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Male Submissive, 39
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Male Submissive, 40, montreal
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Male Submissive, 32, Geneva
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About Esclava2one
I am seeking a play partner in my area. I am somewhat of a masochist and would like to find some one seeking a partner just for play. I am currently unable to be in service to anyone but would love a partner for occasional play, to help with my masochistic desires. |
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I have been away from site for a while preferring to hang out on other sites, but got bored the other day and decided to see what was going on here. To my surprise my profile was still active and I actually remembered my password, go figure.
The thing I noticed right away is that some of the "doms" on here seem angry for some reason. Another thing I noticed is that some of these "dom" person are downright rude and disrespectful. Being rude and appearing angry in your profile does not mean you are dominant, it just means you are a rude and angry person. Some of the profiles I read sent me running, instead of wanting to get to know the person behind the profile. No profile means run, a rude, angry profile means run, and a profile that requires the site to add another page, means you have way too much time on your hands.
So if you feel your profile is being passed up check to see how it is worded. Starting a profile out rudely or trying to showcase how dominant you are will get your profile passed up. Also a profile the length of "War and Peace" will probably go unread, you can give me your life history after we connect, but it is not something I care to read in a profile. Short and sweet is best, just my thoughts.
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I find it very odd the more honest you are with people, the less likely they are to send you a return email. I see lots complain about fakes and flakes, but when they run into someone real they bolt. Go figure. Doesn't really matter to me though, but just making the observation. Really would not want t be involved with anyone that prefers lies over the truth. If you want lies and half truths, then do not contact me. I will be very honest, as well as tell you what I think, if you can't handle that then don't bother contacting me. |
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I implore people to please read my profile in its entirety. Today I recieved an email that said, oh what the heck let me put it here, you know me, lol.
Fake, too many fakes, I sent you a message, you never replied, so it make me wonder, are you truly seeking a Master or Dom.
Now this person is an African American, so if he had read my profile, he would have seen this:
...........I prefer to have a Master/Mistress or play partner near my area who is either Caucasian, Asian, or Hispanic........
Ok, in my own evaluation of the above sentence, I realize the word prefer may throw a few people off. I could see how the word "prefer" could lead some to believe that if I do not find the person I seek in any of the above races that I could be persuaded to settle. So I am going to reword it to say: I would only be interested in ........ to see if that would make a difference, but if they do not read the profile, I guess it won't make a difference.
I know people see a pic they like and just decided to write, now although I rarely write anyone, if I see pic I like, I take the time to read the profile, to see if the person would even be remotely interested in me. Or sometimes there are things people say in their profiles, that I like and even if I know they would not be interested in me, I write them to comment on what they said. But when I do that, I let them know that, although I know they would not be interested in me just wanted to comment on what they said. I have actually made a couple of online buddies doing that, because they know I actually read their profile, people appreciate that, believe it or not. I have decided to just not respond to people that do not read my profile, so if you write me and it is obvious you have not read my profile do not expect a response.
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A while back and I published this on another site that I am a member of, but due to a recent exchange with someone trying to get me to meet them in their home I decided to publish it here as well. The person to which I am referring called me a fake and a flake because I refused to meet in the middle of the night at his home. He claimed he was on call 24/7 and in the middle of the night was the only time he could meet. When I asked him what is the difference between in the middle of the night and during the day if I never got a reply. Except to be told I am paranoid, angry a fake, a flake and filled with negativity.
People know that you are in charge of your own safety and remember that, never let anyone bully you into doing something you do not feel is right. Whether you are a dom or a sub always keep yourself safe. Don't just take someone at their word that they are safe and should be trusted. Anyone not willing to meet in public first is questionable in my opinion. But we are all adults here, in theory, we make our own choices, but make sure the choice you make in meeting someone is not the last one you are able to make. Now I know a public meeting does not always ensure that they won't turn crazy later, but hey at least if they are crazy in that first meeting you'll have witnessess.
SENDER It seems a guy ran an ad on craigslist wanting to loan you out.. or at least he used one of your pictures.... I spoke with him but he said you werent bi and I do alreasy have a slave.... and he thought I might be too severe for you in the pain department anyway...
RECEIVER This is odd i am not aware of anyone running an add of that nature concerning me. i have had two previous Masters and both were aware that i am indeed bi....... the only way i can tell to which you refer is if you can tell me around the time you read the ad.
SENDER it was around 6 to 8 weeks ago he placed it for someone else to use you then he said he was to meet you for the first time on a Sunday.. and then the ad was gone
RECEIVER Question, was it perhaps about 4 weeks ago? Because i indeed met someone on a Sunday....meeting for the first time to get to know one another. ......That would explain the reason why he was not aware of the fact i am bi.....
SENDER you are probably right on the timing what I didn't get was him wanting to loan you out for a "push your pain limits" and he had never played you
This is an email exchange i had yesterday with someone on CM. It took me a bit to decide if it was something i wanted to publish here because i was a bit embarrassed, to say the least, that i had let my guard down.
i realize now, how lucky i truly was to be having this exchange and that it was my duty to publish this exchange to those in a community, i love and have embraced, as a reminder. i made, what could have been, a fatal mistake, i became too comfortable with this person and decided to meet him too soon and it definitely could have ended tragically. i think we all must remember, whether dom or sub, to ask the right questions and always keep our safety of utmost importance, something i did not do.
i did meet in a public place, but i allowed myself to be taken to a place not so public, his home. i also neglected to secure a safe call. Something i very aware i should have done and very ashamed to admit i did not do. my total neglect and utter disregard for my own personal safety is inexcusable and again i am very lucky it turned out the way it did. i am still here to share this experience and hopefully it will help remind another, perhaps that was the purpose. The scariest part of all of it is, and i am sure it did not escape any of you, is that he wanted to "loan me out" to "push my limits". It gives me chills to think how horribly wrong this could have gone.
To be completely fair, i did contact the person that i am sure this email refers to, by email and phone message, and he declined to respond to either. Leading me to believe that the emails indeed have merit. Besides, there would not be any way for this person to know that i was to meet this person on a Sunday without prior knowledge. Doesn't really matter at this point, i will not make any further attempt to contact him, nor do i have any desire or need to do so. |
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Okay the creep has written me again, but not worth publishing, it just said f me and that I was ugly, so not much to make fun of in that one.
