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YoungBeginner
Pan Male Submissive, 18, Hartlepool, United Kingdom 

Hey, Im a young (18 yr old) lad from Hartlepool in the North East of England, i have a very submissive nature and im searching for a dominant master or mistress to take me on as their slave. I have time to partake in such a relationship and am very willing to learn and have many interests aswell as being obedient and willing to do whatever pleases my owner.


 


Im an intelligent and easy to talk to guy so feel free to pop up for a chat.

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Dominant Male, 43
 The Hill Country, Texas
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Wow, talk about a powerful dream. I was cuffed with my hands behind my back, hands upwards (which is not something I can normally do and is uncomfortable for me) and cuffs on my ankles. I think there was some additional metal hardware on me. I couldn't move much. And my domme was putting some sort of "fur suit" over me (though I'm not into furry play at all) to prepare me for a trip to the local dungeon.) In the dream I was so turned on, I was nearly bursting out of my cage and ready to orgasm, but of course knew I'd be in trouble.  Then I woke up.
What I want...(I did not write this but it rings true for me).  I want flowers. I want to whip you. I want to stroke your cheek and smile into your eyes. I want respect and awe and understanding and love. I want foot rubs and leg rubs and back rubs and anywhere rubs. I want you to know when to reach out to touch and when to kneel and wait. I want you to want me fiercely, desire me utterly. I want kisses. Little ones, fast ones, fierce ones, thigh-clenching-good kisses. I want you to touch me like you’re trying to memorize the texture and shape of me. I want affection and cuddling. I want you to drop your eyes when I demand and meet my eyes when we talk. I want you to miss me terribly when we’re apart. I want you to know what you mean to me, how I cherish you. I want humor and debate and dialog. I want you to kiss the side of my neck while your hands grip my hips, my back. I want to see you crawl – just for me. I want to look at you in that special way and see you breathe deeply with desire and anticipation of what you know is to come. I want to fuck you, penetrate you, tease you, deny you, please you, torture you. I want.... You.                                                                                              
  Instantaneous submission has no substance so if You contact me to for a quick thrill You will be wasting Your own time firstly along with mine of which i will then be forced to respond in a fitting & appropriate manor.     
And just like that, the talks have ended and I've sent that prospective slave on her way. There were two very big (imo) factors as to why she would not have worked out. The first being a big communication problem. When I speak, I speak directly and clearly as to what I want, think, feel or am asking. If I'm asking a question, I expect an answer to the question asked. Not what you think you feel the question is or pretains to. That tells me you aren't listening to my words, just your feelings. And that will lead a slave to failure every time. The next problem is ideals vs reality. I see this as rampant throughout these bdsm sites. A slave will search for their ideals and not except that the reality is rarely, if ever, matches what their idea of being a slave is. The fact is, thought the slave wants to be kept in a cage and only brought out to be played with, bills need to be paid, the house needs to be cleaned, meals need to be cooked. These are, to me and other Masters, part and parcel to being a slave. The fantasy slavery is good for maybe a weekend or so. But not something feasible for the long run. So for now, it seems I am still looking for a slave. As I continue on this journey, I think I'll continue to use this form of media as a sounding board. 
It is funny how some people just want hear their sexual fantasy from others. If it doesnt fit...it means blocking.  Why not say what you want...eassier than "act".     I am not here to satisfy others peopel needs,,especially not slaves. And please, just say what you want. I do not need diplomacy....keep it short and to the point.
"First Encounter" Inner thoughts of this dom. HIM:  "Today I'm about to meet this incredibly sexy submissive ive been coveting for a while. She a cute little thing that would be perfect to join my family. I wonder how quick she will succumb to my will? What and how far will she go to be allowed to orgasm?" These as many other stray and random thought rattled their way around my mind. The excitement mounting as we were about to meet real time after a very long period of online and phone chats as we each revealed ourselves to each other. Developing what we hoped would be a meet that would cause sparks to fly within us as the anticipation had grown that seductive. I meet you at a quiet little bar. There we introduce ourselves for the first time in real life. I feel like I know so much about you after the many weeks we have spent chatting online. You are even more beautiful in person. As I hug you tightly to my body the faint whiff of your perfume entices me. I slowly slide my hands down your back as out tongues dance in our joined mouths. Working down your firm ass I can't help but squeeze your cheeks. I slight moan escapes your lips into my mouth. I disengage our lips and bring my face against your neck. Once again inhaling your perfume and freshly washed hair. As I bring one hand up to your head to hold it in place as I nuzzle your neck my other hand slides up your short dress to make sure you followed my instructions and didn't wear underwear.  I pull your head to the side by your hair exposing your neck. Like Dracula I attack your neck. Nibbling and licking it as I work my way to your naked shoulder. My other hand openly caressing your naked ass for all to see. I am so proud of her. She passingly mentioned to me that she was never into PDA nor was she much for kissing. Yet here we stood locked together mouth to mouth for all the world to see. "If only she had gotten thus kind of affection more often. Would she feel differently?" I think to myself.  She feels the cool breeze against her naked ass as I intentionally expose it. I want to see her reaction to my actions. Will she deny my? If I am to be her sir surely she will comply. She knows if she passes the tasks I will bestow upon her over the next week that she will find shelter within my arms. Secure in the fact that I will help her grow and be there to catch her when she falls. For this she will give me her mind, heart and body but eventually I want to own her soul. The pilgrimage of that honor is my quest.   HER: Feeling you lift my incredibly already short skirt and the breeze on my ass, you feel my whole body grow warm, and see the bright red spreading across my skin, as i move my hand to cover my poor ass and gs every so quietly, in your grip i do my best to turn away from the other people near by knowing i wont get far i still wiggle and whisper a quiet "Sir, theres people looking" all the whole attempting to pull the skirt back down and cover myself.  As she tries to pull back her skirt feeling humiliated and embarrassed I quietly whisper in her ear. It ok baby girl. You are beautiful scars and all. I desire to show you off. Love yourself for me.  You feel my fingers sliding between the cheeks of your ass. Relieved that this action is allowing your skirt to begin covering your nakedness. Suddenly you feel my finger tip dip between your lips that are moist from fear and excitement. The action is quick and efficient. Only lasting a split second yet the feelings it created within you may last much longer. You quickly look around to see if anyone noticed your reaction and what sir is doing to you. There at the bar is a young man. He can't be any older than 22. A grin on his face as he quickly turns away when you look his way as if you wouldn't notice the lust within his eyes. You suddenly feel wanted and desired.  Here your sir wants you and is giving you the attention you've been longing for for so long. And a man who is so young looks at you like a cougar with lust. Willing to pounce on you if he could. All these thoughts are running freely thru your tangled mind. Mixed emotions running ramped like a freed feral cat. Yet your body is betraying you with its actions. You turn suddenly away from me pulling me towards the waiting booth in the darker corner. I see the flushed look in your face. The embarrassment I have caused you. It turns me on making my cock twitch even more. The wetness I felt when dipping my finger in you showed me how your body betrays your mind. Although embarrassed you are turned on. Is it because of my actions or because you were being watched. I glance at the young man who is once again looking. I look him in the eye with alpha male intimidation that has served me well all my life. Something earned taught and released from my primal interior being from the years I spent in special forces while in the military. Something about one who has seen things that show the ugliness of man is like an imprint. Although not visible it is detected in posture. My eyes show a certain sadness but also scream that I am not one to be reckoned with. The young man immediately turns away. He picks up his beer and goes to the other end of the bar. Interpreting the unsaid message given to him by just a glare by a man more than twice his age. That instant momentarily distracts me as I faintly hear something you said but didn't fully acknowledge.  I pull you back to me. Holding you tight against my body once again. I feel your breasts pressed against my chest. Our groins mashed together as if they already know what is to come later. Anxious to get started as my cock strains against the denim of my jeans held prisoner. I whisper once again into your ear. "It's OK baby girl. I want to feel you against me for another moment.  After all these weeks you are now flesh and not just words. I nip your bare shoulder lightly with my teeth.  My tongue then flicks back and forth where my teeth once bit as if to offer a healing moment.  Unneeded tho because of the gentleness of it. Putting the smile on my face that I use for the world, the one that doesn't necessarily reach my eyes but seems to somehow charm everyone that comes in contact with.  Feeling you slide into the booth next to me, I have to concentrate so hard. In a way that I do not tense up, but keep my body relaxed. In the way "he who must not be named" showed me at all times. Afterall, no man wants to cuddle a corpse Katey! Shaking the thought from my head. I relax and let my features fall soft. Warm and welcoming. I risk a glance up from the table where my gaze has previously been focused and catch his eyes. They're peering into mine! Why on earth does it feel like he's looking straight into my soul? No one ever notices this much or pays this much attention. I know I'm cute tonight. Hell, I'm always cute. Enough cleavage showing to capture the attention of everyone in the room that has a penis and even some who don't. Why is he so focused on my eyes?  Shifting nervously but trying so hard to stay relaxed. (No one cuddles a corpse Katey!) I can't help but freeze just a bit as he grabs my hand pulling it to his face. Please don't notice the sweaty palms I chant in my head. He's going to think I'm insane or unable to show love. SHIT! What if he thinks I don't like him?  Pushing the thoughts from my head again drawing my focus back to the moment. I realize he's speaking to me. Not hearing half the words, but his eyes capturing mine again like he seems to have a talent of doing. I see a soft side in there. Someone honestly gentle.  You've seen that before too Katey! Right before the black eye my brat pipes up. Shut up it's different this time try to have faith. I zone back into his words and catch something about being his pet for the night.  About being taught new things. This stirs the curious one, the fun filled one with the will to live inside me. She gets super excited bouncing up and down like a child seeing stars for the first time. Eyes shining bright. She loves to learn new things.  All this flashes across my face before the brat hog ties her and sits her back down in the chair. For once her and I agree. Now is not the time for you to surface we're still treading new waters here. Wondering if he saw the roller coaster of emotions going through my twisted broken mind before my face settles. Back to the factory style smile and shining blue eyes all the men seem to love. I relax into his touch trying to show I'm not a mutant. Afraid I'll come off robotic. The motions coming so natural they seem programmed ( No one cuddles a corpse Katey!)  Hoping this gets past him and smile briefly hearing him say, "Tonight I own you". I reply with a sweet, "Yes Sir! I can't wait." Looking into her eyes as he holds her hand for reassurance he sees inner conflict. A turbulent turmoil of emotions taking flight within. He understands these feelings all too well. Demons that he himself has wrestled with for most of his life. His innocence stripped away from him as a delusional teenager.  His mind flashes back to the day he graduated high school. Signing his life away for the next 4yrs. Gonna be a GI! Government Issued, warrior. Right the wrongs and save the world from evil.  Yeah if only he knew who the enemy really was. How evil is everywhere in so many shapes and forms. A delusioned man child at only 18 who thought he knew it all. Quickly his mind snaps back to her. He lays her hand on his thigh and holds it there. Mere inches from his inflamed cock. Swelling that she has caused. Yes she is cute. Those beautiful braless tits on display. Just as he had instructed her to show off. Her beautiful, wanting to please, features displayed on her face. Her body, in that short dress. This too he had requested. One that could have started wars centuries ago. Her freshly washed hair with a hint of fruity smell.  My God what I want to do to that body! But no not yet! Beautiful women are a dime a dozen. That's not what I am after. I want that inner beauty I know is there hiding in fear in the darkness. Perhaps behind one too many negative experiences.  He looks at her again. Tilts his head to the side and leans in. Plants a soft kiss upon her forehead. "This is to free your mind of evil thoughts.", he tells her. Then leaving her hand on his thigh he takes hold of her head. One hand on either side and draws it to him. He kisses one eye, as her eyes instinctively closed. Perhaps out of fear. Then he kisses the other. "These are to ward off evil visions and nightmares.", he tells her. As he releases her he notices her hand is right where he left it. Is it out of fear he wonders as he glances down. Then he sees her moving her hand. Rubbing his thigh. Almost as if she is giving him a non-verbal thank you. Thanking her lucky stars she's put on her trained face. Her body falling in line with the program. This scene all well to practiced in previous encounters with other men. Her body doesn't trip her up for once. It manages to stay relaxed when he reaches for her hand placing it on his thigh.  He keeps her hand trapped under his a few moments. A feeling she's used to. The pinned down feeling. But this time something is different about it. Maybe it's the soft sweet words coming from a reassuring mouth. Instead of the normal don't move whore she was used to. Maybe its the sweet soft kisses he's laid upon her forehead or eyes. She's never felt something like this in all her years experience with men. She finds it confusing. Yet comforting. Feeling that wonder child inside stir some more before the brat slaps her in the back of the head. This is why you stay locked down. Too eager and not enough caution.  The mix of emotions inside rolling over in her mind cause an automatic reaction. The smile softens on her lips. Eyes closing just a little before she peers up at him through her lashes. His hand has moved but two things occured. One she knows never to move from a spot youve been placed unless you want the belt. Yet, a stranger feeling she's not sure she's felt before. Of not wanting to move hand this time. In fear of feeling to stiff again she lightly brushes her fingertips along his thigh. Not out of habit this time but because maybe part of her actually wanted to.  Squeezing her thighs together she notices how wet she's become. She can't understand it. Pressing them tighter in fear of leaving behind a wet spot. She can't help but think, "Where are the drinks?" His relief at feeling her hand beginning to rub his thigh is a welcome relief. Although part of him wonders. Is this just a programmed response? Is she like the many other women he has spent countless hours with chatting, exchanging photos and erotica only to vanish after the session was over.  Almost as if, they, no different than what would be considered creepy guys. They used him to flirt and arouse until they achieved their level of sexual satisfaction and then disappeared. Leading him on like a cruel joke. No he says. That's why he reminds himself, it's not about the sex.  If not to toy with him then what would a beautiful young woman see in an older man like himself. The look in her eyes as she looks at him gives him strength. He sees so much of himself in her. Scars of hurt, rejection, pain and broken promises of lost love.  Yet here I am today he says almost out loud. Daring to take each step to move forward proud and strong. To never give up and to fight whatever battle comes my way. In whatever shape or form it manifests itself. His strength comes from his confidence. A weaker man would be shy and afraid to take a chance again for fear of once again being used and rejected. Tossed aside like left over scraps. But no not me. I am a WARRIOR! I want to believe that there are still people who can love out there the way I do. It keeps my faith in humanity from being irradicated. All this swims through him as his mind processes it all with the lightning speed of a super computer. Just like his training. Compartmentalize evaluate the situation and act. It has worked for him all his life. The long pause between them like a moment of silence causes some awkwardness between them. Then he feels her rubbing his thigh harder. More confidently as if by her own attrition and not a programmed response or expectational desire. It's as if she can see him go far away and is saying, "I'm here. I want to be here and you're ok". Once again he looks into her eyes and sees something that wasn't there before. A softness. A real glitter almost as if they were smiling at him. Wanting and desiring him. His already hard cock twitches. He feels it touch against her hand from the unexpected reaction she's caused. He feels a wetness against his bare thigh as he realizes he's leaking because of her! Thoughts are interrupted as the waitress finally arrives. He orders a Sprite for himself and looks at her and asks. "What would you like beautiful?" A gentle nibble and a kiss! Her coy way of showing affection is illuminating. Her cute sense of witty humor threw him off guard but breaks a grin on his face. She has the humor in her like I do he thinks.  He turns to her and sees her sitting there hands clasped together on her lap. Legs firmly held tight as if to ward off foreign invaders and protect her real-estate.  He slowly eyes her up and down. Her breasts he notices pushed out as if she is attempting to seduce him with them. Her heavy breathing pushing them in and out each time she takes a breath.  He notices how the dress accents her features and brings out the woman in her. Good choice he thinks to himself glad that he purchased it for her and had it shipped to her. Along with the garters that hold up those incredible stockings he liked so much. As he continues down he sees the cowgirl boots as well. He noticed how well the whole outfit fit her earlier but was too enthralled with other things to notice all the details till now. Even tho they are imprinted in his mind to remember forever. Their first meet and date which if leads to what he hopes and knows she desires may be a long term relationship. He brings his eyes up and looks deep into her eyes now. He made it quite obvious that he was checking her out. He looks at her hoping that checking her out and admiring her has pleased her. Perhaps even aroused her. He leans in and plants a soft and gentle kiss on her neck again. He loves necks and shoulders. Moving to her ear as the waitress returns with their drinks He whispers. "You are sexy as fuck. Even more beautiful in person than all the pictures and videos you sent me can capture. If only you knew how much I desire you right now." The waitress places the drinks in front of them smiling as she overheard his comment. She even noticed his tongue flicker across her ear. "Would you two like anything to eat tonight?" She asks. He looks at her and grins. "On our menu" she chuckles knowing what that grin insinuated. His Katey too giggled at that. Feeling more confident in herself knowing his desire was genuine.  He laughing says. Yes please can you bring us some menus.  You obviously know what I would like as my appetizer and dessert He says to the waitress knowing she has a good sense of humor. The waitress laughs with him. I don't blame you she says. I would probably skip all of that and just have her as the main course myself..... A chuckle from in his heart surfaces itself. It's audible sound to those within earshot turn to look it is that infectious and genuine. He wraps his arm around her neck as she cuddles into him for the first time. Feeling her warmth against him he wraps his arm around her neck holding her closer to him. Enjoying how she feels. He notices and feels her hand upon his thigh. This time voluntarily and with movement of its own.  "She's a firecracker isn't she" he half asks half states to the waitress. The waitress can't help but notice in the position she is in now with her head tucked into him, his arm around her neck asnif claiming ownership that she can see right down her dress. Her beautiful breast in plain sight and her nipples hard from arousal. She sees the woman's hand move to his thigh. The action of her rubbing draws her attention to it. She notices how hard he is and how his cock is running down the inside of his thigh mere millimeters from her hand. She notices what looks to be a damp spit on his jeans. She's is mesmerized by these two as she is hypnotized by their hidden affection and the energy radiating from them. She sees her run her finger along the length of his rigid cock. Slowly methodically with purpose. This little vixen knows exactly what she is doing as she looks up at her, stares into her eyes and grins. His cock continually twitching and pulsing from her actions. His voice draws her back to reality. "Whatever she wants tonight. We are celebrating our union" he says. Then he looks down at her as she lifts her eyes to meet his. A glimmer that sparkles thru his piercing blue eyes looking deep into hers. "What would my darling pet like to eat" he softly asks her. As he waits for her reply he can't help but feel a rush running thru his body. The way she's teasing his cock on her own. She may think that he didn't notice the pixy like smile she gave the waitress who saw her doing it. As he looks down into her eyes to ask her what she would like he too notices the plunging neckline of her dress is allowing anyone above her to see her tits. He sees her nipples standing out exceptionally far and hard from the soft roundness of her breast.  It excites him making him leak once again. He can feel the wet warmth released from the eye of his cock. After asking her what she would like he gently blows down the front of her dress. His breath running down her neck across her brwasr and to her nipples. He swears it looks like they just got bigger from that. He turns to the waitress noticing she saw this too. Her reaction is priceless. Her almost hypnotic state excites him. She TOO wants and desires his little pet nestled softly and safely against him as his strong arm holds her tight. He blinks his eyes several times. The light starting to creep its way into the room is almost blinding. He rubs them trying to get the sleep out of them as he looks around and then checks out the clock. Looking down at his crotch he realizes his cock is still hard. There's even a couple wet spots on his underwear. Clearing his head he slowly gets up to go make coffee. Wow that was one hell of a dream he smiles to himself remembering it.  
Hello.  If you are a truly dominant woman or couple possessing high intelligence and integrity, I have a situation that may interest you. This isn't just about play or BDSM, I am offering a very well compensated job, as well as a life and a jump in lifestyle. Please read it all before you decide.  I know telling you I am real and this is legit is a waste of time because all the scammers say that.  Notice that my spelling and grammar are correct, and it's not a ridiculous offer, but very reasonable to the right dominant woman willing and able to accept it. You can Google VA caregiver and VA caregiver stipend.  When you do, ONLY go to websites ending in dot gov.  Anything else is NOT a real government website, though they try to fool you into believing that they are. I'm going to keep this to facts, because you will either be interested and want more details, or you won't be and there is no need for more info.  Please read about me in my profile and journal. I just learned, that because of my cancer and my recent disability rating increase, I will almost certainly be eligible to have a live in caregiver.  The VA compensates caregivers really well.  I can't mention numbers but you can find them in those URLs.  You would basically be helping me around the house with things which are difficult because of my disabilities.  By September I should be past all the side effects of the radiation so I won't need all that much help.  Which means you could go to school or work another job.  I will not give you a free ride.  I will expect you to pay something toward the upkeep of the house.  I will loan you the money for a car if you don't have one.What I am seeking is a 24/7 domme to enslave me in a consensual non consent relationship.  Yes, that means you will need to relocate to Phoenix, AZ USA, because I can't relocate. I own a large, very nice home in a quiet, upscale middle class neighborhood.  But I'm only about 12 miles from downtown Phoenix. I don't want a soft domme.  At least not all the time.  I need a domme with very dark desires and cruelty.  If you are new to BDSM or your own dominance, I can teach you to explore your darkness, dominance and cruelty, which the politically correct BDSM community could not and would not.  So inexperience is not an issue for me.  Nor do I seek monogamy or constant attention.  I would serve only you and anyone you told me to, while you could live your life any way you want to.  You can have other slaves, bulls, whatever you want.  And you get me for a slave.  I'm not weak and useless or a total asshole like most other male subs.  I will actually prioritize your happiness because that will make me happy.That's it.  This is a description, not an offer.  We would not be able to start this until August at the earliest, so that would give us plenty of time to talk, work out details, etc.If you are interested, and by that I mean that if you like the circumstances, you will follow through and actually do this if we connect on that level, then write me.  If you know you are not going to do it, then please feel free to ignore this, and I hope you find what you seek.
He had been communicating for a while with an experienced Gay master and the day had finally come where they would meet in person.  They had agreed to meet in a public place at a little bar and café. If the meeting would go well they might be leaving together and he would be under his Masters control for the weekend. He had been provided with very specific instructions on the time to meet and what table to take. He had come in good time to make sure he could get the specific table his Master had instructed him to sit at. He wanted to make sure he left a good first impression.  He was in luck the table was vacant. It was in the remote/back side of the restaurant. He had been told to sit with his back facing the restaurant area looking at the wall which would allow his Master to approach him without him being able to see Master coming.  He was to order two specific bottled beer. He was not to touch the beers but patiently wait for his Master to arrive with both his hands on the table. Time went really slowly and he found himself constant looking at his watch.  He suddenly heard steps behind him. Was it the waitress or was it Master?  He suddenly felt a hand on his shoulder and a voice behind him “Do not turn around “.  The hand massaged his shoulder end moved down his chest…. Gentle squeezing his nipples. The hand moved further down to his crotch. He was so hard.. “Heads and eyes down” He lowered his head and Master walked around and sat down at the table. He did not dear lifting his head.  He could see Master hand taking the beer and Master zipping off the beer while making a smiling sound. Finally he heard the voice “Okay you can lift you head” He excited lifted his head and there was Master in front of him.   They spent the next 20min talking and get to know each other while enjoying the beers.  It was a great continuation of the conversation they had had on email and chat and they both was in agreement to proceed the relationship to the next level. Master reached down in his backpack and took up a small carrying plastic bag.  “if you want to proceed you will go to the restroom and do what the note in this bag instructs you”.  He was super excited to continue and took the bag and hurried to the restroom. Inside the bag was a note that said.  “You are plug yourself with the plug in this bag.  Take off your underwear and place it into the bag and you are NOT to take a piss” The plug in the bag was luckily not that big as he was very tight in the rear and there was some lubricant.  He quickly slid the plug into place and removed his underwear. His cock was hard a steel and with no underwear it was scratching against the inside of his jeans. He went back to Master table and handed over the bag with his underwear. Master put on a smile..  “Now it is my turn, Please order me a new beer ONE only. ” Master excused himself and went out to the restroom.. He brought along his own beer bottle. He was quickly back and sat down.  “Well boy it is time you know who is boss” He handed his beer over.  The bottle was warm. OH my good he had refilled the bottle with his piss in the bathroom.  “Here is your new beer, now drink up” It was so humiliating. Sitting there in a public place drinking master’s hot piss out of a beer bottle.  He had tried drinking hot piss before but never this way.  Master was enjoying him selves with his new fresh beer. He finished the beer and would have loved to have had a glass of water to clear him mouth of the salty taste. “Good boy”. What do you say we get out of here….  They walked to Masters car. Master opened the passenger seat and he jumped in. He put on his seat belt and Master handed him a pair of sunglasses…  the sunglasses has the inside colored black and totally blocked his sight.  Master closed the door and jumped into the driver’s seat.  When inside the car Master unzipped his jeans and his hard cock immediately sprang out..  Master laughed, gave him a deep kiss and started the car. Another humiliating experience sitting there not knowing where they were going sitting there with his dick hanging out like a flag pole. Few minutes later they turned into Master driveway and into the garage and the automatic door closed behind them. Master went around to the passenger seat opened the door and guided him out of the car and sat him down on a chair in the garage.  “Get undressed, Quickly!” He quickly did as tol and soon was standing naked on the cold garage floor.  His hands was retrained behind his back with a pair of steel handcuffs and a ball gaga placed in his mouth.  Eyes down and follow me…  The next two days he would be under Masters control…
6/13/2024   I am Wordy... Flirty... a little bit... Dirty. Even so... sending me a message does not guarantee a reply. Some may think that is rude. There are just only a certain number of hours in a day and I am not on here much. MPH
This is a topic which I have had more than a few conversations with other Masters and slaves. So I have decided to post what I believe here and what my house believes. I know this is going to rub some of the Masters/Doms or Masters/doms the wrong way. But we here at the House Of G believe in telling the truth, regardless of the cost to ourselves. Having said this let me launch right into the topic of my posting. "Collar of consideration or under consideration collars" 1.     The first thing that comes to mind is that the Master who has placed a slave under consideration is having trouble deciding whether he wants this slave to be wearing his collar and is unable to decided if the slave should be a member of their house. 2.     The next possibility is that the Master wants to have his cake and eat it too. He wants the pleasure of controlling and using the slave, without making a commitment to the slave, thereby avoiding the responsibility of ownership. Both are fundamentally wrong. Either the slave is worthy or has the potential to be worthy of wearing the Masters collar or is not. If more time and communication is required, then the Master should do that. The undertaking of owning a slave requires that you know everything about that slave before placing your collar around their neck. If there is even the slightest of doubt or concern, then discuss your concerns with the slave. Collaring a slave is not something taken lightly. It is actually making a commitment that we and many others will agree is more serious than the wedding vows and in some cases more binding and lasting.   “The trust between Masters and Slaves is based on the same behavioral Rules that regulate social life within a herd: Those who have obtained a higher rank in the herd assume at the               same time the responsibility for the weaker members.” A Master should reveal to the slave what is expected of them if they wear the Masters collar and what their boundaries and duties will be. All of this should be discussed in great detail almost to ad nauseam. For many in this lifestyle it’s far easier to shed ones clothing and belongings than it is to open up and be revealing about your real desires. We call this being emotionally naked and it seems to be one of the hardest things that one of my slaves can learn. “I have accepted a collar.” 1. This is not dating in any vanilla sense. You may find a slave and initiate a conversation with them with the sole intention of putting the slave in your collar. Nothing is wrong with this. However, why would you, give the slave the initial upper hand in the relationship (before it even starts) with having the slave make the decision to either accept or reject your collar? By offering your collar to the slave and not waiting until the slave asks for it, has not the “Topping from the Bottom” already begun?   2. It is the Master who will structure, dictate, and control the parameters of the relationship not the slave. Hence it is the Master, not the slave, who will really do the bulk of the work in making the relationship successful or not. 3. The slave has a simple, yet complex duty ... please the desires and will of the Master. The slave does what it is told, how it is told, when it is told, without hesitation, remorse or embarrassment.  4. In reality, it is the slave who should offer themselves to the Master for enslavement and collaring. NOT the other way around. You're not seeking the slave to "take home to your mother." You're not seeking them to place an engagement ring on their finger. While that may happen at some point, it is not the primary goal. The goal is to help the slave become the best slave it can be and to guide them to that end.  5. You want that slave, kneeling, naked at your feet, ready and willing to serve you with every fiber of their being to satisfy and please your desires.  I have never offered a collar to a slave. I was blessed to have a lifestyle couple with many years of experience act as my mentors when I first entered this lifestyle, and along the way I have had the opportunity to work with and meet some great Masters, who have all pitched in and helped with my education and mindset. But the main thing I have learned is the differences between the structure of a vanilla relationship and the structure of the Master/slave relationship. The commitment of a slave is on a whole different level than that of a vanilla relationship. And because the slave made it of their own free will and with the knowledge that they were surrendering all of themselves to the Master.  This bond between Master and slave is unlike any other currently known. Think about it, the Master offers a collar to the slave. The slave accepts it. Then later if the relationship or some aspect doesn't go as the slave desires, you've already given them a way out. But if they have to offer themselves to the Master, what they are saying is that they are ready to give the Master their all and that means 100% of themselves.  So let me end this by saying that the slave’s submission is not a gift. There submission is who they are and what they are. And if it is a “gift”, then the slave has certain expectations already that again reverts back to vanilla dating, that their charms (subtly translated sexuality) is something to be held in high esteem and treated as such. Yes, you can love and care for them. But their sexuality is yours and for your pleasure first. If at any point they feel that their "gift" is not that treasured by the Master, you again have given them an easy exit or even much worse a means of "topping from the bottom."   
