slave. It's just being a vanilla-driven kinkster. Well, not just ... because, it is also really selfish, self-centered, rude, disrespectful and completely unattractive. If I was the sort of woman who would do all those things, I still wouldn't be interested, just because men talking that way screams "USER!" I'd want to be in a relationship with someone who wasn't just out for his own sexual thrills.

Quoted from an older profile: 

I have two items on my interest list: the one I live for, Christianity; the one I love, writing. These are what you should know about my personality, as they govern most of what I do and who I am.

If you are truly a slave, they are more than you need to know to decide if you will serve; all you really need to know is will I actually accept you into service and will I be reasonable enough to allow you the things you need.

As to the latter, I will. The things you need being defined as what keeps you out of financial ruin, out of the hospital and out of jail as much as possible, in the life of those who you love best to some extent; and, whatever best relates to your spiritual needs. Including, of course, those things which must be abstained from.

If you need to know more than those two things to decide IF to serve, then you are not a slave. Present yourself to me as a true slave, with accurate information,and HOW to serve me will be taught you.

Quoted from an old profile:

Not seeking extreme uses and definitely not abuses - not for me, not of me. What I want is BDSM as it applies to reality. If it is not functional and does not fit in with day to day life, it is worthless to me. 

Owning slaves is good; monogamous marriage is good. I would accept either situation or both; but, I will not accept a man who wants to be legally a husband, but physically a slave. If a man wishes to be a husband, he must live up to the title and if he wishes to be treated also as submissive in some capacity, that might be acceptable, depending on the exact nature of his desires.

I like dominant men who are reasonable and can deal with strong women and who, like me, are dealing well with reality. If they expect worship, forget it. No bellowing, no "women are inferior" talk, and I will not even consider being their slave. I would only consider a dominant man as a marriage partner and only if I had reason to believe he could be dominant without tearing me down or feeling threatened by my strength.

I like submissive men who can listen and obey, who are also dealing with reality. If they are looking for a goddess, they should go to India where there are temples to hundreds, maybe thousands, of them to choose from. I'm a human being!

If you serve me as a slave, you will be a real slave. This means total obedience, loyalty, listening, working, without argument and without demands. It might mean being caged, whipped, forced to sleep on the floor or whatever else I find suitable for discipline or it might mean simple patient obedience but otherwise living much like a free person. It is not your choice, it is mine.

And, for your information, those of you with nothing better to do than send negative messages: It's your time that will be wasted, not mine. I know how to both block and delete and your opinion means nothing, unless it agrees with mine.

Dear s-types:

This is not a meat market and, even if it were, dominants are not the ones who would be the meat.

I'm going to get rid of the internet, except for using a hot spot for occasional casual use and using my sister's for doing my work. This will give me more time to work on the house I am trying to fix up and to write my stories, and hopefully get them published,as  the internet gets quite addictive and can waste hours of otherwise productive time.

I won't have a phone, anymore, either. 
The relief I feel at this prospect is palpable.

I also believe that "loving my dominant"  or "loving my slave" does not have to be the same thing as romantic love. I have loved masters who have owned me (and some who didn't), slaves I have owned (and some I just knew casually), people who were neither but who sometimes acted as one, the other or both to some degree, and people who had nothing to do with BDSM at all.

Love is not sex, sex is not love, and romance is only one facet of one aspect of love, all told. I am all for love, but, when it comes to wanting to have sex with someone or marry them, I have already met the only man I have ever truly felt that way about and you are nothing compared to him. 

So, don't try to be compared to him! Be yourself and be what you are. Find your romance and sex elsewhere. I might help you to, if the help you want fits within my lifestyle choices, but, I won't be giving them to you.

I believe that owning a slave should be as simple as this:
I tell you what I want (or you tell me what you have to offer and it's my choice which)

You make honest reply and we come to an agreement as to if you will be owned by me, what limitations there will be to that ownership (especially things related to finances and family) should it be that we feel we will be suited, and, finally, you acquiesce and begin serving.

If we are both honest and compatible, it shouldn't take more than 15 minutes to discuss it, and a day or two - at most - to decide. If we are not compatible, it should take even less time to decide. If we are not both honest, there is no point.

Don't hide behind words and phrases which mean nothing. Don't answer me with generalities. Being a slave is your life's work and this is your job interview. You have one shot at passing it. Act accordingly.