But the reason I am writing about him is that I finally decided to read his profile and found something very intresting. One his email writing skills are mirrored in his profile, two you won't believe this, he is looking for a white sub!!!! Now to be fair he did mention a black sub would be ok too, but that was thrown in as an afterthought. Then at the end of his profile he says: "I CANT WAIT TO HEAR FROM U SEXY BEAUTIFUL WHITE SUB/SLAVES THAT WANT TO BE PROTECTED AND LOVED AND TREASURED" No mention of the black subs he is looking for, I also noticed that all the friends on his profile are white. So not sure what the attack on me was all about. I mean if that is not the pot calling the kettle black, lol. (That is the first time I used that saying, and it has fits so well, lol)
So now I am assuming his attack on me was not about my choice and more about my rejecting him. Go figure. |
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 http://www.collarspace.com/htmlarea/smileys/0014.gif"> Ok Mister wonderful has written me yet again, I was going to publish his initial letter to me, but I deleted it. But just let me say this, the initial letter was all wine and roses, but when I asked him to go back and read my profile in its entirety, that is when he became a bit vicious. You know I am as nice and respectful as they come, but I am not a doormat and will defend myself. That being said here is the latest email he sent me and my response. Now I admit my response was a bit smart assed, but hey he deserves it. Now on to the comedy:
fuck u predjuice bitch i hope the white me fuck u over u will always be a njgger to them remember that ugly bitch
My response:
Before you use a word learn how to spell it, and perhaps even learn its meaning. I am not prejudice, I have a preference, and am entitled to that, just as you. I am not sure why you are so angry. Are you angry at the fact I do not care to have a black man has my dom? Or are you angry that I refuse to give you the time of day? If it is the first, are you angry with black men who only prefer to date white women? The fact you are impling that I only want a white man is money related, seems to suggest you believe all black men to be lacking. I for one, do not believe that to be the case. Nor do I feel to the need to refer to black men as n***ers. I love my black brothers and have nothing against them as a whole, just chose not to date them. Just as some of them have chosen not to date black women, and guess what, I am ok with that, just as many other back women are. Black men are no different than men of any other race, white included, there are those that are wonderful and then there are those that are jerks, guess which category you fall within(give you a hint, not the first)? I have dated outside and inside of my race since I was a teenager and have decided to pick one, it is unfortunate that people like you take issue with that, honestly I care not.
You are welcome to attack me as a person, my looks, my weight and what ever else you chose because my self esteem is such that I can handle it. You see those white doms you are putting down, have given me the courage and strength to stand up for myself and to appreciate myself for what and who I am. Perhaps you could learn a thing or two from them. Perhaps you need to get a bit a self esteem because I see you enjoy referring to yourself as a njgger.
I am done with you, poof, be gone!
I am the first to admit my response was bit childish and silly, but gosh some of the people here just tick me off, I mean really, get a life! Just because I rejected you does not mean for you to attack me. Heck, I myself have been rejected what I say to that is , next! I mean you are going to run across people everyday that do not like you for whatever reason, do you go around attacking them all? If that is the case, some of us would never get anything done, lol.
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http://www.collarspace.com/htmlarea/smileys/0251.gif">I so hate to keep harping on the the read the whole profile thing, but if I can get through to one person on the site, that would help, oh so many people.
My profile clearly states the fact I would be only interested in a Caucasian, Asian, or Hispanic Dom. I think I have been fair in stating that fact up front. Now, there have been some intelligent doms that have read my profile and have said to me, I wish I were your type, good luck in your search. Then there have been some, that have not read my profile at all, and when I ask them to read it in its entirety, I get responses idiotic responses like this: fuck u bitch u go fuck with a white boy u cant hadle a njgger , u will always be a njgger to them dont u ever forget that u ugly black hoe i see whi id never fuck with a njgger bitch all u are about is money and who can take care of u and your bay bay kids
Why, why, oh why? I could so understand if I lead someone on about my choice, and then at the last minute changed my decision, but again my preference is clearly stated in my profile.
Side note about this person. About two months ago someone mention his name to me and said look out should he contact you. She said he had contacted many women on this site and has a bad history. I paid it no mind and lo and behold, I guess, finally ran across my profile (which he did not read apparently) and wanted to try to reel me in to his trap.
I am not a smart mouth or a jerk, but I do have standards. Just because you try to feed me a line of crap, does not mean I am going to take it hook line and sinker. I do have a preference, (naturally, I am human) and someone triying to berate or belittle me into feeling bad about my preference, will not change my choice. We are all unique individuals with difference tastes, likes, and dislikes and need to be tolerant of and respect that about one another. Just because you are not my cup of tea, does not mean you are not for someone else, just as I am not for everyone. So if someone chooses not to accept your advance or offer of friendship just accept it as you are not their type and move on. No need to send rude, disrespectful, ugly emails. |
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I generally do not beg, but I am begging now. Please, please, Please read my profile, again there is a very pertinent piece of information, regarding the type of Dom in whom I would be interested. Also, if you are writing me, please don't brag about how wonderful you are, if you are so amazing, I am sure I will pick up on it. I honestly don't care about how much money you have, your professional stats, etc. If you feel the only way to grab a woman attention is thorough your wallet, then I am so not interested in you already. I do not care for emails where the opening begins something like this: If you would like to be my slave I want you to know I can take very good care of you, I have a big house by the lake, three cars, am a lawyer, blah, blah blah, etc. I want to know about you as a human, not as a bank account. I like men with heart, spirit, conversation, etc. In time you can share other things, but in general meeting conversation or email leave out all the money talk not neccessary. Heavens know I am not rich, but there are still those of us out here, even in this economy, who love people for who they are and not what they have. I am one of them. |
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You know, they should have a notice that says: "those who have just view your pic and not bothered to read your profile," lol. At least that would be more correct than those who have read your entire profile. Or perhaps one that says: "people who have read your profile and do not give a crap what it says and decided to contact you anyway." Come on folks read the profiles of those you chose to contact it would save lots of time and heartache. I mean, really, my profile clearly states a specific qualification for a dom that I would be interested in, yet....... Then I get blasted for rejecting someone who does not meet that very specific qualification, which by the way is non negotiable, only Caucasian, Hispanic, or Asian doms, am I interested. If they would have just read the profile they would not be upset or offended. |
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I have only met a couple of people in person from this site and for the most part it was good. Until now, I somehow allowed myself to be taken in by a nut job. I mean this guy did a total Dr Jekyll on me, but luckly I came out unscathed. Since we are not allowed to give out names and such let me just say this, there are some assets better left unobtainable. If you would like to know more just ask. This is a networking site and I feel there is someone in the network that poses a threat, he or she should be outed. That being said, again if you would like to know more about Dr. J and Mr. H ask me. |
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I met someone from here last night for dinner and had an awesome time.? You know finding someone on here at times that has a brain and is able to hold my attention is a bit trying.? Not to say it's not possible, it's just those people are few and far between. You can be awesome in an email, but you have to be able to carry it through in person.?Nothing is worse than meeting someone in person and all you can think about is,?is there a window in the bathroom to make your escape, brutal, lol.? So I am delighted to say that thought never crossed my mind.?? http://www.collarspace.com/htmlarea/smileys/0493.gif"> DON'T YOU BELIEVE IT! TURNS OUT HE WAS A CLEVERLY DISGUISED NUT JOB!!!! DAMN ONE FLEW UNDER THE RADAR! Actually there were cues, but ignored them. Never again, will follow my instincts next time. |
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It has been a while since I have written in this journal, but I felt compelled to do so today. I only chose to do so because of some to the emails I have received. Now I would post a couple, but that annoys some people, although I am not sure why, since no one is holding a gun to their head requiring they read them. Anyway, I am not really writing about insensitive emails this time. I am speaking more on the assumptions people have when writing. Some have assumed when writing to me that because I am black, I want to be written to in slang or I am sent messages like "hey ma," huh? I will not respond to emails that contain those words or those that are written entirely in slang. Not being rude, but if you met me in public with that approach I would not give you the time of day. Also my being a masochist has nothing to do with my sex drive, or sex in any way.