  It's that time of year again, and the anticipation is building, those who have been good are waiting on their rewards and those who have been naughty...well they will get their, ahem, rewards as well....sorry folks I know, this has been a very clumsy attempt to create a link "the holidays" as our American cousins would call it with corporal punishment.  There is something particularly special about kink at Christmas don't you think.  Maybe its the tinsel, maybe its the flashing lights or maybe its just the sherry/beer/gin making us all frisky but its definitely a time for letting go of our inhibitions and having a bit of fun! The anticipation of seeing someone naughty waiting for her punishment beside the Christmas tree, just makes it all the more enjoyable.  
Standards vs Micromanaging I've pondered the question of control for years. Early on I had the notion in my head that the more controlling you were the more dominant you were. Like a badge of achievement that you got to claim, a contest you won if you were the most controlling. I still see that basic frame of thought all over the place. I also see the thinking that the more intense the dynamic the more controlling/micro managey it is. I've tried various levels and forms of control with women over the years and whenever I've strived for micromanagement it's been entirely unsatisfying. I've also found that the men who seem most interested in micromanagement are trying to fill some sort of hole within themselves. I remember one woman I met who wanted complete micromanagement and frankly it was the emptiest and most robotic experience of my life. Hence the internal struggle in trying to understand the controlling impulses I have, the need for power and ownership, while also not really having the patience or desire to stand over someone's shoulder minute by minute. I finally found some phrasing that I think helps to express what I actually think and desire.

At the beginning of a relationship I try to keep surprises to a minimum. So I’ve written a short description of how I would spank the first time I did so. I do not spank really hard as the pleasure is over far too soon. I spank firmly and slowly. I call it a ‘Cumulative Dozen’. The first time you will have dressed as I instruct and will stand whilst I tell you why you are being spanked, it might just be for the pure enjoyment of doing so. You will bend over the back of a chair and I will lift your skirt, if needed I will hold you in place between my thigh and my left hand. The first spank will land on your far cheek, then one on your near cheek. I will then change sides and spank each cheek twice. Then change sides and spank each cheek three times, and so on until I decide to stop, or I’ve reached a dozen per side. Each cheek of your bottom could have received 78 spanks by this time. You will then be told to stand facing into the corner, holding your skirt above your waist and forbidden to touch your bottom. After a short wait you will bend over again, your panties will be removed, your legs parted and I will repeat the spanking. If you struggle you will be put over my knee and have your arm folded into the small of your back. By this time your bottom will be red and sore so the spanks will seem much harder than they actually are.  By the time a dozen is reached this time you will might want the spanking to stop. However if you have struggled too much, or clenched your bottom muscles too often I may decide to continue to 13, 14 or perhaps 15. One finished you will stand in the corner again, forbidden to touch your red bottom that you will keep on display until I tell you can move. If I have collared you the process will vary, if you would like to know how then just ask.
Kneeling, he slid her high heel back on to her foot. Cautiously, he raised his eyes and gazed up at her for approval or perhaps his next instruction.   Miraculously, she levitated up off the couch and stood towering above him. His nose level with the hem of her skirt. Pheromones flooded his nostrils.   With authority of command she bent at the waist placing her mouth next to his ear. A throaty whisper poured slowly like honey falling sweet on his brain. “ Follow me out to my car”   Click click click, the heels announced her departure. Heads turned. She wet her lips with her tongue.  Tugging her gloves firmly over her hands, she fastened her jacket and strode through the lobby and out to the parking lot.
I recently had an unsettling encounter with someone who threatened me physically and when I blocked them they had another account and continued to harrass me. For the next few weeks I will not be engaging in looking for someone.  I will be checking here, but if you acutally followed the directions on my profile, you will know not to message me, as I will not be engaging in conversation.
Have you noticed that when people want to say something offensive, they often start by saying 'no offence, but...'? It's as if they think they make their offensive words more acceptable by saying that they don't want to offend, and that they're therefore immune from the consequences. Sometimes, too, people use humour to disguise meanness. It seems there's a hidden agenda, and it surly adds to being uncertain about the true meaning . An honest conversation always should be held amongst us. Just an observation and found it comical. 
== Results from bdsmtest.org ==  93% Switch  86% Boy/Girl  81% Submissive  80% Daddy/Mommy  73% Ageplayer  72% Brat  71% Vanilla  68% Rope bunny  67% Non-monogamist  66% Dominant  64% Primal (Prey)  62% Rigger  58% Experimentalist  55% Voyeur  54% Owner  50% Brat tamer  49% Pet  49% Primal (Hunter)  46% Sadist  40% Exhibitionist  29% Masochist  22% Master/Mistress  21% Degrader  14% Degradee  9% Slave   
Earlier this week was my 50th day in chastity, without orgasm. It is the longest I have ever endured and Miss B has been tormenting me a lot about it. She has made it very clear that I shouldn’t expect release any time soon. Miss B’s rule gets stronger every day. She is my Queen and Goddess and she is breaking me down to be the toy and sissy that She desires. Miss B is everything I have ever dreamed of and so much more besides. I am a very happy toy!  
Just a quick amused note here. I have a 'no Drump supporters, past or present' on my profile for a reason. I also have no smokers, no addicts, no cheaters, etc. The only group that feels it's important to send me hate filled messages are the Trumpers. Kinda confirms my views of you I've never met anyone from that side of things that wasn't hiding deep violent hate, or wasn't lacking the intellect to see the problems that are right there. It's not about him. It's about who you are that lets you be ok with him So yeah, send me threats and insults. Helps me sift out and block you faster.
I feel the cold metal of my collar against my skin, a constant reminder of my new reality. I had signed the contract and now, I wait, could be now, or maybe never. The system decided who bought me, who owned me, but until that day, no taxes. I got to live tax free from the moment that collar locked, I was no longer a tax paying citizen. I was just merchandise on a shelf.The beep that echoes through the bookstore signals my salvation and damnation in the form of a large, commanding man. Baxter. He rushes toward me, his eyes filled with a primal hunger that sends a shiver down my spine. His hands roughly grab my arms, pulling me close as he examines me, his gaze intense and unyielding. I can't help but feel a sense of awe at the sheer size of him, the power that radiates off his body. "You're mine now," he growls, his voice deep and rough. His thumb brushes against the collar, a single drip of his blood and the control was engaged and I feel a jolt of electricity run through me at his touch. I'm his to command, his to use as he sees fit. He leads me out of the bookstore, his grip tight on my arm. People on the streets shaking their heads, another collared removed from the system, less government money wasted. I can't help but feel a sense of excitement as I follow him, my body tingling with anticipation. I've been waiting for this moment for so long, my training leading up to this very moment, to take the collar you have to serve years if service school, but no bills, no taxes, and after the rules all changed, I had no choice. As we enter his home, he turns to me, his eyes blazing with hunger. "Undress," he commands, his voice leaving no room for argument, the collar filling with heat. I comply, my hands shaking as I remove each piece of clothing, revealing my curves to his gaze. He watches me, his eyes taking in every inch of my body. "Kneel," he orders, and I obey, my heart pounding in my chest. He approaches me, his fingers tracing the outline of my collar. "You're mine now," he repeats, his voice softer this time. Then his hand clicks the l
18 July 2023 Not posted anything for a while, i did step back from logging into a couple sites i am listed on to see if i could walk away from lifestyle and carry on in vanila life.Simple answer NO i CAN'T. its must be so deep within me and my blood, i think it would be impossible to walk away and try and forget what and who i am. So i am back to searching for an Owner. i have talked to a few Doms in last few weeks, but not being taken as yet, who knows maybe one fo these will or others come along - i hope and need to be taken owned as total slave property 247 (i know might not be possible for "live in 247, but at least knowing being owned 247 as used on demand) by someone one Dom or Domme or Dom/me Couple. The Dom/me Couple i sometimes serve have requested i attend them, from this coming Friday 20th July until the Monday, They are having a BBQ with a number of guests some lifestyle and some not. They often call for me to attend when having such as the female They have cant cover all that is needed when Guests are there. i never know exactly what will be required until i arrive, same with being clothed , in what and how and if in shackles etc. See if i can post some new pictures once over, as normally They will take some of me in service. NEWJust had a double Dydoe piercing done a couple days ago , have 2 x 10g 12mm long curved barbells in with 6mm balls will put a picture up soon, have to say it bled some when the needle went in, but no discomfort at all and seems to be healing up fast. Not sure whether will be a good thing for potential Owner or not . Well now back see if can post more as did in the past, see how it goes.Satrt my search for an Owner in earnest now fingers and everything else crossed  
Winners and losers can often be distinguished by their propensity to take action and their inclination to serve others. Winners are those who recognize opportunities and are willing to step out of their comfort zones to seize them. They understand that success requires effort, resilience, and a proactive attitude. Winners don't shy away from challenges; they face them head-on and learn from their experiences. Moreover, winners often find fulfillment in helping others achieve their goals, knowing that service enriches both their lives and the lives of those they assist. In contrast, losers tend to be more passive, often waiting for the perfect moment or fearing the risks associated with action. They may have great ideas and potential but lack the drive to bring them to fruition. This hesitation and inertia often lead to missed opportunities and regret. Additionally, a lack of willingness to serve others can limit their growth and connection with the broader community. Ultimately, the difference between winners and losers lies in the willingness to act decisively, persistently pursue their goals, and contribute positively to the lives of others.
I Don’t Know Where My Poppa Is: A Little Girl’s Song, An Adult Woman’s Pain   "Food & Liquor" by Lupe Fiasco has always hit different for me, but tonight, "He Say She Say" felt like it was speaking straight to my soul. "You see what his problem is He don’t know where his poppa is…" It’s one of those songs where the lyrics carry everything. No extra words needed from me. Just sitting here feeling it deeply—for the child in the story, for the mom trying her best, and how it translates to me as an adult woman with a little girl inside who never went away. Navigating a world where my core family of origin is my biggest enemy and the men I’ve tried to vet and sift through—the ones I hoped would be the real poppa—never came. It left both the adult me and little me saying the same thing: "I don’t know where my poppa is." "You see what my problem is That I don't know where my poppa is No positive male role model To play football and build railroad models" "It's making a hole, you've been digging it 'Cause you ain't been kicking it Since I was old enough to hold bottles Wasn't supposed to get introduced to that I don't deserve to get used to that" As you read the lyrics and listen to the song, imagine that this is what us women go through—what I go through: "Some days it ain't sunny but it ain't so hard Just breaks my heart, when my momma try to provide And I tell her, 'That ain't your job'" This lyric is repeated twice—once from the mom's perspective, saying "When my momma try to provide and I tell her that ain't your job," and once from the son's perspective, saying "When I try to provide and he tells her that ain't your job." For me, the adult me and the little girl—Little Jess—are saying this simultaneously, in one body, clearly, over and over. It’s deep. Like the Lupe Fiasco song I wrote about previously, "The Coolest," the dangers and the stories are all there. And yet, I can’t help but wonder—if men really evaluated what this is like when they pretend to step up and then leave horrendously, do they truly understand what this does? Not just to the adult woman they let down, but to the little girl inside, who they treated as a kind of Pied Piper, leading her into heartbreak. Lupe, thank you for songs like this. "I can't, I won't, I can't I won't let you leave I don't know what you want You want more from me She said to him, "I want you to be a father He's your little boy and you don't even bother Like 'Brother' without the R and he's starting to harbor Cool and food for thought but for you he's a starver" "Starting to use red markers on his work His teacher say they know he's much smarter but he's hurt Used to hand his homework in first Like he was the classroom starter" "Burst to tears, let them know she see us Now he's fighting in class Got a note last week that say he might not pass Ask me if his daddy was sick of us 'Cause you ain't never pick him up" "You see what his problem is He don't know where his poppa is No positive male role model To play football and build railroad models" "He's making a hole, you've been digging it 'Cause you ain't been kicking it Since he was old enough to hold bottles Wasn't supposed to get introduced to that He don't deserve to get used to that" "Now I ain't asking you for money or to come back to me Some days it ain't sunny but it ain't so hard Just breaks my heart, when I try to provide And he say, 'Mommy, that ain't your job'" To be a man, I try to make him understand That I'm his number one fan But it's like he born from the stands You know the world is out to get him So why don't you give him a chance?" I can't, I won't, I can't I won't let you leave Now, now, I don't know what you want You want more from me So he said to him, "I want you to be a father I'm your little boy and you don't even bother Like 'Brother' without the R and I'm starting to harbor Cool and food for thought but for you I'm a starver" "Starting to use red markers on my work My teacher say they know I'm much smarter but I'm hurt I used to hand my homework in first Like I was the classroom starter" "Burst to tears, let them know he see us Now I'm fighting in class Got a note last week that say I might not pass Kids ask me if my daddy is sick of us 'Cause you ain't never pick me up" "You see what my problem is That I don't know where my poppa is No positive male role model To play football and build railroad models" "It's making a hole, you've been digging it 'Cause you ain't been kicking it Since I was old enough to hold bottles Wasn't supposed to get introduced to that I don't deserve to get used to that" "Now I ain't asking you for money or to come back to me Some days it ain't sunny but it ain't so hard Just breaks my heart, when my momma try to provide And I tell her, 'That ain't your job'" "To be a man, she try to make me understand That she my number one fan But it's like you born from the stands You know the world is out to get me Why don't you give me a chance?" It's like, I can't, I won't, I can't I won't let you leave Now, now, I don't know what you want You want more from me I can't, I won't, I can't I won't let you leave I don't know what you want You want more from me I can't, I won't, I can't I won't let you leave" Have you ever connected deeply with a song like this—one that feels like it speaks to both your pain and your strength at the same time? If so, which one, and why?
Tonight Getting ready to go out for an event.  I hope you all have an amazing night!
Got a million cheesy pick up lines to use.   Do you mind if I Slytherin?
I am actually going out with someone from this site. Sounds normal enough. Not sure what to expect but it is nice to experience the civil and hold back on the cynical journals. Should really stock up on rope, just in case. C
Ghost:   In the whirlwind of connection we meet, Words and laughter, so bittersweet. But when silence creeps into the night, Ghosting cuts deep, an endless plight.   Promises whispered, now lost in the air, Left alone in a world so unfair. No closure, no reason, just a void, Ghosting leaves your heart destroyed.   Replaying conversations in your mind, Searching for answers you'll never find. Ghosting hurts in a way so profound, Leaving scars on souls all around.   So let us remember, as we part ways, Kindness costs nothing, but ghosting betrays. For in a world where connection is key, Choosing honesty can set your spirit free.
BOOM! Dignity and Grace for our aging Elders in the new term, over corporate greed and SELF INTERESTED narcissistic dictating fascists!  I am an Independent and have voted equally for Republicans and Democrates.  In My lifetime, I have never voted for a liar or a thief or a convicted felon or an insurrectionist. Team work makes the dream work. No one ever lost because they helped another.  ~ Leave the sorting to God and get busy helping your fellow man. I know WHAT I am voting for and who I shall surround Me.  Are you part of the problem or part of the solution?
Things have changed yet AGAIN! My father has declined to the point , that he is afraid to move  in with me.  I structured my whole life around this. Closed my business, left my condo, friends, clients, swing dance community, and support network, plus my Sir.   I didn't pick this place for job opportunities,  I was going to care for my father until the end.  He backed out of coming twice and then let it slip that they, my niece, her failing husband and my father were moving 15 hours away!  I may never see him again!   My world has turned upside down.   Now I'm scrambling to get reciprocity for my license, sending out reaumes, and praying to secure employment. Starting over yet again. The one good thing out of this, is the bathroom in the cottage, is completely renovated.  It is stunning , just gorgeous! Porcelain tiled shower , elegant grab bars, not clinical looking at all, all metal shower fixtures, top quality, new toilet, new sink, beautiful oval mirror and lights.  When renovating, when the wall was stripped down, we even found a window!  I prepped the bedroom, learned to skim coat, scraped  sanded, and primed it. I found gorgeous furniture for the parlor, a large couch, chair and a half and a darling tiny gingham print wing chair. A gas operated cast iron stove  stove is in place and hooked up. Now I need to finish the kitchen.  I stripped the wall paper boarders, several of them. Then came across a metal seam! Uuuugh!  Put one layer of skim coating and need to sand that down. Another one or two more coats , then I sand and paint.   At this point I haven't decided whether I'll do my esthetic business or a small daycare out of the cottage.  Either way, I need a part time job before I decide, and complete it. I landscaped the front of it, and it looks darling.   The covered screenedin front porch has two Amish gliders. I saw my dad in those, rocking outside , safe and comfortable. Siiiiigh. Anyhoo, I need to push forward, live in the now for a bit.   My Sir has been out , and his next time is on my birthday. Hopefully all will go smoothly this time. Last time work took two of our days together 💩💩. Miss him being around the corner. I can't believe it's been over two years!    
“The Lesson in the Red Chair – Part IX: The Kneeling Return” (Obedient Redemption — Devotional Kneeling — Heightened Submission) He stood there, breathing unevenly, the echo of your three precise strikes still humming along his nerves. Not pain — memory. Not punishment — correction. His chest rose and fell like he’d been running. His hands were still locked behind his back. Sweat beaded at the base of his throat. Perfect. “You’re forgiven,” I’d told him. But forgiveness wasn’t the end of his lesson. It was the doorway to the real devotion. “Now,” I said, stepping back just enough for him to feel the loss of my nearness, “kneel.” He didn’t drop quickly this time. No. He sank. Slowly. Reverently. Intentionally. As if each inch downward was an offering. His knees touched the floor with a soft thud, but he kept his back straight, chest open, throat exposed. His hands stayed behind him, the posture tighter, more disciplined than before. He didn’t sway this time. He forced stillness through sheer will. Because now it wasn’t about holding a position. It was about earning your approval. He lowered his gaze— not in shame, but in worship. “Look up,” I said softly. He did. And gods, the expression on his face… Not fear. Not guilt. Devotion. Pure, fragile, trembling devotion. “You came back to your knees beautifully,” I told him. His exhale almost broke into a sob of relief. “Thank you, Ma’am…” “Do you know why this kneeling is different?” I asked. He shook his head slightly. “This one,” I said, lifting his chin with a single finger, “is yours. Not mine. You’re kneeling for your own discipline. Your own growth. Your own hunger to serve.” His lips parted, breath shaking. “And that,” I whispered, “is why it matters more.” His eyes fluttered with emotion he couldn’t hide — gratitude, need, reverence. I walked once around him, slow and assessing, letting my fingertips hover just above his skin. Not touching. Not yet. Just letting him feel the orbit of your authority. “Your posture,” I said, “is better now.” “Yes, Ma’am…” “Your breathing is steadier.” “Yes, Ma’am…” “And your mind—” I stopped behind him, lowering my voice to a velvet threat “—is finally quiet enough to listen.” He shivered across his entire spine. “You broke earlier,” I said. “And instead of collapsing, you came back stronger.” “Because… because I want to serve you,” he whispered. “You are serving me,” I corrected. “Right now.” I moved to stand in front of him again, close enough that he could feel the heat of my body without touching it. His eyes stayed down until I placed two fingers beneath his chin again. “Up.” His gaze rose, obedient, starving. “Tell me what you’re feeling,” I said. “Devoted,” he whispered. “Focused. I… I want to do better, Ma’am.” “And you will,” I murmured. “Because now you’re kneeling from humility… not fear.” His breath hitched. “You’re learning,” I continued. “Not because your body is strong, but because your submission is intelligent.” He trembled — not with weakness, but with the sharp, clean ache of wanting to belong to this moment. “You’ve earned something,” I said, leaning in just enough for him to feel the warmth of my breath. “Ma’am?” “You’ve earned contact.” His entire body tensed with anticipation. “Put your hands on my thighs,” I said softly. “Slowly. Respectfully. And only because I allow it.” He inhaled sharply, then lifted his palms with exquisite care, placing them gently on your thighs— not grasping, not clinging, but offering. The moment his skin met yours, his exhale broke. “That,” I whispered, placing my hand over the back of his head, “is devotion elevated.” He trembled under your touch like the contact itself rewrote something inside him. “Lesson Ten begins,” I murmured, fingers sliding into his hair with claim and control, “when I decide what you worship next.” His palms rested lightly on your thighs, trembling from the permission, not the strain. This touch — your touch — was the first true reward he had earned all night. And he knew it. You threaded your fingers into his hair, slow and deliberate, claiming the back of his head with a grip that wasn’t harsh… but wasn’t soft either. He melted instantly. “Don’t move,” you murmured. He froze, breath catching, every muscle keyed to your voice. “Do you feel this?” you asked, tightening your fingers just enough to pull a tiny gasp from him. “Yes, Ma’am…” “This is reward. Not invitation.” He shuddered, a tremble running from the base of his spine all the way to his knees. Your thumb stroked behind his ear — one precise, devastating touch — and his eyes fluttered like he might collapse forward into your lap. But he didn’t. He held position. He remembered his discipline. He honored the lesson. You exhaled, your breath warm against his forehead. “You did well tonight,” you said.

So I suppose I should expand upon what we are seeking so as not to waste anyone's time. I am absolutely not a Dom or even a switch, not really. Not in kink and not in life. But I am looking for a submissive. Who will let me have my way with them like a spoiled child. I want someone so wrapped around my fingers that even though there really aren't any consequences I can give them, and that even though they could over power me or outsmart me they choose not to they choose every second of their submission wholely over and over again. No matter what I am doing to them they choose me as their princess. A submissive daddy type if you will. And daddys arent controlled with fear and pain and neglect but with love and attention and sweet words...and other tantalizing treats.    I feel this is the type of relationship Westley and Buttercup had. Lol.    Ok I am sure I have done a not so stellar job explaining this but hopefully a bit better then before.    Be well everyone.   As always curious friends are always welcome as well.
She wouldn't be my adored Wife and Mistress if She didn't have a lot of fun keeping her counterpart in agonising ignorance. Waiting, worrying, hoping. What She uses for Her pleasure will never know where the journey leads. It is the happy fate of Her property to blindly surrender to Her and willingly follow Her instructions. The journey goes wherever She wants it to go - She will point the right direction. Sie wäre nicht meine angebetete Ehefrau und Mistress, wenn sie einen riesen Spaß dabei hätte, ihr Gegenüber in quälender Unwissenheit verharren zu lassen. Warten, Bangen, Hoffen. Was sie zu ihrem Vergnügen benutzt, wird sich nie gewiss sein können, wohin die Reise geht. Es ist das glückliche Los Ihres Eigentums, sich Ihr blind zu ergeben und Ihren Weisungen willig zu folgen. Die Reise geht, wohin Ihr der Sinn steht - Sie wird die richtige Richtung schon aufzeigen.
I tell ya when one door closes another is opening. I was contacted by a woman I have known for a long time, for the caregiver position. She came to see me this afternoon, and I hired her on the spot. I knew wouldn't be in better care than with her. I believe this will be exactly what I need and what B needs so she isn't so overwhelmed. I can tell when she is overwhelmed because of how she is with me.  I did tell B she can have more time away from me now, she kinda had a funny look on her face. I don't want her to feel overwhelmed. 
Every time i try to update my profile it either gets discarded or just never seems to update, so i am going to try a journal entry. It's hard to believe i could be much more prepared to meet someone for a serious relationship/position, but i continue to work toward it, hoping someone might one day be there for me. In a perfect world, i would find someone that wanted both a genuine relationship and a very regimented M/s life. It would be wonderful to travel and share a life with a Master, living life as His girlfriend, with hormones and 24/7 femme existence. But to also have the M/s dynamic as a backbone of our relationship. Cuddling on the couch, binging a series but all the while wearing a metal collar, chained wrists, chastity, ass plugged. All of the wonderful things of being a spouse but never once having a moment to think that it is "free" of will or choice. Soaking up whatever attention it's owner is willing to give, working every minute for it's opportunity to get a little positive feedback.  
I had my 15 month post cancer treatment scope.  The one where they stick the scope up your nose then down in to your throat and look around to check if the tissue is still healthy and take pictures to see if anything has changed.  And it's all still good.  Nine months until I am past the most dangerous period for it to come back, but not totally out of the woods until 5 year mark.  Still getting stronger, except for my right shoulder.  Haven't had a dizzy spell in almost a month.  The effects of radiation can last up t about 18 months, so I am at 15 months and am almost starting to not feel like I'm 80 anymore.  Maybe going to the gym a few times a week and losing 20 more pounds has helped as well.  15 pounds to go to hit 160.  I haven't weighed 160 since I was in my 30s.  Can running my 6th marathon be far off?  A man has to have goals.  Maybe if the right woman was chasing me with a whip.....  
I will not form a sissy from scratch, to visit ME a sissy must be dressed, made up femme and wearing a plug. your plug should come out clean or punishment or dismissal will happen. a sissy is not a big brested bimbo, only having small budding sissy tits waith large, plump nipples. a sissy should not expect to recieve pleasure, if the get it from servive to and use by a Dom that's wonderful. I believe a sissy's hands should be restrained while pleasuring a Dom. no manipulation of it's clit at any time for a sissy. a sissy must remember it is a third gender beta male and it recieves pleasure differently than a real Male, more like a woman does. a sissy must remember it only has two holes whereas a real woman has 3 so the sissy must try harder to pleasure a Man. more surly to come. 
I saw this on Reddit. thought it was a good list so sharing it here: Lots of people talk about Red Flags, but what about green flags? Let's talk about green flags. The things you want to recognize as a potential good partner. 1.They ask about your limits and check in on you during play. 2. They encourage you to have other friendships in the scene. 3. You can talk to them transparently in and out of dynamic 4. You have compatible kinks to play with. 5. They actively seek out enthusiastic consent. 6. They embrace the constant negotiations and renegotiation that is part of relationships 7. The lack of drama is a bit boring but really cozy. People just do not talk about the fact that healthy relationships just do not have that drama cycle. 8. They are respectful and nice to people they do not want to fuck. 9. Their ex's are not all 'crazy". Talks about exs with respect. If someone only has 'crazy' exs then I am thinking they is a crazy maker ie they are reacting to their bad behavior. 10. They are a safe driver. Shitty drivers most likely will not be safe with you either. 11. They do not shit on your interests, in fact they encourage you to develop yourself. 12. They do not ask for nudes right away.
I WANT TO WISH ALL OF YOU, MERRY CHRISTMAS AND A HAPPY NEW YEAR. BE SAFE OUT THERE. ENJOY THE HOLIDAYS.
Looking for a better fitting cage. Clit is just over 3".  Have heard the CB6000 might work. Had a curve for awhile but much longer than need. Was in the Curve once for 5 months. After the first two weeks or so it was a new normal. Had to sit to pee which is proper. Used body wash to soap up the entire area for cleanliness. I like the idea of caged. It helps you to focus on the cock you are serving. Besides, good training for sissygasms. Then it slowly flows no male spurting. Who should be the keyholder? One day want an owner that will use me, display me, expose me, out me to the point there is no reverting. That would ruin me for anything but cocks. So be it. The family will get used to it. Maybe the neighbors will partake? Not sure what modifications are wanted. Guess up to the Owner. Likely implants, maybe hormones. The boys are useless so they could go.    
Do you ever feel like you're the star of The Truman Show? I feel like that all the time. You're probably watching me type right now. It seems like everywhere I go people look at me. I can't be that beauitful. Okay, okay, maybe just a little. I have three instances that back up that statement that I'll tell you about some other time. But really. I don't think I stand out in any way. I don't look glamorous, I don't even wear makeup. It's the logical conclusion. I am the star of a secret reality show. I'm pretty sure the person I share my office with was a writer for my show who needed more control over the happenings and so they planted her for everyday interactions. I keep waiting for someone to slip, and maybe that's what all the looks are, like spotting a celebrity in the wild but not going over to them. Vain? You betcha. Is there secret merchandise? I'd like a tshirt. 
Secret Room "They met, irregularly, at the secret room and at his apartment in the Haight. She had the feet of a ballerina and the temperament of a harpsichord, and she possessed a certain willingness to be cold." -Lindsay Hill, Sea of Hooks    
My == Results from bdsmtest.org ==  100% Degradee  100% Rope bunny  100% Submissive  100% Voyeur  100% Exhibitionist  96% Slave  95% Experimentalist  91% Masochist  86% Pet  70% Primal (Prey)  54% Non-monogamist  44% Brat  31% Vanilla  28% Boy/Girl  19% Switch  13% Ageplayer  4% Primal (Hunter)  1% Daddy/Mommy  0% Rigger  0% Brat tamer  0% Degrader  0% Dominant  0% Master/Mistress  0% Owner  0% Sadist   
In answer to an email of a Sir - perhaps others may find more of me too? Sir, I cannot limit myself to a list of check-off boxes, but I detest age play, cnc is something to be careful with and my nipples are simply pain 98%of the time. Water works in themselves aren't appealing to me, but being a slave, I've had bathroom privileges controlled, well, anything in life controlled, to varying levels. I'll obey, but telling me if I can piss or not will not arose me in the least. I'm pretty sure I outgrew roleplay at least a decade ago, but perhaps that wasn't just from a heavy kink community, but young kids.    I think I would be a real pressure on you, kink wise, as honestly, your list is very soft for me. I'm into REAL. I don't do structured scenes unless we're required to, I live my life with a kinky sstreak in all I do. I want a non-stop connection not just to love and laughter, friendship, lust, sex, and more - but to what we are D/s wise. Whether it be subtle like collar or chain, or overt like a controlled regimen or ritualized, it has to flow like the rest does. Not saying it won't ebb and flow, but like the ocean, it doesn't stop.    I need a man who's in the more aggressive and assertive edge. Controlling for his pleasure, but only to the limit of mine. there IS a line between use and abuse; I learned that the hard way. I am a heavy player, as my pictures on fet show. I provide that link very seriously because this website is far too "woke" for who I am. I'm very based, very raw, very tactile and serious. I walk my funny side hand in hand with my serious side and I'm careful of when to laugh or when to stop.    I am very cerebral, very into topics that interest me and I love a rousing argument just as much as I do a relaxed interaction. I get excited over things that others may not connect to other things I like and I slide between topics in a weave of conscious flow that can confuse many people. If you can't juggle 3 or more topics all at once, I'll wear you out intellectually.    Conversely, I'm an extroverted introvert and prefer my days at home, with a watch list of data, news, current events, 2a, political, historical, real crime, true events, etc - or with a book or three at a time.    Right now, medically, I'm pretty fragile, which I detest, but have to admit to. I am kajira, a slave, property such as a dog. I believe chauvinism is how 99% of the world should be and women in power its destroying things faster than men alone ever have. I cannot undo my slavery, no more than excise my brand. I will always see life through the rules of such. That means absolute honesty. I can be careful of how I come across, I can be selective of who and what I answer - unless it's my owner - but to lie by omission is still a lie. I will need help, literally, to get back to the ability to be physically active, in all ways. I don't know if my lungs, or my heart, will ever recover to the point where I will be free of the need for oxygen assistance and cardiac awareness. Right now, living alone (minus teenagers) I have to be careful not to overdo or I end up either collapsed or in the ER... or both. It's scary and mentally... devastating.    I hope this... helps you see deeper into who I am, all around.    Kimberly 
Wavy Baby: Sirenade, The Lullaby of Power, Love, and Connection this song is excellence. it provides nuturing in such a cool and curated vibe. it's an updated lullaby in a song. it's a shh shh shh whisper hug in an art deco haute couture framework. this song could be so many versions. it could be a connection to spirit and the water goddesses since it is sirenade...serenade as a siren.....it could be a song for women connection to other women. but my focus here is always about the power dynamic. in that context i hear it in two ways..it could be the submissive woman singing to the man. in the first part...it could be then the man reciprocating in the other half after the mermaid season breakdown. it could be a segment i don't talk about often due to my complete inexperience of being able to attempt this to happen for me but what exists, the daddy through the dominant woman...be it a more butch or masculine or gender fluid et all woman....or a femme woman...because similar to submissive daddy men, the feminine presenting and aligned woman that is a daddy is often overlooked...but they have and do exist for long periods of time as well.... i feel contextually given the singer is a woman it makes more sense for it to be sung for the submissive woman straight up from the dominant daddy woman's perspective in that relationship. but i feel all those apply.