DommeMari is a prime example of what I was talking about on my last profile! If you reject a certain man, a Domme named Mari or Marie comes along. She is almost always claiming to be from Oslo, Norway and she almost always has Mari or Marie as part of the ID, and she is obviously that man. Oh, and there is never a profile.

If you open up her messages, you somehow automatically get a virus and end up having to clean up crap off your computer for a good long time. Or, you do if you can't afford to get it fixed professionally! 

Unfortunately, you can't always tell who the man is, because, he has something like 13 different profiles running at any given time. Usually he is from New York or New Jersey, though. Although, he is really from the U.K. and has profiles that say that, as well; and, of course, he has the BostonSky, Violette whatever profiles, too. So, maybe I should say he has about 13 New York/ New Jersey profiles, 3 or 4 from Boston, and at least 2 from the U.K.

Met someone who had met him, and they said he is not just bored and lonely, and doing this online, either; but, that after they met with him, once, he started following them around, to munches and BDSM events and then hanging around where he saw they shopped, worked, etc. So, he's a scary, scary guy!

"Why don't you report him, then?"

Uhm, I do! Obviously, so did other people and it took, because this DommeMari is a new profile for him. Same nasty bugs and such, though. 

When romance is off the table, deciding IF to serve someone is not the same thing as deciding if to marry them. It's much more like deciding if to take a job or accept a roommate. If it involves relocation, it might require a visit to meet face-to-face and a day or two to decide. It doesn't have to, though, and in most cases it shouldn't. 

You know what it should involve? Specifying limits that keep you safe while you begin serving, which may be lessened or eliminated altogether, as time goes on. Because, as I have said before, and may just say again, one does not learn most of what one needs to know about a potential owner before serving them, but, one learns it during service.

That's why it is important for you to have limits and for you to give them accurate information when they are testing and questioning you before service begins.

Watching 'Saving Silverman'  Don't really see anything wrong with the relationship, except that the guy she chose to have it with doesn't seem like the right type.. Well, that and I think butt cheek implants are gross. I'd make him do squats and such, instead.

Another person who needs a severe lesson in manners:

And, my response to his chicken shite, "Let's attack and then block immediately" arse: 

Okay, you are OBVIOUSLY insane, since I have NEVER tried to contact you or even looked at your profile, and therefore you never HAD to block my profile since blocking is for people like you, who, out of the blue, write spam messages at innocent bystanders.

And, really, dude, if my opening a new account, which USUALLY happens about once a year but sometimes happens every few months and TWICE happened within the last few months, is enough to make you tired, you need to see a doctor as well as a therapist!

Here's a question for the other jerks like him, though: When are you going to learn to mind your own business? I'm not interested in you, you are not interested in me. That's fine. I am not invading your inbox and disturbing your peace of mind because I do not like your looks or I think something that you do is odd or disgusting. Please follow suit!

And, flarbas - I just looked at your profile. You are using a different one than you were using before, hypocrite! And, you are yet another guy that I turned down REPEATEDLY, who is now, what? Trying to convince me he is someone else and break my ego? Get over yourself! If I wanted a fat ass lazy boy who is ugly and into humiliation, I would have said so on my profile.

Sadly, if you were not someone who wanted to be treated as worthless, I could help you lose the weight, develop better self-esteem and be someone worth owning. But, you aren't, and I don't want you. And, this is still the first time I EVER wrote to you or looked at your profile. It was you coming to me, every other time and me blocking you. 

For the record, it's Flarbas that thinks he is ugly. He actually has rather a nice face, for looking so depressed. It's his personality that makes him ugly!

Hey, judgmental people who like to write cruel things to strangers;

Yesterday, I ran over two miles in the water (harder than on land).

Today, for a combination breakfast and lunch, I am having a baked potato with safflower oil instead of butter or margarine and a little salt and pepper; alongside a salad with salsa / mayo dressing, mixed greens (mostly lettuce and spinach), cherry tomatoes, sugar snap peas, jalapenos and a small amount of flax seed; for drink an 80 calorie PowerAde. 

How much exercise have you been doing, and what have you been eating that makes you so superior to the rest of the human race, in general, and me in particular?

Basic facts you need to know about me: 

30-plus years with BDSM in various ways of serving and being served, including pain play, sex play, general house service, training of slaves and dominants.

Painter, writer, drawer, doodler, reader, movie watcher, music listener, intently curious and willing to learn or at least try most artistic thingies.

Weird as a hat, mad as a kipper.