The lifestyle is not about sex for me. For some it is, and if that is your thing then it is, but for me it is way more than that. For me it is more about the connection between Master and sub. A connection that can lead to sex, but the connection is way more important to me. To feel someone in your soul, your heart, your head, your very breath, is amazing. To have someone in your life, that you can trust with your very life, is beautiful and can't be match with anything, including sex. That is the type of connection I am seeking from a Master, sex I can get any day of the week at anytime, but that connection..... |
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This is an email i sent to someone who claim that he was better than my Master, although he knows not who my Master is, or anything about him. Since if i use his name, my post willl be removed as it is with all the emails that are written by cowards who spout off their mouths and then block you. Basically the guy said he could control me better than my Master. This was coming from some 30 year old wannabe. Here is my response to his say he was better looking, sexier, and could control me better.
Oh i see, so you know my Master do you? The fact that you feel the need you have to sell yourself in that manner tells me you are usure of your actual dominance and in fact shows me just how young you are truly. my Master has never once told me how great He is because it is evident in all he does. In just hearing His voice over the phone, the urge to kneel overtakes me, the same is true even in a text message. The lifestyle is more than about sex and looks. The connection i have to my Master transcends all of those things, pehaps it would do you good to have a mentor such as He.
Upon his recieving this, his reply was to call me a nasty, n****, ghetto b****, and then block me, wtf! The fact that he chose to respond to me in such a manner proves the point that he, indeed, is not a Master. He can not evern control himself, but tries to tell me he is able to control me? Before you call yourself a Master be sure you are able to master yourself!
Just because i identify myself a slave i am not a doormat and have a head and an opinion. If you choose to contact me disrespectfully, expect the same disrespect in return. i am a very opinionated person and will speak my mind if provoked, so if you do not want be on the receiving end then do not email me with nonesense and foolishness. The strange thing is, they contact me, and when i do not respond the way they would like, they talk trash. Then when i get the best of them, they call me nasty names and block me, huh? i rarely contact anyone here and if i do it will be to comment on something they said in a positive way. i have never felt the need to contact someone disrespectfully. And those i have blocked i have only done so, after they have disrespected me.
UPDATE: i received yet another email from this jerk, calling me a black b***h. i did not block him initially because i was hoping he would write back so i could give him a good piece of my mind, but no he call me the nasty name and kept me block like the apparent coward he is, i block him this time though, he bores me, *yawn*
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Ok, i have now been called a smarta** and not a true slave. i agree, i have a smart mouth, and what some may perceive as a bad attitude for a slave, but i will not apologize for having a brain. Slaves, if they are not doormats have the ability to think and act. i will only humble myself before my Master and i would hope that my Master woud not want me to be a doormat. i refuse to dumb myself down in order to fit someone elses' mold of what a slave should be. i do not kneel before anyone except my Master and anyone He requires i kneel before. i will not call anyone master or sir who has not earned that respect, besides i do not know you so how do i know you deserve that respect?
Perhaps i should shut my mouth and keep my opinion to myself when on this site, because some "masters" egos are being crushed. i only wish i had the ability to do so. Naw, forget it, i am who, i am and to keep my mouth shut would quell the essence of who i am, not worth it. |
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An excerpt from my most recent journal entry.
This was written as a reflection, my birthday is approaching and this is my reflection on the changes in my life since my last birthday.
But to focus just on my journey as a slave, i realized i have grown so much. i have gained a better definition of what being a slave means to me and also the type of slave i would like to be. i haven't got it nailed down 100% and i don't believe i ever will, but i am closer now, than i was a year ago. i have been able to see that me and my slave self are absolutely one and the same, does that make sense? And that neither could survive without the other. i have noticed that in my day to day activities my slave self is ever present and knowing this has made me stand a little taller, and makes me approach my day to day life with a confidence i never thought possible. In this year i realized that i had to throw out everything i thought a slave to be and sort of revamp my definition. Still working on that one too, but i can say that i now know that any choice my Master makes for me, or anything He has me do is done out of love and respect, even in punishment, something i did not realize before.
It is nice to know now, what i have been missing in my life for all these years, even if i just stumbled upon it. In this reflection, i realized that all the power i have in my life, power that is quite necessary in the day to day running of my life, i truly do not want. For me to even type that sort of scares me, but i think it has been the case in my life for a very long time, but i could not put my finger on that being a central issue in my life. When with my Master relinquishing all control to Him is something i love, crave and absolutely could not live without. Unfortunately, ours is not a 24/7 relationship, because our prior lives prevent that from being the case, but perhaps one day. Should that ever occur that would require a whole new level of release, but i am more open to that now, than, you guessed it, i was a year ago. In fact, the thought of being completely under His control and under His command at all times, somewhat excites me.