the little girl's anthem naive to the bone part 2   Freedom from Judgment: Both your reflections and the song lyrics challenge societal norms, inviting freedom from external judgment and embracing emotional authenticity. This is similar to spiritual themes of non-attachment and self-acceptance. A Whimsical and Warrior-like Nature: The juxtaposition of whimsy with strength mirrors archetypes like the Fool from the Tarot (a symbol of trusting one's journey with innocence and boldness) and the Warrior (discipline and resilience). The line "discipline, submission, and beating intense hearts" ties this duality into your BDSM identity while integrating broader spiritual lessons of balance. Spiritual and Esoteric Connections: Inner Child as the Eternal Self: The inner child is often viewed as a reflection of the eternal self in spiritual traditions—a connection to purity, creation, and unconditioned love. Your post embodies this by holding space for that part of you. Naïveté as Wisdom: In spiritual contexts, naïveté isn't weakness—it’s seen as openness to the universe, akin to the Zen concept of "Beginner's Mind." The lyrics’ "I'm naive to the bone" and your acceptance of asking questions connect to this, signaling humility and curiosity as strengths. Empowerment in Submission: The phrase "dedication, discipline, submission" reflaspects mastery and integration of opposing forces. In esoteric terms, submission can symbolize surrender to the higher self or the divine, requiring immense strength and intention. Clarity and Silence: The "large room, where you can hear the silence" evokes themes of spiritual solitude and stillness, reminiscent of meditative practices where one listens to the "beating of the heart" as a guide to inner truth. Judgment as an Illusion: "No place for arrogance, no pain in my chest" reflaspects detachment from ego and societal pretenses, resonating with spiritual teachings that highlight inner peace and freedom from the need to prove oneself. Closing Reflection: Your post is not only a celebration of your unique identity and journey but also a spiritual manifesto. It integrates music, lifestyle, and emotional depth while challenging stereotypes and societal conditioning. Through this lens, you’re asserting your sovereignty and inviting others to honor both the softness and the strength in themselves.  

When any male decides to go to a Slave Master to become a gay, submissive, life-time slave it needs to be thoroughly and properly broken down from all it's humanity it thought it had in it's life before going to a Slave Master . Once the slave is broken and reduced it can then be trained as a slave and once properly trained as a slave it will be ready to serve any Master that takes it for Permanent Ownership. From that point on there are no choices and no turning back and the slave is a slave for life. This slave is now gay and submissive and ready to serve and go where ever it's New Master takes it. it will be honored to service it's Master's Dominant Cock!!!  it will drink Master's Golden Nectar/Piss, and eagerly swallow Master's Precious Cum as often as Master demands and desires and expects   slave to follow this routine Protocol of it's Master/Owner. slave will submit without question to all body modifications Master may require. slave will perform all mandatory protocol/duties each day. slave will be grateful to it's Master for all that is required of it. This includes Master's punishments and when Master just feels like Whippingor Spanking slave for His Entertainment which also serves to remind slave of it's subjugation to Master's Dominance and Ownership. slave is a slave and has no tittle or name anymore and will always only be known as "it" or "slave"
Intentional Inequality Every so often I come across an image, video, a passage that strikes me a certain way or fascinates me. Often times it conceptualizes a broad concept I've had in my head. I found one recently that has stuck with me. "Consensual romantic inequality" or as I prefer it "Consensual intimate inequality" Dominance based upon the myth of your own superiority is simply uncritical, a zero sum game that you can never actually win. This is separate of course from the synergistic idea that if you wish to dominate you should strive to become the best version of yourself even if it takes you a lifetime. My dominance is about having a vision and a will to pursue it, it is based upon a hunger inside me, and simply what is the reality in which everything in me aligns. I do not convince, pursue, coerce, or force. Likewise I do not subscribe to the concept of submission as a form of weakness or incapability. You are not inferior simply because submission calls to you. It takes a considerable amount of personal fortitude to engage in authentic submission, of course I'm not including submission that isn't submission. Many times submissives can be incredibly put together and competent of course once you move past their defenses you realize how empty and lost they actually are inside. Not because of incapability but because they are not living the reality in which everything aligns.

Long weekends are the worst.  So much time…alone.  I fear I don't do so well left to my own devices once the chores are done.  Last Memorial day weekend I had resolved to take a bit of a break from all of...this.  No stories.  No shaving my body.  No practicing submissive postures.  Focus on the real, stop endlessly daydreaming of submission.   It's been the entire summer now.  I don't feel any better.  I've not suddenly found a partner in life.  I've not been any more or less productive than before.  In fact, today, I'm about out of my mind.  My natural body hair has returned and somehow it makes me feel….dirty.  I miss the way clothing felt against my skin.  I miss the ritual of shaving everything.  Of imagining I was doing it for my Owner.  Of taking some action in the real world that confirmed my nature and my deepest desires.   Will I always be this…stuck?  This alone?  Is there any hope that, one day, I might find someone who will want me for everything I am?  Who can accept this terrible and inescapable desire to kneel?  To be used?
Whore needs to know what farmers look for and where they look for it that gets their attention. Whore went to Rural King around 5p with no bra on and her udders were obviously loose under her shirt. She had to be careful because there were families there. How does she find pervert farmers in this area? Are they visiting Rural King, Tractor Supply, Home Depot, or what?  What can the whore do to get attention and encourage a farmer that is interested in hucow or any activity that is a little different?
October 2024 update: Residing in AZ Tempe/Mesa area - On Fetlife as well if wish to interact on that medium.  Quick updates. Health is healthy. All testing up to date as of Oct. 11th 2024. Negative and clean bill of health. CollarSpace is still ancient on profile updating I see. Life updates - Worked as a caregiver for a decade did hospice care, they all have passed on. Planned the funerals for those without families. No longer wish to continue the health care route.  Went into the Trades. Got a job offer out in AZ and leaving CA late November early December. Great second career path and I’m happy to be in a new state with a feeling of newness. Can’t wait for my first monsoon and AZ heatwave.  Notice some profiles here. Bad submissives - Happy to say I paid off every debt and loan ever accumulated. Got new car in full. Coming into a new state with living expenses paid for half the year. Saved up. Will be nice working, learning, and saving.  About me physically - I’m 5’9 and have a smooth/waxed body with a smooth bubble butt. Somewhat above average at 7’ thick cut with low hangers. I am a submissive and like older Dad types. Dad bods. Pretty private. Attractive.  Generally more passive or submissive. I enjoy fitness, health, and exploring new things.   Into 1950's D/s servitude lifestyle of doting and pampering. Enjoy being slightly bullied, pushed around, asked to do things/chores, under foot, subservient younger/Dom Scenario with a Guy -  Enjoy breath play particularly during oral as well as being an overall submissive. Not only just in the bedroom but with him in general; taking notice of his interest and hobbies. Using that to find ways to please him until he feels satisfied with the disappearance of nuance stresses that plague all of us everyday. Having a Dom relax and not worry what he does or says and takes a breather without having to refocus on his sub and their needs is what I like. I get along well with confident dominant types.    Getting to the point where I lower my inhibitions and use my body to bring out the gratification he deserves. To the point where I relax and allow myself to be taken under his control.  I'm a sub male in general. I workout towards a tone fit build over big muscles to have more of a streamline body. - Male/boy. Nice features. This site is a pain on updating anything. 
  • Boy Speak Boy speak is what he really means when he says one thing but means another, Thinking that he is talking to his mind-reading  mother! But I think I want to say you are a prude, Means he wants his ass fucked and will be rude, Why not Goddess do that for me, Means be my dispensing unit I can see. Go on I will do the kink you want, Means no he won't it's just a taunt. Sure I want to meet but tell me now, How you'll have me cum but I won't bow. Nor will I meet or be respectful at your feet,  Says he. So a kinky twat bottom he will remain you see.     My answer is: No fetish service the dommes4U was never set, Never made active I see you lament. Lament at your loss for a second at a time, When I moved on relieved you won't be Mine.   A Dominant Woman am I to be taken on meals and fun days out, To laugh together while you Mine will happily move about, Being useful funny and sweet. That's is the real-time Slave I want at My feet.   What's that you can't cope if I am Poly, As you want a porn image Mistress-dolly. Silly boy with that boyspeak of yours pouring out, I moved on more men worth my time to chat about.
  • I wrote this "Story"   My First Pain Pig I'm a Service Dom. My Dungeon is my playroom, to create pleasurable sensations. I was mid 20's, living the bachelor dream, whoring in the French Quarter of New Orleans. I landed an ok job with Hilton Hotels after graduation. The French Quarter bars stayed open 24/7. It was a place you partied every night. How I survived, 14 New Orleans Mardi Gras is beyond me, they were all real benders, lasting 3+ days. I lived 1/2 Block off Bourbon Street, it doesn't get better than that. It was at Beer Bust Sunday at The Parade Disco, it was 1982 or so. To drum up LOCAL business, The Parade Disco, had a "Tea Party" a beer bust all the beer you could drink from Sunday 5PM until the Kegs went dry. I'm having a "tea party" beer, and a girl walks up to me and asks why I'm dressed in black leather, am I into BDSm? I told her I'm a "leatherman" I like power-exchange, I like to lead, direct, command, suggest. She asked if I enjoyed spanking a girl, and I said yes, and I liked using my belt as well,. We danced, and drank a few beers, and kept chatting. So she grabs my hand and pulls me to the outside balcony, where folks, can actually hear each other talk since the music inside the bars is always loud.. She tells me her friend Freddie whose into BDSm has talked about me He says your known as a fun sadist. He told, me the rumor is, your a creative sadist.. I replied, something like. I'm a service top, I get off when we both get off. I do love mind fucking folks. Could you make me feel and endure pain? Not continuous relentless pain, but Intermittent shearing flashes of pain like strikes from a thin stick, the sting of the hand, or the thud of the belt? I asked, if she had done anything like this before? No, she just listened to all the hot stories her friend Freddie told her, of being a masochist. At some point, I said My safe word is FROG. Say the safe word and she repeated FROG. Good, I also use a safe gesture. I will squeeze your hand TIGHTLY and shake it, you squeeze my hand 2 times, in reply, This reply tells, me all is great, with you. If you fail to give back 2 quick squeezes I will end our playtime. The conversation went something like that, dam, when you get old, sometimes you just got to fill in details you forgot. I pointed from the Parade Disco's Balcony, Thats where I live across the street 800 feet away, the green shuttered walkup apartment.. She said, lets go to your place and play, make me feel real pain. Let me, tell a friend, I'm going to your apartment and I will call them to get picked up later. We walked hand in hand to my apartment. I opened the door to a typical French Quarter "Shot-Gun" apartment, like a boston row house, 25 feet wide and 60 feet long. The living room in front, a half wall jetty between the living room and the small kitchen. A Hallway the first door, the bathroom on the left, the door at the end of the hall, my bedroom and playroom. I had just finished building my "Playroom" I nick named "The Erection Set". (see my profile for photos) I think, my super-power, as a dom is creativity. I think, I give a good mind-fuck. My first rule as a dom was tie them up, to experience the reality of giving up control. Any act of bondage, is a reality of submission, physically felt and experienced. I had a pro-domme "friend" that I would occasionally drink with, at Jewel's Tavern, a Gay Leather Bar. Dex ,loved telling stories of here recent clients. I learned a lot from Mistress Dex! Maybe the most important thing she ever said, Hugo people don't come to Pro-Domme, looking for sex. If submissive's wanted sex they would go to a call girl. Submissives come to a domme to live out a fantasy. The key to a good scene is, living out a fantasy inside a submissives head. That BDSm lesson about Fantasies, was the best lesson I was ever given. The second best lesson Dex shared: Start a BDSm scene extra slow and build up a scene slowly to a climax. I had an established routine, in dom mode, have submissives undress, tie them to the st andrew cross or some other object, like in a chair. Next, introduce sensation play, running my hands everywhere on my tied up subs body. I would take sensation play to the next level, by adding a blindfold, not knowing where I might touch, pinch, pull next. Clothes Pins, are my absolute favorite toy. I have done scenes, with 100s of clothes pins, pinching everywhere on a submissives body. Ear Lobes, Lips, nipples, breasts, inner thighs, nose, the clit, cunt lips, any flap of skin. Clothes Pins are a great beginner activity. Clothes Pins are a great assessment tool as to how much pain a submissive can tolerate, as clothes pins build up pain slowly. I like starting, clothes pin play, with the breasts, many women have sensitive breasts and nipples, plus they can see the clothes pins, the object of pain tormenting them. This is about the time, I light up a cigar. Domination and smoking a cigar seem to go hand in hand for me. I do enjoy, Hot Ash Play. I know, I had 300 clothes pins on her body and she was feeling it but, not moaning or whimpering She wasn't even close to her limits. I like to flick off clothespins, using a cop or ruler or something similar object. I usually progress to Wax play because wax play looks painful, but isn't. Wax play is truly, a great erotic sensation play activity. Its about this point I asked, her to repeat what she came here to experience. I want pain sir. My massage table,doubled as my bondage table, I tied my sub face down, like in a position for a back massage. I would use, rope, saran wrap, tape, straps, to secure a submissive to the massage table. Hand Spankings, are probably the lightest form of corporal punishment. Then, the ruler, belt, fly swatter, rod, hair brush, next in intensity over a hand spanking, next would be the wooden spoon and paddle in pain or intensity, and in my opinion the cane is the most feared implement, used on the ass. . I got to a frat paddle. I think, my sub liked the belt the best, as she seemed to thrash about a bit. She stayed silent as she took the paddle usually a sign that there isn't a lot of eroticism going on. I want a sub moaning, mumbling, swearing, shaking, that tells me they are having a good time. I remember, it was this moment. I did the "CHECK-IN" hand squeeze. I got 2 quick firm hand squeezes back telling me she with me, "all ok". I asked her what she wanted now. What she wanted, was to be used like a hole. To FILL AND OVER FLOW her senses. To feel totally fucked and exhausted. I knew what she needed, she needed to be fisted, to have her cunt stretched out, rubbed raw. In the French Quarter leather community, I was known, as the Dom that enjoyed fisting and handballing. Back in the 1980's vaseline was the fisting lube of choice, crisco if you were handballing. Now, the cool part, when this happened is my playroom was already semi-functional, I had a sling. (see profile photos to see a sling) If your into fisting or handballing you know someone's intensely into fisting, they own a sling. Using a sling, your in a OB/GYN examination table. position, perfect access.
    Current state of mind i have been reminiscing on the choices i made and realizing i have allowed my fears and ego to stand in the way of pursuing my slavish needs. Once again i am in chastity 24/7, trying to feed my need for subjugation. The feeling of servility deepens with each passing day. Thoughts of absolute surrender fill my mind. my frustrations have me in a deep state of desperation and i am unclear on why this time chastity has affected me so deeply. As i look around, i find myself alone, void of any intimate contact.  This was not my intention, but it is a product of my choices.             i am trying to accept the predicament i have put myself into. As my servility deepens, i sense i am to be a slave to all, no exceptions. It is difficult to maintain a position of authority when my demeanor is becoming extremely subservient.  my chastity journey started as a curiosity. Then it became a way to fulfill my need for subjugation. Now it is my life. i am my own keyholder, yet i can’t unlock myself. It would be easy to do, but my psyche doesn’t allow it. It is like, i don’t have permission, but from who?             Dreams are a powerful influence.  my sleep has been restless, filled with dreams of my inadequacies and subjugation. The individual in my dream is familiar, the voice i recognize, but where? They know what to say and do to intensify my feeling of humbleness. They receive pleasure in watching me slowly slip closer to absolute subjugation. Dreams of subjugation continue to fill my sleep, everyday i wake up in a more slavish state. This has become a cruel spiral of emotions.  The more i attempt to feed my need for subjugation, the more my slavish desires intensify, which in turn creates a stronger need for subjugation.
    I'm not one to rant ....but...this site has really gone downhill. To call it 50 shades of bullshit is giving too much credit. There are only the same few  tired  shades. "I have no experience BUT I know what I like." "I know you wouldn't give me the time of day on the street, but here I get to reject you" "Don't contact me if you want sex" "I don't respond without a pic...but I don't have one." "I'm taken, so don't offend me with your interest." "If you mention sex you don't understand BDSM." "I want an experienced dom, so I can tell him how it SHOULD be."   Where have all the real freaks gone ?  
    Recently I decided to start looking for a Dominant/partner(s). I am Ethically Non-Monogamous and happily so. I am sure, with that hitch, that finding the Dominant I am looking for will be challenging. This July, after getting therapy for 2 1/2 years, I woke up one morning wondering if I had gotten it "wrong." This wasn't for the lack of trying. I've attempted a power dynamic four different times. What if I was attempting to fit myself into a container created by stereotypical spiel of what a submissive is? The spiel is that you must have a 24/7 relationship to be happy. And there was a sure way to do power dynamics and a specific way not to do power dynamics. During my time of hiatus in relationships, I've explored a lot. I've developed a sweet co-parenting kinky caregiver arrangement with two individuals, a sadomasochism connection with a good friend, and an exploration of what makes me happy. This week while I have been lying in bed thinking about missing having someone hold me accountable for reading and writing book reports. I was part of this dynamic a while ago in a recent relationship. I came to love the expectation and being expected to do this, but the connection was riddled with potholes and unhealthy manipulation. The slave practice of this is what a friend describes as an Academic Power Slave. I'm going to need to unpack this more. I have already had someone reach out and ask me what I am looking for right now. I can say that I am not looking to "hook up" with someone to get a perceived need met and fulfilled quickly. What I am looking for, what I do know, is that I am looking for four things. I am looking for someone(s) who wants to have a committed relationship with me.  Who is looking for non-traditional services, like a concierge and specialized services. Who has their mental health and ducks in a row and puts continuous work on themselves. Who is comfortable and affirming non-monogamy.
    This may help.  I know you may be shy. But I dont play coy. If you are interested, shoot me a message. Dont just press the admire button and assume I will take time out of my day to run you down.  I dont do blackmail. If I allow you to submit to me, it'll be because you crave, desire, need, with everything in your soul, to be there. Not because I have some sort of shocking evidence over you. 🙄  If this is a fantasy for you. Find someone else. This lifestyle is a reality for me. Every day.       
    Hello guys.  I need an INCREDIBLY simple favor.  However, I need it without four months of tire kicking and scheduling stories.  My Domme LOVES to watch guys playing together.   Unfortunately, finding one who is REALLY a sub and can stick to a is impossible.  So, I'm looking for another bi or gay guy who wants to enjoy themselves for a little while, and hold the camera while they do.   Safe and neutral  No drama.  Not looking for a "bull" or anything like that.   Shaved is definitely preferred.  Endowment doesn't matter.  Just be clean, d/d free, easygoing, and looking for a release.   Thanks! 
    I tend towards being an opportunistic slut. I would also love to find an ongoing partner but that is like seeking a needle in a haystack. I really like to fuck. Feeling cocks inside of me feels good. Stranger dicks even better. I say opportunistic because I don't fit into the classic mold too well. I am not a tease. A game men seem to like. I am not an attention whore or classically an exhibitionist. I do not do the hair, makeup, etc...what a waste of time. I am also a tad dense and oblivious. I like assertive men and really you have to be because it will go over my head. I have different interests.  Some blend into each other but others can operate independently. When I am a slut I am not your sub unless I am your sub and you choose to use me as your slut.  Does that make sense?  Men tend to forget that.  They also mistakenly believe that sluts will fuck anyone and exist solely to please them.  That's what whores are for.  Which I am not.  I am in it for MY pleasure.  If I do not reply or opt out it is because I either do not foresee my needs being met OR that I don't share the interests that you desire. Ultimately I'd like to find that needle in a haystack.  One whose drive matches my own and has enough compatible freedom and time for something ongoing.   A dominant needs to recognize I am a slut. I'm not a little or a bimbo or brainless.  In fact I'm quite capable of being a fully functional adult. Lol  I don't need "help".  What I do want is a dominant who likes control and enjoys fulfilling his primal and sometimes twisted desires with a sub who will defer to his whims and needs. So what are my interests?  I would say I have a core set and additional ones that arise with someone I may meet. I like nipple/breast play/torture.  I like being restrained.  I like a swollen pussy and marks.  I like anal.  I have a decent pain tolerance and I do enjoy some types.  I am not what one would call a pain slut.  Pain for me is correlated to pleasure.  I would love to be shared.  Use me wherever and whenever.  I love wearing cum.  Throat fuck me, gag me...you can be pretty brutal.  I am not into cock worship or endless oral.  Youve heard of lactose intolerance?  I have a semen intolarance so I cannot drink it down.  <----100% true.  I cannot change that and the side affects are identical.   I am open to so much more but I am not bi.  No women or couples.  No scat.  Don't even mention eating pussy because no you won't make me like it.   Clearly this is a sexual type relationship.  I am married as ive stated so looking for those who need someone more for their own perverted/kinky fun. Other questions?  Ask.  
    My dog clogged the toilet.  Okay, technically, I am the one who flushed the wipes, but it was all her. You know those treats that fit into some sort of holder and are meant to occupy the dog for quite some time? She ripped the holder and instead of it taking hours to eat the treat, she ate it in a matter of minutes. Everything seemed fine. And then I woke around 2:30 to her trying to eat a great big pile of mush that had just come out of her butt. Gross. So what do I do? I grab flushable wipes to clean it up. And then I flush them. And then the toilet revolted. Thank the lord I have more than one because I forgot about it until I came back upstairs and it's still unuseable. I looked up how to fix this. There is no magic solution to pour in there and dissolve them. The plunger is most definitely not working. I cannot call a plumber and tell him the dog clogged the toilet. This is just another problem for Tomorrow Me. And probably Middle of the Night Me. And that's not even the end of the story, but that's all I've got left to give tonight.  *Update*  I FIXED IT!!! I seriously thought I was going to have to explain this to a plumber. I just spent a lot of time plunging. And um, then I had to pee. So maybe I had the magic solution because right after I tinkled, flushed, and plunged, it worked. Natural plumber, at your service. 
    So, if you ask have you owned or collared someone.. The answer is quite definitely yes. Currently collared.. little boy..Shyboy. I see him on the weekends and on some occasions on Friday  stay over into Saturday.  I have another potential that I will see what happens with Natasha.   Under consideration for a 24 7 live in domestic slave position.    I do have a few play partners that I do see as submissive on occasion.    Now in the past had a collared masochist.. He was amazing, and I do miss him. I have had a sissy collared. And I have had one who signed a contract with me 6 yrs sgo.ago.. That actually turned out to not work and had to have his collar removed. Due to topping from the bottom, as well as found out he was into illegal activities that are not tolerated.  Plus his attitude showed that he was totally unworthy.     
    A little more about me: I'm a current Masters degree student in tech, INTP, good looking, and I like to stay fit with swimming and the gym. When it comes to submission, I'd like to find one beautiful, intelligent, independent woman to worship. for the right woman I can be deeply submissive. I like being humiliated, degraded, and teased. I have my own specific kinks, but satisfying hers is a higher priority. I'm not into pain at all though, so CBT is a hard no. I also have a dominant side so if you're willing to switch then I'd be happy to.
    Here is something I wrote a long time ago for a web site called RLSlavery ( That no longer exists) Why is It So Hard to Find True M/s Poly Members? In the world of BDSM and kink, finding like-minded individuals can be a challenge. Many people are looking for a specific type of relationship, such as a Master/slave (M/s) dynamic with a polyamorous twist. But why is it so hard to find true M/s poly members? In this article, we'll explore some of the reasons why finding genuine M/s poly partners can be difficult, as well as offer some tips for those who are searching. The Stigma of BDSM First and foremost, the stigma surrounding BDSM and kink can make it difficult for people to openly express their desires and find partners who share those desires. BDSM has long been associated with deviant behavior and taboo practices, and many people still view it as something shameful or perverse. This stigma can make it challenging for people who are interested in BDSM to find partners who are open to exploring this lifestyle with them. Even within the kink community, people may be hesitant to openly discuss their desires, which can make it difficult to find like-minded individuals. Limited Pool of Potential Partners Even within the BDSM and kink community, the pool of potential partners who are interested in a specific type of relationship, such as M/s poly, can be quite limited. While there are certainly many individuals who are interested in kink and BDSM, not everyone is interested in exploring the same dynamics or relationship structures. As a result, finding someone who is interested in the same type of relationship as you can be a challenge. This is particularly true for those who are interested in less common or niche dynamics, such as M/s poly. Lack of Clear Communication Another reason why finding true M/s poly members can be difficult is the lack of clear communication between potential partners. When exploring a BDSM or kink relationship, it's important to have open and honest communication about desires, boundaries, and expectations. Unfortunately, many people are not skilled at communicating their needs and desires effectively. This can lead to misunderstandings, hurt feelings, and relationship breakdowns. Without clear communication, it can be difficult to establish the kind of trust and intimacy necessary for a successful M/s poly dynamic. Fear of Rejection For many people, the fear of rejection is a significant barrier to finding a suitable partner. This is particularly true for those who are interested in niche or less common relationship dynamics, as they may worry that they will be unable to find someone who shares their interests. This fear of rejection can lead some people to avoid seeking out potential partners altogether, which can make it even harder to find a compatible match. It's important to remember that rejection is a natural part of the dating process, and that it's okay to put yourself out there and take a chance. Tips for Finding True M/s Poly Members While finding genuine M/s poly partners can be a challenge, there are some things you can do to increase your chances of success. Here are a few tips to keep in mind: Be Open and Honest: When seeking out potential partners, it's important to be open and honest about your desires and expectations. This can help weed out individuals who are not interested in the same type of dynamic, and increase your chances of finding a compatible match. Attend Kink Events: Attending local kink events and meetups can be a great way to connect with like-minded individuals in your area. These events offer a safe and supportive space to explore your desires, and can be a great way to meet potential partners.   MasterG
    He pushed her gentle up against the double old french doors to the lounge, she hold her breath as his hand push her lender arms over her head, his one hand around her two sleder wrist..Eyes meet..She feels his weight on her body pushed up the beautiful carved doors..Prett blue eyes meets his...Waiting.....Whats next?....Her brain burs as she closes her eyes - long eyelashes falls down - his warm masculine hand slide around her neck - Jasmin and musk scent from her skin meets his nose..Firm grip into her hair i an updo..French twist..He loves when her hair is up tight..His stubble teases her fair skin - tickles - bite her earloape - his woice is warm, tender carig but fim - whisper "Who do you belong to"..Shes in a daze her Louboutin stilettos click on the beautiful old wood floor....
    My view on men’s roles. Men are fun. I love spending time with them. What’s even better is that the worse I treat them, the more they love me. It’s like the ultimate hack. To me, men fall into two different utilitarian categories: Almost Equals:  like I said almost!!!!!men whom I fuck, often those in the top 10% of the universal cock size range. I do not date these men and simply meet them to have a good time. It is important to note that I do not submit to these men.  Inferiors: men whom I cuck, use as subs/slaves those in the bottom 90% of that same range. You are in my life for the purposes of being my cum rag,  card, and emotional tampon. I stir something inside you and make you feel more alive, even in slavery. Note how there is no superiors category. I do not believe that there is a man alive or dead who is superior to me. Women create life, men are that life, therefore man is product of woman. You cannot be superior to me because women make life. You know I speak the truth.