Currently, slowly cleaning out and fixing up a nasty little two bedroom two bath house and currently my son lives in it full time. He is 19 and has some sort of disability, which may or may not be discussed with you at some point.

Fast going the way of the vegan, but, not there, yet; and will always prefer natural fibers and want leather jackets.

Not permanently married to Arizona, and, in fact, would prefer to run away to Scotland or maybe visit many other places, but, haven't the money for it, either full time or part time.

Work from home, but, might enjoy a part time job elsewhere as well.

I like cooking and cleaning, fixing things, would love to learn to sew, and am generally somewhat domestically inclined but I like to have help or someone to do it when I am busy or don't feel well. I am very bad at it, if I am the only one doing it and I have a hard enough time keeping up with my own mess, much less other peoples'. 

Generally do not smoke or drink, but, I would like to have one last really good party before I begin on my program of self improvement, properly, that involves grilling, cake, alcohol and Marlboro Reds.

I am not cruel, but, I do love to slap and pinch people, whip them, etc. 

Seriously, I am weird! Don't try to judge me by standards of normal, as it, mostly, won't work.

Whatever you say to me, good or bad, may be quoted here or on blogs, with or without your ID. I will respect personal information and not share it, though.

I want slaves. I will accept specific exchanges of work or pay for specific forms of discipline, or 24/7 full ownership. I do not just meet people for play,  I do not date, I am not looking for marriage, I do not do sessions. It must be a real relationship, whatever we decide it will go like.

I do not pay for anything, I do not accept slaves who will not use their finances as part of their service. Nor do I accept idiots who are unable to understand the difference between finances being "part of service" and finances being the focus of service, or being something that pays for the lowering of my self-esteem.

I don't NEED your money, unless you are serving me and I am doing things I cannot afford to do in order for us to spend time together doing, dressing and being as we both have agreed upon. Money, like a whip, crop or cage, is a tool by which to enact out certain aspects of domination and submission.

It should be enjoyable, even if it stings a little at times. If it is not this for you, then we are not compatible. I don't care if you have thousands of dollars to spare and want to be blackmailed, because that would not be fun to me. I don't care if you only have $20 per week to spare and it makes you feel inadequate, because the amount is not the focus, it is the submission, the giving, and the serving as a slave.

I will only discuss your serving me, whether you want to do it long distance or up close and personal, at a face-to-face meeting.

If you are interested in serving, read my interests list, read your interests list, consider, and then if you are sure you want to be a slave (hard working, giving, quiet, obedient, used as a tool by which to enrich my life, without more than nominal rights) and you have reason to believe that you might enjoy serving me, you have my permission to write to me to tell me

1) that you do feel this way

2) why you feel that you do feel this way

3)what skills and traits you have that would be useful to a potential owner

4) how you propose to serve (relocating? How? How long will it take? Long distance? What activities do you hope for in that way? Can you travel? How often?)

5) when you are available for a face-to-face meeting

6)that you would like to meet with me and are inviting me to lunch or dinner for this meeting.

There may be some small concessions for long distance persons of limited income, but, who are willing to similarly prove their sincerity through pay pal.

End of story

I also cannot stress this enough:
What is being sought is a real, serious relationship only. Not a vanilla girlfriend/boyfriend, husband/wife, or even friends relationship and certainly not FWB or whore and john, or Madame and gigilo, either. 

This is BDSM: Bondage, discipline, sadism, masochism I am looking for slaves. Below are some basic definition to help sort your head out. 

Do not write to me offering me sex, demanding catering to your fetishes, or offering me pay for play without anything else. Pay for play can be a fun PART of a relationship, but, without the rest of it, it is just another form of being gross and undisciplined. 

Write to me if you want to wake up in the morning and know that you are owned. If wearing a little emblem to remind you of that, such as a necklace, ring or even a keychain, will give you a thrill and help you get through your day and be a more productive worker at your day job because now you are doing it for someone else instead of just yourself; if you feel more free and alive when handcuffed, gagged and sitting at the feet of another; if being pushed to work faster makes you feel like someone has confidence in your abilities; if kissing a foot makes you feel special and humbled, all at the same time, and gives you a feeling of being accepted; if buying something for someone to use on your flesh for your own discipline makes you feel more a part of their existence; if you long for the thrill of kneeling at the feet of your Mistress, in a house that you have helped to clean and make beautiful, and admire the fine job you have done in grooming and polishing her toenails, waiting for her to order you to remove your clothes and go out to the back yard where you will serve her in your nudity, trimming the trees you and the other slaves purchased, in the privacy of the walled in courtyard that you and the other slaves built.