Coming to these realizations, makes this a very happy birthday for me indeed.
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This is a part of something i wrote on another site, for some reason i felt compelled to post it here. i guess it's because i get so many emails from doms telling me what they can do for me and i want to show what a true Dom has done for me. Maybe He will read this and recognize Himself in this writing and know how very grateful i am. i want Him to know the things He has done for me continue to enrich me to this day.
"i want to submit and will submit to someone with everything i have and am, but only if i can keep the essence of who i am. After all, the reason i was chosen was for that very essence. i want a Dom, who while making me everything he needs me to be for him, makes me everything i need to be for me. A Dom should find your weaknesses and help you build them into strengths. Find the things you hate about you and make you love them. Doing this not only serves him, but also serves you. The relationship should beneficial to both of you. For instance, i hated taking pictures. i had a Dom, after learning this required me to take a picture of myself with my cell and send it to him everyday. At first i thought i could never do this, nor did i want to, but because i made a commitment to Him i did it. Now all that needs to be said is let's take a picture, and i am in the front row(even though i still hate my smile). Having me do that not only helped me see that i was not as horrible looking in pics as i thought, but gave me a self confidence that helped me become better for Him. Another task He had for me was to write, i had to send Him an email everday either about my day or on a topic He had decided upon. Yes i graduated from high school and no i do not need a teacher, but because of this i have improved my vocabulary, and have become a more eloquent speaker. How did this benefit Him? Again it improved on my self confidence and also helped with my self esteem because i was no longer unsure about speaking with other people in and out of His presence. i do not know what prompted me to write this, if it makes sense, if it is a complete thought or even if all that has been written even connects(i refuse to go back and check it's late), just basically draining my brain, so to speak."
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You are some fruit cake are you not? You have written me before and i shot you down then and will do it now, you have no clue about the lifestyle and need some direction in that regard. Here is your previous letter to me and my response, file it for future reference so you will not contact me again with such foolishness. In fact, your letter is featured in my journal.
This is an email i sent to a nut job who wrote me with the same exact email (7/2009). Nothing was changed, it was like it was copied and pasted. If you are going to email someone twice at least have enough common sense to change it up a bit . i guess he thought i was as loony as he and would not recognize the email. Oh well whatcha gonna do?
UPDATE: The idiot sent me a follow up email mail telling me i was full of s**t and then blocked me! WTF! i guess he was just angry that i called him out. |
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i have not been on this site for a bit and now i know why i stopped coming here, i hate dick pics, that is not the only reason, but part of it. i find those to be the most disgusting pics ever posted online. Please do not send them to me or ask me to view your profile pictures that are littered with them, because once i see even one i will stopped viewing and block you. i know some of you probably would not care, but just stating the truth. i am on here to meet a potential owner, not to meet for casual sex, that i can get in a bar, grocery or CL no need to come here. I am here for a very specific reason and it is not casual sex. i am not a slut, i am a slave. But even as a slave, i deserve respect and will ask for nothing less, and your sending me or requesting i view your dick pics, to me is beyond disrespectful. In writing you, i would treat you with respect the same that i expect from you. You do not know me nor do i you, so do not assume anything.
Oh yeah, do not write me demanding that i call you sir, master, daddy, obi wan konobi, etc. You do not own me and that respect needs to be earned, it is not freely given. |
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Ladies and gentlemen another email of the strangest kind. What do sane people think of this, if you choose to email me in response to this please be, what is the operative word, sane.
I am a brutally sadistic owner seeking a female for permanent 24/7 absolute slavery, with no limits.(Anyone who would agree to anything with no limits needs their head examined.)I will keep the property I own naked, collared, leashed, plugged, hooded and caged when I am not using it ,(i wonder if i would be allowed food and water, Hmmm? Put that on list of things to ask.) I will mark, pierce, scar and brand you as property.
I will force you (What happened the consent part of the relationship?) to become a fully functioning human toilet, you will be forced to eat my shit and drink my piss upon command. ( i know some people are into this, for me it' an eewwww, but again what happened to consent?)
I will beat, torture, rape and degrade you on a daily basis. (Sounds like fun!Where do i sign up?) You will have no life outside of slavery, you will have no contact with anyone or anything for any reason. Once you agree to become my property, you will never see or speak to family or friends again, (i will never give up my family or friends for anyone, ever! i want to serve but i know nothing of you and my family will be there long after any relationship, besides that is just creepy, my family and friend are just suppose to think i fell off the face of the earth?) you will have no possessions, no rights, no priviledges, no money, no job and no responsibility other than serving me in every way, shape and form that I desire.
You will be less than human, you will be an animal, (Sorry prefer to remain human was born that way, what he suggests, i hope, is worst than any sane person would treat an animal)an object that I can do anything I want to. Your life will be filled with agony, pain, abuse and the most inhuman treatments you can imagine.(this person has lost his mind)
I am very serious and sincere in this, this is not a game and you had better understand that if you decide to be under consideration to me, that things will progress as they should((i love this! He has already decided there is a love connection so that part of the relationship has been taken care of so don't worry. Whew! That would be a load off of anyones shoulders, having to get to know someone is such a pain.) and you will belong to me, heart, mind, body and soul.(i not sure i understand this statement, i think he believes he can also force someone to love him. Maybe what he means by heart and soul is that since your heart and soul are in your body and he has your body he owns it. tadaaaa!)
If I own you, you shall never be released, you shall serve as a slave until the day you die.(again consent is gone and as well as the ability to renegotiate the contract.)