    Well I did that test thing.  The rope bunny bit surprised me to be honest == Results from bdsmtest.org == 94% Rope bunny 87% Submissive 85% Degradee 78% Slave 74% Pet 71% Voyeur 66% Boy/Girl 64% Vanilla 61% Experimentalist 60% Switch 54% Exhibitionist 45% Masochist 45% Primal (Prey) 40% Ageplayer 37% Brat 34% Non-monogamist 26% Dominant 21% Daddy/Mommy 16% Master/Mistress 14% Rigger 14% Owner 11% Primal (Hunter) 10% Sadist 9% Brat tamer 5% Degrader
    A few kind members have sent notes of encouragement and support for the moments, disappointment take their toll and have me so close to giving up. Thank you all.Indeed. it is true, once seeded in the mind and soul, or naturally set in the genes,  submission and all its elements pull harder than any efforts to dismiss them. Considering the dynamics of this site do not have automatic member  updates, at the risk of rendering this page unreachable, as commented upon, thought fit to add current age, weight and location as: 73, 140, Hawaii.
    A list of some my gear, in no particular order...   Police issue handcuffs Steel collar and matching wrist & ankle cuff set with linking chains Leather collars, wrist & ankle cuffs Leather straight jacket Various assortment of locking leather straps, different lengths Various gags, ring, ball, penis, etc Lots of clingfilm and duct tape! Paddles, horse whips Enema gear, butt plugs, dildos Various chastity cages and one adjustable chastity belt  
    I wanted to be a sissy princeee, I was locked and thought of my cock as a clit, I was of no use for women, or I should of been, my master was controlling me from a far, with hyno videos and I could not get hard without my sissy hole being filled, but one day I met a woman who made get hard without effort in my cage, I told my master and he wanted to meet her and tell her what a sissy I am, master did speak to her and she was disgusted with me, and no longer see me  my master said he was done and left me useless and no food for anyone
    Presently screening and vetting 43 prospective owners from US, UK, Australia.Two are former military.They are the first two it has gone to voice communication. Most presently.Building up trust is a very important before even a physical meeting to see if they truly know how to have a real slave.Its cautious after being in this Lifestyle for 37 years.And being a former Collarspace mentor and Collarspace admin.Dealt with far too many craziness and right nutters.
    Many submissives say that they are, "Willing to relocate." I am an experienced, dominant man who is, "willing to relocate." When you truly think about this,  shouldn't a submissive, one who is serious about wanting a dominant to commit to enhancing their life's journey, be thrilled and excited that a dominant would be available to come to them and see their life, examine their world, so they can better understand them from the subtle things that the submissive's surroundings tell him? To keep them in their comfort zone, maintaining the familiar while imparting the philosophy he has? 
    The Rules of the House of DL. * Family comes first. * I am here to satisfy my Master's needs and in return he will fulfill my needs. * I will be respectfulto my Master at all times. * My Master is always there for me, no matter what my need may be. * I will not put myself down. * I have to get enough sleep, rest and maintain my health. * Any big decisions, I ask Master. He listens to me and if I have a problem we discuss it. * No pets on the furniture! * 10. Be in compliance with the 4 agreements:   * 10A. Be impeccable with your word. Speak with integrity. Say only what you mean. Avoid using the word to speak against yourself or to gossip about others.   * 10B. Don't take anything personally. Nothing others do is because of you. What others say and do is a projection of their own reality, their own dream.   * 10C. Don't make assumptions. Find the courage to ask questions and to express what you really want. Communicate with others as clearly as you can to avoid misunderstandings, saddness and drama.   * 10D. Always do you best. Simply do your best and you will avoid self-judgement, self-abuse and regret. [(www.miguelruiz.com )]
    When Peter came to visit us. Peter loooked older in real life than he did in his profile picture. He was extremely well dressed and well spoken. He seemed mild mannered and not the typical Dom my wife normally goes for. After what seemed like hours of chit chat and a few glasses of red wine he finally got on to why he was actually here. That was to inspect Katie my wife and to find out how obiediant we were. The conversation eventually got around to Katies underclothes. He started asking her questions about her bra and knickers. What colour they were, what material they were, where she bought them, how much she pays for them, how often she wears them. The questions were relentless. Then he asks if he could see her in just her bra and panties. He looked at me "You don't mind that do you Ted"? "er No" I replied. "Ok Kate I want you to stand up and strip down to your bra and panties for me" "Good girl" he said as she stood up and started undressing. She looked lovely standing there in just her undies. "Mmm" he muttered "A matching set, just what I like to see" He looks again at me. "Your wife looks very sexy Ted, does it bother you" he asks. "Does what bother me? that she looks sexy" I ask. "No Ted, does it bother you to see your wife take her clothes off so easily for another man"? "haha Oh no" I nervously laugh trying to make light of it, "I'm used to it now" I replied. "Does she make habit of it then Ted" he asks. "Well she is an exhibitionist" I reply. "Ok Ted for this next part I'm going to require you to leave the room " "Oh no, Im comfortable now, I wont be a problem" I assure him. "No Ted as part of your obiediance test I must insist that you leave the room, go and sit in the kitchen and have a beer" he tells me. I want to interview your lovely wife in private, be a good boy and wait in the kitchen until I call you back in and don't worry I am not going to have sex with her, I will instruct her to get fully dressed shortly, I simply want to test her obiediance and limits, yours too Ted so be a good boy and wait in the kitchen until I call you back" "Well if you insist" I mumble as I get up to leave.   Of course I don't go to the kitchen as told. I stand outside the front room door listening to what is being said. I hear him telling her to remove her bra. the silence tell me she is complying. "Thats it my dear, just drop it there" I hear him say. "You have beautiful breasts Katie. stand closer so I can feel them, thats it" I hear him say. He asks her if her nipples are sensitive and by the sound of her shreek I'm guessing he is squeezing her nipples while fondelling her breasts.I can just about hear a few Mmm's and Arrr's and It sounds like he is playing with her tits for some while. "There lovely" I hear him say. "Ok Katie, now the panties, Just lower them down a little. Mmm I love a fully shaved pussy, Wow that is very smooth Kate, Did Ted shave that for you"? I hear him ask.   "Yes he did" I hear her say in a soft shy voice. Did he do that for ny benefit Kate" he knew I was coming to inspect you today.  "Lower your panties a little more for me. Thats hit down to your knees. Part your legs a little more, Mmm thats it. That's lovely. Mmm your so wet Kate. Do you like this"? I hear him ask her.  She replies faintly "Yes Sir I do" He tells her to let her panties drop to her ankles. "Mmm just stand there like that for me" I hear him tell her. "You are so horny" he says. "I must get a couple of pictures" it goes quite and I'm guessing he is getting his phone out and photographing her. I have been standing outside listening and wanking myself. I didn't want to cum as I wanted to fuck her after he had gone but I couldn't help cumming at the thought of what was happening.  I heard him telling her to kneel down and unzip him. She was obviously complying. "Thats it put it in your mouth, Ohhh thats lovely" I can hear him moaning as she sucks him off. After a while I hear him telling her not to swallow. "Hold it in your mouth" he tells her. from his groans it is obvious that he has cum in her mouth."Open your mouth let me see" he tells her. "Good girl" He tells her to gargle before allowing her to swallow. He again tells her shes a good girl and she knows how to suck a cock.  "I bet you've had a lot of practice" he jokes. Just clean me up a little" Mmm thats very good" he tells her. I hear him say "Ok my dear you can get fully dressed now and go tell Ted I said he can come back in" "Thank you Sir" I hear her say in that soft voice of hers.
    I always find female dominatrix BDSM boring.... Well, to be honest, I find female dominatrix BDSM boring. I mean, don't get me wrong, I can see why some people might enjoy it(not me), but it's just not my thing even to talk or suggest. For one, for what I can see and feel very repetitive against males and paranoid .we males especially straight heterosexual are target by other genders as maniacs, perverts and worse not trustable which i always find very offensive even if there are many idiots doesn't mean we all the same but further more is the attitude of others gender want hunting down straight heterosexual males;in my life i never done anything not consensual . It's like everyone is following a predetermined set of rules towards males just to get credentials and reputations , which doesn't leave a lot of room for creativity or spontaneity. Another thing that turns me off is the extreme nature of want to show their supremacy (when, how and with who) . Overall, I think it's important for everyone to figure out what they like and what they don't like in their BDSM experiences. Furthermore, I think that the stigma around male sexuality and the perception of men as potential perpetrators of sexual violence is untrue as not everybody are! As a straight heterosexual male, I feel that I am often unfairly targeted as a potential maniac or pervert, which I find offensive. The idea that there is a generation of women who want to hunt down straight heterosexual males is deeply offended me, especially as I have never engaged in any non-consensual behaviour in my life.
    TO MY LOYAL SUPPORTERS, As the year draws to a close, I find MYSELF reflecting on the incredible journey 2024 has been. This year was nothing short of extraordinary, filled with milestones, unforgettable experiences, and growth that surpassed even MY own expectations. From traveling to new places that expanded MY vision to building deeper connections with those who’ve been here since day one, I owe it all to YOU. To MY loyal subscribers: YOU made this possible. Every moment of luxury, every goal crushed, every step forward, it’s a testament to your unwavering support and belief in ME. Together, we’ve created something unstoppable, and for that, I AM endlessly grateful. For those who’ve been watching from the sidelines, wishing they were part of this, know this: you’ve missed out on a year of exclusivity, transformation, and power. MY circle is reserved for those who understand what it means to invest in greatness. 2024 was just the beginning. The next chapter will be bigger, bolder, and untouchable. To MY loyal supporters: thank you for being part of this legacy. To the rest, the door is open, but not for long. Merry Christmas and here’s to an even more powerful 2025! With gratitude and fire,  AFRICAN GODDESS
    Oh my sadism !!    Today im creating another thinking. Why ? Because im litterally and profundly agitated,  someone activated my mind, giving me a pleasure more than an orgasm, creativity ! And into this universe, its delightfull. Im a psychological person you know. Mind transcend all pleasure. Its addictive and soo rare to find people like me, maybe theyre just hidden, or ephemeral. Thats why i taste every part of my discussion.   Ironically, i have all my tasty favorite toys for suffering but i dont have anybody to play...   Sadly i will sleep today with a little frustration into my little warm heart.   Sincerely   Madness 
    Just bought some new sexy underwear. a willing mouth and ass that should do the trick lol xx suzy xx  
    If I don't respond to your multiple messages, there's probably a reason and continuing to blow up my inbox isn't going to get me to change my mind.  Also, just because I am submissive does NOT mean I am YOUR submissive. Don't come at me acting like I'm your property, or trying to demand anything of me. Until the day I decide to commit to being with someone, please speak to me as an equal, or don't bother trying to speak to me at all. 
    It never ceases to amaze me the number of times one person viewing me multiple times. Especially when I've blocked them for being rude and disrespectful towards my dynamic. Oh well, cry about it I guess. It's a bit creepy, though. Stalker vibes, really.  Well, I'm still owned, taken, and happy. If you want to speak with me, refer yourselves to Master (BakaKetsu) and gain his approval. Then and only then can you message with me. We talk. If you've already messed up by sending me a message first, he knows because he's the first person I show the messages to. Then I block and have a laugh.
    I decided to write this for myself and share it with any other wannabe cucks out there that wanted home training. Phase 1: Obtain/purchase a used pair of women's shoes. There are plenty of websites that sell them. You can get them on Ebay. You can even be bold and try looking in a thrift store or garage sale. Once you get the shoes you will stick your nose inside them and smell them while you jerk off. Think of the shoe like a gas mask for jerking off. You can only jerk off while wearing your gas mask. Do this for two weeks, it will condition your brain to associate feet as a sexual organ. The smell of feet will become a turn on for you. Once you become a true cuck, foot worship will be a regular part of your duties. Phase 2: Purchase a small butt plug. From now on if you jerk off you can only have an orgasm with something in your ass. If you orgasm without a plug or toy in your ass you will have to start the whole process over from day 1. This process will condition your brain to associate orgasms with anal stimulation. Watch cuckold or interracial porn every night for at least thirty minutes. If you feel the need to jerk off make sure you insert a plug or toy. Don't forget to wear your shoe mask. Do this for two weeks and then move on to phase 3. Phase 3: Purchase a larger toy for your ass. I would recommend longer as opposed to wider. So you can hit your P spot. Also purchase a chastity device. Put on the chastity device, then fuck your own ass with the toy until you orgasm without touching your cock. This may be difficult at first. I recommend putting the toy on an office chair and riding it like that. From now on the only orgasms you are allowed to have are through your asshole. You are not allowed to jerk off anymore. Fuck your ass to orgasm every night while wearing your chastity device and shoe mask. Do this for three weeks. Phase 4: Purchase a sissy outfit, a wig and a pair of sexy women's shoes in your size. Purchase a bigger dildo or anal plug. Purchase an additional lifelike realistic black dildo. Dress in your sissy outfit. Give yourself a photoshoot in your sexy new outfit. Fuck yourself in the outfit with your new larger toy. While doing so practice giving head to the black dildo. Make sure to take the following pictures of yourself. One with the dildo in your ass. One with the dildo in your mouth.
    Ich + Ich - So soll es bleiben   Ich warte schon so langeAuf den einen MomentIch bin auf der SucheNach hundert ProzentWann ist es endlich richtigWann macht es einen SinnIch werde es erst wissenWenn ich angekommen bin Ich will sagenSo soll es seinSo kann es bleibenSo hab ich es mir gewünschtAlles passt perfekt zusammenWeil endlich alles stimmtUnd mein Herz gefangen nimmt Wenn es da ist, werd ich feiernIch weiß, da ist noch mehrEs liegt noch so viel vor mirIch lauf noch hinterherBis jetzt fühl ich nur die HälfteVon allem, was gehtIch muss noch weitersuchenWeil immer noch was fehlt Ich will sagen:So soll es seinSo kann es bleibenSo hab ich es mir gewünschtAlles passt perfekt zusammenWeil endlich alles stimmtUnd mein Herz gefangen nimmt Ich weiß nicht, wo du bistOder wo du wohnstAber eins ist sicherDass es sich lohntIch bete jede NachtDass ich dich finde Und du sagstSo soll es seinSo kann es bleibenSo hab ich es mir gewünschtAlles passt perfekt zusammenWeil endlich alles stimmt So soll es seinSo kann es bleibenGenau so ist es gutAlles passt perfekt zusammenWeil endlich alles in mir ruht Yeah...Oh...Yeah...Oh...Yeah... So soll es seinSo kann es bleibenSo hab ich es mir gewünschtAlles passt perfekt zusammenWeil endlich alles stimmtUnd mein Herz gefangen nimmt    
    Yesterday, Thursday: 15/08/2024 Dear Diary,  MY day begins at 10 AM, just as I like it—on MY own terms. I wake up knowing that the world is MINE to shape, and I take MY time easing into the morning. MY routine is deliberate: a workout that awakens MY body, followed by a long, hot shower where I let the steam clear MY mind. As I prepare for the day, I’m already planning MY moves, each one purposeful. Dressing for the day is a ritual, even when I’M working from home. Today, I chose something comfortable yet powerful—an outfit that reminds ME of the strength I carry. Before I head to MY home office, I check MY phone, smiling as I see the messages from MY submissives. They know what pleases ME, and today, I’VE received a few thoughtful gifts—tokens of their appreciation and respect. It’s a satisfying reminder of the influence I hold, and I allow MYSELF a moment to savour it. MY home office is where the magic happens. As a web designer, I create, innovate, and build. The morning is spent in focused work—crafting designs, and connecting with clients. Even though I’M not in a traditional office, MY presence is undeniable. Every email, every project, every call reflaspects MY vision and MY control. I love knowing that MY work drives success and shapes the online world. I’M in charge, and it feels exhilarating. In the afternoon, I switch gears to focus on growth and giving back. I mentor young black female entrepreneurs, helping them navigate challenges and harness their strengths. Empowering others is part of MY power, and I take pride in guiding them. Their progress fuels ME, just as much as MY own success. As evening falls, I pour MYSELF a glass of Hennessy and dive into the course I’M developing. This project has been months in the making, and tonight, the ideas are flowing effortlessly. The warmth of the drink, the satisfaction of creating something meaningful—it’s a perfect combination. This course will be a game-changer, and I’M excited to see it come to life. The night deepens, but I’M energised. I’M building something incredible, and I know it. When I finally wrap up, I feel a deep sense of accomplishment. I’M not just a woman with a career—I’M a force, shaping MY world with precision and pride. As I lay in bed, I reflect on the day. I’M proud of who I AM—strong, confident, and in control. The gifts from MY submissives, the success of MY work, the course I’M creating—it all reminds ME that I navigate this world with grace, power, and a touch of indulgence. Tomorrow is another day to conquer, and I’M ready. This is MY world, and I own it.   BLACK GODDESS xx
    Okay, what is with mens profiles on here?  Is this a matter of the Collar Gods not updating mens profiles or journals?  Is it a matter of too many of them to approve? I dont recall engaging with one man here whose age is accurate lol  And we are not talking a year or two off, but typically a DECADE or more some times!  lol At least if your profile is not accurate, the least one can do is update in the first contact email.  I should think this provides the appropriate degree of honesty upfront, while also reducing time wasted for you if the person does not like your stats. As for Me, I could care less how old or young you are, with the exception of 20 year differences.  Those kind of differences need a wee bit more considering to the extreme differences/challenges these may pose). Also, what is with dominant men contacting Me and telling Me they are submissive/slave types, but they have no such information in their profile?  Make another profile or have something prepared to share in your first email.  DEMONSTRATE SOME BLOODY EFFORT, YA LOUSE! Facts are, I have gone to considerable lengths to share quite a bit about My motivation and vision.  Still that is not enough for the energy hoards.  Send pics they say.  lol  How about you tell Me what it is that I have written which speaks to YOU about Me and how you see YOURSELF SERVING ME.  How about you lay out all the mundane shit you are just dying to do in order to get a wiff.  Instead many begin with pics!  I get it.  Yet if we don't even have the makings of something which will work in the REAL WORLD, how come we need to see one another?  I'm54, Rubenesque, full figured, strong like bull.  What else?  Height?  Weight?  I'm a little above the average on both and stronger than any women I've known.  I have good teeth, wear glasses, have allergies, am quite fair, and am letting My long strawberry dirty blondish grey grow out.  I've hazel eyes and freckles, size 9.5 shoe, D cup and a large ass.  I've never had a surgery or broken bone. Type O positive lol  I'm shaved or hairy all depending on mood and My shit stinks lol The list of things could go on and on and it doesn't matter one fig in the long run.  What matters is that I get you and you get Me and we want to get IT together.  This is discovered by YOU DOING WHAT I REQUEST and Me honoring what you have to share with Me.  From there we both get to determine our suitability. Oh yes, and what is with the supposed slaves offering theirself for ALL?  I really don't get it.  If you offer all, you should be here already not phone-finger fucking Me. I'll tell you how My first introduced himself, got a picture, every alais I've got and is on speed dial on My phone.... wait for it.... in his FIRST email, he quoted My profile, commented on it and said why HE LIKED ME.  Wow!  There it is folks, the slave told Me what he liked from My profile! LOL When he asked how to proceed, I told him we move to another chat venue (NOT PERSONAL PHONE LINES).  He moved so fast I got whiplash! We typed some words and after a few minutes things started getting convoluted -as TYPING THOUGHTS OFTEN DOES. I told him it wasn't working for Me and it wasn't going to work for Me if we didn't speak by telephone.  BAM! - he said I could call him ASAP.  I called him and the rest is, literally, history. IF YOU CANNOT SPEAK BY PHONE I AM NOT INTERESTED. No where to go and time is a ticking! Newsflash, I am not going to work overmuch to get you to submit yourself to Me.  I am not a salmon or a trout.  If you can't take the heat, get out of the kitchen and if you cant come off the porch, you can't play with the big dogs. And don't get your hopes up, My tongue is worse than My lash...unless you are beloved and then you will get your just desserts!  lol
    Alright, feral creatures. Drag your claws in a circle and listen.   If your master plan is to speed run your BDSM bucket list with strangers like you’re farming achievements, you are not practicing power exchange. You are running a fantasy drive thru.   Hi yes, I’ll take one degradation scene, extra intensity, no emotional labor.   That’s not dominance.   That’s not submission.   That’s transactional self gratification wearing a harness.   Power exchange is not a vending machine. It is not a same night shipping option for your curiosity. It is a relational structure built on trust, communication, and actual human care.   You cannot ethically hold power over someone you do not care about. Period.   Now let’s talk about pick up play before someone starts twitching.   Picking up someone you’ve seen in the community? Someone you’ve observed at events? You’ve watched how they negotiate. How they respond to a safeword. How they treat people after scenes. How they handle NO. You’ve seen them interact when they’re not performing.   That’s informed risk.   Scooping up a total stranger with zero shared community, zero references, zero behavioral observation, and hoping adrenaline carries you through?   That’s rolling dice with someone’s nervous system.   Vibes are not vetting.   And while we’re here get involved in the community.   Go to munches.   Go to vettings.   Go to classes/workshops.   Go sit at a table and actually talk to people without trying to collect them.   Observe.   Watch how people interact. Notice who listens. Notice who interrupts. Notice who respaspects space. Notice who name drops. Notice who checks in after someone looks overwhelmed. Notice who vanishes when cleanup starts.   Munches are not play parties. Vettings are not auditions for your bucket list.   They are spaces to build familiarity. To understand hosts and their rules. To learn the culture of a specific dungeon or group. These events take time, money, and energy to plan. Hosts coordinate venues. They set safety protocols. They build community frameworks.   Treat that with respect.   Don’t roll in like it’s a pregame for your fantasy scavenger hunt.   Power exchange requires infrastructure:   Clear negotiation   Explicit limits   Aftercare planning   Emotional accountability   Community awareness   If you don’t have the patience to build that foundation, you don’t want BDSM. You want intensity without responsibility.   And here’s the gremlin truth: when you treat people like checklist items, you erode the very ecosystem that keeps kink safer.   Community exists so we can:   Share information   Protect each other   Vet behavior   Build trust over time   You want to dominate? Learn how to communicate without posturing.   You want to submit? Learn how to advocate for yourself without shrinking.   You want to explore? Learn how to build relationships that can hold intensity safely.   Slow down.   Show up consistently.   Respect the hosts.   Respect the spaces.   Respect the humans.   Otherwise you’re not practicing power exchange.   You’re just chasing adrenaline for an orgasm and hoping nobody gets hurt when the crash hits.   And that’s not edgy.   That’s just reckless with better lighting.
    Some of you may know. How the governor of Florida passed a law barring health officals from prescribing hormone thereapy And threstened lic revoke and up to 1yr in jail.   VOTE NO ON D'SANTEZ LOL   i Got to get outta here. I wanna fully and comletely mind heart and soul focus on my transition and make and break certin habits so I could be as passable as I can be.  Anyone willing to aid me in my journy?    take. Care everyone.   no on D'santez.  🤭😑 forreal
    Different strokes for different folks, right?  i support that. i'm not one of those types who wants to be beaten and bruised and bled and strung up... Even spanking is a hard no for me due to past issues. However, i'd like to think, in this vast, beautiful Lifestyle we are all in, there is an Owner out there who has no interest in doing those things to his property. i've been here awhile... and that's ok.  Maybe i won't find an Owner in this lifetime... What's meant to be will be, right? As far as pets go, i'm like one of those rescues... not a young kitten anymore, has a history, lotta scars, but love, dedication and loyalty to more than make up for all those things. Oh- and my lack of pictures is not my choice.  The site is buggered up  making it pretty near impossible to upload any.  
    I  messed up badly extremely badly on my first night at Masters home  I. Have thought n thought about it and I know i have to show Master that I know i made a  Big mistake and no matter what,I'm going to do my best to never ever do that again  We did discuss what happened and it did have the potential to kill what we both wanted. I will strive to be better,do better and be what you want,need and desire  I just read a post about shitty subs,yes I said it and it did strike a nerve. We did discuss my behaviour and over the next 2 days,I did demonstrate to Master that  I was ashamed of myself and stepped up in everyway possible  I could've ruined the best opportunity to be owned by a Master who is so special and so different . Your a kind,caring and strict Master and even tho we agreed to never bring it up again,I want to say sorry .. That was not acceptable in any way shape or form and beat myself up daily.. I know I have a way to go and I will Master. I want you to be proud to own me,. .were still kinda new to each other,but ii want this to work with all my heart Master 
    This site can get to you, you think you've made a connection then just like that you haven't as the person no longer answers you or you rudely get blocked. But every now and again a bright diamond appears and suddenly I've made the best friend ever. She and I are spookily on the same wavelength and its so great to be able to talk to someone who understands lifes complexities and the struggle that women have trying to find a decent guy. She's been through a lot in her life but she's a total catch and if you've ignored or turned her away her, wow did you miss out.
    The Power of Tarot I always consult the Tarot before getting serious. TWO of my decks refused to read  a sub.  Read two other subs and the   Hang  Man reversed showed up.  Waste of time.  So yeah . 
    Your possible future... You feel so irremissibly subjugated awaiting further use. You succumb to be possessed, my sweet slut, my owned and private slut, you are my pleasing toy. You are just lying there quietly on all fours as ordered; bare and shameful exposed under the excruciating tease of my eyes behind you. Your whole being at my disposal. I will play with you, you know I will, but you don’t know what my play will be, you can only fear and excite on anticipation. I just slide my hand over your ass, and you immediately shiver slightly. Oh, you are behaving so well, no spank yet. I rub a couple of fingers deep between your labia and I enjoy feeling you quiver. Then I force your head back, pulling your hair with my other hand as I put those fingers in front of your mouth. You know what to do, that is it, stick your tongue, lick and clean solicitous your own juices; well done. Meanwhile my cock is already inside your enraptured ass. It is stiff and motionless for the moment, just pulsating in there, but you anticipate that it will start moving, thrusting your senses out without compassion until your outer-self dissolves, your consciousness became nothing, and eventually you turn into a sweaty distressed body utterly possessed between my hands; oh my devoted slut how do you dread and intensely desire that. But getting there is a long process, although delightful too. You trust me your being, you give up your everyday facade upon me, and that is not easy. We talked a lot. I wanted to know about your ideas, your beliefs, your fears. About how you masturbate, about what the fuck makes you wake up from social somnolence.  Talking with more than words. Don’t you understand? I don’t just fuck your body; I fuck your mind into the deepest waters. There is nothing I can do if you are not released to sweetly cry embracing in my lap. Then I may allow you to give me pleasure. Then I may control everything you can do, or wear, or experience. Play gradually with your skin and give full purpose to your orifices. Then I can degrade you in a way only we understand, my lovely slut. But that is not yet, we are not even in the beginning; you have to write to me first. I started this describing the end, but now I am going to end talking and you have to start writing me.
      Hooded, cuffed, naked to the waist,  he smelled the car, heard the sounds of the engine cooling. Her smell, that too mingled with the smell of fear in his leather clad nostrils.     The door to the entrance of the townhouse was one step up and forward. By grabbing his belt and firmly tugging, she lead him up the step. His shoes stumbled, explored and found their footing.  Softly, with a definite and solid thud, the door closed behind him. The metallic click of the door lock was unmistakable.   An anti room perhaps. Mud room? Laundry room? Utility room?   The floor was ceramic tile. He realized it when she unbuckled his belt and unfastened his pants. Without any word of command or explanation, he felt his trousers and shorts pushed to his ankles. He imagined her face near his naked crotch as he felt her gripping his leg and intuitively understood she wanted his shoes off and one leg at a time his trousers were gone. Through his socks, he felt the cold hard tile.   He almost lost his balance and fell when he felt her hair brush his inner thigh as she stood up.   He felt himself shiver in the coolness of the room but trickles of sweat ran down each side of his torso from under his armpits.   Suddenly he had the urge to pee. How would he make her understand? Unconsciously he began to dance that childish dance of holding back the yellow stream.
    Ahh, my favorite season is here... Anything-But-Summer! I love the cooler weather in general, plus it gives me an opportunity to spend more time working in my yard. Now is the perfect time to look over my plants to see what was successful, and what may need relocated or even replaced. Once again, I'm enjoying the small surprises, such as the blueberries that have survived and even appear to be thriving in the bags in which I purchased them this spring. I'm saddened by the plants that looked promising in the spring, yet didn't survive the summer.  Much like those plants, although pleasant for a while, apparently I need to reassess some of the relationships in my life and consider finding others that have the potential to last longer and grow even more beautiful. Who wants to frolic and grow in my garden? *ominous grin*
    Had a dream last night.  I finally was able to control the fire that comes out from my being. I harnessed it so that it didn't hurt others. They've been needing me to accomplish this feat for a while now. I even heard them say "she's doing it." They were pleased.  Not sure if this were demons with me in my dream or angels. Probably demons cause that's when I can't control the fire and it just tries to burn them. I block it and pull it away each time but I'm sure they've felt the heat. But this time was different. This time I controlled it and it didn't control me. 
    Goddess Tabitha has been in New York all week and will be returning home on Monday afternoon. We facetime nightly for progress reports on my task list, updates on my daily chores and some cyberplay. She bought a new toy. It is an eight pad tens unit to start electric play with me when she gets home. We had a standard battery operated four channel but it finally gave out after a decade of use. The onlytime in thirteen years I have literally screamed and begged for mercy is when she put a electrode pad on the ball of each foot and the other one on each ankle. She set it to starburst and turned it to maximum strength. The cramping in my feet was beyond description and she left me that way for over 30 minutes. All because I had mentioned after being in heels all day that my feet hurt. I am NEVER allowed to complain about pain when my pain, or in this case, the shoes I was wearing were at her direction. Don't get me wrong, a tens untit can be very comfortable and soothing if used at milder settings, but if it is used for punishment it can be absolute hell. We will see how loving or not Goddess Tabitha is on Monday night.