I cannot stress this too much: 

As a person who grew up being educated through a very good set of public schools within the American public education system, who has an IQ over 150, and whom has done extensive reading on all sorts of subjects, I use the English language, and find slight dialectic variants acceptable.

In the English language, this is the basic definition of a few words: 

Slave: 1) a person who is held in servitude as the chattel of another 

           2) one that is completely subservient to a dominating influence

           4) drudge, toiler

Synonyms:  drudge,endeavor,  grub, hustle,plod, plow, plug,labor, slog, strain, strive, struggle, sweat, toil, travail, work

Submissive: submitting to others

                     characterized by tendencies to yield to the will or authority of others

Synonyms: amenable, biddable, compliant, conformable, docile, law-abiding, obedient, tractable

Dominant: 1)a : commanding, controlling, or prevailing over all others <the dominant culture>

Dominance:1: the fact or state of being dominant: as

Synonyms: ascendance (also ascendence), ascendancy (alsoascendency), supremacy, domination, dominion, hegemony,imperium, predominance, predominancy, preeminence, reign,sovereignty (also sovranty)

Domineering:: inclined to exercise arbitrary and overbearing control over others

Synonyms: authoritarian, authoritative, autocratic (also autocratical),despotic, dictatorial, bossy, imperious, masterful, overbearing,peremptory, tyrannical (also tyrannic), tyrannous

Domination: 1 : supremacy or preeminence over another 2: exercise of mastery or ruling power

Service: 1 a : the occupation or function of serving <in active service>

Sex: (According to the Kinsey Institute): "Having sex" means any consensual behavior between two or more individuals involving genital contact and bodily penetration. That means oral sex, anal sex, and vaginal sex are all "sex."

         (According to most religious groups): If it purposely inspires lustful thoughts, it is sex.

         (According to Webster): 1) either of the two major forms of individuals that occur in many species and that are distinguished respectively as female or male especially on the basis of their reproductive organs and structures

So sore! Went to the therapy pool the last three days and worked out a good bit of time. Today, it was about 2-1/2 hours of running. 

Also, spent some time at my favorite house that may be worth living in, one day, washing dishes. It's coming along, slowly. A little too slowly,because I have to keep getting people to go over things they already went over (not slave people, so I can't beat them for it!). It's a matter of cleaning one area, and so they move their stuff to a different area, then we clean that area and they move back to one of the areas already cleaned, and then they do not throw their trash out 

Why? Uhm .. youth, selfishness, lack of interest in cleanliness. (sigh)

You know what? If you think that me saying what I said about meeting people means that it always has to be expensive, or that it is all about the money, then you have a dire lack of imagination and your mind is too much on yourself for you to be able to serve another person, anyway.

willdoe893 wrote to me: 

Open mind, open hand and judging by your size, open mouth!!

He, at least, left himself open for a reply and this was it:

Dublinsubbie just wrote to me to tell me:

I wrote to him and told him:

Yes, I am, as I freely admitted upfront. Now, let's hear you list YOUR faults, which I doubt you did admit on your profile, such as that you are extremely rude and love to waste your time, and the time of strangers, by attacking them and acting in an excessively creepy manner, for NO logical purpose at all.

Go ahead, then! 

Sadly, he did not get that message, because he blocked me. Why is it sad? It means he is not submissive or into BDSM, but, is, instead, a terribly aggressive, oh so vanilla shallow and fear-filled individual who is too judgmental to be able to live within BDSM. If he wasn't, he'd know that my weight, or anything else about me, is none of his business, as it does not a.

This is as stupid as the people who don't celebrate Christmas, so they get offended by the aisles arranged for the convenience of those who do. People will write to stores and complain, insult the people buying the products, yell "What is this shit?" at the aisles, because they just do not get this one simple fact: It doesn't matter if you want it, because it is not being offered to you.

I feel very sorry for this man. Perhaps we are both in the same boat, in that we both might have flaws that are partially or mostly attributable to the influence of others in our life. Yet, I am blessed in that my flaw, the one he pointed out, is very personal and only affects me; whereas his flaw is very publicly embarrassing for him, as as soon as he wrote that, two people knew he was an asshole. Poor guy!

I don't post this, though, to insult him or to make him look more like an asshole, but, to help him. I hope he reads this, considers his actions, and thinks better of how his life should be lived.