Isn't this just creepy? i have to give him one thing though, he is up front about what he wants, so if you are crazy, insane, not working with a full deck, out of your mind, etc. and go with him then you know the rules. But this is still a wow! i can't imagine giving up my family for anyone, i mean really? If there is someone who would go for this they may want to consider psychiatric treatment. He should too seek treatment. Please do not write me telling me this is a to each his own thing, because if you have a friend who is willing to be involved in anything this extreme, you are not a true friend if you do not seek help for them. This is not a lifestyle or love choice, to go with him or even consider going with him, would be a cry for help and a suicide attempt. IMO of course. All together now: SAFE, SANE AND what? CONSENSUAL |
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How many people are tired of the braggers and fakes? Those that pretend to be doms that have not a clue, those that could not dominate a cockroach. Those who do not know the meaning of a command verses a demand. i ran into such a person someone who at one point, told what a fabulous dom they were, and how they could control me.That all others who tried to control me were weak and were not men (that is funny on so many levels), but they had the right stuff. So i said what the heck go for it. Well turns out he could not dominate me, had no skill in that area and even complained well when i tried to dominate you, you would not let me, wtf. Let me tell you something you are either dominant or not, no two ways about it. i have found that when in the presence of a true dom you will always know it, he does not have to tell you that he is a dom and he can control you. i can tell by a simple email who is dominant and who would like to be. There is nothing wrong with wanting to be a dom, that is the begining you have to first want it. But saying you are a dom does not make is so. Being able to swing a flogger or use a paddle does not a dom make. |
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Here is an email i received today, and my response, tell me what you think. Am i wrong in my answer?
i'm looking for a slut that will take all i give her with love, trust and dedication. but don't let that fool you, i'll treat you like shit and worse. my dream is that i have 3, 4 slavegirls and i'll marry a Domme/slavegirl switch who will serve me and dominate the other slavegirls she and i will own together email me
Now i did not use his name and such because this was not a rude email just a misguided one.
My response:
Thanks for emailing me, but apparently you did not read my profile. Also i would never want to be with a master that treats me like shit or worse, i could only serve one that treats me with respect, the same respect i will show him. i think you have this whole thing a bit twisted maybe you should get yourself a mentor, one that is proven, to teach you the truth about the lifestyle. When you have a slave girl you must not only teach her to serve you, teach her to love and respect herself. A master is never to tear his slave girl down, but build her up.
Best wishes,
esclava
First off i am not sure why anyone would send and email to anyone calling them a slut, whore, cum slut, or etc. You do not know me so do not assume i like to be called those types of names, by the way i do not. i did not choose this lifestyle because i wanted to be abused, i chose it because i want to serve nothing more, nothing less. What my master choose to call me in private his is choice, but in public i expect to be treated with respect. If you choose to email me contact me with respect, the same respect you expect from me.
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Here is the email i received from MITE69 that prompted me to write the previous entry.
Hello, I own a resort where blacks like yourself get dominated by white men and woman. We do pay nig-gers like yourself. Please let me know if this interests you. E mail me at undergroundsecret a t yahoo
dot com
My response:
Are you an idiot? Why in the heck would you send me an email calling me a nig-ger not even knowing if i like such a thing? By the way i do not! Consider yourself block a** wipe!
Now i do not know why this person chose to message me again or even how he/it was able to circumvent the block, but this is what was sent back:
nig ger nig ger nig ger
This i will not respond to except in this journal entry. Now i am not sure if i will be in trouble for posting this in my journal nor do i care. What is up with people like this? i answered the email, in what i thought, was a basically whatever do not contact me again manner. i guess this person was not happy with my response to their rude and crude email. Whateva! If you chose to send me such emails know that i will out you, with your screen name and anything that was written, so that it may be read by anyone who choses to read my journal, if outing you is something you prefer not to happen, then do not send me this type of email. i am not sure if it is against site rules, but if so, then sending these types of emails to other users should be too. No worries these type emails have no effect on me, they are just annoying to say the least and reminds me that the world is still full of idiots.
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i am not sure how some of the people on this site get dress by themselves in the morning! Why in the devil would someone send emails with racial slurs assuming i like that sort of thing? Are they just being jerks or are they just complete idiots? Never assume that anyone likes to engage in racial play without asking them first. And in case you have not figured it out as of yet, i do not! Try sending an email introducing yourself without being rude, or crude! Try sending an email without asking for nude photos of me and without tons of misspellings. i do not know you or even what you are about just to go around passing out nude photos of myself. Just because i am on this site does not mean i am a slut! i am here to meet like minded people and not trolls or idiots. Well at least the people that send emails of that calibur make the weeding out process much easier. It's just sad that i have to waste my time on such garbage!
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Now that i have decided to return my collar of consideration and made it public, i have started receiving emails once again from prospective doms. i am not at this time actively seeking a new master, but again if it happens it happens. Right now i really prefer to work on me as a person and my feelings about my role as a slave. That being said, if you decide you would like to message me anyway, please do so with the ability to spell. i hate decoding emails! A dictionary is a great tool to aid in that and since you are online, there are actually online dictionaries. Not trying to be rude, but just one of my pet peeves.
esclava |
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I am not sure why people tend to message people without reading their profiles first. i swear if i get one more message asking if i am still looking for a dom i will scream! my profile clearly states (i double checked to be sure and just copied exact statement here): "At this time i am no longer available for training, due to the fact, i have recently received my collar of consideration.". I am not sure what is so confusing about that statement. So i guess i need to put it in terms almost anyone with a brain can understand: i am no longer looking for a dom. i hope that helps, i doubt it will though. But what did i really expect? i mean when my profile clearly stated i was only looking for a Caucasian, Hispanic, or Asian dom, i got so many emails from African American doms asking if i had found a dom yet. Come on people before you send a email actually read the profile. Some people even get offended when you turn them down because they do not meet the qualifications you specified. To save everyone the heartache and drama read the profile! |
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Hello all,
i have so many emails to answer so i decided to send a blanket message in my journal. my computer has been down for a couple of weeks so i have not had the ability to respond to any emails. i generally answer all my emails even if it is just to say thanks, but no thanks. So i plan to answer each and everyone over the next couple of days. If you sent me an email around the time my computer died please excuse my late response. |
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Hello all i am sorry i have to come to you with another pitiful email exchange. It is not all that much that has been said, but some people are just sad. I post this in the hope it will help just one idiot, lol.
The emails start off pleasant enough:
hello slave. lovely pictures, i wanna know about you and see more of your picture
i am guessing there is an email after this one that may have said something to the effect of what would you like to know:
Him:
about yout your bdsm experience, your limits, fetish and expectations are you into race play... e.t.c
My response:
i have been in the lifestyle for about a year, i have found as far as limits go i am not all too sure what those are at this point. i do have a few hard limits though, scat, watersports, age play and diapers. Definitely not into race play.
Him:
i want to see more of your pics
Now here is where things start to turn, because you see, since i do have a life, i did not respond to the last email i guess in what i guess he believed to be a timely fashion. Still sort of pleasant but can tell he is a little annoyed.
i asked to see more of your pictures. did you get my message?