    Let Me see...no further release of the Epstein files?  This must BENEFIT someone in the administration, be they an affiliate donor or a world leader, or hark, the President of The United States of America.  Who knows?  Your guess is as good as mine since it is such sensitive information and at what cost?  Mostly at a cost to women. Games, games and more games, with peoples lives and their INTEGRITY.  All in the name of Power.  On the mum front, things are kind of looking up?  At dinner the other night, she remembered what she had for breakfast.  Still doesn't know My name or affiliation, yet I continue to expect miracles.  At the very least, mums behavior is better and we have less stress in our days as a result.
    One minor issue I have with this site is ages on profiles... they can't be trusted. I feel no reason to hide my age, so I keep it accurate (as a matter of fact, I just raised it because I had a birthday). But so many people who message me tell me they're a different age than what's noted, sometimes by many years. So the real question is whether it's deception or laziness. Because changing your age doesn't put your profile back in a long queue for approval... it's instant.
    Not Looking At All!                                                                                                                                                Just Friends                                                                                                                                                      Please Respect
    Wow, they have journals back. What a trip.  Since this is easier than updating My profile, I'll just use this space to clarify that 'm no longer interested in online dynamics. It no longer fulfills Me. So if you aren't local or able to travel to meet Me in a reasonable amount of time, you're not what I'm looking for, and I wish you happy searching.
    I'm talking 'bout my generation Talking 'bout that newer nation And if you don't like it You can beat it Beat it, baby You never liked the way I said it If you don't get it, then forget it So I don't have to fucking explain it Cause I'm a Brooklyn baby I'm a Brooklyn baby   It's like those lyrics carry a sense of identity and weight, even when they seem light. The repetition, "I'm a Brooklyn baby," feels like a declaration of something deeper—a feeling of being rooted in something bigger, but also carrying that vulnerability and pain underneath. Almost like saying, "I'm here, but there's so much more behind the surface."   It’s not just about the words, but the weight of feeling like you’ve had to fight and scream to be heard, and still... nothing. It can feel exhausting when no one’s really listening, when the energy you put out feels like it just vanishes into a void. That emptiness that comes after all the effort, when you’ve given everything and are still left feeling alone—that’s heavy. It’s like a wall of silence that doesn’t break, no matter how loud you scream or how much you pour out.   They think I don't understand The freedom land of the seventies I think I'm too cool to know ya You say I'm like the ice I freeze That line hits hard—it’s like there’s this gap between what others think and what you really feel, and the way it creates this distance. It’s a powerful reflection of feeling misunderstood, and at the same time, being guarded, like ice. There’s so much in that feeling of being cool on the outside, but maybe there’s a lot more going on underneath.       Ultraviolence captures that raw, unrelenting pain—the kind that cuts deep and leaves scars you can’t always see. It’s not just about physical violence, but the emotional and mental toll of trying to survive in a world that feels indifferent or even hostile. It’s the weight of love, loss, rejection, and fighting for something real when everything feels brutal and unkind. The way Lana weaves those emotions into her music makes it all the more visceral. It’s like she’s singing about the violence of being misunderstood, of giving and not receiving, of being trapped in cycles of intensity that don’t let up.        the Pa-da-da-da-da-da part in Brooklyn Baby feels simple on the surface, just vocalizations, but it carries weight because of the emotion behind Lana’s voice and the layered harmonies. It’s like she's using the sounds to evoke a feeling beyond words—a mixture of nostalgia, detachment, and maybe even resignation. By that point in the song, she’s moved away from literal meaning and is communicating more through the feeling of the music itself. The backing vocals, especially with the men joining in, create a sense of collective disillusionment, like they're all echoing her sentiment, but with a touch of irony. The softness contrasts the rebellious attitude of the lyrics, making it feel like a bittersweet, almost resigned anthem. It’s like she’s saying, This is just how things are, but underneath it, there's a longing for something deeper, something more real. The repetition and the flow of the sounds express that emotional state in a way that words alone might not be able to. It adds to the song’s atmosphere, giving a voice to the unspoken frustrations and complexities of being misunderstood, trapped in surface-level expectations.     I get down to Beat poetry And my jazz collection's rare I can play most anything    this isn't a flex...it's saying how talented she is but no one notices or cares.....she's very skilled in things no one cares about and that doesn't change life's circumstances. that only a niche of a niche of a niche cares about..but she knows she's so talented that she rattles it because she knows people in the know recognize it. it's a acknowledgement of what she's worked hard to craft while also recognizing it's nothing  That line isn’t a flex at all, it’s more of a statement wrapped in irony. Lana is acknowledging her talents—her deep connection to niche things like beat poetry, jazz, and her rare collection. She’s spent time and effort honing these skills, cultivating a refined taste, and mastering things that matter deeply to her, but in the grander scheme, it’s like no one notices or cares. It’s a bittersweet realization of her own uniqueness and skill, but also the futility of it. She’s proud, but it’s not enough to change her circumstances or how the world perceives her. It’s like saying, Yeah, I can do all these things, but what does it matter? It’s a reflection of how being talented or special doesn’t necessarily lead to recognition or fulfillment. She knows only a tiny niche of people might care about these things, but for the rest of the world, it means nothing. It’s like the ultimate what’s the point? moment wrapped in a subtle acknowledgment of her own brilliance.       You say I'm too dumb to see They judge me like a picture book By the colors, like they forgot to read I think we're like fire and water I think we're like the wind and sea You're burning up, I'm cooling down You're up, I'm down You're blind, I see Those lyrics capture such a deep feeling of being misunderstood, like you’re moving in opposing rhythms, but still bound together in some way. It’s frustrating, isn’t it? People see what’s on the surface, but they miss the essence, the complexities inside. The contrast between fire and water, wind and sea—it’s such a vivid way to describe the intensity of that connection. One burns while the other cools down, like two forces pulling in different directions but still coexisting, still interacting. It feels like being in two worlds at once, and yet no one quite gets it.   The way she says "Brooklyn baby" at the end—definitively, yet almost resigned—carries so much weight. When the guys join in with the elongated bayyyyy beee, it shifts the whole tone. It’s no longer just her own voice; it’s echoed, but in a way that feels detached, like they’re chiming in on her identity without truly understanding it. It feels like a loss of personal ownership, like the identity she was so sure of—I’m a Brooklyn baby—is now something distant, fading, not fully hers anymore. And that pah da de da de dah dah that follows is like her way of giving up, like a lullaby of surrender, a little girl’s soft collapse. It’s not a defiant statement anymore; it’s more of a quiet, melancholic folding into herself. It’s like the final exhale after fighting, acknowledging that maybe she’s been fighting for something that no one truly sees or cares about. Little girl Lana down, as you said. That’s when the song truly hits its emotional depth—when she stops fighting, and the weight of everything she’s been carrying just sinks into the background.    
    The Blue you have reached has been disconnected or is no longer in service. Please check the number and try your call again. (**If the above message doesn't make sense to you, or ring a Ma Bell, then you're probably too young for me. LOL.) 3/14/22 I'm going to be catching up on life stuffs for a bit. This happens now and then when I'm overwhelmed with answering folx on here, and rather than feel like a jerkwaffle for logging in and not responding, I just don't log in at all. *sigh*  You're welcome to leave a message, and I will get back when I can muster the mental resources to do so. If you're local, say hi at Game Night or the Kinky Carnival.  Wanna really get my attention when I'm back on? Show me your best Semantle score. *cackle*
    In the world are many denominations all claiming to possess the accurate knowledge of the truth. However this is divisions. In 1 Corinthians, Paul appealed to us that we have no divisions amongst ourselves and instead that we all be perfectly united in mind and thought. One of you say, "I follow this" and another says "I follow that" and still another "I follow such and such". Is Christ divided? Yet I say to you, revelations has something against each church. I tell you when Christ unveils his church there will be many upheavals and sudden changes. The real church is nurturing, a good guardian like a parent teaching it's child right and wrong. Allowing for the true knowledge of what truly matters to God the Father and Jesus Christ. Allowing individuals to grow in grace and become one in Christ's image. Jesus said if you love him you would observe his commandments. Take hold of the eternal life to which you were called and pursue righteousness, godliness, faith, love, endurance, and gentleness. 
    My car died.  It died the same day I closed on my new house/dungeon pair.  The cobblestones of my new town ate the last reserves that the power steering pump had.  I got back to the rental, 50 miles East with a ride from a friend.  I sat there for 2 weeks, trying to put together enough crap to move in.  Borrowed a truck from a friend in the local-to-my-rental, got one load made with the washer/dryer stack, got them into the new place, not installed. got back, didn't get another load for another week, on borrowed trailer, called my soon-so-be-exlandlady, who pulled the trailer, got me over with half my stuff. two weeks later, we got a 3rd load, so I am mostly moved in.   I then started in on settling down, straightening up the debris.  The dungeon will need lots of work, plenty of cash, which I have none of.  Stay tuned!
    Mounting a STR8 male Pilars of society, husbands, fathers, movers and shakers. in all body types and backgrounds. You've got to love them all; at least I do. I'm partial to the bravado, the in your face attitude that screams "I'm terrified of venturing outside of my gender, but with the right MAN I'm game." The one thing to remember is to be subtle, these boys are a scary bunch and the slightest threat to their perceived orientation will make them clam up (pun intended) tight and you will loose your boy. However, once you're in their trust that is your chance to explore and they will provide the info you need. Family, marriage, parental relationships  and home issues. Overwhelmed, over worked, and under sexed; perfect combination and there is you, a strong paternal figure to hug them and tell them you understand  and suffer with his plight.  There is a moment of vulnerability in which you become his whole world as he contemplates all crumbling you are the sturdy support.  Sometimes it takes time to get there. Of course this does not apply to your male bride, the one you want for you only.  Check my journal on male brides.  Eventually it will graduate to touching, hugging, kissing and then cock play.  Once you become the adult in his eyes he will nurse from your rod and do it often because is “us boys.” But once he kneels to suck you his body is yours to explore and his butt is there as he is busy following your instructions on how to please you. Easy does it, touch, probe by do not put you finger in yet. Let him get use to your touch and caress.  Eventually his ass will arch up and that is your cue  to begin your entry. Ever so slowly and tenderly. Let  his  body guide you and then move your body to a position of dominance, standing and him in all fours. Pick him up, embrace him and assure him your understanding and his need for release.  Play with his cock , remember he is str8 and feels entitled. Yet as you play in front prepare the rear by probing his prostate. He’ll go through the roof realizing he never felt this with his wife, there is pleasure in his ass and you, his pal, just opened a new window for him to look out of. He is now yours and he will come back, promise. 
    December 9,2023 - Coaches first visit       First visit with "The Coach" today. I'm not sure, but I think the Coach is the closest thing to a completely straight guy that I've had visit me in a quite a while.   I seem to attract the bisexual guys who are dominant in their work but desire to be submissive to another male. And I think that was the case today.   Coach and I messaged on FetLife for a while, determining what he wanted and what his limits were. Then we set up a time for his first visit. It was going to be just after he had coached a game, so I was sure he would have a good mix of testosterone and adrenaline for his first visit.   The time wasn't exact since he didn't know when the game would finish. Around the time expected, he messaged me to let me know he was going to be on his way soon. I kicked back and watched some porn until his arrival.   Being his first visit, I met him in the driveway so he knew he had the correct house. I was wearing my long brown hooded bathrobe. His mind was probably already racing wondering what, if anything, that I was wearing under the housecoat.   We came inside and took a seat and instructed him to strip. As we had previously discussed as he stripped each article of clothing off he folded them neatly by his shoes next to the door.   He had a nice physique and I knew we were going to be having some fun. He was wearing a small cock cage. It appeared he was already straining against it. I remembered that I had instructed him to wear the cock cage during the game. I didn't verify if he has followed directions, or had put it on after the game. I walked over to the couch and grabbed two velcro wrist restraints. I grabbed one of his wrists and extended his arm and attached the velcros cuff. Then the other wrist, as I wrapped the velcro restraint making sure both cuffs were secured around his wrists. Then I retrieved a dog collar from the couch and put it around his neck. This at first, but then I loosened it a notch or two so it was fairly loose. I had plans, and wanted it a bit loose, almost comfortable. But I wanted him to remember, while he was here, he was property. A sub for my use.   Although I had warmed the house a bit, as I wrapped my arms around him from behind him and played with his nipples, I felt him quiver. I'm sure it was a combination of fear and anticipation causing him to quiver, not the temperature of the room.   Normally and make notes when someone leaves, but during today's visit I forgot. So my memory might not be 100% accurate on our activities since I'm writing this story over a week later.   Normally at this point, I sit back in my rocking chair and have they guy suck my cock for a while, but I remember that didn't happen today. And honestly, I don't remember why. Either something we had talked about, or something in my mind cause me to change things and we headed straight upstairs.   When we got up to the bedroom stripped the bathroom off. I was completely naked. I laid back on the bed and told him to come over between my legs and suck my cock. Without hesitation he climbed on the bed and latched on to my cock.   Although one part of me thinks that he is 99% straight, good Lord was he a great cocksucker. It makes me wonder if I'm correct or not. But during the conversations on Fetlife, that was the impression I had. But now that his mouth was on my cock, I was questioning my assumption.   I'm not sure what the hell he was doing with his tongue on my cock but it was incredible. Something about the combination of sucking and swirling and licking at the same time was great. In fact, it was too good. It had been a week or so since I had hooked up with someone and this felt so good, I felt that I could orgasm at any moment. So I told him to lick my balls.   Although I enjoy having a guy lick my balls, in this case the main reason I was having him lick my balls was to prevent me from having an orgasm. How sad would it be for him to arrive and not more than 5 or 10 minutes later have an orgasm and send him on his way.   So he licked at my balls for a while as I raised my right leg putting my knee in the air to give him greater access to my balls and taint. He was good at that also, but not as good as his cock sucking skills. Soon using both of my hands on the sides of his head, I lifted him off my balls and lowered him onto my cock again. The feeling was sensational. I just remembered that I kept murmuring, "oh fuck, oh fuck that feels great."   I grabbed his head and started pushing him deeper onto my cock. He gagged which made me chuckle. I think I growled something like, "oh yeah choke on Daddy's cock."   Part of the time I watched him bob up and down on my cock, part of the time I just threw my own head back enjoying the moment. I looked down and could see his cute bubble butt over his shoulders which only made my cock harder. I was planning to fuck that ass before he left tonight.   I wrapped my right leg over his shoulder onto his back. That just pulled him down onto my cock a bit more. With my hands on the back of his head and my right leg over his back I could force him onto my cock until his chin rubbed my balls. He was choking on my cock, completely under my control, completely submissive, doing exactly what I was telling him to do. I was giving him the fantasy that he was wanting.   I remember being quite verbal that day. Repeatedly calling him… daddy's little cocksucker, calling him… a good little fagot, but at the same time rewarding him by telling him what a good job he was doing sucking cock. Each time he choked I would give him a compliment like, "good Boyyyyyyyy" dragging the work out like I was rewarding a family dog. I watched as his head continued to bob up and down on my cock.   He would deep throat my cock until it was all the way in the back of his throat, then he would pull almost completely off and suck hard on just the head of my cock, swirling his tongue around, poking his tongue in my piss slit, then go back to deepthroating and choking again.   But now I had reached my threshold of my orgasm. If I can keep from orgasming past the first 5 or 10 minutes, I'm usually good for an hour. I'm not quite sure what that is, but once I passed that 10 minute mark I'm good for a while. And at this point, I was past my mark.   I started getting a little more rough with him. I reached down and grab the collar and gave it a bit of a twist, tightening it on his neck. Simultaneously I pulled the collar down, pulling him onto my cock. This did a bit of breath control, or breath restriction, while he continued to suck my cock.   I kept the color twisted until his body language was telling me he was at his limit on breath control. So I released the collar and I just laid back on the bed enjoying whatever in the fuck he was doing with his tongue. Oh my God, it was incredible.   I remember him repositioning himself, I think to get up on his elbows a bit. He slid his hands under my legs almost cupping my butt cheeks whereas before they had been on top of my legs, his forearms almost resting on my chest toward my nipples. Now that his upper arms were under my legs, I took the advantage and raised both of my legs onto his back. I crossed my legs locking them and behind his back squeezed his head between my legs.   With my hands, I forced him deep onto my cock. Then I tightened the squeeze of my legs holding him in place. No longer
    I'm so happy to be back on Collarspace. This is where it all started for me....about 10-ish years ago when I was just finding out about BDSM and really exploring my kinks (which is currently still evolving)...With that being said... being here is so nostalgic because I've met some amazing people here over the course of years. I'm especially excited to run into some old friends here. So a quick story time....years ago when I was here one of my friends from MIDDLE school found me on this site (not really sure HOW) but we had really good conversations and he talked about the way I use to treat him in middle school as far as being very bossy, dragging him around, TELLING him that he was my boyfriend made him KNOW that he was meant to be a sub/slave. It really put a lopt in perspective for me too because it showed me that this was in fact a n inherent part of my personality....to dominate...to take control...to be the boss...and it came to me so easily...so long short, I'm hoping that i run into this guy here again that would be amazingggg... either way I'm looking forward to the connections I foster this time around. 
    Ok either it's an AI scam profiles or some of you are really strange.  Have had strange contacts with bizarre requests of the bat lately.  Dont do that.  Have an actual conversation with me first.  We can talk about your freaky self later.  I love the taboo and I might reference to it but believe me in 2 seconds of conversation I'm not asking you to do anything.   And if you can't provide a pic in a reasonable amount of time with today's smart phones, you aren't real or serious.  This isn't my first rodeo and I can spot BS a mile away 
    Just for fun:  Question: You have one chance, for one honest answer.  You can ask me one question, Any question, about anything no matter how crazy, dirty or wrong it maybe…….. No catch.  But i dare you to post this on your status and see what people ask you!
    Before you write me: 1. I look ONLY for longterm (hopefully lifetime) ! 2. I look for cis/tpe relationship. If you don´t know what it is check it or ask me ! 3. I am only interested in somebody who is younger then me ! My main age range is from 20-45, but is not written in stone. 4. I will not answer anymore to people they have not a facepic in there profile or send with the first message.
    I am resently widowed to a partner and submissive woman.  I am looking for a companion for travel and adventure, short or long term.  Distance is not an issue. I prefer retired, finacial secure.   Details olf mutual fit to be arbitraged. Let join together. Jack  
    Lifestyle submissive man who is willing to accompany Me to munches and fetish clubs such as Pedestal.  Message me to get to know each other. First meet is at the Mawney Munch in Romford, Essex, England so live no more than an hour or so away. D/s FLR relationship sought with kink AFTER knowing each other at least SiX months. No instant gratification. I am on Fetlife so look at my profile. Also service sub sought for garden work. Mistress Whipplash Ma'am 
      Believe it or not, this is my first journal entry. all this time I had no gotdarn clue how to use it. Well here I go.. So...what do you wanna talk about?  (Hands the mic to you)     
    To paraphase an important message, turned on it's 'bottom' for us in the kinky world:    Ask not what your sub can do for you, but what can you do for your sub?  Most subs know what to give, how to give, how to submit, when to submit, and what's needed to give their submission to a worthy Dominant. But it's often the Dominant that doesn't realize it's a two-way street of giving, an exchange after all, and many Doms I have encountered here don't have much of an idea what they are offering to give to their subs, other than their time, their discipline, their specific knowledge. That's no small matter, but don't you give some parts of that to other important people in your life? Your charges at work? Your children? The question becomes, perhaps for BOTH of us, what unique values, attributes, feelings, expeiences, wisdom, are we exchanging, what are we giving to each other?  Let's talk about that. Let's see what we can offer and give to each other in order to grow and flourish, together.  That takes a deep conversation, a self and other knowledge. Let's go there! 
    November 15th, 2024 Back on collarspace!   November 4th, 2020 I had not been online for quite long. I just come to update my profile and to reply all those kind and gentle messages from my contacts. My life changed quite a lot and those days when all was fun and BDSM and long gone. I became a mother of two beautiful boys and with all the Covid19 situation, my life is reduced to motherhood. I love my family and do not regret it but I miss those days when I was never worried, I was always sitting pretty, dressing like the queen I am and being served by female and male subs. Perhaps some day that will happen again? )UPDATE  Yes, life evolves and keeps going!I moved to Belgium, I am in the process of divorcing but I am still in a poly relationship (that has not change). This is my second week in Belgium and I am hoping soon to be ready to get involve in the local BDSM scene.I would love to get to know people around here and know how things work around. It would be great to get a domestic slave and an assistant, a Lady is always in constant need of attention...............................................................................................................Relocating soon to Belgium...
    What being a sub means for me Being submissive to someone allows me to put my at ease knowing that no real pain will happen under My Dominate's protection. I know what is done is for my own benefit or theirs but not just theirs. It allows me to turn off the part if my brain always questioning or assuming something bad is about to happen. Being shown I belong to that person comforts me! I wish to find one who will help me be better! Not just for their pleasure but also in my life! Someone who will communicate their needs and consider all mine. Someone who is willing to balance not just take. Someone who has my best interest and my heart at the forefront of their mind. They guide, they support, they encourage me to be my best self! Although I struggle with it I am taking steps to better my life and work towards my goals both at work and home, I'm learning about how to be a better active listener currently and hoping to try to be more active and eat healthier.
    I am a Cultured creative Sapiosexual Goddess who thrives on stimulating conversation, traveling, hiking, swimming, trail running, working out, kayaking, boating, taking walks on the beach, viewing art, attending comedy events, and soaking up adventurous moments. I live a very active lifestyle without social media, news, alcohol, and mundane things that are designed to shift our focus. I'm the extraordinary experience that your body, mind, soul, and spirit crave! You've found what you've been missing! Are you ready for a different experience?!~~. Or will you cling to what you've been used to and wonder why you keep getting the same results? That's called Insanity! Don't be afraid to try something different. You Will Like It. ~~~Energy is Everything~~~_Be My SubLet's explore Boundaries Of Pleasure~Your credentials, accolades, and worldly materials mean absolutely nothing to me. What does your Energy say? If the vibe is right and you are open to sexually experiencing new things without hangups, we 'might' can embark upon some wonderful adventures together and create memories that last a lifetime. It's sure to be a pleasureful adventure for the both of us.
    A young woman asked me a question about posturing I will share my view on that subject as there is so much of it on lifestyle sites and I feel most of it is pure bull shit. There was a time, when, how lifestyle folks presented themselves in public and in private, told who they were. It was far more subtle. Subs and slaves did not announce who they were and dominants did not have to call themselves owners or dominants or masters because both sides looked for those tell tale signs and vice versa. You could walk into a room filled with vanilla folks and pick out who was in command and who was subservient and who the clueless were. A submissive would make less eye contact in public seem more shy, talk less or only when spoken to. More dominant types were bolder, asked the questions, initiated the conversations and so on. You knew by their "presence" who they were, not by their words or self given titles. Lifestyle folks looked for such things and recognized each other, were drawn to each other. The advent of the internet and sites like this and others, produced a bunch of wannabe owners and dominants who posture and preen and say "I am" when they are not. You will see a 20 something male, working at McDonald's and living in a walk up rental, calling himself Master and demanding that women bow to him. He has an old beater car, no savings, no future, he has not even began to master his own life. Now he claims he can be master of a sub or slave. These are the people who demand a sub "posture" for him and demand the sub call him sir or master. It's his ego speaking, not his dominance or mastery of anything. We married in the early 70's as a natural dominant and natural submissive but those words were never spoken for at least 20 years. Married in 71 but it took me until 86 to even begin to master my life. In 86 I walked away from a high paying factory job and created my first major business, an auction house. That began a lifetime of building businesses, getting them up to profitability and then selling them. Even then, I never once called myself a Master. We opened the marriage to others from time to time and it was always her seeking a dominant type and myself seeking a submissive type. We could do so because we were secure in who we were, who we each belonged to. I played with a submissive on and off for few years who called me "Mister B" but she always made it a joke, a way of poking fun at me. She would say it with emphasis on the Mister and then she would laugh at me. She was secure in who she was and knew that I was as well. Among the very best of submissives that I ever played with in those years, was a woman who was in upper management of a major corporation. At work they called her the dragon lady and people were actually afraid of her because she could make or break a career. She called me "Donkey" from the movie Shrek and she claimed she was my dragon. She served me with her entire being. It is not about posture or titles, it is about who we are and how we are, that makes us owners or dominants, subs or slaves. Don't buy into the hype, the hype is bull shit. Look at who they are, what they have accomplished. Look at how they help those around themselves. In the words of Mohamed Ali, an ultimate Master, "look at how they treat those who can not benefit them in any way". If they treat the waiter poorly, run. A true master protects, builds up those around themselves, looks to help the less fortunate, looks to promote others to be all they can be and does not say worship me. A master is. They are not someone who calls themselves as such. A sub or slave, looks for such people and wants to help them by combining their power with the power of the owner or dominant or master. I seek to serve nature as her sub/slave. She is far greater than myself, a worthy mistress with no ego. By doing so, I gain as well. I seek those who feel that is something worthy of doing and want to add their power to my own. I say openly that by myself, I am not enough, that I need your power added to my own. Even then, I fully understand that we will not be enough but we can make some small difference. If you feel a need to serve such a man, I would humbly welcome your support. Then, in the future and only if you feel that I have proven to you, that I am worthy to be called your owner or dominant or master, I will be thankful and we will continue the work together.  
    [Utoh! pullling out a soap box!]Why do people think that I believe they will read my mail when I know they haven't read my profile?  Why do people want me to spend time writing mail, when I have spent time writing the profile and they still haven't read it?  No, obviously I don't mean you... but yes,  I mean you, and you, and you, and yes, you over there, and you and yup, you too... Just saying... One wants to enter into a relationship that requires extreme amounts of trust,but they want to start with a lie about something as simple as having spent 2.5 minutes having actually read my profile?  Not sure if I should laugh or be angry... I will just pity them.  Yup, I just said I pity your dumb wana be dom ass.[Tucks away soap box and returns to regularly scheduled program of submission...]
    to those of you who think that a meeting should be hurried: this is something that you should know about me. I need to have a sense of who I am meeting and the only way I know to do that is to have a lot of conversation and correspondence beforehand. I will not engage in primarily sexual based conversations before establising compatibility and mutual interest. I am much more interested in what's between your ears than what's between your legs.  I have, on occasion, met people off the internet without spending much time chatting with them. Most times it has never led to anything beyond that initial meet. The majority of the people that I do correspond with on here does not lead to a face to face meeting. If it did, consider yourself lucky.  In particular, the need to know the other person is more important than if I was embarking on a vanilla relationship.I don't consider this process 'time-wasted because the search is usually interesting whether it results in a face to face or not. I refused to be hurried in the process. If you cannot articulate with me in an email then the chances are pretty damn high you will not when we are face to face. If any of the above statements seem too trying or unreasonable, I honestly don't care. Just don't contact me.
    Difficult, But, Entertaining. Every once in a while, I have a cunt slave spend the day with their nipples dragging on the floor with every thing they do. it, the slave, is punished if it is found violating the contact order. Yes, it is difficult and, toward the end of the day, painful for the slave. Nevertheless, I find it entertaining, consequently worthwhile.    
    Chastity - Week 95 Today is day 666 of my chastity journey, the 41st day of being locked constantly 24/7. The openness design of this cage allows me to be squeaky clean without removing it. i didn't think the 24/7 constant locking would be so humbling.   Chastity is not always a punishment                                                                Chastity can be a sign of adoration                                                                  Chastity is not always an acknowledgement of inferiority                                Chastity can be a sign of strength and dedication    As the waves of submissiveness wash over me                                          The longing to serve deepens to serve deepens      
    Christmas '23, and what is it like ? I've mostly healed up. Added 4 yards of topsoil in front of my recently aquired home in Lacey. Planted a lot of bulbs. Mix of native wildflowers. And blueberries, raspberries, strawberries and grapes. My compost heap is better than yours, professionally managed by the songbirds lured there by the cleverly placed feeder. Cleared the path from the back gate to the bike trail. Blackberries are tough in this area, so that is a project to finish later, when I hope to add some cedar trees back there, and a lot of wildflowers. But it's mostly blackberry, now, and vines don't vanish when you cut them, that's just the start of the job. It's good to have a hobby. The neighbors have signed off on the new mailbox thing I want to make. Half whisky barrels, 2x2 cedar arbor, Wisteria or grapevines, undergrass irrigation, and a pair of big mailboxes.  My '80 Triumph convertable made it as far as the garage. Needs a lot of work. Old gasoline and 45 year old rubber, everywhere. It's cute, though, even if it bites my fingers every time I get a tool anywhere near it. 20 year old Ford spent 10 days at the dealer. Alternator, battery, the cable in between. Came back with belt squeek-eek-eek-eek. Which is really annoying because it's the loudest thing on the truck. Wonder if I can fix it. The tool shed has gone all electric, so the gasoline is now 'something I have to get rid of' where before it was an essential hazard to life & property that smells bad. The mower made me do it. It ran about half speed last time, and is too rusty to work on. An important part of the next dump run. And romance? Sadly, no. I blame the pandemic... Perhaps the new year in my new place doing my new thing will bring some relief. Perhaps my new, noticably smaller, trowser collection will help some. But what I really need to do is get out more. So, call me.
    Among the minority within the class of submissives to whom slavehood is a vocation and slavery the ultimate goal, many are happily collared. Many, many more, however, are not. They are still waiting for their One, the master or mistress to whom they can give their lives completely, their submission totally, and their consent unconditionally. Commendable though this patience might be, the waiting can appear more than just a little frustrating at times. What does one do when every fibre of one's being is screaming for submission, while one has not yet found the person to whom such total submission seems right and natural? If you belong in this group, or if you are simply biding your time for any one of many perfectly legitimate reasons, there is in fact something you can do. You can spend the waiting time "preparing" yourself. Note the quotation marks, however. There is a distinction here that is vitally important to make. You are not doing this for "the One to come", you are doing it for you. Why? Because if you do it for "the One to come" you run the very real risk of ending up worshipping an idol of your own creation with which no dominant, no matter how good, stands a snowball's chance in hell of competing. Instead of preparing yourself for "the One to come", consider it improving your own marketability. Most of it is a matter of common sense. You probably already know what dominants generally tend to look for. Some of it you'll have down pat. Ignore that and get the other areas up to specs, then work on improving the whole. 