Life goes on, and so do we

Just how we do it is no mystery 

One by one, we fill the days 

We find a thousand different ways

I am open to many different sorts of BDSM relationships, within certain fixed paramaters. Those fixed parameters are:

1) I have my own life to live and you must be able, at least while in active service to me, fit into my life.

2) Plain speaking is best, so say what you mean. If you want to kiss my feet, say that you want to kiss my feet. Don't claim you want to worship them, unless you really do believe they are deities and that they can work miracles in your life, such as raising the dead or curing the blind. I speak plainly, and in English. BDSM is about the truth, and it shames us all to call humans goddesses, pretend that we , really believe males or females are some other sex or species,, call kinky sex service, call fees tribute, etc. When in doubt of my meaning, then, consult a dictionary or thesaurus.

3) I will never have sex with you and I am not interested in meting your friends or parents, because this is not about love, romance, or friendship. If it happens that I do meet anyone in your family or you in mine, we will tell them the closest thing to the truth that we think they can handle. This does not mean I will not use your body. Don't be confused! I may tie you, bind you, whip you, cage you, massage you, make you lick my feet, or whatever else I feel like, but, there will not be you putting your cock in me, showing it to me, or expecting me to touch it in any way, for any reason and you are not worthy of touching me without permission.

4) You must be willing to give of every part of yourself, to truly serve me: This means pain or pleasure of flesh, will power, time, energy, thought, knowledge and finances.

5) I never do strictly session work, even when the arrangement is to meet only at certain times or for certain purposes. Do not ever ask me to meet you for a session! The connection is very important. If you do not want this to be a relationship, then, find someone else.

6) My word is law. This is true whether you feel I am too reasonable or completely unreasonable in my demands. However i wish to do is how i will do. Part of how i will wish to do things is safely, sanely and in a consensual manner, though. It is your responsibility to be honest and forthcoming with information that will help me to do so.

7) I never pay for anything.  Hmm .. that may not be strictly accurate, but, it should be the expectation you have, coming into the relationship. If I say I want to use a flogger on you, then you will expect to purchase the flogger (unless you know I already have one); if I say  "Let's go to the movies." you will expect to pay for the movie. If I say "Come and shave my legs." you will bring the appropriate razor, soap or cream, towel, and bowl with you. It is that simple.

8)As I am very tired of having my valuable time wasted by online fantasists or people who say they want to meet for one reason and then show up for a different one, altogether, my rules for meeting are very strict. If we are discussing long distance service of any sort, it will only be discussed by messages into my inbox here and if we are discussing local service, it will only be discussed face-to-face.

If you want to be owned by me, all our discussions will be over a meal, after a movie, during a small shopping spree, or paid for by the hour. I'm done wasting my valuable time on people who say they want to serve, but. who never prove it by action If this is important to you, to be owned, you will court me and beg to serve.

End of story

  Outside of those parameters. above, I could think of many ways in which our lives could intertwine. Perhaps you'd like to be the gardener, who must wear nothing but tiny shorts and knows that when he is done with his work, he will be allowed to rest on the floor, laying on his stomach, with my feet upon his back. Or, would the gardener prefer to be caged? Whipped? Does he not care for these things and they would only be punishment for him?

  Perhaps you would enjoy coming over once a month and being wrapped in saran wrap, then shoved into a closet where you would lay, unable to move, knowing that I was out in the other room using your credit card (within an agreed upon spending limit) and there was nothing you could do about it. 

Maybe you'd like to be a live-in servant, or come over and serve at regular intervals, wherein you would be expected to bring, store and cook the groceries; clean; groom your Mistress; and entertain, which could be singing or dancing or it could be you getting spanked.

  Maybe, you like the idea of traveling to some other nearby town, spending a day together having a nice lunch, seeing the sites or enjoying whatever little festival they are having, then wondering off to a quiet bit of the outdoors where you will kneel before me so as to kiss and lick my feet? Or, would you like to be bent over the hood of your car and spanked?

Or, maybe - dare I dream - you are also open-minded and simply want to serve with your all, and would be happy in any of those scenarios and a hundred more, besides, that have run through your mind since you logged in and started reading. 

  Is any of this you? Are you open minded as to race, sex, age, height, religion, social class, country of origin of your owner or her friends? Can you live with or without most fetishes and situations, so long as you are allowed at least what you need to survive? Can you take punishment? Can you take reward? Can you be a slave who is on their knees, naked, whip-striped for no cause but my pleasure? With an audience? Is your will that strong? Can you take being allowed to sit at the same table as me and engaging in idle conversation? Did you actually read all of this? Did you read my profile? Then, understand that this is serous and all the parameters are fully serious. Don't bother me, at all, , if you can't live with them.