Now the last email and my response,
all you ni****** are the same & stupid. Ni*****!! (i am sure we all know what the actual word is, but for the fear of censorship....., now you may be wondering why there appears to be too many stars. Well his spelling of the word contains two i's and 2 g's).
I honestly do not know why i am responding to your email, other than to help my fellow man, but here it goes anyway. Judging by your comment and your childlike outburst, i beg to differ with who is the stupid one here. i must tell you name calling when you do not get your way is not the mark of a true master at all, and until you figure that out you will alway be without a person to offer you the gift of service. The Masters i have dealt with have all been kind, considerate and have never at any time tried to make feel less than what i am. A true Master at all times builds their subs/slaves up to make them better people and never try to tear them down with name calling and the like. Each of them i have had the pleasure of serving have made me a better person in one way or the other. They all always treated me like a lady, even in punishment. When in their company i have always felt special, something that i am able to carry with me even when not in their presence. So you see, name calling does not affect me in the least because i know i am a great person, and also know that the only reason you are saying this is because you will not have the opportunity to experience my greatness. If your usual method of getting what you want is name calling and childlike outburst, good luck with that. i wish you all the best in your search for the doormat you seek. i say this with all i have because people of your callibur need all the help they that can be afforded to them. By the way, you need to check the spelling of the derogatory terms you chose to use prior sending them in an email or letter. i will be posting our email exchange in my journal so look for it. Oh wait, i am not sure if you will be able to look at my journal after this because in case you have not figure it out already, you have been blocked!
Collarme should have an idiot filter, but it probably would not work because it appears these people can walk around undetected at times, lol.
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Has been a while since i have written here, been a little busy, but plan to start writing more. i try to devote most of my time on to answering emails. i will give a small update on what has been happening lately, for those who are interested. i have been spending time with a potential Dom. He has been introducing me to the local bdsm scene and training me at the same time. i am still answering emails from others, since W/we have not decided, at this point, to move forward in our relationship. i can say though, He has taught me a lot about myself in the time W/we have spent together and introduced me to things i have never experienced. i guess the biggest thing He has taught me is that my limits are far fewer than i ever knew. He has also given me the courage to try new things. You see i am a creature of habit and kinda like the familiar, new things throw me off balance. But through His gentle pushing and encouragement i am not longer afraid to come out of my box and try different things. He always treats me like a lady and even though i am a slave and He identifies me as such, He does all the things a true gentleman should, such as opening doors and the like. Even when He has me bound in the most unflattering postions, i feel like a lady. my journey, at this point, has taken me through many twists, turns and situations, some good, some bad, but i can honestly say i have learned a lot about me through every one. i would not trade those experiences for anything. Those lessons have been very important to me in the development of my slavery. i still have oh so much more to learn, and am so excited about what is to come next, again be it good or bad because i believe all experiences have a place in my life and development. So the saga continues............ |
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Although I do not have to, I feel I need to offer some sort of explaination. I have been receiving alot of emails in reference to my being collared, released, collared and under contract and then released again, all within a short period of time and why there was such a yoyo effect with my former master and I. As I basically stated in an earlier journal entry, time and distance was truly our enemy. He live about 70 miles from me and our work hours just never seemed to connect. The distance itself was not a problem for me it was more the time availability issue, I would have travelled to the moon to see him. When we would plan to meet he would have to work an unscheduled time or I would have to work overtime. We had separated before, due to basically the same thing, but truly thought this time the obstacle could be overcome. But alas it could not ( a little dramatic I know, but always wanted to use it in a sentence, lol). Because I was under contract i could not ask for release myself, but it was offered to me. He gave me the opportunity to reevaluate our relationship and decide if I felt it was something I still wanted, I decided I did not. Although I love him having to spend so much time apart was killing me. He realized this and like a true master he offered me release. Being released was not something I truly wanted, but he and I both knew that the time and distance issue was hampering my ability to progress as a slave. So contrary to the belief of a certain email writer, I was not played. Sometimes people have property they will never have adequate time to appreciate and enjoy, but still want to hang on to it, because it belongs to them. I was my masters property because he is not a selfish person he chose to let the me go to be used and appreciated by someone who had the time to do so. Again a true master. Although it will not be with him, I will continue my journey. I only hope to find someone who is as caring and kind as he. Someone who has the the ability to teach me about myself, while allowing me to serve him. I know he is out there and I will continue to search until we finally meet. This is my destiny, this is who I am. |
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Here is the email that prompted the writing of my last journal entry (notice the spelling of the word racist):
perhaps if you werent a rasist things wouldnt be hard theres nothing wrong with men of any color like your father and grandfather and brothers.......no reply is needed
My response:
I apologize if my personal preferences conflict with yours (not really). I like what I like, I do not consider myself a racist by any means. Although you state no reply is needed, I certainly feel it is required, for I do not appreciate being called a racist. If the tables were turned I would not consider you a racist. Before you label someone make sure you know them and do not throw blanket terms around. Are you also sending emails to African American doms who only want slaves that are any race but African American?
I did not attack him in any way ( ok I admit the underlining of the word racist was a little passive aggressive).