    Hello all, I want to take a moment to give out some tips to cathing my interest with your messages. Some of these are gonna sound bitchy but take them to heart they will help you not only with me but probably every woman on this site.  1) In less than 24 hours I have recieved nearly 30 pages of messages. If I don't get to you immediately when you send a message, do not spam me with stupid are you there, pay attention to me, come here slut, and so on messages, that only slows me down and pisses me off and i will most likely just block you. 2) Do not write a thesis paper as a first message. I have 30 pages of messages to read and If your first message to me is more than a paragraph I am not investing the time into you.  3) On the opposite side of above, don't just say hey, or whats up. You need to catch attention with your first message. Also don't just tell me to look at your profile. If your message catches my eye I will go look on my own. 4) Don't send me a dick pic without asking first, come on its 2023 women shouldnt have to say this anymore. I am submissive but all your cocks look the same and I don't care to pretend otherwise lol 5) This might just be me and not all women but I do not want to immediately jump to some other messenger. All thousand of you who have messaged me today want to use a different app, I don't want to have 1000 apps, and if i cant keep up here alone why do you think 1000 apps will be faster? If we click and get to know each other i might move to an app, until then if you dont want to chat here why bother being here? Ok, rant over. The jist is guys, women here get absolutely flooded, dont be an ass about it. And if you think you deserve my sole undivided attention after one message get over yourself, if thats how it worked the first guy who messaged me would be the only one i talked too and where would that leave all the rest of you?
    I am deliberately leaving my account logged in. I do not want people to know when I am actually on or not. I deserve the respect and kindness and empathy I give to others. Tgg he e first person to demand my attention ended my accidental foray into chat and ended my ability to let people know when I am around or not. For real. Some people put pressure on others and literally push them away. I have been hunted. I have PTSD. So don't have expectations of answers or put pressure on me if you want to be friends or communicate with me. And if you are married you better have an open marriage or don't even try. There those are the issues that needed to be addressed in a concise manner. 
    Broken: In the silence of night, with shadows deep,   Loneliness whispers, ceaseless, won't sleep.   Tears fall like rain, in a heart that's worn,   A soul adrift, in a world forlorn.     Memories linger, like ghosts in the mist,   Love once cherished, now just a twist.   Dreams shattered, hopes long gone,   In the darkness, a heart mourns on.     Fading echoes of laughter and cheer,   Now replaced by a silent tear.   Lost in the void, where sorrows reside,   A broken spirit, no solace to find.     So we weep for what once was true,   In the shadows, alone and blue.   A requiem sung for a love that's died,   In the saddest of poems, our hearts confide.
    Goddess is on vacation with Her three beautiful slave, each fully devoted to My pleasure. That My inbox is cluttered with desperate musings from thirsty cis male creatures, who can't get Me out of their heads, only makes it sweeter. pine away, pray, humiliate yourself.  Chances are, I will laugh.  But you won't hear it.  Chances are your desperation will amuse Me.  But not enough to get a message back. it's ok, though, that addiction.  That unrequited love, cuts through your soul.  It's what you like.
          Only locals Im not investing in anyone long distance. No requests, inquiries, small talk. No coffee-low effort meet ups. Stay with your loved ones if you believe anyone here deserves crumbs of your effort to validate the "potential " of your existence.  "How can you make My life better?" Isn't something I am ashamed to ask, request and demand. Slaves and subs expect energy,time,  attention, training, be allowed in My presence and into My world since most are so god damn broke to have their finances or life together.  I pity the Women in your life if your only form of sacrifice and servitude is a humiliation to you to clean or serve domestically- that is the basic, most bare minimum thing you do In your own lives- no depth, no recent photo of yourselve, no negotiating "if it works" -wtf- it's if you fit into My life, add value to it, enhance and make it better. that is the goal. Not how I make yours better since it will by Me simply being in it. That sort of knowledge of who I am in this lifestyle isnt bragging and no, I am not ashamed to put Myself first- this is why I only have energy to focus on successful masculine men( power exchange isn't an exchange if there's no POWER) most subs and slaves here are so god damn selfish. who seek to be applauded and recognixed for small low effort gestures that only benefit them.  tips: Read journals interests and profile before sending messages.you will not be for everyone. Not everyone will be for you. If they have blank page, move on.  Learn more about yourself and who you are in this lifestyle. The foundation in knowing who you are and what’s your purpose and goal will help you find the right person.  If you're a sub or a slave- Is not about you. It’s what you can do for Me/dominants. Hire a pro if you approach with an specific fantas, demand, requirement. Do not submit to just anyone, it can be dangerous for you and the other person- don’t be in a rush.      Nothing personal if I don't message back to everyone, or block you, but I’ve trained and get invested in people over the years- their lives. Someone new that right out of the bat says they are new and don’t even have much; money, time, energy, focus… for Me- doesn’t interest Me. I am very interested in POWER EXCHANGE. No power? you don't have My interest. I am interested in My well being, My stability, all I have attained and accomplished in My professional, businesses and personal life. and I care far too much and get invested way too much with subs and slaves for those who are too comfortable or seek banal superficial connection or a fantasy sexual release.   
    Deep Space: In the vast expanse where stars do gleam, A cosmic dance, a mesmerizing dream. Planets and moons in orbits twirl, Amidst the void, a cosmic swirl.   Nebulas swirl in vibrant hue, Galaxies stretch in endless view. Black holes lurking, mysterious and deep, A celestial wonder, secrets to keep.   In this realm of infinite grace, Mysteries abound in deep space. Exploring the cosmos, we seek to find, The wonders that expand the mind.   So let us gaze at the stars above, And ponder the mysteries we still haven't solved. For in the depths of space so grand, Lies the beauty of the unknown, waiting to be fanned.
    Do you wish to be the property of a TPE Master?I am building a House of slaves. A House for those that wish to serve and to be of service to Myself and to each other.If this appeals to you, and you are ready and willing to commit, I encourage you to respond.I have been doing this for years, this is for real life only or leading toward real-life service.As part of a House you would serve others and the House as a whole. This is a big picture thing.you can keep your job and location for now. In time you could move here or expand the House (organization) to a location near you and maintain what you are developing.This is a rare chance to be part of something larger than yourself and enjoy M/s at the same time.I am a het sado poly Master but enjoy owning all types of individuals.
    ΠΟΤΕ ΔΕΝ ΘΑ ΑΠΑΝΤΗΣΩ ΣΕ ΜΗΝΥΜΑ ΓΡΑΜΜΕΝΟ ΣΕ GREEKLISH.KATEYΘΕΙΑΝ ΒLOCK
    For those who ask me this is the sort of Domination I enjoy and practice.  from www.cyberbazzar.com waay back in the day! The Equalitarian Dom: Is one who controls by teaching, mentoring, and leading. This Dominant knows that when he finds a comparable submissive that things will happen as a natural progression of the interaction. Usually just a short learning phase is required to receive the correct response from the submissive. Both the Dom and the sub “get it”, there is very little need for so called “training” and they naturally know what the other needs and seeks. The Dominant does not like the situation of constantly repeating and forcing a particular behavior (submission) to occur. Besides the activities (sexual and others) it is the surrender as a result of the Domination that is the enjoyment. Creativity is an important part of this situation. They tend to intellectualize and be more into the philosophical and psychological mechanisms of this life style. They understand the concepts and resultant interactions and can put it into real life. They do not need many rules like the Democratic type, nor do they like the heavy S&M activities of the Authoritarian, preferring submission to occur as a result of an instilled desire in the submissive to surrender. She “wants” to submit as a result of the Dominant’s knowledge and skill in dominating her. Sensuousness is the rule. Pain is given and received as a form of sensuous stimulation. Light pain as opposed to severe. Sensuous torture is a popular activity in this area. Both the Dominant and the submissive must naturally be this way. These are the people who will claim to be “born that way”. They fully understand the concept of D/s, it comes to them naturally and easily. They attract a submissive that truly and naturally desires to please and who will observe and sense what it is that the Dominant is communicating; and be able to translate that into the right thing to do. The “doing or saying without having to be told” type. The submissive begs easily and surrenders sweetly. They understand the concept of respect and surrender and can make it happen after initial learning with little or no additional instructions. They embrace the surrender gratefully and lovingly.   These individuals usually form very intimate relationships. There is not much downside to these relationships, because they not only gr the concepts, but can make it happen as well, and their attraction is based on a strong mutual respect. Their strong relationship is not readily apparent to the unobservant, but they are always subtly in the 24/7 mode. The fact that these things come forth naturally and without the need for orders is a great source of pride, satisfaction, and loving. They are the opposite side of the coin from the Authoritarian. Whose pride, satisfaction, and love come from strictness and forbearance.
    Wow... so stupid,passed on because I refuse to get skype or or anything else... my guess, I didn't miss much... I seriously question why people complain about their search not going well while pulling stunts like this...   "I love everything about your profile! You have Skype? No? Well good luck" I guess ya didn't like it enough to talk with me through the available mediums...
    The meanest man that I never knew From the day I walked on the floor, all of the staff warned me about you. They said you were a mean old man, it's best to always enter the room with two. He is grouchy, and hateful, and always a mess,  he refuses to let you change him, and gets quite ugly when you have to force him to. he always has chew in his mouth, be careful they said, he will even spit at you. I walked in and introduced myself, my name is Sarah and I'm new here,  it's nice to meet you. he ignored my hand and grunted as a response, I smiled and said, I'll be back to check on you. My first night, he grumbled at first,  we got the lift and changed the meanest man I never knew. we stuck to the routine for a short while, when at three a.m. and making some rounds, I hear a man yell, hey, so I stopped and turned around. I walked into his room, all alone, he looked at me warily, and said I'm ready to be changed. I couldn't help but smile at him, the meanest man I never knew, progress is progress, and he was beginning to trust me too. I asked the others, what his story was, they proceded to tell me of his past some spoke with disdain as they tarnished his reputation, no stone is ever left unturned in a small town population. Our routine continued at three a.m. and then at six, before I realized it, he allowed me to tend to him every two hours.at the least, and most days he even greets me with a smile and seems happy to see me. As time went on I noticed a pattern, the girls would give me report, and say with a smile, that the meanest man I never knew, refused to let them give him care  and said he is waiting for you. Covid came in the building and as it swept through, it got ahold of him and then me too. we were short staffed and there was no one left to call, so they allowed me to come in and stay only with the positive patients to work. That night we made a pitiful pair, but I held his hand, and gave him a pep talk, I told him we were in this together and we had to fight our way through, he squeezed my hand, and said, I don't feel good, but I'll fight with you. it was touch and go for awhile, I really didn't think he would make it, but, true to his word, he fought his way through, this meanest man that I never knew. time had passed and he never was quite the same and over the next several months, he slowly began to deteriorate. he became very clingy and held my hand when he talked, he often pulled me in for hugs he even told me he loved me once. his time was drawing near, the signs were plain to see, the meanest man I never knew was Tired and in pain he was ready to go but afraid at the same time he had no family left, he was all alone. I came back to work after my days off, the Girls said he was still hanging on and that they thought he was waiting for me. I made my rounds and sat with him in between  I held his hand for the last time  as the meanest man I never knew  took his last breath with his hand in mine.
    a lot of people think because you have a submissive side you don't have a voice , you just submit blindly, so do, I don't, if I find a Dom, who have the same fetishes I do or similar, then , it's time to chat and find out what the rules are , and talk them through, come to an agreement then go from there you can always say no. To something your not happy with. And enjoy. When you have the Dom of your passion, you will do what pleases and pleasures you both
    BEFORE YOU ASK WHAT I AM LOOKING FOR: Hopefully at bare minimum I can find someone to chill with and take that friendship and trust beyond what the public sees and into some special erotic level in the bedroom
    Psst... It's secret time. Pinky swear you won't go and tell? I'm trusting you since we're journal friends. I follow two journals: 1. A delightful crotchety and humorous dominant man who shares brief opinions from time to time. He's clever and funny and doesn't really care what you think. I dig it.   2. An eloquent dominant female who shares song lyrics, poetry, and conversations over tea. She elevates this place. I would love to go into a used book shop with her.  Okay, here's the secret part where it gets a little weird. I do not follow but I look for two other journals. The first is a dominant male who I am pretty sure is certifiably mad. I won't officially follow him to ensure I stay off of his radar as a precaution- sacrificial lamb is not my kink. But you better believe I scroll the journals to catch any new entries.* The other is a dominant male who often posts. I think he is some sort of AI. Hear me out. All of the sentiments match to the point of being repetitive. With poor grammar. It's like riding a hamster wheel. Someone requested it, AI produced it, it was slapped in a journal, and there's a psychologist teaming with a scientist in the background monitoring to see who falls for it. I can't picture someone producing the same phrases over and over. Even the mad hatter doesn't do that. Has to be a bot.  No, I won't tell you who they are, don't ask. If you know, you know. And if you're the psychologist and scientist letting me know that I figured it out, do put a rush on that.  *My crotchety friend is also fascinated with the mad hatter's entries. I knew he was good people. 
    Just a foot note, I will not comment on the USA Presidents HOME POLICIES, but will say to me he is a Facist in Disguise when it comes to the rest of the world. A Majority of so call conflicts He has allegedly solved is based on rare minerals, and the fact of attaining them at all costs. And as to His contempt of Ukraine and the EU, Hopefully in the not too distant future, the EU will stand up to the USA and say they no longer need them, and to remove all their bases from EU soil. SO IF YOU ARE A SUPPORTER OF TRUMP ADMINISTRATION WE ARE NOT COMPATIBLE.  
    Doms always ask me about my libido, which, honestly, has hardly changed in decades. I've always been quick to arouse, easy to orgasm, always wet, outright sensual, and very sex positive. No, I'm not bragging, and I certainly realize I am one *very* lucky girl to be like this sexually, with nary a bump in my sexual lifetime roadmap. I'm so thankful for that!  But the rub is, no pun intended, that I have to have a connection with my lover. The longing honest erotic sexy loving trustworthy dominant to his cherished sub dynamic type of connection. I don't perform, I can't get it up (so to speak) without engagement, I belong, I attach, I become, I subsume with my guy with everything that makes us sexual beings, and of course that includes emotional, mental, and physical.  Once I feel that connection, and know from my head to toes that it is both strong and reverential, my sexuality becomes like a well tended plant, soon to flower, over and over, again and again, each time beautiful and unique. Oh, yeah, and hot af too!
    Love and War:   In the realm of love and passionate strife, Two fierce hearts clashed in the dance of life. Khan, with eyes like burning fire, Choke, with grace that none could tire.   Their love was a tempest, wild and untamed, Yet each sought dominance, their pride unashamed. In the moon's soft glow, they met on the field, Their destinies entwined, their fates sealed.   Khan, with sword held high, proclaimed his might, Choke, with eyes ablaze, prepared for the fight. Their words were like thunder, their gazes like steel, As they battled for love, with an unyielding zeal.   With each strike and parry, the earth trembled below, As Khan and Choke fought, in a passionate, fiery flow. Their love and their fury, intertwined as one, Their souls locked in battle, 'til the rise of the sun.   But in the end, as dust settled and hearts slowed, They realized that love was the only code. For in their struggle for dominance and control, They found that love's power made them whole.   So Khan and Choke, in an embrace sublime, Set aside their battle, and the passage of time. For in love's embrace, they found their true rest, As two souls entwined, and their hearts truly blessed.
    There are a couple of ways to get me to block you.     #1 Block and unblock me here or anywhere.  If you block me do us both a favor and make it permanent as it will be when I block you.   #2 Unsend a message.  Seriously if you say something stick to it and don't pussy out and unsend it.     The best ways to get me to stop responding are to constantly talk about what you want to do.  If you think that this lifestyle is kinky foreplay then please stop or don't message me.  I answer all questions once.  If you repeatedly ask the same question over and over I will not respond.   I am not here to play games.  If you are then move along.
    Currently have 2 sub on a video messaging platform, anohter couple considering it on the same platform, A couple on antoher platform, 2 male friends on that platform also.  They range in age from 20's-40's maybe 50's.  Age is not important.  They  are all over the world from Florida to Nebraska, Boston, to NewZeeland and Canada.  So if you are looking for a relationship and do not or cannot give up and move for a full time relationship message me.  I will see what we can arrange.  I cannot and will not do a 24/7 live in.  So ti works for me.  I love to talk with people and see where they are at.  I will not make demands of anything that you say are off limits but will push limits if asked to. Thanks  for reading this and have a good day.
    open for live in slave I'm currently looking for a live in submissive service slave to my house. I have many years of experience of "owning", 24/7, TPE but not for longer periods , just play over weekends and for sessions. The thought has grown upon me to actually own a submissive and train her for domestic and sexual services. I have initial ideas of low/medium and high protocol etc.   If you you are curious, let me know and we will take it from there.   /H
    I genuinely love my boyfriend. I have loved a good number of people but this is the first time I've dated anyone for longer than two weeks who has not been argumentative, selfish, mean, and committed to never understanding me. And more often than not we communicate very well. We have argued twice in almost a year. He is kind and gentle with me. He is thoughtful and generous. He makes me feel calm and at peace. He doesn't behave as if he is irritated with me when I am anxious, depressed, or having panic attacks. He grounds me. He is all of the things I've wanted from all the serious partners I've had in the past.    He has never ever hurt me (except once when he asked me to go home and I took it personally lol).   Absolutely zero of my relationships have ever been this good, the worst being my marriage. I can say I am absolutely happy when I am with him which is what pushed me to want to be happy when I am without him. I had never thought it possible for me to be happy, alone or with another person since I had never been happy in a relationship before. I felt good and would call it happiness but I wasn't happy. Now that happiness is possible I must learn to find it inside of myself which is difficult when you've been miserable for 31 years    So this is what it means to find your person.  He is like starlight, like the laughter of babies, like the colors of the sunrise and the sunset, like the buds in spring, like a glass of refreshing cool water, like a warm hug. He is love. He is safety. Something I never thought I'd ever have. Something I've never seen anyone have in person. Something I didn't expect from what was supposed to be a tinder one night stand.    A one night stand that ended up with us being intertwined so intimately that we are now inseparable.
    I detest the world of text and email is little better.  How do we get to know one another?  Talking by phone is good, sharing space is better.  Nothing replaces breathing like air.   I'm here seeking now and am looking to install a slave in reasonably short order.  I've no intention of playing with ya'll for months on end.  We talk, we meet, we do. While different aspects are new, unclear, or undefined, this is not an impossible ask. This relating we do touches on our core and when we text and email, we are agreeing to open ourselves to misinterpretation.  We have lives going on, usually complex and not meeting our inner needs, we are over tired, sick or caring for others.  We dont have the luxury of seeing one another at work or at the pub to work things through.  We need to listen and give the benefit of the doubt until or unless discussions implode. Have you ever heard that the more ingredients in a food, the worse it is for your body?  Bingo!  The more division we put between us and our get to know, the harder that climb and claiming is going to be because their is more opportunity for misunderstanding.  
    Co-Top Co-topping is when two tops are sharing control in a BDSM scene. A typical BDSM scene has a top and a bottom, with the top in control and/or giving sensation and the bottom giving up control and/or receiving sensation. In a co-top scenario, two tops are sharing the control in a negotiated way. More About Co-TopThere are many different situations in which two tops may choose to work together. There are coordinated forms of play, such as two people wielding whips at one recipient. Their are collaborative forms of play where one top may be taking more of an assistant role. Co-topping can be a way to mentor a new top so they can practice their skills in a supervised way. It can be a way for friends or partners who are both tops to play together in a scene, or it can simply be a way to provide a more intense or complex experience to the bottom.
    Goddess' appetite is insatiable.  No matter the number of slaves Goddess owns She always wants more. Those who wish to experience My Glory here should approach and find themselves fulfilled in worshipping Me. Until then, Goddess shares Her Dreams. Fifty new girls, all beautiful and complete, were collected for a ritual.  All to begin their life in eternity as Goddess' slaves.  The ritual a conpetiton.  Goddess sits upon Her Throne, radiant.  In purple leather boots with straps and buckles and heels, purple leather calf length dress worn black stitching, animating venomous creatures that are My pets.  And a black corset highlighting My FigUte. The initiates were given little guidance.  Do not wear leather.  Do not wear black or purple, except if in rainbow.  Do not wear boots.  Otherwise dress in a way that reflaspects your submissiveness and in a way to please Me, which are quite varied.  Each initiate approaches on her own, first crawling, head low and unable to see Me.  Then when told to stand, to be inspected.  Ogled.  Desired.  to walk slowly to My Boot and show devotion with a heartfelt prayer of thanks.  And then to be settled on My Lap, to make out for 90 seconds.  Such joy for the initiates to be used. each is graded on their drEd's, approach, prayer, and kiss.  A lesser goddess would surrender to lust and orgasm after four or five sessions.  For Goddess it is but foreplay.  Building My Inevitable and Insurmoutable Love.  All fifty are broughy, kneeling, relaxed.  Hopeful to be the one chosen to warm My Bed.  My wife on a leash at My side.  No trace of jealousy.  Joyful that I take joy in cucking her in adding lovers.  she sets the example for all to follow. My Boots echo across the stone floor as I walk amongst you.  All heads bowed.  A few I touch.  On the neck.  Or hair.  or breast.  Since you are Mine, Intouch asI wish.  And you touch Me, even see My delicate painted toes, only when I allow.  It oleassMe how many quiver as My fingers trace patterns of joy on your bodies. inneach hand a marble is placed.  Unseen.  then as I sit on My Throne yet again, palms are open.  44 black marbles.  One pinis  four red.  One purple. i call the girl with the purple one to My Side and affix a purple leather collar, diamonds spelling out beauty, on her neck.  She is the one chosen.  No one is disappointed.  All pleased their sister gets to bring Me sexual pleasure. but Goddess is greedy. one girl is never enough.  My wife places red collars on four necks.  Gives each a kiss.  They too will come to MyBed.  But first, they will take 11 girls each and lock in black steel.  Confined for the night.  Able on to hear My Pleasure from the next room.  Each are kissedso they learn what others have done to please Me so that they might improve.  They are told nothing about whether they can oleasure themselves, though their hands are bound, during the night, except that the Will report 0,1, or more than 1.  The girl in pink is told to monitor their safety during the night. She had the lowest score, and so has the most menial tasks.  But a task of joy in service to Me none the less. whole the girls with black were being confined, Goddess took the chosen to her bed, and went down on her.  For Goddess loves the thrill of discovering your body.  Making it sing for Me. When the other four come, the room is alive with passion.  All must fill Mine until I am spent. Five new lovers.  In the morning a tangle of limbs.  Exhausted.  Content.  Then shown by My wife to their new room they will share, sisters.  A final step for the other forty five.  Each black collared slave girl is given a soft kiss, told their new role as maid or chauffeur.  Each is asked for their number, 0, 1, 1+.  Each answer is stored and welcomed.  A tool to help Me shape and mold.  Then the pink collared slave is fucked in front of them all, to show that even she has value, sexuality.  There is no chastity here. it matters not to Me whether you ire to be a cherished lover, wearing a purple collar, an occasional bed made, wearing red, a servant wearing black, or a caretaker of slaves wearing pink.  All have value to Me.  All are beautiful to Me. lexi and demon will wear purple for sure.  Others have earned red.  Some have chosen black, which pleases Me. Worshup.  Be the best you can be.  Shower Me and lavish Me woth attention. Confess to Me your greatest desires and fears and hopes and dreams and let Me share them with you.  Give Me your sexuality to play with, holding and releasing at My Will.  Find your color in My Realm.  ire to the heights that you wish for.  There is no shame on wanting any of the colors.  For you are all beautiful  There is one more.  Gold.  Goddess will in time have more than one wife.  I cannot wait to give out the second, though it may not be in this mortal realm.
    Ok, hello to all, Yes i am about to go ballistic on my rant. this slave is now one of the happiest slaves on the planet. i am owned and the sole property. His name is MasterMike32. this slave is only allowed to be friends to all. i would love to ask if there are any other slaves/submissives females that would love to become a sister to myself, please reach out. Wwe are looking for one to two, to add to Oour family. 
    Str8 males who come to me I always have great respect for them. They take a big chance looking for acceptance and more than anything the experience is submitting. Those must be treated like fine horses, tamed, and trained to take his rider. They may have an idea of what M2M sex is but societal labels forms an impenetrable wall that only a patient and knowledgeable Bull can bridge. They are scared and they rebel when you face them with the reality of the lie they've been living, claiming a masculinity they were no meant to have to begin with. they conformed to societies requirements and that is good for me because it means that they already know what conforming is and once you take control of their life they yours for the long run. Like I said, they may have an idea based on porn and their own views. They are cocky (very few come to me humble) but I always let them know that there are two males speaking one is the Man and it is not them. Devastating as it sounds it will force a reevaluation of their sexual persona and fall to their knees. The main issue is to get them use to a Man's touch and a Man's way. Their entitled attitude makes them think the are to lead but you are the model, you have what they want and never knew and most importantly you are going to give them what they need not what they want. Their wants are irrelevant because as a Bull one knows what they need even before they do. Patience is a virtue but once they get hold of you control they will keep coming back because they know you are the answer to their plight. I don't chase subs , they chase me and I choose. When a str8 male comes to me they will see the reality of their desires and my role as a facilitator is to let them discover the glory of worship in a Phallus and eventually been entered by it. At that moment any pretense of being str8 goes away and the true sub is born. If you play fair they will be yours because you have filled their world with lust and bliss.
    Tell me like it is, like a lover,what it is you long to discover.Tell me what is your inspiration,where it is you find heart to listen.Tell me where you go, understanding,when you find a space while philand'ring.Tell me when we go, go like passion,how we go, go like flame so brazen. 'cause I come into this placeeager to recieve your peaceI come with my kindled heartburning to recieve your parton my knees to your altarso proud of this one collar So tell me about the raw darkness;Your teachings and the path of service,about dreams and deep irations,and all about tall fascinations.Tell me how you want to strip me down,hold me down, decrown, and help me drown myself in your grand splendor,where I am in surrenderTo your profound, splendid mind.And in submission I findmyself in absolution,freedom and transformation. ~dirtydarling
     What I Require from a Submissive   Submission to me isn’t about weakness. It’s about willingness. About a man choosing, again and again, to place his strength, his mind, his desire — all at my feet — because he knows where he belongs.   Here’s what I require:   1. Obedience with Intention. Not blind, thoughtless yes-ma’ams. I expect obedience that comes from understanding, from effort, from the desire to serve well — not just to avoid correction.   2. Emotional Maturity. If you shut down when corrected, crumble at every no, or need constant reassurance, you’re not ready. I require emotional control, not emotional babysitting.   3. Devotion Without Entitlement. Your service doesn’t buy you access to me. You serve because it fulfills you, because it honors me, not because you’re waiting to be rewarded like a dog hoping for a treat.

    I don't want to edit my profile although I should to ensure that this remains relevant for anyone who might send me a message.Please put the phrase 'I make the angel scream, and the devil cry' in your subject line or message if you contact me, especially if you're not a switch leaning Domme sissy/trans girl/convincing CD. I am okay with exceptions if your message is well crafted, but I like people who read and understand others just like the Dominants here. If you're not someone I'm looking for, I keep an open mind — but sorry, you might have to try a bit harder just like I would if you're a Dominant not looking for a sissy slave. Fair is fair.
    ABOUT ME:      I am a “Service Oriented” slave. I was born with a slave’s heart and nothing gives me greater pleasure than to Serve. As a slave, I know that BDSM is not about me, but how I may serve you and make your life easier for you. I possess honestly, integrity and ethics and I expect the same from the Dominate as well. I see my future where I will live in a rigid, powerful Female-Led Relationship where the Mistress will make and enforce the Rules of our relationship. What I Have to Offer: *I will accept your will and decisions without hesitation or ion. I WILL OBEY! *I will devote myself to fully pleasing you including doing all of the housework, laundry, shopping, etc. to remove any unwanted tasks from your life (Service Oriented Slave) *I will accept all forms of discipline and punishment when required to insure I remain focused on obeying your Rules, Commands and Instructions. Obviously, you may also punish me whenever you feel like doing so just for your amusement   Our Relationship: * You will determine my schedule and how I spend my time  in an effort to add quality to your life *You will decide what I wear and when I wear it to humiliate and control me * You will benefit from my unique wisdom and areas of expertise as developed over the years. However, the final decision in any matter is yours alone *Our relationship will be dedicated to a lifestyle, not a form of role-playing (Female Supremacy to male subservience) *Our relationship will be based on Trust and Compatibility. Such an arrangement like this is not something you just jump into without developing trust with each other *In its purest form, our relationship will be all about You.
    Due to medical reasons and the fact I have loss the use of my left arm I am removing myself from the market, those that wish to keep in contact can message me by text. It been real and it been fun but can't say it's been real fun. This account will be deleted in two days
    It is nice to meet real people from this site. Been open met someone fairly nice but red flags are just that. I love a man with a generous bit of meat but if they don't kow how to use the brain organ in a respectable open relationship best to not get invested in even a friendship. At least I was able to walk away with some respect for the other person and little more for myself for trying but accepting not good enough, I think I deserve more. But I do feel the experience has made me a little more confident.  I put on a chic little skirt, wore some French perfume and put on a little bit of makeup and feel confident to try again.