  BDSM is not a religion, nor is it a shameful thing to be hidden away. It is a philosophy: an explanation of the ways of human nature, embracing all walks and manners of living that life and rejoicing in the natural inclination of the individual human spirit.

  Some are for being enslaved, some are for owning; some are for leading, some are for following; some are for being beat, some are for beating; some just want to spend a little time wrapped up, away from the world, hanging on a hook or hidden in a closet. Well, isn't that just another form of meditation?

Dear s-types, idiots and whomever else wants to put their two cents in: Thank you very much for all your "kind" "advice", but, truth be told I have more than enough persons who ae just for playing around with, or who come over and do a little ligth service

every now and again, and I already have a man whom I am in love with, so I  no only do not mind  that my profile discourages the majority, but, I actively prefer it that way.

I do not care what you think of my looks, height, weight, experiences, the way I suddenly leave the site due to digust or the way I come back.

If you were someone whose opinion I cared for, you would make more sense, be less judgmental and shallow, and we would  be friends or you would be serving me.

End of story

Just learned something new, reading a profile of a submissive woman in Phoenix, and that is the word "fun-ishment."  That's pretty cool.

Righty! I am back. 

Iwant2useUnow

bbwBitchaz

BemyRMslave

SlavesNotToys

RqrCompanionS

TaskMistressAZ

SlaveRMneeded

mistressarletta

DangerousArt

midlifecrisisBBW

They say that the definition of insanity is doing the same thing, over and over, and expecting different results. Well, I am not insane! It's been proven in a court of law!  I don't do the same thing, over and over, like the people who put up one profile with one photo, with minimal writing, and leave that up for decades. Instead, I try something and if it doesn't work, I leave and try again, later. Later may be a day or two, a month, or longer, depending on mood and what else I have going on in my life.

If you bother to look at the profiles, by the way, not only will you see photos of me and be able to access journals that give you better insight, but, you may also notice that at least some of them will tell you when the last time I logged into that account was. One, for instance, says July of 2010.  Now, people will claim that I am using all these different profiles to scam people, but, thinking about it logically, I'm sure you will see that if I was using them to pretend to be other people, I would not mention that I had them in the past, admit that they are me, have photos of myself on several of them, and I would have logged in to all of them more recently than over 2 years ago! 

No, they are all still there due to a combination of disgust with the time wasters and fakes, and the increasingly vanllla "let's all fuck" atmosphere engendered by the action of lookie-lous and staff alike, and the laziness of the people who are meant to clean up this site. 

I tried to apply for a job with them, once, on grounds that I knew a lot of profiles that should be cleaned up and I had time to do it, but, they never responded back to me. So, what can be done? 

Read them or don't, that's what. But, I wish you lovely people would at least realize that this site is not about finding a new place to judge others, but, is meant to be a place where you can be free to be yourself without judgment from others. 

I'll do things my way while looking like I do. If you don't like it, that's fine. It's no reason to direct insulting missives at me, regarding my weight or how my accounts I allegedly have. I do not, in fact, have those accounts. I abandoned them in disgust, submitted a request for them to be deleted and left the site. There is no law about returning to the site, you know? As there is no law about being overweight. It's a matter of personal experience. 

The strange thing is, people who have no problem writing to me to tell me how I am and do everything wrong, feel that it is rude of me to block and/or hide their profiles. One is an aggressive act of bullying and the other is a method of streamlining the search process. Which is worse?  hahaha  .. whatever!

Guess this answers the question as to if I will be back or no. (sigh)  I looked around at so many different sites and this one is still, by far, the best one for actually meeting people, sad as that is to say. 

Other accounts I have had on here (that I remember are): 

madramblings

MyLifeMySlave

bbwBDSMuse

masterlymother

RhiannonBBW

obeyWORKlisten

BDSMREALITY

TucsonOnly

WontDriveMeCrazy

workLISTENobey

DoYouNeedHelp

I have to go now, so I can't finish what I was saying. The gist of it is that I am not on any of those accounts now, but, you might care to read them to learn things before you decide if you want to contact me.  And, that I requested every single one of those accounts be closed, so take it up with support if you want to bitch!

... to be continued ...