His reply:
you are a simple bitch and you will get what you deserve by white men to be played over and over again stay black
When I tried to reply this ( although I am not sure why I thought I should entertain such stupidity), he had the nerve to have me blocked! You know what they say if you can't stand the heat then don't send the email. I don't think that is right, wait it's then stay out of the kitchen. lol
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If you would like to send me an email stating that I am a racist, (first be able to spell it) because I choose not to have an African American master, please restrain yourself. I have received a few emails stating that fact, which by the way is untrue. I am a human and who I choose to spend my time or life with, has nothing to do with anything less than personal perference. I do not fault anyone for their personal perferences and I ask that I do not be faulted for mine. |
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my Master and i have separated. Not due to insubordination or nothing of the sort, i am a good girl. It was just O/our schedules and the distance was more than the relationship could handle. i love Him dearly and will miss Him terribly, but hope to remain friends. i always talk about people being in your life for a purpose and a time and maybe His purpose in my life has been fulfilled. Although i am a little sad, i feel i have been enriched by Him, as you can well see by my previous entries. i know a few are wondering if i love Him so much how can i be looking for a new Master so soon? For me this is a journey, one i would like to continue, sure i would like it to be with Him, but the relationship has ended, not my journey. i hope to find the one person who is able to travel with me long term. |
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Today i was thinking about my Master and what He has done for me. He makes me feel like i am the most beautiful person in the world. Since meeting Him my self esteem is way up and the feeling like i can do anything has skyrocketed. The self confidence i have gained is amazing. Some may say i just got there on my own, but i beg to differ. My Master has shown me my inner, as well as my outer beauty, something i never saw on my own. i used to hate to be photographed, but now show me the camera. This came about because at one time my Master required that i send Him a photo of myself everyday. First it was as soon as i woke up, prior to make-up and such. After a while He let it be my choice. When viewing the photos i realize i did not look as bad as i thought i did, in fact i am kinda cute, lol. At this time if anyone saw my cell they would think i am conceited because i have tons of pictures on it and they are all of me. My clothing choices have changed dramatically also, before i would find the biggest baggest pieces of clothing to wear and to be honest i really did not care how i looked when going out in public. i did of course comb my hair and the like but as for makeup and clothing, i did not really give much thought to them. But now all my clothes have to fit perfectly and show off the best features of my body and i would not be caught dead in public looking a mess. i do have to say that for me took alot of getting used to but now i love it! i think some of it i can attribute to myself, but i would have never gotten there without my Master. He requires that i always look my best when in public, without this requirement i would still be dressing the same way. His rules mean alot to me and even though W/we are a bit of a distance apart i follow them. i always want my Master to be proud of me and my public appearance is a part of that. He has to be proud to be seen in public with me, but i also want Him to have that same pride when W/we are alone. Some people seem to believe that this lifestyle is all about one person wanting the ability to tear another person down and make them feel like nothing. i have found that not to be the case, if my Master spent all His time making me feel like nothing, i would be of no use to either of U/us. In this lifestyle you have to have a great sense of who you are, or you are doomed to failure. my Master has shown me who i am and what i am capable of, in the end that is what is all about. Do i get punished, yes, but never without knowing why. Have i had to do things that were contrary to what i believe and was prepared for, of course. But not with force, cohersion, fear, or anything remotely close to that. With every new element my Master adds to O/our sessions the more i realize my potential, not sure how or why it works, but is just does. i love my Master and never want to disappoint Him, so i will always strive to do my best to please Him. i have discovered in my efforts to please Him, i have become a better person for me. |
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This past Thursday i went to see my Master and it was one of the best days of my life. On this day i was collared and placed under contract. It was exciting and scary all at the same time. During the day prior to going to His home i was a little apprehensive about the whole situation. It was not the idea of the collaring, it was the contract. To me the implications seemed great. Was i truly ready to commit myself to this life as i thought. On the drive over to His home i was in deep thought, but the closer i got the more i realized this was really what i wanted. i love my Master, trust Him completely and although some of the conditions may appear harsh to an outside person, to me they made perfect sense. This is the life i decided i wanted and if i truly want to commit to it, it means commiting to everything that comes along with it. On the way over He said He had a task for me to complete. The task for me to go into an adult video store and peruse the videos and toys. i was stay in there for 15 minutes and if i were approached or asked any questions i was to say i was there at the request of my Master. i have never been in an adult video store in my life and i was terrified at the thought. Well, i did not complete the task because the video store was situated in such way i could not figure out how to get to it, needless to say Master was not pleased. upon arriving at my Masters house i was given instruction to proceed to the bedroom and sit on the edge of the bed and await further instruction. When He came into the room i was told to undress in front of Him, which is something i have never done before, usually i would undress prior to His entering and i have to admit it felt a little strange, i am not sure why. i guess it may be because He was standing there watching me and i made me feel a little self conscious. i was then told to kneel and was asked if this is what i wanted. Of course i said yes, i was removed the collar that i had been asked to wear and He placed His collar around my neck. i almost felt like i could not breathe and even writing about it sort of makes my heart race and makes me a little breathless. It was then time to sign the contract, He asked me yet again if this what i wanted to do and if i had any questions or concerns regarding it. i said no and signed my life over to Him, amazing. The first spanking after that my Master hit with a force He had never used before and it hurt like hell. The strikes after that were pretty much the same with varying degrees of pain and also varying objects. The most painful being the switch and crop. i have to say it was a very emotional night for me. This night is also the first time i had sex with my Master. Even though i had been in His presence a few times prior to this He had always denied me this pleasure. i do not have the proper words to describe my feelings at that moment. i was very emotional and even cried. my Master asked why was i so emotional and i could not explain it then and still can't. It was just for me an experience like none other. His giving this gift to me was very unexpected and so amazing. i feel like i am going on and on without saying anything, i do not believe there are not words in the English language that can describe the feelings. For me this was a really personal experience and i really did not want to discuss it here because i felt i would lose the moment. But at the request of my Master, i did so. i realize now that nothing or no one can take that moment away from me and will always remain in my heart. i do not imagine that moment will ever be repeated in this life nor do i want it to be. It was very special to me and when you find something so exceptional you want it to be the only one, like a precious work of art. Something to be cherished and appreciated, but never duplicated. Not to say that O/our next time will not be memorable, it just will not be the first. When leaving His home i felt a little dazed, if not confused. i was not sure what i was feeling or why, is guess the whole night had just drained me emotionally. i know i made the right choice and will not look back. As i have said before and continue to say, i belong to Him and have felt that way since W/we met. |
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Hello to all,
i have been given a task to find a person for my Master and i for O/our next session. i have ten days to accomplish this and am not really sure how to go about it. Any suggestions would be helpful. He would prefer a female, but is ok with the person being male. If you happen to be interested please email me. He is giving me the opportunity to find this person, if not He will chose and His having to do so will not make Him happy. And His being unhappy is not a good thing. So again any suggestions or interest will be welcomed. |