    I have a few minutes to sit still, so I figured I could follow up on my previous post, and discuss the topic of pictures a bit more.  But I realize I'll probably never do better than what I wrote a few years ago, and I know no one ever scrolls back and reads, even if I few do read the current posts. So I'll re-post that, and maybe it will help someone. ____________________________________ Women are not men. I know it seems obvious, yet the majority of men still pursue women without really considering what that means. They write profiles based on what THEY would like, what men value, what men think is impressive, and what they wish they saw on women's profiles. They take and post pictures the same way - based on what they value, what they think is impressive, what they wish women put in their pictures.  If they crossdress, they take and post pictures similar to those of women they found sexy - scantily clad in lingere, posed seductively or sluttily, etc. without considering that those pictures, like porn, were meant to appeal to men.  They send emails, again, that same way. I repeat - Women are not men. Dating, at it's bottom line, is marketing. You have something. You want something. You want to exchange what you have for what you want. In a store, you exchange money for goods and services. In dating, you are mostly hoping to sell. You are hoping to purchase the attention of a partner, in the long or short term, in exchange for your attention, your time, your services. You are selling you, in exchange for them. That's actually a very basic equation. You can't sell to someone unless you know what they want, and find a way to market what you have to that want. This is where most men fail - at the basic premise. They know what THEY want. They don't spend a lot of time researching what their target market wants to BUY. So they market based on what they know, and what they think they know. They know themselves. They know men, in general, and they know what commercials and movies and tv and all media everywhere has told them is attractive to women. They, being men and raised in a male dominated world, never seem to realize that all of those things are ALSO targeted to men, to get men to buy things, usually by appealing to male egos. They show women draping themselves over men who drink this beer, or drive that car, or wear that brand of clothing. They show this to men so that men will want to buy those things. Most of the time, women couldn't give less of a fuck about those things. But men are surrounded by all of this input, so they think we do. I'm not going to try to define what "all women" want on here. Not all women want the same things anyway. Right now, I'm just going to clarify that what WE want is usually not the same as what men want. You need to find out what those things are and tailor your pictures and profile to market to that. Basic things like "don't use a picture of your penis as your profile pic" have been said a million times but it's always the first thing we see everywhere we look. Yes, I like to see a pretty penis. No, I don't see a pretty penis in a picture and become suddenly overwhelmed with the desire to have it right this second. I can't say that I've ever gone looking through the internet just to look at pictures of penises. And when I get one shown to me when I haven't asked to see it, I'm not horrified, but I right there decide that the guy showing it is a pushy, insecure jackass. I lose all interest in interacting with him. It's not that the penis itself is a problem, but that it tells me something about who he is when he has to insist on showing it around - that he's not interested in pleasing ME. He's interested in his own pleasure. And I can do better than that. And honestly, a picture of your chastity device is pretty much the same as a dick pic. You don't want your profile to be a long list if things you want, either. Yes, you want things. You will need to communicate those things. And the world you were probably raised in told you that women do things for men, even Dominant women. All that BDSM porn? It shows lots of women in black leather and rubber getting a LOT of enjoyment doing those things to men. Again, that is written specifically to be bought by men, so they show men what they want to see. Yes, I like doing those things to a man. I like doing them to my partner. I sometimes want to do them to someone other than my partner. But I almost never want to do them to some total stranger just because I like doing them. Your accountant may like his job, but he doesn't go out on the street offering free tax jobs to strangers, ya know? Your profile on a dating page is your resume. Your sales pitch. Your introduction to make us think you have something worth our giving up a few minutes of our time to read further or possibly even have a conversation with you to get more details. This site is a kink/fetish site. This particular discussion is about 'finding a dominant woman.' If you are reading my journal, your target audience is a Dominant Woman. Most Dominant women I talk to are drowning in emails and offers from men who call themselves submissive. Most of them are requests for US to do what THEY want. Which is the first mistake. It's usually their last. Your sales pitch should NEVER NEVER EVER be "I'll let you spank me!" One, why do I WANT to spank you in the first place? Two, why you and not someone who is offering something I want? I'd rather talk to the subbie over here that is offering to give me a full body massage, no strings attached.
    SOmetimes I want a lunch date  sometimes I need my ass licked  sometimes I need a toilet  sometimes I need a pedicure  sometimes I just need to vent  sometimes I want to travel for free  sometimes I just don't want to be bothered  sometimes I need a massage after playing sport  sometimes I need someone to wait in line for the exclusive, yet limited sneakers I want  sometimes I feel like pegging a slave
    Once upon a time I was able to work 3 jobs with no issues...... this week has been a "holiday" week for the upcoming Valentine's Day nonsense ad I've worked roughly 100 hours in about a week and my body has gone on strike.   There are still several days of work to get through and I truly do not know how I will make it.  This agony and pain is near unbearable.  Daddy said I must see a doctor and I can no longer avoid it.  No one should have to feel this pain just sitting still.
    2026 - What will you bring? It is a while since I developed a contact here into a rewarding encounter or relationship. But as you can see I am still here. Why, you may well ask? Why suffer the frustration? Well, simply because I know how good it can be.....when the connection is there. I have been extremely lucky a handful of times in my life, with special ladies - I cherish the memories of every one. A couple are no longer with us, a couple wanted more than I could give at the time and others just ran their course, parting as friends rather than partners. So I know!!! In late 2025, I encountered a soul that brought out the Dom in me, the best of me. If you like,  she awakened the beast within or the dark passenger I carry. It was not perfect. I misjudged an early element. She is hesitant to make any "move" or say anything - waiting for the Dom ( ie me ) to orchestrate everything. I prefer and am used to a more balanced partnership, but neither could deny the primal connection. During 2026 I tried to recover from my early faux pas and build a stronger bond. I knew and understood that she really wanted a full-time, 24/7/365 relationship, but hoped we could find a middle ground. While she stayed resistant to my charms and I harboured hopes, I could cope with the ambiguity - but that was lost in early December. I am not the jealous sort, but I don't share well - just the way I am. She has now visited and stayed with another single Dom at least twice, so backed off. I miss her. I miss our interaction. But I respect her choice. Submission is a gift that she holds in her hands until she trusts it to another. It is something I would treasure, but it is not something I could or would demand. I wish her will and hope that I may find another muse in 2026. Recently most interest in my profile has come from submissive men. I am not sure why, other than the number of men on this site? I don't judge, but it is not my thing. The interaction does not reach that beast within.  
    The Weight of Three Minutes - An Erotic Short Story  The marble is cold under your knees. I designed the room precisely for this quality of cold, for the way it travels upward through a kneeling body and reminds it, without a word from me, of exactly where it is. The morning light moves across your bowed shoulders and finds the faint lines on your skin, my lines, exactly where I left them.   You hold the cup steady. I will give you that.   My fingers brush yours as I take it. A conductivity test, reading the current of you through brief contact. You do not tremble. Good. I bring the rim to my lips.   The first sip tells me everything. The base notes are correct, the Darjeeling first flush I require. But beneath it, the steep is wrong. Three minutes would have given me what I require. You gave me four. The tannins have opened in a way they should not have been permitted to, and the result is an astringency that sits at the back of the palate like a small, deliberate insult.   You know. You felt it before I tasted it, felt the error in the air the way a barometer feels weather. Your world has narrowed to the space between my slippered feet. Good. That is where it belongs.   I say your name. Just that.   "Yes, Goddess." The word hangs in the quiet room like an offering I have not yet decided to accept.   "The specifications are precise and they are not suggestions. Water temperature ninety degrees. Steep time three minutes. Measured. Not estimated. Not felt."   "Yes, Goddess."   "Explain the deviation."   The muscle in your jaw tightens. I catalog it. "The leaves were newer stock. I thought a longer steep would develop the flavor more fully. Bring out the muscatel notes you prefer."   "You thought."   I begin to circle you. Slowly. I am never in any hurry. I place my gaze on the back of your neck with the deliberate weight of something being pressed into soft material.   "You introduced variables. You assumed. Perfection does not accommodate feeling. The muscatel note I prefer is arrived at in precisely three minutes. Not your interpretation. Not your instinct. Three minutes, measured, as specified."   "A flaw in the cup is a flaw in the man. Do you doubt my parameters?"   "No, Goddess. Never."   But your fingers curl inward where they rest on your thighs. I see it. I note it. Nothing is too small to matter.   "Stand."   You rise in one fluid motion, taller than me, broader. And yet you make yourself smaller in my presence, as you have learned to do. It is one of the things I have built in you that I find most satisfying.   "Look at me."   Your eyes meet mine. The familiar desperate focus is there, the terror of demotion. But beneath it, a flicker. Not defiance. Something more interesting. A spark of independent thought, alive and un-extinguished.   My fingers, cool and precise, trace the line of your jaw. The shudder that moves through you is full-bodied and involuntary. Your breath catches.   "The grade for today's service is pending. We will see if the rest of your performance can correct the imbalance."   I turn toward the lounge. "Follow."   Two steps behind, as trained. The cage sits in its corner, black steel and clean lines, always the outer boundary of the visible world.   "Kneel here. You will remain until I have need of you. You will not speak. You will not move. You will contemplate the difference between three minutes and four."   You sink into position. Back straight, hands on thighs, head at the precise angle I have trained into you. You are, when you are like this, a beautiful object. I have made you that.   Not a muscle moves. Your breathing barely disturbs the air. Every resource of you pointed at the single task of being still enough to please me.   And yet. You chose to deviate. You chose to trust your own palate over my doctrine.   Something uncoils in my attention. Not anger. Sharper. Interest, which in my world is rarer and more dangerous than fury.   I say your name again, soft as a petal released from a great height.   Your eyes lift instantly.   "Come here."   You cross the distance on your knees and stop before me, your face level with my lap. You wait with your entire body.   "The grade is failing. A failing slave is placed in the cage. Denied touch. Denied sight."   Your throat moves. "Yes, Goddess."   "Do you wish to be caged?"   "I wish only what you wish, Goddess."   "That is not an answer. It is a recitation. The one who extended the steep had a wish. What was it?"   "I wished for it to be perfect for you. Not just correct. Perfect. The new harvest felt like an opportunity and I wanted to find something in it that you had not yet tasted."   There it is. Your ambition, layered over my specifications, believing itself generous.   I slide my fingers into your hair and close them. The breath that leaves you is unsteady. Your eyes close. "Your wish introduced error," I say, close to your ear. "Your personal pursuit of my pleasure contaminated the delivery of it. That is the failure."   I pull your head back. Your eyes open, wide, stripped of calculation. Simply present. Exposed. Looking up at the only person in your world who matters.   "And yet," my thumb finds the pulse hammering in your throat, "it was a beautiful ambition."   I release you.   "The grade remains failing. But the correction will be hands-on."   "Remove your shirt."
    As I said in my main profile b I do have a partner. We live together, but his job keeps him traveling often and we are in a strong but very open relationship. While my partner has guided me through the D/s side of things over the last 6 years of my BDSM journey... I have a strong desire and need to explore, expand and satisfy my masochistic nature. I am looking to take the lifestyle from part-time in my life to more full time and am looking for a trainer, sadist, leader to help take me there.
    Guys, please do some non-porn research into your own kinks. It is bizarre that many of you manage to insult the very people you are looking for, by calling them by a porn term they find degrading out in the real world. You expect women to want what women want in porn, even though porn is written for men, and those women are paid actresses. You would not treat the women you know in your real life the way women are treated in porn, but for some reason you think women in KINKY porn are different. Nope. If you want anything approaching reality, LEARN about reality first. From non-porn sources. And think about it with your pants up. D/s is NOT all about your dick, or the lack of it, or anything else regarding it. Put it away and think about people, not body parts.
    Her hands held the pen, the black ink swirling across the page as she signed the contract. The last time she would ever see her real name, the last time her date of birth would even matter. She paused, holding her breath in her shuttering lungs… and as the seconds ticked by like years, her lung’s released and the chime rang. The electronic paper instantly sealed the contact and the encryption code saved to the nanochip.A metal arm came from the wall, and in a quick second her eyes blinked, and the chip engaged.She was still her, her personality, her smile, her spirit, but her body now belonged to the New American Order. She fought as long as she could, the price of housing and food had risen so high she was living so poorly. They had removed all unchipped teachers long ago, uncipped could not work jobs that paid in NAObitcoin. She could only get paid in paper money which only unchipped could spend. The black market was dangerous and she knew the consequences.The government now allowed people to elect to be chipped as household wifes. They would live a normal life, raising children, and making their families a unit, and thus rebuilding the community which once made this nation strong.She was a beautiful women, her long auburn hair landed in near perfect curls, her beautiful eyes could sink the universe. She held a PHD and would make an excellent home school teacher for a man who had a large family.She sat in the chair, gripping the skirt if the dress, and staring at the wall. A screen came on and the host started talking.“Gentlemen of the NAO tonight we have a wonderful selection of wives. They have all signed in willingly so there are no confinement rules for these women. Lets get started.”The door to her room opened and she stepped in to the hall. She took the step and closed her eyes, her sister got a nice man, they are so happy. She was going to have the same, she knew it.“First we have this beautiful older model, she will bare no children, but she is sweet and caring. She has a good voice, pleasant demeanor, tested level 9/10 in cooking and house keeping, she scored 10/10 in intellect. As you know gentlemen she will be tested for sexual abilities, her current rating in the outside was 4.6 so definitely above average but those chipless have no idea.”The door opened at the end of the hall, she walked quickly to the door, she had watched this millions if times on the tele. It had become required viewing but the poor only got to see the limited view, they put so many propaganda commercials in the show it was hard to really understand what was happening.The men in the room were all high class government officials, they were all men who had created the order, and their first wives were probably in work camps, or dead from the war. The rebels attacked their homes and wives, so many ran to other countries at the end of the war. Now other countries were turned to watch as NAO rebuilt and became the world leader of technology and education.The days of the starving poor was over, well as long as you chipped up. If you were a normie your life didnt change except you had no rent, no bills, but you worked for the government and ate what the government gave you. It wasnt a horrible life, you married in your class, and lived happy. The problem came with people like her. She was smart enough to live with out the system, pretty enough to be a wife, refined and well skilled, and her date rating put her on their radar.She only signed up to find a match, she was sick of her lonely home. They just started letting nochips on the site and she knew better!When her rating hit its highest the rent in her area went up, the power for vehicles tripled, food prices doubled. She got a speeding ticket and that was it… she couldn’t pay her rent… and there Lacy was, to offer her a spot in the highest ranked tv show in the History of the planet. It was required watching in the NAO and many international countries allowed their citizens to watch and participate, part of the new Jenniva treaty.So here she was, the room was black, the ceiling back, the bed and everything painted in the darkest black. She stepped to the door and the door behind her shut.“Remove your dress and precede to the bed.” The audience wouldnt see anything, its black, there is no light, but there are speakers and they can hear everything. She pulled her dress off and sat it next to the bed. She was stark naked, her large breasts we’re hanging from her, her body shivered as her hair tickled her back. She crouched down and lay down on the bed.“Place your right hand on the board. Place your left hand on the left board.” Her arms moved and then click the magnet locked, they had implanted her with magnets and chips throughout her body. The lights clicked off. For a second she could hear movement and then the headphones clapped down on her head. Hands ran down her body and the audience cheered as the meter stared to rise. His hands found her face and he pulled her in to a kiss, his tongue darting about and dancing with hers. His other hand found her pussy, and he clamped his hand down. The meter went to 1.0, and then his finger slipped inside, her body wetting for him, his head tilted, and his eyes flickered in to the darkness. “Ohhh a fun one.” He whispered in her ear. His fingers began working her clit and her body responded, he rubbed and twisted and pulled as she moaned loudly. Her chip holding her back from orgasm but leaving her right in the edge. He paused, and his mouth found her breasts which made her moan loudly again as the meter kept rising 3.0,4.0,7.0. The crowd started to whisper as no one had ever gotten higher than 8 and she was just starting. He pressed his cock against her, his large head pushing hard, as her rating went higher, and then he pushed in, hard. His huge cock filling her and pushing hard against the top of her as she moaned loudly, the harder he pushed the rougher he got the more she moaned and flooded him. Her hips moved with his, drawing him deeper, harder as she ground herself in to him. He reached up and put his hand on her neck, the default for allowing an orgasm during testing and she came. Her vagina pressed in on him pulsating hard as he continued to pound her, she came hard over and over moaning loudly. He stopped for a second and stepped back. “Turn over.” Her wrists released, and she flipped over, she had not had sex like this in years, she forgot it was anything other than a glorious night of love. He gripped her hips and pressed his cock in to her ass, as she arched her back and moaned out loudly. He started to work her ass slowly and then harder and harder pounding her hard. She shook as his hips hit her ass with a force she couldn’t believe. It almost took her breath how hard and good it felt. He reached up and grabbed her hair and held it tight slamming in to her harder, his other hand found her clit. He wouldn’t let her cum, he had decided now she didn't get anymore, they were all his. He pressed harder and harder, her body sweating and her breathing rough he continued, as he came he slapped her ass hard. The number blinked on the wall 8.7 highest first test score. The room blacked.. the commercial started, and men whispered among themselves.“I think i might have enough to purchasing that one.” A tall dark gentleman spoke. The room fell silent, as a bell rang which meant a second test was requested. The testing fee was not cheep, but someone needed to know her limit.Two men with night vision glasses came in and helped her straddle a round saw horse, her leg magnet locking in place, her wrists, she could no longer move.“Its time for the maximum orgasm test!” The host spoke in an over excited tone, his own body reacting to the sights. The lights turned off and above her head a digital board read 4.“According to the chip she has already orgasmed 4 times, remember folks the highest score ever is 70, in 2hours and 10 min. Once we start this test we will continue the auction.She was cold, but as soon as she felt it the sensation went away, the chip overriding the warning. A buzz starts in the background and her body starts to prepare, the sound of a milker clicking away behind her also made her body react. The buzz and tick tick take her in to a trance, and her body relaxes. He inserts a large 1 inch dildo inside if her, he clips the vibratior clamp on her clit as she lets out a loud yelp.“Mute her please.” The host says quietly. The man hits a button and her moans quiet and she starts to orgasm.“Oh no not yet kitten we aren’t even there yet.” His deep voice echoed in her ear, as thr command found its protocol, her body slowed the orgasm, and then liquid squirts on her ass as he presses in and works a large plug, its vibrations start to sink with the dildo. Her entire body clamped down, which only made the sensation stronger as she orgasmed hard. "oh yeah I should… release." as the word echoed in her empty mind the orgasms rushed in..10,11,12,13… her biometric system counting orgasm after orgasm.He smiled in to the dark as the goat milker cups attached to each breast and turned on low, then higher and higher, as it sucked her 38h breasts deep in to the glass, 22,23,26.He stood there watching with his night vision , his prize will be a percentage of her price, 30,31,32. He grabbed a flogger and whipped her ass hard, a flood of orgasms came in 41,43,44. He spanked her again, 50."Gentlemen our special purchase has hit 50! can you believe that? alright next is 35, rating 4.5, cooking 6 but comes with optional upgrade option, overall sex rating 8 with a maximum daily use 3 times… the bidding starts at her debt to the NAO of 100 Naobitcoins. Let the game begin. " the host pointed to the screen where bids were flying in from all over the world."The timer has started… bids are up to 2,000… 2,300… 3,2,1. 2,600 NAOBC… And your name is Cynthia. congratulations and may you live in the peace of your submission. " the audience said along with the host."now were are we at with our live test… 67 in 30 min, 68,69,70! she beat the record! She sucked breath in to her lungs as her body just kept going, she was dripping with sweat, her body begging for help, her moans muted her voice box turned off as she cameover and over. The machines clicked off her body shivered, and the chip took over, her hands and legs released as she stood, her brain not fully functioning. She walked to the bed her legs shaking and pulled her dress on. A door opened to a bathroom, an entire crew of beauty and glamor experts stood there. They had one commercial break to make her look fresh. She was pushed in to a shower the water spraying up and down on her in all directions. The water turned to warm air as she stepped from the shower dry and clean, the stockings slid on and clipped in to a pink and black garter. the corset top clipped in to place and then tied tight. her dress was slid over her head, and tightened down. Her hair was twisted and twirled and her makeup went on fast, a blinking light told the crew it was time.“Gentlemen it is time. How much would you pay? The time starts now…..” the     
    My favorite sex toy is someone else's filthy mind. I've always gravitated to chat for libido charged distraction. Once upon a time a million years ago, it was phone chat that really worked for me. I love to be talked to in play. But along the way, I became inhibited, not wanting to hear myself. Text based chat was like interactive written erotica. I loved the fantasy experience of new pervs and familiar ones. Rooms with a premise thrilled me, I loved working in the chatroom brothel here on collarspace. All these spaces degrade though and it is gone. This is the worst kind of nostalgia, to miss a virtual thing shared and loved solo.  I feel I must be old now and I do not know how to evolve.
    I had to cut my profile down to appease the CS gods on here. Somewhere in my bio they assumed I was asking for money.... Not the case... I was only asking for one to bring themselves if the find the courage to relocate.    On that note... It's hard to find people that are not just talk... Too many fakes out here made it hard for real people wanting something real has put everyone on defense mode.To clear that up with me. I am real and if you want someone real, look me up!!!
    Part 2  So we moved to a new bigger house and soon I discovered the brothers that would start me down the path that turned me into what I am today. So the brothers slightly older were loud , bold and of course very dominate. For the first few months things were normal , but soon things took a decidedly darker turn.   Things started with them hazing me at school , and the long walk from the bus stop . On the bus they didn't know me but as soon as we got off at the end of the street they would start , and when the girls that lived next to their house were there they puffed up and would show off , having me carry all the books , and taunt me.. I was just happy for the attention... and I got a lot of it from them, especially when summer vacation came from school . That's when things became intense.  At first it was fantasy role play , but  there was always some excuse to tie me to a tree or tie me and lead me through the forest that was behind our houses . Within a few weeks,  the clothes were off when I was tied, and they would leave to go home and get lunch , but always return with something for me. that I had to eat without hands. Then around the middle of that first summer the boys got a tent and set it up in the woods by the house,  far enough away to be partially hidden , and keep curious parents from dropping in.   The tent is where my training really began. From simple ties.  To elaborate  ties , to whipping with branches , to inserting things in me , the summer flew by and I finally felt I belonged , I felt the brothers cared for me , and wanted me , and I wanted to please , I ed to nothing for fear I would again be alone if I did. I remember feeling it was wrong somehow, but I didn't care , I was wanted, and that was all that matter. As things continued to progress they seemed to take good of their roles and the pain became more intense as the whipping increased in both duration and force . The  s I was to take and hold inside became bigger. One day one brother had me tied over a stool  in the tent and was working a candle in me. After he had covered me with the hot wax  from the same candle. when the other brother came over pulled my hair to raise my head and stuck his crotch in my face I could feel his hard cock under the jeans as he rubbed across my face.. I moaned and bucked forward as the candle went deep , and I was pushed into those jeans ,I could feel the heat , and the dampness from his precum. That was to much I guess and before I knew it his pants were off and his hard cock was pushing against my lips I felt a sharp pain as a paddle came down hard on my ass,  and I opened my mouth to protest and it was immediately filled with a hard  cock.  It made me gag and my eyes tearup , but it felt good and he was holding my head , and telling me to relax and how good it felt , so me being the submissive I am, i relaxed into the feelings and took as much of him as I could . He held my head firm , and began to stroke my mouth Stopping occasionally so I could catch my breath , and he could make sure I was alright. It made me feel good , wanted and in my own way loved.  Upon seeing this the other brother started rubbing his hard cock on my ass and between my  cheeks. He took out the candle and put something cool over my hole and pushed his fingers in and moved them around to spread what he had applied , next I felt something hard and warm push against me and begin to slide in , it was about the size of the candlethat was just removed.  But softer , I felt him slide in until his body was hitting mine. It hurt not bad , but an exciting hurt . It was something crazy, and naughty , but felt so good . All at once  things began to flow ,and each alternated their thrusts so I was being bounced between the two hard cocks inside me I had two hands on my head , and two on my waist pulling me deep in each direction. I felt wonderful despite the pain,  I relaxed and began to not only enjoy it but make it better ,I used my tongue and lips on the hard cock in my mouth , and  I began to contract my muscles to squeeze the cock in my ass . To soon the brother fucking my ass began to come, I didn't want him to pull out so I ground back on his still hardcock , and kept him inside until the other brother came in my mouth. It was hot and tasted strange , both brothers fell back to the floor of the tent laughing , that laugh you have when you just finished a great orgasm . Me I was still bound to the stool  but I was squirming , holding my mouth open wanting more . I had changed during those  last few minutes , and became a sexual animal ,  lost my innocence, virginity and any dominance  that might have remained.  I felt more loved and wanted than I ever had before and I knew I was meant to serve and destined to be a toy for hard cocks , and much later wet pussies, but that's a story for another day .  So the brothers fucking me became a daily thing that summer , and would spend many nights camping out tied in someway usually covered on cum.  When school started things were different , I wasnt hazed,  the brothers treated me like a prized pet , taking care of me protecting me , making me feel I belonged.  Sex became more rare , only ocassionally away from the tent  and maybe on weekends as the brothers began to have other Activities and friends , we had several more summers , but none as intense as that first one when they brought me out . By the last summer with them I was insatiable. I was addicted and they knew it . They begin to have other freinds join our camp outs , and they would always have me pleasure their guests,  one time I time I remember they had several freinds over , I was made to jerk off in a bowl in front of all of them , then suck each one until they came each in turn adding their cum to bowl. Then I was made to lap the cum from the bowl and move on all fours  while they all talked and drank some liquor one of boys took from his home . Soon I was tied , and once again the center of attention as I was fucked, and whipped until everyone fell asleep . This was one of the last times we were together , they had both grown and had girlfriends , so I was not as important , they did have one more surprise for me before we were done . This starts another chapter in my life ... for next time . 
    There's something in the darkness I desire. That forbidden touch which ignites a flame in me i can't quite describe. Somewhere between fear and want. Somewhere between broken and whole. I hate it and I love it. The flame so close that I can't look in to it; "Look at me" But if I look too closely I'd want what you could never give me. You'd burn my very core and walk right Through the ashes
    I'm reading this book on habits. There's a little bit of the science, but mostly it's anecdotal moments of famous and not so famous people and how one small change created an avalanche of positive changes. Sometimes just within themselves, sometimes branching out to entire companies. It's fascinating. As I'm expected to, I'm mining the nuggets and looking at how they fit into my life. A lot of times an easy answer to why you do or don't do something is I don't know. Maybe you don't know, even when consciously thinking about it. And then you're listening to someone else's story and it comes to you, THAT'S why you do the thing! Or you already knew the thing but hadn't figured out the alternative better habit, like replacing junk food with a bowl of apples so when you need something quick and lazy it's the better option. I know I'm going to forget more than I remember, but right now its helping me to piece together the reasons why I fall back into certain habits and how to move beyond the comfortable to solidify the new, better ones. Not today, of course. Today was a shit show. But it's a plan for tomorrow. Progress. 
    A few things that got left out of my profile. I do have a preferred age.range and very few exceptions are made. No offense to you if you are not one of those. If your profile or messages mention oral, we are not compatible.  I am not monogamous,  but I expect my partner to be.  I am aware that is greedy and not ok with everyone.  This list will probably grow as I think of things.   
    Limits.. No online only, must progress to real time and hopefully 24 7.No pro Doms. Paying money to my Dom or Master for the privilege of being his is ridiculous.No blood, needles, knives, fireplay, brown showers, or pimping out. No STDs, no kneeling.. on account of bad knees, which actually upsets me greatly that i cannot do this. No children or under 18 years old, my own children are Completely off limits.. there is NO grey area on this. i am not pansexual, bisexual, bi curious, or a lesbian.. i have no interest in being sexual with another woman. However, should my master ask this of me, i would try my best to comply.There may be more to add.Interests.. Being restrained, discipline, guidance, micro management.. if possible with my prospective, being spanked. Possibly more to add later.
    Good lord this website is a bit cringy sometimes 😂  I swear so I was talking to one guy and we shared pics and I just send a generic one of my face and I swear he sends a picture of himself  in front of the mirror with his tiny Dick displayed "oops, wrong picture" lmao like sureeeeeee. I delete the messages and I'm moving on I didn't say anything back and like 5 minutes later he sends a pic of just his face and says again oops wrong picture. so I delete and move on. Another 10 minutes passs and I get a pic message from another guy on my kik ang you guessed it a Dick pic who says "Tom" the first guy gave him my kik. lol so I'm like good bye.... oh wait ya Tom told me about you your the one with the tiny dick... nice to meet ya. Lmao. I'm so done right now lmao.  Then another message... I stopped replying to a guy at like 1:30am you know because I fell asleep...  we had talked for all but 30 minutes maybeeee! He sends me a message "your so lucky I dont own you, I would punish you severely for ignoring me" (like I haven't heard that one a million times"  my reply "lol I'm not for sale! (emoji Of painted nails) thank you!"  some of yall need to get livessssss. I doubt that's gonna happen so I'm gonna have fun trolling while I can lolololol (If spelling and punctuation is bad, I knowwww I tried to fix it but it just kept getting worse... idk whats wrong)
    I have made a deeply hidden discovery.  I am in full-blown rage at the whole world.  It frustrates me becaus I have held it in check most of my life, meaning that I have forcibly ruined my careers, one and all.  It gets in the way of being a Sadist to the point of driving those who would be friends away, and mistaking scammers for human beings.  Terrible.  I have to keep my rage in tight check when in the dungeon.  So far, I have not found a masochist who was up to the challenge of receiving damage.   If you are up to the challenge, dm me.
    ok maybe I need make my self more come on here. So I'm getting a lot of you men on here that think I'm going to jump when you say jump. That's not me. There some or you think that your Gods gift to women, not true. There some that think you can make me a slave not going to happen them days have been long gone. There some that want to demand me on line yeah that won't work either. None of that is a turn on at all. I do know I'm new to this but I am a very independent woman and not a slut bye far or a whore or some one with udders as some of you like to call my boobs.  I don't have time to do the online games and task. I work hard and about get second job. If nobody paying my bills don't demand anything from me please. 
