| I JUST WANT TO BE A REAL BOY |
[Aug. 28th, 2011|09:14 pm]
Muzz
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Alright the inspiration for a story struck late, but i think you'll enjoy the story of...
Hepatocyte Boy!
In a time long forgotten, in a galaxy far, far away... there was an old butcher named Stabpetto. Stabpetto was an old man and had lived a long, full life, but there was one thing he always wanted- A son. You see, Stabpetto, though verile and promiscuous in his younger years, was sterile. He was married to a lovely lady many years ago but she had passed on in some would call the most horrific fire his village had ever seen! Stabpetto still to this day cursed the name of the dragon that stayed at the inn and had a terrible snoring problem. But alas, nothing he did brought back his wife, and they had many long and happy years together so her memories, though sometimes upsetting, were in the end happy ones.
His wife's passing, however, just fueled his want for a son- something to help fill the loneliness brought on by the many years past. But he was but a butcher, and in his advanced age, growing slightly senile and a bit eccentric. One day he was sitting on the table and a cricket chirped at him from across his place at said table. Being old and a bit cookoo, he had a bout of delirium and thought the cricket spoke. "Good evening kind sir, I am Jermaine T Crickerpotter. I couldn't help but notice how woeful you have been and the longing for a son! But kind sir, the answer is all around you! You are surrounded by the very building blocks of life! Why not, in your infinite knowledge of butchery, MAKE yourself a son? The adoption process is far too long and involving, and you are terrifically old. The agency would never okay you to foster someone else's flesh." "BY golly you are right, talking cricket!" "Jermaine" "Yes, Jeremy, yes! I will MAKE myself a boy from the best meats available! I will have a son!"
The old butcher worked long into the week crafting and... meat-ing. and.. whatever butchers do, only in reverse. Soon, he was finished! His work was complete, and he would have a real son! He stepped back from his masterpiece, his life's opus, and spoke- "Hepatocyte, my son! Wake up! your father wishes to.. MEAT.. you! Ha ha, i still got it". But no reply. For Stabpetto, in all his Butchery knowledge, did not know neurosurgery and could not get his son's brain to function. It also didn't help that the boy was completely made of liver. Livers of all sorts of animals (including the White Goat. You Vaudun people know what i mean).
Stabpetto sat in his chair, dissapointed and exhausted. He put his life, his soul, into the creation of his livery son and, much like the rest of his life, had not much to show for it. His hands over his face, he wept at his seat. "Criminy, old man, your work was for naught-" Stabpetto smashed the talking cricket with a meat tenderizer and continued to weep. His plight moved the tears of a passing faerie, she had a green glow with a green dress and a crooked nose with a bit if a haunch back. Stabpetto was taken aback, for this hideous glowing thing was in his house "rob me, kill me, whatever you wish, for my life has no meaning anymore" "Oh you poor senile old codger, i have not come to molest you, but to help you! I see your sadness, and I wish to make your dream come true. I will give life to your meaty son'. she waved a wand and suddenly Hepatocyte was standing, blinking his half cow, half deer eyes in the glow of the faerie. "What happened? what is going on?" he asked. "OH SON! Thank you green hideous lady, thank you!" "Be careful, however, for he will stay as he is until he proves himself worthy of becoming human flesh and bone!" "Oh we will not let you down" he said as he hugged his slimey organ meat son "We will prove he has what it takes- goodness we are going to have to get you clothes and something for the smell, son" "I smell like week old entrails! :D" Hepatocyte exclaimed happily. "That you do, son, that you do".
And i'm spent. Tune in later for more adventures of Hepatocyte Boy! |
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creative
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