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i am sure some of you are wondering how i am going back and forth between being owned and unowned. It is a somewhat complicated matter which would take more space to explain than i am given and more time than i am willing to spend on the issue. i have returned to my previous Master, someone i should have never been without and hope to never be without again. i love Him completely and my search to replace Him was futile. What He has given me and what He means to me can never be replaced. He set the bar so high of what i ultimately wanted in a Master, no one i met or spoke with, was able to attain. i appreciate all the emails and interest in me, but i am back where i truly belong. i belong to Him mind, body soul and heart and i feel a part of me always will no matter what the future holds for U/us. |
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Ok, please no not send me pics of you male anatomy. Does nothing for me and i find it repulsive. Also sending me such pics tells me nothing about you and may actually work against you. What if i find it tiny or misshapened, then what? You have put your worst feature forward, at least if i had met you first we could work around the other, but with that being my first vision you are screwed. i mean honestly what does one think i would enjoy about such a pic, they haven't a personality, they can't smile, they just kinda lay there or stand at attention, really not attractive at all. i don't think women get the same feeling looking at the male anatomy as men get looking at ours, but maybe i am in the minority on that one. So again i implore you, do not send me pics of your anatomy, you will be blocked. No matter the lifestyle i have chosen, i expect to be treated with respect, the same respect you would want someone to give your mother or sister. i in turn will treat you with respect. Should we get to the point that we decide to forward such pics to each other then great, but prior to that, do not assume anyone would enjoy receiving such a pic. |
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Once again i find myself unowned. What's a girl to do? This time it was due to time and distance, that is why i put the remark about those two things in my profile. Now i think the ps in my profile is rubbing potential Doms the wrong way. i refuse to change it though. i mean honestly if you cannot take two seconds to do spell check, how am i suppose to trust you with my life. i know it seems simple and petty, but to me it makes a difference. i mean how many times have you refused to go to a business because you found one thing out of place. Maybe it's just me, but that irritates me. How can you run a business with misspellings in your signs, letterhead, flyers, etc. Little details make a difference, they show you care about the way you present yourself and how you will treat me as a customer. i feel the same way about potential Doms. When writing or meeting someone you should always put your best foot forward. If you send me an email filled with misspellings and tons of grammatical errors, my first impression is, are you illiterate? If you do not know how to spell a word ask someone in the room or get a dictionary. I mean honestly when the word "dominant" is misspelled in your profile, give me a break the word is written all over this site! Now i know i have left myself open for careful scanning of all my posts and journal entries to see what mistakes i make and i am sure i make plenty. i at least try to make sure i do not, i use a dictionary or thesarus when i write. Ok, enough of my soap box on this subject. Please do not be put off by that statement in my profile or think that i am a smart a**. i have a strong desire to serve and believe it is my station to serve. i am willing to serve the right person tirelessly. |
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Last week was my first week in the presence of my Master. Although i have been with Him for a bit now our contact has been primarily through email, text, or phone, so up until Wednesday of last week i had not been with Him physically.
On the drive to His place i was excited, but a little apprehensive and several times i felt i should turn back, but knew i would not. Upon arriving at His home, i found a note on His door with my instructions, even at that point i was thinking i should not continue or if i was losing my mind for doing this. But do to O/our many conversations i knew i was safe and that this is where is was suppose to be.
i entered and follow the instructions, but as i began to kneel ( He was not in the room when i entered and i was blindfolded) i began sorta freaking out. i think the main thing i was feeling was what is He did not like me in person or what if i did not live up to his standards, i could not bear the thought of His rejecting me when i was already so into Him.
He appeared beside me and almost instantly i felt at ease, His voice is basically all i really needed, He reassured me i was safe and that is where i belonged. If i had left there at that moment with just His voice in my ear and His touch on my back that would have been enough. Maybe the thing i was frightened of the most was the punishment i was in for because i had not completed all my tasks as assigned or had completed them in an untimely fashion.
The first strike was all i can say a shock. i honestly had no idea what to expect, but whatever it was it was not that. The one thing i noticed was that He asked me why i was receiving the punishment and waited for my response before continuing. Although it was painful it made sense. The whole time i was there was not steeped in pain and i really enjoyed being in His presence.
i did not know what to expect on the emotional side either, i can not believe i actually cried and it was not from pain but from the joy of being with Him. i believe my decision to submit to Him was the right one and i am excited that i have, He has a kind gentle nature like i have never seen. i was with Him for like two hours and i felt like just a second. When leaving i felt weak and a little wobbly like i was in another world.
On the drive home it was all i could do not to turn around, go back and beg Him to let me stay. i guess i will just have to wait for O/our next session.
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This week has just been a whirlwind of emotions and experiences. i guess i will start with the orgasm thing.
i have an unsual problem for some it may seem like a gift for me it is a curse. i seem for some reason have what i call spontaneous orgasms for lack of a better word. They can happen when least expected. For instance, last night is was thinking about my Master spanking me while i was looking at my screen saver, which has photos of Him passing across the screen and it started. They come in waves and when i think it is over another comes, this can go on for ten minutes. i absolutely hate this! It can happen at anytime, thankfully it is very rare for it to happen in public, although it has happened. Sometimes i know the trigger but other times i do not. At least i know when it is about to happen so if i am in public i can go to the restroom or to my car until it passes. Thank goodness i know how to stifle the noise or else it could get very embarrasing. i need to find a way to stop this. i wonder if anyone else has experienced this, and were they able to prevent it from happening?
This week my emotions have been all over the place in reference to my Master. i think at first i was fighting total surrender, but the most amazing thing happen when i finally said to myself give in. i was having so many conflicting emotions i felt i was losing my mind. But once i said i surrender it was like my mind totally cleared and told my body to kneel. It was amazing! i feel like my whole world just opened up and it is a beautiful thing. i can't even describe the peace i feel it is like i have awakened from a very relaxing sleep. i know it may sound crazy, but that is what i feel. If i had known that this is what surrender felt like i would have given up weeks ago. Right now i feel the total need to be on my knees in worship to my Master and thank Him for the experience. i have never felt anything like this in my life. Just writing about it makes me want to kneel in His honor since i am not able to be in His presence. i hope in time i am able to repay Him for all he has given me, i have taken so much from Him and feel i have given so little. i do not even know if He is aware of what He has done for me, thus far. |
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Female Submissive, 42, marshall, Minnesota
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Male Submissive, 29, Sao Paulo
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Female Submissive, 40, relocable
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Male Submissive, 27, Piracicaba, SP
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Male Submissive, 31, Dublin
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Male Submissive, 31
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Male Dominant, 35, Fresno, California
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Male Submissive, 40, dickson
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Male Submissive, 40, Montreal, Quebec
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Male Submissive, 30, Lx
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Male Submissive, 19, Kansas City, Missouri
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Male Submissive, 34, Lx
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