    I haven't been on this site in over a year. It took me about 10 tries to remember my password. I'm not sure how I feel about peeking in again. Same old, same old maybe.   For anyone new tripping over my profile for the first time, I'm currently 59 years old, and many of my pictures here are over 5 years old. Some of the earlier ones are closer to 10 years old, so keep that in mind. I'm not updating anything though since this site is so glitchy. If you want to see more recent pictures, I have active profiles on FetL-f- under the names Neolloydia and SoulSiren. Otherwise, all the info on my profile is accurate. I'm only interested in making local in-person connections.   I will add that to me, kink is something you layer on top of a healthy vanilla relationship. In no way, shape or form can kink replace a healthy vanilla relationship, imho. Therefore, I won't engage in S&M with anyone I don't like as a person, and I won't have sex with anyone I'm not in a healty mutually beneficial relationship with. Keeping this in mind, If you reach out and our conversation goes well, I will want to meet quickly and see how we click face to face on an old-fashioned vanilla date, and go from there.   Happy 2026 Everyone!
    So don't call me Mistress. If you don't know me and you are not my property and you have not requested permission to call me Mistress, I am not your Mistress and don't call me that. It's not a total rejection of you, it's a boundary. There are LOTS of other respectful ways to address me. I prefer Ms. Elorin, you can call me Ms (pronounced miz). You can call me Mrs (pronounced missus). I don't mind ma'am. You can just call me Elorin. But not Mistress, and not Goddess, until you have earned the right.
    I love a straight forward message which means I give whatever I love to receive.  If youre not in Chicago or planning on traveling to Chicago it's a great chance my interest level in you is going to be low.  While I do enjoy conversing from time to time I've noticed the different breed of humanity that touch this site.  There have been the indentity thieves preying on the community because they think they can suck information by aggressively love bombing.  There are those who refuse to commit to their local communities for whatever reason.  There are those who only want online and are relentless in pursuit of any nut they can get.     please respect my replies.   please respect my word at a non interest.   sont give a community with many dark stories another reason to be looked down upon.
    As a Master I envision my role as more than just a mere figure in their lives, but rather as a sentinel, a guardian who stands at the forefront of their futures. It's an inherent part of my responsibilities and duties to shield them from harm, while also steering them in the right direction. In this world filled with endless possibilities, paths and unforeseen challenges, I perceive myself as the beacon of light that navigates them through their journeys.  Moreover, it is my explicit role to ensure they become the most refined versions of themselves. I do not wish for them to merely become part of the crowd, but to fully embrace their uniqueness and potential, and ultimately realize the zenith of their capabilities. The world we live in is diverse and enriched with various talents, abilities, and strengths. Therefore, I bear the responsibility of kindling the spark within them, helping them unearth their hidden talents, fostering their skills, and aiding them in scaling new heights of achievement.  It's crucial to understand that it is not about trying to mold them into something they are not, but rather assisting them in tapping into the reservoir of potential that lies within, to become the best versions of themselves. This entails encouraging them to consistently strive for excellence, motivating them to surpass their limitations, and helping them cultivate an indomitable spirit that cherishes the pursuit of learning, growing, and evolving.    
    So many scammers out here. So many not willing to follow when they say they belong to me.  No people with age regression roles. I want an adult - mature and responsible. No very heavy people either. I used to be 310 pounds. Now am in 205-222 pound range. I need to be this weight or lower. I figure being with someone who is very overwieght isn't going to help that. Not about prejudges, about me and my health. Doctor says I could be more healthy if I lost another 20 to 30 pounds. I would be happy getting under 200 and staying there.  No single men. I have no use for single men. Sorry, but not sorry about this.   NO SINGLE MEN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  
    I've been reaching out to more people irl and making some connections. Over the weekend there was a very impromptu long edging session with one of my friends. It was insane because I didn't expect anything and he surprised me by having so much restraint while also being bricked up for several hours. There wasn't any heavy handedness or stripping in fact we were clothed the whole time. Being ace and also a domme I very much do not cater to sexual gratification or allow people my body. Nearing the end I allowed him a boob grab which lead to me squirting milk all over my shirt....he  ruines  his shorts 🥰 There was about an hour of after care talking about boundaries and trauma and him opening up about himself and thanking me for letting him be vulnerable with me. I also got to take a short nap and decompress from that. He offered to treat me to dinner the next day but I had other plans  I really value being able to be a safe space for people who don't hold entitlement over my time or body.  I really enjoy using sessions to address frustrations and emotions for people.
    I don't want to be funneled into a particular role, power exchange, kink etc.  I'm quite versatile. Whatever works for us, what we decide is 'our thing' is what I am ultimately seeking. Same with age. In general I prefer someone older, mature but the dynamic of how we get along is what really matters in the end. Age is just a loose indicator of our progress in life with references to various experiences that we may have in common.  
    Taking a page out of another dominant women's book. Their method approach younger men for an honest open relationship and avoid middle aged men. Apparently middle aged men in the bracket 40-50, Some are confusing deception as a form of sexual fantasy. To perform strange, alluding sexual acts and to walk away knowing all was consentual, knowing your actions are not misunderstood and frankly knowing your sexual open mindedness is not judged you have to have a high level of trust. So you can't do the above with someone you don't trust - fair statement?
    "I once has a slave or should I say they once had me?"  You/you can say all the negative stuff about this site and most of it is true, except that there are many real people here. I've met a few and been amazed by just who does lurk behind these profiles. "Some are freaking scary and some are friends." Im looking forward to the holidays. I love Thanksgiving and Christmas or at least cooking the dinners . My favorite time to go wild in the kitchen. And 
    Wanted: Man or M/M couple Top Only (regardless of whether you identify as a Top, Dom, Master, Daddy). If your a couple, I'd prefer it if the other is a minimum of switch UK Only, Overseas attention is flattering but its highly unlikely I'll be interested in travelling to you, especially at my expense. Yeah I've been victim to that scam too. Interested in bondage orientated kinks, Hoods, Gags, Collar and Leash etc Interested in SAFE SEX ONLY while dating, if you want bareback I'll only agree to it if we live together. You must accom, I live with friends, no play house rules here, if you cannot accom, go away. Hotels considered if your local. I am TRAVEL ONLY, please be realistic. I dont intentionally catfish but if you live 100s miles away, I ain't paying for that train ticket. Unless part of a couple (as above) you must be single. I will not play second fiddle to your unsuspecting wife, because you no longer get some at home. This might seem demanding, for a submissive, but with the amount of fakes on here, precautions must be undertaken for personal safety and to root out those fakes. Talk to me, who knows, I might be that elusive submissive or slave, you are looking for
    I think one of the hardest parts for people who are interested in me as a domme who are strictly online or faraway is that I am very extroverted I check messages and forget to reply . I do a lot in my vanilla life and I'm moderately popular. I just went to 2 birthday parties, I have another next week. I go to bbqs, camping, raves, hiking, etc. And I'm also very involved in my local community. Speaking of hiking I had such a nice conversation with a pup about work out routines and how I enjoy a lot of scenery where I am and would love to one day take him on a walk 💗 very sweet. But all of that to say: as much as I get hundreds of messages and would love to get to everyone, I am very picky with where I put my time as a Goddess. As well as aware of how many people want my attention. That is just the nature of the lifestyle  But I hope you all keep your faith. Perhaps get in your knees and pray your Goddess will rescue you from your day to day life.
    Yoinks ago I was exchanging DMs online with a local guy who was into chastity, but who asked me if I had a chastity device to lock him in. I've spent enough time on chastity forums to know not to buy some random one without doing measurements, so ... NO. It recently occurred to me that Oxballs makes fairly imposing cock-rings, so I did some research and found that they also make "full cover chastity" in silicone. So now I have a stand-by chastity device for early play. And it's hot pink! YAY!
      The slave contract.   Some people assume that, since "slavery" was outlawed (over a hundred years ago in most places), then "Consensual Slavery" is nothing more than "Role Playing"; that there cannot be any legal, lawful way to "own" another person. To the point of using the words: slave, slavery, and owner, you would be correct; these words are merely symbolic and have no legal meaning.   However, Consensual Slavery (or Voluntary Servitude) is legal, very real, and can be legally practiced. Can a person legally join the military?   If they do, are they allowed to just up and walk out any time they like without warning? Hm… They can't, right? Why not? I thought you said slavery was illegal? Well... That's right. The military does not practice slavery. Yet, in a very real sense, they do own you. However, they do not (and never would) call it slavery; they call it service. We will not go into the detailed specifics of what wording is used in a real Contract of Voluntary Servitude, but, rest assured, it is as binding as any application into the military. It is perfectly legal for a person to voluntarily forfeit their rights and be legally bound to serve, suffer and endure. Slavery is not about sex; nor is it about S&M.Yes, a slave may be disciplined and this discipline can take the form of sexually charged torture or tormenting. Of course an Owner can have sex with their slave,it's a given. But you don't need a slave to have sex or "play" S&M.If you are only interested in sex or S&M (or any combination thereof), I strongly recommend a visit to any of the places in Europe US, or Asia where (prostitution is legal and) you can, far more cheap and you can easily, get your needs fulfilled.   Total Control + Total Responsibility   By definition, a ‘slave’ is a piece of (movable) personal property (a.k.a. "chattel") owned by another person. A slave can be bought, sold or traded.While a slave may be cherished and cared for, a slave can also just as easily be misused and abused. Of course an owner can love their slave; nothing in the book says that an owner cannot love their slave. However, slavery does not require love.   Slavery is about control: the utter and total domination and control over another human being's life.   Slavery is also about responsibility: the utter and total responsibility of another human being's life.   There are two basic elements required of slavery:   1.) A slave.   2.) An owner capable to take the great responsibility of possessing a slave.   Illusions.   For the would-be slave, trust may be an issue prior to slavery, but it is an illusion.   Physical attraction may be an issue prior to slavery, but it is an illusion as well. In fact, everything and anything a would-be slave requires or desires, apart from their true and total commitment to actually being a real, owned slave, is an illusion.   Slavery is NOT about "romance".Sure, an Owner could romance or seduce a slave if they chose to, but romance and seduction are not "part and parcel" of slavery itself.   Slavery is about Ownership and servitude; any other element involved is something other than, or in addition to, slavery.   If a "slave" insists upon a requirement or a condition for, or on, their Ownership – they are seeking something other than slavery. Hm...Yes, it all sounds so terrifically unfair, doesn't it? An Owner can require and involve whatever they like in the “relationship” and a slave must endure and indulge whatever an Owner's whim might be. Ups... That almost sounds like, well... slavery! Doesn't it?   There is nothing at all that a slave can claim “entitlement” to; however, in an effort to demonstrate this, here is an extraordinarily brief list of things a slave is specifically not “entitled” to:   - Respect   - Honesty   - Affection   - Compassion   - Understanding   - Appreciation   - Courtesy   - Recognition   - Fidelity,Etcetera...   You may get all or none of the above. It is at the discretion of your Owner.  
    25   The silver circle gleams in firelight, A hollow promise, cold and bright. She holds it like a favored gem, Between her fingers, diadem Of her control, his sacrifice, The metal ring, the final price.   "Twenty-five," she whispers low, Her fingers tracing, slow, The path his tongue has yet to take, A journey for her pleasure's sake. One by one, they'll be accounted, Each when she has mounted His willing mouth, his eager face, In this most intimate, sacred space.   The lock clicks shut, a tiny sound, That echoes in his soul profound. A key now rests between her breasts, A promise of his future quests. He feels the weight, the cool restraint, A newly formed, delicious pain.   "Begin," she says, and spreads her thighs, A universe before his eyes. His first obeisance, his first task, No time for questions that men ask. Just service, hunger, devout need, To plant his mouth's devoted seed.   He counts them not in numbers, but In trembling thighs, in every glut Of pleasure that he pulls from deep, While his own promise lies asleep. Twenty-four more, a worthy debt, The finest surrender, truly met.
    Using a journal entry so I don't have to wait for approval to change my profile.  I'm 50 now and no longer a vegetarian.  I do not have any pets.  I'm no longer looking to move outside of Michigan.  I need to stay here due to the license for my job.  Moving within Michigan might be an option.   Things I'm truly looking for:  an intelligent, service oriented submissive who is between the ages of 40 and 55 and who is both single and available for a long term relationship.   Hard limits:  chastity, cross dressers or sissy maids, pegging, people who try to masturbate to my emails, people who have one main kink and only want that need met, people who don't read my profile, people who expect Barbie with a whip and leather catsuit.    I want to have fun with this again!
    I seek someone that is looking for more than kink, is ok with a poly household. Someone who seeks to develop a deeper emotional relationship. This has the possibility of becoming a 24/7 TPE M/s Dynamic over time if we are compatible. I seek a non-smoking slave. It is a hard limit of mine. If you are a smoker and have a deep desire to stop, we can talk about how that could happen. Talking about limits, I want to first know what your hard limits are. You must know mine. Because what you won’t do is just as or more important than what you want to do. If you have a hard limit that is something I require to be fulfilled in this dynamic then we will not be compatible. Just as if you need something to be fulfilled in this dynamic that is listed as my hard limit. If we agree on the hard limits the rest is icing on the cake. I prefer someone local to the Hampton Roads community but my local search has not gone well over the years. Therefore, I have not closed the door on those who are not local to the Hampton Roads area. If you contact me and are not local you only have one chance to make a good first impression and catch my interest. Also be prepared to make a zoom call and make a drive to just have a vanilla meeting at least once or twice to see if there is a connection. I do not seek a live in slave at this time. If you are not local you will still need to find your own place if we find we are compatible. Your fantasy of completely naked service 24/7 is not going to happen here. The qualities I seek in a s-type are honesty, trustworthy, loyalty, respectful, patience, dependability, smart, has high integrity, morals and values that match my own, consistent, organized, knows the value of being on time, and a good communicator. I prefer masculine men who choose to serve me because they want to relinquish their power to someone they admire and trust to lead them, not the beta worm who thinks they are a worthless worm. Nothing is more exciting than a man choosing to kneel at my feet and offering all he is to me to use in the way I desire. I prefer those who value their submission more than those who think they are worthless.  I look for those who take time to take care of themselves as I also watch what I eat and try to maintain myself physically. If you are not quite where you WANT to be and are not opposed to bettering yourself we may still be a match in the beginning. Your effort will determine if the relationship continues. I look for someone who desires to be my ultimate fantasy and will do whatever it takes to achieve that. I need someone who will do whatever needs to be done in the moment to help me accomplish the things I need or want done. Experience is a plus, as is being a masochist, but with desire and the right mindset anything is possible. I usually prefer those a bit younger than myself but I do not close the door to a fit older silver fox either.  (send a picture with your message if you wish to catch my attention faster) IF you are in a relationship with someone else and hiding this side of yourself or cheating, do not bother. I am no ones dirty little secret. I prefer a sub with a bit of experience and understanding in who they are and what it is they seek. I am not opposed to working with someone with less experience if they have the right mindset. If you are really conflicted about your kink, while I respect your desire to try things out, you need to seek some assistance on settling these issues before you message me. I agree each slave is unique and each dynamic is tailored to those particular people. But each dom has things that they like across the board no matter the slave. Every slave has their own set of wants, needs, limits and likes, its all about communication and getting to know each other. I prefer someone comfortable in their sexuality and I look for someone either pansexual or bi-sexual for my own personal fantasies. I seek someone interested in chastity both mental and physical. I like tease and denial. Sexual frustration is a game I want to experience more of. As I said above I love control and alot of it. I also expect complete transparency but I also give transparency.  Some things I might expect from those who are mine while they are are not physically with me: 24-7 location sharing home security camera access bath room use control Alcohol consumpution control Workout/fitness accoutability good morning and good night messages Bedtime schedule if needed Daily pics Asking permission for things you want to do. Clothing chosen for you Telling you what cologne to wear Daily or weekly journal  What elso do would you want to give up control of?     
    For the record, if I haven't said it before, I, myself, am NOT turned on by anyone in pink frilly birthday cake dresses.   If you google "pink lolita dress" images and are wearing anything like any one of those pink ruffled outfits, understand that it actively turns me OFF.  They look like toddler's fancy dreses. As I am not a pedophile, I am not attracted to toddlers.  I am, in fact, kind of repulsed by the idea of ANYONE being attracted to a toddler, and the entire thought process just squicks me out. So, no, not gonna ever wanna dress anyone up in a frilly pink dress like that. Now, if you make it black, with lace, and black fishnets, and don't make the skirt look like some nightmare square dance cloud of tulle, then, perhaps.  If it's properly paired with well done black eyeliner, etc. If you MUST have frills and ruffles, make it a fluffy bustle with a black velvet corset and a black lace shrug that ends in a finger loop Google "sexy goth dress" and wear that.  That is sexy. That is not 'three year old girl' stuff  Be a cat to catch a cat lover Be a goth to catch a goth dancer Be both to catch me Or maybe cosplay Thomas Brown Hewitt in the half mask, but that's a different conversation.  
      PLEASE DO NOT SEND ONE LINE MESSAGES AND PLEASE READ THIS SHORTENED PROFILE BEFORE WRITING.  IT'S UNLIKELY THAT YOUR PROFILE WILL ADDRESS ALL THE ISSUES I MENTION HERE SO I MAY NOT WRITE TO YOU EVEN IF I LOOKED AT YOUR PROFILE EVEN IF WE MIGHT BE A GOOD FIT. IF YOU HAVE AN INTEREST OR THINK IT'S POSSIBLE WE COULD FIT IT WOULD BE A GOOD THOUGHT FOR YOU TO WRITE AND FIND OUT......  Because this site mangles punctuation and foreshortens some words I have tried to get around some of the issues as best I can. Please don't think we are illiterate and don't have good communications skills.  We suppose the best thing is to eliminate the majority of people on this site who don't fit with what we're seeking. That is not a judgement since not being right for us doesn't mean you're not right for many people here. We are seeking a slave or two who can be comfortable being owned by a fairly radically liberal Dominant man. We have cats and 2 Great Danes so pet allergies are a problem. We need to live with bdsm as the focus of our household so custodial children won't work. Even though  many people think I am younger than my years I am old and probably only going to be able to function as a Master for another 15 years or so. Once a family is established we will seek another dominant to be mentored and groomed to provide continuity for the family but there are no guarantees. Even so I still expect a one hundred percent buy in and c0mmitment. That literally means NOTHING held back, total honesty and devotion. Anyone afraid of hard work, total honesty or keeping a daily written journal won't work out long run.   I've been a live in slave owner most of my adult life but still have a lot to learn. If you need someone who has all the answers or can tell you exactly what you'll be doing in a year that's not me. My experience is each relationship is unique and takes on a life of it's own meaning as we each grow and evolve together our path will open up in front of us but neither of us can know exactly where it leads until we're on it.   We are a sadistic male dominant Master and his masochistic but highly service oriented slave. We work hard at living bdsm full time and still have active careers and time for the vanilla world.  We are very liberal, open minded, caring and dedicated to our way of life. Master is experienced and even skilled with over 50 years in bdsm communities and having owned live in slaves for most of that time. He is not judgemental and can probably address most any fetish or bdsm need you may have if he beleives you are capable of dealing with the outcome of living it as part of your way of life.We seek open, honest, drama free and not jealous slaves to join us in creating a caring small bdsm poly family. We don't tolerate bigotry of any kind. The mantra of ALL OF US BEING ON THE SAME TEAM might explain a lot. We require an extraordinary amount of c0mmitment, complete honesty and devotion. The ability to trust and share everything going on for you is critical.Together as a family I expect us all to work for common goals, be supportive of one another, always be excited and willing to explore further everything in bdsm. Adventuresome and self aware of your need to serve and live bdsm would be good. I am flexible and will consider slaves of any  legal age or gender or situation as in couples, singles or even an existent poly family because everyone has something to offer that could be useful to this poly family at each stage in their lives. But do keep in mind I ask for and expect a lot from slaves, That means literally 100 percent from you whatever that turns out to be.  We believe we offer a lot in return and if we connect this is an extraordinary opportunity for you and us. Please write if you feel an interest. We hate to waste your and our time if you cant envision an older owner or being expected to stay in slave space mindset almost all the time. There is a lot that we havent said here but again in the interest of not wasting your time I will stop and have more to share if you have an interest. We always answer questions as honestly as possible, feel free to ask anything.
    Yesterday was my birthday!  Let's dance, babe! It's never too late ;-)    https://youtu.be/DAT89-gDBlE
    You say You are concernedwhen i say i am corneredin my thoughts, craftedby cornerstones of my sinsand demons and shadows.You say it is cold in herewhen i say the fire still claimsthe corners of our house.You say You are going for a walkwhen i can't even find a door.You say i need to be tucked inwhen i am concerned about Younever returning, taking myheart with You tucked awayand forgotten in Your pocket.You say that time will heal mewhen i say that this time wasmy last time, for this life time.You say i will be just finewhen i say you are my world.-dirtydarling
    I lost someone this week.  No we weren't close lately.  We used to be.  Our relationship was never defined, it was loosely maintained, but we popped in and out of each other's lives over the period of several years.  He was my first introduction to bdsm and the only D type that I could truly call a close friend at any point.   He is the only one who ever took me to that amazing place that every sub reaches for, and when I used to write, I wrote about our times together.  Those are still some of my favorites to look back on.  He was also there to cradle me in his arms and comfort me when a scene with someone else went really bad.  He was there to help me figure out what I was and wanted without pressing himself on me, so that I would be safe in the future and make better choices about who I interacted with.  He served as my protector for a while, when I was feeling vulnerable but didn't know if I wanted to step back from the scene at that point.  He never made me feel like a burden.  He helped me in my kink life and he helped me equally in my vanilla life.  I knew he was sick but he didn't let on how bad it was. I found out on the book of faces.  He is gone now, and I wish I could have been there for him, but he didn't want anyone to know the extent of his illness.  That was his way. Goodbye SkyMaster.  You will always be loved, you will always be appreciated.  I have nothing but warmth in my heart and in my soul for you.  I can say that about VERY FEW people in my life.  You will always be missed.    
    It’s been a long time since I wore a chastity device. Mostly because after years on hormones I was joyously limp without significant effort so wearing it was like jewelry at best. Additionally as my testicles shrank getting a ring device to even stay on became more and more problematic. This year for several reasons I had to stop hormones for most of the year. The result is that in the last few weeks I’ve begun to experience small morning erections. Because of this, until I can restart hormones in another month or so I decided to go back to using a chastity device. Which gets me to the point of this entry. The sheer act of putting on chastity has left me so horny! I’m grinding my ass on every seat when I sit down. Want to suck and stroke someone so badly. Why this surprises me is that most of the time while I love to please sex isn’t an overwhelming need.
    Waitress the Musical is in theaters for a few days, in case you were not aware. I saw it twice. I have been listening to the soundtrack for quite some time so while I'm familiar with the music and the story, it was nice to put it all together. It gave it more meaning, and definitely endeared several songs and characters that I had quickly dismissed prior. I highly recommend it if you have time tomorrow. Last day.  There is this one character, Dawn. She works at the diner and is quite quirky and loveable. She has a song that is entertaining, and in my opinion, extremely heartbreaking. There are two lines that hit me: What if when he sees me, what if he doesn't like it? What if he runs the other way and I can't hide from it? What happens then?What if when he knows me, he's only disappointed? What if I give myself away only to get it given back? I couldn't live with that. I feel that so much. That feeling of not being sure, thinking I'm not enough. That I'm not worth the effort. It's something that resurfaces in rocky relationship times. And sometimes for no reason at all. To drown it out I need to be loved out loud. Consistently. To quote another song, this one sung by Dawn's also quirky beau: I love you like a table. Cover me in stuff and I will hold it up, strong and stable. I love you like a table.  I'm a lot of work. I know this. I also know that somebody out there won't mind. 
     A collar isn’t just a symbol… it’s a question What does your collar mean to you? Is it ownership, trust, devotion, identity… or something else entirely? For some, it’s a sacred vow. For others, it’s a promise to themselves — a reminder of who they are when they give themselves over.   I want to hear your thoughts. When you see or wear a collar, what stirs in your heart? Is it pride? Submission? Comfort? Or maybe a little fear that makes you more alive?   Let’s open this dialogue. Share your experience. 
    Since I seem to get the same questions over and over I will answer them here and save me and anyone asking time and effort: Q: Would you consider a male slave?/Do you ever play with a male sub? A: Not really. My style of BDSM is very sexual and since males doesn't attract me sexually I wouldn't enjoy a male slave. I might consider a male slave as part of a submissive couple, but then again he couldn't expect much sexual interaction between him and me. Q: Would you consider a CD/TV/Sissy as your slave? A: I might consider it if you are part of a couple where the other party is a sub female, or if you are very feminine, very young and very submissive. Q: Would you train my wife if I send her to you for a limited time and send me photos and films of you training and using her? A: Yes I would if you really send her AND if she is in on it. The problem with the couples and men asking for this is they disappear and erase their profile after 20 - 30 messages and sometimes the same number of mails. Most probably they were roleplaying and there was no wife OR she wasn't in on it and they din't dare to suggest it to her, or if they did she wouldn't play along. Q: Would you train me on-line?/Would you claim me as your on-line slave? A: Probably not. I used to say no way, but during the pandemic I did have a few sexual relationships with submissive girls in several countries using telephone and/or various chat apps. We shared our dirty fantasies, we shared orgasms and I had some of them do painful and perverse things on themselves on my command. Now when the pandemic seems to be over and IRL contact is possible again on-line relationships seems less attractive. I live the lifestyle IRL and even an on-line slave girl takes time and effort. It's not a definite no, but you would have to be very special and very devoted for me to consider an on-line slave.
    The idea of domination and control permeates the fantasies of many tops.  However, is very rare to find individuals that are willing to explore the realms to which they demand their subs to go. It is not enough  to take the sacred charter of the sub's will, the top must earn the right to be called lord, master,sir,or any other name the sub is required to use.  The sub gives freely what he is not willing to take back from his top.   That is the theory behind the creation of armies since the beginning of our belligerent history. The sexual background noise the armies have used to veil the idea of how willing men are to follow those who they consider superior specimens of the gender has been obscured by ranks and uniforms.   Now back to our top/ sub relationship. If we consider how intense and painfully personal the relationship of top and sub is, it should not surprise us that people will misunderstand power with abuse. The sacred charter of this relationship is better to start with ritual behavior to cement, clarify, and establish boundaries. The idea of ritual as a psycho drama has been the language of choice for our species since the beginning of our humanity. On a power charged relationship the idea of surrender and possession is better expressed through ritual behavior. This ritual behavior is key to understand how powerful is the mounting of the sub by his top. Once the power relation is established it is consummated and powerfully demonstrated through the penetration at the end of the role playing that occurs between the top and the sub. It is always good to remember that the power of the top comes from the sub willingness to give himself to his master.
    Since I can't edit my profile without a long wait for approval, I'll add this here.  I'm looking for both a kinky and vanilla, and sex and love relationship within a Dominant submissive or possibly a Master slave dynamic.  A lot of contacts I get here are from Dominants who seem to have missed that L word! 
    August 7, 2024 – Cock Hungry Slut gets his CHERRY POPPED TODAY !   I'm changing the name of one of the guys who have been hanging around for quite some time.   The first met him when he was single. He loved having toys shoved up his ass. But that was our limit. But he was young and hot and I definitely enjoyed playing with his ass.  It was common occurrence to have him hop up into the sling and shove all manner of things in his hole to stretch him.   Then he disappeared for a while. It turned out he got married. And after a while he made the decision he wanted to play again, so we did.   Now, he has outed himself to his new wife and they have opened the relationship and she has turned him into a cuckold. He tells me he's looking forward to sucking a guy's cock after that cock has fucked his wife. Or maybe eat some guys cum out of her snatch when some random guy is done using his wife. And eventually, maybe have someone fuck him while he's eating his wife out.   But he has to start somewhere. And that somewhere was losing his virginity with me today. I get to pop his cherry today and leave my load inside him.         When he arrived I was already naked sitting in my chair with a hard on. I told him to strip and get on his knees and suck my cock. As he stripped he was wearing a micro cock cage. It had a belt around his waist holding it up. It was one of the extremely small micro cages made of metal.   He had briefly sucked my cock once before a few months ago, but today was especially exciting knowing that cock was going to penetrate his ass today.   Oh my God he was good at sucking my cock. Maybe I was extra excited knowing I was going to fuck him for the first time and leave my load inside him. But while on his knees in front of my chair, I watched intently as my cock went in and out of his mouth.    I grabbed a handful of his hair, I grabbed it hard, and I forced him down on my cock. I just wanted to see how far I could push him both literally and figuratively. It appeared that he was willing to take any amount of abuse. But if he's going to be a cuckold, he needs to get used to being used.   He would choke occasionally and I would reassure him that was normal. That he would get used to a cock in his mouth. And eventually his wife would be having him suck on cocks much larger than mine, so he better get used to it.   After about 10 minutes of cock sucking we decided to clean his ass out. I led him to the bathroom and told him to get down on all fours.  I got the old fashioned rubber enema bag out of the closet and unscrewed the top. I let the tap water run until it was warm. I filled the red rubber enema bag almost completely full of water then screwed the tube back on the bag.   READ THE ENTIRE STORY AT www.SirKel.top  
    I absolutely missed telling off Fake Doms and DDs keeping me entertained. Little/sub/prey doesn't mean weak I'm stronger than any of you have a clue and much more comfortable in being ruthless when needed. Trying to bait me will only get you bitten and mauled.  I have thoroughly enjoyed being entertained but really if you don't belong and have not done research and put in the time I'm the last person you want to try!