winterfox

“What response on my part will bring this conversation to a speedy conclusion?”
                                                                      Sheldon, The Big Bang Theory

The number of times that I have had this thought at work is frightening...

After the first couple of months on Atlantis, Sheppard has a list of personnel who are never, under any circumstance, to be allowed to do the laundry on their own. Elisabeth thinks John is being overly critical, but there are certain facts that tilt the argument in his favor. Beginning with the fact that although they try their best, very few of the expedition team actually know how to _do_ laundry, nor do they know which items should and should not go into a dryer if they want it to survive the cleaning process. And the less said about Teyla's favorite blue top, and Carson's knitted sweater the safer Sheppard will feel when sparing with Teyla and during post mission check-ups.

2. Ancient Artifact numbers: 73594, 83653, 835527, and 288452.

Clearly, there needs to be more extensive checking of the science team uniforms before they are thrown into the wash. This fact was regrettably reinforced after artifact 83653 was discovered to have had a negative reaction to heat after Lt. Cadman and her team uncovered the source of the explosion.

3. Those strange not-a-gerbil creatures from PTS-832.

Who, thankfully, seemed to enjoy not only the bath, but the warmth of the dryer, and reassured Elisabeth that the treaty would indeed be signed, now that they had first hand experience of how generous and welcoming the expedition was by insisting their diplomats have a relaxing a trip to the Spa built by the Ancestors.

4. Knives

Which unfortunately equals lots of shredded clothing. Subsequently, the rise in attendance in the informal, Sewing for Beginners, lessons has prompted Chuck to add more classes, Sheppard to revise his instructions of how to search laundry items, and Lorne to requisition metal detectors for those on laundry detail.

5. Socks

Regrettably these socks do not belonging to the expedition. However, the mystery of where lost dryer socks go seems to have been solved. McKay is working on a formula to send them all back to their original dryers, but at this point it isn't looking promising. Fortunately, he has managed to stop new socks from arriving, and has also created an algorithm to prevent the expeditions' socks from disappearing.